Story Dear Diary

L

Lylythye

Member
Dear Diary,
My life is falling apart and i have no one to occupy but myself.
When I won this free exchange program to attend my high school here in the United States, I was full of excitement, hope for the future, and now I know that I’m never lucky and when I have things I ruin things. My name is Ana and I was born in Brazil, I came to the USA when I was 16 and I settled in a small town.
My host family was supposed to be a couple with a son two years older than me and his grandmother.
Weeks before my arrival the couple passed away and as all the paperwork was already finalized and archived there was no change.
Look, yes I know, it seems I’m cursed to carry death wherever I go, first it was my parents in that bloody car seat when I was seven and, and now this, it really doesn’t get out of my head that I’m cursed to not have father figures in my life.
But despite that I arrived optimistic and met Tom and his grandmother Mary who welcomed me and treated me so sweetly for someone who was in mourning and when I thanked Mary she replied that I was a sign from God, that they were not alone, that they could still to have a family and I was the chosen family of her late children.
I was so happy to finally have a family.
I heard the sound of a car from the gate, they must have arrived, dammit.. I’ll tell you more next time.
 
L

Lylythye

Member
Dear Diary,
Today I am feeling much more balanced. It’s been more than a year since I came to the United States on the exchange and everything was great, Mary was like a grandmother to me always guiding me in her religious way and encouraging me, Tom didn’t have much contact with me because he finished school high school and either working and studying to become a police officer or dating his girlfriend.
It was like a dream come true to have a family and live here, but like all dreams it always ends and mine ended with a party I went to two months ago.
When I went I thought it was going to be just another normal party, just like any other I’d been to, well I didn’t count on the drink watered down with alcohol or the drinking competition that I agreed to enter being already very upset, much less sleeping with someone and not remember the next day.
That’s right dear diary, I slept with someone, came back home, got ready, slept and the next day I didn’t remember any of it.
As you can imagine I’m pregnant and yesterday I told grandma, she is upset with me but she will support me and will talk to Tom to find out who at the party is the possible father of the baby.
Gods I’m so exhausted, so drained, so disappointed I just want to give it all up, how can I be a mother without study and work at Seventeen?
 
L

Lylythye

Member
Dear Diary,
It’s been a week since I last wrote and I must admit that my life now officially appears as a badly financed Hollywood movie script, not that before with the teen pregnancy it didn’t appear but now it’s too much.
As you can tell from my previous sentence I found out who the baby’s father is and how I ended up sleeping with him and why he slept with me.
Well, remember Tom’s girlfriend, so she’s a drug addict who, in order to earn money to get high, made a bet that Tom would sleep with me and then bet with Tom who could reduce me first.
Ridiculous, worthless, irresponsible and this isn’t even the worst part huh, when grandma spoke to Tom, he panicked and started questioning me about why I didn’t take birth control and blamed that son entirely on me of a mare.
Grandma was initially furious with Tom and now I’m thrilled to have a great grandchild and has given na ultimatum that we should get married what the **** is my life.
Seriously she spoke to tom’s girlfriend’s family that burial not girl and rehab and before she went she broke up with tom who is now mad at me for that too. Not that I care what that bastard is feeling.
Now Mary has scheduled exams for me and is preparing for one for marriage that I don’t want but I feel obligated because I know I can’t provide for the life I’m generating that I don’t want to generate but I don’t have the means or courage to end.
Oh, I even felt poetic and wanted to cry, two months pregnant and I’m already quite hormonal, isn’t it?
Oh My God, what do I do with my life, why did I have to screw everything up like that by agreeing to sleep with him, if I agreed, because I don’t remember.
The more I write the worse I get and I don’t want to continue to wet you with tears, so for today I say goodbye to you dear diary.
 
L

Lylythye

Member
Dear diary,
After much reflection on what i am going to do with my life and projecting variables for my future, i realized that my only support is grandma Mary and that in order not to lose her i would have to have the baby, i also had the revelation that from today grandma and the baby will be my only family in this world, they will be the ones who will motivate me to be better and oh lord just saying that makes me cry again, but that’s ok.
Calm.
I went to the doctor and you’re so tiny, my darling, that’s what I’m going to call you, baby darling.
The school is a shit, I don’t know who Maria Fifi didn’t know how to shut her mouth and spread what happened to the four corners of the world and when I find out I’m going to kick him as far as Judas lost his boots. Honestly, if someone else I’ve never talked to comes to talk to me or make jokes at my expense, I won’t be so composed anymore when mandalos pick up coconuts and I’ll be quite aggressive. Hey, maybe I can take advantage of this, you can’t hit a pregnant woman even when you’re being beaten by her, huh?!
As for my friends, they, like grandma, are supporting a wedding, God and cruz credo, I didn’t know that people here were so traditional, in Brazil there wouldn’t be that pressure, of course they would disapprove of my pregnancy but it wouldn’t be all that there no.
I never thought cultural differences would give me such a headache, ugh.
Outside of my classes that I insist on taking because I won’t be a school dropout, it seems that my life is in a fog, that I’m not participating in decision-making, that in fact I’m a little boat carried by the current of life.
Breathe, inspire, calm down.
You want to know until next time dear diary, I need a semblance of control that writing on you isn’t giving, so I’ll study.
 
