A General Comment

[RiJoRi]

First, let me say that I find the stories to be very good.

My only gripe is when an author gets bogged down in inconsequential details:

"He took his .34567 Super-Dooper pistol with its gold-plated handle, 300x Wilson sniper-scope, and Hush-Boy Rad-15 silencer, and got into his 1892 Chevy Camaro with 7700cu. in. V-15 Boxer engine, auto/manual transmission, and purple-striped headlights..."

It's no doubt interesting to those who are interested in such things (plainly, I am not one! ), but otherwise something like "He took his pistol and got into his car" will do just as well.

Finally, let me say that I find the stories to be very good.

Thanks to all of the authors,

--Rich

 

[A.T.Hagan]

It's a valid complaint.

I have done that very thing in some of my stories and I have made the same gripe about some other stories.

How much detail to put in before it distracts from the story is a tough call and every author calls it a bit differently. In here it's especially apparent because of the nature of the writing/posting process where the reader often gets the next installment mere minutes after an author finishes writing it.

.....Alan.

 

[Infoscout]

I believe that if I am going to write survivalist fiction, that I should put as much detail in the story as possible. when it comes to firearms, you want detail, because otherwise you lose perspective. In an example, Tsherry's character has historical based realistic firepower based upon what was inherited, and what the character liked. In my stories, which tend to be more action based, you will get more "paramilitary" based firepower, because basically, that is what I own and the characters in my stories are loosely based upon people I know. Also, You may not be "into" firarms now, but in the future, you may, ie you might decide a semi-auto military style rifle is right for you, therefore you may have this info, free of charge I might add, to base your purchasing on. It is no different than having a story explain how to farm, or grow crops, how to build a greenhouse, or how to generate your own power. The devil is in the details. Information can give you an edge.


Prepping for the great beyond includes many things, firepower is only one small aspect, but information about different kinds of weapons and what they are capable of can give you edge when purchasing said items. I would trust most here, like CFI, or Fleataxi to give that info when you read their stories. These are only examples, but you get my meaning. You get info before you waste your money on something else.


I will continue to add such detail to my story lines, because frankly, that is where par tof my interets lay, and I believe the story would suffer without those details.

The great thing about this board is, if you don't like the style, you don't have to read the story.

Infoscout

 

[Jmurman]

Good comment. In my novel I started I made the mistake of having a great amount of detail. Whe I had my wife start proofing it, she made the complaint about the detail...so I changed it.

In the story Troublemaker I write an try to go to less detail to have a broader audience, which seems to be working as the comments would indicate.

Thanks for your observations!

 

[Tessa Blue]

Details...

How much detail to put into a story is a matter of preference, and you'll never get two people to agree on how much is too much! When I'm writing, I try to put in enough detail to move the story forward without making the reader's eyes glaze over in boredom. Problem is, people's interests vary so widely that what is incredibly interesting to one, may be profoundly boring to another.

When I'm on the reading side of things, if there's too much detail for my taste, but the story is otherwise engaging... I simply skim.

 

[tsherry]

How much detail to put into a story is a matter of preference, and you'll never get two people to agree on how much is too much! When I'm writing, I try to put in enough detail to move the story forward without making the reader's eyes glaze over in boredom. Problem is, people's interests vary so widely that what is incredibly interesting to one, may be profoundly boring to another.

When I'm on the reading side of things, if there's too much detail for my taste, but the story is otherwise engaging... I simply skim.

Which brings up a good question for me.....since some of you just finished reading my story, is there too much detail, enough, or not enough, generally speaking?

Tom S.

 

[Dennis Olson]

That is a very subjective question. I'll answer it this way:

Your story read like any great fictional work I've read. For example, your general level of detail rivals The Grapes of Wrath. Re-read that and see if you agree. (I use that book because it popped into my head just now when thinking about story detail.)

 

[Ultrconservative]

I have to agree with several comments posted here.

To wit:

That is a very subjective question. I'll answer it this way:

Your story read like any great finctional work I've read. For example, your general level of detail rivals The Grapes of Wrath. Re-read that and see if you agree. (I use that book because it popped into my head just now when thinking about story detail.)


And

When I'm on the reading side of things, if there's too much detail for my taste, but the story is otherwise engaging... I simply skim.

And


I will continue to add such detail to my story lines, because frankly, that is where part of my interets lay, and I believe the story would suffer without those details.

The great thing about this board is, if you don't like the style, you don't have to read the story.


And further I will add that, such things tend to define a particular author's style.

I am reminded of two type of books I read as a young man. Louis La'moore (sp?) and George?????

First author wrote westerns.....millions of westerns.

Second guy wrote after TSHTF type fiction

Other than their level of detail as regards weaponary, they had similar plot lines and character developement and writing styles in general.

And I enjoyed them both equally.

I don't think their works would have been as enjoyable if they had swapped styles and tried to write.

