The Geek Shall Inherit the Earth

Kathy in FL

Administrator
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This is a story that I started but never finished. It won't go near as fast as Fel By the Wayside did but it is in the best shape to be the next story to post here. Little different outlook on things from some of my other stories.

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The Geek Shall Inherit the Earth


Part One: Getting With the Program (or The Prologue)
(part 1 of 3)


Once upon a time the Pretty People ruled the world. Don’t believe me? Well, maybe you don’t if you’ve only made it to you Extended-Study or Apprenticeship years. But if you are closer to my age you should, though it is probably buried deep down with the rest of the sweetly painful memories of “Before.”

For those of you who don’t remember, you might be surprised that some of the stories from Before that your community elders have probably terrorized you with are actually based in fact. In the Before, the way you looked was important. Your hair, your shape, your skin, the way you talked and how you dressed could close and open the doors of opportunity fast … especially if you knew other pretty people who were willing to help you along. That was what “networking” used to mean, very different from what it means today. In good times networking was easy but in the bad times looking good and being pretty was even more important because there were fewer prizes being competed for by an ever greater number of people. It wasn’t so much what you knew but who you knew … unless it was what you knew about who you knew if you catch my drift.

Because of this, and because a lot of people had rather out of sync priorities, the plastic surgery industry was one of the few recession proof markets out there and not just because it was being supported by a bunch of children of rich people whose IQ points seemed to drop in direct proportion to their available line of credit. Nope. Even your normal Joe and Jane Average types used a lot of their discretionary income to “fix themselves up.” If it wasn’t plastic surgery it was the latest diet fade, hair care product, wrinkle and spot remover, and/or memberships at a gym where a buff personal trainer had to work you twice as hard to get a sweat up because the whole building was air conditioned for comfort.

And it was everywhere. What was called the United States of America had its share of course and there were the ever increasing number of cases of diet fade and/or surgery-addictions … yeah, that’s what they called it, “an addiction” … but at least they paid lip service to the fact that a fixation on your looks was unhealthy. They had all sorts of “rules” about how old someone could be to have surgery and the types of licenses the surgeon was required to have. There were supposed to be real reasons why a ten year old needed liposuction or a seven year old needed rhinoplasty done. But the rules didn’t always apply to everyone. Search out the right doctor and pay enough money and you could have anything you wanted … or look anyway your parents wanted you to look. After all pretty people had pretty children, or at least that was the way the fairy tales told it.

And if you couldn’t get it here you could go to places called Rio de Janeiro, New Delhi, or Sao Paolo and get it done cheaper. Look on the old maps and you’ll find where these places were located back then. In some countries the plastic surgery industry was actually a significant part of their GDP (gross domestic product). The USofA was the top of five for “aesthetic procedures” worldwide; just under eighteen percent of all of the procedures done per year. Naturally, we had that place I’m sure everyone has heard about called Old Hollywood; and, all of the fixations of the advertising industry and the gotta-be-the-best-gotta-have-all-the-advantages attitude that still ran pretty strong even though we were slipping in global influence. There were too many “pretties” feeling guilty for ruling the world and too many “mental uglies” determined to make sure that the “pretties” paid for their elitist superiority regardless of how that affected the rest of us.

When Brazil was still an independent country it came in next in that worldwide measurement at nearly fifteen percent. Next came China of all places at thirteen percent; I never did understand that one. They aren’t much different today socially than they were back then though their population centers have all collapsed. I guess all of that communist equality stuff really didn’t address people’s hearts and minds like they claimed back then. And they sure as heck denied the existence of a soul; if possible even more so than they do today. Then India, which currently holds the highest number of seats in the Indo-Subcontinent Council, was once a completely independent republic and followed the trend with eight percent of the global “aesthetic procedures. And Mexico – part of the wasteland that is now called the Corredor de la Droga – had five percent of that market.

Crazy? I thought so then and still do even though things have changed so much. But I don’t know as I haven’t begun to feel really sorry for all of those pretty people now, not that many of them survived the transition years. Plastic surgery had its place obviously; physical trauma of some type, repairing cleft palates and other birth defects to provide a better quality of life, reconstructive surgery after tumor removal or wound repair. I’m not one that categorically considers plastic surgery “deviant” no matter what some members of the New Congress try to say; but plastic surgery for simple aesthetics has a bad habit of needing to be redone after so many years which has put the artificial pretties at a social and economic disadvantage once people recognize the social group they once belonged to.

There aren’t that many left anymore. The Research and Implementation Branch of the government has managed to overcome a lot of the damage suffered after the Before, but life expectancy is still way down for most Geo Areas. And depending on your health care history you can be put on a triage care list that lowers your life expectancy even more.

Aesthetic procedures are right up there with working in the wastelands for getting you kicked back to the end of the line for all but the most basic palliative care. The decisions of the Life Review Panels don’t always make sense. Plug in some data, insert you ID card, and an unemotional computer lets you know what you qualify for and specific reasons why you get denied access to certain types of activities and/or medical care. Even the air-quality in all of the resident zones that you have lived in are taken into account.

Aesthetic procedures have had a much different impact on people’s lives than they could have ever anticipated. In the Before there were the temporary fixes like Botox – gag, I never did understand shooting botulism into yourself to freeze your muscles – or that stuff they would shoot into lips to make them look puffy and kissable and sometimes just came out looking like a salmon that had run face first into a dam. I won’t cover what it was supposed to do when the same stuff was shot into buttocks. Then of course you had the people that wanted to look younger with their nips, tucks and lifts.

But the looking younger or “prettier” only lasted for a few years because eventually the aging process caught up, sometimes with disastrous results; asymmetrical aging, paper thin skin that had lost all of its natural elasticity, implants or tattoos that migrated at the whim of gravity. Today the aging of enhanced features is a social stigma with broad consequences. I heard on the Tri-V the other day that they’d finally signed a law giving the remaining “pretties” their own reservation out in the middle of the Mid-Wasteland Zone. I’d like to say that I’m a big enough person that I don’t get any satisfaction from that … I’d like to say it but in all honesty sometimes my humanity gets in the way of my compassion and it’s like I’m sixteen all over again, on the outside looking in. The irony in that doesn’t escape me.

But I’m completely getting off the subject of why I started writing this history down. I was at the town library today and some of the new in-print books had arrived. They cost the town a considerable amount of creds … ebooks and readers are much less expensive and are more in line with current Envirospace building codes … but the town committee thought it worth the price when someone suggested it might draw some pass-through tourism by riders waiting for a connection at the light rail station that was built out at what I remember as the old municipal airport.

I have to admit I was just as interested as all the rest and it gave me an excuse to push my normal schedule up a week. I’ve collected and read every book I have been able to get my hands on over the years – not that I’ve actually advertised that fact to the townies – but the chance to see something that was written and paper-published since the Transition Years was a temptation I had no intention of fighting.

It took me longer than I had intended to get there, I threw a track on the kettengrad which is the only vehicle I’ll drive to town, and my bursitis was acting up again. Once I finally put a foot in the door I didn’t think I was going to get near the printed novelties until I realized that mostly it was just the graphic novels everyone was waiting their turn to see with their vivid colors that were magnified even more by being on the smooth white pages.

I’d never been much for graphic novels. They were OK but I could never decide whether it was the artwork that got in the way of the story or the story that got in the way of the artwork. I was going to leave disappointed when I noticed a couple of books all but being ignored after a brief glance by most of the other patrons. Turned out they didn’t have any pictures in them at all. The title of the one that really drew me was This New World, I thought at first it was a science fiction/fantasy novel.

It was fiction and fantasy all right but it wasn’t meant to be taken that way. It was a history book co-written by a retired member of the New Congress and some up and comer that had taken his place. What a bag of methane; after only the briefest of looks I realized they are already rewriting history. I suppose it was inevitable; the winners always write the history books and I’d already noticed it popping up here and there in the few Tri-V shows I bother to watch, but it did surprise me how quickly and brazenly they are now doing it. So much for the “truth in advertising” brigade that was trotted out a couple of years ago. The bibliography and notes had so few credible sources that I told the Head Librarian (and everyone within earshot) that they had wasted town money and the book would do more good as compost.

