Story Up On Hartford Ridge
- Thread starter Kathy in FL
- Start date
I'm going to go ahead and post the next chapter. I hate leaving things hanging even though I do it often enough. LOL
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Chapter 99 (Part 1)
Huely and Barbara are back to living in their little house on Hartford land. And didn’t her uncle and grandfather have a lot to say about it … before saying essentially good riddance to bad rubbish. Or something like that anyway. I wasn’t around for the brouhaha, still too busy trying to catch up and take care of the kids at the same time. Sawyer’s nose isn’t broken but it is still a little swollen. He doesn’t look anything like Huely, thank goodness, who is still every color of the rainbow.
You’d never know it to look at them, but Barbara’s family aren’t just strict in their beliefs, they aren’t just harsh, they’re crazy and then some. Or in my opinion they are. They’re the kind of people that run other people off from religion and believing in the providential side of life.
Barbara’s family have left Brother Don’s church and set up their own church in this little mission that used to serve the migrants over on the other side of their land. Away from the Hartfords and town, they say for all the obvious reasons whatever those might be. I wouldn’t say they’re leaving caused one of them schism things everyone was worried about, but more people left with them than I’d ever have credited … though there is already at least one family that run back and away once they got a good eyeball of what was really in practice. It has something to do with thinking that the country is where it is because people have fallen away from God and have turned this country into some kind of Babylon clone. Now I’m not denying that maybe there is something to that, but going the exact opposite direction isn’t helpful either. I just about died of embarrassment, and Sawyer right along with me, when I had to explain to a few in the family what “domestic discipline” was and then how I knew about it. Basically all sorts of things come out in the wash when you are in foster care and home inspections don’t always reveal all of the … er … habits and belief (and kinks) that people have in privacy.
Anyway, Sawyer could have pressed charges, but the cops persuaded him not to because though they believed Sawyer – the shape Huely was in and the bruises on Barbara adding to it – there was enough that Barbara’s uncle could have counter sued and … it just wasn’t worth it. He’d gone unannounced to see Huely about a job and walked into the middle of what was being called a “private family matter.” I won’t describe it but not much shocks me to be honest but what they were doing to Huely did. Sawyer … well, my husband came uncorked all over some of the men there because Huely could not defend himself at the time. What was being done to him was purely to break him and I think it’s almost worked. Poor guy.
Huely refused to file charges. I think he was trying to do protect Barbara but her uncle … the head of their family … threw her out of the family like some old-time prophet, and is basically telling everyone if they don’t like it they can follow her on down the road fast enough to raise dust. There is something twisted about that man, there purely is.
Uncle Mark, witness to what happened because he’d been with Sawyer at the time, called and some of the uncles and cousins showed up quickly, while the cops were willing to hang around and keep order, and helped move Huely and Barbara back to the Hartford land. They’d have left with nothing if the grandmother hadn’t stepped in. She made it out that it was their Christian duty and all that but all she allowed them to leave with was two gross of empty jars (Barbara came to them with three times that many), their personal linens, their little bit of furniture and what it held, and that’s it. Maybe the old woman was trying to help them on the sly. Might be there is some hope of reconciliation at some point, but I wouldn’t bet on it. Even with my crystal ball in the shop, it is fairly plain that Barbara’s family has bent in a direction they are unlikely to retreat from unless forced to.
I don’t know who I feel sorrier for … well not sorry so much as deep compassion … Huely or Barbara. Huely is deeply shamed and some of the way he’s being looked at by a few in the family isn’t helping. The guy can’t seem to keep his head up except when he is with Sawyer or Tommy. They’ve lost almost everything they started with. No one else in the family is as close to understanding their position as Sawyer and I. I take no pride in that, it is simply life as we’ve experienced it. And if, as Brother Don as said, what we experience in life is for no other reason than it makes us be able to help someone else walking the same road, I’d say I suppose that is reason enough.
All the canning and preserving Barbara had done was comingled with her family’s food and was hidden away with only the uncle having a key to it. They were able to get some things, again thanks to the grandmother, enough to start over with but just barely.
Barbara cried for three days running she was that traumatized. Seems her uncle, brothers, and cousins have been “disciplining” her ‘cause Huely refused to. She’d been keeping it from Huely but a husband is going to see that kind of thing eventually and he got “disciplined” his own self on many occasions after that when he tried to protect her. I don’t know if it has broken something in him, but he sure isn’t the same guy he used to be. I finally convinced Barbara to stop crying by telling her she needed to think of the baby. Yep. Turns out that Barbara is pregnant and that alone is what is making Huely refuse to completely give into the misery and embarrassment that seems to weigh him down. They just figured it out the night before Huely had asked if Barbara could leave some of her canning in our barn, and had been trying to find some way to escape on their own thinking their previous actions had burnt a bridge it is taking some convincing could be rebuilt.
Barbara and I talk about the situation some, but not much. She doesn’t want to any more than Huely does, but sometimes her emotions say she needs a female to speak to. After revealing a few things I’d rather not have known but felt I couldn’t tell her that I asked, “Barbara, wouldn’t they have let up on you if you’d explained you were going to have a baby?”
She shrugged and turned her face away. “Not until I started to show and even then …” She looked at me. “They didn’t stop with my sister. And then they blamed her for nearly having a miscarriage. And her husband is all-in with Uncle Terrance’s teaching and preaching. Tammy is all-in herself, and blinded to everything else. We hadn’t moved back at the time and I … I kinda feel bad I didn’t know the spot she was in. When we did move back I tried, I really did. I just don’t feel it in my heart the way they say I should even though they say it is out of love, they say I must not love them or understand biblical teachings.”
I snorted in contempt. “Sorry, beating on your women is not biblical teaching. Sawyer showed me where the Bible shows how husbands are supposed to act and nowhere in there does it say hit them or anything else like keep them on little to no food and things like that.”
“They say it isn’t beating but disciplining the way God disciplines the Church.”
“Uh huh,” I said sarcastically. “I don’t see those men lining up, dropping their pants, and getting spanked in front of the rest of the family. And sorry to bring it up, I just feel they’ve got mush for brains for reading the same Bible words I have and coming away with a rules-for-thee-not-for-me kinda understanding.”
Barbara surprised me with a small smile. “It’s okay. Tammy and I used to whisper and laugh about it before I moved away.” The small smile died on the vine. “It was only mild then, not the torture they’ve turned it into. But either way it isn’t funny I shouldn’t treat it that way. What they did to Huely … that hurts worse than what they did to me. My own parents just stood there and let things happen. Beating him and then forcing that stuff down his throat to ‘purge the demons’ from him. Part of me feels like this is a bad dream but I know it isn’t. I can’t believe my family has turned out like they have.”
“I know I don’t have to tell you, but don’t ever forget Huely stood up for you. Against your whole family. Still does and won’t hear a bad thing about you, won’t let anyone think it’s some your fault, not even a Hartford is allowed to say a word on the subject. And we’re standing up for you too. I heard him tell Davis, and I wasn’t being nosey, honest, that you’ve admitted that your parents leaned that direction even when you were little, But that it was different, and mostly just the kids, that it only stopped while your uncle and his family moved out west for a while.”
She rubbed her upper arms like she was cold despite the porch thermometer complaining it was way too hot for the time of year. “It was never like it is now. Back then you’d just get your seat popped at the end of the week for every infraction that was kept track of. It wasn’t nasty like it is now. Something happened out west, No one talks about it. I was little when he left but I remember that night. He was saying that the women in the family were going to turn into whores and take the family to hell if the men didn’t start standing up to it.”
“Let me guess, he got caught doing something he shouldn’t and blamed a woman.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think so. Grandfather kept him on a tight leash back then instead of the other way around like it is now. But there was something like that that happened. Some preacher that Uncle Terrance followed got caught in an affair and it was a real scandal and he acted like it was his heart that was broken.”
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Chapter 99 (Part 1)
Huely and Barbara are back to living in their little house on Hartford land. And didn’t her uncle and grandfather have a lot to say about it … before saying essentially good riddance to bad rubbish. Or something like that anyway. I wasn’t around for the brouhaha, still too busy trying to catch up and take care of the kids at the same time. Sawyer’s nose isn’t broken but it is still a little swollen. He doesn’t look anything like Huely, thank goodness, who is still every color of the rainbow.
You’d never know it to look at them, but Barbara’s family aren’t just strict in their beliefs, they aren’t just harsh, they’re crazy and then some. Or in my opinion they are. They’re the kind of people that run other people off from religion and believing in the providential side of life.
Barbara’s family have left Brother Don’s church and set up their own church in this little mission that used to serve the migrants over on the other side of their land. Away from the Hartfords and town, they say for all the obvious reasons whatever those might be. I wouldn’t say they’re leaving caused one of them schism things everyone was worried about, but more people left with them than I’d ever have credited … though there is already at least one family that run back and away once they got a good eyeball of what was really in practice. It has something to do with thinking that the country is where it is because people have fallen away from God and have turned this country into some kind of Babylon clone. Now I’m not denying that maybe there is something to that, but going the exact opposite direction isn’t helpful either. I just about died of embarrassment, and Sawyer right along with me, when I had to explain to a few in the family what “domestic discipline” was and then how I knew about it. Basically all sorts of things come out in the wash when you are in foster care and home inspections don’t always reveal all of the … er … habits and belief (and kinks) that people have in privacy.
Anyway, Sawyer could have pressed charges, but the cops persuaded him not to because though they believed Sawyer – the shape Huely was in and the bruises on Barbara adding to it – there was enough that Barbara’s uncle could have counter sued and … it just wasn’t worth it. He’d gone unannounced to see Huely about a job and walked into the middle of what was being called a “private family matter.” I won’t describe it but not much shocks me to be honest but what they were doing to Huely did. Sawyer … well, my husband came uncorked all over some of the men there because Huely could not defend himself at the time. What was being done to him was purely to break him and I think it’s almost worked. Poor guy.
Huely refused to file charges. I think he was trying to do protect Barbara but her uncle … the head of their family … threw her out of the family like some old-time prophet, and is basically telling everyone if they don’t like it they can follow her on down the road fast enough to raise dust. There is something twisted about that man, there purely is.
Uncle Mark, witness to what happened because he’d been with Sawyer at the time, called and some of the uncles and cousins showed up quickly, while the cops were willing to hang around and keep order, and helped move Huely and Barbara back to the Hartford land. They’d have left with nothing if the grandmother hadn’t stepped in. She made it out that it was their Christian duty and all that but all she allowed them to leave with was two gross of empty jars (Barbara came to them with three times that many), their personal linens, their little bit of furniture and what it held, and that’s it. Maybe the old woman was trying to help them on the sly. Might be there is some hope of reconciliation at some point, but I wouldn’t bet on it. Even with my crystal ball in the shop, it is fairly plain that Barbara’s family has bent in a direction they are unlikely to retreat from unless forced to.
I don’t know who I feel sorrier for … well not sorry so much as deep compassion … Huely or Barbara. Huely is deeply shamed and some of the way he’s being looked at by a few in the family isn’t helping. The guy can’t seem to keep his head up except when he is with Sawyer or Tommy. They’ve lost almost everything they started with. No one else in the family is as close to understanding their position as Sawyer and I. I take no pride in that, it is simply life as we’ve experienced it. And if, as Brother Don as said, what we experience in life is for no other reason than it makes us be able to help someone else walking the same road, I’d say I suppose that is reason enough.
