Libertarian
Deceased
So far so good. I wish that I had a hig school buddy with a Hobbit hole like Daniel Cox has. Perhaps I'll win the lottery and build one of my own. (Now to go learn all about machining tools...)
Comments for TEOTWAWKI II
- Thread starter Libertarian
- Start date
Wow! Those people will be living in prep heaven! Can't wait for the next chapter!
Christian for Israel
Knight of Jerusalem
looking good bro! i see you wasted no time in starting to post, huh? good.
Libertarian
Deceased
I liked the good news/bad news mix in chapter two. Kerry dies and the world gets slammed with BFR's. I mourn the AF1 crew having to go in such bad company.
Fleataxi
Deceased
AT: No Can Do unless Dennis works his magic. The BBS software has a 40K word limit oer post. The existing story is over 400K words - or 10 times Dennis's limit!
TEOTWAWKI is one of my shortest stories!
Escape From The Rat Race just broke the 400 page barrier, and is over 80 chapters long! Even Frugal's won't let me update EFTRR as 1 post!
Dennis mentioned posting PDF's to his website. I'm a little leery about that, since I was hoping to self-publish the PDF versions of my story as PDF flies on CD-ROM. If I posted the PDF's for free. no one would have any incentive to buy them.
Fleataxi
TEOTWAWKI is one of my shortest stories!
Escape From The Rat Race just broke the 400 page barrier, and is over 80 chapters long! Even Frugal's won't let me update EFTRR as 1 post!
Dennis mentioned posting PDF's to his website. I'm a little leery about that, since I was hoping to self-publish the PDF versions of my story as PDF flies on CD-ROM. If I posted the PDF's for free. no one would have any incentive to buy them.
Fleataxi
I've been going over to Frugal's just so I can read more of this story. 
Thanks for sharing it, Fleataxi.
Thanks for sharing it, Fleataxi.
A.T.Hagan
Inactive
Fleataxi said:
You don't have to do them all as one post. Just make one thread of many posts. If you look at some of the other stories you'll see that there's as many as thirty, forty or more posts in a single thread with each post being a given chapter. Much easier to read the story that way since you don't have to click from thread to thread. Take a look at <i>We Interrupt This Program</i> and you'll see what I mean.
.....Alan.
Libertarian
Deceased
Damn man! Those blue hats are real bastards aren't they. They must be Arabs and Africans to get that level of violence and contempt for human life. Most probably that is exactly who the UN will use to "keep the peace" in the New World and Europe.
I am so glad that my colour blindness is green/brown/red and not blue. I will know who to "look" for when the time comes.
Oh yeah! Thanks for changing your posting style. As Alan says, it does make it easier to read.
I am so glad that my colour blindness is green/brown/red and not blue. I will know who to "look" for when the time comes.
Oh yeah! Thanks for changing your posting style. As Alan says, it does make it easier to read.
Fleataxi
Deceased
[HELP] Can Mod Delete Chapt 2&3 Threads
MOD: Chapters 1-4 now reside on the same thread as chapter 1. Please delete Threads titled Chapter 2 and Chapter 3, and can you fix the title of Chapter 1 thread to remove the reference to Chapter 1 - for some stupid reason BBS software won't let me edit my own thread!
Fleataxi
MOD: Chapters 1-4 now reside on the same thread as chapter 1. Please delete Threads titled Chapter 2 and Chapter 3, and can you fix the title of Chapter 1 thread to remove the reference to Chapter 1 - for some stupid reason BBS software won't let me edit my own thread!
Fleataxi
A.T.Hagan
Inactive
There's a board thing about not being able to edit any posts you make 1440 minutes (24 hours) after it's posted. It's something that many of us fiction writers have rued in the past, but there are good reasons for it in the other forums.
You'll have to contact Dennis or one of the mods to correct the thread title and delete the now redundant posts. He's pretty good about that kind of thing.
.....Alan.
You'll have to contact Dennis or one of the mods to correct the thread title and delete the now redundant posts. He's pretty good about that kind of thing.
.....Alan.
Libertarian
Deceased
Not to pick nits but...
"The second round was a .45 caliber sub-caliber penetrator made of hardened ordinance steel, with 2 lead driving bands cast onto it. Dan explained the rear band acted as a gas check, and the front band rode the bore, to prevent the steel from damaging the bore."
At the velocity and pressue you're talking about (you mentioned 'hypersonic') the lead wold not engage the lands. It would strip and the saboted round would tumble. I'd suggest copper or brass instead.
"The second round was a .45 caliber sub-caliber penetrator made of hardened ordinance steel, with 2 lead driving bands cast onto it. Dan explained the rear band acted as a gas check, and the front band rode the bore, to prevent the steel from damaging the bore."
At the velocity and pressue you're talking about (you mentioned 'hypersonic') the lead wold not engage the lands. It would strip and the saboted round would tumble. I'd suggest copper or brass instead.
Christian for Israel
Knight of Jerusalem
good point lib! (the lead bands were my idea, lol) you're right, copper or brass would work much better, and would likely be easier to mount as well.
Christian for Israel
Knight of Jerusalem
hey, nobody's perfect. can i help it if i'm more perfect than most?
Many of the situations and facts are interesting, but it seems like so many patriot and TEOTWAKI stories end up being about armaments and weapons. I would be very interested to hear about the kind of life that your characters are leading, how they manage the food and fuel and going back to much simpler technology-
Thanks for your efforts!
