I'll try and get something up at some point. Preparing to leave for the BOL but I don't know if we'll head out tonight or tomorrow. It's certainly been a Monday around the Florida chicken coop.
The Geek Shall Inherit the Earth
- Thread starter Kathy in FL
- Start date
I'll try and get something up at some point. Preparing to leave for the BOL but I don't know if we'll head out tonight or tomorrow. It's certainly been a Monday around the Florida chicken coop.
They Just Don’t Make Emperors Like They Used To
Part 2
Marty didn’t last out the week. Three days after Jax brought her to me she slipped into a comma; her body unable to support the damage that had been done to it, the mental stress of her ordeal, and the symptoms of withdrawal. I dug a grave for her in the family cemetery not too far from the memorial for my parents and brother. I still make sure and put fresh flowers on her stone for her birthday every year, more for me than her; I’m sure she is some place far better and probably doesn’t care one way or the other.
The only person that gave me a hassle about how I’d done everything was Lil’ Miss Queen of the ‘Tudes. “It ain’t no good. You didn’t even have a wake or funeral for her. No one even said no words over her ground. Her ghost is going to come back and punish us all.” Not even Alexis knew how to respond to Gennie’s blatant superstition so I gave it a try after she had pushed me once too many times.
Getting off the ground from where I’d been setting a temporary cross that Jax had carved for Marty I brushed the dirt off of my numb with cold hands and finally snapped. “Her last few weeks of life were nothing but a wake. Funerals are for the living, not the dead. They are supposed to bring closure. They don’t. Only time does that. I didn’t say any words over her grave because I said everything there was while she was still alive and could hear me. That piece of decaying meat in the ground is not my friend; she’s gone to a better life. And she knew I loved her and will not be coming back to haunt anyone because she’s too busy being happy where she is. Now knock it off and I better not hear another word on it. Marty made mistakes but God knows she’s paid for them and I won’t let anyone turn her into some kind of monster, living or dead. You try it and I’ll bust your butt so hard that it will be next Juvember before you can sit down in comfort.” She opened her mouth on an outraged retort but I stopped her. “You want to act mature, I’ll treat you that way. You want to act like an unfeeling brat with a tongue that is hung and the middle and running at both ends I’ll treat you that way too.”
This time when Gennie tried to open her mouth it was Alexis that intervened. She didn’t yell but she wasn’t exactly gentle either. “Enough Gen. We each have to handle this crap in our own way. You burn candles and pray to saints. Who’s to say which one of you have the direct line to heaven? Just let this one go. Besides, Lydie is right about one thing; Marty wasn’t the type to mess with people by turning into a ghost. Wasn’t her style.”
After Gennie left … surprisingly running off to Johnson of all people … I turned to Alexis and reluctantly said, “Thank you.”
“Don’t,” she responded.
“Don’t thank you?” I asked still woozy enough from emotional overload that not everything around me was making sense.
She nodded. “I didn’t do it for you; I did it for Marty who apparently liked you for some bizarre reason.”
Sighing at the bitter sweetness of the memories I explained, “Marty, Matt, and I have known each …” I stopped and then shook my head sadly. Quietly I continued. “Marty, Matt, and I knew each other from kindergarten. I’ve known most of the town kids since elementary school barring the few that came and went up until high school. Some I knew well … some not so much.” I shrugged. “You know how it is; cliques and clubs.”
It was obvious she didn’t want to like me but thankfully she wasn’t nasty about it. “Why did you throw her to the wolves?”
That did pull me up short. “Huh?”
“You’re rich as that old fool Midas and you left her to get eaten alive by that freak. Why didn’t you come to town sooner? Why didn’t you ever invite her to live here with you?”
I told myself that I didn’t owe her an explanation but back then I was a little more sensitive to people’s opinion of me than I was willing to admit. She’d also caught me at a low point when I’d been wondering the same thing. I was about to open my mouth when we all heard Gennie scream and Johnson roar.
I grabbed my rifle and adrenaline had me running and jumping the low hedge of shamrock inkberry holly that I had planted near the fish pond, one of the last landscape projects that Mom and I had done together. As I got nearer I saw that Johnson was in trouble. He must have tried to defend Gennie from a dog pack that had slunk up on her. I never even stopped. There was too much going on for me to fire and shoot; the danger of hitting Johnson was too great. I heard Jax and some of the others coming at their own run but I never even slowed down. I used the stock of my rifle like a bat and came in swinging.
I felt a dog try and get me only for it to discover my habit was to wear knee high work boots because of snakes and spiders. The bite hurt but more because it was like a vise clamp rather than a knife stab.
Jax was there beside me in seconds. He grabbed Johnson whose hand was bloody and having a hard time not going down under the onslaught of the dogs. I kept swinging trying to keep the dogs off. Aston and Aiden waded in and soon we had the dogs dispersed enough that the others could shoot them as they tried to run off.
“Get him to the house!” I said. “Lay him out on the floor in front of the fire place.”
“Easy Hon,” Jax said. “He’s more shook up than chewed up. They didn’t get passed his coat for the most part.”
I opened my mouth then cringed. How on earth I had forgotten Jax’s EMT training I don’t know. “Sorry,” I mumbled.
He gave me a searching look and then said, “I’m not.” I relaxed in relief that I hadn’t hurt his pride. He added, “Do me a favor and check the dogs.”
I knew what he meant … check for rabies or mange or some other disgusting thing that could be transmitted to humans. I could find no evidence that they weren’t anything but a dog pack but I was more than a bit upset. This was the first one that had come onto the Home Place though Mr. Houchins has mentioned that they’d had a few sniffing around their farm. I was even more upset when I found every dog had a collar on that looked exactly alike.
I turned to hear that Gennie wasn’t making sense and I wondered why. I asked Alexis, “Is she bit? Or afraid of dogs?”
Alexis was a little pale herself. Her answer didn’t make me feel any better either. “She’s afraid of those dogs.”
Gennie was shaking like a leaf and mumbling something I realized was in Spanish. “Did she just call these mutts devil dogs?”
Alexis smoothed out her face trying to appear calm and cool. “Yeah. See those collars? Those are some of the dogs that the gang used to use to guard their crap and mess with prisoners.”
I immediately went on high alert. I scanned the tree line but Alexis stepped up beside me and said. “Look at the dogs. See how skinny and unkept they look? There ain’t no gang members out there. They usually treat their dogs good. These either escaped or were turned loose. They ain’t on a leash neither and back in town the dogs were always kept on a leash because they was so vicious.”
Reggie came over to tell us, “Johnson won’t settle until he knows that Gennie is being looked after.”
Gennie took off at a run towards the house. I tried to keep the look off my face but Alexis saw it. “Nah. Ain’t that kind of thing. Johnson just treats her like he treats Janice. Gennie eats that crap up. She had an older brother that got drafted but he was killed in his first battle. Gennie has kind of forced Johnson to take his place … and he kinda let her. Know what I mean?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Thanks for explaining. I hate guessing about that kind of stuff.”
She looked at me funny but then turned and followed Gennie back to the house. Reggie sighed and I looked at him and then gave a grim chuckle. “Go on back to the house. I’ll clean up the carcasses.”
“Uh uh. It wasn’t that. I just hate the smell is all. Dang, the last time we burned this many bodies it took forever to get rid of the smell. If there are more dogs they’ll be attracted to it.”
Thinking I said, “I’ve got lime. We can take them out to the gravel pit and just … but I hate to waste the stuff when I don’t know where we’ll get more. I wanted to save it so we could have it for an outhouse. I’m not sure how well the septic system is going to handle this many people.”
Reggie shrugged and said, “Let’s just burn them. I’ll talk to Jax about the outhouse thing later.” We loaded the carcasses into the four-wheeler’s pull behind wagon – the one that Dad and I had always used to bring game home with when we were hunting on our own acreage – and in no time we had a very smelly bonfire going on the remains of the gang members that had attacked us weeks back.
“Lydie?”
“Yeah?”
“Uh … hmmm …”
I looked at Reggie and wondered what was up. He wasn’t normally hesitant about anything.
“Lydie … what … er … look, you think me and Ginger are a good thing or a bad thing?”
I blanked my face as fast as I could. “I don’t know if it is exactly my business,” I told him.
“I’m making it your business. So what do you think?”
“I think that it is more important what you … and Ginger … think than what I think.”
“So what if we both think it is a good thing but that I’m worried that maybe I’m too close to the situation to see it for what it is.”
I turned and looked at him and sighed. “Reggie, Ginger is crazy for you. She hasn’t been put off by you running in circles trying to figure out if she’s been serious or playing you. She isn’t put off by the fact that you are about as trying on the nerves as anyone can get and that you do it on purpose. She doesn’t get bent out of shape when you need some space because you are in a mood. She doesn’t care what your home life was like except how it affects you. She’s also strong enough not to take that crap you can dish out when you go a little overboard … but she doesn’t hold it against you. What more are you looking for?”
He shrugged and then changed the subject. “She says she isn’t ready to wind up like Ashley.”
“No kidding, neither am I. Too much crazy going on in the world right now and I feel like I’m in the middle of it.”
“But you and Jax … I mean … you do it.”
Trying to decide whether I wanted to hide or hit him in the head with a handy tree limb I simply said, “Yeah? And that is your business how?”
He rolled his eyes and scuffed his boot in the muddy snow that could still be found in the shade of the forest. “Don’t get bent, you know what I mean.”
Looking away I said, “I guess I do, that still doesn’t mean it is any of your business.”
“Well pretend like it is for a minute and give me some help here will you. I … I think I love Ginger but I’m not Jax or Aston … I don’t want kids right now. I don’t know if I want kids ever, at least not while the world is really, really flaking out. What if Ginger and I do it, she catches preggers, and then I like get drafted or something and go KIA. What kind of old man would I be to do that to my kid?”
I shook my head. “You wouldn’t do it on purpose Reggie.”
“That’s not the point. Aren’t dads supposed to think of things like that before they happen? Did Jax pick you because you’d be a good mother figure for Kelly or because you know, he wanted you?”
A little uncomfortably I told him, “You need to ask Jax that.”
“I tried. He threatened to bust me in the mouth if I went and said something about it to you so for God’s sake don’t tell him I asked. I like my teeth right where they’re at thank you.”
I nearly laughed because I could see Jax saying just that thing to Reggie. I shook my head. “Reg, I’d like to say that Jax and I have it all figured out and that we’re all righteous and holy and that we’ll never goof up with Kelly or with each other but I’d be lying if I did. Jax and I … we worked things out between us. We know how we feel about each other. We’re going to try and do the rightest thing for each other and Kelly that we can. And for us, that right thing isn’t having kids yet. I don’t even know if we can … not all the women in my family had their own biological units.”
“No?”
“Uh uh. Two of my grandmother’s sisters never had babies; they raised their husband’s kids from an earlier marriage. Another one of her sisters didn’t get married until she was in her fifties. Some of the women on that side of the family had female problems and only had kids after medical intervention. So it isn’t a given.”
“I didn’t know that.”
I shrugged. “The guys on that said and the ones on Dad’s side were pretty prolific though so I’m not sure. Either way Jax said he … well … you know … not until after Ashley pops we’re just being careful.”
“Careful how?”
I cannot express how uncomfortable and embarrassed I was trying to explain that sort of stuff to Reggie but when I’d finished he just sat on a stump and said, “Huh … little more complicated than I imagined it. Protection and calendars and …”
“Reggie!”
“Well … how the heck is a guy supposed to know if you people that do know won’t share the data?!”
I couldn’t help it. He looked so outraged I had to chuckle. “I swear Reggie. Just go talk it over with Ginger. If she doesn’t kill you then you’ve got a keeper.”
Looking serious and thoughtful he said, “I think maybe I already do but … but I don’t know if I’m ready to … you know … settle down yet. How do I know I’m not going to screw up like my old man and brother did?”
I shrugged. “All I know is that you aren’t them, you’re you. You’ll make mistakes but they don’t have to be those kinds of mistakes if you make different choices. Just go talk to Ginger and let me alone already. Maybe she isn’t ready to settle down either.”
He sighed. “But it’s hard to be around her and not want what you and Jax and Aston and Ash have. And now comes along Aiden and Janice … and Johnson could have that Alexis chick if he bothered to make an effort.”
“Leaving poor Jules with Ginnie?”
“No way. Johnson would kill Jules if he messed with that piece of jail bate. Besides Jules is still mourning his girlfriend Susie that threw him over for one of Suicide’s buddies.”
Surprised I asked, “Where did you hear that?”
“Aiden told me. I was … uh … ribbing him a little bit over Gennie. It kinda came out.”
I shook my head. “Sounds like you teeth nearly came out.”
He gave me a truthful half smile and admitted, “Nearly.”
The bonfire was finally dying down when a whistle came from up the road. I whistled the signal back and Jax walked in without startling us. Reggie saw him first and walked over and handed him the dog collars before saying something I couldn’t hear and then walking up to the house.
Jax came my way and said, “I’m NOT checking up on you … or at least not because you are out here with Reggie.”
I relaxed and said, “Good to know. But in case you are wondering Reggie is just still weirding out about Ginger a little.”
“Having second thoughts?”
I shook my head. “Can’t get passed his first thoughts … or should I say worries. I think Ashley getting as big and as miserable as she is kinda has him spooked.”
Jax made a face and said, “He asked you about us didn’t he.”
I walked over and tucked myself under his arm because it was turning chilly. “Yeah. It’s like having a little brother and having to explain the facts of life to him, only Reggie is older than I am the big dork. Reggie means well but he has absolutely no tact.”
“He bother you?”
“Nah, not really. I suppose if I was in his shoes I’d probably be trying to find someone to ask about it too. It just makes me feel …”
“Old and tired?”
I looked in his face and realized being two years ahead of us and with a lot of life experience he’d probably felt like that more than a few times. “You must feel like you are living in a house full of puppies that all want to pull your tail.”
I got an honest grin from him and he said, “Sometimes. “ She stood there watching the fire turn to embers. After a little while he asked, “You OK?”
“Yeah. What I said to Gennie was the truth. I … I don’t want to talk about it … not yet … but don’t feel like I’m dying or anything.”
“Good.”
“How’s Johnson?”
“Better. Seeing the dogs go after Gennie scared him worse than the dogs going after him did.”
I nodded. “Sounds like Johnson. He would have probably come totally unglued if the dogs had gone after Janice.”
He snorted. “He’s already laying down the law to both of them. They aren’t to get x number of yards from the house without an escort, blah, blah, blah.”
“I’m happy for them,” I said sarcastically. “So long as it doesn’t stop them from helping out around the place he can chain them both for all I care.”
“Getting on your nerves already?”
“Yes and no. Janice isn’t so bad. She’s been through a lot but honestly she was like this even before. Sounds awful I know but … but she’s a real shrinking violet. Johnson does too much for her and when he isn’t she has her nose in a book instead of taking some initiative to help. You know she intentionally failed the same grades Johnson did so that she wouldn’t have to go to a class without him?”
“Aiden told me. He makes it sound like something heroic.”
I shrugged. “Each to his own I guess.”
“Yeah … which leaves us with Gennie.”
I groaned. “No, let’s not.”
“She’s really getting under your skin.”
“Yeah … or at least sort of. I just don’t know why she has to be all in my face so much. I’m not sure what I ever did to her.”
“Probably nothing,” he said. “She’s an inner city kid that has had really horrible things happen to her and if that wasn’t bad enough she’s like a fish out of water. Put her back in the city and she probably wouldn’t be so bad.”
“If you say so.”
Another few minutes and we kicked wet snow around the edges of the fire and left the embers to die. Jax asked, “You ready for tomorrow?”
“Yeah. You ok with it being me going with Reggie instead of you?”
He nodded as we walked back to the house. “One of us needs to stay here and since all of the new guys are staying Aston and I are going to watch how they act when there are fewer than us.”
Suddenly uncomfortable I said, “Maybe I should stay.”
“Uh uh. I need you to look over the lay out and our plan, see if you can add anything to it. I don’t like you getting that close to town but Lon will be with you so I’m not as worried as I could be.”
Sometimes it is nice to have a fella look after you and sometimes it isn’t. This time it was a mix of both but I didn’t complain. I was going out tomorrow and that was that. I was going to help lay out caches so that they could have them in case they needed them. It wasn’t going to be pleasant work to be digging in cold mud. The other thing I was going to do is Reggie and I were going to throw in with Lon and come up with some presents for anyone that tries to follow our group out of town after the raid was complete. We hoped to make it as interesting for them as the time we gave to the gang members that had tried to attack the Home Place.
Part 2
Marty didn’t last out the week. Three days after Jax brought her to me she slipped into a comma; her body unable to support the damage that had been done to it, the mental stress of her ordeal, and the symptoms of withdrawal. I dug a grave for her in the family cemetery not too far from the memorial for my parents and brother. I still make sure and put fresh flowers on her stone for her birthday every year, more for me than her; I’m sure she is some place far better and probably doesn’t care one way or the other.
The only person that gave me a hassle about how I’d done everything was Lil’ Miss Queen of the ‘Tudes. “It ain’t no good. You didn’t even have a wake or funeral for her. No one even said no words over her ground. Her ghost is going to come back and punish us all.” Not even Alexis knew how to respond to Gennie’s blatant superstition so I gave it a try after she had pushed me once too many times.
Getting off the ground from where I’d been setting a temporary cross that Jax had carved for Marty I brushed the dirt off of my numb with cold hands and finally snapped. “Her last few weeks of life were nothing but a wake. Funerals are for the living, not the dead. They are supposed to bring closure. They don’t. Only time does that. I didn’t say any words over her grave because I said everything there was while she was still alive and could hear me. That piece of decaying meat in the ground is not my friend; she’s gone to a better life. And she knew I loved her and will not be coming back to haunt anyone because she’s too busy being happy where she is. Now knock it off and I better not hear another word on it. Marty made mistakes but God knows she’s paid for them and I won’t let anyone turn her into some kind of monster, living or dead. You try it and I’ll bust your butt so hard that it will be next Juvember before you can sit down in comfort.” She opened her mouth on an outraged retort but I stopped her. “You want to act mature, I’ll treat you that way. You want to act like an unfeeling brat with a tongue that is hung and the middle and running at both ends I’ll treat you that way too.”
This time when Gennie tried to open her mouth it was Alexis that intervened. She didn’t yell but she wasn’t exactly gentle either. “Enough Gen. We each have to handle this crap in our own way. You burn candles and pray to saints. Who’s to say which one of you have the direct line to heaven? Just let this one go. Besides, Lydie is right about one thing; Marty wasn’t the type to mess with people by turning into a ghost. Wasn’t her style.”
After Gennie left … surprisingly running off to Johnson of all people … I turned to Alexis and reluctantly said, “Thank you.”
“Don’t,” she responded.
“Don’t thank you?” I asked still woozy enough from emotional overload that not everything around me was making sense.
She nodded. “I didn’t do it for you; I did it for Marty who apparently liked you for some bizarre reason.”
Sighing at the bitter sweetness of the memories I explained, “Marty, Matt, and I have known each …” I stopped and then shook my head sadly. Quietly I continued. “Marty, Matt, and I knew each other from kindergarten. I’ve known most of the town kids since elementary school barring the few that came and went up until high school. Some I knew well … some not so much.” I shrugged. “You know how it is; cliques and clubs.”
It was obvious she didn’t want to like me but thankfully she wasn’t nasty about it. “Why did you throw her to the wolves?”
That did pull me up short. “Huh?”
“You’re rich as that old fool Midas and you left her to get eaten alive by that freak. Why didn’t you come to town sooner? Why didn’t you ever invite her to live here with you?”
I told myself that I didn’t owe her an explanation but back then I was a little more sensitive to people’s opinion of me than I was willing to admit. She’d also caught me at a low point when I’d been wondering the same thing. I was about to open my mouth when we all heard Gennie scream and Johnson roar.
I grabbed my rifle and adrenaline had me running and jumping the low hedge of shamrock inkberry holly that I had planted near the fish pond, one of the last landscape projects that Mom and I had done together. As I got nearer I saw that Johnson was in trouble. He must have tried to defend Gennie from a dog pack that had slunk up on her. I never even stopped. There was too much going on for me to fire and shoot; the danger of hitting Johnson was too great. I heard Jax and some of the others coming at their own run but I never even slowed down. I used the stock of my rifle like a bat and came in swinging.
I felt a dog try and get me only for it to discover my habit was to wear knee high work boots because of snakes and spiders. The bite hurt but more because it was like a vise clamp rather than a knife stab.
Jax was there beside me in seconds. He grabbed Johnson whose hand was bloody and having a hard time not going down under the onslaught of the dogs. I kept swinging trying to keep the dogs off. Aston and Aiden waded in and soon we had the dogs dispersed enough that the others could shoot them as they tried to run off.
“Get him to the house!” I said. “Lay him out on the floor in front of the fire place.”
“Easy Hon,” Jax said. “He’s more shook up than chewed up. They didn’t get passed his coat for the most part.”
I opened my mouth then cringed. How on earth I had forgotten Jax’s EMT training I don’t know. “Sorry,” I mumbled.
He gave me a searching look and then said, “I’m not.” I relaxed in relief that I hadn’t hurt his pride. He added, “Do me a favor and check the dogs.”
I knew what he meant … check for rabies or mange or some other disgusting thing that could be transmitted to humans. I could find no evidence that they weren’t anything but a dog pack but I was more than a bit upset. This was the first one that had come onto the Home Place though Mr. Houchins has mentioned that they’d had a few sniffing around their farm. I was even more upset when I found every dog had a collar on that looked exactly alike.
I turned to hear that Gennie wasn’t making sense and I wondered why. I asked Alexis, “Is she bit? Or afraid of dogs?”
Alexis was a little pale herself. Her answer didn’t make me feel any better either. “She’s afraid of those dogs.”
Gennie was shaking like a leaf and mumbling something I realized was in Spanish. “Did she just call these mutts devil dogs?”
Alexis smoothed out her face trying to appear calm and cool. “Yeah. See those collars? Those are some of the dogs that the gang used to use to guard their crap and mess with prisoners.”
I immediately went on high alert. I scanned the tree line but Alexis stepped up beside me and said. “Look at the dogs. See how skinny and unkept they look? There ain’t no gang members out there. They usually treat their dogs good. These either escaped or were turned loose. They ain’t on a leash neither and back in town the dogs were always kept on a leash because they was so vicious.”
Reggie came over to tell us, “Johnson won’t settle until he knows that Gennie is being looked after.”
Gennie took off at a run towards the house. I tried to keep the look off my face but Alexis saw it. “Nah. Ain’t that kind of thing. Johnson just treats her like he treats Janice. Gennie eats that crap up. She had an older brother that got drafted but he was killed in his first battle. Gennie has kind of forced Johnson to take his place … and he kinda let her. Know what I mean?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Thanks for explaining. I hate guessing about that kind of stuff.”
She looked at me funny but then turned and followed Gennie back to the house. Reggie sighed and I looked at him and then gave a grim chuckle. “Go on back to the house. I’ll clean up the carcasses.”
“Uh uh. It wasn’t that. I just hate the smell is all. Dang, the last time we burned this many bodies it took forever to get rid of the smell. If there are more dogs they’ll be attracted to it.”
Thinking I said, “I’ve got lime. We can take them out to the gravel pit and just … but I hate to waste the stuff when I don’t know where we’ll get more. I wanted to save it so we could have it for an outhouse. I’m not sure how well the septic system is going to handle this many people.”
Reggie shrugged and said, “Let’s just burn them. I’ll talk to Jax about the outhouse thing later.” We loaded the carcasses into the four-wheeler’s pull behind wagon – the one that Dad and I had always used to bring game home with when we were hunting on our own acreage – and in no time we had a very smelly bonfire going on the remains of the gang members that had attacked us weeks back.
“Lydie?”
“Yeah?”
“Uh … hmmm …”
I looked at Reggie and wondered what was up. He wasn’t normally hesitant about anything.
“Lydie … what … er … look, you think me and Ginger are a good thing or a bad thing?”
I blanked my face as fast as I could. “I don’t know if it is exactly my business,” I told him.
“I’m making it your business. So what do you think?”
“I think that it is more important what you … and Ginger … think than what I think.”
“So what if we both think it is a good thing but that I’m worried that maybe I’m too close to the situation to see it for what it is.”
I turned and looked at him and sighed. “Reggie, Ginger is crazy for you. She hasn’t been put off by you running in circles trying to figure out if she’s been serious or playing you. She isn’t put off by the fact that you are about as trying on the nerves as anyone can get and that you do it on purpose. She doesn’t get bent out of shape when you need some space because you are in a mood. She doesn’t care what your home life was like except how it affects you. She’s also strong enough not to take that crap you can dish out when you go a little overboard … but she doesn’t hold it against you. What more are you looking for?”
He shrugged and then changed the subject. “She says she isn’t ready to wind up like Ashley.”
“No kidding, neither am I. Too much crazy going on in the world right now and I feel like I’m in the middle of it.”
“But you and Jax … I mean … you do it.”
Trying to decide whether I wanted to hide or hit him in the head with a handy tree limb I simply said, “Yeah? And that is your business how?”
He rolled his eyes and scuffed his boot in the muddy snow that could still be found in the shade of the forest. “Don’t get bent, you know what I mean.”
Looking away I said, “I guess I do, that still doesn’t mean it is any of your business.”
“Well pretend like it is for a minute and give me some help here will you. I … I think I love Ginger but I’m not Jax or Aston … I don’t want kids right now. I don’t know if I want kids ever, at least not while the world is really, really flaking out. What if Ginger and I do it, she catches preggers, and then I like get drafted or something and go KIA. What kind of old man would I be to do that to my kid?”
I shook my head. “You wouldn’t do it on purpose Reggie.”
“That’s not the point. Aren’t dads supposed to think of things like that before they happen? Did Jax pick you because you’d be a good mother figure for Kelly or because you know, he wanted you?”
A little uncomfortably I told him, “You need to ask Jax that.”
“I tried. He threatened to bust me in the mouth if I went and said something about it to you so for God’s sake don’t tell him I asked. I like my teeth right where they’re at thank you.”
I nearly laughed because I could see Jax saying just that thing to Reggie. I shook my head. “Reg, I’d like to say that Jax and I have it all figured out and that we’re all righteous and holy and that we’ll never goof up with Kelly or with each other but I’d be lying if I did. Jax and I … we worked things out between us. We know how we feel about each other. We’re going to try and do the rightest thing for each other and Kelly that we can. And for us, that right thing isn’t having kids yet. I don’t even know if we can … not all the women in my family had their own biological units.”
“No?”
“Uh uh. Two of my grandmother’s sisters never had babies; they raised their husband’s kids from an earlier marriage. Another one of her sisters didn’t get married until she was in her fifties. Some of the women on that side of the family had female problems and only had kids after medical intervention. So it isn’t a given.”
“I didn’t know that.”
I shrugged. “The guys on that said and the ones on Dad’s side were pretty prolific though so I’m not sure. Either way Jax said he … well … you know … not until after Ashley pops we’re just being careful.”
“Careful how?”
I cannot express how uncomfortable and embarrassed I was trying to explain that sort of stuff to Reggie but when I’d finished he just sat on a stump and said, “Huh … little more complicated than I imagined it. Protection and calendars and …”
“Reggie!”
“Well … how the heck is a guy supposed to know if you people that do know won’t share the data?!”
I couldn’t help it. He looked so outraged I had to chuckle. “I swear Reggie. Just go talk it over with Ginger. If she doesn’t kill you then you’ve got a keeper.”