A bright “I’ll make sure and put a note of that for everyone’s information” met my words by some silly bit of fluff that was manning the card catalog. Of course as an Elder they have to at least pretend to listen to me but too many of the young people only pay lip service to our experience these days. I left a message for the full Elder Council before I came home but it was only to warn them not to read the book unless they wanted to risk being admitted to extended care after a heart attack.

A lot of us still remember. A lot of us still have old hurts that are still hard to leave forgotten though for the most part we’ve tried to forgive so that we can get on with the act of living. But it worries me that without clear eyes and vision we’ll be doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past. After all, if you don’t know where you come from, how do you know where you’re going?

I’m far from being the oldest Elder on the Council. In fact most of them consider me a “young ‘un” yet and I was only invited because of how things had turned out. Looking in the mirror never bothered me but I have to admit I know I look older than my grandmother did at this age. In truth I’m not so old that I should be thinking of writing my memoirs but if things keep going the way that book seemed to indicate too many things that should be remembered will be forgotten by too many. I just want make sure that my own story, my little piece of history, doesn’t just fade away for lack of me putting it into words before I’m gone. And it will be on paper, electronic files are too easily deleted or damaged these days.
 

Kathy in FL

Administrator
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Part One: Prologue
Part 2 of 3


As you can probably guess I wasn’t one of the pretty people. Oh no one called me a hag and even if they had my own psyche was free of the stuff that turned kids to anorexia and bulimia or cutting or whatever else it was they did to try and take back some control. On the other hand I was under no illusions that I’d ever give Snow White, Cinderella, or Princess Aurora a run for their money and I was OK with that.

Where I grew up class distinction was still alive and well but it was never openly acknowledged except by us kids. The two primary groups were the “Pretties” and the … well, lots of derogatory words were used but I’ll just call the second group the “Not Pretties.” Under both of these groups existed subcultures … jocks, geeks, Goths, gamers, druggies, rednecks, blue bloods, rich, poor, “good girls,” “bad boys” … just about anything you found in the adult world you could find its doppelganger in the adolescent social circles.

All you had to do was look around as you were walking down the halls between classes and you’d find just about every stereotype ever portrayed in any teen entertainment flick in history; and most of the kids lived in just as big a fantasy world. Verbal altercations over whether Katniss should have wound up with Gale or Peeta were fairly common. And before that they argued over whether Hermione would wind up with Harry or with Ron. For a while there you could find even the most level headed girls arguing about Edward vs. Jacob … like vampires and werewolves really existed. I never got it. Sure, the books were kind of entertaining but they were fiction; to me real people was ten times more interesting than those make believe characters.

The invisible lines were drawn early in life and rarely did a person escape their label after entering middle school. But not everyone conformed to these make believe classes of people any more than people had at any time in history. I was a born nonconformist. Not in a militant sense by any stretch, I actually liked rules and regulations and knowing who was in charge and how the game was supposed to be played. But I was a social nonconformist and that wasn’t always appreciated. Only the cynicism and the weird sense of humor that I my father had genetically imprinted me with helped me to survive those years with my feelings mostly intact.

One of the biggest complaints that seemed to relegate me to having lots of acquaintances but few really good friends was that people had a hard time pegging me into a hole. My parents were well liked but not well off. I had my own car; not as a gift from my parents but because I worked like a dog to get it. I could dance, sing, draw, and play an instrument but wasn’t invested in the arts enough to care anything about being in band, choir, or the art club. I was a good girl but every jock and bad boy in school made it a point to stay in my good graces. Like Aston Rogers, one of the linebackers on our school football team said, it wasn’t my looks or charming personality, it was the free tutoring I’d given nearly all of them at one time or another. I was a geek that could hold my own in the chess club, AV club, and in the computer lab … but my normal weekend occupations had me outside getting a healthy tan and building muscles rather than sitting in front of a gaming console. I’ll admit I kind of wallowed in what I considered my uniqueness a bit. I had a superiority complex like most of the kids my age and predilection; it took some major heartache before I came to understand that my non-conformity was just a mask for an unhealthy dose of arrogance.

Despite the latent arrogance I was a normal kid and my family was pretty normal as well. Oh, my folks had their quirks but I don’t think a kid has ever lived that hasn’t viewed at least some of the stuff their parents did a little cross-eyed.

My mom was a “pretty.” The difference was that she was naturally beautiful both inside and out and I’m not just saying that because she was my mother. Supposedly I looked like her but I never did manage to measure up to her measurements if you catch my drift. I took after her in coloring and in my facial features but the rest of me was built more like my grandmothers and their mothers; sturdy like a Tennessee mule. I guess that’s the kind of women that my grandfathers and great grandfathers liked though because they had enough kids between ‘em to make it seem like I was a cousin either by birth or marriage to just about every family in the tri-county area. I once heard my father say that it was a wonder there weren’t two-headed, six-toed kids in every classroom at County Consolidated.

My dad was good looking too but he’d come into it only after he’d matured a bit … like fine wine or smooth whiskey. He wasn’t real tall so he couldn’t be one of the highest ranking pretty people but he had dark, wavy hair, a manly build and these incredible eyes that made him a real target for female attention. He never let it go to his head though because in high school he’d been just as geeky looking as you could get and still be a good ol’ boy. He said that kept him grounded and by then he and Mom were sweethearts on their way to wedded bliss before Mom was even out of high school. Yeah, I know, sounds weird but life was different then and my immediate family was considered kind of backwards anyway.

My Dad came from a family that were farmers, didn’t have a lot of money, and because of that college just wasn’t in the cards for him despite the fact that he used to read the encyclopedia for pleasure and win all sorts of oratory awards in school. Mom … I loved her but I have to be honest … she was clever and talented in her own way - could do all sorts of needlework, could cook like a dream, and she could look at a plant and it would beg to do her bidding - but she wasn’t exactly into the academic thing. Dad had to help her finish high school; she just didn’t have the ambition for it. All she wanted was a home of her own and a man of her own that would help her get it. Dad was more than happy to be that guy.

Mom’s family were farmers too. Dad lived with his grandparents and their farm was next door to Mom’s parents’ farm. Dad used to say that Granddaddy kept the meanest bulls in the pasture between the two farms just so he would have to walk all the way up the road, down the highway, and then back up Mom’s road to go courting her. Granddaddy was the kind of guy that used to say anything worth having is worth working for and I have a feeling Dad was right … ‘cause Granddaddy could be all shades of mischievous.

Here’s the thing though, despite our family’s background and what most people would think that would lead to, Dad had expectations of me beyond being one of the next generation of farmers. Maybe even because of that his expectations were higher, or maybe he was planning on living the college life vicariously through me. Don’t care either way; all I ever cared about back then was making my dad proud. He was happy that I looked like Mom but he once told me in an unguarded moment that he was happier that I’d gotten his brains.

My dad, despite the lack of higher education (or maybe because of it) was a smart man. He’d seen the economic writing on the wall and even lived it. I was too young to remember when my great grandparents passed away and the farm was chopped up into all these smaller chunks by their kids leaving my Dad out except for the original farmhouse way on the backside of the back forty. But I do remember when Granddaddy lost his farm and everything had to be auctioned off. My maternal grandmother died before I was born – Mom claimed she died of a broken heart because my uncle was killed in action during some skirmish or other during one of the Gulf Wars – and Granddaddy lived less than a year after losing the farm; he just gave up after his reason for living was gone.

Those two incidents and what came out in the wills and probate split the family on both sides. I mean there was blame enough to go around but bad things happen to good people and that wasn’t a good enough reason to cause all of the rifts that happened. As a result most of my aunts and uncles on both sides had moved out of the area by the time I started high school. They wanted more than what the area could offer I guess and sold their bit of the land to people who were trying to escape the big city only to watch the homes they built fall to foreclosure within a few years. All of those little plots of land that used to make up one of the bigger farms out on that end of the highway just went to seed leaving rotting McMansions that could never find new owners. This left an ugly mark on the once beautiful landscape. Have had some of those silly archaeologists out since then wanting to dig around but the only thing left is the foundations, if that, and I’ve told them more than a few times to shoo and go find something more interesting and useful to use their grants on.

