treatments for alcoholism

[Laurelayn]

I dont know if this is the right place to post this or not, but it seems the most appropriate to me.
I need help, I have a tough time asking for help and I have no family to turn to with this since they are all alcoholics and would be at a complete loss.
My DH, whom I adore, is mired in self medicating for pain by drinking better than a pint of whiskey every night. he builds commercial fire sprinkler systems for a living and lifts and carries 100 lbs. or better of pipe across job sites and up stairs daily on a regular basis. his shoulders and knees are not going to last much longer, they are in need of surgical intervention already and his blood pressure is already high and medication is not helping. AA is out of the question for him, we work way too many hours already and going to meetings, well, he just dosent do strangers.
I guess I am pretty much the same with the exception of my "family" here.
We cannot afford for him to loose his job but I believe that if his employer knew how bad his physical condition was they would encourage him to get his medical problems taken care of and seek help for his alcoholism. BUT, I am more afraid that if I bring it up to anyone that can help that they will just find a reason to fire him and be done with it. I really believe that the co. he works for cares more for him and his contributions than that, but what if I am wrong? I feel so stuck between a rock and a hard place here.
I am watching someone I adore drink himself to death to alleviate pain that could be better alleviated by a few months of light duty and some serious physical therapy.
Do I ask for help from his supervisor (whom I do believe will be supportive) and possibly be wrong and end up having my DH blame me for him loosing a good job or do I just watch a damn fine man drink himself to death because I am afraid of loosing the (meager yet solid) material things we have accumulated in our 15 years together.
I dont know anymore, at 44 and 45 years old we both just seem to look forward to death because keeping up with the status quo is so difficult.
I know many of you will freak over that but thats where we are. work work work, havent had a vacation in 6 years and there is no fun on the horizon either, just more work work work.

yikes, it's late
Ill say goodnight now.
Laurelayn

 

[rugmaker]

Laurelayn

I am so sorry that you are going thru all this and your husband too! I'm gonna PM you, but in the meantime, I will say some prayers for your family.

I have found that the more people that get involved in my personal problems also increase the problems. Pretty soon the orignial problem is somewhat solved and then I have to live with the doubts of the people I've told. Of course, it's your call and you know the situation. But really personal things like this are best handled at home. If you must say something, maybe just tell them that he is in a lot of pain and keep the other private. Do you have health insurance. If so, have him checked out. Maybe when the pain is gone, so will the self-medicating. Is there another job that he can do for the company that isn't so hard on him? If he is well liked and they see him in pain, maybe a supervisory position might be made for him.

I agree with the other, I'm older, I'm tired and I'm ready!

 

[ejagno]

I've PM'd you. You will get through this. I promise. Thanks for putting your trust in us to help you. I know this had to be so difficult but you did the right thing. Chin up!

 

[Dixielee]

Al-anon

My ex-husband was an abusive alcoholic/drug user who did not want any help, but I did. At the advice of a counselor at work, I went to a few al-anon meetings. It was so freeing to hear my story repeated many times by others. It made me realize that I was not alone and that I was NOT the problem. This allowed me to make some good decisions regarding my future. This may not be relevant to your situation, but if he will not seek treatment, if you can understand what is happening, it may be easier for you to live with the situation and in turn help him. Good luck. It is a horrible thing to watch someone you love destroy his life and those around him. Believe me, there IS more to life! Take care of yourself first. You are not alone.

 

[summerthyme]

Oh, sweetie... this has to be so hard for you. You've got two problems here (well, he does... but you're married and you're the one who asked for help, so...)

The chronic pain and worsening physical problems are one thing. The alcoholism is separate- connected, and the pain is giving him an excuse, but since you say your (his?) family is alcoholic, I suspect if it wasn't this excuse, it would have been another.

I don't have any answers, but I wonder.... can't you get help for the physical problems without mentioning the alcoholism to anyone at work? No, it's not going to be the whole solution, but it sounds like he needs medical care, and that Workman's Compensation should be covering it. That's what businesses pay into it for.

Does HE want to cut back or quit drinking? If not, nothing you can do will change that. If he does... or even if he even says he does, possibly getting him on some of the natural remedies for joint problems- glucosamine, chondroitin, MSM... will help his pain enough that he can cut back on the booze. But if he's drinking a pint of hard stuff a day, I fear he's seriously physically addicted. Depending on how long he's been doing that, he's going to need actual medical help to get off the alcohol.

If money is a problem, of the three natural supplements mentioned above, the chondroitin is the one you can probably skip. Several studies have seemed to show that glucosamine alone works fairly well, chondroitin alone doesn't seem to do much, and some don't seem to show much difference between the combination or glucosamine alone. And chondroitin is the most expensive one.

Also, see if you can get some B-complex vitamins into him daily, both because they are vital in stress situations, and because booze depletes them big-time.

If you can approach this with a "you know, we're still young yet, we've got a lot of years left, and I want to spend them with you. I can't stand to see you hurting, and I'm afraid you're ruining your health with the booze. Will you do this for me?" possibly it might get through.

I do understand serious chronic pain.... I have that problem, and so does my hubby, to a lesser extent. It can make life so damned hard to live sometimes that almost anything that dulls it seems like a good idea. The trouble is, long term use of almost any pain killer brings it's own problems... and they're often worse than the original.

I'd say try and address the job-related health problems first, and then see what happens.

I'll be praying for you both.

Summerthyme