Looking serious and thoughtful he said, “I think maybe I already do but … but I don’t know if I’m ready to … you know … settle down yet. How do I know I’m not going to screw up like my old man and brother did?”
I shrugged. “All I know is that you aren’t them, you’re you. You’ll make mistakes but they don’t have to be those kinds of mistakes if you make different choices. Just go talk to Ginger and let me alone already. Maybe she isn’t ready to settle down either.”
He sighed. “But it’s hard to be around her and not want what you and Jax and Aston and Ash have. And now comes along Aiden and Janice … and Johnson could have that Alexis chick if he bothered to make an effort.”
“Leaving poor Jules with Ginnie?”
“No way. Johnson would kill Jules if he messed with that piece of jail bate. Besides Jules is still mourning his girlfriend Susie that threw him over for one of Suicide’s buddies.”
Surprised I asked, “Where did you hear that?”
“Aiden told me. I was … uh … ribbing him a little bit over Gennie. It kinda came out.”
I shook my head. “Sounds like you teeth nearly came out.”
He gave me a truthful half smile and admitted, “Nearly.”
The bonfire was finally dying down when a whistle came from up the road. I whistled the signal back and Jax walked in without startling us. Reggie saw him first and walked over and handed him the dog collars before saying something I couldn’t hear and then walking up to the house.
Jax came my way and said, “I’m NOT checking up on you … or at least not because you are out here with Reggie.”
I relaxed and said, “Good to know. But in case you are wondering Reggie is just still weirding out about Ginger a little.”
“Having second thoughts?”
I shook my head. “Can’t get passed his first thoughts … or should I say worries. I think Ashley getting as big and as miserable as she is kinda has him spooked.”
Jax made a face and said, “He asked you about us didn’t he.”
I walked over and tucked myself under his arm because it was turning chilly. “Yeah. It’s like having a little brother and having to explain the facts of life to him, only Reggie is older than I am the big dork. Reggie means well but he has absolutely no tact.”
“He bother you?”
“Nah, not really. I suppose if I was in his shoes I’d probably be trying to find someone to ask about it too. It just makes me feel …”
“Old and tired?”
I looked in his face and realized being two years ahead of us and with a lot of life experience he’d probably felt like that more than a few times. “You must feel like you are living in a house full of puppies that all want to pull your tail.”
I got an honest grin from him and he said, “Sometimes. “ She stood there watching the fire turn to embers. After a little while he asked, “You OK?”
“Yeah. What I said to Gennie was the truth. I … I don’t want to talk about it … not yet … but don’t feel like I’m dying or anything.”
“Good.”
“How’s Johnson?”
“Better. Seeing the dogs go after Gennie scared him worse than the dogs going after him did.”
I nodded. “Sounds like Johnson. He would have probably come totally unglued if the dogs had gone after Janice.”
He snorted. “He’s already laying down the law to both of them. They aren’t to get x number of yards from the house without an escort, blah, blah, blah.”
“I’m happy for them,” I said sarcastically. “So long as it doesn’t stop them from helping out around the place he can chain them both for all I care.”
“Getting on your nerves already?”
“Yes and no. Janice isn’t so bad. She’s been through a lot but honestly she was like this even before. Sounds awful I know but … but she’s a real shrinking violet. Johnson does too much for her and when he isn’t she has her nose in a book instead of taking some initiative to help. You know she intentionally failed the same grades Johnson did so that she wouldn’t have to go to a class without him?”
“Aiden told me. He makes it sound like something heroic.”
I shrugged. “Each to his own I guess.”
“Yeah … which leaves us with Gennie.”
I groaned. “No, let’s not.”
“She’s really getting under your skin.”
“Yeah … or at least sort of. I just don’t know why she has to be all in my face so much. I’m not sure what I ever did to her.”
“Probably nothing,” he said. “She’s an inner city kid that has had really horrible things happen to her and if that wasn’t bad enough she’s like a fish out of water. Put her back in the city and she probably wouldn’t be so bad.”
“If you say so.”
Another few minutes and we kicked wet snow around the edges of the fire and left the embers to die. Jax asked, “You ready for tomorrow?”
“Yeah. You ok with it being me going with Reggie instead of you?”
He nodded as we walked back to the house. “One of us needs to stay here and since all of the new guys are staying Aston and I are going to watch how they act when there are fewer than us.”
Suddenly uncomfortable I said, “Maybe I should stay.”
“Uh uh. I need you to look over the lay out and our plan, see if you can add anything to it. I don’t like you getting that close to town but Lon will be with you so I’m not as worried as I could be.”
Sometimes it is nice to have a fella look after you and sometimes it isn’t. This time it was a mix of both but I didn’t complain. I was going out tomorrow and that was that. I was going to help lay out caches so that they could have them in case they needed them. It wasn’t going to be pleasant work to be digging in cold mud. The other thing I was going to do is Reggie and I were going to throw in with Lon and come up with some presents for anyone that tries to follow our group out of town after the raid was complete. We hoped to make it as interesting for them as the time we gave to the gang members that had tried to attack the Home Place.
sssarawolf
Has No Life - Lives on TB
Thank you for taking the time to give us a chapter when things are so busy.
223shootersc
Veteran Member
very good chapter, thanks
2ndEviltwin
Inactive
Hmm how did I miss you addition from yesterday. Thank you mother hen.
May we have some moaarrrr pweez...
May we have some moaarrrr pweez...
They Just Don’t Make Emperors Like They Used To
Part 3
“That’s a nasty bruise Lydie. If I had seen this last night …”
Like I said, sometimes it’s nice to have a fella looking after you. I got lots of early morning attention for the bruise one of the devil dogs left on my calf. “I’m fine. I put some Preparation H on it last night and …”
Jax wound up having to bury his head under the pillow so he wouldn’t wake Kelly. “I swear, I know it works but every time I hear you say it …”
Smiling I told him, “Yeah, yeah. I know how it sounds myself you big goof but my parents swore by it as a home remedy for bruising and you know yourself that it keeps the blood from spreading and spreading under the skin. Not to mention it has some analgesic power to it.”
The pun set him off again and let me know that it was time to roll my wicked body out of bed because there was no more talking to him; he was practically inhaling the feathers right out of the pillow case. I dressed in a hurry and then headed downstairs only to find Ashley and Aston ahead of me.
“Sorry Lydie … but I was starving. Hope you don’t mind that I started things early.”
I told Ashley, “Do I look like I’m complaining?” Then with a smile I set about getting the rest of breakfast finished while Ashley sat the table and Aston and Jax went outside to start morning chores.
The intercom from the cupola chirped and then Ginger asked, “Please tell me someone started something hot to drink. I’m freezing my butt off up here.”
Everyone else in the house finally came down, including Reggie who had stopped off in our bedroom and grabbed Kelly who’d obviously woken up in a good mood. While I broke up a day old biscuit and covered it with country gravy and crumbled sausage to keep Kelly’s volume below a dull roar, Reggie turned around to head back upstairs with Ginger’s drink and plate of breakfast.
Gennie groaned and said, “Why does he have to walk so loud?”
I asked her, “You hung over or something?”
“No,” she muffled, not even rising to the bait. “I’ve got a headache.”
I looked at her and then at Alexis who was also looking at her surprised. I walked over and put my wrist on her forehead but it didn’t feel hot. She whispered, “Not THAT kind of headache.”
“Not that kind of …? Oh,” I said realizing what she was referring to but was unwilling to say with all the guys wandering around. “Hang on and I’ll make you some cinnamon and honey tea.”
Great big tears appeared in her eyes and suddenly she started bawling. “How did you know?! Mi abuelita used to make that for my mama.”
She laid her head on the table and just cried. I stood there with my mouth hanging open but Alexis managed to get Gennie up out of the chair and then upstairs. “Oh Glory,” I whispered. “I am really, really glad I’m not going to be around today. Are we sure she’s really fourteen?”
It was Janice of all people that said, “To be honest I think she is lying about that. You’ve never seen her in the locker room but she’s not built like she’s been in puberty that long.”
There were days when Janice sounded every one of her nineteen years and then some and this was one of those times. Remembering what both of them had endured I shuddered and ground out, “Those bastards. I hope their boy parts get chewed off by their own devil dogs.”
Her normally vacuous expression turn to one of cynicism and with a nasty twist to her lips she told me, “You aren’t the first person to make that wish.” I was glad I had had a pleasant start to the day because that just washed about all of my feelings of kindness towards humanity right out of my system.
After breakfast I filled Jax in on my suspicions, gave him the recipe for the cinnamon tea and then told him to make sure that one of the girls made it.
He gave a tug on my pigtail as I tried to tuck it under a camouflage painted piece of muslin that I used as my hunting bandana. “Ha ha. I can boil tea.”
I nodded and said around the bobby pins in my mouth, “Uh huh. Sure you can. I still remember that fire you almost started when you let the water boil out of the tea pot.”
In pretend outrage he said, “Hey, that was a long time ago …”
“A couple of weeks.”
“Oh hush woman,” he said with a grin and a kiss.
Our tomfoolery at an end he went over my guns and day pack one last time like a good Father Goose and Reggie and I hopped in the pick up we’d chosen to drive that day and we headed out.
“I was beginning to wonder if he was going to let you go,” Reggie said with a teasing grin.
I shrugged. “I don’t mind him double checking things. It makes him feel better and it says he cares. Before he and I … well … it sounds really gross just to say we hooked up because it is more than that but you know what I mean. Before he and I hooked up it had been a while since anyone had cared enough to do that for me.”
Then I could have bitten my tongue because Reggie’s home life hadn’t exactly been rife with demonstrations of caring and affection. He saw the look on my face and nodded. “My mom used to do stuff like that but … I don’t know … it didn’t come naturally to her; she had to think about it too hard and would go way overboard to try and make up for the fact she just wasn’t feeling it. She never should have had kids until she got herself straight and she sure didn’t have any business marrying a guy like my ol’ man. One of the reasons I don’t want to … Look, just … can you feel things out with Ginger for me? I’m almost positive I’ll say something to hurt her feelings and I don’t want to do that.”
I shook my head at how we had gotten off on that subject again. “You’re nuts. If you were going to hurt Ginger’s feelings it would have happened a long time ago. She knows what you’re like.”
“Maybe. But just tell her for me that … that I don’t mean to hurt her feelings if I do. I’m not making excuses but I … this is too important. OK?”
I rolled my eyes but said Ok. I didn’t like the idea of being turned into Cyrano de Bergerac but what the heck. Reggie was a friend and Ginger was a friend. I just didn’t want to get blamed if the two of them wound up mucking it up somehow. But saying I would put Reggie at ease and we both needed to focus on the day ahead of us.
And the day ahead of us turned out to be more bitterly cold that we had expected. We stopped by the Houchins farm and Lon and his sixteen year old son Cal were waiting. “Cool. Dirt bikes! Why don’t we have dirt bikes?” Reggie opined.
“Because the one time I rode a crotch rocket like that I took a header over the handle bars and decided I preferred the safety of a truck cab around my body. Not to mention there was only so much money to go around and toys weren’t part of my day-to-day; not much farm work can be done from the seat of one of those things.”
Reggie punched me lightly on the arm. “Don’t get so defensive. I didn’t mean you did something wrong. I meant why didn’t any of us think about having a few dirt bikes on hand. I’ve seen bikes and four wheelers all over the place.”
“Several of the four wheelers were brought back.”
“Yeah, but having some bikes on hand would be a good thing too.”
I shook my head wondering where he thought all the fuel was going to come from to run everything considering I would need a lot of it to run the tractors during planting through harvesting seasons but didn’t say anything. When Reggie waxed enthusiastic it was best just to let him work through the problems on his own. He’d either come to the same conclusions or come up with a possible remedy for our fuel shortage. Either way it wasn’t what we needed to be thinking about right then.
Mr. Houchins, bundled up against the cold, asked, “You kids got everything you need? You know what channel to call on? Got your guns on safety?”
Not even giving a hint that the big retired Navy Seal was the least bit upset at being called a kid Lon answered, “We’ve got everything Sir. Vern has our reporting schedule and plans to stay by the radio.”
“Good enough. Just stay out of trouble or I’ll catch it from Mother. She’s not too happy about this plan of yours as it is.”
I pulled out as he rode a mule back towards their farm house. Reggie climbed in the rear seat of the extended cab with Cal while I drove and Lon rode shot gun. I was wondering what to say to end the silence that was growing uncomfortable when from the back Cal said, “Don’t mind Peepaw, Meemaw’s really been giving him heck about it all.”
“You mean Mr. and Mrs. Houchins? Mr. Houchins I can see it from but Mrs. Houchins is a sweety.”
Cal’s mouth fell open in the back and Lon was fighting back a smile. He said, “That ‘sweety’ rules the family with a will of iron. And she’d much rather us stay safe out here in the country than go to town and risk getting hurt.”
“But she was all for us blowing up the roads. I thought that would have given her palpitations if anything would since we were playing with explosives and such.”
Lon shook his head. “That just meant that town was further away. It made her feel her family was safer. She doesn’t want to see that sooner or later, if something isn’t done, that gang of refugees in town will get so powerful that nothing will stop them.”
After a moment he asked, “Jax explain why we are gonna have to come into town from the other side from where you were used to going in at?”
I nodded but drove as Reggie said, “Yeah. River Road is getting taken over by Matt and some of the more important gang leaders. Matt is building water wheels – well, he is having other people build what looks like water wheels – and has some other construction projects underway as well. Probably plans on using the river as a means of transportation for trading and stuff too.”
“I’m not too sure about that last part,” I said for the dozenth time though no one really wanted to hear it. “The locks in the dams on the river require a lot of electricity. Not all of them have their own turbine system set up, only the big one that was built to control the flooding along River Road and the surrounding countryside back in the 1930s. It has had several retrofits done since then but it still wasn’t enough to keep it online when the power went down. Unless Matt can get that up and running he is SOL.”
Lon nodded, “I’ve heard you raised that point before.”
I snorted. “You meant someone was listening? Didn’t seem like it.”
“Vern agrees,” he said surprising me. “But he also seems to think that Matt might have an in to getting those turbines up and running.”
Curiously I asked, “What kind of in would that be? If the turbine is fried, it’s fried. That is a lot of wire to replace and who knows what else it took with it.”
Cal said in his own surprise, “Jax said you were smart and could give that Matt a run for his money.”
I shrugged off the comment and just asked again, “What’s the in?”
“The gang looks to be turning the town into a major drug hub. Some they are making on site but it looks – and sounds like from some recent radio transmissions – like that they are importing a lot via the old drug trafficking routes. You need to understand that this was already occurring prior to the war breaking out. The cities were getting too hot for them so they started moving out into the suburbs and rural areas where there just isn’t the same infrastructure to combat those kinds of activities.”
“Yeah I can see it if it was pot or crack,” I told them. “Dad and Jax told me they’d run into problems every once in a while with pot farms or cookers on the forestry lands. Dad and I even cleaned out someone’s small patch they’d been growing that spilled onto the back corner of our place. Anything else though is going to have to … are you telling me it is coming across the border or by plane internationally? I just can’t see people having the money for that kind of foolishness these days. I can’t even tell you if money is still any good.”
Lon said, “Oh it’s still good, it just isn’t worth very much. It is still the primary method to transfer goods and services from one owner to the next. And I’m talking fiat currency not precious metals. Gold and silver were confiscated and right now the black market just isn’t giving people very much for them as far as units of exchange. The government has price controls in some areas but that’s only made things worse for what they don’t have price controls on, hence the black markets. The Midwest is like one huge government camp where the military are protecting the big grain farms out there and enforcing very strict regulations. Quite a few camps out that way that are made up of people that were on the dole. Thought the government was coming to save them when they were literally just picked up with one suitcase per person and sent to work at the farm camps. If you want to eat, you work. You don’t want to work then that’s fine but you get kicked out of the camp and you get blacklisted from government assistance from now until forever … or at least that’s the way we’ve heard it.”
“Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. Wait ‘til those folks realize they can revolt.”
Lon nodded. “Some have already tried it. That’s why they take the kids and keep the men and women segregated. No new babies to worry about and the kids get put into education camps until they reach puberty and then from there they get segregated into their own kind of boot camps.”
“Holy shades of Hitler’s Youth Batman,” I whispered in outrage.
Lon chuckled but it wasn’t a nice sound. “I’d be lying if I said all the camps were the same. It’s not that bad in most of them, at least for the kids. The military camps are just physically and mentally hard for the most part since it is the first real discipline a lot of them seem to have had in their lives. The military wants trained potential soldiers that can run the high tech gear that is common these days, not idiots that do nothing but sit around and use up scarce resources. It’s not just a war of attrition but one of who has the better toys and better soldiers to operate those toys. However, some of the government camps … especially those in the Northeast and along the West Coast … are said to be pretty radical. We aren’t talking about the Khmer Rouge … at least not yet … but if the moral boundaries get forgotten and the goals become both the means and the end, I wouldn’t put it beyond the possibility of happening.”
The next ten minutes were fairly silent as everyone began to check their equipment and go over the plan in their head. Finally we reached the destination where we planned to start laying the first cache. Lon reminded us, “This isn’t about engaging the enemy. We are out here to lay the caches and observe. For our plan to succeed the element of surprise is absolutely essential. If they feel threatened they might change their patterns or reinforce their security system and that will add an additional layer of danger we don’t need, might not be able to overcome.”
We all nodded and then set out to do what we came to do. It was determined that while I was strong – for a female – it was still a silly waste of time to expect me to be able to move as much dirt to hide the caches as the men could. That left me on guard most of the time or mapping out or setting boobies.
When we stopped to take a brief break I brought up a point I’d been thinking about all morning. “It isn’t going to do any good to lay traps on the side of town that isn’t used very often. I can see putting the caches here as a resupply point or a backdoor escape hatch … and I can see booby trapping the caches to keep them from falling into the wrong hands on the slim chance they get found. However, laying a lot of boobies over here is a waste of resources. If we want to make best use of those types of material we need to be able to put them in the path they are likely to use themselves … maybe a funnel point that they can’t go around very easily. And another thing …”
Reggie muttered, “Here it comes.”
I kicked out at him from where we were sitting and grabbing a bite to eat. “And another thing, if you are going to have boobies you might as well make them blow up something useful. There’s the water tower, the canal bridges in town, knock over power poles so that when they come down they fall on other stuff and make a mess.”
Lon just shook his head. “Jax has already warned me that you’d want to try that. After we get these last two caches hidden we’ll head over to an observation point so you can take a look and get some ideas but we aren’t going into town today.”
Rolling my eyes I said, “I didn’t say it had to be done today. Besides I didn’t bring enough supplies to blow up River Road bridge or …”
All three of them made some kind of noise that reminded me of gobbling turkeys. “Oh for pity sake, don’t tell me y’all hadn’t thought of it. I can’t have been the only one to see movies like “A Bridge Too Far,” “The Bridge at Remagen,” “The Bridges at Toko-Ri,” and …”
Lon interrupted saying, “None of them were exactly happy movies as I recall.”
Getting frustrated I told him, “No kidding. War is hell and yada, yada, blah, blah, blah. I’m not trying to say it isn’t. I just mean that bridges are important. If we can take out the bridges we’ll be able to slow them down. We might even make it impossible for them to use the town as a transportation hub for the drugs or whatever you say they are moving.”
He gave my words some thought while he chewed some jerky. Reggie picked up the conversation. “You’re right and we all know it Lydie. And yeah, we’ve already talked about it. But we’re trying to balance the risks here. We’ve got a much smaller force than the gang does, especially if they get reinforcements from outsiders, other gangs. And we are trying to not get noticed.”
“Not noticed by whom?” I asked finally having untangled the testosterone wall of protection they’d obviously been throwing up around certain bits of their plan.
Reggie blanched and tried hard not to look at Lon. Cal looked on wide eyed like he had no idea what I was talking about and I realized that maybe he didn’t so I said, “OK, don’t tell me. Let me guess. I said the other day that we didn’t know how far we could really trust some of the local militias. Like humans everywhere they come in all shapes, sizes, and ideals or lack of for that matter. On the radio we’ve also heard certain ethnic and racial groups are coalescing into certain geographical locations trying to set up their own … I guess you’d call it their own governments within the government kind of thing. It’s said that parts of the state of Michigan don’t even recognize the Constitution anymore but operate solely on Sharia Law. Atlanta is burning just like it did during the Civil War once the rioting got beyond the ability of the military to contain. And the Texas border is said to look like the freaking 38th Parallel. At this point, with as freaked out as the world is, it just might be possible that if we throw too much action against the gang one of two things could happen.”
I looked at them and saw I had their attention. “First, the gang could run to the national guard, the military, or some other authority and cry that some big ol’ baddie is beating up on them for no reason when they are just a bunch of poor defenseless refugees. Or two, we could wind up with the gangs forming an alliance when they might not have otherwise done so and coming after us in force. Either one has the potential to rain fire and brimstone down on our heads.”
I sighed and closed with, “While I admire the sentiment, what you are trying to do is cut the head off of the snake without the tail finding out about it and it just ain’t gonna happen. If we are going to get hung, it might as well be for a pound as for a penny. Taking out Suicide is going to leave a vacuum. Something is going to fill that vacuum, and with our luck it is going to be something worse. If we punch a big enough hole, a vacuum won’t be able to form.”
Cal looked at his dad and asked, “Is what she saying true?”
“Not here. We’ll talk about it at home. Right now we have work to do.” The look he gave me let me know that he was finished talking about it. He wasn’t being nasty or anything, it simply was not up for debate at that point in time.
I didn’t push it. I knew I was being included only out of necessity. Reggie and I were the naughtiest when it came to creating boobies. We also had the least emotional attachment to the morality question regarding what those boobies cost in human suffering and death. It isn’t that we were totally without feeling because we weren’t the least sociopathic, we simply had come to terms with what we viewed as the necessity of doing what we did best. It was basically the same way I justified running the ‘shine; I only ran it for people for personal use and those that were responsible adults. I wouldn’t run it for those where there was a risk they’d turn around and sell it to minors or drunks and I only ran the good stuff, not the crap that would turn you blind. Yes, it was a rationalization, but it was one I could live with and felt I could answer for on Judgment Day. I knew in my heart it was situational ethics but I hadn’t figured a way around that yet.
Within the hour we were at a point that overlooked the town but left us at a safe enough distance that we wouldn’t be observed. We were in luck, if you want to call it that. We got to witness an exchange of goods right below us just on the other side of River Road.
Cal said, “Dang. I wish we could hear what they are saying.”
Reggie said seriously, “No need to hear them.”
I sensed Lon looking at him because of his tone of voice. Reggie then asked me, “You recognize him?”
I whispered in anger, “Yes.”
Not even Reggie was used to me putting that much venom into one word. Lon, not being a local, wouldn’t understand so I explained. “Look at that group. You see the guy in the University of Tennessee colors?”
“Orange? I thought that was a hunter’s jacket,” he said.
“It is probably but it is still the UT colors of orange and white. Anyway his name is Delorey Baumgarten; most people call him Del and he is a very, very, very bad man.”
“And you would know this how?”
I shrugged. “His Dad worked out at the Paper Mill with Dad until he had a heart attack that caused a major equipment accident in the plant. The insurance company was not a happy camper and the mill owners … er … encouraged Mr. B to retire and he moved out to Pheonix or someplace like that. Dad used to tell me how Mr. B – who was a very, very, very nice man by the way – used to be sad and ashamed at how his son had turned out. Del is your typical bad seed story. Juvie never did a thing to him but make him meaner. The day Del turned twenty-one he walked into the state pen for killing some guy for running over his dog … the dog he refused to keep chained up. The dog had chewed on this guy’s little girl and the city took the dog away. Del stole it back but it got out again and went after someone else. The authorities had no proof supposedly so the other guy took the law into his own hands. You can guess what happened from there. All the State Pen did was make Del a better and smarter criminal and give him contacts … or so said my Dad.”
Lon said, “But you make it sound personal. This Del and your father ever run into each other?”
After a moment I mumbled, “No.”
Reggie asked, “It have to do with your late night highway runs?”
Once cautious, always cautious so I said politely, “More than likely.”
Lon said, “Spit it out. If there is a danger I need to know what it is in case it needs to be included in the plan.”
I gave him a very brief explanation of the fact that I might have run ‘shine a time or two (or more) and as soon as rehung his jaw from where it had been swinging in the breeze – and knocked his son in the back of his head who had been staring at me like I was some rare breed of jungle cat – he said, “In what way does that Del guy have to do with … what you just told me.”
“Let’s just say we came in conflict a time or two. When I beat out his drivers on a regular basis he tried to … let’s say he tried to hire me. Dad never knew or he would have taken Del out over his … er … terms; even if it meant turning states evidence and getting into all kinds of trouble. Very, very few people knew what I did. And Dad never knew about some of the things that happened or he would have stopped it even if it meant having to mortgage our home to pay for my brother’s treatment. But every once in a while I would run into trouble and Del was the worst. Not even Jax knows but that is only because I thought Del was gone or dead. To be honest I thought it was in jail for beating up some woman in Chattanooga. I’ll have to tell Jax about it tonight. He knows who Delorey is and more than likely he’ll put a flaming bell around my neck once he finds out the rest of it. Del is just not someone you mess with.”
Ignoring my aside about Jax’s likely reaction Lon asked, “What makes the guy so dangerous … besides obviously packing enough fire power for a small Mexican cartel.”
Reggie snorted and as I continued to look for potential boobie locations he explained. “The guy is just bad. Even my ol’ man never had anything to do with him. The Caulderman Brothers avoided him too. Anything that Del Baumgarten get involved with he tends to go in and take over.”
Looking through my binoculars I said, “Which is what he might be positioning himself for here. Anyone know if that idiot without a coat on is Suicide?”
“Yeah, that’s him,” Lon chuckled despite the situation.
“Does he think his tats are going to keep him warm or something?”
Another chuckle. “Apparently. You should have seen it when the weather was warmer. He’s has enough tattoos that he looks like he is wearing a full body stocking. He even has them on his face and inside his ears.”
I turned and looked at him. “And you’re complaining about me getting close to town? How close did you have to be to see inside his ear?”
“The cup of his ear Lydie,” Reggie explained. “And he wears these ginormous gauges in his ear lobes. The rest of him is pierced too … nipple rings, bars, chains attached to I don’t even want to think about it places.”
Blanching I said, “No wonder Del is acting like he can’t stand the guy.”
“Huh?” Cal asked at my non sequiter.
“Del is a major homophobe. He thinks a few tattoos here and there are manly but once you get into any other body art or take something over the top and you get on his never-to-be-respected list of potential queers. It’s real easy to get on the list, almost impossible to get off.”
Reggie pondered, “I always wondered how he stayed alive in prison with that kind of attitude.”
I kicked out at him, “Little inappropriate conversational topic.”
“Huh?”
I looked at Lon and apologized. “Sorry. Ol’ Reg seems to be unable to understand the concept of tact.”
Lon blanked his face and went back to looking over the scene but Cal said, “Jax told us it would be like having Abbot and Costello for company when you two get going.”
Reggie and I had developed an unusual friendship. I could pick on and criticize him. He could do the same to me. But neither one of us would put up with anyone else doing it to the other. Kind of like siblings. I looked at Reggie through my lashes and decided to get a little wicked. “So what about it Reg? We’ve got a clean slate below us. We’ll have to be able to set the boobies in the dark and not trip them as we evac. I’ve spotted two dozen potential trip line locations. Twice as many pressure or vibration-trigger placings. The bridge will be a cinch but that’s all boring and ordinary stuff. Where do you think the sulfuric acid traps would go best.”