 

[Dennis Olson]

Louis L'amour

Got a title of a book by the other guy?

 

[polarman]

Could that be George R. Stewart who wrote "Earth Abides" where pandemic survivors find each other and build comunities initially based on scavanging?

 

[Christian for Israel]

it's a fine line an author has to walk. too little detail and it's hard to really get into the story, sometimes to even understand what the author is trying to say. too much detail and some readers will be bored. authors are people too, and writing is a learning experience. some of us (like myself) lack much detail in character development, and folks' comments reflect that. others go overboard and receive those kinds of comments.

my question to you would be, which story had too much detail and did you mention it to the author? if not, how can you expect him or her to learn and grow? it's comments from readers that help us see where we need to improve or change, and that's the main reason many of us post stories in a public forum. as for your preference not to have great detail in guns or cars, are there any areas where you think there needs to be more detail? if so, communicate that to the author so that he can take another look at his work and see if he could improve on it.

also remember that some folks here will comment on the lack of detail in the very area you think there's too much. they may also say there's too much in areas where you think there's too little. writing to please everyone is nearly impossible...all we can do is listen to people's ideas and try to do better next time.

 

[Jmurman]

it's a fine line an author has to walk. too little detail and it's hard to really get into the story, sometimes to even understand what the author is trying to say. too much detail and some readers will be bored. authors are people too, and writing is a learning experience. some of us (like myself) lack much detail in character development, and folks' comments reflect that. others go overboard and receive those kinds of comments.

my question to you would be, which story had too much detail and did you mention it to the author? if not, how can you expect him or her to learn and grow? it's comments from readers that help us see where we need to improve or change, and that's the main reason many of us post stories in a public forum. as for your preference not to have great detail in guns or cars, are there any areas where you think there needs to be more detail? if so, communicate that to the author so that he can take another look at his work and see if he could improve on it.

also remember that some folks here will comment on the lack of detail in the very area you think there's too much. they may also say there's too much in areas where you think there's too little. writing to please everyone is nearly impossible...all we can do is listen to people's ideas and try to do better next time.

Well said. It can be very hard on us who write and dont get comments, but lot's of views. I know that there are areas in my story that can be improved on and when I make a mistake I do appreciate being corrected..I also like having other comments.

I'll give as an example, in my story the plot had evolved to include two characters. Now, it wasn't his way when I wrote my outline, it just evolved this way. The two characters had 'intimate relations'. Guess what? I had never had written any scene like that before and didn't know HOW to do it in a way that would be acceptable to the readers here...definately virgin terrority for me (pardon the pun). Now, there wasn;t a word written about it, and thats cool but I sure would like to know wether it was too much or too little or just right.

I used to have my wife proof read my material, especiallly on the novel...but what is nice woth the site here is that we can get immediate feedback, like comments or views.

Just my .002, well maybe .004
Jerry

 

[Fleataxi]

RiJoRi:

Just to add my $.02

After writing over 20 stories in the last 2 years, I find my level of detail fluctuates with the story. If the story is about someone who builds up a huge collection of weapons to fight off the MZB's of course I'll talk about the weapons in great detail.

Otherwise, I will adjust the level of details to match my pacing, audience, and how many pages I want to use to describe the current events.

As CFI and Jurman have already said, we post our stories here in the hopes that you will act as an "editorial board" and help us fix the stories before they're published.

At Frugal Squirrel's forum, we have 2 forums for Patriot Fiction. Works in Progress, and Completed Works. We post the stories a chapter at a time, and encourage comments to improve our writing. Once the story is complete and edited, we post it in the other forum were readers can read our final edited story in it's entirety.

We appreciate ALL comments! So far I've got 1/5 the number of comments per chapter here that I get at Frugal's, and my read count would indicate that enough people are reading it that I should have 5 times as many comments as I have.

Fleataxi

 

[Ultrconservative]

Originaly posted by C for I

my question to you would be, which story had too much detail and did you mention it to the author? if not, how can you expect him or her to learn and grow? it's comments from readers that help us see where we need to improve or change, and that's the main reason many of us post stories in a public forum.

Case in point in my story, some one made a comment about the character Marie, causing me to realize I was making her look mean.

I didn't intend to do so and the comment allowed me to embelish and develope her motivation a little better (I hope).

I actually appreciate all coments, good bad or indiverent. They force me to confront my writing style with the hope that over time it will improve.

I know what I am trying to write, but if the reader doesn't get the message, or quits reading because I am boring them to tears,what point is there to even write the story?

 

[A.T.Hagan]

Getting meaningful feedback about a story is always a problem.

Hopefully this might help a bit, both this thread and a sticky I just posted at the top of the forum here: http://www.timebomb2000.com/vb/showthread.php?t=151745

Folks, we can't get any better if we can't get any idea of how we're doing. It's always nice to hear that you liked a story, but meaingful feedback is best of all.

Tell us what you think works and doesn't work so that we can improve!

.....Alan.

