The mayonnaise master thread

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bracketquant

Veteran Member
Dennis Olson said:
Mary, mayo has vinegar in it. Just the smell of vinegarized egg whites throws my gastric system into instant, violent reverse. And reading all you “vinegarized white snot” lovers’ raving about that disgusting product is tapping on my “hurl” button. If anyone ever wanted to get secrets out of me, it wouldn’t take waterboarding or bamboo shoots under my fingernails. Just hold an open jar of that sh*t under my nose. I’ll tell all instantly.
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Dennis,

If you ever go to the other side, expect a mayoboarding from us. ;)
 
packyderms_wife

packyderms_wife

Neither here nor there.
Dennis Olson said:
This isnt a gas price thread.


A pox on thee and thy house
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A side note, you keep referring to mayo as vinegar infused snot. So when I was at the grocery store the other day I started looking at the various ingredients of various brands, and almost all of them use lemon juice, no vinegar. Now mind you this is central Iowa so there's like three brands for the most part available, Hellman's, Kraft, and generic house brands.
 
packyderms_wife

packyderms_wife

Neither here nor there.
Dennis Olson said:
Okay, some use vinegar, some use lemon juice. In either case the stench would clear out a meeting of sewage workers.
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I'm allergic to all forms of citrus, so in an attempt to keep my mayo habit I tried several "organic" brands that had vinegar instead of citrus and on that note you are correct. Even OC couldn't stand the smell and this is a guy who loves pickled herring and that other fish dish that's made by soaking the fish in lye. YUCK!
 
T

Terrwyn

Veteran Member
SouthernBreeze said:
Same here. Grocery bill for us has gone up around $200 a month over what I've been spending. I'm learning to stretch meat as well. One roast will last us 3 meals, so it's not that expensive when you look at it that way. More veggies added is a bonus for healthy eating habits, too.

I have a roast in the crock pot for supper tonight. Tomorrow night will be roast beef sandwiches. Next night, I'll pour over BBQ sauce, heat, and will have BBQ sandwiches, or I might use in another recipe that calls for beef.
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I always grind some for sandwitches. Mayonaisse, a little mustard and relish. Love it on rye bread. And have hash 2 nights. So get 3 dinners and a lunch. Will try your BBQ next time.
 
SouthernBreeze

SouthernBreeze

Has No Life - Lives on TB
Terrwyn said:
I always grind some for sandwitches. Mayonaisse, a little mustard and relish. Love it on rye bread. And have hash 2 nights. So get 3 dinners and a lunch. Will try your BBQ next time.
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Roast beef on Jewish rye with a bit of mayo is the way we like it. I've never thought about using left overs for hash. I'll have to try that one.
 
Dennis Olson

Dennis Olson

Chief Curmudgeon
_______________
Since so many of you seem to enjoy talking AT LENGTH about the minutiae surrounding this disgusting substance, I decided to start a “master” thread. Here you may discuss, in eye bleeding detail, every aspect of your beloved white snot. I won’t interfere in any way. However, I WILL move any mayonnaise discussion on other threads here.

Have fun…..
 
Blacknarwhal

Blacknarwhal

Let's Go Brandon!
I have a stance on mayonnaise.

It looks disgusting. It tastes delicious. It is a master of versatility and the primary component in many of the best foods that usually end in the word "salad."

The disgusting look of mayonnaise, however, vanishes once it is spread. Apply any amount of pressure to it and flatten it to the desired surface, and it serves its purpose admirably.

It is ugly, and yet it is valuable.

Sound familiar?
 
greysage

greysage

On The Level
BadMedicine said:
I also heard it doesn't burn like shampoo or hand lotion... but I've never eat those second two so I dunno what they were talking about.
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www.naturallycurly.com

How to Do a Mayonnaise Hair Treatment

Step-by-step instructions for using a mayonnaise hair treatment for softer, shinier hair.
www.naturallycurly.com www.naturallycurly.com

  1. HOME
  2. CURL READING
  3. PRODUCTS INGREDIENTS
  4. HOW TO DO A MAYONNAISE HAIR TREATMENT
How to Do a Mayonnaise Hair Treatment
BY CRISTINA CLEVELAND

4.10.20


We have published hundreds of curly hair recipes on NaturallyCurly, but to this day the most popular treatment of all time is: the mayonnaise hair treatment. This is probably because our grandmothers, our mothers, the magazine you browse at the grocery – everyone is telling you to use mayonnaise on your hair.
Does it really work?
Yes and no. We often see eggs and mayonnaise (because it contains eggs) incorrectly touted as a strengthening protein treatment that can combat breakage. However, in truth they do not work as a protein treatment because the protein in eggs is too large to fit into the cuticle. Proteins must be hydrolyzed in order to do the job. So if your goal is strengthening, try a protein rich product that has been formulated for that purpose instead.
If your goal is softer, shinier, smoother feeling hair, then mayonnaise may be a good match for you. Mayonnaise does contain some hair healthy ingredients like lemon juice, vinegar and soybean oil which contain fatty acids and vitamins that can boost shine and act to seal in moisture. To find out what’s in a store bought jar of mayonnaise and its benefits, read here.
If you want to try a mayonnaise treatment for yourself, follow these steps.


How to do a mayonnaise hair treatment
  1. Apply mayonnaise to freshly cleansed, damp hair the way you would a conditioner. Focus on the ends as they are the oldest part of your hair, and avoid your roots especially if you have fine or thin hair.
  2. Put on a shower cap (a plastic bag works just as well) or a heated thermal cap. This step can increase the absorption rate of the mayonnaise into your hair.
  3. Leave the treatment in your hair for 15-30 minutes.
  4. Cleanse with a gentle shampoo to remove the mayonnaise from your hair. If you feel you still have some residue you can cleanse again.

Update:

"I tried it on my Type 2 & 3 curls! I went into this certain it would not work. We've published articles before about how the protein in mayonnaise is not hydrolyzed and therefore cannot work as a protein treatment. I'm also not a fan of using food for my hair - it's just too messy! The mayo also smelled, and that was extremely offputting. So I was very surprised when I tried this treatment and it really did make my hair feel noticeably softer! My hair felt the way it does when I do a nourishing deep conditioning treatment. Anecdotally, I've seen a lot of people say this makes their hair feel smoother, softer, and shinier, and now I have to agree. I'd recommend this as a cheap and easy treatment for anyone hoping to get those results! Will I be doing mayo treatments on the regular now? Probably not. I just can't get past the smell, and there are too many delicious-smelling DC's on the market for me to put up with smelling like a sandwich in the shower."- Cristina, NC Managing Editor

You can buy store bought mayonnaise or you can make your own with eggs, olive oil, lemon juice or apple cider vinegar, and coconut oil. Whichever mayonnaise you choose, always remember you can also add other natural ingredients such as olive oil, avocado, or honey to mix a custom cocktail for your hair needs. In fact, specifically adding almond oil and vinegar can help to get rid of lice.
If you’re looking for softer hair and extra shine, we recommend trying this treatment once a month.
Have you tried mayonnaise on your hair? How did it work for you?

This article was originally published in July 2011 and has been updated for grammar, clarity, and reader feedback.
 
P

Profit of Doom

Dismember
BadMedicine said:
When you first get it from the store it's stil warm, you can take big handfuls of it and swish it in and out between your teeth and cheeks, of pack as much in your cheeks as possible, and then flat palm slap both of them at the same time towards someone, "Squiiiirrt" right in their faces. Killer good time.
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The infamous zit show.
View: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yg08_C307Ag
2:20
 
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