“Wait,” he said getting into the spirit of things. “I wanna play with those Bangalores again.”
“You just like to blow stuff up. We need victim-activated devices not something we have to activate ourselves, though having a few in reserve is a good idea in case we get cut off.”
“Fine, have it your way. What we need to do is boobie the buildings that look out this way to keep gang members from being able to use them as cover or vantage points to shoot from. Forgetting about how we’ll get close enough for a second I say that all of the steps and thresholds need to be boobied with pressure switches. Even the footpaths around the buildings should have some surprise packages in place.”
Cal’s face was priceless but Reggie and I had already forgotten about him and gotten serious about the job we were sent to do. “I wish there was time to dig pits but I can’t see how if the move is going to be made soon. It took longer than I expected to dig the holes that we did for the caches. The ground is already frozen solid in places and there is too much clay and gravel around here to make it easy at any time of year. I think they lined this hill when we were little because of erosion.”
“Yeah, they laid a metal net before putting the erosion control in place too until the grasses could take over and hold the soil,” he reminded me.
“Pooh. That’s right.” Thinking I said, “What about some widow makers hung in the trees around here with some trip lines attached to them. Trip causes the rope or wire to swing free. Widow maker comes down. Poof … imbedded spikes or thin glass bottle with acid or something along those lines. Wouldn’t be a killing device – unless the guy was just unlucky – but those types of things cause damage and might encourage panic or something.”
“I like it. They’ll be looking at the ground and suddenly stuff will come at them from above. Keep them off balance.”
We continued on in that vein with me eventually pulling out a hand drawn map of the immediate area and we started penciling in what could be done as well as adding some tactical information and some additional details to specific landmarks such as the number of pilings on the bridge, the number and placement of windows on specific buildings, and the composition of the ground in various locations. Lon looked at Cal and said, “I wouldn’t go bragging about this where your mother will find out about it if you ever want to go on another run.”
Cal shook his head, “I ain’t stupid. And if Meemaw finds out about any of this we’ll all be on stone soup and water until she can change our minds.”
Not wanting to see any of my sex belittled for being protective which is our nature I said, “She has a job to do just like we do. She just goes about it different.”
Cal asked, “So you’re ok with all of this? Even though you’re a girl?”
“Being a girl doesn’t have a whole lot to do with it, at least not for me. And I wouldn’t say that I’m OK with it. I look at it as we have a choice. We can either sit back and let the poison fester and build to the point that it will kill us or we can amputate the infected flesh.”
“But didn’t some of those kids down there used to be your friends?”
I shrugged as nonchalantly as I could manage despite how the question made me feel. “Some of them. But we all have choices to make. If they’ve sided with the gang then they are responsible for the consequences they face because of their choice. If they are victims … I’ll do what I can to make sure their life doesn’t get worse but right now I can’t tell one from the other and until I’m sure then I don’t have much choice but to treat them all like they are infected and find some way to quarantine them.”
After that Cal gave me space that I hadn’t asked for. I guess I was kind of strange as far as females go but I’d been forced to deal with the aftermath of what terrorists, both foreign and domestic, could do to simply leave the battles up to someone else. And if we were going to win I wanted the victory to be decisive, not one that we would have to continue to fight over and over until way more people got hurt than would have been necessary had we done it the right way the first time around.
It wasn’t long after that that we packed up and started back to the Home Place. I was about to get in the truck when I stopped and realized that while the cold had made everything quiet, it had become an unnatural quiet. Lon and Reggie noticed it at the same time and Cal picked up on it as soon as he observed his father’s reaction.
Part 3
“That’s a nasty bruise Lydie. If I had seen this last night …”
Like I said, sometimes it’s nice to have a fella looking after you. I got lots of early morning attention for the bruise one of the devil dogs left on my calf. “I’m fine. I put some Preparation H on it last night and …”
Jax wound up having to bury his head under the pillow so he wouldn’t wake Kelly. “I swear, I know it works but every time I hear you say it …”
Smiling I told him, “Yeah, yeah. I know how it sounds myself you big goof but my parents swore by it as a home remedy for bruising and you know yourself that it keeps the blood from spreading and spreading under the skin. Not to mention it has some analgesic power to it.”
The pun set him off again and let me know that it was time to roll my wicked body out of bed because there was no more talking to him; he was practically inhaling the feathers right out of the pillow case. I dressed in a hurry and then headed downstairs only to find Ashley and Aston ahead of me.
“Sorry Lydie … but I was starving. Hope you don’t mind that I started things early.”
I told Ashley, “Do I look like I’m complaining?” Then with a smile I set about getting the rest of breakfast finished while Ashley sat the table and Aston and Jax went outside to start morning chores.
The intercom from the cupola chirped and then Ginger asked, “Please tell me someone started something hot to drink. I’m freezing my butt off up here.”
Everyone else in the house finally came down, including Reggie who had stopped off in our bedroom and grabbed Kelly who’d obviously woken up in a good mood. While I broke up a day old biscuit and covered it with country gravy and crumbled sausage to keep Kelly’s volume below a dull roar, Reggie turned around to head back upstairs with Ginger’s drink and plate of breakfast.
Gennie groaned and said, “Why does he have to walk so loud?”
I asked her, “You hung over or something?”
“No,” she muffled, not even rising to the bait. “I’ve got a headache.”
I looked at her and then at Alexis who was also looking at her surprised. I walked over and put my wrist on her forehead but it didn’t feel hot. She whispered, “Not THAT kind of headache.”
“Not that kind of …? Oh,” I said realizing what she was referring to but was unwilling to say with all the guys wandering around. “Hang on and I’ll make you some cinnamon and honey tea.”
Great big tears appeared in her eyes and suddenly she started bawling. “How did you know?! Mi abuelita used to make that for my mama.”
She laid her head on the table and just cried. I stood there with my mouth hanging open but Alexis managed to get Gennie up out of the chair and then upstairs. “Oh Glory,” I whispered. “I am really, really glad I’m not going to be around today. Are we sure she’s really fourteen?”
It was Janice of all people that said, “To be honest I think she is lying about that. You’ve never seen her in the locker room but she’s not built like she’s been in puberty that long.”
There were days when Janice sounded every one of her nineteen years and then some and this was one of those times. Remembering what both of them had endured I shuddered and ground out, “Those bastards. I hope their boy parts get chewed off by their own devil dogs.”
Her normally vacuous expression turn to one of cynicism and with a nasty twist to her lips she told me, “You aren’t the first person to make that wish.” I was glad I had had a pleasant start to the day because that just washed about all of my feelings of kindness towards humanity right out of my system.
After breakfast I filled Jax in on my suspicions, gave him the recipe for the cinnamon tea and then told him to make sure that one of the girls made it.
He gave a tug on my pigtail as I tried to tuck it under a camouflage painted piece of muslin that I used as my hunting bandana. “Ha ha. I can boil tea.”
I nodded and said around the bobby pins in my mouth, “Uh huh. Sure you can. I still remember that fire you almost started when you let the water boil out of the tea pot.”
In pretend outrage he said, “Hey, that was a long time ago …”
“A couple of weeks.”
“Oh hush woman,” he said with a grin and a kiss.
Our tomfoolery at an end he went over my guns and day pack one last time like a good Father Goose and Reggie and I hopped in the pick up we’d chosen to drive that day and we headed out.
“I was beginning to wonder if he was going to let you go,” Reggie said with a teasing grin.
I shrugged. “I don’t mind him double checking things. It makes him feel better and it says he cares. Before he and I … well … it sounds really gross just to say we hooked up because it is more than that but you know what I mean. Before he and I hooked up it had been a while since anyone had cared enough to do that for me.”
Then I could have bitten my tongue because Reggie’s home life hadn’t exactly been rife with demonstrations of caring and affection. He saw the look on my face and nodded. “My mom used to do stuff like that but … I don’t know … it didn’t come naturally to her; she had to think about it too hard and would go way overboard to try and make up for the fact she just wasn’t feeling it. She never should have had kids until she got herself straight and she sure didn’t have any business marrying a guy like my ol’ man. One of the reasons I don’t want to … Look, just … can you feel things out with Ginger for me? I’m almost positive I’ll say something to hurt her feelings and I don’t want to do that.”
I shook my head at how we had gotten off on that subject again. “You’re nuts. If you were going to hurt Ginger’s feelings it would have happened a long time ago. She knows what you’re like.”
“Maybe. But just tell her for me that … that I don’t mean to hurt her feelings if I do. I’m not making excuses but I … this is too important. OK?”
I rolled my eyes but said Ok. I didn’t like the idea of being turned into Cyrano de Bergerac but what the heck. Reggie was a friend and Ginger was a friend. I just didn’t want to get blamed if the two of them wound up mucking it up somehow. But saying I would put Reggie at ease and we both needed to focus on the day ahead of us.
And the day ahead of us turned out to be more bitterly cold that we had expected. We stopped by the Houchins farm and Lon and his sixteen year old son Cal were waiting. “Cool. Dirt bikes! Why don’t we have dirt bikes?” Reggie opined.
“Because the one time I rode a crotch rocket like that I took a header over the handle bars and decided I preferred the safety of a truck cab around my body. Not to mention there was only so much money to go around and toys weren’t part of my day-to-day; not much farm work can be done from the seat of one of those things.”
Reggie punched me lightly on the arm. “Don’t get so defensive. I didn’t mean you did something wrong. I meant why didn’t any of us think about having a few dirt bikes on hand. I’ve seen bikes and four wheelers all over the place.”
“Several of the four wheelers were brought back.”
“Yeah, but having some bikes on hand would be a good thing too.”
I shook my head wondering where he thought all the fuel was going to come from to run everything considering I would need a lot of it to run the tractors during planting through harvesting seasons but didn’t say anything. When Reggie waxed enthusiastic it was best just to let him work through the problems on his own. He’d either come to the same conclusions or come up with a possible remedy for our fuel shortage. Either way it wasn’t what we needed to be thinking about right then.
Mr. Houchins, bundled up against the cold, asked, “You kids got everything you need? You know what channel to call on? Got your guns on safety?”
Not even giving a hint that the big retired Navy Seal was the least bit upset at being called a kid Lon answered, “We’ve got everything Sir. Vern has our reporting schedule and plans to stay by the radio.”
“Good enough. Just stay out of trouble or I’ll catch it from Mother. She’s not too happy about this plan of yours as it is.”
I pulled out as he rode a mule back towards their farm house. Reggie climbed in the rear seat of the extended cab with Cal while I drove and Lon rode shot gun. I was wondering what to say to end the silence that was growing uncomfortable when from the back Cal said, “Don’t mind Peepaw, Meemaw’s really been giving him heck about it all.”
“You mean Mr. and Mrs. Houchins? Mr. Houchins I can see it from but Mrs. Houchins is a sweety.”
Cal’s mouth fell open in the back and Lon was fighting back a smile. He said, “That ‘sweety’ rules the family with a will of iron. And she’d much rather us stay safe out here in the country than go to town and risk getting hurt.”
“But she was all for us blowing up the roads. I thought that would have given her palpitations if anything would since we were playing with explosives and such.”
Lon shook his head. “That just meant that town was further away. It made her feel her family was safer. She doesn’t want to see that sooner or later, if something isn’t done, that gang of refugees in town will get so powerful that nothing will stop them.”
After a moment he asked, “Jax explain why we are gonna have to come into town from the other side from where you were used to going in at?”
I nodded but drove as Reggie said, “Yeah. River Road is getting taken over by Matt and some of the more important gang leaders. Matt is building water wheels – well, he is having other people build what looks like water wheels – and has some other construction projects underway as well. Probably plans on using the river as a means of transportation for trading and stuff too.”
“I’m not too sure about that last part,” I said for the dozenth time though no one really wanted to hear it. “The locks in the dams on the river require a lot of electricity. Not all of them have their own turbine system set up, only the big one that was built to control the flooding along River Road and the surrounding countryside back in the 1930s. It has had several retrofits done since then but it still wasn’t enough to keep it online when the power went down. Unless Matt can get that up and running he is SOL.”
Lon nodded, “I’ve heard you raised that point before.”
I snorted. “You meant someone was listening? Didn’t seem like it.”
“Vern agrees,” he said surprising me. “But he also seems to think that Matt might have an in to getting those turbines up and running.”
Curiously I asked, “What kind of in would that be? If the turbine is fried, it’s fried. That is a lot of wire to replace and who knows what else it took with it.”
Cal said in his own surprise, “Jax said you were smart and could give that Matt a run for his money.”
I shrugged off the comment and just asked again, “What’s the in?”
“The gang looks to be turning the town into a major drug hub. Some they are making on site but it looks – and sounds like from some recent radio transmissions – like that they are importing a lot via the old drug trafficking routes. You need to understand that this was already occurring prior to the war breaking out. The cities were getting too hot for them so they started moving out into the suburbs and rural areas where there just isn’t the same infrastructure to combat those kinds of activities.”
“Yeah I can see it if it was pot or crack,” I told them. “Dad and Jax told me they’d run into problems every once in a while with pot farms or cookers on the forestry lands. Dad and I even cleaned out someone’s small patch they’d been growing that spilled onto the back corner of our place. Anything else though is going to have to … are you telling me it is coming across the border or by plane internationally? I just can’t see people having the money for that kind of foolishness these days. I can’t even tell you if money is still any good.”
Lon said, “Oh it’s still good, it just isn’t worth very much. It is still the primary method to transfer goods and services from one owner to the next. And I’m talking fiat currency not precious metals. Gold and silver were confiscated and right now the black market just isn’t giving people very much for them as far as units of exchange. The government has price controls in some areas but that’s only made things worse for what they don’t have price controls on, hence the black markets. The Midwest is like one huge government camp where the military are protecting the big grain farms out there and enforcing very strict regulations. Quite a few camps out that way that are made up of people that were on the dole. Thought the government was coming to save them when they were literally just picked up with one suitcase per person and sent to work at the farm camps. If you want to eat, you work. You don’t want to work then that’s fine but you get kicked out of the camp and you get blacklisted from government assistance from now until forever … or at least that’s the way we’ve heard it.”
“Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. Wait ‘til those folks realize they can revolt.”
Lon nodded. “Some have already tried it. That’s why they take the kids and keep the men and women segregated. No new babies to worry about and the kids get put into education camps until they reach puberty and then from there they get segregated into their own kind of boot camps.”
“Holy shades of Hitler’s Youth Batman,” I whispered in outrage.
Lon chuckled but it wasn’t a nice sound. “I’d be lying if I said all the camps were the same. It’s not that bad in most of them, at least for the kids. The military camps are just physically and mentally hard for the most part since it is the first real discipline a lot of them seem to have had in their lives. The military wants trained potential soldiers that can run the high tech gear that is common these days, not idiots that do nothing but sit around and use up scarce resources. It’s not just a war of attrition but one of who has the better toys and better soldiers to operate those toys. However, some of the government camps … especially those in the Northeast and along the West Coast … are said to be pretty radical. We aren’t talking about the Khmer Rouge … at least not yet … but if the moral boundaries get forgotten and the goals become both the means and the end, I wouldn’t put it beyond the possibility of happening.”
The next ten minutes were fairly silent as everyone began to check their equipment and go over the plan in their head. Finally we reached the destination where we planned to start laying the first cache. Lon reminded us, “This isn’t about engaging the enemy. We are out here to lay the caches and observe. For our plan to succeed the element of surprise is absolutely essential. If they feel threatened they might change their patterns or reinforce their security system and that will add an additional layer of danger we don’t need, might not be able to overcome.”
We all nodded and then set out to do what we came to do. It was determined that while I was strong – for a female – it was still a silly waste of time to expect me to be able to move as much dirt to hide the caches as the men could. That left me on guard most of the time or mapping out or setting boobies.
When we stopped to take a brief break I brought up a point I’d been thinking about all morning. “It isn’t going to do any good to lay traps on the side of town that isn’t used very often. I can see putting the caches here as a resupply point or a backdoor escape hatch … and I can see booby trapping the caches to keep them from falling into the wrong hands on the slim chance they get found. However, laying a lot of boobies over here is a waste of resources. If we want to make best use of those types of material we need to be able to put them in the path they are likely to use themselves … maybe a funnel point that they can’t go around very easily. And another thing …”
Reggie muttered, “Here it comes.”
I kicked out at him from where we were sitting and grabbing a bite to eat. “And another thing, if you are going to have boobies you might as well make them blow up something useful. There’s the water tower, the canal bridges in town, knock over power poles so that when they come down they fall on other stuff and make a mess.”
Lon just shook his head. “Jax has already warned me that you’d want to try that. After we get these last two caches hidden we’ll head over to an observation point so you can take a look and get some ideas but we aren’t going into town today.”
Rolling my eyes I said, “I didn’t say it had to be done today. Besides I didn’t bring enough supplies to blow up River Road bridge or …”
All three of them made some kind of noise that reminded me of gobbling turkeys. “Oh for pity sake, don’t tell me y’all hadn’t thought of it. I can’t have been the only one to see movies like “A Bridge Too Far,” “The Bridge at Remagen,” “The Bridges at Toko-Ri,” and …”
Lon interrupted saying, “None of them were exactly happy movies as I recall.”
Getting frustrated I told him, “No kidding. War is hell and yada, yada, blah, blah, blah. I’m not trying to say it isn’t. I just mean that bridges are important. If we can take out the bridges we’ll be able to slow them down. We might even make it impossible for them to use the town as a transportation hub for the drugs or whatever you say they are moving.”
He gave my words some thought while he chewed some jerky. Reggie picked up the conversation. “You’re right and we all know it Lydie. And yeah, we’ve already talked about it. But we’re trying to balance the risks here. We’ve got a much smaller force than the gang does, especially if they get reinforcements from outsiders, other gangs. And we are trying to not get noticed.”
“Not noticed by whom?” I asked finally having untangled the testosterone wall of protection they’d obviously been throwing up around certain bits of their plan.
Reggie blanched and tried hard not to look at Lon. Cal looked on wide eyed like he had no idea what I was talking about and I realized that maybe he didn’t so I said, “OK, don’t tell me. Let me guess. I said the other day that we didn’t know how far we could really trust some of the local militias. Like humans everywhere they come in all shapes, sizes, and ideals or lack of for that matter. On the radio we’ve also heard certain ethnic and racial groups are coalescing into certain geographical locations trying to set up their own … I guess you’d call it their own governments within the government kind of thing. It’s said that parts of the state of Michigan don’t even recognize the Constitution anymore but operate solely on Sharia Law. Atlanta is burning just like it did during the Civil War once the rioting got beyond the ability of the military to contain. And the Texas border is said to look like the freaking 38th Parallel. At this point, with as freaked out as the world is, it just might be possible that if we throw too much action against the gang one of two things could happen.”
I looked at them and saw I had their attention. “First, the gang could run to the national guard, the military, or some other authority and cry that some big ol’ baddie is beating up on them for no reason when they are just a bunch of poor defenseless refugees. Or two, we could wind up with the gangs forming an alliance when they might not have otherwise done so and coming after us in force. Either one has the potential to rain fire and brimstone down on our heads.”
I sighed and closed with, “While I admire the sentiment, what you are trying to do is cut the head off of the snake without the tail finding out about it and it just ain’t gonna happen. If we are going to get hung, it might as well be for a pound as for a penny. Taking out Suicide is going to leave a vacuum. Something is going to fill that vacuum, and with our luck it is going to be something worse. If we punch a big enough hole, a vacuum won’t be able to form.”
Cal looked at his dad and asked, “Is what she saying true?”
“Not here. We’ll talk about it at home. Right now we have work to do.” The look he gave me let me know that he was finished talking about it. He wasn’t being nasty or anything, it simply was not up for debate at that point in time.
I didn’t push it. I knew I was being included only out of necessity. Reggie and I were the naughtiest when it came to creating boobies. We also had the least emotional attachment to the morality question regarding what those boobies cost in human suffering and death. It isn’t that we were totally without feeling because we weren’t the least sociopathic, we simply had come to terms with what we viewed as the necessity of doing what we did best. It was basically the same way I justified running the ‘shine; I only ran it for people for personal use and those that were responsible adults. I wouldn’t run it for those where there was a risk they’d turn around and sell it to minors or drunks and I only ran the good stuff, not the crap that would turn you blind. Yes, it was a rationalization, but it was one I could live with and felt I could answer for on Judgment Day. I knew in my heart it was situational ethics but I hadn’t figured a way around that yet.
Within the hour we were at a point that overlooked the town but left us at a safe enough distance that we wouldn’t be observed. We were in luck, if you want to call it that. We got to witness an exchange of goods right below us just on the other side of River Road.
Cal said, “Dang. I wish we could hear what they are saying.”
Reggie said seriously, “No need to hear them.”
I sensed Lon looking at him because of his tone of voice. Reggie then asked me, “You recognize him?”
I whispered in anger, “Yes.”
Not even Reggie was used to me putting that much venom into one word. Lon, not being a local, wouldn’t understand so I explained. “Look at that group. You see the guy in the University of Tennessee colors?”
“Orange? I thought that was a hunter’s jacket,” he said.
“It is probably but it is still the UT colors of orange and white. Anyway his name is Delorey Baumgarten; most people call him Del and he is a very, very, very bad man.”
“And you would know this how?”
I shrugged. “His Dad worked out at the Paper Mill with Dad until he had a heart attack that caused a major equipment accident in the plant. The insurance company was not a happy camper and the mill owners … er … encouraged Mr. B to retire and he moved out to Pheonix or someplace like that. Dad used to tell me how Mr. B – who was a very, very, very nice man by the way – used to be sad and ashamed at how his son had turned out. Del is your typical bad seed story. Juvie never did a thing to him but make him meaner. The day Del turned twenty-one he walked into the state pen for killing some guy for running over his dog … the dog he refused to keep chained up. The dog had chewed on this guy’s little girl and the city took the dog away. Del stole it back but it got out again and went after someone else. The authorities had no proof supposedly so the other guy took the law into his own hands. You can guess what happened from there. All the State Pen did was make Del a better and smarter criminal and give him contacts … or so said my Dad.”
Lon said, “But you make it sound personal. This Del and your father ever run into each other?”
After a moment I mumbled, “No.”
Reggie asked, “It have to do with your late night highway runs?”
Once cautious, always cautious so I said politely, “More than likely.”
Lon said, “Spit it out. If there is a danger I need to know what it is in case it needs to be included in the plan.”
I gave him a very brief explanation of the fact that I might have run ‘shine a time or two (or more) and as soon as rehung his jaw from where it had been swinging in the breeze – and knocked his son in the back of his head who had been staring at me like I was some rare breed of jungle cat – he said, “In what way does that Del guy have to do with … what you just told me.”
“Let’s just say we came in conflict a time or two. When I beat out his drivers on a regular basis he tried to … let’s say he tried to hire me. Dad never knew or he would have taken Del out over his … er … terms; even if it meant turning states evidence and getting into all kinds of trouble. Very, very few people knew what I did. And Dad never knew about some of the things that happened or he would have stopped it even if it meant having to mortgage our home to pay for my brother’s treatment. But every once in a while I would run into trouble and Del was the worst. Not even Jax knows but that is only because I thought Del was gone or dead. To be honest I thought it was in jail for beating up some woman in Chattanooga. I’ll have to tell Jax about it tonight. He knows who Delorey is and more than likely he’ll put a flaming bell around my neck once he finds out the rest of it. Del is just not someone you mess with.”
Ignoring my aside about Jax’s likely reaction Lon asked, “What makes the guy so dangerous … besides obviously packing enough fire power for a small Mexican cartel.”
Reggie snorted and as I continued to look for potential boobie locations he explained. “The guy is just bad. Even my ol’ man never had anything to do with him. The Caulderman Brothers avoided him too. Anything that Del Baumgarten get involved with he tends to go in and take over.”
Looking through my binoculars I said, “Which is what he might be positioning himself for here. Anyone know if that idiot without a coat on is Suicide?”
“Yeah, that’s him,” Lon chuckled despite the situation.
“Does he think his tats are going to keep him warm or something?”
Another chuckle. “Apparently. You should have seen it when the weather was warmer. He’s has enough tattoos that he looks like he is wearing a full body stocking. He even has them on his face and inside his ears.”
I turned and looked at him. “And you’re complaining about me getting close to town? How close did you have to be to see inside his ear?”
“The cup of his ear Lydie,” Reggie explained. “And he wears these ginormous gauges in his ear lobes. The rest of him is pierced too … nipple rings, bars, chains attached to I don’t even want to think about it places.”
Blanching I said, “No wonder Del is acting like he can’t stand the guy.”
“Huh?” Cal asked at my non sequiter.
“Del is a major homophobe. He thinks a few tattoos here and there are manly but once you get into any other body art or take something over the top and you get on his never-to-be-respected list of potential queers. It’s real easy to get on the list, almost impossible to get off.”
Reggie pondered, “I always wondered how he stayed alive in prison with that kind of attitude.”
I kicked out at him, “Little inappropriate conversational topic.”
“Huh?”
I looked at Lon and apologized. “Sorry. Ol’ Reg seems to be unable to understand the concept of tact.”
Lon blanked his face and went back to looking over the scene but Cal said, “Jax told us it would be like having Abbot and Costello for company when you two get going.”
Reggie and I had developed an unusual friendship. I could pick on and criticize him. He could do the same to me. But neither one of us would put up with anyone else doing it to the other. Kind of like siblings. I looked at Reggie through my lashes and decided to get a little wicked. “So what about it Reg? We’ve got a clean slate below us. We’ll have to be able to set the boobies in the dark and not trip them as we evac. I’ve spotted two dozen potential trip line locations. Twice as many pressure or vibration-trigger placings. The bridge will be a cinch but that’s all boring and ordinary stuff. Where do you think the sulfuric acid traps would go best.”
“Wait,” he said getting into the spirit of things. “I wanna play with those Bangalores again.”
“You just like to blow stuff up. We need victim-activated devices not something we have to activate ourselves, though having a few in reserve is a good idea in case we get cut off.”
“Fine, have it your way. What we need to do is boobie the buildings that look out this way to keep gang members from being able to use them as cover or vantage points to shoot from. Forgetting about how we’ll get close enough for a second I say that all of the steps and thresholds need to be boobied with pressure switches. Even the footpaths around the buildings should have some surprise packages in place.”
Cal’s face was priceless but Reggie and I had already forgotten about him and gotten serious about the job we were sent to do. “I wish there was time to dig pits but I can’t see how if the move is going to be made soon. It took longer than I expected to dig the holes that we did for the caches. The ground is already frozen solid in places and there is too much clay and gravel around here to make it easy at any time of year. I think they lined this hill when we were little because of erosion.”
“Yeah, they laid a metal net before putting the erosion control in place too until the grasses could take over and hold the soil,” he reminded me.
“Pooh. That’s right.” Thinking I said, “What about some widow makers hung in the trees around here with some trip lines attached to them. Trip causes the rope or wire to swing free. Widow maker comes down. Poof … imbedded spikes or thin glass bottle with acid or something along those lines. Wouldn’t be a killing device – unless the guy was just unlucky – but those types of things cause damage and might encourage panic or something.”
“I like it. They’ll be looking at the ground and suddenly stuff will come at them from above. Keep them off balance.”
We continued on in that vein with me eventually pulling out a hand drawn map of the immediate area and we started penciling in what could be done as well as adding some tactical information and some additional details to specific landmarks such as the number of pilings on the bridge, the number and placement of windows on specific buildings, and the composition of the ground in various locations. Lon looked at Cal and said, “I wouldn’t go bragging about this where your mother will find out about it if you ever want to go on another run.”
