GOV/MIL UK to Order Third Carrier Due to Russian Threat - !!! APRIL FOOL !!!

Red Baron

Paleo-Conservative
_______________
Fair Use Cited
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UK to Order Third Carrier Due to Russian Threat

By Avril Fuller - April 1, 2024

A leaked consultation document appears to suggest that the Royal Navy will now order a third Queen Elizabeth class aircraft carrier in response to a resurgent Russia.

Sources in the MoD stress that the new ship, HMS Princess Diana, will incorporate lessons learned in the design and build stages of the first two vessels of the class.

In light of this development, we’ve spoken to experts involved with the planning consultation. Bryan Robertson, an analyst at defence think tank DMCS (Daily Mail Comment Section), had this to say:

“Waste of funds & Human Life! One correctly placed Smart-Bomb will see Today’s heap of steel turn into Tomorrows heap of Scrap! H.M.S. Hood took the Ultimate Killing Shell way back in WW2 DESPITE AIRCRAFT; No Smart-Bombs then, and the Germans sent the Flagship of the Royal Navy to the bottom, no problem! What Government ‘FOOL’ proposed this latest Folly? Who is paying him? WE ARE. Such vast vessels have no place in modern times. Time for the OLD Timers to Grow UP!! Have they not heard of the Internet?”

The first two vessels will be completed in a Short Take-Off and Vertical Landing configuration, deploying the Lockheed Martin F-35B, while the third will feature six catapults and deploy “modern Harriers or something, or naval Typhoon”.

The third vessel will be 480 metres long and have an air group of up to infinity-hundred aircraft. The projected cost of the programme including the third ship is now £187.6 billion.

Excerpts from the leaked consultation document are extremely detailed in just what needs to be changed for the third vessel to be a “proper carrier”. Local park based defence analyst, Michael Greene, has recommended the following:

“The MORONS at the government should order aircraft or we’ll end up with an AIRCRAFTLESS carrier.”

Other changes recommended by the experts consulted include stationing Trident missiles on the vessel, purchasing a fleet F-4 Phantoms, painting go faster stripes on the hull and additional crayon provision.

 

Grumphau

Veteran Member
Makes me wonder how many of those (FAB500?) glide bombs the Russians could send at a carrier at once. Could they overwhelm the onboard defenses?
 
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ArisenCarcass

Veteran Member
The article really says that UK is buying ONE modern carrier, and already has 2 LHDs.
LHDs are small decks similar in size to WWII carriers, with no catapults and only allow VTOL or STOVL planes.
Only unknowledgeable people group them together....This includes US media, which LOVES to artificially inflate our number of "carriers" (Which is often reported as 20 and includes all of our LHDs and LHAs).

At 480m, the Diana will be significantly larger than its predecessors (284m), and with catapults and arresting gear will be more in line with modern US carriers, albeit conventional and not nuclear.

Considering the negatives associated with neutered STOVL/VTOL aircraft, all of the small decks are better serving as Helo and Drone carriers.
Of course, for the price of the new ships they could convert several double hulled oil barges and container ships to be drone/helo carriers.
They are cheap (comparatively), have low manning requirements, have proven seaworthiness, and are available.
It is the mass-produced, low-tech, low-cost solution.
But the defense contractors wouldn't make billions off of it.

JMHO
 

ssbn642blue

Veteran Member
“Waste of funds & Human Life! One correctly placed Smart-Bomb will see Today’s heap of steel turn into Tomorrows heap of Scrap! H.M.S. Hood took the Ultimate Killing Shell way back in WW2 DESPITE AIRCRAFT; No Smart-Bombs then, and the Germans sent the Flagship of the Royal Navy to the bottom, no problem! What Government ‘FOOL’ proposed this latest Folly? Who is paying him? WE ARE. Such vast vessels have no place in modern times. Time for the OLD Timers to Grow UP!! Have they not heard of the Internet?”

Oh' the Soy Boys are finally going to war???
 

OldArcher

Has No Life - Lives on TB
Fair Use Cited
----------------
UK to Order Third Carrier Due to Russian Threat

By Avril Fuller - April 1, 2024

A leaked consultation document appears to suggest that the Royal Navy will now order a third Queen Elizabeth class aircraft carrier in response to a resurgent Russia.

Sources in the MoD stress that the new ship, HMS Princess Diana, will incorporate lessons learned in the design and build stages of the first two vessels of the class.

In light of this development, we’ve spoken to experts involved with the planning consultation. Bryan Robertson, an analyst at defence think tank DMCS (Daily Mail Comment Section), had this to say:

“Waste of funds & Human Life! One correctly placed Smart-Bomb will see Today’s heap of steel turn into Tomorrows heap of Scrap! H.M.S. Hood took the Ultimate Killing Shell way back in WW2 DESPITE AIRCRAFT; No Smart-Bombs then, and the Germans sent the Flagship of the Royal Navy to the bottom, no problem! What Government ‘FOOL’ proposed this latest Folly? Who is paying him? WE ARE. Such vast vessels have no place in modern times. Time for the OLD Timers to Grow UP!! Have they not heard of the Internet?”

The first two vessels will be completed in a Short Take-Off and Vertical Landing configuration, deploying the Lockheed Martin F-35B, while the third will feature six catapults and deploy “modern Harriers or something, or naval Typhoon”.

The third vessel will be 480 metres long and have an air group of up to infinity-hundred aircraft. The projected cost of the programme including the third ship is now £187.6 billion.

Excerpts from the leaked consultation document are extremely detailed in just what needs to be changed for the third vessel to be a “proper carrier”. Local park based defence analyst, Michael Greene, has recommended the following:

“The MORONS at the government should order aircraft or we’ll end up with an AIRCRAFTLESS carrier.”

Other changes recommended by the experts consulted include stationing Trident missiles on the vessel, purchasing a fleet F-4 Phantoms, painting go faster stripes on the hull and additional crayon provision.

It would be better for the Brits, if they finally got their present two flattops properly functioning. Their performance has been less than stellar. They seem, institutionally, to be severely lacking in the realm of damage control. If the Brits don’t get their priorities taken care of, Davy Jones will have a new slew of boarders…

OA
 

tanstaafl

Has No Life - Lives on TB
From funding to final shakeout cruise is, what, somewhere between five and ten years?

"Construction of the [Prince of Wales] began in 2011 at Rosyth Dockyard and ended with launch on 21 December 2017. She was handed over to the Royal Navy in 2019."
 

Red Baron

Paleo-Conservative
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Many folks need to read the original article more closely.

It's also a good idea to always read the comments before posting.
 
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