All the canning and preserving Barbara had done was comingled with her family’s food and was hidden away with only the uncle having a key to it. They were able to get some things, again thanks to the grandmother, enough to start over with but just barely.
Barbara cried for three days running she was that traumatized. Seems her uncle, brothers, and cousins have been “disciplining” her ‘cause Huely refused to. She’d been keeping it from Huely but a husband is going to see that kind of thing eventually and he got “disciplined” his own self on many occasions after that when he tried to protect her. I don’t know if it has broken something in him, but he sure isn’t the same guy he used to be. I finally convinced Barbara to stop crying by telling her she needed to think of the baby. Yep. Turns out that Barbara is pregnant and that alone is what is making Huely refuse to completely give into the misery and embarrassment that seems to weigh him down. They just figured it out the night before Huely had asked if Barbara could leave some of her canning in our barn, and had been trying to find some way to escape on their own thinking their previous actions had burnt a bridge it is taking some convincing could be rebuilt.
Barbara and I talk about the situation some, but not much. She doesn’t want to any more than Huely does, but sometimes her emotions say she needs a female to speak to. After revealing a few things I’d rather not have known but felt I couldn’t tell her that I asked, “Barbara, wouldn’t they have let up on you if you’d explained you were going to have a baby?”
She shrugged and turned her face away. “Not until I started to show and even then …” She looked at me. “They didn’t stop with my sister. And then they blamed her for nearly having a miscarriage. And her husband is all-in with Uncle Terrance’s teaching and preaching. Tammy is all-in herself, and blinded to everything else. We hadn’t moved back at the time and I … I kinda feel bad I didn’t know the spot she was in. When we did move back I tried, I really did. I just don’t feel it in my heart the way they say I should even though they say it is out of love, they say I must not love them or understand biblical teachings.”
I snorted in contempt. “Sorry, beating on your women is not biblical teaching. Sawyer showed me where the Bible shows how husbands are supposed to act and nowhere in there does it say hit them or anything else like keep them on little to no food and things like that.”
“They say it isn’t beating but disciplining the way God disciplines the Church.”
“Uh huh,” I said sarcastically. “I don’t see those men lining up, dropping their pants, and getting spanked in front of the rest of the family. And sorry to bring it up, I just feel they’ve got mush for brains for reading the same Bible words I have and coming away with a rules-for-thee-not-for-me kinda understanding.”
Barbara surprised me with a small smile. “It’s okay. Tammy and I used to whisper and laugh about it before I moved away.” The small smile died on the vine. “It was only mild then, not the torture they’ve turned it into. But either way it isn’t funny I shouldn’t treat it that way. What they did to Huely … that hurts worse than what they did to me. My own parents just stood there and let things happen. Beating him and then forcing that stuff down his throat to ‘purge the demons’ from him. Part of me feels like this is a bad dream but I know it isn’t. I can’t believe my family has turned out like they have.”
“I know I don’t have to tell you, but don’t ever forget Huely stood up for you. Against your whole family. Still does and won’t hear a bad thing about you, won’t let anyone think it’s some your fault, not even a Hartford is allowed to say a word on the subject. And we’re standing up for you too. I heard him tell Davis, and I wasn’t being nosey, honest, that you’ve admitted that your parents leaned that direction even when you were little, But that it was different, and mostly just the kids, that it only stopped while your uncle and his family moved out west for a while.”
She rubbed her upper arms like she was cold despite the porch thermometer complaining it was way too hot for the time of year. “It was never like it is now. Back then you’d just get your seat popped at the end of the week for every infraction that was kept track of. It wasn’t nasty like it is now. Something happened out west, No one talks about it. I was little when he left but I remember that night. He was saying that the women in the family were going to turn into whores and take the family to hell if the men didn’t start standing up to it.”
“Let me guess, he got caught doing something he shouldn’t and blamed a woman.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think so. Grandfather kept him on a tight leash back then instead of the other way around like it is now. But there was something like that that happened. Some preacher that Uncle Terrance followed got caught in an affair and it was a real scandal and he acted like it was his heart that was broken.”
Chapter 99 (Part 2)
The more she is allowed to talk about the situation without being looked at like she was to blame for some of it, the better she is getting. I don’t think she’ll ever be who she used to be, too much life has happened to her, but I’m praying she can at least stop being so jumpy around the others. It’s not healthy and visions of what happened to Delly sometimes dances in my head with all her blood pressure problems.
Huely is another story. He works with Sawyer and Tommy on most days, sometimes with Davis and Uncle Mark, trying to earn enough shares for him and Barbara … and now the baby. You hardly ever hear him talk unless forced to or if someone pushes the wrong button and he takes it as a threat against Barbara. That’s worrying to me. Still waters run deep is one way of saying it. Worrying he is going to turn into a powder keg if he doesn’t bleed some of the bad off is another.
Hard times are the making of some people or so it seems, but hard times also turns some people unnecessarily and deeply crazy. It isn’t the radio or the government telling me that, all I have to do is looking around in my life … all the way back to the beginning of it. I’m hoping that with time Huely and Barbara both can be healed of the bad things.
Every other day or so Barbara comes here and we work together whether any of the other aunts or wives are here or not.
“I’m telling you Barbara, you need to stop worrying it to pieces. I’m grateful for the help. I’m so far behind I can see my own tail without turning around.”
She sighed. “Linda said not to worry about what the others say but … I know I deserve it.”
“Oh yeah? Well what about how some of them have acted … are acting. Whatever happened is in the past and you’ve gone through … stuff … that has caused you to re-examine a few things. A few of them need to do a little examining, especially in the area of hypocrisy. It isn’t like they’ve got a license in perfection, none of us do. Just let it go. You’ve got other things to focus on.”
She didn’t exactly smile but some of the tension left her face. “I’m really sorry about … about Burt Jr. and Jolene, saying what Huely and I said and thought.” A look of pain crossed her face.
“You weren’t the only ones. And it’s over.” Thinking I finally said, “You know that old saying that Brother Don uses? The one where he says there is no profit in digging up bones? Well, this is sorta the same thing. Let’s bury the bones and leave ‘em buried. Learning from the past is one thing. Always looking back at it is another and definitely not healthy.”
She hasn’t exactly totally given in, but she at least seems to let it go for a bit as we discuss all that we’ve managed to accomplish here at the tail end of June and make plans for the coming months. We’ve made a good amount of Elder Flower Syrup and still didn’t manage to strip the elderberry bushes so bare there wouldn’t be berries down the road. I also turned my hand to something only the men have done in the past. It cost some sugar that I could have used for something else but Sawyer, Tommy, and Huely have taken a page out of something Burt Sr. had done a few times and they “re-claimed” an abandoned semi-trailer. It had been left near Burt’s old warehouse and the new owner had called us to claim it not realizing what all it held. He just wanted it gone because it had been ticketed and if it wasn’t gone in 24 hours he was going to be fined because it was blocking the right of way.
Sawyer’s commercial license is still good, and he was able to move the trailer using one of the farm’s tractor trailers that is normally used to take grains to the mill. Or sorta kinda move it anyway. One of the rear axles on the trailer would freeze up every couple of miles if you went over a certain speed and it had already taken out two of the back tires on one side. That seemed to be the primary reason it was abandoned on the side of the road. There was no paperwork with the trailer and the tag had been stolen so identifying who it belonged to was impossible.
They had to run it with only one tire on each side in the back and take it ridiculous slow to get the trailer up to the ridge and then settled on our place. We’re going to use it for temporary storage – for now – while our barn gets emptied. After we emptied the trailer and split what was found four ways … a quarter to us, a quarter to Huely (that nearly dropped his teeth when he found out), a quarter to Tommy who was nearly in the same shape as Huely over it, and then a quarter went to Uncle Mark to safeguard for taking care of the older folks in the family in return for use of the truck.
We have a main support beam in the barn damaged by carpenter bees. The damage isn’t catastrophic yet, but Sawyer wants it repaired before the damage goes any further. There’s also some cosmetic damage by termites that was painted over rather than replaced properly. I nearly fell through the wall when I leaned on it taking a break. There was a section that was little more than paper that looked like solid wood. Nearly scared me to death. Didn’t do poor Huely much good when he witnessed it. He thought Sawyer would blame him. That’s what I mean about Huely. His self-confidence and self-esteem is shot all to pieces. Sawyer remembers the feeling and is trying to share with Huely how to drag himself up and out of that hole life threw him down in.
Today Barbara and I gathered Nettle among other things. We canned up a bunch, and then I had her, Huely, and Uncle Mark to stay for supper where we served Nettle and Potato soup[1], Cattail Rice[2] covered in wild mushroom gravy[3], mushroom sausage[4] for the “meat”, and for dessert I made a yellow cake with mashed up and sweetened feral cherries spooned over the top.
“I suppose you want a thank you,” Uncle Mark said, but he said it with a smile letting me know in his own cantankerous way that he was well pleased with the meal. He got suspicious however when I started giggling. He had reason. When he wasn’t looking Sawyer and Huely put a small package wrapped in butcher paper by his plate. When he saw it he asked, “What’s this?”
Everyone at the table just grinned. He picked it up and he smelled it before it got to his face. In disbelief he said, “Uh uh. Is this what I think it is?”
They left the talking to me. “If you think it is thick sliced bologna it is.”
“Where in the sam hill …?! And do I want to know how?!” he yelped as he looked around at all of us, finally settling his worried suspicions on me which only made my giggles get worse.
Well, it goes something like this. The Bait-and-Tackle shut down its deli counter because they couldn’t sell things for what they had to pay for them. And yes, food is that sky high and getting scarce in some quarters. Someone has a big mouth and shared about my “hobby” and the owner of the place wouldn’t let up on the family until Sawyer carted me down and his wife talked to me about some of my recipes. She also wanted my recipes for all the different pickled eggs I’ve made. They are taking in trade so that people can do things like buy fuel and other things they still stock, but it is getting cumbersome to follow all the rules the government has set, even on those items not covered by rationing which includes wild forage and certain raw dairy items since you can’t sell raw dairy to the public.
“Well some of that should be easy to fix,” I made the mistake of volunteering. I then showed her how I went online and would plug things into this website I found that gave the nutritional content and calories of the various ingredients I use.
I added, “And before you think I’m crazy on purpose, or fond of wasting time, I have to do it because those county people started making noise about rescinding the guardianship of Burt and Jolene because someone called and complained about what they ate.”
“Who on earth would do such a thing,” she asked, nearly as scandalized as the family had been.
“If I had to guess it was one of Burt’s teachers that I kinda ratted out for some of the inappropriate personal things he was sharing during zoom classes.”
“But the school year is over with.”
“Just means some people have more time on their hands than they should. Thank goodness they’ve redrawn the school district lines and because of overcrowding and cost of fuel to run the busses up this way they are encouraging those that can to pull their kids and home school them and get set to do so before the new school year starts. We’re going to have to jump through a lot of hoops there too, but it will at least be better than the zoom school.”
“What kinda hoops?”
“More work than it used to be apparently, but not impossible. We have to provide a lesson plan, a list of educational resources used, the number of days we do school and how many hours (just the dumbest thing they are asking for), a list of books read, there has to be at least one major project per subject that has to be documented and turned in at the end of the year. We have to keep dated weekly samples of their work. A list of what they’re calling appropriate social activities and field trips. At the end of the year we have to write up what looks like a doctoral thesis on each subject and the pros and cons of how the year went. And we have to keep a running quarterly transcript that amounts to them having a report card, and how we come up with the grades, that we have to turn into the school district as well. And for all that we’d still rather home school Burt than suffer through another lousy year with Zoom School.”