I was raised in the farmhouse that Dad inherited, the one he himself grew up in. Mom kept a huge garden but there wasn’t enough land around it to really do much more than grow enough for our own needs during the year and a little bit to donate to the church pantry. We could have farmed more intensively, and my parents had plans to do that, but during their lifetime it never quite happened.

Dad had to work in town at the mill to pay taxes and insurance and provide all the stuff that you have to have when you have a wife and kids to take care of. And admittedly Dad liked his toys … electronic gear out the whazoo, his big ol’ diesel truck, and his obnoxiously orange Kabota tractor with all its handy-dandy implements. And his hobbies took a chunk of the budget too like all of that solar stuff he and I used to build … the solar powered water fountain in Mom’s herb garden was probably the most useless in the long run but that was made up for by all of the other stuff we did. Dad was kind of funny by standards back in the later days of the Before; he never bought stuff unless he had cash in hand to pay for it; I think he and my Mom had one cred card (called a “credit card” back then) between them and the only time that got used was in an absolute emergency.

Dad was even “stranger” when it came to owing people money. Painted onto the plaster above our front door in our entry way were the words “Neither a Borrower nor Lender Be.” All the big appliances in our house were natural gas because Dad could buy the gas and own it free and clear. Doctor bills were about the only thing he would consent to pay in installments and that’s because he didn’t have much choice which irked him immensely. And oh boy did my Dad hate the utility companies … he hated them worse than the tax collector and that was saying something.

We got all of our water from two wells; one residential and one agricultural. And before I entered middle school Dad had disconnected the house from the electric lines. To avoid temptation he cut the wires from the house, removed the electric dog house conduit on the roof, and started a campaign to have the Electric co-op remove all of the poles between our house and the public road. His running battle with the guy that ran the electric co-op is how we got on a serious kick with the solar power.

We didn’t use any electricity we didn’t generate ourselves but the co-op still got a piece of us through property taxes. When I was in middle school Dad got so mad one time because they were trying to force him to pay some really large charge for cost of fuel increases that he literally went out and cut down all of the utility poles from the front of our property back to the house. There was a lot of screaming and hollering that day that’s for sure. They threatened to prosecute Dad for what he did but he said he’d sent them registered letter after registered letter to get their poles and equipment off of his property and they’d failed to do so, so legally it was abandoned property.

People had a hard time deciding whether to laugh at Dad’s behavior or be jealous he was doing something they’d always wanted to do. In the end the county lawyers didn’t want to take a chance of losing in court since we could prove we hadn’t used any electricity from them in over a year so all they threatened to do was charge us some outrageous amount if we ever wanted the electric re-installed.

My dad of course said they could shove it and that was the official end of that and because we didn’t have any of the co-op’s equipment within our boundaries we got a tax exemption which basically added insult to injury in the eyes of the co-op management.

One thing was for sure, the cost of fuel we did use was hard on the family budget and using a generator to run everything that wasn’t propane or purchased natural gas wasn’t working so dad grabbed all of the extra shifts he could get … he was one of their head fixer guys so it wasn’t that hard to do … and put some big money into making the farmhouse as non-commercial fuel dependent as possible. He even started cooking his own biodiesel for the tractor and to keep the generator topped up so it could run when the sun went away long enough to deplete all of the batteries we stored in the shed he called the battery shack. And he made his own charcoal for running this old timey steam engine sort of thing he got at an estate auction two counties over.

So my mom and dad may have looked like the pretty people but they lived more like geeks. They weren’t the eco-freak kind of geeks though, more like I can invent or build what I need to get out from under Big Brother kind of geeks. They just … I guess you could say my dad could work and play well with others up to a point but he did like his independence enough that it sometimes held him back from getting a promotion at the mill and stuff like that. Friends called him eccentric; what his enemies called him would not be polite to immortalize in print.

Mom didn’t care either way about what she considered to be Dad’s hobbies. All she wanted was for everything to turn on and off when she wanted it to. The lack of promotions or membership in the country club didn’t faze her either. She didn’t care about designer labels because she made all of our clothes and she’d just as soon shop at the Mennonite store or the discount barn as get caught dead at the big mall off the interstate one county over. Dad used to joke around and call her a reverse snob but not often because the comment mostly just flew over her head.

Dad and I used to get a chuckle over some of the things that Mom would do or say but it was never meant mean spiritedly. Just as soon as we explained what we were laughing at Mom would often join us in a good giggle at herself, she was just that grounded and self-assured. I can remember one day I’d been conjugating Spanish verbs at the kitchen table and making up sentences. Dad, who’d been forced to learn Spanish because of where some of the mill’s machinery came from, was helping me while Mom was washing dishes at the sink.

Suddenly she turned to me and asked in her deep southern drawl, “Lydie, what on earth is a moo-hair.”

It was a good five seconds before it clicked. Dad and I were laughing so hard we were choking on our spit and had tears rolling down our faces. I suppose you really needed to be there to get it but things like that happened pretty regular. When we could finally draw a deep enough breath to explain that it wasn’t “moo hair” but “mujer” for woman, all she did was roll her eyes and give a chuckle and say, “Well, for Heaven’s sake, it wasn’t that funny.”

On the other hand, contrary to me my little brother was a pretty person straight out of the chute. People were constantly telling Mom she should enter his pictures in photo contests right from the time he was a baby. He had Dad’s eyes, the same as I did, but they were surrounded by lashes longer and thicker than mine and I don’t think he ever went through an awkward phase after he learned to walk and talk … and boy could he talk. He could wrap our parents around his little finger and just about everyone else too. He wasn’t a bad kid, there just weren’t that many things he ever had to work very hard at. He was smart, good looking, and on top of that he was a jock since he’d never met a piece of sports equipment he didn’t like.

I loved Will like only a big sister can love a little brother and I think he loved me back because I was about the only person he couldn’t manipulate. Every so often even pretty people want to hear the truth without any embellishments. I kept him grounded I guess you could say while he kept me plugged in. And he did have a sweet nature (for a kid that was 200% boy) so he wasn’t a total brat. In that respect he took after Mom as much as I took after Dad.

Then one day he got sick and he never got to finish getting better. He might have if he’d been given the chance. Childhood leukemia had one of the highest cancer survival rates of all the bad stuff that can happen to kids back then.

On top of it all, when Will got sick it seemed the whole world seemed to start falling apart. Right after we got the initial diagnosis the folks over in the Middle East decided to take their ball and go home since no one wanted to play by their rules. Well, that’s not exactly a good metaphor for what they did but it was for their general attitude. They just stopped selling their oil to any country that wasn’t an Islamic Theocracy … or what became known as IT countries in the media. The IT’s thought they had the world by the gonads but it became apparent real fast that the IT countries couldn’t even get along with each other. No sell the oil, no fund the rich families. If the rich families no have money then no funds for the Islamic extremist groups and these groups started feeding on their own people. They also found out that all of the IT countries combined couldn’t absorb enough of the oil to keep their economies going which reinitiated the clan and sect warfare that had temporarily ceased … WMDs like chemical and biological weapons were unleashed on ethnic groups left and right, reports of genocide became almost a daily fact of life, and on and on while the religious leaders did nothing but fuss and posture so they could claim the title of most pious. Of course it is more complicated than that but if you want all the details study your history lessons or go to the museums. I’m telling my story not theirs.

While this was going on the rest of the world mostly sat back and watched for a while because with very few exceptions no one was doing too well. The countries that had their own oil sources got a little greedy but many of those places didn’t have leaders strong enough (or mentally stable enough) to keep their country safe from invasion. Then it started.

