CHAPTER 13
We were all in the middle of eating when Bam-Bam decides he wants to sit up and they get their first look at his outfit. There was a surprised snicker when his head pops out of the sling with the orange fleece, pom-pom topped hat that I’d made to match the rest of the outfit. Then the snickers came my way when I signed “duck” and said duck and then quack before giving him his wubbie duck.
“What the hell is that?” Dallas asks trying not to choke on a piece of ham.
“Just ignore it,” I told him. “I know we look like a couple of circus clowns in these get ups, but we are warm circus clowns.”
That’s when the broom patrol showed up and Nurse Gilroy looks all stunned and amazed and says, “Are you teaching him Sign Language? At his age?”
I wipe my mouth and answer, “Baby ASL … at least for now.”
“You didn’t mention a hearing deficit.”
“Because he doesn’t have one.”
“And you?”
“Not anymore now that all the surgeries aren’t squeezing my ear canals shut.”
“Pardon?”
As quickly as I could I said, “In case this big honking scar on my lip hasn’t clued everyone in, I was born with a cleft palate. I was non-verbal when I was first adopted. Once Momma started giving me a lot more one-on-one attention than foster care was equipped to provide, I picked up sign language and from there I was able to communicate with the people around me. I didn’t start talking decent until I was school age and even then I stuttered and lisped for a while. But during the surgeries to fix my mouth from all the deformations and scar repair, talking was pretty impossible so I kept up with the ASL. The end.”
Nurse Gilroy tapped something on her tablet as she pursed her lips, but she didn’t hassle me about it anymore and instead said, “Let me know if there are any results from your attempts to teach Blake ASL. It would be interesting to tabulate it along with your other test scores. As for the new uniform he is sporting, congratulations. Chief Larkin in textiles will want to see it. Water bottle?”
I picked it up and shook it. “I’ll fill it up before we leave.”
“Good. You still need to up your intake. Today should help with that.”
After she flew off to pester someone else I muttered, “Oh that gives such a warm and fuzzy feeling.” A little louder I asked the other at the table, “Anyone have any idea what we are in for today?”
Jan and Jen shrugged and weren’t really caring, the three guys on the other hands became cranky all over again.
“Okay, what gives? You’ve had your caffeine injection so it can’t be that.”
It looked like Dallas was about to unload on me but then something surprised him. Surprised the rest of us too for that matter.
Quiet Guy, in his barely audible broken glass and gravel voice, growled, “Tests.”
“Tests. Academic tests? Wait you mean the … the stamina and strength whatevers we are supposed to do today?”
He nodded and then Dallas hunched his shoulders and muttered, “We’re going to fail them.”
“Why?”
He looked at me like an offended feline. “Girl are you blind?!”
“You mean you think your amputation is going to make you fail?”
Everyone at the table stopped eating and just stared at me like I’d just picked a booger out of my nose and ate it.
Jan sighed and put her fork down. “Doe.”
“Look, I get it … or some of it. Everyone apparently has a thing here. I got told off yesterday because I was a little snotty about VR addicts. Fine. She was right. I was being thoughtless. But I’m not doing that now, I’m just stating a fact. And asking a question because I want to understand. Because to me that doesn’t make sense. Why would they intentionally fail someone that just started just because of one part of one of these tests we are all taking? So far all they’ve done is use these tests as a baseline starting point to create … something … a lesson plan sort of thing I guess. And to figure out what career track we fit into. They knew they were amputees before they even got their number to come to The Farm. The way … look … it just doesn’t make sense to me. So Dallas and Cooper are never going to be a Sherpa on Mt. Everest. Well duh. That doesn’t mean there aren’t other things they can do. At least they can when they get over their ‘I can’t’ attitude because they are missing a non-life-threatening body part.”
Everyone at the table just kept looking at me angrily. I hadn’t realized until that moment how much it meant to feel part of a group and suddenly … I wasn’t. Rather than let them see how much that hurt I slowly and carefully got up and took my tray to the trash and then the cleaners and walked outside. As if I wasn’t already feeling badly enough that’s when I heard, “Trainee McCormick!”