She got real thoughtful, asked for the local home education program contact person I’d gotten the requirements from and forms to fill out that the county demanded, and then got back to the food business.
“I’m thinking I’ve got a proposition for you. I wanna make all this a legitimate business expense for tax purposes and what will you take for looking up and citing your homemade recipes and the like for me?”
Kinda joking I asked, “If you’re serious, could you please point me in the direction of who still has and would trade for some thick sliced bologna?”
Knowing Uncle Mark for years she laughed with me. Then she looked around and in a quieter voice answered, “Truth is I just took a log of homemade bologna in from the Mennonites.” She shook her head. “It’s a shame but people outside their Meeting House will hardly trade with them for some reason. They needed a gear for their hay tedder and my brother-in-law was able to fabricate one for them. Tell you what, I’ll slice some thick for you and you take it to Mark. You help me with this other problem I’ve got and maybe Mark … or Sawyer … can help Mr. Bergen with his problem. Win-win for all of us.”
[1] Nettle Soup with Potato | Recipes from Nash's Organic Produce
[2] Cattail Rice Recipe
[3] Wild Mushroom Gravy Recipe - Modern Forager
[4] Mushroom Recipe - Mushroom Sausage (Vegan)
The more she is allowed to talk about the situation without being looked at like she was to blame for some of it, the better she is getting. I don’t think she’ll ever be who she used to be, too much life has happened to her, but I’m praying she can at least stop being so jumpy around the others. It’s not healthy and visions of what happened to Delly sometimes dances in my head with all her blood pressure problems.
Huely is another story. He works with Sawyer and Tommy on most days, sometimes with Davis and Uncle Mark, trying to earn enough shares for him and Barbara … and now the baby. You hardly ever hear him talk unless forced to or if someone pushes the wrong button and he takes it as a threat against Barbara. That’s worrying to me. Still waters run deep is one way of saying it. Worrying he is going to turn into a powder keg if he doesn’t bleed some of the bad off is another.
Hard times are the making of some people or so it seems, but hard times also turns some people unnecessarily and deeply crazy. It isn’t the radio or the government telling me that, all I have to do is looking around in my life … all the way back to the beginning of it. I’m hoping that with time Huely and Barbara both can be healed of the bad things.
Every other day or so Barbara comes here and we work together whether any of the other aunts or wives are here or not.
“I’m telling you Barbara, you need to stop worrying it to pieces. I’m grateful for the help. I’m so far behind I can see my own tail without turning around.”
She sighed. “Linda said not to worry about what the others say but … I know I deserve it.”
“Oh yeah? Well what about how some of them have acted … are acting. Whatever happened is in the past and you’ve gone through … stuff … that has caused you to re-examine a few things. A few of them need to do a little examining, especially in the area of hypocrisy. It isn’t like they’ve got a license in perfection, none of us do. Just let it go. You’ve got other things to focus on.”
She didn’t exactly smile but some of the tension left her face. “I’m really sorry about … about Burt Jr. and Jolene, saying what Huely and I said and thought.” A look of pain crossed her face.
“You weren’t the only ones. And it’s over.” Thinking I finally said, “You know that old saying that Brother Don uses? The one where he says there is no profit in digging up bones? Well, this is sorta the same thing. Let’s bury the bones and leave ‘em buried. Learning from the past is one thing. Always looking back at it is another and definitely not healthy.”
She hasn’t exactly totally given in, but she at least seems to let it go for a bit as we discuss all that we’ve managed to accomplish here at the tail end of June and make plans for the coming months. We’ve made a good amount of Elder Flower Syrup and still didn’t manage to strip the elderberry bushes so bare there wouldn’t be berries down the road. I also turned my hand to something only the men have done in the past. It cost some sugar that I could have used for something else but Sawyer, Tommy, and Huely have taken a page out of something Burt Sr. had done a few times and they “re-claimed” an abandoned semi-trailer. It had been left near Burt’s old warehouse and the new owner had called us to claim it not realizing what all it held. He just wanted it gone because it had been ticketed and if it wasn’t gone in 24 hours he was going to be fined because it was blocking the right of way.
Sawyer’s commercial license is still good, and he was able to move the trailer using one of the farm’s tractor trailers that is normally used to take grains to the mill. Or sorta kinda move it anyway. One of the rear axles on the trailer would freeze up every couple of miles if you went over a certain speed and it had already taken out two of the back tires on one side. That seemed to be the primary reason it was abandoned on the side of the road. There was no paperwork with the trailer and the tag had been stolen so identifying who it belonged to was impossible.
They had to run it with only one tire on each side in the back and take it ridiculous slow to get the trailer up to the ridge and then settled on our place. We’re going to use it for temporary storage – for now – while our barn gets emptied. After we emptied the trailer and split what was found four ways … a quarter to us, a quarter to Huely (that nearly dropped his teeth when he found out), a quarter to Tommy who was nearly in the same shape as Huely over it, and then a quarter went to Uncle Mark to safeguard for taking care of the older folks in the family in return for use of the truck.
We have a main support beam in the barn damaged by carpenter bees. The damage isn’t catastrophic yet, but Sawyer wants it repaired before the damage goes any further. There’s also some cosmetic damage by termites that was painted over rather than replaced properly. I nearly fell through the wall when I leaned on it taking a break. There was a section that was little more than paper that looked like solid wood. Nearly scared me to death. Didn’t do poor Huely much good when he witnessed it. He thought Sawyer would blame him. That’s what I mean about Huely. His self-confidence and self-esteem is shot all to pieces. Sawyer remembers the feeling and is trying to share with Huely how to drag himself up and out of that hole life threw him down in.
Today Barbara and I gathered Nettle among other things. We canned up a bunch, and then I had her, Huely, and Uncle Mark to stay for supper where we served Nettle and Potato soup[1], Cattail Rice[2] covered in wild mushroom gravy[3], mushroom sausage[4] for the “meat”, and for dessert I made a yellow cake with mashed up and sweetened feral cherries spooned over the top.
“I suppose you want a thank you,” Uncle Mark said, but he said it with a smile letting me know in his own cantankerous way that he was well pleased with the meal. He got suspicious however when I started giggling. He had reason. When he wasn’t looking Sawyer and Huely put a small package wrapped in butcher paper by his plate. When he saw it he asked, “What’s this?”
Everyone at the table just grinned. He picked it up and he smelled it before it got to his face. In disbelief he said, “Uh uh. Is this what I think it is?”
They left the talking to me. “If you think it is thick sliced bologna it is.”
“Where in the sam hill …?! And do I want to know how?!” he yelped as he looked around at all of us, finally settling his worried suspicions on me which only made my giggles get worse.
Well, it goes something like this. The Bait-and-Tackle shut down its deli counter because they couldn’t sell things for what they had to pay for them. And yes, food is that sky high and getting scarce in some quarters. Someone has a big mouth and shared about my “hobby” and the owner of the place wouldn’t let up on the family until Sawyer carted me down and his wife talked to me about some of my recipes. She also wanted my recipes for all the different pickled eggs I’ve made. They are taking in trade so that people can do things like buy fuel and other things they still stock, but it is getting cumbersome to follow all the rules the government has set, even on those items not covered by rationing which includes wild forage and certain raw dairy items since you can’t sell raw dairy to the public.
“Well some of that should be easy to fix,” I made the mistake of volunteering. I then showed her how I went online and would plug things into this website I found that gave the nutritional content and calories of the various ingredients I use.
I added, “And before you think I’m crazy on purpose, or fond of wasting time, I have to do it because those county people started making noise about rescinding the guardianship of Burt and Jolene because someone called and complained about what they ate.”
“Who on earth would do such a thing,” she asked, nearly as scandalized as the family had been.
“If I had to guess it was one of Burt’s teachers that I kinda ratted out for some of the inappropriate personal things he was sharing during zoom classes.”
“But the school year is over with.”
“Just means some people have more time on their hands than they should. Thank goodness they’ve redrawn the school district lines and because of overcrowding and cost of fuel to run the busses up this way they are encouraging those that can to pull their kids and home school them and get set to do so before the new school year starts. We’re going to have to jump through a lot of hoops there too, but it will at least be better than the zoom school.”
“What kinda hoops?”
“More work than it used to be apparently, but not impossible. We have to provide a lesson plan, a list of educational resources used, the number of days we do school and how many hours (just the dumbest thing they are asking for), a list of books read, there has to be at least one major project per subject that has to be documented and turned in at the end of the year. We have to keep dated weekly samples of their work. A list of what they’re calling appropriate social activities and field trips. At the end of the year we have to write up what looks like a doctoral thesis on each subject and the pros and cons of how the year went. And we have to keep a running quarterly transcript that amounts to them having a report card, and how we come up with the grades, that we have to turn into the school district as well. And for all that we’d still rather home school Burt than suffer through another lousy year with Zoom School.”
She got real thoughtful, asked for the local home education program contact person I’d gotten the requirements from and forms to fill out that the county demanded, and then got back to the food business.
“I’m thinking I’ve got a proposition for you. I wanna make all this a legitimate business expense for tax purposes and what will you take for looking up and citing your homemade recipes and the like for me?”
Kinda joking I asked, “If you’re serious, could you please point me in the direction of who still has and would trade for some thick sliced bologna?”
Knowing Uncle Mark for years she laughed with me. Then she looked around and in a quieter voice answered, “Truth is I just took a log of homemade bologna in from the Mennonites.” She shook her head. “It’s a shame but people outside their Meeting House will hardly trade with them for some reason. They needed a gear for their hay tedder and my brother-in-law was able to fabricate one for them. Tell you what, I’ll slice some thick for you and you take it to Mark. You help me with this other problem I’ve got and maybe Mark … or Sawyer … can help Mr. Bergen with his problem. Win-win for all of us.”
[1] Nettle Soup with Potato | Recipes from Nash's Organic Produce
[2] Cattail Rice Recipe
[3] Wild Mushroom Gravy Recipe - Modern Forager
[4] Mushroom Recipe - Mushroom Sausage (Vegan)
sssarawolf
Has No Life - Lives on TB
Another big thank you.
Jeepcats27
Senior Member
Thank you, nice surprise!
Thanks Kathy!
Barb's uncle is making the mistake a lot of the people in this world is making. Trying to fight a spiritual battle with physical means. And looking at this and seeing who is wanting to "kill, steal, and destroy" (John 10:10) you see whose side they really are on.
Barb's uncle is making the mistake a lot of the people in this world is making. Trying to fight a spiritual battle with physical means. And looking at this and seeing who is wanting to "kill, steal, and destroy" (John 10:10) you see whose side they really are on.
Chapter 100
Barbara and I left the men in the dining room gossiping about the various families in the area and how maybe we could advance some of the trading we are doing while keeping it under the radar. And yes, I call it gossiping. They might not call it that, but it is about the same as the aunts and wives get to doing on canning days … and even not on canning days to be honest. We retreated to the kitchen and both of us looked around in satisfaction at the work we’d accomplished.