Cal shook his head, “I ain’t stupid. And if Meemaw finds out about any of this we’ll all be on stone soup and water until she can change our minds.”
Not wanting to see any of my sex belittled for being protective which is our nature I said, “She has a job to do just like we do. She just goes about it different.”
Cal asked, “So you’re ok with all of this? Even though you’re a girl?”
“Being a girl doesn’t have a whole lot to do with it, at least not for me. And I wouldn’t say that I’m OK with it. I look at it as we have a choice. We can either sit back and let the poison fester and build to the point that it will kill us or we can amputate the infected flesh.”
“But didn’t some of those kids down there used to be your friends?”
I shrugged as nonchalantly as I could manage despite how the question made me feel. “Some of them. But we all have choices to make. If they’ve sided with the gang then they are responsible for the consequences they face because of their choice. If they are victims … I’ll do what I can to make sure their life doesn’t get worse but right now I can’t tell one from the other and until I’m sure then I don’t have much choice but to treat them all like they are infected and find some way to quarantine them.”
After that Cal gave me space that I hadn’t asked for. I guess I was kind of strange as far as females go but I’d been forced to deal with the aftermath of what terrorists, both foreign and domestic, could do to simply leave the battles up to someone else. And if we were going to win I wanted the victory to be decisive, not one that we would have to continue to fight over and over until way more people got hurt than would have been necessary had we done it the right way the first time around.
It wasn’t long after that that we packed up and started back to the Home Place. I was about to get in the truck when I stopped and realized that while the cold had made everything quiet, it had become an unnatural quiet. Lon and Reggie noticed it at the same time and Cal picked up on it as soon as he observed his father’s reaction.
2ndEviltwin
Inactive
Now that just isn't nice to just leave us begging for moarrrrr.
sssarawolf
Has No Life - Lives on TB
Me thinks they have been seen. Thank you Kathy
2ndEviltwin
Inactive
Mother hen is verry good with that effect. Build up up and leave ya begging for moarrr..
I am at the BOL. Spent the day at my parents' place trying to help them get their place in shape. Sucks to get older and not have family around to help more than once or twice a month. I try and help where I can but my mom has developed a bit of a hoarding thing and though I love her dearly, it flat out drives me nuts. My dad isn't much better. Sometimes being with them is like being around Abbott and Costello. They were always this way ... two peas in a pod, loving each other so much even strangers can see it, but with the ability to drive each other batty at the same time. My dad will be 70 this year and Mom not much younger and they still chase each other around the house like a couple of teenagers ... although the chases are a lot slower than they were while I was growing up. LOL!
Anyway, did manage to finish the next piece though it might not be exactly what folks expected. Things will be coming to a head soon but like with any police work or soldiers work the action comes in waves intersperced with quiet stretches that are necessary if you are going to keep your sanity.
-----------------------------------
They Just Don’t Make Emperors Like They Used To
Part 4
Lon went to hand signals and we all eased down and stepped back into the trees and shrubs surrounding where we had hidden the truck. It didn’t take long before the reason for the environmental disturbance to become obvious. The air was blue for a moment before a male voice muttered angrily, “I don’t see why we have to come up here and take a picture. It’s too cold for this ****.”
Another male voice answered, “That’s why you ain’t the boss Wayne. Mr. Baumgarten is and if he says we come up here and take a picture for him, then that’s what we’re gonna do. He knows what he needs it for and we don’t need to concern ourselves about it. Soldiers don’t question orders, you just do it.”
Snidely the man called Wayne said, “Perry you are such a brown noser.”
There was a little bit of shoving and then the one called Perry said, “Don’t say that man. I like being a soldier. It’s a man’s job. Mr. Baumgarten hears you say that and maybe I don’t get to be a soldier no more and have to go back to just being a mule. I like the job I have now; pay’s better and so are the fringe bennies. Mr. Baumgarten treats his soldiers good and rewards loyalty.”
“Perry, Perry, Perry the great big suck up.”
WHAM! The sound of fist hitting flesh couldn’t have been plainer than if I’d seen it happen. “You listen here Wayne. I go down I’m gonna take you with me. You got more to lose than I do and you know what I mean.”
The threat was real but incomprehensible since there was no accompanying back story. Whatever it was the threat was enough because Wayne muttered, “Geez man, take a pill or something. No need to be so damn sensitive.” Trying to reassert control he asked Perry, “You lock the car?”
“Ain’t nobody up here otherwise Mr. Baumgarten wouldn’t have sent us with no back up. Let’s just take the picture and get going. It’s cold.”
His companion snorted in high dudgeon and asked, “Isn’t that what I said in the first place?! Told you we should have accepted those jackets from Suicide.”
“Naw man. Mr. Baumgarten want us to have jackets he’ll give us jackets. He start seeing you takin’ gifts from people then maybe he wonders if you’re loyal or not, wondering if you can be bought.”
Wayne started muttering something to affect that what someone didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them and they skidded and slid down the half-mile goat track that went out to the primary overlook.
Reggie and I signaled to Lon that we were going to check their back trail while he and his son kept an eye on the two stooges. It didn’t take but a moment to reach the car as it was in the turnoff near the overlook’s pull out but up into the trees a little ways like they had been hoping to be able to simply drive to the ledge without having to do any walking. Idiots. They’re lucky they didn’t get stuck. The ground was littered with several inches of wet leaves and there was nothing but clay mud under that.
The leaves were like a giant wet sponge under our boots but thankfully didn’t leave anything to track as we moved through. We didn’t mess with the inside of the new Dodge Charger the two men had driven up in but did reach in and pop the trunk to see what they wanted locked up. Three duffle bags – all with UT insignia – lay side by side. We unzipped them and when Reggie saw what was in there he nearly had a spazz attack in glee. We reached in and emptied the duffle bags – orange would be too easy to notice amongst the trees – and hauled the stuff away to the bushes then closed the trunk.
Reggie breathed under his breath. “Lydie, I’ve got a toy I was saving for one of the caches.”
He pulled it out of his pack and showed me. I couldn’t help but grin and say, “You naughty, naughty boy. You know we need plenty of time so it can’t be traced back to us.”
“It goes up to a hundred and twenty minutes.”
I nodded, “Set it for that but we have to put it somewhere they won’t accidentally find it.”
We didn’t have time for much so Reggie crawled under and attached it to the rear axle. When he was done I said, “Let’s get out of here before Lon starts worrying and has to come look for us. What doesn’t fit in our day packs we’ll just have to carry in our arms.”
We were juggling the mess we’d … er … confiscated – having to jump off the path as Perry and Wayne passed us by.
“All this for a stupid picture,” complained the one named Wayne.
Perry immediately replied, “I told you that Mr. Baumgarten …”
“Oh for cripes sake. Drop it already. I get so sick and tired of hearing about his majesty and how he’s going to take over the whole state and then …”
Perry stopped and shoved Wayne in the chest. “Shut up before someone hears you. You know that’s super-secret. The only reason we know is because we accidentally overheard Mr. B and some of the big guys talking the other night. Anybody find out where we were and why and it ain’t gonna matter that overhearing was an accident. You know what the Boss will do to us.”
“Oh for cripes sake,” Wayne said again, but he also didn’t say another word about what they’d overheard.
Reggie and I just shook our heads as the two men nonchalantly climbed into the car and pulled out. They hadn’t bothered to look around the car to see if anyone had been there and they didn’t even make an attempt to be careful as they pulled back onto the road.
“Idiots,” Reggie muttered in disgust. “If that’s what Delorey’s soldiers are like we aren’t going to have much trouble.”
With more caution I shook my head. “We don’t know if that is the caliber of the men they have, only that these two particular soldiers lack something to be desired. They are obviously low on the totem pole and don’t have much authority if they could be – well whatever but probably killed if I had to use my imagination – if they got caught accidentally overhearing something because they were somewhere they weren’t supposed to be.”
Reggie shrugged and admitted, “Maybe.”
We started back and when Lon saw us coming he asked, “What took you …?” Then he got a good look at what was in our hands and nearly barked, “Where the Same Hill did you get that?!”
All I told him was, “They should have locked the car.”
“Locked the … are you kidding me?!”
Reggie and I looked at each other and then shrugged. Reggie said, “It’s sad really. Drug dealers don’t get no respect no more. Can’t go anywhere without locking their cars and such. People just take their crap and don’t even say thank you.”
Giving a false outraged look I said, “We did too say thank you … it’s just gonna arrive about two hours late is all.”
When Lon finally got the explanation about that out of us he turned a little green and practically threw us in the truck and told us to haul butt. We loaded up and headed out, doing our best to not leave a trail. Lon stayed tense until we were well away but still remained quiet until we pulled up to the Houchins Farm. I stopped the truck and got out and said, “Gotta do this again sometime. It was fun. We’ll split things halvesies and …”
Then with Vernon, Mr. Houchins and the rest of us watching in confusion he doubled over in laughter. “I swear, if you two were my kids my head would be as smooth as a cue ball.”
Tears were streaming down his face before more than a moment had passed. That necessitated some explanations.
Afterwards Mr. Houchins shook his head and tried to look stern and grandfatherly, unfortunately his mustache and beard couldn’t quite hide the grin that was escaping. “I swear. Semtex. Of all things. And detonators to go with it. And then you two loose screws had the nerve to stick a timed detonator to their car? Lydie, you better run on home cause when Jax finds out what the two of you been up to he’s gonna have some words for you I reckon.”
We split the haul 50/50 just like I said and then did as we were told. Besides we were both starving. Aggrieved at their lack of appreciation Reggie said, “I don’t know what they’re complaining about. It was a good haul. And that explosion should cover our trail. They’ll wonder if it was a mistake someone made, if Suicide sabotaged them, or if someone else did. Or if what I hear my ol’ man say about Delorey is true, the man’ll let it about that the two men were being set up and they’d failed the test somehow. People will then be that much more scared of disappointing him. How can we lose with that kind of set up?”
I shrugged. “Anything is possible and nothing comes for free. We covered our trail but who knows? Delorey isn’t stupid and we have no idea who he has working for him. It was just too good an opportunity to pass up. Besides Lon and Mr. Houchins and Vernon weren’t complaining, at least not much and probably more because we didn’t get their ok before we did it. They just felt they had to … to …”
“To what?” Reggie asked still irritated.
“I don’t know. Some people just feel it is their responsibility to be sober and serious about stuff. They mean well but between you and me it’s just wasted energy where we’re concern.”
“Why?” he asked with a grin once he understood I could care less about the admonitions that we’d gotten.
I gave him a unconcerned grin right back. “’Cause we’re already ruint. If words could have fixed what makes me different then Dad would have done it years ago. Personally I think Dad liked me just fine, especially considering he taught me most of what I know.”
Still smiling Reggie dared to venture, “What about your mom?”
“Welllll … Let’s just say that Dad and I had an agreement. What Mom didn’t know about wouldn’t upset her.”
We both chuckled a moment then got a little more serious as we discussed where the Semtex might have come from and how it might be put to good use in the coming battle. We arrived home in a good mood right before the sun started to go down. Jax was there as soon as we pulled in. “Everything go OK?” he asked.
“Yep. What about ‘round here?”
“Uh …”
“Uh what?” I asked cautiously noting his tone.
From behind me Alexis said dryly, “You missed the drama. Your friend Ashley thought she was in labor.”
“What?!”
I started to turn and run for the house but Jax stopped me. “It was only Braxton-Hicks contractions.”
“You mean false labor? But is that supposed to be happening so soon?” I asked, still worried that something wasn’t as it should be.
“Actually you can have Braxton-Hicks contractions by the end of your first trimester. I had to take a quiz on it for my EMT training because of emergency calls for pre-term labor. Now that she knows what they are Ashley says she won’t freak out so much but it was touch and go there for a bit. She was so upset once I suspected Braxton Hicks I worried that she’d put herself into real labor if we couldn’t get her to calm down. Just to be on the safe side I’ve suggested she stay in bed for the next two days and get some extra rest. Getting off her feet might not be a bad thing either way, her ankles have been swelling up quite a bit. I’m going to start checking her blood pressure a couple of times a day at different points to see if it is as elevated as it was today or if today was a one-off because she was so upset.”
Almost afraid to ask I said, “How’s Aston?”
“Let’s just say I now know why one of my former instructors said that one of the reasons why we had to remain calm was not for the expectant mom’s sake but so we wouldn’t clock the expectant father.”
I winced and Alexis snorted a surprised laugh. I looked over to see Reggie and Ginger doing their normal meet and greet and she asked, “What is up with those two? Are they a thing or not?”
Since I decided she was curious and not being mean I explained. “It’s like the mating dance of some really exotic birds, isn’t it? They like each other but Reggie … you know how it is, his father was a jerk about women and so was his big brother, so Reggie takes it the other direction and even though he really likes Ginger he’s too worried about making a mistake or hurting her somehow so he’s driving himself – and her – crazy trying to decide whether to accept what she is offering or run for the hills like a martyr. Just try and leave them be; they’ll have to figure it out on their own if they really want to make it work.” She gave me a look and I asked, “TMI?”
She shook her head and said, “Nah. More surprised you explained it.”
“Why?”
She shook her head again, unable or unwilling to explain, and simply said, “You’re weird, you know that?”
I shrugged and smiled and batted my eyes at Jax and said, “I’ve been told that it is part of my charm.”
Right then Reggie’s timing put the kibosh on my own sweet greeting when he asked, “You tell him about the Semtex yet?”
After a few high decibel rounds of discussion Jax finally calmed down enough to admit that he would have liked to have been there to see it. “I just hope no innocent is around when the car explodes.”
Reggie and I winced realizing we hadn’t really taken it into consideration. It kinda sucked all the hilarity right out of what we’d done and turned it back into the serious act that it was. More than likely someone was going to die, maybe more than one someone, and we had no real control over who it would be.
Just as bad was that my suspicion was right in that Jax decided that if Delorey was around I wasn’t going to be. From that point forward all of the midnight runs to do the booby trapping was done with me holding the fort at home and Reggie supervising the placement of the devices and traps. Did I want to join in and be a part of it in a physical sense and not just as a cheerleader? Yes. I’d be lying if I said otherwise. Was it very hard for me to keep my mouth shut about what I’d prefer to be doing? Again, yes. And for the most part I kept my attitude wrangled and under control although there were a few times that someone being unkind might have called it a pout. I wasn’t pouting, not really, but I wasn’t used to being left out either and that is how I was feeling.
“Hon …”
I held up my hand, palm outward. “Don’t. I don’t need platitudes and I want them even less.” I then continued brushing my hair out before re-braiding it before going to bed.
“You are really angry about this aren’t you?”
Trying to behave like I thought an adult ought to I told him, “Put yourself in my place and answer your own question.”
He sighed. “I have. And I’m surprised you haven’t made more noise about it. I’m now wondering why?”
Splitting my hair into three sections I started weaving. “Because while it is what I want to do – make no mistake about that – I also realize it isn’t going to get me anywhere. And on top of that I have to be able to do what is best for the team.”
“We’re doing this for your sake Lydie.”
Getting irritated that he just had to discuss this right before we went to bed I nearly snapped, “Well don’t. You say you put yourself in my shoes but I’m beginning to wonder if you really have. Do you know how stupid it makes me feel to not be included? Oh, Lydie can’t because she was a total dip and fell for the wrong guy at the wrong time and now that she’s fallen for the right guy at the right time but maybe it’s not the right time after all because the wrong guy is still trying to use her for some nefarious scheme …”
“Nefarious scheme?” he chuckled.
I nearly threw the box of talcum powder that sat on my mother’s dressing table at him. “Yes. What else should I call it? He doesn’t want my address to send me flowers and candy for Valentine’s Day.”
“Uh …”
“Oh just forget it. I swear, sometimes guys are so clueless. Have you ever once thought that it isn’t that I resent being put in this gilded cage but what it says about what you think of me?”
“Lydie, don’t get …”
“What? Emotional? I wasn’t the one that brought this up. I wasn’t the one that wanted to know why I hadn’t reacted worse than I had. Here’s a clue … because I’m holding onto my temper by a thread!!”
I got up and had decided to throw the talcum powder after all until I saw Kelly’s wide eyed observation and her confusion over my angry shout. I turned to Jax and snapped, “Fix this.”
“Huh?”
“Look at her, now she’s scared of me on top of everything else.” I put my robe on over my flannel PJs and left the room more quietly than I really felt like being. Once I shut the door I realized there was no place for me to go in the house; no place to escape to. Every corner was full … of people and of their things. I went down the stairs as noiselessly as I could, grabbed my jacket, and then stepped out onto the porch and breathed in the almost painfully cold air and shuddered. We could have used some of the summer heat right then but the memory of it was enough to last me for a few moments.
A couple of minutes later Jax stepped out onto the porch and before I could object had me wrapped in a hug from behind. “I know you aren’t going to believe me Lydie but …”
Quietly and sadly I told him, “Just drop it. It doesn’t matter. This is the way it is and I have to live with it. It is up to me to handle it, not everyone else to make it easy on me.”
It was pretty obvious he didn’t know what to say to that or how to make it better. I don’t think he could have done either one – no one could have – regardless of whether he’d been able to find some words or not. After a moment he asked, “Are you mad because Alexis is going?”
“No. Her fate is hers, not mine. I’m angry because I’m not going. But more to the point I’m hurt because of how you all handled it … like I’m incapable of using my commonsense and realizing that I’m a liability and choosing not to go of my own free will.”
He tried to peer at me in the dark but I wouldn’t look at him. “Wait. You mean …?”
“Yeah. I could have made that choice all on my own after reviewing all of the facts. Instead I got bits and pieces while you all decided for me and tried to figure out some way to make it more palatable so that I wouldn’t come unglued.” I stepped away and finally turned and looked at him. “Do you understand what I’m saying? First off you all made the choice for me. Second, you never really told me all that was going on; I had to guess most of it. And third, you automatically assumed that I would react badly rather than giving me credit for having the sense God gave a rock. You don’t know what I would have chosen, you just assumed. I’ve included everyone in everything here at the home place … all of it … even when I knew what would be the most constructive course of action I still included you in the decision making process, gave you input. In return what do I get? Oh, Lydie is too stupid to see how things are. She’s too much of a girl and emotional to make a wise decision. That more than anything is why I feel the way I do. And that more than anything else is why I understand why Matt thinks the way he does. When you don’t have anything else but your smarts to get through this life with, and then people act like you couldn’t rub two brain cells together to make a spark, it is like they’ve taken your value from you.”
He took a step forward but I took two steps away. “Lydie … that’s not … not … You’ve got it all wrong. And you’ve got lots of other stuff … you aren’t just smart.”
“Oh of course not. I have the Home Place here. Which by the way everything here came from one of two places … either it was left to me by my parents or it has been salvaged after you came into my life. I didn’t create any of this on my own … I only took advantage of it. But wait, I don’t really have the Home Place anymore do I? In a real sense it belongs to all of us now. Think about it, could I really kick anyone out? Or would the group come together and wonder if I’ve lost my marbles and overrule me? I’m not saying I didn’t invite this on myself but still … I thought I was doing it because I got something in return … some companionship and respect. That’s all I’ve really asked for. Instead I have to deal with … with …”
My chest was feeling heavy and I absolutely refused to cry over how I felt. I turned away and stared out at the night sky, the stars looking more starry than they should have because of the unshed tears getting in the way of my focus.
Jax sounded upset and hurt when he asked, “Why didn’t you say any of this before now? Why let it go this far?”
Shaking my head I answered, “Because I wanted someone to realize I might be not be so selfish that my feelings were more important than the group’s safety; that I would be smart enough to make the right choice. I wanted to believe that eventually someone would see it even if you were too blinded by your need to protect me. Instead all I get is people walking around me like I’m gonna blow at any second, like I’ll blame them for something that isn’t their fault to begin with. I don’t blame anyone for Matt being who and what he has become. That would be like blaming Alexis and Gennie for what happened to them; it just wouldn’t be fair. Why do you all have to keep blaming me for the fact that I couldn’t see Matt for what he was until it was too late?! Do you have any idea how much it hurts to constantly have people acting like I must be an idiot because I didn’t see him for what he’s become before he became it? Even worse, that somehow or other I might still be vulnerable to being manipulated by him?!”
I couldn’t find where the hurt stopped and the anger began or vice versa. I felt like shaking like a dog, trying to get rid whatever soaked my coat, only this was an emotional coating that I wanted to be shed of. I turned and tried to go down the steps but Jax pulled me back. “It’s too cold. If you can’t stand to have me near you I’ll go but I don’t want you to get sick because I’ve made you upset.”
I turned and thumped him on the chest. “Stop being so nice and reasonable. I … I …”
Then we mutually fell into a tight embrace. It didn’t make things better but it kept me from flying apart so I guess you could say it kept things from getting worse. Into my hair Jax whispered, “I didn’t mean to make you feel like I didn’t respect you Lydie. I can’t speak for anyone else but I’m positive it is the same way for them. I never meant to make you feel this way.”
“Forget it. Just … just forget it. I can’t explain how I feel and shouldn’t expect anyone to understand. Dad always said that expecting something out of other people to the point that you needed it was the first step down a rough row to hoe.”
His sigh was a deep one and I felt it through my own body. “Lydie I respected your dad a lot but I didn’t always agree with him. That saying he had is one of the things I didn’t totally agree with him on. It might work with strangers but you shouldn’t feel that way with family … and especially not with your lover. Do me a favor … if you insist on being that way with other people, please don’t be that way with me. I’ve been expecting things out of you left and right ever since Kelly and I followed you home like a couple of stray mutts; I’ve been expecting them because I needed to and because I wanted to. I don’t like the idea that you don’t feel you can … or should … expect things out of me, or need things from me.”
“Of course I do … but I have to be able to accept when something isn’t there or doesn’t happen. I can’t just fall apart. I … I can’t. There’s too much riding on me being strong and in control.”
Quietly he said, “You wanted me to see what you’re saying I missed; that you’d make the choice not to ask to be included in the raid we are going on tomorrow night.”
“I’m saying regardless of what I would have chosen, and I like to believe that I would have chosen what was best for the group or at least had some input in it, but I was never given the chance because no one thought I had the intelligence not to behave stupidly about something that was this important. You even had to ask why I wasn’t making a scene Jax. Do you have any idea how that felt? That you had to ask why I wasn’t acting like a complete ass?”
After a moment he admitted, “I never thought of it like that.”
I had started to shiver, whether from nerves or the cold I’m still not sure. I pushed away from him and said, “We need to get back to Kelly. Plus you need to rest; tomorrow is going to be a bear.”
“We need to talk this out.”
“No, we don’t. It is what it is. There’s nothing that can be said that will change what happened and how I felt about it; there is nothing that can be said to change your mind on the subject because even after I’ve explained it to you I can see you still felt like you only did what you did with the best of intentions and would do it again.” His slightly guilty look told me I’d guessed correctly. “If I keep talking it is just going to make it seem like I’m heaping coals on your head or whining to try and get my way and that isn’t what I want to do. If you keep talking to try and get me to agree with you I can pretty much guarantee we’re going to wind up sleeping in two different places. Just let it go.”
I turned to go back in the house but when I put my hand on the door knob he pulled me back. “Are … are we OK?
I told him, “Of course we are.”
Doubtfully he said, “It doesn’t feel that way.”
I shrugged. “Well we are on my side.”
“You sure? Because it feels like you are pulling away from me.”
I wasn’t sure I was up for it but I tried to comfort him. “I’m wiped out Jax. This … this hurt … it still hurts and maybe more that I told you and you still don’t quite understand where I’m coming from. But I’m not running away, I’m dealing with it. Give me some credit will you? I’m trying to be a grown up rather than throwing a tantrum. I’m trying not to handle things and manipulate people like Matt would. Life is just too short to repeat other people’s mistakes. Just give me time. Wouldn’t you want that if you were in my boots?”
He started kissing me and I let him. I think he needed it more than me. I also let him lead me inside and up to our room. I let him put me to bed after we put Kelly down for hers. And I let him do everything else we did that night. He seemed to need it. It wasn’t a power thing, by that point I could tell the difference, it seemed that he was trying to comfort me but in reality I think he needed the comfort himself.
I lay awake long after Jax had fallen asleep wishing I hadn’t let any of what I was feeling out. I’d held it in up to then, I should have been able to hold it in until after the guys went to try and assassinate Suicide. I hadn’t wanted the last night I had with Jax to be about make up sex.
“Lydie … are you still awake?” Jax asked sleepily.
“No.”
“Good,” he mumbled and pulled me closer, sharing his body warmth.
I sighed but not audibly. I decided to make the next day as easy on him as I could. I didn’t want him thinking about our head butting. I wanted him focused on his own safety, getting the job done, and then coming home. I suspected that intentionally killing someone was going to weigh on him more than he was willing to admit.
Anyway, did manage to finish the next piece though it might not be exactly what folks expected. Things will be coming to a head soon but like with any police work or soldiers work the action comes in waves intersperced with quiet stretches that are necessary if you are going to keep your sanity.
-----------------------------------
They Just Don’t Make Emperors Like They Used To
Part 4
Lon went to hand signals and we all eased down and stepped back into the trees and shrubs surrounding where we had hidden the truck. It didn’t take long before the reason for the environmental disturbance to become obvious. The air was blue for a moment before a male voice muttered angrily, “I don’t see why we have to come up here and take a picture. It’s too cold for this ****.”
Another male voice answered, “That’s why you ain’t the boss Wayne. Mr. Baumgarten is and if he says we come up here and take a picture for him, then that’s what we’re gonna do. He knows what he needs it for and we don’t need to concern ourselves about it. Soldiers don’t question orders, you just do it.”
Snidely the man called Wayne said, “Perry you are such a brown noser.”
There was a little bit of shoving and then the one called Perry said, “Don’t say that man. I like being a soldier. It’s a man’s job. Mr. Baumgarten hears you say that and maybe I don’t get to be a soldier no more and have to go back to just being a mule. I like the job I have now; pay’s better and so are the fringe bennies. Mr. Baumgarten treats his soldiers good and rewards loyalty.”
“Perry, Perry, Perry the great big suck up.”
WHAM! The sound of fist hitting flesh couldn’t have been plainer than if I’d seen it happen. “You listen here Wayne. I go down I’m gonna take you with me. You got more to lose than I do and you know what I mean.”
The threat was real but incomprehensible since there was no accompanying back story. Whatever it was the threat was enough because Wayne muttered, “Geez man, take a pill or something. No need to be so damn sensitive.” Trying to reassert control he asked Perry, “You lock the car?”
“Ain’t nobody up here otherwise Mr. Baumgarten wouldn’t have sent us with no back up. Let’s just take the picture and get going. It’s cold.”
His companion snorted in high dudgeon and asked, “Isn’t that what I said in the first place?! Told you we should have accepted those jackets from Suicide.”
“Naw man. Mr. Baumgarten want us to have jackets he’ll give us jackets. He start seeing you takin’ gifts from people then maybe he wonders if you’re loyal or not, wondering if you can be bought.”
Wayne started muttering something to affect that what someone didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them and they skidded and slid down the half-mile goat track that went out to the primary overlook.
Reggie and I signaled to Lon that we were going to check their back trail while he and his son kept an eye on the two stooges. It didn’t take but a moment to reach the car as it was in the turnoff near the overlook’s pull out but up into the trees a little ways like they had been hoping to be able to simply drive to the ledge without having to do any walking. Idiots. They’re lucky they didn’t get stuck. The ground was littered with several inches of wet leaves and there was nothing but clay mud under that.
