Story Up On Hartford Ridge
- Thread starter Kathy in FL
- Start date
beaglemama
Contributing Member
Thanks, Kathy!
sssarawolf
Has No Life - Lives on TB
Sweet, thank you.
Chapter 115
“Why’s she crying this time?”
“You want to watch that mouth Burt Penny.”
He sighed. “I don’t think I meant it the way I said it. I just mean Barbara is more upset than usual about something. I don’t like to see her upset. She’s making a baby … like … like …”
Knowing he was talking around what happened to Delly I said, “And she doesn’t want to see you upset. That’s why she went to her bedroom. It just … made her feel better to hear how Uncle Forrester still considers her his granddaughter-in-law and thinks about her and prays for her, the baby, and Huely. It keeps catching her off guard since she wasn’t expecting it.”
Slightly relieved he said, “Oh. You mean she was being a girl about it.”
I snorted at the burgeoning male chauvinist piglet and told him, “Pretty much. Do me a favor and help me move the pressure cooker off the heat. We’ll just slide it down two burners and let it cool here. Doesn’t look like the inspectors or harvesters are coming today so we won’t have to be quite as cautious with the batch that is still going but you’ll need to help me get that one off the heat in a little while.”
“Yes‘m. I’ll go pick up the tree trash and put it on the porch to dry while Jolene is sleeping. Just holler and I’ll be back real quick. I just want to check on the yard and stuff.”
“Do it with your rain slicker on please.” First I worried about him falling behind and now I worry about him growing up too fast.
He nodded but then turned to me and I knew a question was coming but I dreaded what it might be. Luckily it was a reasonable one.
“Are the cousins really done being knotheads?”
“You’re sounding a little too much like Uncle Mark.”
“Yeah, well …”
“Deep subject. I’m trusting you to be old enough and mature enough not to repeat the grown-up stuff you hear.”
Wise beyond his years he said, “You mean the stuff you let me hear. I know you and Barbara talk about other stuff.”
“What? You want to hear all the gory female subjects we talk about?”
“No! Is that what you were talking about?!”
I grinned. “Yeah. We’re trying to figure out how she’ll have her baby here in the house.”
“Ew. I’m gonna go pick up wood,” he yelped before practically flying out of the house and off the porch.
Okay, he’s definitely still more boy than man but then again I’ve seen Sawyer move that fast over that subject as well. Sigh. What I didn’t tell him was that babies weren’t all Barbara and I had gone into the front room to discuss. And I hadn’t read all of Uncle Mark’s letter within his hearing either.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Well, your suspicions were well founded and no, I didn’t tell Dad or the others about that note you sent to me. Let them believe they figured it out for themselves. It sticks in my craw enough as it is that you figured it out. Won’t be able to stand the rest of them bemoaning the fact. It is bad enough that some of them don’t know which way to look that they fell for some of the nonsense their sons were telling them at home. Of course, some of those act like they never believed it even a little but I’ve had to become more realistic where the family is concerned. I never would have credited any of them with some of the nonsense that has come to light. As my own mother was want to say, that’s what I get for thinking. God rest her soul. Most of this ignoramus behavior would have never gotten thought of much less started had she lived long enough to keep the family in line. I wish you could have known her. I wish Davis and Sawyer could have known her. My brothers and I used to laugh and call her “Velvet Fist” behind her back. She was a fine woman and had we had her longer doubtless the entire Ridge would have been better off for it. But angels belong in Heaven and that’s where she went not too long after Maura Lee’s passing. Stories of my sisters will have to wait for another time. For now, just let me tell you about what is going on today. Ancient history will have to be left where it died.
We started watching our food and supplies more closely. They started getting locked up with only one person in a family group having the key. It only took two days to bring it to a head. That and it seems that some of the boys were already growing cautious if not disillusioned with what was taking place. Believe it or not it was Jamison himself who walked up and confessed all. He gave them all up and I must say a few surprised me. And he surprised them that’s for sure.
Reckon Jamison has had a change in spirit. Might be too much change and I’m hoping the guilt don’t break him. He won’t live in the houses, not even with Uncle Forrester. He will only stay in the tack room of the barn nearest the house. He’s trying to find a way to get to his wife up in Tennessee without creating problems. She’s forgiven him, he just hopes she’ll still take him back after he’s confessed to this latest fiasco of being led around by Bud.
Now there is a piece of work if ever there was one. I never would have considered he’d try and split the family the way he has, and all over trying to get control of the Hartford Trust. What does he think this is? A democracy? I don’t think so Tim. I swear he’s just like his mother and her people and that’s a fact. He’s always had an attitude but nothing like what has come to light. Wants something when he thinks it is his due whether that something actually exists or not. And I’ve a suspicion, confirmed by some of what the boys heard him say, that he is AWOL from a federal work program where they nationalized the oil fields and pipelines (and the people who worked on them) to keep the companies from selling to anyone but the US government who then price controls everything while still getting their tax money and tariffs and kickbacks and backroom deals and all the rest of it. And it isn’t just cynicism and assumptions talking Girl, you better believe that is taking place.
I can’t decide whether this era we are living through is changing people or if it is revealing who they really are, warts and all. We thought Sawyer was one of the weakest and turns out just the opposite is true. Some of those we thought would be the stronger leaders are turning out to be too easily led and prone to procastination. Up is down and in is out. Some friends we thought we had in the community are those we are having to be the most cautious of. People we thought we could work with have turned out to be anything but. Leaders in the community we thought we could trust to work for the good of all are only working for the good of them and their own families. Protectors are revealing themselves to be wolves among sheep.