Yesterday we got a little carried away cleaning some of the mulberry trees. We wound up with so many I worried some would rurn before we could get them processed. We solved most of that by turning about half of what we brought in into juice[1] and as the trees continue to produce, we’ll do more of that, but today we got done all we could otherwise. Lavender Mulberry Jam with Honey[2], jam[3], jelly, mulberry lemonade concentrate, and last but not least we set some aside so that Huely could make some Mulberry Soda[4] and Mulberry Mead[5]. There is such a bumper crop of mulberries we are both going through all our notes and contacts on what to do with them besides having mulberry pie at every opportunity though I’m thinking of making some fried pies to do that with to send to the field as our donation to keep the husbands fueled.
We made quite a bit of mushroom jerky[6], canned up some mushroom broth[7], and canned mushrooms as-is for later use. We did up a few batches of greenbriar[8] tips though I gotta admit they look a little bit like aliens in the jars. We didn’t get to them today, but I’ve got a five gallon bucket of serviceberries sitting in the chest freezer … we’ve had power five days running so it is actually cold in there … so we plan on doing them over the next couple of days. There’s a five-gallon bucket of feral cherries in the freezer as well – minus what we used for dinner.
Barbara said, “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Why … I mean … look, tell me it is none of my business but why don’t you do more of the wild forage on those days all the women are here?”
“Mostly because last year they complained and made fun of me. Or some of them turned their noses up at things that didn’t come out of the domesticated fruit and produce we had.”
She looked at me and then said, “We gave you a hard time. In hindsight I’m glad you didn’t hear some of the things that were said.”
“Trust me, I’ve heard them my whole life. Starting and ending with people wondering if my brain is as crippled as my body.”
She gave a chuckle before saying, “No one thinks that anymore. I don’t know what I would do if …”
“Not that again,” I told her giving her a one-armed hug that startled her. “I’ll tell you as often as you need to hear it, ‘cause it is true. I don’t know what I would do without your help. Linda and Jeannie just can’t this time around. Aunt Pearl has them running lickety split all the time all over the place and then Jeannie has the baby as well. I’ll admit that … though maybe I shouldn’t … that I wish people would have given Sawyer more help while I was down sick.”
“For my part, and it’s no excuse, I was so wound up in my own problems I didn’t know how sick you were. It wasn’t until we couldn’t have canning days here that most of us realized you had a heck of a lot more than a cold or the flu. I’m sorry that …”
“You know you are going to sorry yourself into an early grave. You’re here now and that’s what counts. You and Huely both. As grateful as I am for you to be here, I’m grateful that Huely has been working with Sawyer. Huely has been through the fire outside and inside the family, same as Sawyer. He understands things better than some of the other cousins that … well that just don’t have the experience to understand the why of things like they need to.”
I turned and there stood Huely half in and out of the doorway running from white to fire engine red and back again on every bit of skin that showed. Trying to fix things I said, “Sorry Huely, I was running my mouth. But I do mean it.”
He swallowed a couple of times, stayed nearly red as a beet, then nodded. But at least he was able to look me in the eyes when he did it. Something he hasn’t been doing much of. He asked Barbara if she was ready to go. She was and so was Uncle Mark. While he and Sawyer had a last few words to say on the front porch I made sure the last few dishes were cleaned and put away. Having company for supper was fun, but it made more work for me and that’s a fact.
Burt strolled into the kitchen. I blinked when I saw he had Jolene’s carrier on and Jolene in it. “Was she kicking up a fuss?”
“No ma’am. Jolene is a good baby. I just didn’t want her to get lonesome upstairs.”
“Is that a fact?”
He nodded. “May I walk around downstairs with her now that everyone is gone? I won’t go fast and I’ll be careful.”
“All right. If you tell me what’s bothering you.”
He made a face realizing he’d gotten caught. Sighing he said, “They’re … different.”
“They who?”
“Huely and Barbara. I … I can’t be mad at ‘em no more.”
“Any more.” I corrected before adding, “Things happen to people, and it changes them or it gives them a chance to change. I think it is a little bit of both in this case. They were really hurt by what happened with Barbara’s family. Just give them time to … to find some balance. And don’t waste time on emotions like anger and whatever else you are feeling if it is going to weigh you down like this. You’ll get sick.”
“As sick as Sissy is?”
I nearly dropped the glass I was putting away in the cabinet.
“Honey … Rissa is a different kind of sick. Her brain isn’t working properly. You want me to get your Uncle Sawyer?”
“No ma’am. He always gets so sad about not being able to fix Sissy. But he shouldn’t. Momma and Dad couldn’t fix Sissy either. I’m not going to get sick like her am I? Or … or Jolene?”
Ah ha, something set him off. I wondered what it was … or who.
“Has someone said anything?”
“Them people that came out here and snooped around the house saying stupid stuff when you had to let them ask me questions by myself here in the kitchen.”
Oh no. The county inspectors. “What did they say that upset you?”
“Well just stupid stuff like if I liked the food I was eating and what all I did during the day and if I touched knives or guns and stuff. I told them no about that even though Uncle Sawyer is teaching me. That’s no one’s business.”
“It certainly isn’t but … try not and lie. It isn’t a good habit to get into and will eventually trip you up. Was there anything else?”
“They wanted to know about Sissy and if I was scared I was going to get sick like her or what did I think would happen if Jolene got sick like that.”
I could feel my hair catching on fire right then and there, but I knew I’d need to handle this carefully.
[1] How to Make Mulberry Juice - It's good! | Blind Pig and The Acorn
[2] Mulberry Lavender Jam with Honey
[3] 20 Best Mulberry Recipes
[4] Mulberry Maple Rose Italian Cream Sodas | Sumptuous Spoonfuls
[5] Mulberry Mead Recipe - My Fermented Foods
[6] The Best Homemade Mushroom Jerky Recipe
[7] PRESSURE CANNED MUSHROOM STOCK
[8] Greenbriar
Barbara and I left the men in the dining room gossiping about the various families in the area and how maybe we could advance some of the trading we are doing while keeping it under the radar. And yes, I call it gossiping. They might not call it that, but it is about the same as the aunts and wives get to doing on canning days … and even not on canning days to be honest. We retreated to the kitchen and both of us looked around in satisfaction at the work we’d accomplished.
Yesterday we got a little carried away cleaning some of the mulberry trees. We wound up with so many I worried some would rurn before we could get them processed. We solved most of that by turning about half of what we brought in into juice[1] and as the trees continue to produce, we’ll do more of that, but today we got done all we could otherwise. Lavender Mulberry Jam with Honey[2], jam[3], jelly, mulberry lemonade concentrate, and last but not least we set some aside so that Huely could make some Mulberry Soda[4] and Mulberry Mead[5]. There is such a bumper crop of mulberries we are both going through all our notes and contacts on what to do with them besides having mulberry pie at every opportunity though I’m thinking of making some fried pies to do that with to send to the field as our donation to keep the husbands fueled.
We made quite a bit of mushroom jerky[6], canned up some mushroom broth[7], and canned mushrooms as-is for later use. We did up a few batches of greenbriar[8] tips though I gotta admit they look a little bit like aliens in the jars. We didn’t get to them today, but I’ve got a five gallon bucket of serviceberries sitting in the chest freezer … we’ve had power five days running so it is actually cold in there … so we plan on doing them over the next couple of days. There’s a five-gallon bucket of feral cherries in the freezer as well – minus what we used for dinner.
Barbara said, “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Why … I mean … look, tell me it is none of my business but why don’t you do more of the wild forage on those days all the women are here?”
“Mostly because last year they complained and made fun of me. Or some of them turned their noses up at things that didn’t come out of the domesticated fruit and produce we had.”
She looked at me and then said, “We gave you a hard time. In hindsight I’m glad you didn’t hear some of the things that were said.”
“Trust me, I’ve heard them my whole life. Starting and ending with people wondering if my brain is as crippled as my body.”
She gave a chuckle before saying, “No one thinks that anymore. I don’t know what I would do if …”
“Not that again,” I told her giving her a one-armed hug that startled her. “I’ll tell you as often as you need to hear it, ‘cause it is true. I don’t know what I would do without your help. Linda and Jeannie just can’t this time around. Aunt Pearl has them running lickety split all the time all over the place and then Jeannie has the baby as well. I’ll admit that … though maybe I shouldn’t … that I wish people would have given Sawyer more help while I was down sick.”
“For my part, and it’s no excuse, I was so wound up in my own problems I didn’t know how sick you were. It wasn’t until we couldn’t have canning days here that most of us realized you had a heck of a lot more than a cold or the flu. I’m sorry that …”
“You know you are going to sorry yourself into an early grave. You’re here now and that’s what counts. You and Huely both. As grateful as I am for you to be here, I’m grateful that Huely has been working with Sawyer. Huely has been through the fire outside and inside the family, same as Sawyer. He understands things better than some of the other cousins that … well that just don’t have the experience to understand the why of things like they need to.”
I turned and there stood Huely half in and out of the doorway running from white to fire engine red and back again on every bit of skin that showed. Trying to fix things I said, “Sorry Huely, I was running my mouth. But I do mean it.”
He swallowed a couple of times, stayed nearly red as a beet, then nodded. But at least he was able to look me in the eyes when he did it. Something he hasn’t been doing much of. He asked Barbara if she was ready to go. She was and so was Uncle Mark. While he and Sawyer had a last few words to say on the front porch I made sure the last few dishes were cleaned and put away. Having company for supper was fun, but it made more work for me and that’s a fact.
Burt strolled into the kitchen. I blinked when I saw he had Jolene’s carrier on and Jolene in it. “Was she kicking up a fuss?”
“No ma’am. Jolene is a good baby. I just didn’t want her to get lonesome upstairs.”
“Is that a fact?”
He nodded. “May I walk around downstairs with her now that everyone is gone? I won’t go fast and I’ll be careful.”
“All right. If you tell me what’s bothering you.”
He made a face realizing he’d gotten caught. Sighing he said, “They’re … different.”
“They who?”
“Huely and Barbara. I … I can’t be mad at ‘em no more.”
“Any more.” I corrected before adding, “Things happen to people, and it changes them or it gives them a chance to change. I think it is a little bit of both in this case. They were really hurt by what happened with Barbara’s family. Just give them time to … to find some balance. And don’t waste time on emotions like anger and whatever else you are feeling if it is going to weigh you down like this. You’ll get sick.”
“As sick as Sissy is?”
I nearly dropped the glass I was putting away in the cabinet.
“Honey … Rissa is a different kind of sick. Her brain isn’t working properly. You want me to get your Uncle Sawyer?”
“No ma’am. He always gets so sad about not being able to fix Sissy. But he shouldn’t. Momma and Dad couldn’t fix Sissy either. I’m not going to get sick like her am I? Or … or Jolene?”
Ah ha, something set him off. I wondered what it was … or who.
“Has someone said anything?”
“Them people that came out here and snooped around the house saying stupid stuff when you had to let them ask me questions by myself here in the kitchen.”
Oh no. The county inspectors. “What did they say that upset you?”
“Well just stupid stuff like if I liked the food I was eating and what all I did during the day and if I touched knives or guns and stuff. I told them no about that even though Uncle Sawyer is teaching me. That’s no one’s business.”
“It certainly isn’t but … try not and lie. It isn’t a good habit to get into and will eventually trip you up. Was there anything else?”
“They wanted to know about Sissy and if I was scared I was going to get sick like her or what did I think would happen if Jolene got sick like that.”
I could feel my hair catching on fire right then and there, but I knew I’d need to handle this carefully.