The leaves were like a giant wet sponge under our boots but thankfully didn’t leave anything to track as we moved through. We didn’t mess with the inside of the new Dodge Charger the two men had driven up in but did reach in and pop the trunk to see what they wanted locked up. Three duffle bags – all with UT insignia – lay side by side. We unzipped them and when Reggie saw what was in there he nearly had a spazz attack in glee. We reached in and emptied the duffle bags – orange would be too easy to notice amongst the trees – and hauled the stuff away to the bushes then closed the trunk.
Reggie breathed under his breath. “Lydie, I’ve got a toy I was saving for one of the caches.”
He pulled it out of his pack and showed me. I couldn’t help but grin and say, “You naughty, naughty boy. You know we need plenty of time so it can’t be traced back to us.”
“It goes up to a hundred and twenty minutes.”
I nodded, “Set it for that but we have to put it somewhere they won’t accidentally find it.”
We didn’t have time for much so Reggie crawled under and attached it to the rear axle. When he was done I said, “Let’s get out of here before Lon starts worrying and has to come look for us. What doesn’t fit in our day packs we’ll just have to carry in our arms.”
We were juggling the mess we’d … er … confiscated – having to jump off the path as Perry and Wayne passed us by.
“All this for a stupid picture,” complained the one named Wayne.
Perry immediately replied, “I told you that Mr. Baumgarten …”
“Oh for cripes sake. Drop it already. I get so sick and tired of hearing about his majesty and how he’s going to take over the whole state and then …”
Perry stopped and shoved Wayne in the chest. “Shut up before someone hears you. You know that’s super-secret. The only reason we know is because we accidentally overheard Mr. B and some of the big guys talking the other night. Anybody find out where we were and why and it ain’t gonna matter that overhearing was an accident. You know what the Boss will do to us.”
“Oh for cripes sake,” Wayne said again, but he also didn’t say another word about what they’d overheard.
Reggie and I just shook our heads as the two men nonchalantly climbed into the car and pulled out. They hadn’t bothered to look around the car to see if anyone had been there and they didn’t even make an attempt to be careful as they pulled back onto the road.
“Idiots,” Reggie muttered in disgust. “If that’s what Delorey’s soldiers are like we aren’t going to have much trouble.”
With more caution I shook my head. “We don’t know if that is the caliber of the men they have, only that these two particular soldiers lack something to be desired. They are obviously low on the totem pole and don’t have much authority if they could be – well whatever but probably killed if I had to use my imagination – if they got caught accidentally overhearing something because they were somewhere they weren’t supposed to be.”
Reggie shrugged and admitted, “Maybe.”
We started back and when Lon saw us coming he asked, “What took you …?” Then he got a good look at what was in our hands and nearly barked, “Where the Same Hill did you get that?!”
All I told him was, “They should have locked the car.”
“Locked the … are you kidding me?!”
Reggie and I looked at each other and then shrugged. Reggie said, “It’s sad really. Drug dealers don’t get no respect no more. Can’t go anywhere without locking their cars and such. People just take their crap and don’t even say thank you.”
Giving a false outraged look I said, “We did too say thank you … it’s just gonna arrive about two hours late is all.”
When Lon finally got the explanation about that out of us he turned a little green and practically threw us in the truck and told us to haul butt. We loaded up and headed out, doing our best to not leave a trail. Lon stayed tense until we were well away but still remained quiet until we pulled up to the Houchins Farm. I stopped the truck and got out and said, “Gotta do this again sometime. It was fun. We’ll split things halvesies and …”
Then with Vernon, Mr. Houchins and the rest of us watching in confusion he doubled over in laughter. “I swear, if you two were my kids my head would be as smooth as a cue ball.”
Tears were streaming down his face before more than a moment had passed. That necessitated some explanations.
Afterwards Mr. Houchins shook his head and tried to look stern and grandfatherly, unfortunately his mustache and beard couldn’t quite hide the grin that was escaping. “I swear. Semtex. Of all things. And detonators to go with it. And then you two loose screws had the nerve to stick a timed detonator to their car? Lydie, you better run on home cause when Jax finds out what the two of you been up to he’s gonna have some words for you I reckon.”
We split the haul 50/50 just like I said and then did as we were told. Besides we were both starving. Aggrieved at their lack of appreciation Reggie said, “I don’t know what they’re complaining about. It was a good haul. And that explosion should cover our trail. They’ll wonder if it was a mistake someone made, if Suicide sabotaged them, or if someone else did. Or if what I hear my ol’ man say about Delorey is true, the man’ll let it about that the two men were being set up and they’d failed the test somehow. People will then be that much more scared of disappointing him. How can we lose with that kind of set up?”
I shrugged. “Anything is possible and nothing comes for free. We covered our trail but who knows? Delorey isn’t stupid and we have no idea who he has working for him. It was just too good an opportunity to pass up. Besides Lon and Mr. Houchins and Vernon weren’t complaining, at least not much and probably more because we didn’t get their ok before we did it. They just felt they had to … to …”
“To what?” Reggie asked still irritated.
“I don’t know. Some people just feel it is their responsibility to be sober and serious about stuff. They mean well but between you and me it’s just wasted energy where we’re concern.”
“Why?” he asked with a grin once he understood I could care less about the admonitions that we’d gotten.
I gave him a unconcerned grin right back. “’Cause we’re already ruint. If words could have fixed what makes me different then Dad would have done it years ago. Personally I think Dad liked me just fine, especially considering he taught me most of what I know.”
Still smiling Reggie dared to venture, “What about your mom?”
“Welllll … Let’s just say that Dad and I had an agreement. What Mom didn’t know about wouldn’t upset her.”
We both chuckled a moment then got a little more serious as we discussed where the Semtex might have come from and how it might be put to good use in the coming battle. We arrived home in a good mood right before the sun started to go down. Jax was there as soon as we pulled in. “Everything go OK?” he asked.
“Yep. What about ‘round here?”
“Uh …”
“Uh what?” I asked cautiously noting his tone.
From behind me Alexis said dryly, “You missed the drama. Your friend Ashley thought she was in labor.”
“What?!”
I started to turn and run for the house but Jax stopped me. “It was only Braxton-Hicks contractions.”
“You mean false labor? But is that supposed to be happening so soon?” I asked, still worried that something wasn’t as it should be.
“Actually you can have Braxton-Hicks contractions by the end of your first trimester. I had to take a quiz on it for my EMT training because of emergency calls for pre-term labor. Now that she knows what they are Ashley says she won’t freak out so much but it was touch and go there for a bit. She was so upset once I suspected Braxton Hicks I worried that she’d put herself into real labor if we couldn’t get her to calm down. Just to be on the safe side I’ve suggested she stay in bed for the next two days and get some extra rest. Getting off her feet might not be a bad thing either way, her ankles have been swelling up quite a bit. I’m going to start checking her blood pressure a couple of times a day at different points to see if it is as elevated as it was today or if today was a one-off because she was so upset.”
Almost afraid to ask I said, “How’s Aston?”
“Let’s just say I now know why one of my former instructors said that one of the reasons why we had to remain calm was not for the expectant mom’s sake but so we wouldn’t clock the expectant father.”
I winced and Alexis snorted a surprised laugh. I looked over to see Reggie and Ginger doing their normal meet and greet and she asked, “What is up with those two? Are they a thing or not?”
Since I decided she was curious and not being mean I explained. “It’s like the mating dance of some really exotic birds, isn’t it? They like each other but Reggie … you know how it is, his father was a jerk about women and so was his big brother, so Reggie takes it the other direction and even though he really likes Ginger he’s too worried about making a mistake or hurting her somehow so he’s driving himself – and her – crazy trying to decide whether to accept what she is offering or run for the hills like a martyr. Just try and leave them be; they’ll have to figure it out on their own if they really want to make it work.” She gave me a look and I asked, “TMI?”
She shook her head and said, “Nah. More surprised you explained it.”
“Why?”
She shook her head again, unable or unwilling to explain, and simply said, “You’re weird, you know that?”
I shrugged and smiled and batted my eyes at Jax and said, “I’ve been told that it is part of my charm.”
Right then Reggie’s timing put the kibosh on my own sweet greeting when he asked, “You tell him about the Semtex yet?”
After a few high decibel rounds of discussion Jax finally calmed down enough to admit that he would have liked to have been there to see it. “I just hope no innocent is around when the car explodes.”
Reggie and I winced realizing we hadn’t really taken it into consideration. It kinda sucked all the hilarity right out of what we’d done and turned it back into the serious act that it was. More than likely someone was going to die, maybe more than one someone, and we had no real control over who it would be.
Just as bad was that my suspicion was right in that Jax decided that if Delorey was around I wasn’t going to be. From that point forward all of the midnight runs to do the booby trapping was done with me holding the fort at home and Reggie supervising the placement of the devices and traps. Did I want to join in and be a part of it in a physical sense and not just as a cheerleader? Yes. I’d be lying if I said otherwise. Was it very hard for me to keep my mouth shut about what I’d prefer to be doing? Again, yes. And for the most part I kept my attitude wrangled and under control although there were a few times that someone being unkind might have called it a pout. I wasn’t pouting, not really, but I wasn’t used to being left out either and that is how I was feeling.
“Hon …”
I held up my hand, palm outward. “Don’t. I don’t need platitudes and I want them even less.” I then continued brushing my hair out before re-braiding it before going to bed.
“You are really angry about this aren’t you?”
Trying to behave like I thought an adult ought to I told him, “Put yourself in my place and answer your own question.”
He sighed. “I have. And I’m surprised you haven’t made more noise about it. I’m now wondering why?”
Splitting my hair into three sections I started weaving. “Because while it is what I want to do – make no mistake about that – I also realize it isn’t going to get me anywhere. And on top of that I have to be able to do what is best for the team.”
“We’re doing this for your sake Lydie.”
Getting irritated that he just had to discuss this right before we went to bed I nearly snapped, “Well don’t. You say you put yourself in my shoes but I’m beginning to wonder if you really have. Do you know how stupid it makes me feel to not be included? Oh, Lydie can’t because she was a total dip and fell for the wrong guy at the wrong time and now that she’s fallen for the right guy at the right time but maybe it’s not the right time after all because the wrong guy is still trying to use her for some nefarious scheme …”
“Nefarious scheme?” he chuckled.
I nearly threw the box of talcum powder that sat on my mother’s dressing table at him. “Yes. What else should I call it? He doesn’t want my address to send me flowers and candy for Valentine’s Day.”
“Uh …”
“Oh just forget it. I swear, sometimes guys are so clueless. Have you ever once thought that it isn’t that I resent being put in this gilded cage but what it says about what you think of me?”
“Lydie, don’t get …”
“What? Emotional? I wasn’t the one that brought this up. I wasn’t the one that wanted to know why I hadn’t reacted worse than I had. Here’s a clue … because I’m holding onto my temper by a thread!!”
I got up and had decided to throw the talcum powder after all until I saw Kelly’s wide eyed observation and her confusion over my angry shout. I turned to Jax and snapped, “Fix this.”
“Huh?”
“Look at her, now she’s scared of me on top of everything else.” I put my robe on over my flannel PJs and left the room more quietly than I really felt like being. Once I shut the door I realized there was no place for me to go in the house; no place to escape to. Every corner was full … of people and of their things. I went down the stairs as noiselessly as I could, grabbed my jacket, and then stepped out onto the porch and breathed in the almost painfully cold air and shuddered. We could have used some of the summer heat right then but the memory of it was enough to last me for a few moments.
A couple of minutes later Jax stepped out onto the porch and before I could object had me wrapped in a hug from behind. “I know you aren’t going to believe me Lydie but …”
Quietly and sadly I told him, “Just drop it. It doesn’t matter. This is the way it is and I have to live with it. It is up to me to handle it, not everyone else to make it easy on me.”
It was pretty obvious he didn’t know what to say to that or how to make it better. I don’t think he could have done either one – no one could have – regardless of whether he’d been able to find some words or not. After a moment he asked, “Are you mad because Alexis is going?”
“No. Her fate is hers, not mine. I’m angry because I’m not going. But more to the point I’m hurt because of how you all handled it … like I’m incapable of using my commonsense and realizing that I’m a liability and choosing not to go of my own free will.”
He tried to peer at me in the dark but I wouldn’t look at him. “Wait. You mean …?”
“Yeah. I could have made that choice all on my own after reviewing all of the facts. Instead I got bits and pieces while you all decided for me and tried to figure out some way to make it more palatable so that I wouldn’t come unglued.” I stepped away and finally turned and looked at him. “Do you understand what I’m saying? First off you all made the choice for me. Second, you never really told me all that was going on; I had to guess most of it. And third, you automatically assumed that I would react badly rather than giving me credit for having the sense God gave a rock. You don’t know what I would have chosen, you just assumed. I’ve included everyone in everything here at the home place … all of it … even when I knew what would be the most constructive course of action I still included you in the decision making process, gave you input. In return what do I get? Oh, Lydie is too stupid to see how things are. She’s too much of a girl and emotional to make a wise decision. That more than anything is why I feel the way I do. And that more than anything else is why I understand why Matt thinks the way he does. When you don’t have anything else but your smarts to get through this life with, and then people act like you couldn’t rub two brain cells together to make a spark, it is like they’ve taken your value from you.”
He took a step forward but I took two steps away. “Lydie … that’s not … not … You’ve got it all wrong. And you’ve got lots of other stuff … you aren’t just smart.”
“Oh of course not. I have the Home Place here. Which by the way everything here came from one of two places … either it was left to me by my parents or it has been salvaged after you came into my life. I didn’t create any of this on my own … I only took advantage of it. But wait, I don’t really have the Home Place anymore do I? In a real sense it belongs to all of us now. Think about it, could I really kick anyone out? Or would the group come together and wonder if I’ve lost my marbles and overrule me? I’m not saying I didn’t invite this on myself but still … I thought I was doing it because I got something in return … some companionship and respect. That’s all I’ve really asked for. Instead I have to deal with … with …”
My chest was feeling heavy and I absolutely refused to cry over how I felt. I turned away and stared out at the night sky, the stars looking more starry than they should have because of the unshed tears getting in the way of my focus.
Jax sounded upset and hurt when he asked, “Why didn’t you say any of this before now? Why let it go this far?”
Shaking my head I answered, “Because I wanted someone to realize I might be not be so selfish that my feelings were more important than the group’s safety; that I would be smart enough to make the right choice. I wanted to believe that eventually someone would see it even if you were too blinded by your need to protect me. Instead all I get is people walking around me like I’m gonna blow at any second, like I’ll blame them for something that isn’t their fault to begin with. I don’t blame anyone for Matt being who and what he has become. That would be like blaming Alexis and Gennie for what happened to them; it just wouldn’t be fair. Why do you all have to keep blaming me for the fact that I couldn’t see Matt for what he was until it was too late?! Do you have any idea how much it hurts to constantly have people acting like I must be an idiot because I didn’t see him for what he’s become before he became it? Even worse, that somehow or other I might still be vulnerable to being manipulated by him?!”
I couldn’t find where the hurt stopped and the anger began or vice versa. I felt like shaking like a dog, trying to get rid whatever soaked my coat, only this was an emotional coating that I wanted to be shed of. I turned and tried to go down the steps but Jax pulled me back. “It’s too cold. If you can’t stand to have me near you I’ll go but I don’t want you to get sick because I’ve made you upset.”
I turned and thumped him on the chest. “Stop being so nice and reasonable. I … I …”
Then we mutually fell into a tight embrace. It didn’t make things better but it kept me from flying apart so I guess you could say it kept things from getting worse. Into my hair Jax whispered, “I didn’t mean to make you feel like I didn’t respect you Lydie. I can’t speak for anyone else but I’m positive it is the same way for them. I never meant to make you feel this way.”
“Forget it. Just … just forget it. I can’t explain how I feel and shouldn’t expect anyone to understand. Dad always said that expecting something out of other people to the point that you needed it was the first step down a rough row to hoe.”
His sigh was a deep one and I felt it through my own body. “Lydie I respected your dad a lot but I didn’t always agree with him. That saying he had is one of the things I didn’t totally agree with him on. It might work with strangers but you shouldn’t feel that way with family … and especially not with your lover. Do me a favor … if you insist on being that way with other people, please don’t be that way with me. I’ve been expecting things out of you left and right ever since Kelly and I followed you home like a couple of stray mutts; I’ve been expecting them because I needed to and because I wanted to. I don’t like the idea that you don’t feel you can … or should … expect things out of me, or need things from me.”
“Of course I do … but I have to be able to accept when something isn’t there or doesn’t happen. I can’t just fall apart. I … I can’t. There’s too much riding on me being strong and in control.”
Quietly he said, “You wanted me to see what you’re saying I missed; that you’d make the choice not to ask to be included in the raid we are going on tomorrow night.”
“I’m saying regardless of what I would have chosen, and I like to believe that I would have chosen what was best for the group or at least had some input in it, but I was never given the chance because no one thought I had the intelligence not to behave stupidly about something that was this important. You even had to ask why I wasn’t making a scene Jax. Do you have any idea how that felt? That you had to ask why I wasn’t acting like a complete ass?”
After a moment he admitted, “I never thought of it like that.”
I had started to shiver, whether from nerves or the cold I’m still not sure. I pushed away from him and said, “We need to get back to Kelly. Plus you need to rest; tomorrow is going to be a bear.”
“We need to talk this out.”
“No, we don’t. It is what it is. There’s nothing that can be said that will change what happened and how I felt about it; there is nothing that can be said to change your mind on the subject because even after I’ve explained it to you I can see you still felt like you only did what you did with the best of intentions and would do it again.” His slightly guilty look told me I’d guessed correctly. “If I keep talking it is just going to make it seem like I’m heaping coals on your head or whining to try and get my way and that isn’t what I want to do. If you keep talking to try and get me to agree with you I can pretty much guarantee we’re going to wind up sleeping in two different places. Just let it go.”
I turned to go back in the house but when I put my hand on the door knob he pulled me back. “Are … are we OK?
I told him, “Of course we are.”
Doubtfully he said, “It doesn’t feel that way.”
I shrugged. “Well we are on my side.”
“You sure? Because it feels like you are pulling away from me.”
I wasn’t sure I was up for it but I tried to comfort him. “I’m wiped out Jax. This … this hurt … it still hurts and maybe more that I told you and you still don’t quite understand where I’m coming from. But I’m not running away, I’m dealing with it. Give me some credit will you? I’m trying to be a grown up rather than throwing a tantrum. I’m trying not to handle things and manipulate people like Matt would. Life is just too short to repeat other people’s mistakes. Just give me time. Wouldn’t you want that if you were in my boots?”
He started kissing me and I let him. I think he needed it more than me. I also let him lead me inside and up to our room. I let him put me to bed after we put Kelly down for hers. And I let him do everything else we did that night. He seemed to need it. It wasn’t a power thing, by that point I could tell the difference, it seemed that he was trying to comfort me but in reality I think he needed the comfort himself.
I lay awake long after Jax had fallen asleep wishing I hadn’t let any of what I was feeling out. I’d held it in up to then, I should have been able to hold it in until after the guys went to try and assassinate Suicide. I hadn’t wanted the last night I had with Jax to be about make up sex.
“Lydie … are you still awake?” Jax asked sleepily.
“No.”
“Good,” he mumbled and pulled me closer, sharing his body warmth.
I sighed but not audibly. I decided to make the next day as easy on him as I could. I didn’t want him thinking about our head butting. I wanted him focused on his own safety, getting the job done, and then coming home. I suspected that intentionally killing someone was going to weigh on him more than he was willing to admit.
sssarawolf
Has No Life - Lives on TB
Thank you.
We used to drive 300 miles to dh's mom house 3 or 4 times a yr to help do things his brother and sister living in the same town wouldnt do. So glad u can help ur parents.
We used to drive 300 miles to dh's mom house 3 or 4 times a yr to help do things his brother and sister living in the same town wouldnt do. So glad u can help ur parents.
DustMusher
Deceased
Thank you, Kathy for more. No way to tell you how much I am enjoying this story.
DM
DM
223shootersc
Veteran Member
very powerful chapter, thanks
They Just Don’t Make Emperors Like They Used To
Part 5
“I’m thinking that this is your fault,” Alexis said as she washed the blood from her hands after bandaging Johnson up.
“My fault?!” I asked a little on the ragged edge. “Want to explain since I wasn’t even there? No wait. You’re saying that somehow or other it is my fault that Matt is nuts.”
“No … well maybe that but that’s old news.” Before I could belt her like I felt like she continued. “No this has to do with that lunatic Baumgarten getting ticked off because someone blew up some of his soldiers.”
Well, that I could buy, at least up to a certain point. There are always consequences for the choices we make in life and not all of them are of the good variety. However I wasn’t the only one that took part in that particular shenanigan. Before I had to bring that particular fact up Reggie limped into the kitchen and said, “You really get your rocks off on being a complaining pain in the butt don’t you.”
I knew he wasn’t talking to me and so did Alexis. She turned around and hissed like a rabid cat. I wasn’t going to let him draw her fire when he was as banged up as the rest of the guys were. “Enough.” My tone must have surprised them both because they actually stopped. “It happened. We didn’t mean for it to turn into what it did but that’s the way it rolled. I’m not justifying what we did but from where I’m standing and from what I heard the scorching of our side started well before Delorey’s crew even showed up. Face it, Matt had figured out what was going down and played us.”
Aiden and Jules limped in and said, “Janice said you said that after listening to the radio. How can you be sure?”
Jax and Johnson stumbled into the room, both looking like they’d been drug behind a pick up – over cactus no less – and after falling into chairs Johnson said in a distrustful tone, “Yeah. Wanna explain that one Lydie? Did you suspect it before we went out?”
Offended at his insinuation I snapped, “Of course I didn’t suspect it beforehand. You have any idea how far I would have gone to stop everyone if I had suspected something and you didn’t listen to me and call things off?!”
Jax sighed. “At what point did you suspect it?”
Worried at the exhaustion in his voice I answered, “I got a niggling worry when I heard their patrols say that they’d spotted you but they didn’t have any change of tone in their voice, they didn’t panic or seem upset.”
Jax nodded. “That made Vern uncomfortable too but we were already too far into the plan to pull back on just a suspicion. It was the best shot we were going to have. Lon mentioned being surprised that the booby traps hadn’t been found with as much traffic as there appeared to be in the area.”
Alexis was leaning hard against the wall and trying to get Gennie to leave her alone. “I’m fine. Knock it off will you?”
She wasn’t fine. She’d fought as hard as the guys had and while she wasn’t as beat up she was still shook up. I took a ladder back chair, moved it close to her and said quietly, “Sit before you fall down please. And have another cup of this cocoa, you need the hot and sweet.”
Surprisingly enough she gave in without a single snarky comment and I was able to continue on with my explanation. “I know it sounds crazy but in a way we’re all lucky that Delorey showed up when he did. I’m just not convinced that wasn’t planned as well. Reggie?”
He gave it a moment of thought and then said, “Now that you point it out it feels like Matt.”
Gennie asked, “What do you mean it feels like Matt? I don’t get it.”
Ginger, Ashley, Aston, Reggie and I said the same word at the same time. “Maestro.”
“Huh?”
I explained, “Maestro is Matt’s alter ego … from gaming … you know RPG games. Role playing games.” As she and Alexis and a few of the others nodded their understanding I said, “Maestro was an avatar, a gamer identity, that Matt spent years developing. He used it over and over regardless of what game he was playing. It didn’t matter what skin his identity had on, underneath he was the same … skill level, strategic capability, you name it. One of his favorite tactics was playing one side against another; he was even willing to sacrifice his own teammates and other players so long as in the end he was the winner. It got to the point that a lot of people wouldn’t play with him … they’d play against him but not necessarily with him if you know what I mean.”
Johnson said, “You mean people got tired of being used but there were some that still wanted to knock him down a few pegs.”
I nodded, “Pretty much.”
Gennie looked at me, disgusted, and asked, “How could you be with a guy like that?”
I felt Jax tense though he didn’t say anything. Maybe he still wondered about that himself. “Because to me gaming was just that … a game. I didn’t look at it as some huge judgment on his character. I … I guess I took it that Matt needed some kind of outlet for his intellect and wasn’t going to razz him over being the best. He didn’t get a lot of respect at home, at least as far as I knew; his dad had all these plans for him, these expectations, and I thought gaming was just the place Matt went to blow off steam. I had no idea that he might be using it to … to … well, to perfect certain techniques on manipulating people. How the heck was I supposed to know that the world would come crashing down and he’d really start thinking he was the character he created when we were little kids.”
Trying to explain I told them, “I know everyone hates his guts but Matt wasn’t always like he is right now.” There was some noises of disbelief, even from the people that had known him almost as long as I had, if not as well. “Wait, hear me out. I’ll admit that he obviously had the capacity to become what he is now but when he and I were close he really wasn’t there yet. Maybe it is because his dad disappeared; the one real control in his life going missing with no explanation. Maybe … maybe it was removing all of the social norms and boundaries that let his natural inclinations to get out of control. I don’t know for sure. What I do know is that Matt … the Matt I knew … wasn’t always like he is today.”
I wasn’t sure whether Alexis was trying to be nasty or just honestly trying to understand when she asked, “What about Marty? It seems all of your friends knew that there was something going on there but you were clueless about it. If you missed that, isn’t it possible you missed other stuff?”
I blanched. “I don’t know what to think about that. Maybe I took them both for granted and things just sort of happened between them by accident, at least in the beginning. I got pretty wrapped up in my own personal problems.”
“What personal problems could Wonder Girl have? Did you folks refuse to buy you that iToy you wanted?”
I looked at her like she was crazy. “You’re kidding right? No one mentioned …?” I looked around at the others in the room and saw they were looking at each other. “Geez Louise!” I snapped suddenly angry way beyond what I should have been. “I try and explain things about you guys so no one gets the wrong idea and so that others can understand what you are going through and you can’t give me the same courtesy?! Thanks a lot.”
I stomped off slapping Jax’s hand away as he tried to grab me as I went by. I was getting tired of that bad habit. When I wanted to go I didn’t want to be grabbed at. About fifteen minutes later Alexis found me in the animal barn brushing King Kong out. “You gonna sulk out here the rest of the night?”
In slightly better control of myself I said, “Maybe.”
“Why didn’t you ever say anything about how your family died?”
“Because I don’t want to start a bad habit that would be hard to break. I don’t need or want people feeling sorry for me. When I could have used it the only ones that really gave a crap were Matt and Marty … or at least I thought they were there for me. Now I don’t know what to think so it is easier just to keep it to myself until I have it figured out.”
Sliding down into a bench Alexis said, “Sounds like it was a hell of a shock when you came to town and found out.”
“Yeah, but I recovered. I don’t need you or anyone else to pat me on the back. I did what I had to do. Don’t go changing your opinion of me just because you missed a few details along the way. I could give a rat’s behind.”
She was silent for a moment and I was able to ignore her but then she said, “When I was ten my mother and I came in from the grocery store and found my dad in bed with the girl that had been my babysitter ever since I was a baby. She was the daughter of one of my mother’s friends. It was a mess. Mom never made a scene after that first day. She did all the right things, tried to fix the marriage through counseling and when he wouldn’t cooperate she let him have his divorce and then when he didn’t pay child support she let it go for over a year before she took him to court and only then because me and my sister needed clothes and stuff and her income barely covered keeping a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. She didn’t even make waves when all of her friends started abandoning her and wondering out loud why she hadn’t seen what was happening under her very nose … that there was no way that they would have missed the signs. The only time I ever saw her cry was when she found out that the girl had had a baby boy and had gotten thrown out of the house by her family. Mom went and got the girl and she came to live with us. The girl couldn’t handle it all and left … but not before she let Mom adopt the little boy … my baby brother. I never understood how she could do it. God I tried but I just never could. It isn’t in me to be a martyr like that. I hate my ol’ man for what he did, I could care less if he is alive or dead. I always thought Momma was weak. Now you make me see maybe I had the wrong idea … but I still don’t understand it.”