I know you’ve felt the bite of being cut off, and I’m beginning to have the same suspicion that it is an intentional act by those in governance over us. At least as far as Sawyer and Huely being away so much goes. The gossip that was spread that you were working with the Inspectors and Harvesters is just that, gossip that grew from a few planted seeds. That can only be fixed so much without making the situation worse and more dangerous. I’m sorry to say you’ll likely be dealing with it for a while through no fault of your own. But I’ve put period to that nonsense in the family. Once confronted with the facts many are shocked at what they’d been thinking. Some of my sister-in-laws are in agony over it but I’m not in the mood to fix their sorry-for-it’s. Had the truth been shared as it should have been, and people maintained some commonsense maybe none of this would have happened. Instead, they were weak and look where that has led us … as a family and a community.
I’ve found out that you all aren’t the only ones that this has been happening to though the number appears low enough that it’s flown under the radar. I will say that it seems that you are the only ones that have managed not to cave to the temptations offered to relieve your situation. And you are more cut off than the others who’ve had your head of households taken off more than the others. That’s the Big Picture and I’m still gathering details to flesh it out.
Now for the worries closer to home. You continue to beware of any of the boys that come your way when Sawyer isn’t around. I can say I “think” and “feel” that they’ve turned the corner and Bud has lost his influence over them, but I don’t “know” that for sure just yet. So long as he remains in the area, I wouldn’t put it passed several of them to continue on with whatever stupidity they’ve been up to.
Yes, it does appear the boys and Bud and Jamison have been hunting your acreage for their own use causing it to get depleted of game. There may be others doing the same thing. Just be aware of your surroundings at all times. I can’t ask you to stop what you are doing, but you need to be even more cautious from here on out.
I’m going to ask a favor of you and it may well be one that you are against. In your place I know how I would feel. I’m asking you to write a note, just a short one, to Dad. He feels responsible for more than he should. I’m not saying he doesn’t hold any responsibility, we all hold some, but Dad feels it especially. He’s not sure how he is going to talk to Sawyer about it when the boy gets home, and not even sure if Sawyer will want to talk to him or any of the rest of us. I’ll admit to being more than a little concerned about that myself. He’s already survived more than the others and I’m not sure how he will take what has been done. But write that note to Dad. Here’s some blackmail if that is what it takes. He isn’t doing well. Uncle Ned and Uncle Forrester have spoken with us older ones at length. Beyond all of the family drama there are legal repercussions if Dad becomes unable to function in his current position whether due to health or other reasons. Legal problems we aren’t in a position to fix at the moment. We are having to reevaluate the long term plans we had. There were some people we were counting on that just don’t seem to have the personality or stomach for doing what needs doing. And some of them have admitted to it up front now that the situation is in their faces. So write that letter. Just keep it short and to the point. He’ll see through any attempt to manage him. He’s worse than Uncle Ned about that sort of thing.
Another bit of news you may be interested in. Linda’s mother has come to live with them. Not the house with them but in the little cottage. It is the best of a lot of bad choices. She is shook up from grief and from what has been going on in town. Crime is much worse than was being let out. There’s groups that go around and say they are making things fair by redistributing whatever they can lay hands on, whether that is food or anything else. Very few stores remain open and those that do must abide by the Federal Price Controls and they have armed guards who act as bouncers … and who are licensed by the city to decide who can enter a store and who cannot on any given day.
There is a moratorium on all government fees and taxes. But if you don’t pay them interest will compound monthly. No one is paid in cash these days. It has all been converted to a digital currency. This is part of the legal problems we are having. There is no transparency on exactly what the formula is that they used to convert you cash in the bank to. All precious metals have been declared worthless until the government can get around to confiscating them. Anyone caught with precious metals – and yes, in many locations they are going door to door with their civilian bully boys who are armed to the teeth and the authority to remove and send family members to work camps and children below school age to large day care centers to live while their parents work off what the government says it is owed for non-compliance. There are “training facilities” for special needs populations where they are put to work in whatever capacity that can be found for them. And if they can’t or won’t work there are rumors that there are places that are euthanizing those without families to look out for them. I’ll admit that part may be rumor but there is something going on. Linda’s mother volunteering in town at day treatment clinic when people claiming to be from Health and Human Services took everyone that showed up that day – without their family’s permission – and also took all of the clinic’s records. And as far as she knows, none of those people have been heard from since.
None of us want Tommy or Linda far from home from here on out. We’ve got plans to hide them if necessary but that is just a precaution until we can find out the truth of the matter. It’s not that I don’t believe Linda’s mother but given her own circumstances it could be more fear than fact talking.
There was noise being made concerning land confiscation – this is what really sent Dad over the edge and got him put to bed with blood pressure numbers that matched Uncle Forrester’s before the stroke – but it looks like that might be more than the government can bite off right now. They’d rather own the farmer than the farm. They’ve been out this way surveying to see how much fertilizer and seed we will need to plant come Spring. No fallow fields are allowed. They handed each of us a paper and said what was on the paper is what we would do and what we would plant. It was Ben that asked them exactly how were they supposed to do that without the fertilizer and seed – since neither can be purchased by private individuals due to shortages. As you can imagine the answer was not forthcoming. I’d be interested in whether they’ve done the same for you.