L

Lylythye

Member
Dear Diary,
Today is being very, very difficult. We had health class and the topic was consent, my emotions are in a mess.
Consent is a masculine noun that expresses the action of consenting, and means giving permission or license for a certain act to be practiced.
Consent happens when there is a free will, so that na attitude is taken so that na end is achieved. It’s a way of agreeing and granting approval to someone.
I know that in Brazil what happened is a crime because paragraph 1 of article 217 CP, which is also rape of a vulnerable person, having any type of sex (vaginal, oral, anal, etc., whether between heterosexuals or homosexuals, male or female) “with someone who, due to illness or mental deficiency, does not have the necessary discernment to carry out the act, or who, for any other reason, cannot offer resistance”.
Until today I had avoided thinking about what happened as rape and now I can’t stop feeling violated, I will never drink again. I don’t have any support and I don’t know what would happen to me if I returned to Brazil.
I know that I would lose Mary, the only figure I have had in my family since my parents died.
I’m not strong enough to lose her and continue the pregnancy, I’m not brave enough to abort and I don’t want her to go to na orphanage. I’m going to marry my abuser and I’m going to have to move on. I am no longer a child, I am a woman who will be strong for her child and for herself.
I lost my dreams but nothing stops me from having new ones.
I will never love Tom, he will never love me either but he will arrest me for being my son’s provider and he will continue to arrest me because of his ideals.
I will not let my fire be extinguished and I will overcome all possible difficulties even while bound by almost unbreakable chains. Ana Rodrigues 2019
 
L

Lylythye

Member
Dear Diary,
Pregnancy is hell!!!!!
I am currently three months old and experiencing increasingly horrendous symptoms, so bad that the wedding was postponed until after the delivery.
My kind diary, trash of my mind, you must be wondering what symptoms, right? Well let me tell you the first, what is bothering me as I write, are my growing and painful breasts, the swelling of my legs and feet, nausea and vomiting, tiredness and sleep, changed taste with desire to eat more and more bizarre things, aversion to smells and the urge to urinate all the time.
My dear, trash of my mind, I tell you that whoever said that pregnancy is something wonderful is either a man who hasn’t gone through any of that or was a very stoned and delirious woman.
Oh, I didn’t tell you that I started taking classes today in childbirth and how to take care of a baby, did I? Well, it was in childbirth class that I met my new passion, that wonderful ball that honestly I don’t know and I don’t care if it’s yoga or pilates, the only thing I know is that grandma bought me one lol in this situation they keep me moving and then if something happens to the ball I’m able to start taking out whoever I see in front of me.
As for school, it’s good that I was already aware that I wouldn’t go to university because if it weren’t for the illusion it would end very quickly, my beloved grades are going down the drain even with all my effort and I know then that from now on it’s just back and life that goes on.
Lord Jesus Christ what a desire to eat Pão de queijo, I’ll even write down the recipe to buy the ingredients.
INGREDIENTS
2 cups of sour sprinkles (tea)
1 cup sweet sprinkles (tea)
1½ cup coarsely grated semi-cured cheese 3 eggs
1½ cup water (tea)
¼ cup oil (tea)
1 teaspoon salt oil to taste for greasing hands
METHOD OF PREPARATION
•Preheat the oven to 200°C (average temperature).
• Separate two medium non-stick baking sheets (if not non-stick, grease with a thin layer of oil).
•Place the water and oil in a small pot (or kettle) and bring to a boil over medium heat. Meanwhile, in a large bowl, mix the flour and salt – be careful when measuring the flour: as it is a light ingredient, fill the cup with the bag until it forms a small mound and then level it with a knife, or fill the cup and tap for the dust to settle and fill in what is missing.
• As soon as the mixture of water and oil boils, pour it little by little over the mixture of sprinkles, to scald. Stir well with a wooden spoon (or spatula) until all the liquid is incorporated. Wait for the dough to cool. But just wait: if it is hot and you follow the recipe, it will cook the eggs that will be added and melt the grated cheese, making the preparation run smoothly. Add grated cheese and mix well.
• In a small bowl, break one egg at a time and add to the dough – if one is spoiled, you don’t lose the recipe.
•Mix vigorously after each addition to fully incorporate each egg, preferably with a wooden spoon.
• The dough won’t be smooth, don’t be scared that’s how it is. The texture is a little more rustic, with sprinkles, and a little sticky. The important thing is that all the ingredients are well mixed, without the liquid part of the egg separating from the dough.
•To model the cheese breads: put a little oil on a saucer to grease your hands; with a spoon, remove a portion of the dough and roll it into the size of a golf ball (about 6 cm in diameter). If your hand starts to get sticky, stop, wash your hands, and re-grease.
•Transfer the modeled cheese bread to the baking dish and repeat with the rest, leaving space between each one – they expand when baking.
• Bake in the oven for about 40 minutes, until risen and golden.
• Remove from the oven and serve next.
 