Russia re-absorbed most of the former Soviet bloc territories … or at least their resources. Venezuela withstood pressure for a while but the little putz that ran the country for so long had burned so many bridges that when he was brutally slain in a coup d’état nobody grieved very much if at all. The only really sane countries left with reserves sufficient to at least temporarily keep their countries from falling into the Dark Ages were the US and Canada and that wasn’t saying a whole lot.

Then some loony tune over in the Middle East used the nuclear option and all bets were off. It didn’t take long for World War III to be officially declared though the US refused to do much more than defend our own shores and protectorates. Too many times in the last few decades our country was burdened with leaders that kept calling every fight “unwinnable” or “criminal” and this time was no exception. Everyone was saying that our leadership had their private parts locked up and held for ransom … a crude but nauseatingly apt metaphor. Certainly none of what they did seemed to jive with the heroic history of our country’s past.

The government even stopped accepting recruits for the military calling it a matter of “economic feasibility.” Lunacy. A lot of people were saying that the government types were afraid of the same coup d’état as what was experienced in Venezuela would happen here. I can remember Dad saying there was definitely some reason for their fear.

As a result of everything going on there was massive shortages and where there wasn’t a shortage there was either massive deflation or massive inflation depending on the market. Real estate became problematic again after finally bottoming out. How bad it became depended on location and available resources. For instance, communities that got most of their power from dams or from nuclear power plants did OK, not great but they were surviving because people wanted to move there and live. Communities like where I lived that were primarily dependent on fossil fuels. People were leaving the area in droves to get someplace where they could turn on a tap or light switch and be able to count on it working. Communities that were completely dependent on buying their power from other communities totally fell apart and dealt with a significant amount of civil unrest.

Food was an area experiencing hyperinflation, but again it primarily depended on where the communities got their utilities … or more accurately where the processing plants and food mills got their power from and how far away the products had to travel to reach the grocer’s shelves. The mega-farms were given priority for fuel despite tight rationing so food was still available, it just wasn’t available in wide variety or all of the time. As a result of that everyone seemed to be growing something, but the fertilizers and pest control products that had encouraged huge yields in the past were too expensive for most people to purchase and even the mega-farms had to ration their use lowering crop production significantly.

And the last part of the puzzle of whether an area imploded or not came from whether they had access to good water and good sewage disposal. Municipalities for the most part did keep the water going, but the water quality and pressure fell a great deal. And the sewage plants were backed up … no pun intended.

My family managed because of the lifestyle my parents had chosen for us years before. Mom had always baked our bread and pretty much preferred to cook from scratch. It had nothing to do with being frugal and everything to do with the way Mom thought. One of the few things that Mom was hardcore about was cooking and sewing so everything she had and did with respect to those two things had to be the best. It was part of her self-image I guess. And because Dad was a sucker for whatever Mom wanted he bought all the whole grains she wanted at a discount from the grain elevators directly; occasionally he’d get a good deal on some partial lots of specialty grains at the mill. She had all these grinders and other kitchen gadgets half of which at the time I didn’t know what they were for.

So when things started getting tough at the grocery store we didn’t feel it at first because Mom would just switch to using stuff she could grow or had preserved herself. Although I have to say that at the time I didn’t appreciate having every spare moment I had away from school and work being put into juicing and canning fruit, helping Dad expand the root cellar and build an extra solar cooler, or prepping foods so they could go in the solar dehydrators that Dad had built to help Mom keep up with the larger garden she had been keeping the last couple of years.

I know I sound like an ingrate and a real brat but the fact of the matter was that I was just a teenager and I was tired of all the gloom and doom. I saw we were doing OK at home so it didn’t really penetrate my awareness as to how bad things were out in the world and even down the street. The school board decided to keep us insulated so our little psyches wouldn’t suddenly turn psycho and a lot of parents agreed with their tactics. I wasn’t completely oblivious but my reaction was muted by the care my parents provided in our home. Not being completely oblivious isn’t the same thing as sitting up and taking notice. I knew just enough to realize the world was in the midst of a pendulum swing but not enough to be scared of how far it had already swung or how far it would eventually swing.

In school I was the second smartest person if judged based on GPA. I won’t say I wasn’t more than a little proud of that; I felt I had places to go and things to do in my life and they didn’t involve living at the farmhouse until I was old and gray. I considered the way my parents chose to live like some kind of cute aberration, something I would one day grow up and leave behind when I went to university and then went to work out in the “real world.” In other words I was about like any other teenager and despite my opinion to the contrary I didn’t really have a clue what “real life” was all about.

I’m not bragging about being the second smartest kid in the high school, it just turned out that way. I was a really great test taker and luckily for me I actually understood and retained what I was being tested on despite being a product of a poor public school district. My Dad demanded no less and face it, most girls want their father’s approval and I saw my grades as a way to do that. I got plenty of reinforcement that it was true – that grades mattered – but I was also blessed enough to know that my parents would have loved me even if I was a mediocre student or even worse, which in a perverse way only made me want to please them academically even more.

Who was the smartest kid in school, the one with the highest GPA? That would have been Matt Lewiston; yeah, that guy in the history books. Believe it or not Matt and I had been paired up since we were kids despite our differences. What could be cuter than two geeky kids as sweet hearts right? Quite a few people thought it was a natural outcome so we lived up to their expectations without really putting much thought into it.

As it turned out Matt and I were both smart but academics was about the only similarities that we shared. It was a long time before I understood what those differences really meant.

Matt, well I guess you could say he was my boyfriend. We didn’t really date exactly. Matt didn’t have a car and my Dad, for all that he tolerated Matt pretty well and admired his academic standing, didn’t exactly have a lot of respect for the boy who was “chatting up” his daughter. Matt was … well, Matt was what you would call non-athletic. He also wasn’t much into the school spirit thing so if I wanted to go to a football game or dance I went stag or with friends. In fact, Matt wasn’t into much that didn’t involve getting into his first choice school MIT. Looking back I can see that Matt was so focused on academics that he was stunted in other areas, but to be honest that wasn’t the only reason he was stunted.

His parents were … well they were a nightmare in my opinion. His dad was an engineer employed by the TVA and traveled all over the state doing some important stuff that I usually just zoned out about when he started expounding. My Dad thought Matt’s dad was a donkey’s behind and I could tell he wasn’t far off the mark even when I was younger. His mom was a former beauty queen who was, to put it bluntly, subconsciously horrified by the geeky kid she’d given birth to. You wouldn’t have known it though if you hadn’t been around the family much. Matt’s mom did try to be a good parent but she was just so wrapped up in Matt’s two older sister’s lives and in the line of beauty products she always seemed to be hawking that he just sort of fell through the cracks at home. The only thing she ever bragged on was the fact that Matt was going to be an engineer just like his father.

Matt and his dad had a lot in common, they were both geeks extraordinaire … I mean the pocket protector wearing, laptop carrying, Segway riding kind of geeks. If you don’t know what a Segway is, look it up; I know they look like ancient toys but at one time they were the epitome of the geek elite. Matt and his dad were the kind of geeks that hung framed posters of Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Einstein in the basement beside the shelf with the three different gaming stations all hooked up to a 56” LD HDTV, who had x-tremegeek.com as an application on their iPhones (kind of an early version of the current tablet communicators that have become common), and who viewed the movie Revenge of the Nerds as an instruction manual on how to survive college life. And no, I will not give a synopsis of that movie. Look it up … likely if you are reading this you are going to have to do a lot of that anyway to understand what Before was like.

Matt and his father, as you’ve no doubt learned in history class or watching biographies on the tri-v, were the archetypal geek if ever there was one. But Mr. Lewiston had one advantage that many geeks did not; he came from a very wealthy family and as a result Mrs. Lewiston – a role model of a “pretty” if ever there was one – overlooked his geekness in the interest of a comfortable life. She was known as a trophy wife and very good at her job.

Despite his beginnings I always through Matt was a solid, regular person. He and I had been friends our whole lives and I thought I understood him. We tolerated each other’s parents out of simple consideration. He never did understand how or why my family worked or why my brother and I got along - his sisters were total cats (a descriptive term apropos in more ways than one) - and maybe that was the first inkling I had that our differences were greater than our similarities.