I know you are in straights but forage what you can with the possibility in mind that food will be even more scarce in the coming year. Even if a new regime takes over that tries to put things back to right, it will take time to bring infrastructure and supplies back on line. There are international coalitions that are trying to have a lot of say about what is happening here in the US … both to “bring us to heel” and to “put us back the way we were.” Both China and Russia are having their own problems as well. The entire world seems to be coming undone at the seams and all it is going to take is one fool to make a spark and the world is going to burn.
And on that cheerful note I will stop all this fool writing. Take care and know that you are in our prayers whether it feels like it or not.
Uncle Mark
PS Glad I was able to catch the boys before they left. Got another bundle of letters for you, including one from Doctor Carruthers. Kay-Lee, the woman isn’t doing well. She’s been forced into retirement and for all she is famous and supposedly well-to-do she lost her home and position in town. She knows them people that bought the Old Penny Place. She’s staying out there. I’ll leave her to explain the rest.
“Why’s she crying this time?”
“You want to watch that mouth Burt Penny.”
He sighed. “I don’t think I meant it the way I said it. I just mean Barbara is more upset than usual about something. I don’t like to see her upset. She’s making a baby … like … like …”
Knowing he was talking around what happened to Delly I said, “And she doesn’t want to see you upset. That’s why she went to her bedroom. It just … made her feel better to hear how Uncle Forrester still considers her his granddaughter-in-law and thinks about her and prays for her, the baby, and Huely. It keeps catching her off guard since she wasn’t expecting it.”
Slightly relieved he said, “Oh. You mean she was being a girl about it.”
I snorted at the burgeoning male chauvinist piglet and told him, “Pretty much. Do me a favor and help me move the pressure cooker off the heat. We’ll just slide it down two burners and let it cool here. Doesn’t look like the inspectors or harvesters are coming today so we won’t have to be quite as cautious with the batch that is still going but you’ll need to help me get that one off the heat in a little while.”
“Yes‘m. I’ll go pick up the tree trash and put it on the porch to dry while Jolene is sleeping. Just holler and I’ll be back real quick. I just want to check on the yard and stuff.”
“Do it with your rain slicker on please.” First I worried about him falling behind and now I worry about him growing up too fast.
He nodded but then turned to me and I knew a question was coming but I dreaded what it might be. Luckily it was a reasonable one.
“Are the cousins really done being knotheads?”
“You’re sounding a little too much like Uncle Mark.”
“Yeah, well …”
“Deep subject. I’m trusting you to be old enough and mature enough not to repeat the grown-up stuff you hear.”
Wise beyond his years he said, “You mean the stuff you let me hear. I know you and Barbara talk about other stuff.”
“What? You want to hear all the gory female subjects we talk about?”
“No! Is that what you were talking about?!”
I grinned. “Yeah. We’re trying to figure out how she’ll have her baby here in the house.”
“Ew. I’m gonna go pick up wood,” he yelped before practically flying out of the house and off the porch.
Okay, he’s definitely still more boy than man but then again I’ve seen Sawyer move that fast over that subject as well. Sigh. What I didn’t tell him was that babies weren’t all Barbara and I had gone into the front room to discuss. And I hadn’t read all of Uncle Mark’s letter within his hearing either.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Well, your suspicions were well founded and no, I didn’t tell Dad or the others about that note you sent to me. Let them believe they figured it out for themselves. It sticks in my craw enough as it is that you figured it out. Won’t be able to stand the rest of them bemoaning the fact. It is bad enough that some of them don’t know which way to look that they fell for some of the nonsense their sons were telling them at home. Of course, some of those act like they never believed it even a little but I’ve had to become more realistic where the family is concerned. I never would have credited any of them with some of the nonsense that has come to light. As my own mother was want to say, that’s what I get for thinking. God rest her soul. Most of this ignoramus behavior would have never gotten thought of much less started had she lived long enough to keep the family in line. I wish you could have known her. I wish Davis and Sawyer could have known her. My brothers and I used to laugh and call her “Velvet Fist” behind her back. She was a fine woman and had we had her longer doubtless the entire Ridge would have been better off for it. But angels belong in Heaven and that’s where she went not too long after Maura Lee’s passing. Stories of my sisters will have to wait for another time. For now, just let me tell you about what is going on today. Ancient history will have to be left where it died.
We started watching our food and supplies more closely. They started getting locked up with only one person in a family group having the key. It only took two days to bring it to a head. That and it seems that some of the boys were already growing cautious if not disillusioned with what was taking place. Believe it or not it was Jamison himself who walked up and confessed all. He gave them all up and I must say a few surprised me. And he surprised them that’s for sure.
Reckon Jamison has had a change in spirit. Might be too much change and I’m hoping the guilt don’t break him. He won’t live in the houses, not even with Uncle Forrester. He will only stay in the tack room of the barn nearest the house. He’s trying to find a way to get to his wife up in Tennessee without creating problems. She’s forgiven him, he just hopes she’ll still take him back after he’s confessed to this latest fiasco of being led around by Bud.