[1] How to Make Mulberry Juice - It's good! | Blind Pig and The Acorn
[2] Mulberry Lavender Jam with Honey
[3] 20 Best Mulberry Recipes
[4] Mulberry Maple Rose Italian Cream Sodas | Sumptuous Spoonfuls
[5] Mulberry Mead Recipe - My Fermented Foods
[6] The Best Homemade Mushroom Jerky Recipe
[7] PRESSURE CANNED MUSHROOM STOCK
[8] Greenbriar
Sandcastle76
Senior Member
Thanks… you n that guy “Cliff” sure do like “hanging out” together…lol
You are always welcome to post on my board.
Jeepcats27
Senior Member
Great! more recipes to investigate! Thank you! Anything happening with Dr C?
Sammy55
Veteran Member
Super chapter! Kay-Lee, more than anyone in the family, will know how the county works, what the dangers are, and maybe how to nip it in the bud.
Speaking of nipping, I've got to get busy and start looking up more info what kinds of wild plants in my area are edible and how to use them, what recipes there are, etc. I've got some books and some info, but I'd better get busy getting more...just in case the lights go out. And I've got to make plans on how to find some of these plants this spring and to start experimenting with recipes. Your books really give me hope and ideas and recipes and the "push" to do it, and I thoroughly thank you for that!!
Speaking of nipping, I've got to get busy and start looking up more info what kinds of wild plants in my area are edible and how to use them, what recipes there are, etc. I've got some books and some info, but I'd better get busy getting more...just in case the lights go out. And I've got to make plans on how to find some of these plants this spring and to start experimenting with recipes. Your books really give me hope and ideas and recipes and the "push" to do it, and I thoroughly thank you for that!!
Chapter 101
I pulled out my step stool with the handrail on one side that Sawyer had fixed for me and pointed to it so that Burt could sit down without having to put Jolene down.
“Burt, we aren’t lying to you about what the doctors have said about Rissa.”
“I know. Uncle Sawyer explains it to me every time y’all get a letter or call, even when I don’t always want to hear about it.”
“You don’t want to know?”
He shrugged. “Sometimes yes. Sometimes no. Just … you don’t think I’m gonna get sick like her do you? Or … or that Jolene will?” I could hear the real worry in the question.
“No. The doctors have …” I sighed and pulled a chair over and sat down. “You know that your Uncle Mason is …”
Matter of factly Burt said, “He’s sick too.”
“Yes, kinda two different kinds of sick though. He’s all eat up with guilt and regrets and depression for a lot of things he’s done and then the results of people who used him as an excuse to act bad. But even with that part, Mason isn’t as sick as Rissa is. The doctors at Rissa’s new home and the doctors taking care of your Uncle Mason have talked and compared notes and for whatever reason, after they talked to each other, they talked to us because apparently they felt it was our business since we are on record as next-of-kin.” They also wanted what they called a “baseline” to start their theories off with but I wasn’t going to try and explain that to Burt, the rest of it was hard enough as it is.
“Is that the reason we had to go to that place and get pictures of the insides of our heads while you were sick and had to stay home? Even Uncle Sawyer did it.”
“Yes. Do you know what hereditary means?”
“Sorta. Like how everybody laughs at Aunt Lurlene’s stupid goats that pass out and fall over all stiff if you scare them? They got born with stuff from the mommy and daddy goats but not all the baby goats are born that way?”
“Pretty close. Well it looks like there is some kind of hereditary factor on the Penny side of your family. I’m going to try and explain it to you but, don’t get upset if you don’t understand it all the way right now. Your Uncle Sawyer and I are still trying to figure out what the doctors are saying and what it is going to mean for Rissa and Mason.”
He nodded and I did my best to explain. “There is a piece of their brain that isn’t working right, and part that doesn’t look like it ever will. That piece is where these things called receptors are. The receptors are where chemicals in their brain can plug in so their brain can tell them how to act. That’s as close to explaining that part as I can get right now.”
He nodded again. “Like my Legos. The blocks stick together.”
The boy was smart I’ll give him that. “Yeah. Or plugs on the walls. How Uncle Sawyer explained to us that the plug for the dryer only fits in a certain kind of electrical receptacle and that plug can’t be used for other things like lamps. Well the chemicals people’s brains use are the same way. Different chemicals have different jobs and only fit in certain plugs or receptors in the brain.”
“Oh. I … see. I think.”
“Your Uncle Mason and Rissa don’t just have a problem making the chemicals for plugging into those receptors. If that was the problem, they could take medicine for that. It is the receptors … the place where the chemicals plug in at … that are broken and don’t work. And it isn’t just that a lot of their receptors are broken; a different kind of medicine might help with that too. They do have some working receptors, just not enough, and because of some other things, those that do work are slowly, over time turning off so there are fewer and fewer of them that work correctly. Got me so far?”
“Sorta.”
I nodded. “That’s okay. You want me to tell you more?”
“Just about if me and Jolene will get sick like that.”
I tried to be gentle because there was good news and bad news and I was irritated we hadn’t explained it to him before now. “The answer to that question is no, neither you nor Jolene will get sick like Rissa. Rissa and your Uncle Mason were born with this problem, you and Jolene weren’t. The doctors say you and Jolene won’t even be able to pass it along to any kids you might have when you grow up. Your parents lucked out. You and Jolene don’t have the dominant or recessive characteristics of this illness. Your Uncle Mason had the recessive kind that was there but wasn’t really a problem; but, he activated it with his drug use. Rissa was born with the dominant characteristics and she was never going to be able to ignore what is happening in her brain.”
He made a face of distaste but asked, “You mean if we have kids they won’t be like Rissa?”
“No. But …” I tried to decide how to phrase it while still telling him the truth. “The thing is Burt, Rissa, who has it real bad, likely won’t be allowed to have kids to pass it along to. And … your Uncle Mason is going to go back into prison if he is able to get out of that hospital he is in which means he’s not really going to have any opportunity to have kids.”
“How come Sissy isn’t going to … you know. I know that place she lives won’t let her have boyfriends and stuff but Momma and Dad were always worried about her having a baby and not being married. It is why she was going to a woman doctor and getting shots that she made an awful fuss about.”
Sigh. Truth was better than lies but it was awful that Burt would have to learn these kinds of truths at his age. “Because she’s sick in a way that … that she’s not likely to get well and might get worse at some point. The doctors are going to fix things because she doesn’t really know or understand what she is doing and isn’t ever going to be mentally competent enough to make decisions about having kids, much less actually have kids. She’s not going to be allowed to have them Honey.”
“Like when Uncle Ben took his female hunting dog to the vet so she couldn’t have puppies because the first time she had them it almost kilt her dead?”
“Well not that exactly but yes, Rissa is going to have a procedure – after she is older and they confirm her diagnosis – so that she doesn’t have babies. And they aren’t going to give her a choice about it.”
I could tell he was debating something then he asked, “Are they going to do that to me and Jolene?”
“No.”
“But … what if.”
“There is no what if. I told you.”
“How do they know?” he asked earnestly.
“Because they took special pictures and looked at the same place in your brains like where Rissa’s and your Uncle Mason’s brains have those broken places … and the two of you don’t have them.”
Not ready to believe it he said, “But Uncle Mason isn’t like Rissa.”
Trying not to sigh I explained, “Your sister had a lot more physically wrong in that place in her brain than your Uncle Mason. He only had a mild case of it … remember me calling it recessive? Probably about like others in your family. The doctors said your father had it but none of his brain was ever broke enough that it showed. And your Uncle Mason might have gone a lifetime with no one being able to tell he had it if he hadn’t made things worse by … um … by doing bad drugs like he did. They are called this scientific word psychotropic … they do things to the brain. The drugs were like a tipping point for his brain … it was still growing and developing but the drugs he took were of the kind that meant that because he did them they made things in his brain malfunction even more than they might have otherwise done. If your Uncle Mason hadn’t done drugs and started drinking heavy, he likely never would have had the problems he now has. But for Rissa … doing drugs or not doing drugs wouldn’t change things. She has the problem real bad – it is the Dominant type – and she always would have. Had they caught it earlier they might have been able to figure something, like getting her special training and schooling and maybe some medication that would have helped a little, but she still would have had a lot of problems a pill won’t fix.”
Burt got a sad look on his face. “There’s nobody I can be mad at and make them fix things.”
“No Honey, I’m sorry but there is not. Your Uncle Mason did a lot of damage to himself and made some bad choices that made things worse than they had to be. Rissa … her situation I’m still trying to understand myself. Basically, as I understand it, she was born with part of her brain broken. It was there, but when she was a little girl it could be put down to her being spoiled or having tantrums or something else like that. When she hit puberty, and you and your Uncle Sawyer have had The Talk so you know what I’m talking about, it started to become more and more of a problem … not little girl problems anymore but more serious ones. And though everyone tried to help her, she didn’t just refuse to be helped, she couldn’t be helped in a regular way. And the more grown she gets it is real possible that the worse her brain is going to malfunction. Her doctors just aren’t sure yet if it is going to level off or get worse, but boy are they working hard to try and help her no matter which it is. That’s why they paid for the scans of you and Jolene and Uncle Sawyer and why they talk to the doctors trying to help your Uncle Mason. They really do care about Rissa, the same way the rest of us do, but hers is a difficult case.”
“And she might be sick forever?”
“She will be sick forever. She will likely not ever be able to be a grown up on her own and will always have to live in places where people keep an eye on her. But, maybe, one of these days you and she can have a good brother-sister relationship again.”
He made a face. “She never wanted me, not for a brother, not for nothing. I was just wondering if Jolene …”
“Don’t say that Burt. You are a fantastic brother, and a great big brother to Jolene. One of these days Jolene is going to be old enough to understand that. It is just going to take some time. I mean one of these days it might be where you get tired of always having to be the big brother.”
“Uh uh. Never. She just might not need me the way she does now. Aunt Dump says that I need to keep that in mind and make sure I grow up and leave some room for me. What did she mean by that?”
I need to hang warning signs on some of this family. They mean well but meaning well and doing well aren’t always the same thing. “Er … I think she meant that you need to be the best Burt you can grow up and be, not just the best big brother you can be.”
“Oh. Can I walk Jolene around now? She’s slobbering down the back of my shirt.”
“Slow and careful like you promised?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Okay. Just don’t give Princess Poot anything to chew on, including your ears or fingers. She’s turning part beaver.”
That made him laugh and they were off to the front room, probably to examine the latest interesting thing that Sawyer found in a gully or old house he is helping to deal with. At the same moment Sawyer and Uncle Mark came in the back. I looked at Sawyer and asked, “You heard?”
With a sorrowful look on his face he answered, “Yeah. I didn’t realize that was something he worried about.”
My hair wasn’t on fire, but it was still smoldering. “I doubt he did until those idiot county people put it in his head. Sawyer, I know most in the family don’t think much of the idea, but I don’t want him going to that damn zoom school this fall and I want us to finish those adoption papers. I’ll give up whatever I have to pay for it. I want them out of their lives and out of ours.”
Uncle Mark, realizing how serious I was because I didn’t normally curse, at least aloud, said, “Let me think on it some.”
“No,” I said surprising both men. “This is our business, not the family’s. I don’t need their input and don’t want them thinking they have a right to have a say in how we raise them beyond the normal. This is for Burt and Jolene … and for Sawyer … and me too I suppose. On this we need to stand on our own feet. The family can’t help us … they can only trip us up, and likely with the best of intentions while they’re doing it.”