I turned to find Lincoln and Markham. I nodded, not trusting my voice.
“You ready?”
“For?” I said, sniffing because my nose wanted to run even if I had managed to stop my eyes from doing it.
“Strength and stamina testing.”
“Yeah. Just tell me what I have to do.”
As I followed them, they explained that I was the only new trainee with a kid that semester. Normally, because of the kids in tow, child and family conducted this section of the testing but they had their hands full prepping the graduating class that had a high percentage of kids in it. “They are making sure everyone’s Ident Papers are up to date with recent head shots, that vaccines are up to date for the location they are going, and that sort of thing. That means you are going to have to test in a different group.”
“I take it I’m officially a problem then.”
“Eh, not too much but there’s standard stuff you have to do and carrying a kid is going to make it more difficult.”
To say the least. Geez. There was the ‘standard stuff’ like we used to do when we had to pass the Presidential Physical Fitness challenge in school … mile run, sit ups, pull ups, and push-ups. But then there were also things like how much weight could I lift, how many flights of stairs could I climb in so many minutes. I had to take most of those tests twice and then between each test there were tests that tracked stuff I didn’t get at the time and some I still don’t, like how long it took me to put certain colored blocks into the order they assigned, how well could I lift awkwardly shaped objects of various weights, answering the kinds of stupid questions on tests I had always hated like the one that says “A little girl kicks a ball, it goes ten feet and comes back to her. How did that happen?” Gravity stupid … she kicked it into the air. Or this lovely nugget. “A rooster laid an egg on top of the barn roof. Which way did it roll? (It didn’t – since when did roosters start laying eggs?)
The audience I had to these spectacular bits of stupidity was even grander. Apparently, kids from the local high school test at The Farm. But not just any kids, oh no. Kids who wanted an internship or whatever for the upcoming summer. And also apparently, there are physical requirements for it … which means they were all basically super in-shape and super enthusiastic to prove how in-shape they were. They also kept looking at me like I was an animal in the zoo. It sucked so bad. I did everything but the two mile-runs with Bam-Bam strapped to me in his sling. Not that there was anyone there that I trusted to hold him so that I could do the tests, but it was just extremely lame. But I didn’t have a choice for the mile-run and to say that his Majesty Bam-Bam the First was not pleased was a big-time understatement. His screaming is what drove me to finish each run as fast as I could. Second one I nearly puked. I don’t know if it was because of the run, or the water I’d drunk, or because of the anxiety of hearing him scream. I had to nurse him after each run just to get him to calm down which irritated the others for being held up. And that was just the morning.
Lunch was spent standing around eating a bag o’ food from the mess hall because it was too wet to sit on the ground. It was also ridiculously cold in my gym clothes even with my boots still on.
Chief Jackson chose that moment to show up and make things even better. “How’s the feet Trainee?”
Without thinking I said, “They’re considering filing a complaint against me for cruel and unusual. But hey, it’s all good. The legs and back are talking about joining and turning it into a Class Action.”
I caught him and several of the others standing around off guard and saw them trying to cover surprised chuckles. Chief Jackson finally shook his head and said, “I want to see if you still have the energy for that kind of sass after the afternoon session.”
“I’ll let you know after I finish reading the undertaker’s report on my lifeless body.”
He snorted, shook his head and then nodded to Lincoln and Markham who were looking at me like perhaps they needed to call Nurse Gilroy.