Now there is a piece of work if ever there was one. I never would have considered he’d try and split the family the way he has, and all over trying to get control of the Hartford Trust. What does he think this is? A democracy? I don’t think so Tim. I swear he’s just like his mother and her people and that’s a fact. He’s always had an attitude but nothing like what has come to light. Wants something when he thinks it is his due whether that something actually exists or not. And I’ve a suspicion, confirmed by some of what the boys heard him say, that he is AWOL from a federal work program where they nationalized the oil fields and pipelines (and the people who worked on them) to keep the companies from selling to anyone but the US government who then price controls everything while still getting their tax money and tariffs and kickbacks and backroom deals and all the rest of it. And it isn’t just cynicism and assumptions talking Girl, you better believe that is taking place.
I can’t decide whether this era we are living through is changing people or if it is revealing who they really are, warts and all. We thought Sawyer was one of the weakest and turns out just the opposite is true. Some of those we thought would be the stronger leaders are turning out to be too easily led and prone to procastination. Up is down and in is out. Some friends we thought we had in the community are those we are having to be the most cautious of. People we thought we could work with have turned out to be anything but. Leaders in the community we thought we could trust to work for the good of all are only working for the good of them and their own families. Protectors are revealing themselves to be wolves among sheep.
I know you’ve felt the bite of being cut off, and I’m beginning to have the same suspicion that it is an intentional act by those in governance over us. At least as far as Sawyer and Huely being away so much goes. The gossip that was spread that you were working with the Inspectors and Harvesters is just that, gossip that grew from a few planted seeds. That can only be fixed so much without making the situation worse and more dangerous. I’m sorry to say you’ll likely be dealing with it for a while through no fault of your own. But I’ve put period to that nonsense in the family. Once confronted with the facts many are shocked at what they’d been thinking. Some of my sister-in-laws are in agony over it but I’m not in the mood to fix their sorry-for-it’s. Had the truth been shared as it should have been, and people maintained some commonsense maybe none of this would have happened. Instead, they were weak and look where that has led us … as a family and a community.
I’ve found out that you all aren’t the only ones that this has been happening to though the number appears low enough that it’s flown under the radar. I will say that it seems that you are the only ones that have managed not to cave to the temptations offered to relieve your situation. And you are more cut off than the others who’ve had your head of households taken off more than the others. That’s the Big Picture and I’m still gathering details to flesh it out.
Now for the worries closer to home. You continue to beware of any of the boys that come your way when Sawyer isn’t around. I can say I “think” and “feel” that they’ve turned the corner and Bud has lost his influence over them, but I don’t “know” that for sure just yet. So long as he remains in the area, I wouldn’t put it passed several of them to continue on with whatever stupidity they’ve been up to.
Yes, it does appear the boys and Bud and Jamison have been hunting your acreage for their own use causing it to get depleted of game. There may be others doing the same thing. Just be aware of your surroundings at all times. I can’t ask you to stop what you are doing, but you need to be even more cautious from here on out.
I’m going to ask a favor of you and it may well be one that you are against. In your place I know how I would feel. I’m asking you to write a note, just a short one, to Dad. He feels responsible for more than he should. I’m not saying he doesn’t hold any responsibility, we all hold some, but Dad feels it especially. He’s not sure how he is going to talk to Sawyer about it when the boy gets home, and not even sure if Sawyer will want to talk to him or any of the rest of us. I’ll admit to being more than a little concerned about that myself. He’s already survived more than the others and I’m not sure how he will take what has been done. But write that note to Dad. Here’s some blackmail if that is what it takes. He isn’t doing well. Uncle Ned and Uncle Forrester have spoken with us older ones at length. Beyond all of the family drama there are legal repercussions if Dad becomes unable to function in his current position whether due to health or other reasons. Legal problems we aren’t in a position to fix at the moment. We are having to reevaluate the long term plans we had. There were some people we were counting on that just don’t seem to have the personality or stomach for doing what needs doing. And some of them have admitted to it up front now that the situation is in their faces. So write that letter. Just keep it short and to the point. He’ll see through any attempt to manage him. He’s worse than Uncle Ned about that sort of thing.
Another bit of news you may be interested in. Linda’s mother has come to live with them. Not the house with them but in the little cottage. It is the best of a lot of bad choices. She is shook up from grief and from what has been going on in town. Crime is much worse than was being let out. There’s groups that go around and say they are making things fair by redistributing whatever they can lay hands on, whether that is food or anything else. Very few stores remain open and those that do must abide by the Federal Price Controls and they have armed guards who act as bouncers … and who are licensed by the city to decide who can enter a store and who cannot on any given day.
There is a moratorium on all government fees and taxes. But if you don’t pay them interest will compound monthly. No one is paid in cash these days. It has all been converted to a digital currency. This is part of the legal problems we are having. There is no transparency on exactly what the formula is that they used to convert you cash in the bank to. All precious metals have been declared worthless until the government can get around to confiscating them. Anyone caught with precious metals – and yes, in many locations they are going door to door with their civilian bully boys who are armed to the teeth and the authority to remove and send family members to work camps and children below school age to large day care centers to live while their parents work off what the government says it is owed for non-compliance. There are “training facilities” for special needs populations where they are put to work in whatever capacity that can be found for them. And if they can’t or won’t work there are rumors that there are places that are euthanizing those without families to look out for them. I’ll admit that part may be rumor but there is something going on. Linda’s mother volunteering in town at day treatment clinic when people claiming to be from Health and Human Services took everyone that showed up that day – without their family’s permission – and also took all of the clinic’s records. And as far as she knows, none of those people have been heard from since.