Uncle Mark looked like he wanted to say something. I almost expected him to call me “Baffa” but he didn’t. Instead he told Sawyer, “Don’t do something precipitous. I can still make some calls and find out who in town might be the best lawyer for the job.”
I wanted to growl but didn’t because Sawyer said, “I appreciate it. Er … don’t say anything to anyone else please. Kay-Lee and I need to work this out. Too many people trying to help will bring notice that we don’t need. That no one in the family needs.”
“Understood,” Uncle Mark said, surprising me enough to give me some glue to keep my teeth together over the words that wanted to fall out.
I pulled out my step stool with the handrail on one side that Sawyer had fixed for me and pointed to it so that Burt could sit down without having to put Jolene down.
“Burt, we aren’t lying to you about what the doctors have said about Rissa.”
“I know. Uncle Sawyer explains it to me every time y’all get a letter or call, even when I don’t always want to hear about it.”
“You don’t want to know?”
He shrugged. “Sometimes yes. Sometimes no. Just … you don’t think I’m gonna get sick like her do you? Or … or that Jolene will?” I could hear the real worry in the question.
“No. The doctors have …” I sighed and pulled a chair over and sat down. “You know that your Uncle Mason is …”
Matter of factly Burt said, “He’s sick too.”
“Yes, kinda two different kinds of sick though. He’s all eat up with guilt and regrets and depression for a lot of things he’s done and then the results of people who used him as an excuse to act bad. But even with that part, Mason isn’t as sick as Rissa is. The doctors at Rissa’s new home and the doctors taking care of your Uncle Mason have talked and compared notes and for whatever reason, after they talked to each other, they talked to us because apparently they felt it was our business since we are on record as next-of-kin.” They also wanted what they called a “baseline” to start their theories off with but I wasn’t going to try and explain that to Burt, the rest of it was hard enough as it is.
“Is that the reason we had to go to that place and get pictures of the insides of our heads while you were sick and had to stay home? Even Uncle Sawyer did it.”
“Yes. Do you know what hereditary means?”
“Sorta. Like how everybody laughs at Aunt Lurlene’s stupid goats that pass out and fall over all stiff if you scare them? They got born with stuff from the mommy and daddy goats but not all the baby goats are born that way?”
“Pretty close. Well it looks like there is some kind of hereditary factor on the Penny side of your family. I’m going to try and explain it to you but, don’t get upset if you don’t understand it all the way right now. Your Uncle Sawyer and I are still trying to figure out what the doctors are saying and what it is going to mean for Rissa and Mason.”
He nodded and I did my best to explain. “There is a piece of their brain that isn’t working right, and part that doesn’t look like it ever will. That piece is where these things called receptors are. The receptors are where chemicals in their brain can plug in so their brain can tell them how to act. That’s as close to explaining that part as I can get right now.”
He nodded again. “Like my Legos. The blocks stick together.”
The boy was smart I’ll give him that. “Yeah. Or plugs on the walls. How Uncle Sawyer explained to us that the plug for the dryer only fits in a certain kind of electrical receptacle and that plug can’t be used for other things like lamps. Well the chemicals people’s brains use are the same way. Different chemicals have different jobs and only fit in certain plugs or receptors in the brain.”
“Oh. I … see. I think.”
“Your Uncle Mason and Rissa don’t just have a problem making the chemicals for plugging into those receptors. If that was the problem, they could take medicine for that. It is the receptors … the place where the chemicals plug in at … that are broken and don’t work. And it isn’t just that a lot of their receptors are broken; a different kind of medicine might help with that too. They do have some working receptors, just not enough, and because of some other things, those that do work are slowly, over time turning off so there are fewer and fewer of them that work correctly. Got me so far?”
“Sorta.”
I nodded. “That’s okay. You want me to tell you more?”
“Just about if me and Jolene will get sick like that.”
I tried to be gentle because there was good news and bad news and I was irritated we hadn’t explained it to him before now. “The answer to that question is no, neither you nor Jolene will get sick like Rissa. Rissa and your Uncle Mason were born with this problem, you and Jolene weren’t. The doctors say you and Jolene won’t even be able to pass it along to any kids you might have when you grow up. Your parents lucked out. You and Jolene don’t have the dominant or recessive characteristics of this illness. Your Uncle Mason had the recessive kind that was there but wasn’t really a problem; but, he activated it with his drug use. Rissa was born with the dominant characteristics and she was never going to be able to ignore what is happening in her brain.”
He made a face of distaste but asked, “You mean if we have kids they won’t be like Rissa?”
“No. But …” I tried to decide how to phrase it while still telling him the truth. “The thing is Burt, Rissa, who has it real bad, likely won’t be allowed to have kids to pass it along to. And … your Uncle Mason is going to go back into prison if he is able to get out of that hospital he is in which means he’s not really going to have any opportunity to have kids.”
“How come Sissy isn’t going to … you know. I know that place she lives won’t let her have boyfriends and stuff but Momma and Dad were always worried about her having a baby and not being married. It is why she was going to a woman doctor and getting shots that she made an awful fuss about.”
Sigh. Truth was better than lies but it was awful that Burt would have to learn these kinds of truths at his age. “Because she’s sick in a way that … that she’s not likely to get well and might get worse at some point. The doctors are going to fix things because she doesn’t really know or understand what she is doing and isn’t ever going to be mentally competent enough to make decisions about having kids, much less actually have kids. She’s not going to be allowed to have them Honey.”
“Like when Uncle Ben took his female hunting dog to the vet so she couldn’t have puppies because the first time she had them it almost kilt her dead?”
“Well not that exactly but yes, Rissa is going to have a procedure – after she is older and they confirm her diagnosis – so that she doesn’t have babies. And they aren’t going to give her a choice about it.”
I could tell he was debating something then he asked, “Are they going to do that to me and Jolene?”
“No.”
“But … what if.”
“There is no what if. I told you.”
“How do they know?” he asked earnestly.
“Because they took special pictures and looked at the same place in your brains like where Rissa’s and your Uncle Mason’s brains have those broken places … and the two of you don’t have them.”
Not ready to believe it he said, “But Uncle Mason isn’t like Rissa.”
Trying not to sigh I explained, “Your sister had a lot more physically wrong in that place in her brain than your Uncle Mason. He only had a mild case of it … remember me calling it recessive? Probably about like others in your family. The doctors said your father had it but none of his brain was ever broke enough that it showed. And your Uncle Mason might have gone a lifetime with no one being able to tell he had it if he hadn’t made things worse by … um … by doing bad drugs like he did. They are called this scientific word psychotropic … they do things to the brain. The drugs were like a tipping point for his brain … it was still growing and developing but the drugs he took were of the kind that meant that because he did them they made things in his brain malfunction even more than they might have otherwise done. If your Uncle Mason hadn’t done drugs and started drinking heavy, he likely never would have had the problems he now has. But for Rissa … doing drugs or not doing drugs wouldn’t change things. She has the problem real bad – it is the Dominant type – and she always would have. Had they caught it earlier they might have been able to figure something, like getting her special training and schooling and maybe some medication that would have helped a little, but she still would have had a lot of problems a pill won’t fix.”
Burt got a sad look on his face. “There’s nobody I can be mad at and make them fix things.”
“No Honey, I’m sorry but there is not. Your Uncle Mason did a lot of damage to himself and made some bad choices that made things worse than they had to be. Rissa … her situation I’m still trying to understand myself. Basically, as I understand it, she was born with part of her brain broken. It was there, but when she was a little girl it could be put down to her being spoiled or having tantrums or something else like that. When she hit puberty, and you and your Uncle Sawyer have had The Talk so you know what I’m talking about, it started to become more and more of a problem … not little girl problems anymore but more serious ones. And though everyone tried to help her, she didn’t just refuse to be helped, she couldn’t be helped in a regular way. And the more grown she gets it is real possible that the worse her brain is going to malfunction. Her doctors just aren’t sure yet if it is going to level off or get worse, but boy are they working hard to try and help her no matter which it is. That’s why they paid for the scans of you and Jolene and Uncle Sawyer and why they talk to the doctors trying to help your Uncle Mason. They really do care about Rissa, the same way the rest of us do, but hers is a difficult case.”
“And she might be sick forever?”
“She will be sick forever. She will likely not ever be able to be a grown up on her own and will always have to live in places where people keep an eye on her. But, maybe, one of these days you and she can have a good brother-sister relationship again.”
He made a face. “She never wanted me, not for a brother, not for nothing. I was just wondering if Jolene …”
“Don’t say that Burt. You are a fantastic brother, and a great big brother to Jolene. One of these days Jolene is going to be old enough to understand that. It is just going to take some time. I mean one of these days it might be where you get tired of always having to be the big brother.”
“Uh uh. Never. She just might not need me the way she does now. Aunt Dump says that I need to keep that in mind and make sure I grow up and leave some room for me. What did she mean by that?”
I need to hang warning signs on some of this family. They mean well but meaning well and doing well aren’t always the same thing. “Er … I think she meant that you need to be the best Burt you can grow up and be, not just the best big brother you can be.”
“Oh. Can I walk Jolene around now? She’s slobbering down the back of my shirt.”
“Slow and careful like you promised?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Okay. Just don’t give Princess Poot anything to chew on, including your ears or fingers. She’s turning part beaver.”
That made him laugh and they were off to the front room, probably to examine the latest interesting thing that Sawyer found in a gully or old house he is helping to deal with. At the same moment Sawyer and Uncle Mark came in the back. I looked at Sawyer and asked, “You heard?”
With a sorrowful look on his face he answered, “Yeah. I didn’t realize that was something he worried about.”
My hair wasn’t on fire, but it was still smoldering. “I doubt he did until those idiot county people put it in his head. Sawyer, I know most in the family don’t think much of the idea, but I don’t want him going to that damn zoom school this fall and I want us to finish those adoption papers. I’ll give up whatever I have to pay for it. I want them out of their lives and out of ours.”
Uncle Mark, realizing how serious I was because I didn’t normally curse, at least aloud, said, “Let me think on it some.”
“No,” I said surprising both men. “This is our business, not the family’s. I don’t need their input and don’t want them thinking they have a right to have a say in how we raise them beyond the normal. This is for Burt and Jolene … and for Sawyer … and me too I suppose. On this we need to stand on our own feet. The family can’t help us … they can only trip us up, and likely with the best of intentions while they’re doing it.”
Uncle Mark looked like he wanted to say something. I almost expected him to call me “Baffa” but he didn’t. Instead he told Sawyer, “Don’t do something precipitous. I can still make some calls and find out who in town might be the best lawyer for the job.”
I wanted to growl but didn’t because Sawyer said, “I appreciate it. Er … don’t say anything to anyone else please. Kay-Lee and I need to work this out. Too many people trying to help will bring notice that we don’t need. That no one in the family needs.”
“Understood,” Uncle Mark said, surprising me enough to give me some glue to keep my teeth together over the words that wanted to fall out.
beaglemama
Contributing Member
Thanks Kathy!!!!
Jeepcats27
Senior Member
Another chapter, yeah!
Every couple of pages it would stop and check my browser when read last couple of stories.