It was raining the day my life diverged from the firm path I had thought it was on; I can remember that clearly. What happened was instead of just Dad dropping me off at school as usual it was the whole clan because they were taking Will to Nashville to get the results of the latest round of blood work. I didn’t even mind arriving to school in Mom’s old Malibu with the headliner that was constantly falling down. We were all pretty excited because Will was looking better than he had in a year; the swelling from the steroids was gone and even his hair had grown back. About mid-morning I asked to be excused and Mr. Sweely our biology teacher gave me a pass as he understood what I was going to do, giving me a thumbs up in support. I went to the office – you had to or they’d confiscate your cell phone – and showed my note and then called my parents.

Everyone in the office waited with baited breath and then cheered with me when I did the happy dance. Will was only two years younger than me, well-liked even by the teachers, and our story was common knowledge. His blood work came back and they said he appeared to be in remission. My parents said they were going to be stuck at the hospital for a while longer doing some follow up and I’d have to ride the bus home but I didn’t care, our prayers had been answered and life was good.

I was walking on cloud nine, not even the cafeteria food could bring me down so I didn’t think anything of it when I got called to the office again later in the day. When I walked in you could tell that something was out of sync. Mrs. Meachum, the girls’ dean was waiting for me at the door and started ushering me into her office but my eyes were caught by the TV that was set to CNN … something unheard of during the school day … and there was fire and smoke coming out of what was left of this vaguely familiar structure … and then along the bottom of the screen came the words Suicide Bomber Attacks Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville.

The rest of that day and the next couple was a blur I prefer not to dredge up in memory. I think what made it all worse was that a lot of people avoided me as if what had happened to my family was communicable or something. Hundreds of people died that day, not just my family; it was plastered on the news all over the world. People from all over the world sent their condolences. There was a big memorial planned and my parents’ and brother’s names appeared on some plaque eventually erected on the spot. I received cards and letters (via a special program set up by some charity) from people that I’d never heard from as far away as Singapore, Malta, and Taiwan. I got sympathy from people closer to home as well.

People in my community felt bad as well and several churches even sent workers to the relief effort, but I was the one that took it off the TV and brought it into their living rooms. It didn’t just happen to someone else in some other place … it had happened to three of their own. And for that reality check, for making them acknowledge the worst this world can do, a lot of people couldn’t forgive me.
 

SheWoff

Southern by choice
Yippeee! Mother Hen strikes again! This one looks to be a real good one too, and hopefully...a long one. :) Can we have some moar please?


She
 

Kathy in FL

Administrator
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Prologue Part 3 of 3

In my family all the aunts and uncles came and squabbled a bit … everyone wanted a say in what happened to me but no one was really prepared to take full responsibility for me. Some of it was the notoriety; news crews wouldn’t leave me alone for a couple of weeks. Some of it was a matter of simple economics. Then I got an idea after overhearing old Judge Lackey at my parents’ wake, yet another shirt tail cousin of some type, telling a story of a young man who was seeking his emancipation. That night I looked it up and read everything I could find and decided that that was what I wanted too. After the will was read and everyone realized just how small my parents’ estate was I approached all of those adults with my request for legal emancipation.

Oh sure, they hemmed and hawed and their guilt kicked in but in the end it was a lot easier to persuade them than I could have hoped. It’s not that they didn’t love me, but I was a bit of an odd duck, like Dad, and the economy didn’t actually leave any of them the extra creds to afford an unexpected mouth at their table. The usual rationalizations were given … I’d be able to remain in familiar surroundings, I’d still be close to the small private college that had already accepted me as a dual enrolled student, I wouldn’t have to leave my church and friends, blah, blah, freaking blah. And in my head I was thinking, “And isn’t it nice that none of your lives will be turned upside down by the addition of a grieving teenage girl?”

I know it was unfair to think like that as soon as the thoughts coalesced in my head but I’m trying to be honest here. I was angry and I wanted someone to pay for what happened to my family. The problem was that I only had false targets and eventually wound up cutting my nose off to spite my face … or in other words revictimizing myself rather than blaming those that deserved the blame.

Having a Judge for a cousin sped the process up immeasurably. The one thing I hadn’t thought about was that in addition to my refusal to shove my square personality into the round holes like people expected me to, no one could quite figure out if they were supposed to keep treating me like a kid or if I had suddenly jumped the line and become an adult.

The only person that seemed to treat me the same as they always had was Matt. He held me while I cried my eyes out and patted my back when he was clueless what else to do. We got closer but it was only by so much because suddenly his parents became leery of our relationship and how it might affect Matt’s future. I never acted out against Matt’s parents but more than a few times I am ashamed to admit that I wished it had been them that got buried in the hospital rubble and not my family. I had fantasies that had our positions been reversed my parents would have opened loving arms to Matt. At my age I can often laugh at the kid I was then, but sometimes I cringe as well.

Emancipation was both easier and harder than I had expected. I didn’t have any problem keeping track of money or outdoor chores, Dad had seen to that, and I could cook and do laundry and all of the other household chores because Mom had trained me well also. It was the loneliness of the empty house and the realization that I was on my own that made me miserable late at night when I had run out of things to do to keep from dwelling on how much my life had changed.

Life’s cruelty had left me a little harder and dealing with it had made me a whole lot smarter about the real world. Matt and a few of my geekiest friends were the only people that I let get close from that point forward but even with them I still felt set apart and different. Marty, her real name was Martinique but she hated it, would get on to me sometimes, “Ew Lydie, can you possibly get any more Goth?” She didn’t mean it in a hurtful way, she was just telling me that I was sliding off the deep end with the dressing in black and acting morose all the time.

Eventually I was able to smile and then laugh again, not that there was much to smile and laugh about. Terrorist attacks became almost commonplace, but they were primarily in the larger cities. Civil unrest broke out, but again it was mostly in the cities although even our county saw a small riot when food stamp roles were cut for the third time in as many months. Curfews, Citizen ID Cards, rationing, and road blocks became more common that dandelions in the spring. The economy was in the toilet and being flushed away but that didn’t matter too awful much because the whole world was suffering the same affliction. And WW3 continued to escalate slowly drawing the US ever deeper into the international conflict.

A lot of the boys (and girls for that matter) that had graduated the year ahead of me had been drafted as the US was slowly forced to enter the fray whether the powers that be were ready to or not and a lot of our graduating class had already received their letters to report to the draft board the day after our ceremony. Even Matt had gotten a letter though it was doubtful with his extreme allergies and asthma that he could pass the physical. I hadn’t gotten a letter. I was nearly an entire year younger than most of my class mates because of when my birthday was and because I’d started school a year early. It was still several months until I got close enough to eighteen that the government could risk calling me up … and I didn’t have any parental units that they could blackmail into signing an early entrance release either.

Matt was scared but he was going because his dad’s federal job was on the line. Marty was going because they basically said it was either show up at the draft board or the IRS would grab her family’s bank account and remaining assets to deal with the back taxes her parents owed on a now defunct business. You heard lots of stories like that: give us your kids … or else. Some people fought it but no one won because technically the government was always within their legal rights to do what they threatened.

Life wasn’t a big bowl of cherries for anyone but most people were getting by in some fashion or other. And then, for no apparent reason that I’ve ever been able to discern some tipping point was reached. Some microscopic speck of badness landed on the wrong side of the scale and everything went to heck in a hand basket real fast.

In a matter of just a few weeks life as we knew it came to an end. By that I mean a worldwide infrastructural collapse occurred. I saw pictures of London and Edinburgh, Rome, Paris, Moscow, Tehran, New York, Dallas, and Los Angeles and lots of the other megatropolises before we lost the television signal; it wasn’t tri-v back then, just plain ol’ two dimensional.

