Nov 11 – 13: Okaloosa County
November 11(R) - Henderson Beach State Park (camp) – Veterans Day
Two counties down already but at least fifty-four yet to go. There are sixty-seven counties in Florida and I know we are skipping a couple due to damage or lack of accessible parks, but I don’t know exactly how many as some of the itinerary is still “fluid.”
We got up this morning and I had to go through all of the stuff that needed to be done before we could leave, most of which was just stripping the beds and leaving the used linens in the bag provided. Since I was going to have to clean anyway I made a quick batch of gluten-free pancakes with apple pie filling and whipped cream. Lev and Benny dug right in but Rick was much slower.
Benny noticed before I did and tried to tell him something with a mouthful of food. I gave him the Super Duper Grandma Barry raised eyebrow stare and he stopped, swallowed, and then said, “It’s okay Mr. Rick. They are the special pancakes that Aunt Gus makes so I can eat them.”
Well he finally started eating his share before I buried his face in them. Not appreciating him thinking that I’d feed something to Benny that would make him sick. He sensed it and pulled me aside before I did the final walk through to make sure nothing was left behind.
“Don’t take it personally, please. It wasn’t meant that way. I’ve just spent a lifetime being suspicious of everything I put in my mouth … even things made by people that know me and mean well. It’s an automatic response and not meant to be insulting.”
“Well remember this please. I am at least as vigilant for Benny’s sake. If I cook it, I know what goes in it. It is one of the reasons we don’t eat fast food very much, and why I read ingredient lists instead of just the advertising. I know it is going to take time to trust me, but I’d rather cut my own throat than take a chance with Benny’s health. And that means also watching what you and Lev eat. You’re grown men, you will make mistakes on your own … but not with something you eat from my cooking.” Hopefully he’ll understand how serious I am sooner rather than later.
I will at least admit that I might have been a little sensitive because this was Veterans Day, and we were heading to a local cemetery to help a scout troop put flags on the graves there. I was nervous of how Benny would react while doing my best not to show it. Turned out I worried for nothing. Some of the older Scouts in the troop really showed off their commitment to the Scout Laws. They also showed good leadership skills and watched over Benny as he helped. Stinker gave me up though and I wound up playing
Last Post on an available bugle.
“You do not need to include that in your vids,” I told Lev afterwords with an arched eyebrow all my own.
“You sure?” He asked, fighting a grin.
“Yes.” He got the point but still nodded semi-solemnly.
Rick wanted to know if I played any other instrument. “I used to play the drums.” At the look on his face all I could do was chuckle quietly. “It was one of Dad’s crazier attempts to help me use up some of my energy. The attempt didn’t last long. And yes, the neighbors were thankful.”
“Er … oh.”
I sighed as we walked back to the vehicles. “I was too much of a hyperactive tomboy to settle down to the piano or guitar. I was going to learn to play the banjo like my father, but …”
“But?”
“It was the year … I went to go live with my brother.”
“Your brother didn’t provide lessons?” Rick asked carefully.
“He never learned, and I lost my motivation … for a lot of stuff. It was more important for me to get everything else squared away and then life started happening too fast and I learned to play the bugle instead during a summer training camp I attended.”
“It only took you a summer to learn to play like that? And you still do?”
“I OCD’d it enough to put blisters on my lips and then started playing for various events while I was in high school.”
That was enough sharing. They knew a lot about me, so I decided that until they shared about themselves my story telling was officially over.
After the noise I almost made at breakfast I had to take some of it back when we ate lunch at Fudpucker’s Gator Beach
[1] directly across from where we stayed the night, Henderson Beach State Park. Stopping was free. The bar-and-grill is where we had lunch. But Benny’s favorite part was where I paid for him to feed the gators. I swear I must be losing my mind or something. Who pays to feed gators?! Tourists that’s who. We are
not tourists for pete sake. Still, gotta admit, it
was kinda fun.
After lunch we went to Crab Island (using Crab Island Cruises). Crab Island
[2] is one of the most popular attractions in Destin, FL. The shallow waters are emerald green and an obstacle course of floating bars. Really. Floating bars, some that have liquor and some that are strictly snack bars. Today Crab Island is nothing more than a raised sandbar but, at one point, was actually an island, however it has eroded for years. In most places on Crab Island, the depth of the water is about 1-4 ft.
Lev had a difficult time filming without getting other people’s faces in the shots. In hindsight it would have been better to have gotten there much earlier. I was able to keep Benny from reacting to the crowds by keeping him moving with the kayak. Rick … not so much. Found out later that it wasn’t the crowds so much as he got a call from his friend Rosa’s aunt giving him an update on his uncle’s health. And also updating him on Rosa. Man, could they be any more obvious. Rick says he only wants to be friends, and thinks it is too soon for Rosa to be in any kind of relationship and he’s not especially interested in being a rebound for her. He looked at me … well, it seemed to be a particular look, but I’m not interested in being
his rebound so if there is something there it is going to be slow and steady. Because the disaster that was Christopher is not something I want to repeat.