L

Lylythye

Member
Dear Diary,
The pão com queijo was delicious, Of course I couldn’t find all the ingredients and substituted the type of cheese, but I found condensed milk in the supermarket and while pão de queijo was baking, I cooked it in the pressure cooker for 40 minutes and made a top dulce de leche too much. My afternoon snack was pão de queijo , a little coffee with warm milk and for dessert pão de queijo filled with dulce de leche, I ate until I was full.
Seriously it was really good!!!!
While eating I was so nostalgic and missing my land so much, my sunny country full of my beaches, oh God, I miss the beaches so much.
Dear diary, changing the subject I found out we weren’t even married and Tom is already cheating on me lol this is going to be the biggest fake wedding in history.
Not that I’m sad about it as long as he doesn’t focus that desire on me all is right with the world.
Grandma is now also taking me to church, before I didn’t go and she didn’t think it was a bad thing because like it or not, she didn’t have that control over me but now she’s being very insistent that I join the community, so I’m going too since do what is not?!
Ohh I can’t forget to tell you that tomorrow we’re clearing out a room to set up the baby and I don’t know how to feel about it this little lump is becoming so much more real this way and I can’t decide whether to cry or laugh or despair and do the two but while I decide I’m just going to move forward because the one who walks sideways is a crab.
Uhhh, it was just talking about it that made me want to eat a crab shell, oh what a sin daddy, I won’t be able to quench that desire.
I hope the baby isn’t born with the face of a crab!!!
Until next time dear diary I need to go to the bathroom AGAIN.
 
L

Lylythye

Member
Dear Diary,
I finally reached 5 months and managed to find out the sex of the baby, my little lump is finally no longer a little lump, nor a little seed, nor any other name that I've been inventing over this period and yes it was a long period in which I didn't write anything because I was out of balance with hormones and super, super, really super busy and busy with school, 0/10 I don't recommend it for pregnant women or anyone really.
I went to the gynecologist, had an ultrasound and (drum roll) found out I'm having a little girl.
Granny Mary is delighted to have a little girl to spoil and Tom is super disappointed it's not a boy, which means I'll have even less to worry about him pestering the family, so yes Tom, stay away I appreciate it.
I'm going to start preparing the trousseau now, hey!!!
I will prepare the pink, purple and various other pastel shades that I think are super cute on babies and small children.
In addition to the trousseau, I want to paint the bedroom ceiling in a starry sky and buy big, fluffy teddy bears and some smaller ones so she can hug.
you know diary, I went back to reread it and realized that in addition to not continuing to write daily as was intended or at least weekly or even monthly, I had really bad grammar, in the previous paragraph so, oh lord!!! if you wrote like that normally it wouldn't pass on anything and wouldn't have any correct wording kjkkkk.
My beautiful little girl, if one day you read this diary, know that your mother is making a lot of effort and I'm even learning to knit, including your trousseau being knitted by me and by grandma, your great-grandmother.
Sweetheart you should also know that the engagement ring I already received was the one your great-grandson gave to your great-grandmother Mary, so it's a family heirloom treasure.
Now that I've found out your gender I'll form a list of names to choose from that will probably show up the next time I write.
darling, see you next time kisses!!!
 