It only took a small number of the population to instigate the actions that eventually destroyed the large urban areas and from there it spread out into the suburbs and from there into the rural areas. The spreading out of the troubles took time but not especially long in the scheme of things when I look back. In our area some of the worst of it came in the form of family members returning to their ancestral roots in search of food and security. I kept wondering if any of my family would show up and I think in the beginning I would have welcomed them but for various reasons they never materialized.

Most of the people in the cities stayed in the cities, at least initially. But enough of them began to fan out in all directions that it didn’t take long for emergency services in any community within twenty-five to fifty miles of the edge of a major city to crumble as badly as the urban areas did. There were populations of people that had already lived a life of chaos … those immigrants that had come to the US to escape the very thing they were having to survive again.

The migrant and transient populations were the best equipped to handle life on the road and their destination was the rural area where they could scavenge off the land. These were the people that already knew the government wasn’t going to rescue them … or they didn’t want to be rescued in the first place … and they knew how to succeed with the flotsam most people considered useless. Plenty of farmers and backyard growers began to complain of people coming in the night and stripping sections of their fields. The road blocks did no good when people didn’t travel by road. And it was like fighting locusts; you could step on and kill some but for the most part there was simply too many of them.

For about three months after the last real television show went off the air for good the town’s population seemed to grow exponentially. People all over the county had added at least one more member and usually at least two or three. The Houchins’ farm down the highway from the entrance road to my house had fifth wheels and tents all over around the big house. It looked like a refugee camp but Grandpa Houchins the patriarch of the clan ran everything like a boot camp.

I would ride my bike over to the Houchins place for news when it was no longer possible for me to bike to town. I could have driven as much as I wanted, Dad’s truck ran on the biodiesel that I was still brewing as a matter of habit to give myself something to occupy my time, but it would have made me a target and at least I wasn’t so innocent that I didn’t know what that could mean for me personally. In fact I was a walking target only people didn’t know it because I knew how to hide it and keep my mouth shut. My whole house still ran pretty much as it always had but I hid it because even a porch light would have stood out like an oasis in the dessert and people would have gotten suspicious and jealous.

Matt and I still kept in touch by radio though we used a code we developed so that no one could figure out our locations and because of this not even Matt was aware of how well off I was out in the boonies. He actually felt sorry for me and tried to get me to move in with him and his mom … his father had disappeared early in the dog and pony show and Matt could never seem to decide between considering his father a hero who died in a terrorist attack at one of the TVA sites or a scum dog that had abandoned his family in their time of need. At least I knew where my Dad was, Matt didn’t and it affected him deeply though he threw up enough barriers that most people wouldn’t have even suspected it. To tell you the truth I was so lonely at one point that I almost asked Matt and his mom and sisters to come live with me but I just never could get up the nerve; the very idea seemed to give me the cold sweats. So we continued our relationship same as we always had, it was just a long distance one.

Matt and I weren’t the only ones using radio signals to reach out and touch someone. At the beginning of The Collapse the airwaves were so heavy with transmissions it was hard to find a clear signal to talk on. Over time that problem diminished significantly and after a few months the air waves seemed to belong to the few geeky individuals clever enough to keep their radios up and running. And a working radio became a symbol of power. A positive answer to the question, “You have a radio?!” could get the operator nearly anything he or she wanted. I should have wondered how Matt kept his radio running but I didn’t. Call Matt my blind spot. I’d already lost so much I didn’t want to recognize anything that might mean further losses.

Over time the radio transmissions eventually resolved themselves into a kind of communication network dedicated to the sharing of ideas for the purpose of preserving social order. The government presence was nonexistent. They were too busy protecting our borders and trying to keep from being eaten alive from the inside out. In fact the whole country was being eaten from the inside out at that point.

By the end of summer that year the worst of it – or at least the end of the beginning – was over. The whole world seemed to have turned back the clock a hundred years. In some places even further than that. Turfs were being carved out of the urban geography. Gangs of all flavors and nationalities took over pieces of the country and called it “theirs.” Our country may still have been called the United States but was operating more like a loose confederation of immigrant strongholds with what was left of our federal government acting as go betweens to try and stave off a full blown civil, religious, and ethnic war. Attrition due to catastrophic infrastructure failure was the only thing that kept it from actually happening.

I continued to pedal to the Houchins farm but I was starved for real friendship and camaraderie. I wanted my old friends, the ones that had stood by me when I needed them. And I was feeling guilty. The stories I heard, of hunger and other hardships, made me wonder about Marty and some of the others. I tried to ask Matt but he always seemed … distant … when I tried to bring it up. I learned that if I wanted to keep talking to him I didn’t dare broach the subject.

I also wanted to know what was up with Matt for real. I had some romanticized idea that he was holding back how hard his life really was for my sake so that I wouldn’t worry. The idea took hold in my teenage brain and just ate away at me melting most of my commonsense. I finally came to the point I couldn’t stand it anymore and decided I had to get to town.

I could go on and on about the difficulty of that trip, hiding out in bushes when curfew set in, getting eat up by mosquitoes and chiggers, blah, blah, blah. And once I got to town … the humiliation I felt was beyond anything I’d ever experienced in pain except for the loss of my parents.

The long and the short of it? The last thing that Matt and his family was doing was hurting in any way shape or form. As a matter of fact none of my former good friends were feeling any pain. It took years to work it all out so to say I understood how it had all happened right after I’d witnessed it would be a lie way up in the order of magnitudes.

Who do you send for when something breaks? A repairman, someone trained to fix whatever is broken. Unfortunately a lot of repairmen don’t get the appreciation they deserve. Well, who do you turn to when your infrastructure has failed? The Geeks of course.
 

No3buckshot

Deceased
Kathy,

Was part of this used in the opening sections of Forsaken Harvest when describing Dacey?

It seems like I have read it before in at least one of your stories.

Not complaining, just trying to make sure I have not missed something.

Thanks,

Buckshot
 

Kathy in FL

Administrator
_______________
Kathy,

Was part of this used in the opening sections of Forsaken Harvest when describing Dacey?

It seems like I have read it before in at least one of your stories.

Not complaining, just trying to make sure I have not missed something.

Thanks,

Buckshot

No, this is a story that I started but never got around to finishing. I'm working on the next section now that will go up in several parts. Hope to get something up today. The oral surgery just kicked my rear bumper. I'm not used to being forced to slow down this much. I was just plain sick to my stomach by the time I got home from church last night and despite trying to take it easier my head is spinning this morning. Middle of the day is about all I'm good for it seems and that's when I have to work on our business.

So ... I'm gonna try to get the next piece up. The story keeps avoiding the outline I had set for it so the characters are misbehaving for me. Had one character that was gonna die that decided to live and another that was gonna be more sympathetic but isn't. Go figure, sometimes the story just goes where it wants to which means a rewrite of the outline to try and adjust for that.
 

Kathy in FL

Administrator
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The New Geek Empire
Part 1


As the radio had started to get quiet my isolation from what was going on out in the world increased. In the beginning of that I did all sorts of things to distract myself from the problem. I pretended my family was still alive and would be coming home and that I needed to keep everything ready for them. Not the least bit constructive emotionally and very depressing after a bit. I shook myself out of that and then started pretending I was a characters in some of the books I read from my father’s library.

There was “Alas, Babylon.” Kind of apropos at first but then it made me lonely because even in Alas there was family and other survivors who could work together to form a kind of community. Then I went to “I Am Legend” only it scared the bejeebers out of me. One I didn’t like the idea of being the only person on earth left and two, every unusual sound in the night screamed at me of vampires, zombies, and other monsters. I definitely put that one back where it came from. On to happier types I went with the well-loved “Swiss Family Robinson” and even went so far as to watch the old Disney version … and promptly cried myself to sleep every night for nearly a week out of loneliness for my own family. Robinson Crusoe came closer to what I was looking for but even Crusoe had Friday. I tried so many different versions of the end of the world … “The Last Man” by Mary Shelley, “Earth Abides” by George Stewart, “The Scarlet Plague” by Jack London, “The Machine Dies” by EM Forster, “Anthem” by Ayn Rand, and many others like “Lucifer’s Hammer,” “On the Beach,” “The Postman,” “The Wild Shore,” and just for kicks “The Planet of the Apes.” They all gave me ideas while at the same time leaving me feeling empty.