I shrugged, still not really looking at her. “Your mom sounds like a saint. I probably would have left permanent dents in your dad’s head with whatever was at hand that day if it had been me.”
Alexis chuckled, “Yeah … Mom did too … it was how she acted after that day that I didn’t get. Same with you. Everyone is always expecting you to get angry but you never do. You smart off but you never blow up.”
I tossed the brush I had been using and picked up the dander comb. “Dad always warned me that giving people what they expect all the time could lead to boredom on both sides.”
She snorted, “See what I mean? You’re doing it again. Why don’t you get mad?”
I sighed. “Because when I get mad and let it out as much as I could I can get very, very nasty. The kind of nasty that can hurt people Alexis … not just with words but I know how to do things.” I shifted King Kong in my lap so I could reach a nappy area that had developed in his fur. “Everyone thinks that Reggie and I consider the booby traps a game … like RPG turned real life. They think it is kind of a fantasy come true for us. Well I can’t say with Reggie, it’s his business, but for me I know what I’m doing. I’m good at it. My brain naturally wants to go that direction … the direction that says I don’t know how to play well with others.”
Trying to explain I told her, “When I was little and we found out how sick my brother was – they told you about that right? Well when we first found out I got so angry. Unbelievably angry. I literally plotted the punishment of the people that I thought had made my brother sick and the people that weren’t – or in my mind it was wouldn’t – help make him better. I’m not talking about just vague threats; I mean I literally planned it out in detail. Dad found some of my drawings and … and he explained that anger has its place but he also warned me about how destructive a force it could be, for others and for myself. Dad could have a really nasty temper too but he directed his more into stubbornness and self-sufficiency … he couldn’t stand to be manipulated. Maybe that is what he saw in Matt and what he hoped I would outgrow. I don’t know. What I do know is that he taught me to be very careful about getting angry because I was smart enough to do something really stupid that I would regret, maybe for the rest of my life. I saw that same potential for anger and violence in Matt … it made us comrades of sorts. He had his reasons and I had mine but it was the same seed buried in both of us. I think I was better at hiding it and channeling it than Matt was … maybe I still am. Matt could still lose it on occasion and he couldn’t be bothered to get along with very many people. If they bothered him or bored him he ignored them, almost literally they stopped existing for him. I didn’t have to go that far … or maybe I chose not to. Instead I’d take that energy and spend it on something else. The Home Place used up a lot of my energy and still does. The projects Dad and I were always up to helped me to stay constructively focused back then.” I shrugged. “After I found out about Matt and Marty? I was so busy trying to adjust my plans and goals for the future so that I could prove that I could survive without them that I didn’t have a lot of energy to waste plotting revenge or anything like that. There’s an old saying about when you go to take revenge, dig two graves. I didn’t want to be a victim again … I didn’t want revenge enough to dig that second grave.”
Quietly Alexis asked, “Where does Jax and his kid fit into the story?”
That was an easy one. “They saved my sanity. I hadn’t wanted to admit how lonely I was all by myself. It had been coming on for a long time, since my family was murdered. If Jax hadn’t insisted and talked me around … if I hadn’t felt I could trust him and then come to respect him … I honestly don’t know what state I would be in right now.” I put King Kong back in his cage and watched him rearrange his fur to his own liking before flipping me the fluffy tail and shimmying into his hole in the hay he had dug out. “All of you are part of the reason why I’m able to hold on day to day. You give me a reason to get up in the morning and not plot out some demented war. I’m sad about losing Marty. I’m sad about losing Matt and how he turned out. But I’m also angry … I just have to control that anger. Maybe more than other people do. Because when I get angry I tend to make unnecessary messes that impact other people adversely. We got enough trouble on our plates right now, I don’t need to do something to make it worse … to make it less likely that we’ll be able to survive until the spring planting and beyond.”
“So you were against this attack on Matt and Suicide?”
I shook my head. “No. I understand that part. I just didn’t like how it was being pulled off.”
“So you could have done a better job,” she said like she was still deciding whether to go back to her original opinion of me.
“I don’t know what I could have done. I wasn’t given access to the facts as they came in. I was kept in the dark until I guessed things here and there. I know it is because people thought they were protecting me or keeping me from acting stupid but good intentions or not, it was a mistake. And it is too late for what might have beens.” As I adjusted the damper on the heat so that the animals wouldn’t suffer from the freezing temperatures I added, “We’ll never have the element of surprise again. We don’t even know who won.”
A voice from the door way startled us. “Well, we know that Suicide is dead.”
Alexis stood up, almost too fast judging by how she swayed. “Cal! You’re old man is lucky I didn’t blow your head off.”
Just as irritably I asked, “What are you doing here Cal? And what do you mean that Suicide is dead?”
Holding his hands up in surrender he mouthed off, “Geez, don’t get your panties in a knot. I just thought I’d share the info since you were wondering.”
I stood up and walked towards Cal menacingly. “Do … no … play … games … with … me. Not on my turf and not under these circumstances.”
Cal stepped back suddenly realizing that he’d seriously stepped in it. “They … uh … they’re up at the house. I gotta get back before Dad wonders where I am.”
I looked at Alexis. “You need help getting back to the house?”
“Nah. But you might want to ease up on Cal. He looked like he was going to need to look for a pair of clean boxers.”
I wasn’t in the mood to kid. “Then he should use more sense and realize who he is baiting.”
I left her with that thought and went back towards the house. I knew Alexis wouldn’t be far behind me but I wasn’t in the mood to wait if she felt she didn’t need any help. Jax was just stepping out of the back door when he saw me.
“Lydie, Lon and Vern are here.”
I told him, “I guessed at least one of them was here given Cal’s presence. What’s up?”
His face was very serious. “Suicide is dead.”
“So Cal hinted at. But did they actually see him dead or was he just getting messed up?”
Vernon stuck his head out of the door and I saw that someone had fixed him a mug of something that steamed. He appeared to nod in approval at my question. “Blood loss or infection will eventually take him out without major medical attention and from what I saw with my own eyes that will be withheld. Delorey had him strung up and buck naked and was skinning him one tat at a time. Don’t even ask me to explain what he’d already done to all his piercings and other body art.”
Vernon had moved back home and knew Delorey Baumgarten’s back story and reputation. No one would have to explain to him how serious things were.
I blanked that part of my brain that wanted to shriek and run away. Instead I walked up the porch steps and said, “We got problems.”
Part 5
“I’m thinking that this is your fault,” Alexis said as she washed the blood from her hands after bandaging Johnson up.
“My fault?!” I asked a little on the ragged edge. “Want to explain since I wasn’t even there? No wait. You’re saying that somehow or other it is my fault that Matt is nuts.”
“No … well maybe that but that’s old news.” Before I could belt her like I felt like she continued. “No this has to do with that lunatic Baumgarten getting ticked off because someone blew up some of his soldiers.”
Well, that I could buy, at least up to a certain point. There are always consequences for the choices we make in life and not all of them are of the good variety. However I wasn’t the only one that took part in that particular shenanigan. Before I had to bring that particular fact up Reggie limped into the kitchen and said, “You really get your rocks off on being a complaining pain in the butt don’t you.”
I knew he wasn’t talking to me and so did Alexis. She turned around and hissed like a rabid cat. I wasn’t going to let him draw her fire when he was as banged up as the rest of the guys were. “Enough.” My tone must have surprised them both because they actually stopped. “It happened. We didn’t mean for it to turn into what it did but that’s the way it rolled. I’m not justifying what we did but from where I’m standing and from what I heard the scorching of our side started well before Delorey’s crew even showed up. Face it, Matt had figured out what was going down and played us.”
Aiden and Jules limped in and said, “Janice said you said that after listening to the radio. How can you be sure?”
Jax and Johnson stumbled into the room, both looking like they’d been drug behind a pick up – over cactus no less – and after falling into chairs Johnson said in a distrustful tone, “Yeah. Wanna explain that one Lydie? Did you suspect it before we went out?”
Offended at his insinuation I snapped, “Of course I didn’t suspect it beforehand. You have any idea how far I would have gone to stop everyone if I had suspected something and you didn’t listen to me and call things off?!”
Jax sighed. “At what point did you suspect it?”
Worried at the exhaustion in his voice I answered, “I got a niggling worry when I heard their patrols say that they’d spotted you but they didn’t have any change of tone in their voice, they didn’t panic or seem upset.”
Jax nodded. “That made Vern uncomfortable too but we were already too far into the plan to pull back on just a suspicion. It was the best shot we were going to have. Lon mentioned being surprised that the booby traps hadn’t been found with as much traffic as there appeared to be in the area.”
Alexis was leaning hard against the wall and trying to get Gennie to leave her alone. “I’m fine. Knock it off will you?”
She wasn’t fine. She’d fought as hard as the guys had and while she wasn’t as beat up she was still shook up. I took a ladder back chair, moved it close to her and said quietly, “Sit before you fall down please. And have another cup of this cocoa, you need the hot and sweet.”
Surprisingly enough she gave in without a single snarky comment and I was able to continue on with my explanation. “I know it sounds crazy but in a way we’re all lucky that Delorey showed up when he did. I’m just not convinced that wasn’t planned as well. Reggie?”
He gave it a moment of thought and then said, “Now that you point it out it feels like Matt.”
Gennie asked, “What do you mean it feels like Matt? I don’t get it.”
Ginger, Ashley, Aston, Reggie and I said the same word at the same time. “Maestro.”
“Huh?”
I explained, “Maestro is Matt’s alter ego … from gaming … you know RPG games. Role playing games.” As she and Alexis and a few of the others nodded their understanding I said, “Maestro was an avatar, a gamer identity, that Matt spent years developing. He used it over and over regardless of what game he was playing. It didn’t matter what skin his identity had on, underneath he was the same … skill level, strategic capability, you name it. One of his favorite tactics was playing one side against another; he was even willing to sacrifice his own teammates and other players so long as in the end he was the winner. It got to the point that a lot of people wouldn’t play with him … they’d play against him but not necessarily with him if you know what I mean.”
Johnson said, “You mean people got tired of being used but there were some that still wanted to knock him down a few pegs.”
I nodded, “Pretty much.”
Gennie looked at me, disgusted, and asked, “How could you be with a guy like that?”
I felt Jax tense though he didn’t say anything. Maybe he still wondered about that himself. “Because to me gaming was just that … a game. I didn’t look at it as some huge judgment on his character. I … I guess I took it that Matt needed some kind of outlet for his intellect and wasn’t going to razz him over being the best. He didn’t get a lot of respect at home, at least as far as I knew; his dad had all these plans for him, these expectations, and I thought gaming was just the place Matt went to blow off steam. I had no idea that he might be using it to … to … well, to perfect certain techniques on manipulating people. How the heck was I supposed to know that the world would come crashing down and he’d really start thinking he was the character he created when we were little kids.”
Trying to explain I told them, “I know everyone hates his guts but Matt wasn’t always like he is right now.” There was some noises of disbelief, even from the people that had known him almost as long as I had, if not as well. “Wait, hear me out. I’ll admit that he obviously had the capacity to become what he is now but when he and I were close he really wasn’t there yet. Maybe it is because his dad disappeared; the one real control in his life going missing with no explanation. Maybe … maybe it was removing all of the social norms and boundaries that let his natural inclinations to get out of control. I don’t know for sure. What I do know is that Matt … the Matt I knew … wasn’t always like he is today.”
I wasn’t sure whether Alexis was trying to be nasty or just honestly trying to understand when she asked, “What about Marty? It seems all of your friends knew that there was something going on there but you were clueless about it. If you missed that, isn’t it possible you missed other stuff?”
I blanched. “I don’t know what to think about that. Maybe I took them both for granted and things just sort of happened between them by accident, at least in the beginning. I got pretty wrapped up in my own personal problems.”
“What personal problems could Wonder Girl have? Did you folks refuse to buy you that iToy you wanted?”
I looked at her like she was crazy. “You’re kidding right? No one mentioned …?” I looked around at the others in the room and saw they were looking at each other. “Geez Louise!” I snapped suddenly angry way beyond what I should have been. “I try and explain things about you guys so no one gets the wrong idea and so that others can understand what you are going through and you can’t give me the same courtesy?! Thanks a lot.”
I stomped off slapping Jax’s hand away as he tried to grab me as I went by. I was getting tired of that bad habit. When I wanted to go I didn’t want to be grabbed at. About fifteen minutes later Alexis found me in the animal barn brushing King Kong out. “You gonna sulk out here the rest of the night?”
In slightly better control of myself I said, “Maybe.”
“Why didn’t you ever say anything about how your family died?”
“Because I don’t want to start a bad habit that would be hard to break. I don’t need or want people feeling sorry for me. When I could have used it the only ones that really gave a crap were Matt and Marty … or at least I thought they were there for me. Now I don’t know what to think so it is easier just to keep it to myself until I have it figured out.”
Sliding down into a bench Alexis said, “Sounds like it was a hell of a shock when you came to town and found out.”
“Yeah, but I recovered. I don’t need you or anyone else to pat me on the back. I did what I had to do. Don’t go changing your opinion of me just because you missed a few details along the way. I could give a rat’s behind.”
She was silent for a moment and I was able to ignore her but then she said, “When I was ten my mother and I came in from the grocery store and found my dad in bed with the girl that had been my babysitter ever since I was a baby. She was the daughter of one of my mother’s friends. It was a mess. Mom never made a scene after that first day. She did all the right things, tried to fix the marriage through counseling and when he wouldn’t cooperate she let him have his divorce and then when he didn’t pay child support she let it go for over a year before she took him to court and only then because me and my sister needed clothes and stuff and her income barely covered keeping a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. She didn’t even make waves when all of her friends started abandoning her and wondering out loud why she hadn’t seen what was happening under her very nose … that there was no way that they would have missed the signs. The only time I ever saw her cry was when she found out that the girl had had a baby boy and had gotten thrown out of the house by her family. Mom went and got the girl and she came to live with us. The girl couldn’t handle it all and left … but not before she let Mom adopt the little boy … my baby brother. I never understood how she could do it. God I tried but I just never could. It isn’t in me to be a martyr like that. I hate my ol’ man for what he did, I could care less if he is alive or dead. I always thought Momma was weak. Now you make me see maybe I had the wrong idea … but I still don’t understand it.”
I shrugged, still not really looking at her. “Your mom sounds like a saint. I probably would have left permanent dents in your dad’s head with whatever was at hand that day if it had been me.”
Alexis chuckled, “Yeah … Mom did too … it was how she acted after that day that I didn’t get. Same with you. Everyone is always expecting you to get angry but you never do. You smart off but you never blow up.”
I tossed the brush I had been using and picked up the dander comb. “Dad always warned me that giving people what they expect all the time could lead to boredom on both sides.”
She snorted, “See what I mean? You’re doing it again. Why don’t you get mad?”
I sighed. “Because when I get mad and let it out as much as I could I can get very, very nasty. The kind of nasty that can hurt people Alexis … not just with words but I know how to do things.” I shifted King Kong in my lap so I could reach a nappy area that had developed in his fur. “Everyone thinks that Reggie and I consider the booby traps a game … like RPG turned real life. They think it is kind of a fantasy come true for us. Well I can’t say with Reggie, it’s his business, but for me I know what I’m doing. I’m good at it. My brain naturally wants to go that direction … the direction that says I don’t know how to play well with others.”
Trying to explain I told her, “When I was little and we found out how sick my brother was – they told you about that right? Well when we first found out I got so angry. Unbelievably angry. I literally plotted the punishment of the people that I thought had made my brother sick and the people that weren’t – or in my mind it was wouldn’t – help make him better. I’m not talking about just vague threats; I mean I literally planned it out in detail. Dad found some of my drawings and … and he explained that anger has its place but he also warned me about how destructive a force it could be, for others and for myself. Dad could have a really nasty temper too but he directed his more into stubbornness and self-sufficiency … he couldn’t stand to be manipulated. Maybe that is what he saw in Matt and what he hoped I would outgrow. I don’t know. What I do know is that he taught me to be very careful about getting angry because I was smart enough to do something really stupid that I would regret, maybe for the rest of my life. I saw that same potential for anger and violence in Matt … it made us comrades of sorts. He had his reasons and I had mine but it was the same seed buried in both of us. I think I was better at hiding it and channeling it than Matt was … maybe I still am. Matt could still lose it on occasion and he couldn’t be bothered to get along with very many people. If they bothered him or bored him he ignored them, almost literally they stopped existing for him. I didn’t have to go that far … or maybe I chose not to. Instead I’d take that energy and spend it on something else. The Home Place used up a lot of my energy and still does. The projects Dad and I were always up to helped me to stay constructively focused back then.” I shrugged. “After I found out about Matt and Marty? I was so busy trying to adjust my plans and goals for the future so that I could prove that I could survive without them that I didn’t have a lot of energy to waste plotting revenge or anything like that. There’s an old saying about when you go to take revenge, dig two graves. I didn’t want to be a victim again … I didn’t want revenge enough to dig that second grave.”
Quietly Alexis asked, “Where does Jax and his kid fit into the story?”
That was an easy one. “They saved my sanity. I hadn’t wanted to admit how lonely I was all by myself. It had been coming on for a long time, since my family was murdered. If Jax hadn’t insisted and talked me around … if I hadn’t felt I could trust him and then come to respect him … I honestly don’t know what state I would be in right now.” I put King Kong back in his cage and watched him rearrange his fur to his own liking before flipping me the fluffy tail and shimmying into his hole in the hay he had dug out. “All of you are part of the reason why I’m able to hold on day to day. You give me a reason to get up in the morning and not plot out some demented war. I’m sad about losing Marty. I’m sad about losing Matt and how he turned out. But I’m also angry … I just have to control that anger. Maybe more than other people do. Because when I get angry I tend to make unnecessary messes that impact other people adversely. We got enough trouble on our plates right now, I don’t need to do something to make it worse … to make it less likely that we’ll be able to survive until the spring planting and beyond.”
“So you were against this attack on Matt and Suicide?”
I shook my head. “No. I understand that part. I just didn’t like how it was being pulled off.”
“So you could have done a better job,” she said like she was still deciding whether to go back to her original opinion of me.
“I don’t know what I could have done. I wasn’t given access to the facts as they came in. I was kept in the dark until I guessed things here and there. I know it is because people thought they were protecting me or keeping me from acting stupid but good intentions or not, it was a mistake. And it is too late for what might have beens.” As I adjusted the damper on the heat so that the animals wouldn’t suffer from the freezing temperatures I added, “We’ll never have the element of surprise again. We don’t even know who won.”
A voice from the door way startled us. “Well, we know that Suicide is dead.”
Alexis stood up, almost too fast judging by how she swayed. “Cal! You’re old man is lucky I didn’t blow your head off.”
Just as irritably I asked, “What are you doing here Cal? And what do you mean that Suicide is dead?”
Holding his hands up in surrender he mouthed off, “Geez, don’t get your panties in a knot. I just thought I’d share the info since you were wondering.”
I stood up and walked towards Cal menacingly. “Do … no … play … games … with … me. Not on my turf and not under these circumstances.”
Cal stepped back suddenly realizing that he’d seriously stepped in it. “They … uh … they’re up at the house. I gotta get back before Dad wonders where I am.”
I looked at Alexis. “You need help getting back to the house?”
“Nah. But you might want to ease up on Cal. He looked like he was going to need to look for a pair of clean boxers.”
I wasn’t in the mood to kid. “Then he should use more sense and realize who he is baiting.”
I left her with that thought and went back towards the house. I knew Alexis wouldn’t be far behind me but I wasn’t in the mood to wait if she felt she didn’t need any help. Jax was just stepping out of the back door when he saw me.
“Lydie, Lon and Vern are here.”
I told him, “I guessed at least one of them was here given Cal’s presence. What’s up?”
His face was very serious. “Suicide is dead.”
“So Cal hinted at. But did they actually see him dead or was he just getting messed up?”
Vernon stuck his head out of the door and I saw that someone had fixed him a mug of something that steamed. He appeared to nod in approval at my question. “Blood loss or infection will eventually take him out without major medical attention and from what I saw with my own eyes that will be withheld. Delorey had him strung up and buck naked and was skinning him one tat at a time. Don’t even ask me to explain what he’d already done to all his piercings and other body art.”
Vernon had moved back home and knew Delorey Baumgarten’s back story and reputation. No one would have to explain to him how serious things were.
I blanked that part of my brain that wanted to shriek and run away. Instead I walked up the porch steps and said, “We got problems.”
2ndEviltwin
Inactive
lydie and him didn't like each other and their paths have crossed before. Lets just hope he has a quick painful ending at the hands of a long range bullet. 
juco
Veteran Member
Oh, jeepers. I'll bet you're right.
The Empire Strikes Back
Part 1
“Is that all you got to say girl?”
I shrugged, “What else do you want me to say? If you are waiting for me to apologize for sticking that bomb on the Charger you’ll be waiting for a long while.”
I moved into the seriously crowded kitchen and looked around. In addition to Cal and Vernon, Lon was there as was Junior. I had to slow down as people shifted to make room for another body in the limited free space. I was heading for the stairs but Jax got in front of me and instead of making it easy on me he pulled a chair out like he was being a gentleman. I gave him a look that let him know I didn’t like being herded like a cow but he kept his face carefully blank and said, “Take a look at what is in that box Lydie.”
Not having much choice unless I was willing to make a scene I sat at the table and grabbed a box that Reggie pushed my way. Looking inside all I could say was, “Well isn’t this special. I wouldn’t have minded some flowers and candy but this is a little above and beyond don’t you think?”
I looked at Lon and Vernon who were both now inside and having Ginger refill their mugs. I smelled poultry seasoning and realized she had fixed them broth. “Where did you find this?” I asked them with a little less sass in my voice.
“One of the boys on guard duty at the farm shot it down while we were battling down by the river,” Vernon answered. “It’s the primary reason why we’re here instead of home in the arms of our women where we belong.”
I clinched my teeth against a comment concerning male chauvinism and then said, “So?”
“So I want to know if Matt is capable of making a contraption like that or if it is someone else eyeballing us.”
Before answering him I asked, “Why didn’t you call us on the radio instead of coming all this way?”
“’Cause I’m no longer sure that we can trust that our transmissions aren’t being monitored. And that’s another problem to come to terms with.”
I shrugged. “Telefax or Radiofax … you know, like they used to use in air traffic control towers back in the old days … the stuff you see in movies about World War 2 and the Korean and Vietnam Conflicts.”
The room got silent and then Vernon asked in clipped and irritated tones, “You can do that? Why haven’t you brought this up sooner?”
I clucked my tongue and told him, “Don’t get bent. It isn’t rocket science you know. If they were able to pull that sort of stuff off starting back in the 1920s when it was invented I don’t see why we can’t come up with something similar to it today. We can use radio waves instead of phone lines or other types of cable since we already have the set up on both ends. We keep it simple enough we could probably have something up and running within the week and unless someone else has the transmission wavelength and the right kind of receiving device they won’t really be able to capture what we were doing. I’d still use code just to be sure but …” I ended on another shrug. “As to why … if I had suspected we would need something like that I would have probably thought of it sooner. But garbage in garbage out. I can’t plan correctly if I don’t have all the data in a timely manner.”
Vernon and Lon looked at each other then at Jax who cocked an eyebrow at them. I looked at the three of them and just shook my head. “Am I supposed to interpret that bit of sign language or do you want something from me or what?”
Ignoring my question Vernon asked, “So do you think that Matt is capable of this?”
I answered, “Of course he is capable of it. Several people sitting around this table are capable of it including me, Reggie, you, Jax, and Lon for starters. However if you are asking is this for sure Matt’s handy work … ? I don’t know, did you look for a signature?” At their silence I started looking at the remains of the apparent drone in front of me. I hate when people like to test me like I’m some kind of trained monkey that they really don’t believe can use sign language. “This doesn’t look military, not sophisticated enough, and the two of you would have known that so why are you quizzing me on it? To be honest it looks more like something slapped together from spare parts from a hobby shop … and there were a couple of those in town at one point. So yeah, this could be Matt’s work … but Delorey could just as easily have someone working for him that knows the ropes as well. Some of those guys in the drug trade have military training … again something the two of you, with your experience, would know. It wouldn’t take much imagination for someone to replicate what had been used against them at some point.”
“So you can’t say for sure that this isn’t Matt’s work?”
“No more than I can say for sure that it is.” Looking at everyone looking at me I rolled my eyes. “Next question I guess is do I think that Matt is working for or against Delorey.”
“Yeah,” Lon admitted. “That’s the next question.”
“Why ask me this now?” I asked to no one in particular. Not getting an answer I told them, “Well, if he is working against Delorey I doubt it is being done openly. Delorey is mean, nasty, but worst of all for Matt’s purposes, he’s unpredictable. Matt wouldn’t like that – not that anyone would – and would have a hard time manipulating him because of it. Like I mentioned to everyone else, it’s possible that somehow or other Matt decided to use Delorey’s anger over the blow up and take Suicide out if for some reason Suicide was getting in Matt’s way. We still don’t know what his immediate, or even ultimate, goal is.”
Cal said, “But Jax said that you said Matt wants some kind of tech … uh … tech-no-u-topia … or something like that.”
“Maybe,” I agreed. “But that was just a guess on my part. I don’t have a direct line to Matt’s psyche no matter what any of you seem to think. I’m really not sure I know what is motivating him these days. I can guess – probably get closer to the truth than most people – but that doesn’t mean my guesses are automatically correct.”
Vernon asked, “But you suspect that Matt saw us coming at the very least.”
“Same as you did once you got out there in the middle of it.”
Then he asked, “You have any idea how he figured it out?”
I shook my head. “For pete sake, how am I supposed to know?” When they kept looking at me expectantly I just shrugged and told them, “It could have been any one of a handful of different ways. I’m sure you’ve got suspicions of your own. My best guess though would be by accident … he may still have taken credit for it but that doesn’t mean it didn’t start out just by plain ol’ accident. Maybe someone left a booby exposed or some equipment behind or one of their patrols spotted one of us … one of these drones could have seen us since we weren’t looking for them. Maybe Delorey had someone watching and we didn’t realize it … just any number of things. But Matt wouldn’t need but a few pieces of information to create a set of possible defenses. I don’t even know exactly what happened yet.”
Lon growled, “Jax can give you the details later. Basically we walked into an ambush. Luckily Suicide’s people weren’t expecting us to be able to throw as much firepower back at them as we did and hadn’t found all of the boobies.”
“Matt wouldn’t care about that.”
“Huh?”
“Matt wouldn’t care if he lost soldiers to the booby traps so long as his plan continued to move forward.” I stopped and gave it some serious thought and then turned to Reggie. “Reg, you’ve played against him enough to have a feel for him. What do you think? Was it a serious attack or … or maybe just a diversion … possibly to keep Suicide occupied until Delorey could get in place?”
Reggie had already picked up on what I was asking before I was half way through. “That’s a real possibility.”
“Jax?”
“Hum?” he answered like he hadn’t expected me to include him.