As far as Crab Island, it was about as fun as those types of things are. Might have been more fun had I been with some of my old shipmates or crew mates. Definitely would have been fun with Pei along but who knows. You know how they say if it is too loud you are too old? By mid afternoon I was feeling kinda old and creaky. There was also enough drinking going on that a few of the yahoos triggered my spidey-senses since they appeared to be displaying less and less of their own. I didn’t regret going, but I surely didn’t regret leaving either.
Then it was off to Henderson Beach State Park for campsite check in. The sand dunes were incredible. Thirty feet easy and nearly snow-white. And the shoreline? We were definitely going to be enjoying more fun in the sun and a great big ol’ fat order of wetness.
The campsites were really nice. There were sixty of them and they all were large enough for RVs up to 60’ and had both water and electric. Sewer was at a modern dump station which was okay by me though I did hear a couple of RVers complain a bit. Oh well, you get what you get and don’t throw a fit. Stupid thing to complain about in my opinion though I guess if you are staying a while, use a lot of water, drive a semi-sized RV, etc you don’t want to have to chock and unchock those behemoths just to dump your tanks.
Besides camping and playing on the beach the park is good for bicycling, fishing, geo-caching, hiking, picnicking, and wildlife viewing. Now when I say hiking, I’m not talking about the kind of hiking Benny and I have grown used to. The hiking at this park is a three-quarter mile, maintained nature trail and long walks on the beach. The geo-caching idea is fun, but Benny and I decided we had too much of an advantage over other people not to mention throughout the park system a lot of the original caches had been lost due to storm damage so the ones that are still viable we are leaving for the serious cachers and the newbies at it.
The bathrooms were fit for royalty. They have heat and air conditioning though neither were in use when I was in there. What
was available (to registered campers) were showers with hot water. Oh glory. I could have lived with a cold outdoor shower this time of year, but I’ll be honest and say I’m glad I didn’t have to tonight. There’s the shower in the van of course, but I prefer taking advantage of freebie showers when possible to save our water storage.
There wasn’t a lot of time after we got to the park to “play” but we gave it a shot. First off we got Benny’s junior ranger program stuff. Definitely not as professionally done as what we found in the national park system. Some of the activities were a little childish for the age range they suggested as well. Benny solved that by working in a higher age bracket. Then we did a quick walk on the nature trail. Like I said it was only three-quarters of a mile and maintained, as in it was basically a concrete sidewalk. However, it also had some interesting sign-thingies including that the trail had originally been built around an old military bunker built into the high-dunes decades ago. We had to share the trail with some people walking their dogs but it wasn’t bad as they had to be on short leashes rather than running free. Definitely some poop-scooping going on as well. All of the dogs were well-behaved except for this one teacup-sized ball of fluff suffering from small-dog syndrome. The blasted thing acted almost rabid. That one I don’t think I’d cry about if it gotten eaten by a gator but on the other hand it might have been its owners that deserved the eating. Poor thing was dressed up in the most ridiculous costume with bows and booties. No, I’m not kidding. Use your imagination because I refuse to embarrass that animal for all eternity by inserting a picture. My Lord.
Benny was a little wound up so I told Rick and Lev I was taking him to the beach to work the wiggles off if they wanted to go off and adult. Rick seemed relieved. Lev asked if I minded if he tagged along so long as he stayed out of the way.
“Geez, you aren’t a piece of furniture. Come on or don’t, just don’t say I didn’t warn you that Benny and I can be a handful.”
“Ha! You two aren’t the only ones with the wiggles.”
On the way to the beach from camp I blew up a beach ball I had snuck into our gear. Benny laughed and once we got to the sand we had a three-way game of “hand ball.”
“Kid has some moves!” Lev said in amazement as Benny played, keeping up with Lev and I.
I responded, “When you have as much energy as Benny and I tend to do, it is wise to put it to constructive use.”
“Ha!” With the sound I am beginning to recognize as his form of laughter.
When we wound down, I ran around in the surf with Benny while Lev took some casual photos. From there we looked for shells. We left them where we found them, but we still had fun looking. At that point Lev’s stomach growled and Benny’s echoed it. I laughed and said, “Time to head back anyway. How does stir fry sound?”
“Amazing,” Lev answered with a silly look on his face causing Benny to laugh even more. Lev may be older than Rick and me, but he still is a bit of a goofball. He reminds me a bit of the guys I used to crew with. Not a bad thing; definitely potential-friend material. What’s more, Benny is very comfortable around him already. That’s something nice to have for Benny’s sake, especially with all the photos and vids that Lev takes during the day. I expected to be bothered by it, like someone was constantly looming over me but nope, not at all. It isn’t that I forget Lev is there, but it is that he doesn’t bother me by being there. I just do our thing, making sure that Benny is learning and having fun, and just ignore the anxiety that hangs out with the hamster.
We got back to camp and the difference between the two men was pretty obvious, even to Benny. Lev offered to walk with Benny to the outdoor shower so they could clean up. It was in sight of the campsite and for whatever reason it didn’t bother me. I think Lev was giving me a chance to see what was up with Rick.