I tried to fill at least part of the emptiness with visits to the Houchins Clan but after a while I discovered that I was welcomed less and less by them. They had taken a different road; instead of wanting to fill the loneliness they encouraged their isolation. It started innocently enough; I would get rushed off because they couldn’t shilly-shally around as they had work. Then the few members of that family close enough to my age were no longer around when I came calling. Then I was met at the gate and turned away. The last time I came by Mr. Houchins himself came out and spoke to me.

“Lydie, don’t take this the wrong way but I can only take care of my family. I have to, it is my God-given responsibility; my family has to come first. And I have to have rules and structure. With you coming by it … let’s just say it disrupts things; gives some of our youngin’s bad ideas. I know you don’t mean any harm but it’s becoming a problem. On top of that you make my womenfolk feel bad that you don’t have anyone to take care of you. Now I know you got your emancipation and been living on your own for a while, I figure you know how to take care of yourself by now but they don’t see it that way. And truth be I don’t want you giving any of the boys here at my place ideas that distract ‘em either. So’s … you just need to stay to your side of things.”

It wasn’t a threat. He didn’t wave a gun in my face or get all crazy or anything remotely dramatic in nature; but, there was no doubt that I was no longer welcome. I had too much pride to let him see how it hurt to be so summarily excluded and by the time I pedaled home I was downright angry. What did he think I wanted from him and his? Mr. Houchins was right about one thing, I could take care of myself; all I wanted was some company. Did that make me too needy? It took me a full two days to calm down and really think about it and when I did I realized that I was glad I had never shared exactly what went on at my place. Without intending to be I’d been smart. Dad used to say you didn’t have to worry about unsaying something you never said to begin with.

After Mr. Houchins’ and I had our little talk I really started doing some thinking; real thinking, not just fantasizing and playing pretend. Up to that point I had been making the same mistake a great many others had; the difference was I hadn’t had to pay for it. The “enemy” was still someone I didn’t know, someone who was away from this area … the threat was there but it wasn’t immediate. My family had been killed “away” by “away” people. Yes, I brought the reality of terrorism into people’s backyard but nothing had yet to happen in our backyards, or so I thought.

Oh sure, there were the squirrely people that every community has and they acted just about as squirrely as you could get and some of them paid for it. Every town as a juke joint – gathering place where liquor and women are served up and not necessarily in that order – or a “bad” side of town you didn’t go around at certain times of day. There were truly bad people in town just like there had been truly bad kids in school but my reality was that I didn’t have anything to do with them so they wouldn’t have anything to do with me. Stupid? Probably. Naïve? Most definitely. Would I have admitted to either at that point? Not in a million years.

After I started really thinking I stopped feeling sorry for myself and took a good look around. With just one glance I knew I had a sweet set up. Mostly of course it was thanks to Dad but everywhere I looked I could see my own hand in things. I think Dad had done it so that I would feel some ownership, some sense of having a place to belong even though I was just a kid. I hadn’t really appreciated that until then though in hindsight I realize it probably had a lot to do with how he was raised and how he got shafted in his grandparents’ will. I took what I had for granted; I suppose a lot of kids do but that’s no excuse and it was time for me to begin to put childish things away.

I had a good solid roof over my head. It was a green, metal insulated roof so I knew, barring catastrophe, it was going to be there for a long time. I knew how solid it was because I had helped Dad put the blasted thing on during one, long, hot miserable week two summers before. I knew that under the metal and insulation there was an incredibly thick layer of real plywood, not that OSB crap that was in common use back then. Dad and I had taken the roof off down to the old beams and trusses then added new trusses between the ancient beams so that they sat sixteen inches apart. Heavy sheets of one-inch plywood, clipped together with “H” clips and then nailed in place, was put on top of the trusses and then the new roof was put on top of that. Of course it was all complicated by these gazillion cuts that Dad insisted had to be perfect for things like the ridge vent, vent stacks, and solar hot water pipes. Talk about a freak-ton of work. They just don’t make many craftsmen like my Dad these days; even I will cut a few corners using technology when it means avoiding making my shoulder ache.

The rest of the house was (and still is) just as sturdy as the roof. That same summer we reworked and replaced all the soffit and fascia as well as the siding on the attic portion of the house. On the inside of the attic – it traversed the whole of the house – we finished it off with insulation and cement board and put in all sorts of storage bins and shelves at Mom’s request. Mom was one of those people that expected you to organize your sock and underwear drawer every Saturday before you could go out and play. I learned to keep it the way it was supposed to be as I went and am still that way … more out of habit though than because I inherited Mom’s neat-freak gene.

One of the technology kicks that Dad had gotten onto was “artificial wood.” It is quite common these days as a result of recycling all of the debris from the old population centers and landfills. Just like today the old stuff was a composite material pressed to look like real wood. In our case Dad rebuilt the floor of the wrap around porch. The irony is that he got the artificial wood from the mill … the paper mill where he worked … which was using the fake planks to build a nature trail through some land that the mill owners planned on donating to the state so that their family name would be one something that lasted forever. The stuff came in two colors back then – gray and brown – and Dad used all the scrap pieces of the brown variety he could find for most of the porch but then used the gray for decorative insets and at the house entrances at the front and back. Mom couldn’t stand it at first but when she realized how much easier it was to keep clean she just used a few woven grass rugs and put some plant stands out there and never complained again. I was just happy I wouldn’t ever have to smell another can of Thompson’s Waterseal; man did that stuff stink.

From the house I went on to the other necessities that I knew were needed. First was water. Had it in spades. From the house well there was potable water to drink and cook with. There was a well on the barn that was good enough to bathe, do laundry with, or water the chickens and giant angora rabbits – the rabbits weren’t my idea but Will’s and I just kept taking care of them and letting the breed to give me a connection to my brothers. Besides it would have been cruel to just release them to the wild because the fuzzy things would die from hair ball problems.

The old cisterns provided water for the gardens; a solar powered pump ran the water through a drip irrigation system that Dad had designed for Mom that wouldn’t pull any power from the main generator. There was also a spring-fed stream that ran into and then out of the fish pond that sat off to the west of the house. Dad had started to build a water powered generator, and in fact had all of the fused pipe dug and laid. Even the turbine was in place. What was missing was running all of the electrical connections. Dad’s schematics were still hanging on the bulletin board in his shop out in the barn; I just couldn’t seem to get the energy for that particular project. Dad and I had always done things together; doing it alone I worried I would muck something up and take the whole system down.

After water came food. My mother’s gardens had easily fed our family of four with more than plenty left over for the church pantry and friends and neighbors. We also traded some of our produce to the Mennonite farmers the next county over for sorghum, corn, wheat and the like but there were large pails of the stuff … I mean pails upon pails of the stuff … in the basement. Mom always kept us about two and a half years ahead on the basic whole grains because the rising costs really bothered her. Plus Will had problems with gluten because of some of his treatments interfered with his ability to digest some things so there was a lot of specialty grains down there too in twelve to eighteen month supplies. Dad had pinched about having quite that much but what Mom wanted Mom got in that respect.

Because a large freezer would have pulled too much juice Mom’s methods of preserving food pretty much fell along the lines of canning, drying, and smoking. Plus by doing our own preserving Mom was able to monitor what went into Will’s diet. I don’t want to say it wasn’t worth it because of course it was but sometimes it still gives me neuron overload to think of all the life my brother could have lived if he had just been given a chance.

As to growing more food to replace what I used, I had that down to a science. While Dad took care of part of my education, Mom made sure she instilled in me a few things as well. Raised beds, edible landscaping around the house and main yard area for decoration, square foot gardening in the back of the house surrounded by a high lattice type fence to keep the deer out, sustainable gardening in areas that are less accessible to the water system, aquaponics using a small fish tank where the little fish are given a chance to mature before being introduced to the pond and gobbled up, hydroponics in the greenhouse and then just regular old plant beds where things like herbs and fruit were grown. There was the orchard on the opposite side of the house from the pond and the nut trees out on the edge of the forestry belt that lay between our land and the three hundred or so acres of planted pines owned by the paper mill. Nope food wouldn’t be a problem for me or for a family.