None of us want Tommy or Linda far from home from here on out. We’ve got plans to hide them if necessary but that is just a precaution until we can find out the truth of the matter. It’s not that I don’t believe Linda’s mother but given her own circumstances it could be more fear than fact talking.
There was noise being made concerning land confiscation – this is what really sent Dad over the edge and got him put to bed with blood pressure numbers that matched Uncle Forrester’s before the stroke – but it looks like that might be more than the government can bite off right now. They’d rather own the farmer than the farm. They’ve been out this way surveying to see how much fertilizer and seed we will need to plant come Spring. No fallow fields are allowed. They handed each of us a paper and said what was on the paper is what we would do and what we would plant. It was Ben that asked them exactly how were they supposed to do that without the fertilizer and seed – since neither can be purchased by private individuals due to shortages. As you can imagine the answer was not forthcoming. I’d be interested in whether they’ve done the same for you.
I know you are in straights but forage what you can with the possibility in mind that food will be even more scarce in the coming year. Even if a new regime takes over that tries to put things back to right, it will take time to bring infrastructure and supplies back on line. There are international coalitions that are trying to have a lot of say about what is happening here in the US … both to “bring us to heel” and to “put us back the way we were.” Both China and Russia are having their own problems as well. The entire world seems to be coming undone at the seams and all it is going to take is one fool to make a spark and the world is going to burn.
And on that cheerful note I will stop all this fool writing. Take care and know that you are in our prayers whether it feels like it or not.
Uncle Mark
PS Glad I was able to catch the boys before they left. Got another bundle of letters for you, including one from Doctor Carruthers. Kay-Lee, the woman isn’t doing well. She’s been forced into retirement and for all she is famous and supposedly well-to-do she lost her home and position in town. She knows them people that bought the Old Penny Place. She’s staying out there. I’ll leave her to explain the rest.
beaglemama
Contributing Member
Thank you!
Siskiyoumom
Veteran Member
Appreciate the update!
Jeepcats27
Senior Member
Thank you for the update!!! It explains a lot!!!Will Dr C come over? Just hoping she will be okay!
So powerful and yet people refuse to believe that this is EXACTLY what happens in a real world disaster. People who you thought would withstand anything crumble and those easy going numb nuts go into overdrive and amaze everyone. I saw this first hand with multiple hurricanes. The leaders are generally very structured types with rigid plans and when those plans don't go exactly the way they were intended they cannot function whereas the easy going types are flexible and quick to come up with an alternative. I saw this with my own sons where my engineer fell apart and couldn't function while my laid back partier was totally in his element and was able to thrive and overcome every obstacle thrown at us.
Oh my goodness, another prescient chapter! It's one thing to read one of these in retrospect, but to do so in close to real time is scarier. I am grateful for the positive gleams that have shone in the past few chapters; Uncle Ned bringing venison and his affectionate advice - i've been worried about them getting enough protein, even the dogs; small kindnesses from the CI's assistant and from the 'troll' family; and hopefully more 'blue pills' from the doc.
Thanks, Kathy.
Thanks, Kathy.
sssarawolf
Has No Life - Lives on TB
I thank you for another great chapter.
Note to self: Don't read Kathy's stories before bed - 'cause you aren't gonna get any sleep worrying about what might be coming down the pike...
Which doesn't mean I'll listen to myself
Thank you, Kathy! Great as always!
.... or you have weird dreams about starving people walking across a harvested corn field looking for food, or hiding your own food as best you can...
where do you think some of my plot points come from?
I don’t know if I will get the next chapter up tonight or not. We are at our BOL and the team we hired to trench and run some underground conduit cut our phone line. We don’t know where yet. Gonna be fun finding it tomorrow in the rain.
Jeepcats27
Senior Member
Well the weird dreams can really do a number on you, work E/N double. Come home check Kathy's story to decompress before attempting to sleep. Toss and turn, keep waking up during the 6 hours sleep you get before going back to work for an Evening shift. Live on coffee! You know Kathy's got a really riveting story! What would you do in the place of Kay-Lee?
Yeehaw, hubby got his jet pack up and running and I'm posting this now. Power will be down a minimum of six hours tomorrow so the only connection I'll have is my phone. Wish us luck. Yes it is a temporary inconvenience but I'll be practicing some skills we may need in the future. Plus, until that time these new electric lines are going to build our security and redundancies.
------------------------
Chapter 116
My Dear Kay-Lee,
While we’ve never had the kind of relationship that was assumed, I do feel we’ve been closer than your average doctor/patient situation normally creates. You may find this strange after what I just wrote but I feel the need to explain a few things. The time is coming sooner than I anticipated that I will lose the opportunity to do so.
I have always admired you. You may wonder at such a statement, but even us doctors learn things from our patients. Even as a child you had courage … and stubbornness … that I have found no other of my patients to equal. You faced every pain with equanimity. Every set back with determination. When control was wrested from you, you found a way to steal at least some of it back. Hospital staff were often unnerved by your calm reserve even in the face of terrible odds. And you did it in a world of loneliness where often those that should have sympathized with you most, turned their faces away in fear. Yes I know, you have your academic challenges, but it always stunned me how often people allowed that to blind them to your cleverness. The strength of your stoicism made my job both easier and harder. I knew what it cost you, yet you never failed to do what was asked.