 

[Christian for Israel]

I'll give as an example, in my story the plot had evolved to include two characters. Now, it wasn't his way when I wrote my outline, it just evolved this way. The two characters had 'intimate relations'. Guess what? I had never had written any scene like that before and didn't know HOW to do it in a way that would be acceptable to the readers here...definately virgin terrority for me (pardon the pun). Now, there wasn;t a word written about it, and thats cool but I sure would like to know wether it was too much or too little or just right.

lol! i DEFINATELY know what you mean bro. not only did my story have a mind of it's own (i didn't even know eric was going to die until right before i wrote it...i broke down and cried when i realized where the story was headed), but it took me in directions i never even realized i would have to go. writing about weddings, funerals and even births was definately an unexpected experience!

 

[Jmurman]

lol! i DEFINATELY know what you mean bro. not only did my story have a mind of it's own (i didn't even know eric was going to die until right before i wrote it...i broke down and cried when i realized where the story was headed), but it took me in directions i never even realized i would have to go. writing about weddings, funerals and even births was definately an unexpected experience!

I would never in a million years have thought that I could get emotional writing a story. I did the same as you, in that I had tears when writing a particular scene.

I now know what JK Rowling meant when she said that she had to kill off one of her characters and it made her cry for three days.

Either we are blessed with the writing ability or cursed..I haven't figured out which.

 

[Christian for Israel]

Either we are blessed with the writing ability or cursed..I haven't figured out which.

you got that right.

 

[RiJoRi]

"Did I do that??"

My purpose in writing a general comment was to make my comment without getting into an argument ("Too much detail!" -- "No it ain't!" -- "Yes it is!") with the author(s). And, as I noted, some people do enjoy the degree of detail; I still don't think it adds much value to the story. This is my opinion -- YMMV.

Again, I enjoy the stories here.

--Rich

 

[Christian for Israel]

it's ok rich, but comments to the authors DO help us write better and are appreciated.

 

[Deena in GA]

Hmmm.....I appreciate, and have said so repeatedly, all the authors who share their stories with us here. I read this thread when first posted and had to really think about what to say, especially about the detail issue. There have been stories that were too detailed for my taste, but as TessaBlue said, I just skim those parts and concentrate on the parts that I like. Some stories appeal to me more than others, but that's just me. I think what you have here on this forum are men who are into survivalism and REALLY into guns and women who are into preparedness mostly for how it relates to taking care of our families. Having said that, I do believe we all need guns and need to know what gun would be best for us. Some people will (more men I bet) will love all the info about guns, other weapons, etc while some prefer something more general and some just love a good story no matter what shape it takes.

I have refrained in the past from making specific comments simply because I understand that everyone is different and likes different types of stories. Have to admit, though, that there have been times when I've wanted to offer to proofread and correct misspellings, typos, etc. Bad spelling is a pet peeve of mine, so if anyone would like me to proofread, I'd be glad to, lol.

 

[A.T.Hagan]

PLEASE do give us specific comments! Just be sure to put it in the commentary threads for the individual stories.

Getting meaningful feedback is the most difficult part of this whole writing process I have discovered and I'm sure the other authors feel the same way.

If something in a story doesn't work for you tell us!

We might or might not change what was written, but at the very least we'll have some better idea of how things are coming across. Personally, for me, I find writing from a woman's point of view, worse still a young girl, to be very challenging. Sometimes I can get my wife to read over something for me, but often enough I can't if I'm going to get a piece posted in a reasonable time frame. That sort of feedback is invaluable.

Grammar and spelling are always a problem, but that's because you folks want your next story posts now, Now, NOW! As many I'm sure would agree it's tough to edit your own text when you've just written it and it's still very fresh in your mind. I know what I said, which sometimes isn't exactly the same as what I really did say. I put the original <i>We Interrupt This Program...</i> story down for several months before I started doing any serious polishing on it. This let the actual text grow vague enough in my mind that I could see what I really wrote rather than what I knew I wrote. The other authors are much the same, I'm sure, the ones that tend to write and post the same day.

But spelling and grammar are easy to fix. Stories that have weak spots, wooden characters, bad plotting, jerky development, technical gaffes, and all that sort of stuff are not easy to fix. Not by ourselves anyway because we authors are a part of the stories we write. Chances are someone on the outside reading the story will see such things more easily than we can.

For those of you who have read <i>We Interrupt This Program...</i> and who were there reading it as it was being written, especially those of you who commented at the time I really really appreciated the comments that pointed out stuff. When they came in time for me to be able to use them I did and the story was the better for it. That's why I left them all in the story thread all this time because to me they are an integral part of the story now.

.....Alan.

 

[Christian for Israel]

deena, spelling and grammar are pet peeves of mine as well, but as alan said, sometimes it's hard for those of us who write to proof our own work. if you'd like to proof my story, along with offering ideas for how to improve it (or even how to end it, lol), i would be grateful.