Thanks for your efforts!
TIK
Inactive
I take it I can give a quick critique on the story?
First the good...Great premise, pretty good "pacing" if you will between the technical jargon and the action of attacks and what have you, very interesting to see how battle tactics play into this...interesting and "usuable" ideas from the descriptions of the prep stuff throughout the first part of the story.
The not so good...relying on starting on many dialogues between two people with them calling the other person's first name. NO ONE talks that way. It's odd. The technical jargon is WAY over the top, and very boring. I wouldn't know a 9mm bullet from a Sidewinder missle, and apparently, you have to have some knowledge of all of this prior to reading this story. BORING. Not a whole lot of character development, however, that might not be the point of the story. But it sure would be better, and make me care more when those folks got killed by the Apache. Too many plot elements were way too "convenient" to move the story along. There didn't ever seem to be a "downside" (well, except for the attack that killed all those folks). But I'm talking about leading up to it...EVERYTHING seemed to simply fall in place. Unrealistic.
Fun read though...I kept reading...and now, I need to know how this plays out. SO ONWARDS!!
First the good...Great premise, pretty good "pacing" if you will between the technical jargon and the action of attacks and what have you, very interesting to see how battle tactics play into this...interesting and "usuable" ideas from the descriptions of the prep stuff throughout the first part of the story.
The not so good...relying on starting on many dialogues between two people with them calling the other person's first name. NO ONE talks that way. It's odd. The technical jargon is WAY over the top, and very boring. I wouldn't know a 9mm bullet from a Sidewinder missle, and apparently, you have to have some knowledge of all of this prior to reading this story. BORING. Not a whole lot of character development, however, that might not be the point of the story. But it sure would be better, and make me care more when those folks got killed by the Apache. Too many plot elements were way too "convenient" to move the story along. There didn't ever seem to be a "downside" (well, except for the attack that killed all those folks). But I'm talking about leading up to it...EVERYTHING seemed to simply fall in place. Unrealistic.
Fun read though...I kept reading...and now, I need to know how this plays out. SO ONWARDS!!
TIK
Inactive
I just wanted to add something else, for I do not want to come across as an ass, or a pseudo expert in writing. I'm not either, but more inclined to the former! In any event, I do like the story. WHY? Because it made me realize how dreadfully UNPREPARED I am. I do have a year's storage of food, and lots of other things, but I live in Orange County folks. Not like I have room to plant a garden and build a 10,000 square foot facility into a mountain. I'd LIKE to...but I can't. In any event--I'm repeating myself--In ANY EVENT, I just wanted to make sure that my critique wasn't too abrasive. I do enjoy the story. So keep it going...
Maybe if I had the courage, I'd do a story too! Maybe...
Maybe if I had the courage, I'd do a story too! Maybe...
Fleataxi
Deceased
TIK: thanks for the honest evaluation. The story was originally written for a Preparedness/Survival forum (Frugal Squirrels) and cross-posted over here by request.
The audience at Frugal's is VERY Gun savvy, and would know the difference; and would call you on it if you made a firearms mistake.
If your tastes run to well-developed characters, you might want to surf on over to the Frugal Squirrels forum, and check out the Patriot Fiction Forums. My handle is the same over there. , and I'd reccomend North To Alaska, Escape From the Rat Race, and Allakaket Airlines - A trilogy by me. North to Alaska is the story of a middle-aged hunter stranded in Alaska by a bush plane accident, and his long-term survival.
I don't know if Dennis appreciates anyone posting links to other forums, so if you're interested in reading it, and not already a member at Frugal Squirrel's, please e-mail or PM me, and I'll e-mail you the link to the story.
Fleataxi
The audience at Frugal's is VERY Gun savvy, and would know the difference; and would call you on it if you made a firearms mistake.
If your tastes run to well-developed characters, you might want to surf on over to the Frugal Squirrels forum, and check out the Patriot Fiction Forums. My handle is the same over there. , and I'd reccomend North To Alaska, Escape From the Rat Race, and Allakaket Airlines - A trilogy by me. North to Alaska is the story of a middle-aged hunter stranded in Alaska by a bush plane accident, and his long-term survival.
I don't know if Dennis appreciates anyone posting links to other forums, so if you're interested in reading it, and not already a member at Frugal Squirrel's, please e-mail or PM me, and I'll e-mail you the link to the story.
Fleataxi
sssarawolf
Has No Life - Lives on TB
farout
Wanted to say great story, keeps me interested.
Wanted to say great story, keeps me interested.
Fleataxi
Deceased
Chapters 17 & 18 added
Sorry it took so long to update the story. I'm writing 3 stories at the same time. I just posted Chapters 17 and 18 at 19:10pdt today (08/31/2004)
This story has taken a very dark twist, and is frankly hard to write, since most of the characters are going to die soon, and I have to write about the depravity of the minions of Satan.
Sorry if I offend anyone, that was not my intention.
Fleataxi
Sorry it took so long to update the story. I'm writing 3 stories at the same time. I just posted Chapters 17 and 18 at 19:10pdt today (08/31/2004)
This story has taken a very dark twist, and is frankly hard to write, since most of the characters are going to die soon, and I have to write about the depravity of the minions of Satan.
Sorry if I offend anyone, that was not my intention.
Fleataxi