I often wondered what would become of you. I certainly never envisioned what your life has become, what you’ve made of your life, and I want you to know … I am proud of you. So much was stacked against you, but you never let it stop you more than you could help. The only time I have ever seen you come close to giving up was during that ill-fated time I won’t bring back up. But even then, you faced it with a rare dignity that people much older would have lacked. I should know, I’m afraid I lost my own dignity recently.
I was forced out of the hospital and into early retirement by my former colleagues because I wouldn’t go along with some of their plans and schemes that took away too much from our patients. Perhaps in one sense they are correct, a little of something is better than nothing at all but my moral code, my Hippocratic oath, and admittedly my pride, wouldn’t allow me to bow to the hospital administration’s demands. So there I was with a license to practice medicine, years of experience, above average skill, but no patients and not allowed to have any since I wouldn’t play by their rules. They then put a lien on my private property for fines and fees and unpaid debt they claim I owe … all of it a lie as none of the doctors I’ve spoken with were aware we were being charged what amounts to a club fee for practicing medicine and having access to the building, supplies, and other healthcare staff just so we could earn money for the hospital. I was feeling sorry for myself. Depressed. Losing all hope. A doctor is all I have ever been, all I ever wanted to be. The pursuit of my calling has cost me a marriage and looks to have cost me a relationship with my children as well. And now an illness I thought I’d seen the last of in childhood has come back. Leukemia. I believe at one time I may have even mentioned to you that was why I went into pediatric medicine in the first place.
They have denied me treatment. I am triaged because they have included my childhood cancer as rounds one and two, which makes this time round three and that disqualifies me for further treatment. I was ready to simply give up and, dare I say it, take matters into my own hands, rather than suffer the same indignities I’d seen many of my patients suffer, including you. And then came the knock on my door late one night. An old friend in need of help. There is a community not far from you that needs someone who specializes in pediatrics. They need someone to train their staff. In exchange, I have a place to feel like I am still viable … as a doctor, a teacher, and as a human.
I have decided to fight the cancer with the few options available to me with the help of my friend and this community of people. My long-term outlook however, since I insist on being completely honest, is not good. Barring infection or other complications I will extend my life, but it is unlikely to extend it into a full remission. But I refuse to simply give up. You never have. And I suspect, regardless of circumstances, that you ever will.
In that vein of thinking use what is in these boxes to make your life less painful for as long as you are able. It is the last bit of doctoring that I will be able to do for you. Be very careful that you do not share this largesse or even reveal it to anyone else. Burn the boxes and store the contents in some other container. I am given to understand from the people I now live with that your circumstances are not without … well, I won’t comment on it as that isn’t my place beyond saying that this is from me to you, for your use and your use alone. And knowing you I’ve also included a few things for the young woman you are sharing your home with. I can do it in the here and now. I can fight for my calling. But the reality is that this is my last and final “doctoring” for you.
I’ve seen some miraculous things in my life as a doctor that can be explained no other way than that there is a Creator Being, a God, who touches some for unknown reasons. One of the most miraculous I’ve witnessed is a baby that refused to die to the point she became surprisingly successful at living.
May our Creator continue to touch you for the rest of your life so that you may in turn touch others as knowing you has touched me.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I admit I nearly bawled like I was Jolene’s age. Dr. Carruthers has been the one and only constant in my life since my birth. I might not be able to label her family, but she is certainly more than a stranger to me. She says I taught her dignity. I say she is the one who taught me. I never had to guess at her motives. Even when I didn’t like what she was doing I knew I could trust her.
And I hope she knows she can trust me. She is not an over emotional woman. The letter must have cost her. To share that much and to do it in a permanent way by putting words on paper. She’s never been cold, but her reserve is legendary. So is her strength and dedication. She kept a lot private for me. She never had held it over my head at how close I came to becoming an addict, how close I came to taking my own life out of fear of the addiction. I’m not afraid of pain, I’m afraid of the pain making me lose control, destroying my inhibitions. She never said, “After all I’ve done for you …” She said, “You are strong enough to choose.”
I can only guess what she did. How she simply walked away with all of it I can’t even begin to guess. There were labels inside the boxes telling anyone that could read the contents belonged to City Hospital. There were enough naproxen tablets to last me two years and that’s if I only used the pills. There was Cur-a-med all natural acute pain relief liquid tabs that I’ve had some success with in the past. Also in there were things that I’d read about but never tried but would as a supplement so that the naproxen could go even further. Arnica salve and gel, a form of topical pain relief. Naspirin tablets made from willow bark. Neuropathy creams and salves. A balm made with frankincense and myrrh. Hemp cream that also contained aloe and turmeric. Lidocaine patches, sprays, and roll ons of varying strengths.
In addition to pain relief peculiar to my needs the boxes also contained Midol, Advil, Tylenol, Rolaids and other antacids, eye drops, ear drops, nose drops, Zostrix analgesic ointment, Capsaicin cream, steroidal salves, triple antibiotic ointment as well as similar products, all of them name brand. There were other first aid supplies, and no few of them almost surgical. There were dental supplies such as toothbrushes, toothpaste, and floss as well as mouth pain and cold sore type pain relievers. There was children and baby formulated medications. Vitamins and minerals in individual formulas as well as mixed together in combos. There was the aforementioned prenatal vitamins and things to help Barbara take care of herself after the birth. There was another case of condoms and Barbara laughed so hard at that – and my explanation of why she’d thought to include them – that she had to run to the bathroom. She nearly had to run back again when she found out the good doctor had sent a separate case for her.