After lunch we repeated several of the tests from the morning but added some creative ones like a scavenger hunt where I was required to do certain things to get from point a to point b … like use a compass, ride an unprogrammed hover board, guesstimate the cardinal directions like north and south, climb different things to reach the clue to the next point. I had to change a tire, and surprised everyone was that I knew how because some of the intern-applicants didn’t. There was the “clean this garden tool shed in fifteen minutes or less” little ditty that made me so irritable I almost threw something because I had to keep bending over and picking up stuff that had been thrown onto the ground and Bam-Bam hated it so much he urped all over me and his stomach was sour from his earlier upsets. The dumb logic questions of the afternoon included such winning pieces such as a truck driver is going down a one-way street the wrong way, and passes at least ten cops. Why is he not caught? (Because he was not driving! He’s walking on the sidewalk.) And how can a man go eight days without sleep? (By sleeping during the night time). The last test was a five-mile run. I wasn’t feeling too great by that point and the idea of being separated from Bam-Bam and knowing he was going to be screaming the entire time had my chest so tight I could barely breathe. Sure enough within a minute of me starting I could hear him screaming. I knew the only way for me to make it stop was to reach him as fast as I could. His screams just kept spiraling up and it made me a little nutso. I pushed myself to hurry, hurry. Then his screams stopped and that freaked me out even more. It felt like my feet weren’t even touching the ground and all sorts of horrible things were going through my head of why he wasn’t screaming anymore. That’s when things got really weird. I fell a couple of times, I remember that much. I also remember spotting someone holding Bam-Bam and running passed the finish line straight at them. I remember reaching for him but then it was lights out.
# # # # #
I came back around to the sound of people fussing. Jan said, “Chay … hey man … c’mon. You know us right? All we want to do is get Doe some of this crap sports drink. She’s probably dehydrated.”
Jen added, “Chay you gotta stop. No one is out to hurt them. C’mon … enough with making a scene.”
I heard Dallas and Cooper telling someone that turned out to be Nurse Gilroy, “It was the kid screaming that did it. He had to watch them torturing little kids in front of their parents in that hell hole. Just give him a minute to realign his reality. He’s coming around, at least he ain’t doing that growling shit anymore and took the blanket that Chief Jackson tossed him and wrapped them up in it.”
My brain started making connections – at least of a sort – and I must have gasped and made a grab for Bam-Bam only to find he was already in my arms. And I was being held in someone else’s arms. And those arms were shaking pretty badly. My eyes focused and Quiet Guy had his back to a tree and a completely panicked look on his face like he wasn’t quite sure what was going on.
Slowly I said, “I’m back. Can you set me down?”
The clearing we were in became silent and Quiet Guy’s eyes were nearly rolling around in his head while he tried to watch everyone around us and me at that same time.
“Please? Just go easy. My head is not wanting to fire on all pistons. And my stomach …” I gagged but managed not to puke.
It took a moment but that’s what he did, but he absolutely would not let anyone near me yet. They started making noise at him and I finally snapped, “Back the frick off already. You are not helping. He’ll be fine just give it a sec. He’s in full-blown sheep dog mode right now and having issues with the space/time continuum.”
Jan said, “Doe, scare the hell out of everyone next time.”
“Sorry. The idea don’t thrill me either. What happened?” I asked as I slid down and essentially just sat on Quiet Guys booted feet because my legs felt like over-cooked noodles.
“Your kid has a set of lungs an Olympic runner would envy. We heard him a couple of times in the morning, but it wasn’t until he stopped the second time that we realized how stressed it was making Chay. The first time after lunch Chay body slammed the guy he was wrestling and nearly walked off, but Chief Jackson got him focused by saying we were almost finished and then we could come pick you up. Tests were over and we decided to head this way when the Kid starts screaming again but doesn’t stop this time. Chay takes off and by the time we show up he’s taken him from the girl that was holding him and surprise surprise the Kiddo stopped screaming though he was still some hot and bothered for a few minutes and then Chay does that thing you did at breakfast … that duck thing … and gives the kid his toy and wham, bam the kid calms down all the way and takes turn chewing on the toy and on Chay’s collar. The kid is calm, Chay still isn’t with it but he’s calm, only then you come stumbling into the picture looking fried extra well done on both sides and when you pass out right at Chay’s feet Chay goes bye-bye and out pops this growling guard dog. He wasn’t letting anyone near you. Still isn’t but you need to … er …”
I was still some upset myself and just leaned into Quiet Guy’s legs like I had when I had to take care of that abandoned baby and said, “They made me leave Bam-Bam and do these stupid runs.”
“Yeah, we had to do stupid tests too.”
“So? Did you have to give up your kid to perform?”
