Dec 14th: St. Croix – Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum (39 flavors of them) - Part 2
We were going to talk some more tonight but today’s activities kinda shot that one in the foot. I hope they feel better in the morning. Really I do. I won’t even make loud noises on purpose even if tempted. I suspect this is more about them needing to blow off steam than anything else. As a sailor -former wanting to be a sailor anyway – I get that. I also saw that Lev was trying to rein his part in but even he reached that tipping point and I had to play the sober fifth wheel after a while.
It started when they were feeding the pigs beer. And isn’t that a statement I never expected to say in this lifetime. One of the guys there was a tour guide that specialized in tours for the two distilleries on the island. Rum and tourists. Yeah, you get the picture. Well the disruption in travel, as well as the government issued edict that travelers couldn’t be penalized if their plans were impacted by the recent travel mandates meant a lot of people were cancelling their reservations. It also means a lot of locals are losing money. As a result, guides and companies are out and about offering discounts to tourists already on the island.’’
Color me surprised when Diego (Mr. Metabolic Issue) and Chan (Mr. Teetotaler) got all excited and wanted to give it a go. Lev later explained to me that they both “broke their vows” once or twice a year and apparently were due. Sounded like rumspringer, or however you spell it, where Amish kids take a year off and cut loose in a big way to get it out of their system and decide whether to return to their parents’ lifestyle or not. Oh my gosh.
St. Croix is home to both the Cruzan Rum, which we’d already driven by, and Captain Morgan Rum distilleries. Both distilleries offer popular tours ending with rum tastings. Is the picture starting to form?
The Cruzan Rum distillery is set on the preserved historic remnants of the original Estate Diamond sugar cane plantation. The Nelthropp family, owners of the distillery, have been producing Cruzan Rum for a lot of generations (since 1760) and are still running the distillery hands-on today. Their tour offers a look at their historic grounds, and an up-close look at the process of distilling rum.
The Cruzan distillery is “the world’s most honored rum distillery in the world”. Or so they claim. The hand-crafted rum is not only the basis of Cruzan rum, they are also the largest supplier of American private and distributer label rum, meaning they make it but other people put their labels on it. Additionally, the Cruzan Rum Distillery is one of two rum manufacturers included on the
American Whiskey Trail which is crazy to think is a real thing. American Whiskey Trail. Why do I have a feeling that is on most guy’s bucket list?
The Captain Morgan Rum distillery is, by comparison, the new kid on the block on St. Croix. Their state-of-the-art Visitor Center offers a multi-sensory experience complete with a film presentation in their on-site, air-conditioned auditorium, followed by a look at modern distilling via a comfortable tram ride. It was like a theme park. Even Benny wondered if they have a Junior Ranger program. I kicked Diego in the ankle and told him to stop encouraging him to think those thoughts.
At the end of the distillery tours, each adult visitor received two cocktails, as well as the opportunity to taste some of the seemingly endless variety of rums. I’ll be honest, I was tempted, but in the end I had to decide it was not my thing because I had Benny along and because I had to play Den Mother to the three men who seemed to have trouble choosing from the 39 flavors of rum that were offered. I’d nearly made a mess with the cider in Hawaii, and given our circumstances, now is not the time for me to experiment.
Now this is the surprise that I had waiting for me at the end of the tour. The distilleries offer great deals on 6-bottle packages. I’m thinking, “Meh. Who cares?” Then I found out that each adult returning to the US can bring back 6-bottles of alcohol duty-free as long as one of the six was distilled in the US Virgin Islands. What?! Then came the fact that the distilleries will pack your rum safely into a travel box for you to take home. And the best part is that it doesn’t count as one of your checked bags. You can thank the USVI Government and Dept of Tourism for that. But you must have it properly packed and stamped. Did I mention each adult? And that there were 39 flavors to choose from?
That meant that Lev and I would be packing 12 bottles of rum back to the States. He never has been a drinker per se but he likes to “collect” stuff on that order. Lev chose black strap rum, single barrel rum, mango rum, pineapple rum, black cherry rum, and tropical fruit rum. For my six we chose blueberry-lemonade rum, peach rum, key lime rum, strawberry rum, banana rum, and spiced rum. Those were all from Cruzan. At the Captain Morgan distillery Lev was already a little “loose” and decided to have some shipped to his drop point. And yeah, I had to grit my teeth and let him spend his money. “Let” being the really stupid thing I told myself until I realize that was really, really stupid because I am not the boss of him and … control issues; I’ve got ‘em and I know it and I’m trying … really … to keep them in check.
Let’s see if I can remember all the flavors: sliced apple, original spiced, white rum, black spiced rum, 100 proof spiced rum, gingerbread spiced, orange vanilla twist, pineapple rum. Then there were some “rare” flavors like apple smash rum, grapefruit rum, long island tea in a bottle, and watermelon smash.
I thought, okay, we’ll head back to the hotel now and I can feed them, preferably with a first course of strong black coffee. Nope. The guide was quite happy to keep going and so were the men.
Next came the Leatherback Brewing Company. This isn’t a rum distillery but a beer brewing company. It isn’t nearly as old as the rum distilleries but has a good reputation … or so they claimed. It was almost put out of business but survived the 20’s pandemic by the skin of their teeth as Dad would have said. They started on St. Croix but eventually expanded to a St. Thomas location that is now larger because of more tourists there. They do ale, lager, stout, spiked seltzers, and a few other unusual things that I had never heard of. What the heck is hefeweizen? When you can’t pronounce something does that make it exotic?