After the two were out of earshot I asked, “Is your uncle okay?”
“Huh? Er … yes.”
“You sure? Because you are looking stressed. If you need more time or whatever …”
“No! Uh … dammit. Sorry. And yes, it is stress but not about you or by you. Not even the job just … lot’s of little stuff adding up.”
“Rick, if you …”. I stopped. “None of my business.”
“But?”
“No buts. I just had to watch some good friends get piled on by their well-meaning family with results that weren’t real constructive. If it is really bothering you …”. I shook my head then shrugged. “Hopefully I’m not going to offend you by saying this but … being grateful for what happened in the past does not mean you lose the right to say no in the present.”
He looked at me and slowly seemed to relax. “You too?”
“Me too what? Giving you wanted advice?”
“No. Not at all. I was just asking if you had similar … situations.”
“Mine was different. Growing up …”. While I was throwing everything into the pot I used to stir fry in I tried to figure out how to explain. “I’ve explained a little about being different, labeled, and all that. The labeling didn’t bother me because I didn’t really know what it meant. I didn’t … basically I didn’t care for whatever reason. But my dad cared and so did other people, not because of the label so much as because of the behaviors and what they would mean for my future. My family helped me to grow up and manage my issues so other people wouldn’t be forced to. They didn’t want to see me get into the kind of trouble that some people in the family had. What I’m trying to say is they set the boundaries and trust me, even not meaning to I could bounce off them like a kid’s bowling ball off of gutter bumpers. I knew they cared. It took me getting older to understand what they cared about and why. Then I lost all of that before I should have and … and I had to start caring about all of the what and why on my own because really quickly I became the what and why for Benny.”
“Uh …”
“I know. I’m getting to the point,” I told him on a laugh to save him some embarrassment. “What I’m trying to say is that I watched what other people, good friends, have had to go through and have felt blessed not to have gone through that kind of struggle myself. There have been times I almost wished I had it to go through because … alone is hella lonely. But mostly I’ve tried to not make the same mistakes. Mistakes my dad made, though he was great all things considered. He was great for the little kid me, not sure if he would have done so great with the older me. My grandfather was fantastic for the me I used to be but I’m not sure how … how much scope I would have had as an adult. What I guess I’m saying is that people care and sometimes they care so much they don’t realize they are handicapping you from growing like you need to. So, love ‘em, tell ‘em you do, never let them forget or think otherwise. But grow however you must because that’s really going to be what shows them you’ve appreciated all they’ve given you. And yeah, I talk big without having to walk in your shoes. But I still act as if my family can see me at all times. That’s my personal gutter bumper these days … and Benny, there’s always Benny.”
“Benny what?” Asked a voice coming up behind me reminding me I need work on my vaunted situational awareness I once had.
“Benny the Bottomless Pit. Speaking of pits … are yours clean and fresh?”
“Aunt Gus!” He choked on a laugh.
“What?” I asked innocently. “Grab the plates and set the table Squirt. Time to shovel some food.”
“Oh yeah!!”
“Indoor voice.”
“But we’re outside!”
“Someone obviously doesn’t want dessert.”
He looked at me and asked, “Who?”
I have him Grandma Barry’s patented Spock eyebrow and he got it the same way I did as a kid.
“Um, sorry.”
“You would be if you had to miss my world famous tortilla fortune cookies
[3].”
Apparently my cooking is appreciated as Rick and Lev volunteered to do clean up while Benny and I walked back out to the beach to watch the sunset. Good gravy it was a glorious one and I even managed to catch it on my phone camera.
When we came back some other rangers had stopped by the campsite. Rick stood up but I waved him back down with a smile and let men be men while Benny and I climbed in the van.
There was a knock and it was Lev. “Rick wants to apologize.”
“For what?” I asked.
“He kinda needs to do the meet and greet thing as info about the grant makes the rounds. He doesn’t want to run you and the boy off.”
“The boy,” I said with a cough. “Needs to hit the hay and I have some work to do as well. Tell Rick … and yourself … to go do the male bonding thing. It doesn’t bother me at all.”
“You sure? One of the guys said you would.”
I snorted. “Look, if something was going to bother me or upset me I’ve got a mouth and I know how to use it. And take it for gospel if I was worried about it affecting Benny I know how to make a lot of noise … and more than just noise for that matter. This? Not a prob. Don’t look to me to make it one either. Capiche?”
“Got it … and thanks.”
“For?”
“Not being a diva.”
“That is the one thing you will never get from me.”
He headed back out and I got Benny to get to bed. I don’t know how late they were hanging out but I was still working on the itinerary, menu, and some other yada yada and realized it had gotten quiet at some point. I looked at my watch and thought “oh crap” so it is now time for me to hit the hay. We are doing a few things tomorrow but some of it is just “housekeeping” like hitting Fort Walton Beach for the laundromat and groceries.
[1] Gator Beach | Fudpucker
[2] Crab Island Visitor's Guide (From FAQs to Rentals) | Destin Florida
[3]
View: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/6755468165147331#imgViewer
; also in Recipe A Day page 10.