How she squeeze all that she did into those four boxes I’m not sure I want to know. It took time and patience and creativity that’s for sure.
I know Dr. C told me to keep it all to myself – and there were some things that I did, including some stronger medications that I may have to use this winter though none of them as strong as what is yet hidden in the safe in the basement that no one but Sawyer and I know about it – but there was no way to hide that I’d come up with things that Barbara truly needed. If the boys any of the rest of them ask I’ll just say that yes, she was able to send me a small bottle of my “little blue pills” but the rest of it was more of my medical records.
What she sent me was a small fortune. How she got it I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know. I suppose she thought that if they were going to charge her and take her home, she was going to make sure to get her full value on it. Certainly what the fourth box contained is nothing short of miraculous. Salt. Real table salt, not salt substitute or sea salt. I’ll have to be sparing with it but I’ll put it to good use as well. In the corner of that box is something I’m not sure I am ready to think about. There was a box with potassium iodide tablets and instructions on how to deal with radiation poison. I’m keeping those to myself as well.
Does Dr. C know something the rest of us don’t? Is it those people – the Mountain Compound – that knows something? Is it one of those plan-for-the-worst-and-hope-for-the-best things? What happens when it finally hits me that the woman is dying and there’s not a dat blasted thing I can do to help her? Not the least because she isn’t the type to want me to or share that part of her life (death?) with someone that may have meant more to her than most people but was yet still just a patient.
Dr. C said I had courage. I’ve tried. But I’m relying more on my stubbornness these days. What happens when I run out of it like so many other things are running out?
------------------------
Chapter 116
My Dear Kay-Lee,
While we’ve never had the kind of relationship that was assumed, I do feel we’ve been closer than your average doctor/patient situation normally creates. You may find this strange after what I just wrote but I feel the need to explain a few things. The time is coming sooner than I anticipated that I will lose the opportunity to do so.
I have always admired you. You may wonder at such a statement, but even us doctors learn things from our patients. Even as a child you had courage … and stubbornness … that I have found no other of my patients to equal. You faced every pain with equanimity. Every set back with determination. When control was wrested from you, you found a way to steal at least some of it back. Hospital staff were often unnerved by your calm reserve even in the face of terrible odds. And you did it in a world of loneliness where often those that should have sympathized with you most, turned their faces away in fear. Yes I know, you have your academic challenges, but it always stunned me how often people allowed that to blind them to your cleverness. The strength of your stoicism made my job both easier and harder. I knew what it cost you, yet you never failed to do what was asked.
I often wondered what would become of you. I certainly never envisioned what your life has become, what you’ve made of your life, and I want you to know … I am proud of you. So much was stacked against you, but you never let it stop you more than you could help. The only time I have ever seen you come close to giving up was during that ill-fated time I won’t bring back up. But even then, you faced it with a rare dignity that people much older would have lacked. I should know, I’m afraid I lost my own dignity recently.
I was forced out of the hospital and into early retirement by my former colleagues because I wouldn’t go along with some of their plans and schemes that took away too much from our patients. Perhaps in one sense they are correct, a little of something is better than nothing at all but my moral code, my Hippocratic oath, and admittedly my pride, wouldn’t allow me to bow to the hospital administration’s demands. So there I was with a license to practice medicine, years of experience, above average skill, but no patients and not allowed to have any since I wouldn’t play by their rules. They then put a lien on my private property for fines and fees and unpaid debt they claim I owe … all of it a lie as none of the doctors I’ve spoken with were aware we were being charged what amounts to a club fee for practicing medicine and having access to the building, supplies, and other healthcare staff just so we could earn money for the hospital. I was feeling sorry for myself. Depressed. Losing all hope. A doctor is all I have ever been, all I ever wanted to be. The pursuit of my calling has cost me a marriage and looks to have cost me a relationship with my children as well. And now an illness I thought I’d seen the last of in childhood has come back. Leukemia. I believe at one time I may have even mentioned to you that was why I went into pediatric medicine in the first place.
They have denied me treatment. I am triaged because they have included my childhood cancer as rounds one and two, which makes this time round three and that disqualifies me for further treatment. I was ready to simply give up and, dare I say it, take matters into my own hands, rather than suffer the same indignities I’d seen many of my patients suffer, including you. And then came the knock on my door late one night. An old friend in need of help. There is a community not far from you that needs someone who specializes in pediatrics. They need someone to train their staff. In exchange, I have a place to feel like I am still viable … as a doctor, a teacher, and as a human.
I have decided to fight the cancer with the few options available to me with the help of my friend and this community of people. My long-term outlook however, since I insist on being completely honest, is not good. Barring infection or other complications I will extend my life, but it is unlikely to extend it into a full remission. But I refuse to simply give up. You never have. And I suspect, regardless of circumstances, that you ever will.
In that vein of thinking use what is in these boxes to make your life less painful for as long as you are able. It is the last bit of doctoring that I will be able to do for you. Be very careful that you do not share this largesse or even reveal it to anyone else. Burn the boxes and store the contents in some other container. I am given to understand from the people I now live with that your circumstances are not without … well, I won’t comment on it as that isn’t my place beyond saying that this is from me to you, for your use and your use alone. And knowing you I’ve also included a few things for the young woman you are sharing your home with. I can do it in the here and now. I can fight for my calling. But the reality is that this is my last and final “doctoring” for you.