“Did you notice anything unusual about the fighting?”
“Unusual how?”
“You know where we laid the boobies. Did it look like the teams were supposed to avoid that area or were they trying to keep people away from some other area? Did you run into any teams that were trying to … I don’t know … box you in or turn you away or towards something?”
All of the guys started thinking about it at that point, trying to step back and see the big picture of how the battle had flowed. Jax answered first with, “They either didn’t know about the boobies on the embankments of the hill or didn’t care. Some of the ones we had set closer to town caught them off guard but not enough to stop and make them think. I can say they didn’t want us going near the waterfront but that’s probably because they’re using that area for their energy production.”
“Maybe, maybe not. How did Delorey get involved? Was he already in town? If not how did he get there? What …?”
Junior interrupted before I could continue. “Wasn’t by boat if that’s what you’re wondering; the river was iced over. But I don’t think he was there when the fighting started either. My team was closest to getting Suicide when I saw him start to freak when Delorey showed up. You’d figure Suicide would have known if Delorey was in town.”
“Maybe … probably … unless Matt was keeping it quiet,” Johnson added.
I held up my hand for a momentary pause. “We’re making a huge assumption here that it is Matt that is running the show. Even if we take Delorey out of the picture you know it is possible that Matt isn’t the one calling the shots.”
Jules snapped, “Are you honestly still defending that guy?”
My hackles snapped to attention and I belted back at him, “No. And I never defended him to begin with. I’m trying to use logic which is more than you are doing. I’m sorry about your girlfriend but you need to back off me and get your head out of your backside over this. More than likely Matt is certifiable but that doesn’t mean he’s boss hog at the feeding trough. We need to consider all possibilities before we act like idiots over nothing.”
Jules made to jump at me. Johnson and Aston grabbed him in surprised alarm. Jax and Reggie stepped in front of me. And Vernon and Lon shot up but let us sort it out ourselves.
I pushed Reggie to the side because Jax wasn’t budging. “Jules, don’t mess with me. I’ve about had my fill of people acting like they can talk to me anyway they want with impunity. It is not my fault that Matt has turned out like he has. It is not my fault that none of you that were left in town saw it until it was too late and you’ve suffered badly because of that. It is not my fault your girlfriend hurt you. I’m not sure that is particularly Matt’s fault either, but a choice she apparently made willingly. She’s responsible for that, not me and not anyone else. I understand how bad it has to hurt that she turned on you but she is the one that did you wrong. Stop letting it rule your life and your commonsense.”
Aiden who had come into the kitchen, aided by Janice whom he was leaning on fairly heavily said, “Jules … I hate to say it but she’s right. You’re trying to make other people pay for what she did to you, trying to make it someone else’s fault. Ain’t happening Cuz. She isn’t coming back.”
Jules snarled, “I don’t want her back.”
“Good,” I told him. “I think you deserve better. She had no right to do you like that. If she wanted out she could have ended it a heck of a lot better than she did.” He started to say something but then just looked at me like he wasn’t sure he’d heard what I’d said. Giving him a hard look I asked, “How do you think I felt about what Matt and Marty did to me? Think on it. And also wonder how I felt when it seemed that all my friends turned on me at the same time, favoring Matt and Marty’s side over mine.” He just sort of blinked like that wasn’t anything that had ever occurred to him. Feeling I’d made my point I said, “Now let’s everyone sit down and get back to business before Lon and Vernon start wondering if we are all just a bunch of hormonal, angst-ridden teenagers.”
Jax sighed and looked to the heavens for patience. The imp in me wanted to tell him to be careful what you prayed for as God had a way of answering when you least expected it … and usually in the form of lessons that forced you to acquire the skills you were expecting free of charge. Praying for patience seemed to be one of the more dangerous types of prayers a person could make. But I managed to keep my mouth shut because God also has a way of dealing with smart alecks and I was honest enough with myself to admit that I crossed that particular line more than was strictly necessary.
After the pause in histrionics Lon and Vernon shook their heads and sat back down after making sure everyone else was doing so. I decided to give it another go. “Like I was saying, Matt is a brain trust; smarter than I am and I’m not embarrassed to admit it. And I’m honest enough to admit that he also may very well be every nasty thing everyone has been calling him. But none of that means that he is automatically the one currently in control or in power. It also doesn’t mean that it isn’t possible to think around him regardless of what his place in everything is.”
Lon asked, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Reggie answered for me. “It means that you don’t have to be smarter than him to outsmart him. Matt’s worst failing is that he can’t recognize that he could possibly be outsmarted. He’s brilliant but has a one-track mind; one of those I-think-therefore-it-must-be-so hang ups so many smart people have. If he is so determined to go one direction then we shake his confidence, or take enough of his game pieces of his board game, then he might not be able to adjust his plan in time to stop us from doing whatever it is we want to do. It is the only way I was ever able to beat him.”
I added, “That and the fact that he never knew if his opponent was you or someone else. You created new avatars left and right; faster than Matt could keep up with. If he couldn’t judge who you were then he didn’t know what your shortcomings were in real life and kind of twit you with them on the board. What a lot of people don’t know was part of Matt’s strategy was to study his opponents long before his opponents ever thought to challenge him. He also studied battlefield tactics and successful generals and stuff like that. It was the closest he came to finding history useful.”
Vernon said, “Sounds like Napoleon.”
I admitted, “Maybe. And if Napoleon met his Waterloo, the same thing can happen to Matt. Again, assuming he is the one in control of the chess board. We need to take a leaf out of his book and start studying who our opponent really is and then plan accordingly. Obviously surprise is out … but then again, maybe it isn’t. If Matt or whoever it is makes the mistake of assuming they know everything that we’re capable of then we operate outside that box they are trying to put us in. Wait for our opportunity. Then slam them hard and with something permanent.”
Jax said, “That’s all well and good but don’t forget, we’ve got Delorey Baumgarten added to the mix now.”
“Do we?” I asked. When I had everyone’s attention I said, “It is likely that we do but we don’t know for sure and we don’t know in what form.”
Vern leaned back in his chair and said, “Sure, I see it. We don’t know if he is going to take over the town or put someone in charge and use it as an outpost. Will he live on site or only drop by occasionally.”
Lon added, “We’ve heard he has aspirations. He wants the whole state under his control. To make that happen he is going to have to stay on the move.”
Vernon nodded and said, “We don’t know how far he is with that plan or if …” He stopped and shook his head. “We’ve got a lot of thinking to do but first thing we need to do is shore up our defenses. And I want a plan for that radiofax system ASAP so we can get the ball rolling. Come on boys, we need to head home and spread the word. It will help with morale.” Vernon looked at Jax and nodded but it would take me a while to figure out what that nod meant.
Part 1
“Is that all you got to say girl?”
I shrugged, “What else do you want me to say? If you are waiting for me to apologize for sticking that bomb on the Charger you’ll be waiting for a long while.”
I moved into the seriously crowded kitchen and looked around. In addition to Cal and Vernon, Lon was there as was Junior. I had to slow down as people shifted to make room for another body in the limited free space. I was heading for the stairs but Jax got in front of me and instead of making it easy on me he pulled a chair out like he was being a gentleman. I gave him a look that let him know I didn’t like being herded like a cow but he kept his face carefully blank and said, “Take a look at what is in that box Lydie.”
Not having much choice unless I was willing to make a scene I sat at the table and grabbed a box that Reggie pushed my way. Looking inside all I could say was, “Well isn’t this special. I wouldn’t have minded some flowers and candy but this is a little above and beyond don’t you think?”
I looked at Lon and Vernon who were both now inside and having Ginger refill their mugs. I smelled poultry seasoning and realized she had fixed them broth. “Where did you find this?” I asked them with a little less sass in my voice.
“One of the boys on guard duty at the farm shot it down while we were battling down by the river,” Vernon answered. “It’s the primary reason why we’re here instead of home in the arms of our women where we belong.”
I clinched my teeth against a comment concerning male chauvinism and then said, “So?”
“So I want to know if Matt is capable of making a contraption like that or if it is someone else eyeballing us.”
Before answering him I asked, “Why didn’t you call us on the radio instead of coming all this way?”
“’Cause I’m no longer sure that we can trust that our transmissions aren’t being monitored. And that’s another problem to come to terms with.”
I shrugged. “Telefax or Radiofax … you know, like they used to use in air traffic control towers back in the old days … the stuff you see in movies about World War 2 and the Korean and Vietnam Conflicts.”
The room got silent and then Vernon asked in clipped and irritated tones, “You can do that? Why haven’t you brought this up sooner?”
I clucked my tongue and told him, “Don’t get bent. It isn’t rocket science you know. If they were able to pull that sort of stuff off starting back in the 1920s when it was invented I don’t see why we can’t come up with something similar to it today. We can use radio waves instead of phone lines or other types of cable since we already have the set up on both ends. We keep it simple enough we could probably have something up and running within the week and unless someone else has the transmission wavelength and the right kind of receiving device they won’t really be able to capture what we were doing. I’d still use code just to be sure but …” I ended on another shrug. “As to why … if I had suspected we would need something like that I would have probably thought of it sooner. But garbage in garbage out. I can’t plan correctly if I don’t have all the data in a timely manner.”
Vernon and Lon looked at each other then at Jax who cocked an eyebrow at them. I looked at the three of them and just shook my head. “Am I supposed to interpret that bit of sign language or do you want something from me or what?”
Ignoring my question Vernon asked, “So do you think that Matt is capable of this?”
I answered, “Of course he is capable of it. Several people sitting around this table are capable of it including me, Reggie, you, Jax, and Lon for starters. However if you are asking is this for sure Matt’s handy work … ? I don’t know, did you look for a signature?” At their silence I started looking at the remains of the apparent drone in front of me. I hate when people like to test me like I’m some kind of trained monkey that they really don’t believe can use sign language. “This doesn’t look military, not sophisticated enough, and the two of you would have known that so why are you quizzing me on it? To be honest it looks more like something slapped together from spare parts from a hobby shop … and there were a couple of those in town at one point. So yeah, this could be Matt’s work … but Delorey could just as easily have someone working for him that knows the ropes as well. Some of those guys in the drug trade have military training … again something the two of you, with your experience, would know. It wouldn’t take much imagination for someone to replicate what had been used against them at some point.”
“So you can’t say for sure that this isn’t Matt’s work?”
“No more than I can say for sure that it is.” Looking at everyone looking at me I rolled my eyes. “Next question I guess is do I think that Matt is working for or against Delorey.”
“Yeah,” Lon admitted. “That’s the next question.”
“Why ask me this now?” I asked to no one in particular. Not getting an answer I told them, “Well, if he is working against Delorey I doubt it is being done openly. Delorey is mean, nasty, but worst of all for Matt’s purposes, he’s unpredictable. Matt wouldn’t like that – not that anyone would – and would have a hard time manipulating him because of it. Like I mentioned to everyone else, it’s possible that somehow or other Matt decided to use Delorey’s anger over the blow up and take Suicide out if for some reason Suicide was getting in Matt’s way. We still don’t know what his immediate, or even ultimate, goal is.”
Cal said, “But Jax said that you said Matt wants some kind of tech … uh … tech-no-u-topia … or something like that.”
“Maybe,” I agreed. “But that was just a guess on my part. I don’t have a direct line to Matt’s psyche no matter what any of you seem to think. I’m really not sure I know what is motivating him these days. I can guess – probably get closer to the truth than most people – but that doesn’t mean my guesses are automatically correct.”
Vernon asked, “But you suspect that Matt saw us coming at the very least.”
“Same as you did once you got out there in the middle of it.”
Then he asked, “You have any idea how he figured it out?”
I shook my head. “For pete sake, how am I supposed to know?” When they kept looking at me expectantly I just shrugged and told them, “It could have been any one of a handful of different ways. I’m sure you’ve got suspicions of your own. My best guess though would be by accident … he may still have taken credit for it but that doesn’t mean it didn’t start out just by plain ol’ accident. Maybe someone left a booby exposed or some equipment behind or one of their patrols spotted one of us … one of these drones could have seen us since we weren’t looking for them. Maybe Delorey had someone watching and we didn’t realize it … just any number of things. But Matt wouldn’t need but a few pieces of information to create a set of possible defenses. I don’t even know exactly what happened yet.”
Lon growled, “Jax can give you the details later. Basically we walked into an ambush. Luckily Suicide’s people weren’t expecting us to be able to throw as much firepower back at them as we did and hadn’t found all of the boobies.”
“Matt wouldn’t care about that.”
“Huh?”
“Matt wouldn’t care if he lost soldiers to the booby traps so long as his plan continued to move forward.” I stopped and gave it some serious thought and then turned to Reggie. “Reg, you’ve played against him enough to have a feel for him. What do you think? Was it a serious attack or … or maybe just a diversion … possibly to keep Suicide occupied until Delorey could get in place?”
Reggie had already picked up on what I was asking before I was half way through. “That’s a real possibility.”
“Jax?”
“Hum?” he answered like he hadn’t expected me to include him.
“Did you notice anything unusual about the fighting?”
“Unusual how?”
“You know where we laid the boobies. Did it look like the teams were supposed to avoid that area or were they trying to keep people away from some other area? Did you run into any teams that were trying to … I don’t know … box you in or turn you away or towards something?”
All of the guys started thinking about it at that point, trying to step back and see the big picture of how the battle had flowed. Jax answered first with, “They either didn’t know about the boobies on the embankments of the hill or didn’t care. Some of the ones we had set closer to town caught them off guard but not enough to stop and make them think. I can say they didn’t want us going near the waterfront but that’s probably because they’re using that area for their energy production.”
“Maybe, maybe not. How did Delorey get involved? Was he already in town? If not how did he get there? What …?”
Junior interrupted before I could continue. “Wasn’t by boat if that’s what you’re wondering; the river was iced over. But I don’t think he was there when the fighting started either. My team was closest to getting Suicide when I saw him start to freak when Delorey showed up. You’d figure Suicide would have known if Delorey was in town.”
“Maybe … probably … unless Matt was keeping it quiet,” Johnson added.
I held up my hand for a momentary pause. “We’re making a huge assumption here that it is Matt that is running the show. Even if we take Delorey out of the picture you know it is possible that Matt isn’t the one calling the shots.”
Jules snapped, “Are you honestly still defending that guy?”
My hackles snapped to attention and I belted back at him, “No. And I never defended him to begin with. I’m trying to use logic which is more than you are doing. I’m sorry about your girlfriend but you need to back off me and get your head out of your backside over this. More than likely Matt is certifiable but that doesn’t mean he’s boss hog at the feeding trough. We need to consider all possibilities before we act like idiots over nothing.”
Jules made to jump at me. Johnson and Aston grabbed him in surprised alarm. Jax and Reggie stepped in front of me. And Vernon and Lon shot up but let us sort it out ourselves.
I pushed Reggie to the side because Jax wasn’t budging. “Jules, don’t mess with me. I’ve about had my fill of people acting like they can talk to me anyway they want with impunity. It is not my fault that Matt has turned out like he has. It is not my fault that none of you that were left in town saw it until it was too late and you’ve suffered badly because of that. It is not my fault your girlfriend hurt you. I’m not sure that is particularly Matt’s fault either, but a choice she apparently made willingly. She’s responsible for that, not me and not anyone else. I understand how bad it has to hurt that she turned on you but she is the one that did you wrong. Stop letting it rule your life and your commonsense.”
Aiden who had come into the kitchen, aided by Janice whom he was leaning on fairly heavily said, “Jules … I hate to say it but she’s right. You’re trying to make other people pay for what she did to you, trying to make it someone else’s fault. Ain’t happening Cuz. She isn’t coming back.”
Jules snarled, “I don’t want her back.”
“Good,” I told him. “I think you deserve better. She had no right to do you like that. If she wanted out she could have ended it a heck of a lot better than she did.” He started to say something but then just looked at me like he wasn’t sure he’d heard what I’d said. Giving him a hard look I asked, “How do you think I felt about what Matt and Marty did to me? Think on it. And also wonder how I felt when it seemed that all my friends turned on me at the same time, favoring Matt and Marty’s side over mine.” He just sort of blinked like that wasn’t anything that had ever occurred to him. Feeling I’d made my point I said, “Now let’s everyone sit down and get back to business before Lon and Vernon start wondering if we are all just a bunch of hormonal, angst-ridden teenagers.”
Jax sighed and looked to the heavens for patience. The imp in me wanted to tell him to be careful what you prayed for as God had a way of answering when you least expected it … and usually in the form of lessons that forced you to acquire the skills you were expecting free of charge. Praying for patience seemed to be one of the more dangerous types of prayers a person could make. But I managed to keep my mouth shut because God also has a way of dealing with smart alecks and I was honest enough with myself to admit that I crossed that particular line more than was strictly necessary.
After the pause in histrionics Lon and Vernon shook their heads and sat back down after making sure everyone else was doing so. I decided to give it another go. “Like I was saying, Matt is a brain trust; smarter than I am and I’m not embarrassed to admit it. And I’m honest enough to admit that he also may very well be every nasty thing everyone has been calling him. But none of that means that he is automatically the one currently in control or in power. It also doesn’t mean that it isn’t possible to think around him regardless of what his place in everything is.”
Lon asked, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Reggie answered for me. “It means that you don’t have to be smarter than him to outsmart him. Matt’s worst failing is that he can’t recognize that he could possibly be outsmarted. He’s brilliant but has a one-track mind; one of those I-think-therefore-it-must-be-so hang ups so many smart people have. If he is so determined to go one direction then we shake his confidence, or take enough of his game pieces of his board game, then he might not be able to adjust his plan in time to stop us from doing whatever it is we want to do. It is the only way I was ever able to beat him.”
I added, “That and the fact that he never knew if his opponent was you or someone else. You created new avatars left and right; faster than Matt could keep up with. If he couldn’t judge who you were then he didn’t know what your shortcomings were in real life and kind of twit you with them on the board. What a lot of people don’t know was part of Matt’s strategy was to study his opponents long before his opponents ever thought to challenge him. He also studied battlefield tactics and successful generals and stuff like that. It was the closest he came to finding history useful.”
Vernon said, “Sounds like Napoleon.”
I admitted, “Maybe. And if Napoleon met his Waterloo, the same thing can happen to Matt. Again, assuming he is the one in control of the chess board. We need to take a leaf out of his book and start studying who our opponent really is and then plan accordingly. Obviously surprise is out … but then again, maybe it isn’t. If Matt or whoever it is makes the mistake of assuming they know everything that we’re capable of then we operate outside that box they are trying to put us in. Wait for our opportunity. Then slam them hard and with something permanent.”
Jax said, “That’s all well and good but don’t forget, we’ve got Delorey Baumgarten added to the mix now.”
“Do we?” I asked. When I had everyone’s attention I said, “It is likely that we do but we don’t know for sure and we don’t know in what form.”
Vern leaned back in his chair and said, “Sure, I see it. We don’t know if he is going to take over the town or put someone in charge and use it as an outpost. Will he live on site or only drop by occasionally.”
Lon added, “We’ve heard he has aspirations. He wants the whole state under his control. To make that happen he is going to have to stay on the move.”
Vernon nodded and said, “We don’t know how far he is with that plan or if …” He stopped and shook his head. “We’ve got a lot of thinking to do but first thing we need to do is shore up our defenses. And I want a plan for that radiofax system ASAP so we can get the ball rolling. Come on boys, we need to head home and spread the word. It will help with morale.” Vernon looked at Jax and nodded but it would take me a while to figure out what that nod meant.
I'm impressed with Lydie's self control. Being left out of key planning and yet being expected to somehow "have all the answers".... I'd of simply walked out and let them figure it all out. For awhile anyways. I would have also demanded to know "everything" before I said a word.
.
So despite all she has done for those staying at HER place, they STILL treat her like "less than them". Even Jax. I keep waiting for them all to gang up and kick her out.
I'm beginning to think that only Kelly has pure intentions towards her.
Thanks!
.
So despite all she has done for those staying at HER place, they STILL treat her like "less than them". Even Jax. I keep waiting for them all to gang up and kick her out.
I'm beginning to think that only Kelly has pure intentions towards her.
Thanks!
Hickory7
Senior Member
I agree, Kaija. She keeps letting them in..feeding them, giving them the benefit of the doubt and they don't do it for her. I would have not said a word, either, unless they gave me all the info. I DO NOT have patience like she does. And it seems sadly like Jax is doing it as well when the info. is about the fighting.
Thank You, Kathy. It was wonderful to get on and have multiple chapters to catch up on.
Thank You, Kathy. It was wonderful to get on and have multiple chapters to catch up on.
223shootersc
Veteran Member
very good chapter, hope she can out smart him
The Empire Strikes Back
Part 2
It took a while – despite the fatigue and nerves the day had wrought – to start to get the house settled as the sun went down and evening set in. Ashley was sent to bed again after Jax checked her blood pressure and didn’t care for it. Ginger was doing her best to keep our injured from climbing the walls and sniping at each other. Suicide’s death – actual or imminent – was a victory of sorts but they didn’t feel it because, as I had warned, the problem didn’t go away but merely changed. And Delorey’s reputation was enough to leave everyone with a sour stomach.
Alexis was in a strange mood. She just sat in the corner of the kitchen, silent and withdrawn. Not even Gennie could reach her.
I asked the girl to come out to the hallway in the guise of giving her something to do that was urgently needed. “Gennie, I know you mean well but give Alexis some space,” I told her quietly. “It’s nothing against you. She’s probably just having a rough time with some memories of what all happened today. And maybe getting wrapped up in what happened to both of you before. She had to get awfully close to some of the people that likely had a hand in hurting her.”
“No way, Alexis is tough. Nothing can shake her.”
“Yes way … and it is because Alexis is tough. If I had to guess, this is her way of holding it together for the moment; but she’s human, not a robot. Cut her some slack. She’ll snap back, but you gotta give her some room to do it. The more you ride her the less focus she has to deal with what is going on inside her head.”
Janice overheard us in the hallway and interrupted. “Gennie, come give me a hand with Johnson. He’ll stay put if he thinks he is doing it for you. I need some air from all these guys.”
Gennie gave me her your-are-crazy look and went to do Janice’s bidding. Janice looked at me and said, “See what I mean about her not getting things? She’s awful young for the age she claims to be, even after everything that happened to her.”
I nodded. “Maybe. But if she’s going to lie I can’t make her spit her real age out. Might be trauma or something setting her back too.”
Janice admitted, “Maybe.” Before I could go back to the kitchen she asked, “You think Alexis is really alright or is it something else?”
“I think she’ll be OK if people stop constantly asking her if she is OK and give her a chance to deal. I know what it is like to need some space to think things out. You’ve heard what Reggie and I did the first time we had a run in with those thugs from town.”
She shrugged. “As long as you don’t think it is anything else.”
“Anything else like what?”
“Johnson … he said … there might be a spy.”
For two seconds I wanted to laugh. On the third second I scowled instead. “Doesn’t Jules wonder if that’s me?”
She had the grace to blush. “Maybe you should give him some room to deal like you’re willing to give Alexis. I know he’s not doing too well at the moment but you know he isn’t a bad guy.”
“All I know is that he needs to at least try better than what he’s been giving it. Make sure Aiden understands that and gets his cousin to understand that. We’re supposed to be a team. A team is only as good as its weakest link. If Jules wants to feel sorry for himself then he needs to understand what he is actually doing is putting the rest of at risk. Other people start understanding that part of it and Jules might just wind up with something bruised besides his heart.”
She nodded and went her way and I returned to the kitchen where I was cooking up a light supper for those that wanted something. I was flipping corn patties when Alexis looked over at me. “They asked you about being a spy yet?”
I looked at her casually and shrugged. “People always need someone to blame when their plans don’t work the way they expected them to. I doubt they really mean it; why should they. It’s just that they made a plan that sounded good but when they were in the middle of implementing it they found out at that their enemy was smarter than they gave him credit for being.”
Then she asked the question no one had been willing to ask up to that point. “Is Matt too smart for us to beat?”
I’d already considered it but had tossed that idea out the window. I’d realized Matt didn’t belong on the pedestal I’d had him up on. Casually I told her, “Nope.”
Surprised, some of her lethargy disappeared. “You say that like you are absolutely certain.”
With absolute conviction I said, “I am.”
“After today how can you be?”
I revealed, “It is because of today that I am.”
A creak behind me had me turning to find Jax looking a little forlorn but trying not to show it. “That doesn’t make a lot of sense right now Lydie.”
I put a couple of corn patties on a plate and handed them to him to hold him until I finished everything else. “Molasses and stuff is on the table. You should eat something; that belt doesn’t have another notch in it.”
He sat and I tried to hand a duplicate plate to Alexis but she only took one of the patties and then pushed the rest back at me. She sat there forcing herself to nibble to keep me off her back but wouldn’t let me ignore explaining what I’d said. “So if you weren’t sure up until now that we could beat him. What is it about the fact that we got our butts kicked that changed your mind?”
“All the mistakes he made,” I told her like it was obvious.
“I didn’t see no mistakes,” she said quietly.
I shrugged. “Pull back from the battle field; right now you’re too close. First off being prepared for our attack let us know he thinks we’re capable of attacking which means he was worried enough to be prepared. That’s a confidence booster right there.” I added slices of country ham to the skillet and the sound and smell of it frying filled the kitchen. “Then there was the fact that he wasn’t prepared for the amount of firepower we mustered. Vernon and Lon would be able to recognize something like that and if they said it I have to believe that was what kept the ambush from being successful. That was a big mistake Matt made … underestimating the enemy.”
I flipped the ham and the sound of sizzling renewed. “He also gave away that the waterfront was important. If we know what he considers important then we know where he is vulnerable. And then there is the fact that he gave up so many of his chess pieces … his pawns. Even if he can talk himself out of looking like he wasn’t as prepared as he thought he was, people are going to be resentful that so many were hurt and killed, especially because they didn’t send any of our side to the Pearly Gates. It will get some of the remaining pawns wondering if he is all that they think he is. Of course Matt can blame Suicide for the failure but that doesn’t mean that we have to believe him even if the pawns ultimately do.”
I took the ham slices out of the skillet, added a little coffee, and proceeded to make red-eye gravy from the drippings left in the pan. “But if our observations are correct, Suicide didn’t have enough people to control all of the land within the city limits to begin with. Whoever is now in charge is going to have even fewer. That means that they can’t watch every building and road all the time. They’ll be stretched thin and it will create areas of vulnerability. I suspect they’ll set up observation points and probably get remote cameras going but power will be limited so …”
Jax interrupted. “He’s got the power back on.”
I turned and found that either my voice or the smell of cooking had drawn several of the guys back into the room. Looking at Jax I asked, “What do you mean he has the power back on?”
Aston – Reggie was currently on duty in the cupola – looked grim and said, “The National Guard got the dam back on line. But from what we observed it looks like it is only partially online, kinda cobbled together with duct tape and drywall screws.”
I was literally speechless for a moment but not from being stunned. I was royally hacked. I turned like a snake and threw the spatula into the sink so hard Reggie probably heard it up in the attic. “Somebody – anybody – wanna tell me why I didn’t know that?! How on God’s green earth am I supposed to come up with a reasonably accurate hypothesis if I don’t have all the data?!!!”
Jax looked very uncomfortable as did Aston. Johnson just shrugged like it was obvious. “We didn’t want any leaks. Someone seemed to be feeding him information.”
That idea settled in the pit of my stomach like a piece of brimstone. “We’ll get back to the idea of who that someone is in a minute. Right now I wanna know what you mean that it seemed that someone was feeding him ideas or information.”