Things were getting quiet again. “Hey now Doe. It’s okay. Everything is copacetic. Don’t upset Chay again. He’s just now started to calm down.”
I wanted to snark and say something nasty but that’s when Quiet Guy bends down and wraps the blanket around us again. I just want everyone to go away. I just want them to go away and stop staring like I was some kind of freak show they’d bought tickets to watch. Since they wouldn’t go away, I decided I was going to go away. I close my eyes and it was like shutting everyone off.
That’s when I heard Chief Jackson ask, “Trahern, can you carry her and the kid to the clinic?”
I felt myself get picked up but I was pretty disconnected. Next thing I can say for sure is that I am pitching a hissy and striking out until arms come around me so I can’t swing and claw and a gravely voice says, “S’ok. S’ok. S’ok.”
I stop and everyone can see that I’m shocked. “Oh … oh … oh …” Then I look at my hands and a couple of the nails are ripped and all I can think to say is, “Please tell me I didn’t hurt anyone. Please … please …”
“S’ok now.”
I look down and there are a couple of bloody furrows on his arms and I cry like I haven’t in a long, long time. “I’m sorry. So sorry.” Then I start jittering and asking for Bam-Bam.
“Coming. Back.” And then he sounds like he is gagging.
“What’s wrong?!”
He lets go and rubs his throat.
“It … it hurts to talk?”
He nods.
“Then don’t.”
That’s when I see nurse Gilroy has a baby thermometer stuck in Bam-Bam’s ear. “What’s wrong with him?!”
“Blake or Trahern?” she asks absentmindedly, ignoring the near hysteria in my voice.
A snort and I turn and see Chief Madison there and she steps forward. “I believe McCormick is back in the here and now Trahern. Get those scratches cleaned.”
I really didn’t mean to but I grabbed Quiet Guy’s coat sleeve. “S’ok,” he whispered. “Ba – bee there. S’ok.”
Chief Madison asked, “You done with the kid yet? We’re losing her.”
“Has the investigation been completed?”
“Yeah. It was one of the intern-applicants. The way he is telling it a male approached him on his school grounds claiming to be an inspector of some type and that this was a secret test. He promised to take care of the kids’ parents’ debts if he did this one, small favor. But that if he didn’t, he’d make sure the boy’s parents lost their business. The boy said he was assured that no one would be hurt during the ‘test.’ Judge Haygood is leading the follow up on it. The parents of the other three students affected are getting interviewed in town.”
Nurse Gilroy brought Bam-Bam over but stopped just out of reach and said, “Doe, I need you to look at me and nod your understanding.” I nodded. “The water supply you drank from was dosed. Do you understand?”
It was like my neurons were mired in sticky tar and it was making it hard to push thoughts along. Slowly I nodded though I was still piecing what she was saying together so it made sense.
“It was a very mild pharmacological. So far there has been no discernable effect on Blake but you’re both going to remain in the Clinic overnight for further observation. Doe, I need you to nod if you understood what I just explained.”
“Heard it, only kinda sorta makes sense. There’s chunks that seemed to be missing. Did I get people in trouble? Did … did I hurt … someone?”
Quiet Guy pats my arm and whispers, “S’ok.”
“No it’s not,” I say miserably.
Nurse Gilroy hands me Bam-Bam and says, “Actually Trainee Trahern is correct. Everything is fine. No one is in trouble. At least none of the trainees are. Let Trahern go clean up so he can grab dinner. We’re going to get you and Blake washed up. I want to push some fluids through to help you get the hallucinogen out of your system faster.”
It was embarrassing but when Quiet Guy left I felt like crying again. “What is this stuff?! I never cry … not since I had about twelve hours of the Baby Blues and … and not even before that since Momma … since … for a long time. I didn’t cry even when … gah! Will sticking my finger down my throat to upchuck help get this out of my system?”
“No it will not,” she said firmly. “You don’t want to know how displeased I will be if you do that.” She gave me the eye nearly as well as Momma could have done it. To Chief Madison she said, “Margie if you have a sec, help me walk her to the infirmary showers. I’ll take it from there, but I want to make sure she is steady on her feet.”