Profit of Doom
Dismember
Is that the guy from The Prisoner?
PLAY Funny Stuff Found on the Internet - REMINDER: POLITICAL HUMOR IS NOT ALLOWED ON THIS THREAD
- Thread starter packyderms_wife
- Start date
Profit of Doom
Dismember
RB Martin
Veteran Member
Never heard that about the Kzinti. Does Larry Niven know this?
Bud in Fla
Veteran Member
Cuz the dash don’t be silent
packyderms_wife
Neither here nor there.
Texican
Live Free & Die Free.... God Freedom Country....
One morning a husband returns to the cabin after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.
Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out, since it is such a beautiful day. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.
Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says," Good morning, Ma'am, what are you doing"?
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious"?)
"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to write you up a ticket."
"For reading a book"? she replies.
"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her again.
"But officer, I'm not fishing, I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to write you up a ticket and you'll have to pay a fine."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the Game Warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he immediately departed.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.
Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece!
Yep, don't argue with females for you may win the argument, but lose the battle.
Texican....
Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out, since it is such a beautiful day. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.
Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says," Good morning, Ma'am, what are you doing"?
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious"?)
"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to write you up a ticket."
"For reading a book"? she replies.
"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her again.
"But officer, I'm not fishing, I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to write you up a ticket and you'll have to pay a fine."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the Game Warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he immediately departed.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.
Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece!
Yep, don't argue with females for you may win the argument, but lose the battle.
Texican....
Texican
Live Free & Die Free.... God Freedom Country....
You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?"
Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base.
They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room.
The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel.
The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation. By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading and sent him on his way.
The day after that though, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again.
Once again, the MP's surrounded the plane...
Only this time there were two people on the plane.
The same pilot jumped out and said,
"Do anything you want to me, but my wife is on the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!"
Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base.
They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room.
The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel.
The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation. By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading and sent him on his way.
The day after that though, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again.
Once again, the MP's surrounded the plane...
Only this time there were two people on the plane.
The same pilot jumped out and said,
"Do anything you want to me, but my wife is on the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!"
day late
money? whats that?
WAIT A MINUTE!!! I resemble that remark.
momma_soapmaker
Disgusted
Profit of Doom
Dismember
Don’t remember the book or story. Maybe one of Man-Kzin Wars. They were on Earth, or perhaps exported them for breeding or just eating. Used to be voracious SciFi reader, then got married. Miss it. Parents bought me Ringworld, that’s all it took.Never heard that about the Kzinti. Does Larry Niven know this?
The little ones (kittens?) liked to play with their food. Messy. Thinking this was on Kzin home planet, family of a decently well placed patriarch (or he could not breed)
Seems there was also something about the males had selected intelligence out of the females over time.
Damn, I miss SciFi.
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This one made me chuckle for awhile
This has been posted before, but I LMAO when it scrolled past.
Oh, if only they were fried in bacon grease!
Profit of Doom
Dismember
Not as many as there used to be.
Profit of Doom
Dismember
Get the cat more ammo and cover him.
medic38572
TB Fanatic
medic38572
TB Fanatic
Bud in Fla
Veteran Member
Texican
Live Free & Die Free.... God Freedom Country....
Yep, that is definitely our furr buddies and our largest furr buddy, Oden, when he stretches out reaches 5' long. When the DW tells Odcen to move, he jump ups and moves or the DW whomps him.
Texican....