Jax stood up quickly and came to my side but not before Johnson could finish saying, “You talked about the dam coming back online and suddenly it was. You talked about using the river for power and suddenly it happens.”
Something inside me snapped. I almost heard it, knew what it meant but it was too late. I shouted, “Did you get concussed one too many times on the playing field?!! You people wanted to know how Matt would think and what he was likely to do so I tell you!! Now you’re blaming me because I was right?!” I then turned and snarled at Jax, “And you! How could you … you … you …”
I was so angry that I was losing my ability to verbalize it. Jax had never seen me this angry. No one had. No one knew about the fact that I’d had to do some major repairs and remodeling after the last person left after the memorial service for my family. I hadn’t been able to hold it in another moment and it wasn’t until I’d thrown, kicked, and broken enough things to wear myself out that I was able to stop. My anger boiled up and out – had been trying to for a long while at that point – and I grabbed the hot skillet and flung it straight at Johnson’s head. He barely had time to avoid it and scalding gravy went everywhere.
I growled like a wild beast and would have thrown a chair next but Jax jerked it away and suddenly I found myself on the floor as he tackled me before I could go for something else. “Lydie! Stop it!!”
“You! You traitor!! Get off me!” I screamed.
“I’m not! I swear I never believed any of it!!”
“Get off me!!”
“Please listen to me! It’s not like you’re thinking!! Just give me a chance! I knew you’d be hurt if you found out! But I knew you’d prove them wrong!! I knew you’d prove it Lydie just by being you!! I thought this way you’d never have to know!!”
We wrestled for a bit. Then still fighting I screamed at him, “How could you let them say those things?!! Why didn’t you tell them to shut up or get out! Why didn’t you tell me what was going on?!! If I had known about the dam I could have told you it was already too late!! You wouldn’t have had to risk getting killed! Get off me!!!”
“I got out voted! I told you I knew you’d prove them wrong!”
“When did any of this become a freaking democracy?!!” I asked, finally levering him off of me.
I jumped up and would have started throwing things again but the alarmed look on Jax’s face had me spinning around. He shouted, “Don’t lay a hand on her Johnson. If you do I swear it will be the last thing you ever do.”
“Look at her. She’s insane! She burned just about everyone in the room just because her feelings got hurt.”
Jax stepped between me and Johnson, whether for his sake or mine I don’t know. “And how would you be if you’d gone through everything she’s gone through, invited people into your home out of the goodness of your heart, and then basically had them turn on you?!”
Reggie had come from someplace but I only registered him as another problem. But unlike his normal behavioral choices this time he stepped in and seriously manned up and started addressing the problem rather than just reacting to it. “You’re right Lydie, one of us should have said something. But I gotta say, Jax hated it from the very beginning. He busted Junior in the mouth hard enough to knock a tooth loose. He got in a fight with a couple of the others from Houchins Farm as well. He nearly got into it with Vern and Lon and you know what they could have done to him with all their training, but still he was willing to go there. He wouldn’t let anyone bad mouth you while he was around. He never once, not once, believed any of that crap. I didn’t either, I just … I just didn’t know they’d ever be stupid enough to say anything to your face about it.”
I nearly jumped out of my skin when Alexis put her arm around me. Reggie said, “Don’t! Alexis, just back away. When she’s like this she … she might not know …”
“So you know she goes nutso beserk?” I heard her ask the question but it was like it was over a bad phone line.
“I saw her once. Will, her brother, was already bad sick but still able to do some things at that point so long as he was careful. That day we were all down at the Little League park for the play offs when these out of town kids from the other team came over and started messing with him. His face was all out of shape because of some medicine he was on, steroids I think, and they … well they chose the wrong person to try and hurt. I’m not sure they meant to but one of them knocked Will down and that port thing he used to wear in his arm started bleeding. Lydie went bye-bye and She Hulk showed up. If the guy she’d been aiming at hadn’t moved he would have gotten caught between the metal trash barrel she threw and the light pole he’d been standing by and gotten squished like a bug. It took Matt, Marty, Will and a couple of the adults to keep her from ripping that guy’s throat out. As soon as she calmed down she started crying and asking for her father. She wouldn’t let anyone near Will and he wouldn’t let anyone near her until their dad showed up and man, he was nearly as angry as Lydie had been. Cops got called and everything. Funny though … it was Matt that suggested that if something happened like Lydie getting arrested or anything, there were plenty of people standing around that would sign affidavits to the effect that she’d been protecting her dying brother and it would look really, really bad in court for the other guy and maybe even some of the adults would then be sued for not being responsible and keeping the kids they brought with them under control. He said it would be a real shame to see the coaches on the other team and some of the parents over there take a financial fall just because of one crap head. We were only like fourteen and he still managed to work that situation like … well like a maestro.”
I was shivering. Too much emotion and adrenaline were still zinging through my veins. I don’t know why she said it but something must have happened because the next thing I know Alexis is putting my coat on me and saying, “Give me a break. Haven’t you guys done enough damage as it is?”
Next thing I clearly remember is sitting on the floor of the animal barn with King Kong in my lap and realizing he was going to be hacked at how wet I was getting his fur. I brushed the tears off his back and then off my face. I looked up to find Alexis watching me. She asked, “You ok now?”
I gave a cynical chuckle. “If by ok you mean will I survive the fact that I just destroyed my life? The answer is that I’m doubtful.”
She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Geez, be a drama queen. You didn’t destroy your life.”
Hesitantly I asked, “Did I hurt anyone? I can’t remember.”
“Only their pride and that deserved a good swift kick in the front of their pants.”
“No,” I told her. “You can’t do guys that way. It messes with their heads too much. It’s too hard to fix when it gets broken.”
“They aren’t broke,” she told me and then came to sit beside me on the floor. “They might be a little dented but broke they’re not.”
The door opened and Jax slid inside. Alexis looked at him and said, “You better figure out how to fix this. She still ain’t all here and we need her.”
She got up and left. It took a moment but Jax took her place. He sat so close our hips touched but I had nothing left to react with. “Can I fix this Lydie? Will you let me or have I screwed up too bad?”
I pulled my knees up to my chest and put my head on them. “Why would you want to? You think Matt is nuts and don’t want to have anything to do with him even though your close blood kin, which I understand. But now you know I’m nuts too. You’ll leave and take Kelly away. Everyone will leave.”
Slowly and gently he put his arm around me. “I could give a rat’s behind about anyone else but Kelly and I aren’t leaving. Maybe it would be best if some of the others did leave. There’re too many people in too small a space. Things get said that shouldn’t be said. We’re too close to what is going on to be objective. You were right, we shouldn’t have been running it like a democracy … at least not about some things. I … I should have said something Lydie. I just didn’t want to see your feelings get hurt after all you’ve done. But I didn’t know how to … to prove to them that they had it all wrong. I knew in time you’d prove them wrong, I just … just misjudged the timing. But that’s no excuse.”
I felt like curling into a ball, disintegrating, and blowing away. “Why Jax? Why?! I did what everyone asked me to do. I didn’t even fuss when they kept me out of things even though it hurt the way it was done. Do I have to go take out Matt myself … be the one to put a bullet in his brain … for people to get off my back and give me some credit? And why would they think I was in cahoots with him? It doesn’t make sense.”
“No it doesn’t. I tried to tell them they were letting their feelings get in the way of their commonsense but they didn’t want to listen. I … I tried to handle it without you finding out. I only wanted to protect you Lydie.”
I faced a choice, maybe one of the most important I had ever made in my life. I could hold onto my hurt which would eventually accomplish exactly what I was afraid of … being left all alone again … or I could try and meet Jax half way. It wouldn’t change the fact that I was hurt. I couldn’t take back the things I’d done to hurt them in return. But I could try and be as brave as he was being and not give up.
Slowly and carefully I leaned my head over until it rested against his shoulder. He seemed to be holding his breath but then leaned his head over so that it barely rested on mine and then even more slowly he turned his face and kissed me near my ear. “I’m … I’m sorry I messed up,” he whispered into my hair.
“I’m sorry that I went nuts over it,” I whispered back.
I shuddered, some of the things I’d done and said coming back to me. “Easy,” he said. “It’s OK.”
“No it’s not Jax. This isn’t the kind of thing that can be swept under a rug. For a lot of reasons.”
He told me, “We’ll deal with it.”
“How? How can I expect anyone to …”
Both Jax and I jumped when Johnson said, “About that … I … uh … just got really reamed out by Janice, Alexis, and Ginger so … you know …” He’d stuck his head in the door but decided to follow it the rest of the way into the room where it was warmer. He shut the door and started again. “Let’s just call it even and move forward. We made a mistake. So maybe I hate Matt more than I realized and was looking for a reason to hate him some more because it feels good; at least that is what Janice said. Maybe … I don’t know, Reggie brought this up … maybe part of Matt’s game plan is to turn us against each other. He’s apparently pretty good at it. If that’s it he can go pound sand. If … if we … uh … still have a place to stay we should stay a team just to hack him off if nothing else.”
Jax looked at me and I sighed tiredly. “What do you expect me to do? Kick you guys out in the middle of winter with no place to go and no food? That’s as close as it gets to murder without pulling the trigger. You still think I’m that bad a person?”
“Not … uh … not really. But I wouldn’t be surprised if you maybe wanted to.”
“Well I don’t want to so there. Just … just …” It was too much. I shivered again.
Jax said, “Take off Johnson. And keep everyone else from bothering her too. I’m going to take her up to our room and I’ll be down later to talk things out.”
After Johnson had left I said, “You don’t need to do that. I made the mess, I’ll …”
“The mess was made by everyone. Too many missteps. Too many assumptions. We haven’t been thinking things through right. We’ve been reacting and that’s about it. We’ve paid a price for it. It doesn’t matter whether Matt set us up somehow or if we are doing it to ourselves, it’s time for this crap to stop. Now I want you to let me do for you, give you one of them cups of tea you take when you have a headache. Then I want you to rest. We’ll have to get back at this tomorrow but for tonight just do as I ask.”
Trying for his sake to offer a small smile but failing miserably I asked, “Doctor’s orders?”
“No. I’m no doctor. But I care about you Lydie … love you more than I know how to show you. Just for tonight let me pretend I can protect you the way I mean to. Let me take care of you and tell everyone else they can go to Hades for a while.”
Sighing in relief that I wouldn’t have to face anyone for a while and beginning to feel that maybe the whole world wasn’t going to come to an end after all I said, “OK. I think I can handle that.”
Part 2
It took a while – despite the fatigue and nerves the day had wrought – to start to get the house settled as the sun went down and evening set in. Ashley was sent to bed again after Jax checked her blood pressure and didn’t care for it. Ginger was doing her best to keep our injured from climbing the walls and sniping at each other. Suicide’s death – actual or imminent – was a victory of sorts but they didn’t feel it because, as I had warned, the problem didn’t go away but merely changed. And Delorey’s reputation was enough to leave everyone with a sour stomach.
Alexis was in a strange mood. She just sat in the corner of the kitchen, silent and withdrawn. Not even Gennie could reach her.
I asked the girl to come out to the hallway in the guise of giving her something to do that was urgently needed. “Gennie, I know you mean well but give Alexis some space,” I told her quietly. “It’s nothing against you. She’s probably just having a rough time with some memories of what all happened today. And maybe getting wrapped up in what happened to both of you before. She had to get awfully close to some of the people that likely had a hand in hurting her.”
“No way, Alexis is tough. Nothing can shake her.”
“Yes way … and it is because Alexis is tough. If I had to guess, this is her way of holding it together for the moment; but she’s human, not a robot. Cut her some slack. She’ll snap back, but you gotta give her some room to do it. The more you ride her the less focus she has to deal with what is going on inside her head.”
Janice overheard us in the hallway and interrupted. “Gennie, come give me a hand with Johnson. He’ll stay put if he thinks he is doing it for you. I need some air from all these guys.”
Gennie gave me her your-are-crazy look and went to do Janice’s bidding. Janice looked at me and said, “See what I mean about her not getting things? She’s awful young for the age she claims to be, even after everything that happened to her.”
I nodded. “Maybe. But if she’s going to lie I can’t make her spit her real age out. Might be trauma or something setting her back too.”
Janice admitted, “Maybe.” Before I could go back to the kitchen she asked, “You think Alexis is really alright or is it something else?”
“I think she’ll be OK if people stop constantly asking her if she is OK and give her a chance to deal. I know what it is like to need some space to think things out. You’ve heard what Reggie and I did the first time we had a run in with those thugs from town.”
She shrugged. “As long as you don’t think it is anything else.”
“Anything else like what?”
“Johnson … he said … there might be a spy.”
For two seconds I wanted to laugh. On the third second I scowled instead. “Doesn’t Jules wonder if that’s me?”
She had the grace to blush. “Maybe you should give him some room to deal like you’re willing to give Alexis. I know he’s not doing too well at the moment but you know he isn’t a bad guy.”
“All I know is that he needs to at least try better than what he’s been giving it. Make sure Aiden understands that and gets his cousin to understand that. We’re supposed to be a team. A team is only as good as its weakest link. If Jules wants to feel sorry for himself then he needs to understand what he is actually doing is putting the rest of at risk. Other people start understanding that part of it and Jules might just wind up with something bruised besides his heart.”
She nodded and went her way and I returned to the kitchen where I was cooking up a light supper for those that wanted something. I was flipping corn patties when Alexis looked over at me. “They asked you about being a spy yet?”
I looked at her casually and shrugged. “People always need someone to blame when their plans don’t work the way they expected them to. I doubt they really mean it; why should they. It’s just that they made a plan that sounded good but when they were in the middle of implementing it they found out at that their enemy was smarter than they gave him credit for being.”
Then she asked the question no one had been willing to ask up to that point. “Is Matt too smart for us to beat?”
I’d already considered it but had tossed that idea out the window. I’d realized Matt didn’t belong on the pedestal I’d had him up on. Casually I told her, “Nope.”
Surprised, some of her lethargy disappeared. “You say that like you are absolutely certain.”
With absolute conviction I said, “I am.”
“After today how can you be?”
I revealed, “It is because of today that I am.”
A creak behind me had me turning to find Jax looking a little forlorn but trying not to show it. “That doesn’t make a lot of sense right now Lydie.”
I put a couple of corn patties on a plate and handed them to him to hold him until I finished everything else. “Molasses and stuff is on the table. You should eat something; that belt doesn’t have another notch in it.”
He sat and I tried to hand a duplicate plate to Alexis but she only took one of the patties and then pushed the rest back at me. She sat there forcing herself to nibble to keep me off her back but wouldn’t let me ignore explaining what I’d said. “So if you weren’t sure up until now that we could beat him. What is it about the fact that we got our butts kicked that changed your mind?”
“All the mistakes he made,” I told her like it was obvious.
“I didn’t see no mistakes,” she said quietly.
I shrugged. “Pull back from the battle field; right now you’re too close. First off being prepared for our attack let us know he thinks we’re capable of attacking which means he was worried enough to be prepared. That’s a confidence booster right there.” I added slices of country ham to the skillet and the sound and smell of it frying filled the kitchen. “Then there was the fact that he wasn’t prepared for the amount of firepower we mustered. Vernon and Lon would be able to recognize something like that and if they said it I have to believe that was what kept the ambush from being successful. That was a big mistake Matt made … underestimating the enemy.”
I flipped the ham and the sound of sizzling renewed. “He also gave away that the waterfront was important. If we know what he considers important then we know where he is vulnerable. And then there is the fact that he gave up so many of his chess pieces … his pawns. Even if he can talk himself out of looking like he wasn’t as prepared as he thought he was, people are going to be resentful that so many were hurt and killed, especially because they didn’t send any of our side to the Pearly Gates. It will get some of the remaining pawns wondering if he is all that they think he is. Of course Matt can blame Suicide for the failure but that doesn’t mean that we have to believe him even if the pawns ultimately do.”
I took the ham slices out of the skillet, added a little coffee, and proceeded to make red-eye gravy from the drippings left in the pan. “But if our observations are correct, Suicide didn’t have enough people to control all of the land within the city limits to begin with. Whoever is now in charge is going to have even fewer. That means that they can’t watch every building and road all the time. They’ll be stretched thin and it will create areas of vulnerability. I suspect they’ll set up observation points and probably get remote cameras going but power will be limited so …”
Jax interrupted. “He’s got the power back on.”
I turned and found that either my voice or the smell of cooking had drawn several of the guys back into the room. Looking at Jax I asked, “What do you mean he has the power back on?”
Aston – Reggie was currently on duty in the cupola – looked grim and said, “The National Guard got the dam back on line. But from what we observed it looks like it is only partially online, kinda cobbled together with duct tape and drywall screws.”
I was literally speechless for a moment but not from being stunned. I was royally hacked. I turned like a snake and threw the spatula into the sink so hard Reggie probably heard it up in the attic. “Somebody – anybody – wanna tell me why I didn’t know that?! How on God’s green earth am I supposed to come up with a reasonably accurate hypothesis if I don’t have all the data?!!!”
Jax looked very uncomfortable as did Aston. Johnson just shrugged like it was obvious. “We didn’t want any leaks. Someone seemed to be feeding him information.”
That idea settled in the pit of my stomach like a piece of brimstone. “We’ll get back to the idea of who that someone is in a minute. Right now I wanna know what you mean that it seemed that someone was feeding him ideas or information.”
Jax stood up quickly and came to my side but not before Johnson could finish saying, “You talked about the dam coming back online and suddenly it was. You talked about using the river for power and suddenly it happens.”
Something inside me snapped. I almost heard it, knew what it meant but it was too late. I shouted, “Did you get concussed one too many times on the playing field?!! You people wanted to know how Matt would think and what he was likely to do so I tell you!! Now you’re blaming me because I was right?!” I then turned and snarled at Jax, “And you! How could you … you … you …”
I was so angry that I was losing my ability to verbalize it. Jax had never seen me this angry. No one had. No one knew about the fact that I’d had to do some major repairs and remodeling after the last person left after the memorial service for my family. I hadn’t been able to hold it in another moment and it wasn’t until I’d thrown, kicked, and broken enough things to wear myself out that I was able to stop. My anger boiled up and out – had been trying to for a long while at that point – and I grabbed the hot skillet and flung it straight at Johnson’s head. He barely had time to avoid it and scalding gravy went everywhere.
I growled like a wild beast and would have thrown a chair next but Jax jerked it away and suddenly I found myself on the floor as he tackled me before I could go for something else. “Lydie! Stop it!!”
“You! You traitor!! Get off me!” I screamed.
“I’m not! I swear I never believed any of it!!”
“Get off me!!”
“Please listen to me! It’s not like you’re thinking!! Just give me a chance! I knew you’d be hurt if you found out! But I knew you’d prove them wrong!! I knew you’d prove it Lydie just by being you!! I thought this way you’d never have to know!!”
We wrestled for a bit. Then still fighting I screamed at him, “How could you let them say those things?!! Why didn’t you tell them to shut up or get out! Why didn’t you tell me what was going on?!! If I had known about the dam I could have told you it was already too late!! You wouldn’t have had to risk getting killed! Get off me!!!”
“I got out voted! I told you I knew you’d prove them wrong!”
“When did any of this become a freaking democracy?!!” I asked, finally levering him off of me.
I jumped up and would have started throwing things again but the alarmed look on Jax’s face had me spinning around. He shouted, “Don’t lay a hand on her Johnson. If you do I swear it will be the last thing you ever do.”
“Look at her. She’s insane! She burned just about everyone in the room just because her feelings got hurt.”
Jax stepped between me and Johnson, whether for his sake or mine I don’t know. “And how would you be if you’d gone through everything she’s gone through, invited people into your home out of the goodness of your heart, and then basically had them turn on you?!”
Reggie had come from someplace but I only registered him as another problem. But unlike his normal behavioral choices this time he stepped in and seriously manned up and started addressing the problem rather than just reacting to it. “You’re right Lydie, one of us should have said something. But I gotta say, Jax hated it from the very beginning. He busted Junior in the mouth hard enough to knock a tooth loose. He got in a fight with a couple of the others from Houchins Farm as well. He nearly got into it with Vern and Lon and you know what they could have done to him with all their training, but still he was willing to go there. He wouldn’t let anyone bad mouth you while he was around. He never once, not once, believed any of that crap. I didn’t either, I just … I just didn’t know they’d ever be stupid enough to say anything to your face about it.”
I nearly jumped out of my skin when Alexis put her arm around me. Reggie said, “Don’t! Alexis, just back away. When she’s like this she … she might not know …”
“So you know she goes nutso beserk?” I heard her ask the question but it was like it was over a bad phone line.
“I saw her once. Will, her brother, was already bad sick but still able to do some things at that point so long as he was careful. That day we were all down at the Little League park for the play offs when these out of town kids from the other team came over and started messing with him. His face was all out of shape because of some medicine he was on, steroids I think, and they … well they chose the wrong person to try and hurt. I’m not sure they meant to but one of them knocked Will down and that port thing he used to wear in his arm started bleeding. Lydie went bye-bye and She Hulk showed up. If the guy she’d been aiming at hadn’t moved he would have gotten caught between the metal trash barrel she threw and the light pole he’d been standing by and gotten squished like a bug. It took Matt, Marty, Will and a couple of the adults to keep her from ripping that guy’s throat out. As soon as she calmed down she started crying and asking for her father. She wouldn’t let anyone near Will and he wouldn’t let anyone near her until their dad showed up and man, he was nearly as angry as Lydie had been. Cops got called and everything. Funny though … it was Matt that suggested that if something happened like Lydie getting arrested or anything, there were plenty of people standing around that would sign affidavits to the effect that she’d been protecting her dying brother and it would look really, really bad in court for the other guy and maybe even some of the adults would then be sued for not being responsible and keeping the kids they brought with them under control. He said it would be a real shame to see the coaches on the other team and some of the parents over there take a financial fall just because of one crap head. We were only like fourteen and he still managed to work that situation like … well like a maestro.”
I was shivering. Too much emotion and adrenaline were still zinging through my veins. I don’t know why she said it but something must have happened because the next thing I know Alexis is putting my coat on me and saying, “Give me a break. Haven’t you guys done enough damage as it is?”
Next thing I clearly remember is sitting on the floor of the animal barn with King Kong in my lap and realizing he was going to be hacked at how wet I was getting his fur. I brushed the tears off his back and then off my face. I looked up to find Alexis watching me. She asked, “You ok now?”
I gave a cynical chuckle. “If by ok you mean will I survive the fact that I just destroyed my life? The answer is that I’m doubtful.”
She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Geez, be a drama queen. You didn’t destroy your life.”
Hesitantly I asked, “Did I hurt anyone? I can’t remember.”
“Only their pride and that deserved a good swift kick in the front of their pants.”
“No,” I told her. “You can’t do guys that way. It messes with their heads too much. It’s too hard to fix when it gets broken.”
“They aren’t broke,” she told me and then came to sit beside me on the floor. “They might be a little dented but broke they’re not.”
The door opened and Jax slid inside. Alexis looked at him and said, “You better figure out how to fix this. She still ain’t all here and we need her.”
She got up and left. It took a moment but Jax took her place. He sat so close our hips touched but I had nothing left to react with. “Can I fix this Lydie? Will you let me or have I screwed up too bad?”
I pulled my knees up to my chest and put my head on them. “Why would you want to? You think Matt is nuts and don’t want to have anything to do with him even though your close blood kin, which I understand. But now you know I’m nuts too. You’ll leave and take Kelly away. Everyone will leave.”
Slowly and gently he put his arm around me. “I could give a rat’s behind about anyone else but Kelly and I aren’t leaving. Maybe it would be best if some of the others did leave. There’re too many people in too small a space. Things get said that shouldn’t be said. We’re too close to what is going on to be objective. You were right, we shouldn’t have been running it like a democracy … at least not about some things. I … I should have said something Lydie. I just didn’t want to see your feelings get hurt after all you’ve done. But I didn’t know how to … to prove to them that they had it all wrong. I knew in time you’d prove them wrong, I just … just misjudged the timing. But that’s no excuse.”
I felt like curling into a ball, disintegrating, and blowing away. “Why Jax? Why?! I did what everyone asked me to do. I didn’t even fuss when they kept me out of things even though it hurt the way it was done. Do I have to go take out Matt myself … be the one to put a bullet in his brain … for people to get off my back and give me some credit? And why would they think I was in cahoots with him? It doesn’t make sense.”
“No it doesn’t. I tried to tell them they were letting their feelings get in the way of their commonsense but they didn’t want to listen. I … I tried to handle it without you finding out. I only wanted to protect you Lydie.”
I faced a choice, maybe one of the most important I had ever made in my life. I could hold onto my hurt which would eventually accomplish exactly what I was afraid of … being left all alone again … or I could try and meet Jax half way. It wouldn’t change the fact that I was hurt. I couldn’t take back the things I’d done to hurt them in return. But I could try and be as brave as he was being and not give up.
Slowly and carefully I leaned my head over until it rested against his shoulder. He seemed to be holding his breath but then leaned his head over so that it barely rested on mine and then even more slowly he turned his face and kissed me near my ear. “I’m … I’m sorry I messed up,” he whispered into my hair.
“I’m sorry that I went nuts over it,” I whispered back.
I shuddered, some of the things I’d done and said coming back to me. “Easy,” he said. “It’s OK.”
“No it’s not Jax. This isn’t the kind of thing that can be swept under a rug. For a lot of reasons.”
He told me, “We’ll deal with it.”
“How? How can I expect anyone to …”
Both Jax and I jumped when Johnson said, “About that … I … uh … just got really reamed out by Janice, Alexis, and Ginger so … you know …” He’d stuck his head in the door but decided to follow it the rest of the way into the room where it was warmer. He shut the door and started again. “Let’s just call it even and move forward. We made a mistake. So maybe I hate Matt more than I realized and was looking for a reason to hate him some more because it feels good; at least that is what Janice said. Maybe … I don’t know, Reggie brought this up … maybe part of Matt’s game plan is to turn us against each other. He’s apparently pretty good at it. If that’s it he can go pound sand. If … if we … uh … still have a place to stay we should stay a team just to hack him off if nothing else.”
Jax looked at me and I sighed tiredly. “What do you expect me to do? Kick you guys out in the middle of winter with no place to go and no food? That’s as close as it gets to murder without pulling the trigger. You still think I’m that bad a person?”
“Not … uh … not really. But I wouldn’t be surprised if you maybe wanted to.”
“Well I don’t want to so there. Just … just …” It was too much. I shivered again.
Jax said, “Take off Johnson. And keep everyone else from bothering her too. I’m going to take her up to our room and I’ll be down later to talk things out.”
After Johnson had left I said, “You don’t need to do that. I made the mess, I’ll …”
“The mess was made by everyone. Too many missteps. Too many assumptions. We haven’t been thinking things through right. We’ve been reacting and that’s about it. We’ve paid a price for it. It doesn’t matter whether Matt set us up somehow or if we are doing it to ourselves, it’s time for this crap to stop. Now I want you to let me do for you, give you one of them cups of tea you take when you have a headache. Then I want you to rest. We’ll have to get back at this tomorrow but for tonight just do as I ask.”
Trying for his sake to offer a small smile but failing miserably I asked, “Doctor’s orders?”
“No. I’m no doctor. But I care about you Lydie … love you more than I know how to show you. Just for tonight let me pretend I can protect you the way I mean to. Let me take care of you and tell everyone else they can go to Hades for a while.”
Sighing in relief that I wouldn’t have to face anyone for a while and beginning to feel that maybe the whole world wasn’t going to come to an end after all I said, “OK. I think I can handle that.”