Tumbleweed
Veteran Member
The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an
> Eagle to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government's
> political stance. A condom stands up to inflation, halts production,
> destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you
> a sense of security while you're actually being screwed. It just doesn't
> get more accurate than that.
> _________________
> They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we
> just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's
> worked for over 200 years, and hell, we're not using it anymore.
> _______________
>
> The reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse!
> You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal", " Thou Shalt Not Commit
> Adultery", and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers,
> judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile working environment.
> ________________________________________
> Zero Gravity
>
> When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered
> that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this
> problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion dollars
> developing a pen that writes in zero gravity upside-down on almost any
> surface including glass and at below freezing to over 300 C. The
> Russians used a pencil. Your taxes are due again----enjoy paying them
> _________________
> COWS
>
> Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government
> can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the
> stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington. And they tracked
> her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million
> illegal aliens wandering round in our country. Maybe we should give
> them all a cow.
>
>
>
> Eagle to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government's
> political stance. A condom stands up to inflation, halts production,
> destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you
> a sense of security while you're actually being screwed. It just doesn't
> get more accurate than that.
> _________________
> They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we
> just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's
> worked for over 200 years, and hell, we're not using it anymore.
> _______________
>
> The reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse!
> You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal", " Thou Shalt Not Commit
> Adultery", and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers,
> judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile working environment.
> ________________________________________
> Zero Gravity
>
> When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered
> that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this
> problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion dollars
> developing a pen that writes in zero gravity upside-down on almost any
> surface including glass and at below freezing to over 300 C. The
> Russians used a pencil. Your taxes are due again----enjoy paying them
> _________________
> COWS
>
> Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government
> can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the
> stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington. And they tracked
> her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million
> illegal aliens wandering round in our country. Maybe we should give
> them all a cow.
>
>
>
- funny!