Griz3752
Retired, practising Curmudgeon
You're not alone there but, fortunately for us, Ms Kathy seems to be a never ending fountain of stories
Lake Lili
Veteran Member
As the parent of a teenager with a genetic deleton (and ADHD and Austism), I have dealt with a lot of overly inquisitive, outright interferring, and judgemental people from social services, though doctors to friends and family. As a single parent (in her late 30s when he was born) I dealt with a large number of people who felt that, as I did not have a husband, I was not capable of understanding or making informed decisions about raising a special needs child. He and I have had lengthy talks about his genetics and what it could mean for any furture children... I have told him only that ultimately it is a choice for him and his future wife to make and that consultation with a geneticist is a good thing to do before they marry. (By the by, he graduated last December from grade 12 and is now holding down a full-time job. All is good.)
Thanks Kathy!
Lili
Thanks Kathy!
Lili
sssarawolf
Has No Life - Lives on TB
Wonderful, thank you.
Chapter 102
Slam!!!! The sound of the cast iron skillet hitting the stop of the wood stove might have been satisfying but it only added to my headache.
“Wow.”
I jumped and turned. Linda was in the doorway of the canning kitchen. Power was off and I was trying to work despite my nerves. But rather than shocked she had a terribly understanding look on her face. I sighed, not in the mood for any of it. Sawyer wasn’t here, he was off taking care of the latest emergency and I was trying to calm myself. Yesterday had been horrible and today was worse.
“Feel better?” she asked.
“No,” I grumbled. “Now I have a headache … or a worse one than I was getting. And no, midol won’t fix this one.”
“You’re still angry about yesterday.”
I could already feel my head lighting up all over again. A thing it had done too many times in recent days. “Oh, you could say that.” Trying to save what I could I said, “I don’t want to get you in trouble so you better go back with whoever brought you. There’s no time to waste.”
“I road over with Barbara. She’s out with Huely in the grove for some reason.”
“Linda …”
“Please listen. Aunt Pearl didn’t really mean it. At least mostly not really. Neither did the other aunts. Or the wives. They are just tired and stressed and it was a shock that you and Sawyer were doing a runaround the family.”
I was getting angrier by the syllable. “One, we weren’t and aren’t doing a ‘runaround’ of the family. This isn’t something that should be put up for committee to discuss and decide for us. Do you realize how upset Burt has been after he heard some of what was said, and by whom?!”
“Kay-Lee …”
“And what about Gramps? What’s his excuse? Yeah, he wants everyone to grow up and get a life. But only so long as it is one of his permission that he gets to have a say over and control. He wants Sawyer to do the job that’s been set for him and still run and scurry to his bidding despite it interfering with him doing that job. That’s not letting us be the grown ups WE ALREADY ARE! That’s being a bigger handicap than my body is!”
“Kay-Lee! Don’t say that!”
“What? You don’t want to hear the truth either?”
Part of me felt bad to be fighting with Linda on top of all the rest of it but they weren’t the only ones that were tired, scared, worried, and sick and tired of being tired, scared, and worried.
I snapped, “They didn’t have any right or cause to say what they did. Certainly not in front of everyone like that. I get little enough respect as it is, even in my own house. I don’t need them making it worse.”
“Are … are you really telling everyone to go find somewhere else to do their canning and … and stuff?”
“If Aunt Pearl can threaten my family about being restricted … like I’m some little kid … from benefiting from the rest of the Hartford family efforts even when Sawyer works his butt off for those benefits so the rest of you all can have more of them? Yeah I am. What goes around comes around. She and Gramps and some of the others have been acting pretty doggone entitled to the use of Sawyer’s land and efforts. The fuel he makes. The wood on this land. The work he does for everyone. You know he works a couple of hours EVERY NIGHT trying to set plans that make the most for those willing to do the work to get the reward, no days off, running on fumes and a coffee bean here and there, and no one gives a flip flying flip?! And don’t give me that the uncles used to do the same thing. They didn’t do it under these circumstances for this many families!”
Trying to calm me down she said, “We’re all one family Kay-Lee.”
That made me want to scream. “Are we?! Have you forgotten how most of the wives treated us last year? How most of them still treat me? Like I’m somehow three fries short of a happy meal to their three-course gourmet meal at The Verandah?” I said referencing the restaurant that somehow stayed in business at the golf course everyone calls the country club. “I’ve taken it and taken it and taken it, trying to keep from shaming Sawyer and the few in the family that give more than just a mouse’s broken tail about me. Well I’m done taking it. I’ve survived my birth. Survived all those operations and the pain. I’ve survived the pity, the derision, the being pushed down and kept down. I’ve survived all the rest of it and gotten pretty doggone good at surviving. I’ll survive them censuring me and trying to put me in my place just like the world has. And if it comes to it I’ll drag Sawyer and the kids right along with me and teach them to survive it too. Fine, this family can do without me. Go right on ahead,” I hissed angrily. “They’re gonna learn that I can do without them because for a lot of time I’ve already had to do without them.”
“Aw Kay-Lee don’t say that. You know it ain’t true.”
“When is the last time any of you have had me over to your places? Huh? I can count on one had … as in none.”
“You coulda asked.”
“The point is I shouldn’t have had to. Everyone has treated this house like it is Hartford Central for over a year. Rain, shine, hot, cold, power or not. I’ve kept those doors open so you could. Any of you done the same for me?”
“You … you really feel that way?” she asked in a whisper.
I was breathing like I’d just had to run up the high school stairwell three times straight. I had to turn away. “Linda, I know you are being pushed and pulled all day long. I don’t expect you to make up for what life has thrown at Sawyer and me. Frankly you can’t. And I know Tommy and Huely go every bit as much as Sawyer. I know we aren’t alone in that respect … but put yourself in my place. I’m here. On my own. If it wasn’t for Barbara I don’t know what I would have done to get back on my feet and keep going after I was so sick. And she’s catching heck for doing it.” Other grievances started crowding my head. “Do you know Dr. Carruthers almost put me in the hospital a couple of times?! And where would Sawyer have been?! Do you know what we were going through with the kids at that time?! No. Because everyone assumed and no one came by and really asked.” I needed to wipe my eyes but I didn’t want to give the world something else to hold over me. “The rules are if you don’t participate you don’t get to share and I understand that because of the problems it was causing early on … but I couldn’t participate and I wasn’t asking for anything for me but it would have been nice if more than words had come to help Sawyer while I was so sick. And at other times? Let’s just drop this extra off to Kay-Lee. She doesn’t have anything better to do. She’ll do it and give it back done right, except for the tweaking her and there we’ll have to tell her about. And while she’s doing that we can get our stuff done. She doesn’t have kids to look after. She doesn’t have a house to take care of. She’s not alone with no one to even come by and say hello unless it is a canning day or we need something off their land. She’ll do it and be grateful we are letting her do it so she can be part of the family.”
I turned back around to Linda and said, “Well I might not have grown up with a family Linda, but I know that is not how you treat people you are supposed to really care about. You don’t make them work for their place, and then keep moving the bar so that they finally realize they are never going to be good enough because the only reason they supposedly care about you now that the new has worn off is because of what they can get out of you.”
“That’s not true! No one ever said that!”
“Of course no one has said it. No one had to. It is how people have been acting. It would have been more honest if the entire lot of you had just said how you really felt. It wouldn’t have been such a shock yesterday. I wouldn’t have made up these stupid dreams and excuses in my head that I really had a family that saw me and not how much of a cripple I am.” I was so mad I couldn’t stop the feelings from pouring out. “How dare you all act like I’m unfit just because Sawyer and I didn’t get your approval for the adoption. That we’ve figured out how to pay for it without having to come crawling to the rest of the family. It isn’t your decision to make. It isn’t your decision whether Sawyer and I ever have kids together either. My leg might be crippled up but I swear y’alls souls are crippled up.”
“We didn’t mean it like that! We didn’t!”
“You tell me how I’m supposed to take the nasty words that were thrown at me any … other … way. And then you all have the nerve to just look at me like I’m some demon from hell when I say that no, there won’t be a canning day here today. And no, you aren’t just going to show up and pull fruit off these trees for your own use. Remember that rule if you don’t participate you don’t share? Well I’m starting to put it into effect in this house too. People who treat me and those I care for like second class members of this family, will be considered not to be participating in the survival of us and you can just do without what we were bringing in.”
“Oh Kay-Lee, don’t!”
“Don’t what?! Don’t stand up for those that can’t or won’t stand up for themselves?! Just lay down and say yes ma’am, no ma’am, yes sir, no sir, I’ll take another kick when you have the time please?! It’s wrong Linda. It’s wrong!”
She was crying now. And I cared but when I said I was done, I was well and truly done. They’d gone too far. And we’d all be paying for it soon.
“Linda if anything any of them has done has made it so the judge doesn’t sign those adoption papers? I will flat out never forgive them. I don’t care if Brother Don stands over me in front the entire population up here on the ridge and prays out whatever y’all think is possessing me. How any of you could think, even for a second, I was trying to replace Delly … or Burt … is sick beyond words. As sick as Mason and Rissa are. Mentally damaged to the point of unfixable. How dare that get said to the county people. How DARE ANYONE SAY SUCH A GOD AWFUL AND UNTRUE THING!”
Then I laid some more out. “If none of them understand, you certainly should. The county could come in here and just take Burt and Jolene from us and we’ll never see them again. Because if they’ll take them from us, they sure aren’t going to want the rest of the crazy Hartford boys … or those they sprang from … from having them and raising them.”
Linda shook her head and then I could see the truth enter her eyes and she cried all the more. “We’ll … we’ll figure something out. Next time the county comes around …”
“You still don’t understand. They’ve already been here. It wasn’t even seven o’clock in the morning and they were banging on the door with the sheriff to say we had to let them in.”
“What?! Oh no! Where are the kids?! Where?!”
“Safe.”
“What? Where’s that?”
“No one’s business but ours.”
Outraged she demanded, “Where’s Sawyer?”
“He and Uncle Mark are off telling Gramps and the others exactly what their meddling has led to.”
“Oh no Kay-Lee. Sawyer can’t sass Gramps. He just can’t. It’ll cause such problems in the family.”
I shook my head. “You just don’t get it. Well let me tell you something Linda and I pray as hard as I’ve learned to that you aren’t part of this, ‘cause no matter what I’ve said that would just about kill me.” I did what I could to control my breathing then explained, “Because someone thought they knew what was best for us and more than that, when we decided we were the ones that knew what was best for us and were taking care of our own business, someone or a group of y’all carried tales to the county people. Aunt Pearl all but admitted she knew about it yesterday. What you didn’t figure on was what that would really mean. See you all don’t run the county. The state does. And the feds run the states. All them government people are running desperate and needing to show that they are the bosses, not the people they are supposed to work for.”
Linda was confused but I wasn’t going to take the time to help her through it this time.
“When whoever it was got the county people to come out here with their inspectors to look around and bully us, they didn’t just look around our place. They started getting nosey and looking around all the places up here. You know what they saw? Food. Food they can use to pay off the people in the towns that don’t have enough to keep them fat, lazy, and content not to riot. Food and land they can give to the rich people to make up for the hits they’ve been taking and complaints they’ve been making not to give money to the politicians. See farmers are stupid. Farmers are mean. They’re holding back from people, making prices too high. And it isn’t just the farmers up this way. The dairymen are the same way. So’s them church people. They’re meeting and teaching people lies from this old book called the Bible that is nothing but racist fairytales. They’re meeting and they’ve got those evil guns and they might just be trying to overthrow the government.”
