Story The Great DC Russian Vodka Bomb Scare - Short Story

[Old Gray Mare]

The DC Russian Vodka Bomb

Introduction​

The story takes place at the Navy Yard in Southeast Washington, D.C. According to Wikipedia it's the oldest shore establishment the U.S. Navy has. Yes the reported story is true and happened decades ago back in late '70 or early 80's, still during the Cold War. I've taken some liberties but the facts are basically as I originally heard them from an Military Contractor while working for a Beltway Bandit. Characters and details are the creation of a vivid imagination and the experience of working in DC at the time.

The Delivery​

The beautiful spring day in Washington DC was being enjoy by tourists and those few commuters who'd gotten up early enough to not have to hurry while fighting the already heavy rush hour traffic. DC is a labyrinth of narrow streets never designed to handle the cars or volume of traffic that assaults them each weekday morning and evening.

The driver of one car had no time or desire to appreciate the profusion of cherry blossoms decorating the tidal basin and parks near the Washington memorial. The delicate clouds of pink flowers were a reward for surviving another damp, dreary DC winter. The driver continued to fight his way through the rush hour traffic down Maine Avenue to M Street, heading toward southeast DC. finally turning onto less congested side streets as he neared his destination.

He ignored the traffic signs and treated the lines on the streets as decorations. A DC cop witnessed his creative maneuverings to avoid traffic and accelerate thru an intersection under a red light. The officer sighed in frustration after seeing the "D" preceding the letting on the car's licence plate. The diplomatic tags provide the driver immunity to traffic laws but not those of physics. Those laws may catch up to him eventually. The cop said a silent prayer he wouldn't take anyone else with him when they did.

The driver drove past an entrance sign stating: "Washington Navy Yard" and parked in a no parking zone. Exiting the car, he paused taking a package out of the back seat. He hurriedly approached what appeared to be the Yard's main entrance, pushed thru the doors and approached the desk. He dropped the package on the deck muttering something in Russian or English so heavily accented that it didn't matter which, then left as fast as he came. The low rank manning the desk had been assisting an officer when he noticed the now unattended package. He looked up just in time to see the man exiting the building.

Turning pale he addressed the officer, "Sir excuse me please I need to call security. Now!". The officer looked at the lowly E2 like he about to have his liver for a light snack when he heard; "Security? We have an unattended package in the lobby. It was dropped off by someone with a foreign accent." A short pause followed by: "Sounded Russian? Eastern European maybe?" and a "YES SIR! RIGHT AWAY SIR!". The E2 and officer were now staring intently at the unoffending looking package.

A claxton sounded and the E2 shouted over the alarm; "The lobby needs to be cleared immediately....Sir!?!". Uniformed Navy Police ran into the lobby and assisted with clearing it, directing staff evacuating the building to exits other than the one in the lobby and ensuring no one approached the doors inadvertently.

​

 

[Old Gray Mare]

The Bomb​

A military truck pulled up to the newly created check point outside the building and down the street from the entrance. It was hopefully far enough away that shards of glass from an imminent explosion wouldn't reach.

Inside the vehicle a small military bomb squad assisted one of its members struggling to get into a padded bomb suit and adjusted their helmet that would have looked more at home on a space mission. Nothing was said. They'd been trained for this. They had a job to do and they were going to do it.

The truck parked where directed and the squad exited the truck, the Bomb Suited member did so somewhat awkwardly. Seeing the site security officer, two members of the squad peeled off to talk to him. One remained behind to double check the coms in the suited members helmet. After a quick conference the suited member entered the building to access the situation.

The unassuming package remained where it had been delivered on the front desk. The lobby was quiet. The alarm had mercifully been switched off. The only noise was the sailors footsteps and the sound of his heart pounding in his ears. The box appeared to be wood, painted black like a case. It measured about twenty inches long, maybe a foot wide and eight inches deep. There appeared to be no marking or note on the exterior. This information was meticulously relaid to the members waiting outside.

A small trolly was delivered to the door. A small bead of sweat slowly made its way unnoticed down the side of the sailor's face as he transferred the package to the cart. He took exquisit care to keep the package perfectly level as the slow transit was completed. Then with equally dedicated care the package was removed from building to the center of the Navy Yard parking lot that for the first time in remember history was vacant of all vehicles and traffic.

A device was placed next to the package and the sailor backed away from it with practiced hast. Shortly there after an explosion was heard emanating from the parking lot along with a plume of smoke.

A report was made. It ended with the statement: "... the Military Bomb Squad detonated two bottles of vodka sent by the Soviet naval attache's office to the Washington Navy Yard which were utterly and totally destroyed.".

The end.

 

[ted]

Thank you.

 

[ydderf]

Thank you