I’ve seen some miraculous things in my life as a doctor that can be explained no other way than that there is a Creator Being, a God, who touches some for unknown reasons. One of the most miraculous I’ve witnessed is a baby that refused to die to the point she became surprisingly successful at living.
May our Creator continue to touch you for the rest of your life so that you may in turn touch others as knowing you has touched me.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I admit I nearly bawled like I was Jolene’s age. Dr. Carruthers has been the one and only constant in my life since my birth. I might not be able to label her family, but she is certainly more than a stranger to me. She says I taught her dignity. I say she is the one who taught me. I never had to guess at her motives. Even when I didn’t like what she was doing I knew I could trust her.
And I hope she knows she can trust me. She is not an over emotional woman. The letter must have cost her. To share that much and to do it in a permanent way by putting words on paper. She’s never been cold, but her reserve is legendary. So is her strength and dedication. She kept a lot private for me. She never had held it over my head at how close I came to becoming an addict, how close I came to taking my own life out of fear of the addiction. I’m not afraid of pain, I’m afraid of the pain making me lose control, destroying my inhibitions. She never said, “After all I’ve done for you …” She said, “You are strong enough to choose.”
I can only guess what she did. How she simply walked away with all of it I can’t even begin to guess. There were labels inside the boxes telling anyone that could read the contents belonged to City Hospital. There were enough naproxen tablets to last me two years and that’s if I only used the pills. There was Cur-a-med all natural acute pain relief liquid tabs that I’ve had some success with in the past. Also in there were things that I’d read about but never tried but would as a supplement so that the naproxen could go even further. Arnica salve and gel, a form of topical pain relief. Naspirin tablets made from willow bark. Neuropathy creams and salves. A balm made with frankincense and myrrh. Hemp cream that also contained aloe and turmeric. Lidocaine patches, sprays, and roll ons of varying strengths.
In addition to pain relief peculiar to my needs the boxes also contained Midol, Advil, Tylenol, Rolaids and other antacids, eye drops, ear drops, nose drops, Zostrix analgesic ointment, Capsaicin cream, steroidal salves, triple antibiotic ointment as well as similar products, all of them name brand. There were other first aid supplies, and no few of them almost surgical. There were dental supplies such as toothbrushes, toothpaste, and floss as well as mouth pain and cold sore type pain relievers. There was children and baby formulated medications. Vitamins and minerals in individual formulas as well as mixed together in combos. There was the aforementioned prenatal vitamins and things to help Barbara take care of herself after the birth. There was another case of condoms and Barbara laughed so hard at that – and my explanation of why she’d thought to include them – that she had to run to the bathroom. She nearly had to run back again when she found out the good doctor had sent a separate case for her.
How she squeeze all that she did into those four boxes I’m not sure I want to know. It took time and patience and creativity that’s for sure.
I know Dr. C told me to keep it all to myself – and there were some things that I did, including some stronger medications that I may have to use this winter though none of them as strong as what is yet hidden in the safe in the basement that no one but Sawyer and I know about it – but there was no way to hide that I’d come up with things that Barbara truly needed. If the boys any of the rest of them ask I’ll just say that yes, she was able to send me a small bottle of my “little blue pills” but the rest of it was more of my medical records.
What she sent me was a small fortune. How she got it I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know. I suppose she thought that if they were going to charge her and take her home, she was going to make sure to get her full value on it. Certainly what the fourth box contained is nothing short of miraculous. Salt. Real table salt, not salt substitute or sea salt. I’ll have to be sparing with it but I’ll put it to good use as well. In the corner of that box is something I’m not sure I am ready to think about. There was a box with potassium iodide tablets and instructions on how to deal with radiation poison. I’m keeping those to myself as well.
Does Dr. C know something the rest of us don’t? Is it those people – the Mountain Compound – that knows something? Is it one of those plan-for-the-worst-and-hope-for-the-best things? What happens when it finally hits me that the woman is dying and there’s not a dat blasted thing I can do to help her? Not the least because she isn’t the type to want me to or share that part of her life (death?) with someone that may have meant more to her than most people but was yet still just a patient.
Dr. C said I had courage. I’ve tried. But I’m relying more on my stubbornness these days. What happens when I run out of it like so many other things are running out?
Siskiyoumom
Veteran Member
Spot on Doctor!
Thank you Lady Kathryn!
Thank you Lady Kathryn!
beaglemama
Contributing Member
Thank you!
Yeehaw, hubby got his jet pack up and running and I'm posting this now.
Please give him a big thank you, too!
Yeehaw, hubby got his jet pack up and running and I'm posting this now.
Please give him a big thank you, too!
sssarawolf
Has No Life - Lives on TB
Good luck with getting your phone line back up and running. Thank you so much for the chapter.
Sammy55
Veteran Member
WOW, Kathy!!! Tears are streaming down my face right now. Not only for the words about Kay-Lee, but also for what the doc has gone through and will be facing in the future. Wow isn't even an adequate word for this chapter.
I've got to go find some kleenex before I ruin my keyboard......
I've got to go find some kleenex before I ruin my keyboard......