Linda kept shaking her head.
“You know all that stuff that Gramps said he was trying to set the Hartford family up so they could survive the bad times that are coming? Looks like some of the Hartford family and their need to meddle and control things are going to be the ones that kick those bad times off around here.”
Slam!!!! The sound of the cast iron skillet hitting the stop of the wood stove might have been satisfying but it only added to my headache.
“Wow.”
I jumped and turned. Linda was in the doorway of the canning kitchen. Power was off and I was trying to work despite my nerves. But rather than shocked she had a terribly understanding look on her face. I sighed, not in the mood for any of it. Sawyer wasn’t here, he was off taking care of the latest emergency and I was trying to calm myself. Yesterday had been horrible and today was worse.
“Feel better?” she asked.
“No,” I grumbled. “Now I have a headache … or a worse one than I was getting. And no, midol won’t fix this one.”
“You’re still angry about yesterday.”
I could already feel my head lighting up all over again. A thing it had done too many times in recent days. “Oh, you could say that.” Trying to save what I could I said, “I don’t want to get you in trouble so you better go back with whoever brought you. There’s no time to waste.”
“I road over with Barbara. She’s out with Huely in the grove for some reason.”
“Linda …”
“Please listen. Aunt Pearl didn’t really mean it. At least mostly not really. Neither did the other aunts. Or the wives. They are just tired and stressed and it was a shock that you and Sawyer were doing a runaround the family.”
I was getting angrier by the syllable. “One, we weren’t and aren’t doing a ‘runaround’ of the family. This isn’t something that should be put up for committee to discuss and decide for us. Do you realize how upset Burt has been after he heard some of what was said, and by whom?!”
“Kay-Lee …”
“And what about Gramps? What’s his excuse? Yeah, he wants everyone to grow up and get a life. But only so long as it is one of his permission that he gets to have a say over and control. He wants Sawyer to do the job that’s been set for him and still run and scurry to his bidding despite it interfering with him doing that job. That’s not letting us be the grown ups WE ALREADY ARE! That’s being a bigger handicap than my body is!”
“Kay-Lee! Don’t say that!”
“What? You don’t want to hear the truth either?”
Part of me felt bad to be fighting with Linda on top of all the rest of it but they weren’t the only ones that were tired, scared, worried, and sick and tired of being tired, scared, and worried.
I snapped, “They didn’t have any right or cause to say what they did. Certainly not in front of everyone like that. I get little enough respect as it is, even in my own house. I don’t need them making it worse.”
“Are … are you really telling everyone to go find somewhere else to do their canning and … and stuff?”
“If Aunt Pearl can threaten my family about being restricted … like I’m some little kid … from benefiting from the rest of the Hartford family efforts even when Sawyer works his butt off for those benefits so the rest of you all can have more of them? Yeah I am. What goes around comes around. She and Gramps and some of the others have been acting pretty doggone entitled to the use of Sawyer’s land and efforts. The fuel he makes. The wood on this land. The work he does for everyone. You know he works a couple of hours EVERY NIGHT trying to set plans that make the most for those willing to do the work to get the reward, no days off, running on fumes and a coffee bean here and there, and no one gives a flip flying flip?! And don’t give me that the uncles used to do the same thing. They didn’t do it under these circumstances for this many families!”
Trying to calm me down she said, “We’re all one family Kay-Lee.”
That made me want to scream. “Are we?! Have you forgotten how most of the wives treated us last year? How most of them still treat me? Like I’m somehow three fries short of a happy meal to their three-course gourmet meal at The Verandah?” I said referencing the restaurant that somehow stayed in business at the golf course everyone calls the country club. “I’ve taken it and taken it and taken it, trying to keep from shaming Sawyer and the few in the family that give more than just a mouse’s broken tail about me. Well I’m done taking it. I’ve survived my birth. Survived all those operations and the pain. I’ve survived the pity, the derision, the being pushed down and kept down. I’ve survived all the rest of it and gotten pretty doggone good at surviving. I’ll survive them censuring me and trying to put me in my place just like the world has. And if it comes to it I’ll drag Sawyer and the kids right along with me and teach them to survive it too. Fine, this family can do without me. Go right on ahead,” I hissed angrily. “They’re gonna learn that I can do without them because for a lot of time I’ve already had to do without them.”
“Aw Kay-Lee don’t say that. You know it ain’t true.”
“When is the last time any of you have had me over to your places? Huh? I can count on one had … as in none.”
“You coulda asked.”
“The point is I shouldn’t have had to. Everyone has treated this house like it is Hartford Central for over a year. Rain, shine, hot, cold, power or not. I’ve kept those doors open so you could. Any of you done the same for me?”
“You … you really feel that way?” she asked in a whisper.
I was breathing like I’d just had to run up the high school stairwell three times straight. I had to turn away. “Linda, I know you are being pushed and pulled all day long. I don’t expect you to make up for what life has thrown at Sawyer and me. Frankly you can’t. And I know Tommy and Huely go every bit as much as Sawyer. I know we aren’t alone in that respect … but put yourself in my place. I’m here. On my own. If it wasn’t for Barbara I don’t know what I would have done to get back on my feet and keep going after I was so sick. And she’s catching heck for doing it.” Other grievances started crowding my head. “Do you know Dr. Carruthers almost put me in the hospital a couple of times?! And where would Sawyer have been?! Do you know what we were going through with the kids at that time?! No. Because everyone assumed and no one came by and really asked.” I needed to wipe my eyes but I didn’t want to give the world something else to hold over me. “The rules are if you don’t participate you don’t get to share and I understand that because of the problems it was causing early on … but I couldn’t participate and I wasn’t asking for anything for me but it would have been nice if more than words had come to help Sawyer while I was so sick. And at other times? Let’s just drop this extra off to Kay-Lee. She doesn’t have anything better to do. She’ll do it and give it back done right, except for the tweaking her and there we’ll have to tell her about. And while she’s doing that we can get our stuff done. She doesn’t have kids to look after. She doesn’t have a house to take care of. She’s not alone with no one to even come by and say hello unless it is a canning day or we need something off their land. She’ll do it and be grateful we are letting her do it so she can be part of the family.”
I turned back around to Linda and said, “Well I might not have grown up with a family Linda, but I know that is not how you treat people you are supposed to really care about. You don’t make them work for their place, and then keep moving the bar so that they finally realize they are never going to be good enough because the only reason they supposedly care about you now that the new has worn off is because of what they can get out of you.”
“That’s not true! No one ever said that!”
“Of course no one has said it. No one had to. It is how people have been acting. It would have been more honest if the entire lot of you had just said how you really felt. It wouldn’t have been such a shock yesterday. I wouldn’t have made up these stupid dreams and excuses in my head that I really had a family that saw me and not how much of a cripple I am.” I was so mad I couldn’t stop the feelings from pouring out. “How dare you all act like I’m unfit just because Sawyer and I didn’t get your approval for the adoption. That we’ve figured out how to pay for it without having to come crawling to the rest of the family. It isn’t your decision to make. It isn’t your decision whether Sawyer and I ever have kids together either. My leg might be crippled up but I swear y’alls souls are crippled up.”
“We didn’t mean it like that! We didn’t!”
“You tell me how I’m supposed to take the nasty words that were thrown at me any … other … way. And then you all have the nerve to just look at me like I’m some demon from hell when I say that no, there won’t be a canning day here today. And no, you aren’t just going to show up and pull fruit off these trees for your own use. Remember that rule if you don’t participate you don’t share? Well I’m starting to put it into effect in this house too. People who treat me and those I care for like second class members of this family, will be considered not to be participating in the survival of us and you can just do without what we were bringing in.”
“Oh Kay-Lee, don’t!”
“Don’t what?! Don’t stand up for those that can’t or won’t stand up for themselves?! Just lay down and say yes ma’am, no ma’am, yes sir, no sir, I’ll take another kick when you have the time please?! It’s wrong Linda. It’s wrong!”
She was crying now. And I cared but when I said I was done, I was well and truly done. They’d gone too far. And we’d all be paying for it soon.
“Linda if anything any of them has done has made it so the judge doesn’t sign those adoption papers? I will flat out never forgive them. I don’t care if Brother Don stands over me in front the entire population up here on the ridge and prays out whatever y’all think is possessing me. How any of you could think, even for a second, I was trying to replace Delly … or Burt … is sick beyond words. As sick as Mason and Rissa are. Mentally damaged to the point of unfixable. How dare that get said to the county people. How DARE ANYONE SAY SUCH A GOD AWFUL AND UNTRUE THING!”
Then I laid some more out. “If none of them understand, you certainly should. The county could come in here and just take Burt and Jolene from us and we’ll never see them again. Because if they’ll take them from us, they sure aren’t going to want the rest of the crazy Hartford boys … or those they sprang from … from having them and raising them.”
Linda shook her head and then I could see the truth enter her eyes and she cried all the more. “We’ll … we’ll figure something out. Next time the county comes around …”
“You still don’t understand. They’ve already been here. It wasn’t even seven o’clock in the morning and they were banging on the door with the sheriff to say we had to let them in.”
“What?! Oh no! Where are the kids?! Where?!”
“Safe.”
“What? Where’s that?”
“No one’s business but ours.”
Outraged she demanded, “Where’s Sawyer?”
“He and Uncle Mark are off telling Gramps and the others exactly what their meddling has led to.”
“Oh no Kay-Lee. Sawyer can’t sass Gramps. He just can’t. It’ll cause such problems in the family.”
I shook my head. “You just don’t get it. Well let me tell you something Linda and I pray as hard as I’ve learned to that you aren’t part of this, ‘cause no matter what I’ve said that would just about kill me.” I did what I could to control my breathing then explained, “Because someone thought they knew what was best for us and more than that, when we decided we were the ones that knew what was best for us and were taking care of our own business, someone or a group of y’all carried tales to the county people. Aunt Pearl all but admitted she knew about it yesterday. What you didn’t figure on was what that would really mean. See you all don’t run the county. The state does. And the feds run the states. All them government people are running desperate and needing to show that they are the bosses, not the people they are supposed to work for.”
Linda was confused but I wasn’t going to take the time to help her through it this time.
“When whoever it was got the county people to come out here with their inspectors to look around and bully us, they didn’t just look around our place. They started getting nosey and looking around all the places up here. You know what they saw? Food. Food they can use to pay off the people in the towns that don’t have enough to keep them fat, lazy, and content not to riot. Food and land they can give to the rich people to make up for the hits they’ve been taking and complaints they’ve been making not to give money to the politicians. See farmers are stupid. Farmers are mean. They’re holding back from people, making prices too high. And it isn’t just the farmers up this way. The dairymen are the same way. So’s them church people. They’re meeting and teaching people lies from this old book called the Bible that is nothing but racist fairytales. They’re meeting and they’ve got those evil guns and they might just be trying to overthrow the government.”
Linda kept shaking her head.
“You know all that stuff that Gramps said he was trying to set the Hartford family up so they could survive the bad times that are coming? Looks like some of the Hartford family and their need to meddle and control things are going to be the ones that kick those bad times off around here.”
Jeepcats27
Senior Member
Families can really destroy themselves!
kyrsyan
Has No Life - Lives on TB
Right there with you. But I don't see that situation resolving in one chapter.
And I really hope she and Sawyer have a plan to hide what the others don't know they have. They are going to get hit, but maybe, just maybe, not as bad as the others.