Next stop … yes, the men wanted to keep going … was a distillery that made something called Mutiny Vodka. In addition to their main product, they had a bunch of what they called “micro batches.” Uh huh. Ginger Lime. Summer Sorrel. Banana Cream Pie, Guavaberry, Mango, Coffee … and a bunch of other things that made me wonder who’d been sampling the secret recipe a little too often. Especially something called “Smoked Island Peppers” Vodka. On top of that weirdness, I was to find that these vodkas were distilled from breadfruit. Apparently they also use citrus, tropical melons, and green bananas in the process. Alrighty then.
It was no fun trying to keep Benny occupied so he didn’t notice Lev and the others were getting smashed. The people at the distilleries must have been accustomed to keeping kids occupied because there was an area outside where I could go with Benny where non-alcoholic stuff was available. Unfortunately, there was also a gift shop out there and Aunt Gus decided to do some shopping of her own.
The St. Croix Food and Wine Experience book features recipes from celebrity and island chefs, but it's more than just a cookbook -- it's a keepsake, full-color island guide to St. Croix. The book features more than 70 recipes, chef profiles, historical and cultural information on the island, and a guide to enjoying wine in the tropics. Yes, I copied that off the book jacket.
I got a couple of six-pack variety of Tortuga Rum Cakes. I know they aren’t gluten-free but since the vodka was, I was just being snarky I suppose. I discovered the cakes in Key West and they taste just like the rum cake that Grandfather Barry would make at the holidays. Discovered they had all the flavors and splurged: Moonshine Apple Pie Spice, Kentucky Bourbon and Butter, Tennessee Whiskey Spice, Premium Rum, Mexican Vanilla Rum, Jamaican Blue Mountain Coffee, Mamajuana Rum, Caribbean Rum, Coconut Rum, Key Lime Rum, Orange Rum, Banana Rum, Chocolate Rum, and my favorite the Pineapple Rum cake of which I got two. I’m very lucky they offered free shipping because of the size of the purchase. Hurray … snippy
and frugal. I paid the additional for expedited shipping since there were possible shipping delays, the same way that Lev had done for the booze.
I heard a couple of older women exclaiming happily over the spice prices … as in the prices were incredible compared to how much they were “back home.” I find I enjoy cooking so long as I am not just cooking for me. It is like a mission or something. Spices sounded like a good financial investment, so I made the clerks very happy and my wallet somewhat morose, but I mean … investment, must think investment. And since they fit in the case of stuff already going to Lev’s drop point … more frugal which is a good thing.
I had to pull the “just married so I don’t have any ID in that name” routine so that I could address the package in something other than the name on my ID but I had a copy of our marriage license and everyone wished me luck … and then giggled a bit when they realize the slightly tipsy man with the squinting eyes was my so-new-I-hadn’t-knocked-the-shine-off-yet husband. Oh brother.
Lastly, we hit the duty-free store over by the cruise port. Oh. My. Goodness.
I found out that a US resident may ship goods purchased in St. Croix, U.S Virgin Islands (“unaccompanied purchases”) to the United States. Well I knew that part because of where I’d just come from but the rest of it is what I learned from the posters at the store. Unaccompanied purchases are goods you buy on a trip that are being shipped to yourself in the United States. In this instance you may declare: Up to $1,600 worth duty free
per person under your personal exemption if the merchandise is purchased in the USVI. An additional $1,000 worth of goods may be mailed dutiable at a flat rate of 1.5% percent.
All the men were taking advantage of this. Chan bought cigarettes, presumably for family because I’d never seen him smoke; he didn’t even vape. Diego and Lev spotted the Royal Crown at the same time. Diego mostly stuck with the expensive Signature Series. Lev seems to like flavored stuff: apple, vanilla, peach, and salted caramel. He actually crowed when he found some dusty bottles in the back flavored with honey, maple, and two bottles of the old Texas mesquite. They bought some weird canned stuff too … Peach Tea, Washington Apple, Whiskey & Cola, and Whiskey Lemonade. When I caught him wandering towards the expensive jewelry, I pulled him around and said, “Oh no you don’t Big Boy.”
By then the men were listing to the side just a bit. They were never drunk … per se. But they weren’t functioning at 100% either; the biggest reason why I was not going to see Lev buy jewelry at that point.
I’m not going to fight with Lev over this. The guys needed a break. They haven’t had a day off and unlike Benny and I, they haven’t exactly been having nothing but fun. I keep saying that this is a job that doesn’t feel like work. Everyday is a play day. The guys on the other hand haul equipment all over the place, stay up till all hours meeting deadlines, and put up with major crap from the other end of the phone lines. Sure, I cook and do a little housekeeping somewhat but that’s not really work for me because it is something I would have to do either way. And the guys all help me look after Benny. They are like family even including the bumps we’ve had.
But I will admit, my situational awareness radar kept pinging every time they did something silly. Maybe what I saw and sensed on the plane affected me more than I want to admit, but I just don’t want to take any chances right now. They’re asleep after I got them to eat just a little bit. After all three crashed and burned Benny asked what was wrong with them.
“Uh … not wrong exactly. They had too much to drink.”
“Huh?”
“You know how you get squirrely when you have too much sugar? Especially too much sugar and red dye?”
He grinned. “You mean they’re drunk?”
“Benjamin Lawrence Barrymore, where did you hear something like that?!”
He snickered. “Uncle Groucho and Aunt Stella after they had a honeymoon.”
Oh yeah. Now I remembered that particular incident. “Well that was a long time ago. And Lev isn’t drunk. He’s a little … tipsy.”
“He sure was tipsing over when you tried to get him to go to bed,” he snickered.
I rolled my eyes and tried not to laugh. They were indeed “tipsing over.” Good thing I’m a big, tall, strong girl or their “tipsing” would have squashed me flat.
Resources:
Welcome | American Whiskey Trail (distilledspirits.org)