L

Lylythye

Member
Dumb Blonde said:
I think you mean that the engagement ring was given by the great grandfather not great grandson.... ( unless time travel is involved...)
Loving the story, keep going!
Click to expand...
There are things I write, read, reread and don't see kkkkkk
seriously I realy don't know how this great grandson ended up there
But your comment really made me want to write a oneshot with just the great-grandson going back in time to sell the ring
 
L

Lylythye

Member
oneshote - The ring
I grew up with stories about how magnificent and benevolent my great-grandmother Mary was and it always left me wanting to meet her.
I'm Mark, son of Ana, one if not the most brilliant scientist of the millennium and I used my genius to do what no one else has done, I created a time machine.
The machine has already been tested and proven functional and without anyone knowing I will use it to fulfill a childhood wish to meet my great grandmother.
I have a scripted plan, I'm going to pretend to be a traveler and stay at your place for a day.

******************************

Everything went according to plan and I must confess that despite being prepared for her personality, I did not expect the impact her beauty would have on me, my God, the great-grandmother was beautiful.
Afraid of changing something in the future, I didn't dare to interact with her much, but the little time I spent was enough to satisfy my childhood desire.
But the unexpected happened shortly before leaving, I met my great-grandfather on the way home, he was cursing for having lost the ring to ask my great-grandmother's parents' blessing (her hand in marriage too, right!) and in a twist that proves the time loop theory I offered the ring that would one day be passed down to me as a family heirloom.
How wonderful to be the scientist who is sure to win the Nobel Prize for discovering the Time Loop and Time Travel!!!
 
L

Lylythye

Member
Maya
Mirian
Helen
Jasmim
Lily
Lara
Dear Diary,
I could stay here citing the names I like and I would end up using all your pages.
Really who knew that choosing a name is something so difficult, it’s been more than a week since I found out that I’m having my little flower and I still haven’t chosen its name.
The name is a very important choice, as it is one that will accompany her throughout her life and may directly influence the way in which she will be seen by other people.
It is through the name that it will be inserted in society, will become known and will be a distinct and unique being.
There are those who say that the name can define the child’s personality and even influence the success of their professional and loving future.
However, more than that, the name is directly linked to the formation of identity.
I AM NOT PREPARED FOR SUCH INFLUENCE!!!!
Do you realize that because of my choice in the future, she may be excluded, suffer bullying, have DEPRESSION ..... JESUS, it’s very difficult.

*********†**********************†********
I told my friends my dilemma and at the end of the class they surprised me, they put together a box with their (our) favorite fictional characters and guess who I took?
(drum roll)
TUM, RUM, TUM BOOM
I sorted Renesmee Cullen.
But not for all that is most sacred, I will make a mess like this with my baby, but he managed to reconcile the use of the concept of his name. (René/mother+ Esme/mother figure)

My baby will be called Rose-Mary.
Rose for my mother, Rosa Rodrigues and Mary for the Grandma.
 
L

Lylythye

Member
Dear Diary,
We decided to have a baby shower that is different from a diaper shower.
A baby shower, also known as a stork shower and crib shower, is na event where the mother-to-be (me) receives gifts for her soon-to-be baby.
Normally, the party is organized between the 6th and 8th month of pregnancy. It is a popular tradition in Brazil and many other countries such as India and the Dominican Republic.
The baby shower usually takes place after the birth of the baby and the gifts received are exclusively disposable diapers.
I know it’s still a little early, but the seventh month will fall during the exams and the eighth during the holidays.
My initial idea was to have a more traditional baby shower in which the women in the family and friends of the family would be called, but Tom decided what he wants to participate in and the thing became more modern, I only accepted it so you could get more of a present, huh, little Rosie.
Another thing is that I want to make up for my lack of a reveal key to make the baby shower really pink.
Hmmm! Talking about these parties made me hungry. I’ll prepare something to eat...
 
L

Lylythye

Member
Dear Diary,
Today Grandma and I finished cooking the baby shower sweets and snacks.
I am so happy!!!!!
Mary made a chocolate cherry tartlet, berry cheesecake, and pink lemonade.
I made strawberry truffles, pate (chicken, turkey breast, cheese and guacamole), mine tuna sandwiches, mine baked cheese stuffed kibbeh, chicken sfihas and mine pizza.
Mine is like small, there is no literal translation into English kkkkk .
As for the food, I plan to put it on two long tables, the sweets go to the table in front of the panel with the name Rose-Mary and the other table that will be closer to the guests will have the cold cuts board, the breads, toast .... snacks in general.
Tom also participated (miracle of miracles, I'll check the weather forecast as this is clearly a sign that it's going to rain) and according to our plans he set up the tables in the garden and bought the tablecloths, balloons, cachets, disposable cutlery...
Confirmed guests: Neighbors, my friends, Tom's guests (who I have no idea who they are), and Grandma Mary's friends (who are mostly the gossipy old ladies from church).
I'm so tired of the kitchen rush that I don't have the energy to write anything else, I feel so broken!!!!!
 
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