Problem was I didn’t have a family and couldn’t even pretend that fact away anymore. Then it struck me. Why couldn’t I do the same thing the Houchins family had? Why couldn’t I build my own enclave or clan? The answer to that? Nothing. At least nothing insurmountable.

First question I asked myself was who would be in my clan. Houchins members? No. They already had their own group and I did not want to be taken over and absorbed by them because it could very well mean losing my autonomy and control. The other neighbors? No. There weren’t really any close ones left on my side of the county and I avoided the few there were because they were desperate and desperate people were dangerous people. Who then? I felt so stupid when the obvious finally occurred to me.

Matt of course, then Marty. I missed them both like crazy and hearing Matt’s voice on the radio only made me long for his company even more. Then a few other names popped up. But I knew to get Matt and Marty I would need to take on their families. I realize in hindsight how naïve my thinking was but that wouldn’t last much longer.

So I became determined. I made a plan. I made a list. Naïve I might have been but stupid I was not. I went through the list of my friends and tried to figure who they would want to bring with them. There was Matt, his mother and two sisters plus his cousin Ajax and his little girl that lived in the apartment over the old carriage barn they used as a garage. Marty and her parents made another three. Beyond that I wasn’t sure who to ask first. I knew absorbing so many people at once would be difficult so I decided to focus on my two best friends first and once I got them settled in and on board we could bring the others in.

Now the thing was for them to be my best friends, pals, gaming partners, etc. we never really went to each other’s homes; figuratively yes by hooking up online but literally not so much. I could usually raise Matt or Marty in real time by texting or through instant messaging; those two were never far from a portal to the internet. Even in school they had their computer tablets with them tucked into a special pocket of their notebook. No one had ever come to my house either because it was too far for most of them to get to, I was on the only one of my group with a car of my own so I could have gone into town to see them but there was always some reason it didn’t happen; mostly legitimate but probably a lot of it was just social laziness on our parts. In those days the cyber world wasn’t nearly as developed as it is today but it substituted just as easily for true physical interaction. Put in words perhaps today’s generations can more easily understand, there was no need to go to your friend’s house for cookies and milk after school when you could meet online at any time and do something fun and heroic like kill orcs, dragons, zombies, or evil space aliens. I was never much of a gamer but my friends were so I lived the game through their replaying their experiences at lunch during school.

What it boiled down to is that I knew I would have to have something big enough to entice them to leave their homes and come live with me. Matt never said much but I got the feeling that things had kind of exploded at their house after his father disappeared. The others I wasn’t sure about as Matt clammed up about them every time I tried to ask. I had what I had but I didn’t want to ruin the surprise until I could get them to the house so what else could I bribe them with … groceries.

I baked a loaf of bread, some cookies, and some of my special brownies that Matt liked then carefully packed them in my most beat up back pack. Oh I kept imagining their surprised faces and how eager they would be to follow me and then when we got back to the house just how happy I would have made them and how they would never want to leave or make a fuss. Yeah, like I said, naïve.
 

Kathy in FL

Administrator
_______________
The New Greek Empire
Part 2


I didn’t want Mr. Houchins or his group to know what I was doing. They’d never come down to the house as far as I knew. My place and theirs was about five miles apart as the crow flies but roads made it a little longer. Five miles was no big deal on my bike but by foot … well, I just figured they didn’t want to waste the time. Besides they had been busy working the two farms that were adjacent to theirs and not really interested in my place for which I was glad.

Just to be on the safe side I took the long way around to get to town. I detoured a couple of times when I saw things like cars and furniture piled in the road with people walking around them. After reading all those books in Dad’s library I could have kicked myself for not thinking of it the possibility before leaving home. First thought was, “Road block.” Next thought was, “How stupid can you possibly be Lydie?”

The only “weapons” that I carried was a Swiss Army Knife Boy Scout knife that had belonged to Will, a Leatherman multi-tool in case my bike fritzed on me, and a Ka-bar boot knife that Dad had always insisted I wear when I was walking around by myself. If they had ever caught me with it at school I would have been toast but it was so small that it literally fit into the top of the work boots I wore most of the time as my shoe of choice. Take that back, my primary weapon was my brain but apparently I hadn’t been keeping it as keen edged as I thought I had.

I was scared for a moment then reminded myself that those books were just fictional stories with fictional characters. I kept telling myself that no one could be like that in real life. However, I did get a lot more careful as I pedaled my way to Matt’s house.

When I reached Matt’s house I got my first inkling that my plan wasn’t going to work quite the way I had imagined it would. I knew right away something was wrong. Matt’s mom was one of the house proud people that spent good money and a lot of money to keep her yard looking like Gone With the Wind come to life. For those that don’t know it was a politically incorrect movie that became the stereotype for what the Old South was supposed to look like. But what stood in front of me as I got off my bike barely resembled what I remember the house and yard looking like. Matter of fact the entire neighborhood looked … well it looked trashed.

I was just staring at the house and brushing away tears when I heard a surprised exclamation of, “Lydie?!”

I jerked around and after a moment of shock I nearly screamed, “Marty!”

I dropped my bike and ran forward and then nearly bounced off a human wall. It took me a second to register but it was a guy that had been nicknamed watch by the whole school. He encouraged it because his real name was Marion.

“Ow! Sas geez! That was my foot you know!”

Marty jumped in front of Sas and I was starting to get really weird vibes. I tried not to attribute it to the uber strange way my friend and the others with her were dressed but to be honest it did have a lot to do with it.

“Oh … my … gosh! Sas is that a real gun?! And a freaking sledge hammer?!!” Looking around I saw all of them were just as strangely armed but seemed to also be dressed for the Nashville Comic Con and Horror Fest. “What is going on you guys? Geez Marty … your dad is going to flake if he sees you in that get up … you’re about to have a wardrobe malfunction,” I told her trying not to stare.

Marty looked at Sas and quietly told him, “Go get what Matt wants. I’m … uh … gonna have a little talk with Lydie.”

After Sas and the others reluctantly walked off, pairing up to go into various houses, I tried to hug Marty but it was like trying to hug a mannequin. She turned to me and said quickly, “Lydie you need to exercise some verbal control skills.”

“Excuse me?” I choked.

She gave me an irritated look. “Don’t go 404 on me.”

I shook my head and asked, “Since when do you talk like this off line?”

She noticed Sas was watching us and grabbed my arm and dragged me over to the curb and sat us down. “Listen. I’m trying to help you here. Things have changed. You need to get a handle on your mouth real quick or there is going to be trouble.”

Instead of responding to her statement directly I asked, “Where’s Matt?”

“That’s who you’ll be taken to. Sas has probably already radioed Central.”

Snorting I said, “Central? Tell me you mean Central Consolidated and not some dork gamer haven. If …”

She hissed, “Will you just shut up and listen for once?!”

I looked at her closely and there was nothing but seriousness on her face. I finally admitted that something weird was going on and I needed to find out what it was. “OK. So tell me how things have changed.”

Marty shrugged and then told me, “I don’t know if I can explain it all the way. It’s all felt so completely bogus, like being sucked into an alternate reality. I keep waiting to see Dr. Who … or remember that old show we used to Netflix called Sliders?” I remembered the show and it is basically about these people that keep getting sucked into alternate realities. It was decent the first two seasons and then went completely lame. Before I could respond she added, “Before you ask, let me tell you that Matt didn’t say anything to you because he has been trying to keep things safe for all of us.”

“Matt?” I asked half incredulous, half intrigued. “And how does keeping me out of the loop keep you all safe? You make it sound like … like I don’t know, some kind of 007 thing.”

She shrugged and with a little irritation in her voice said, “Maybe it isn’t that I can’t explain it but that I’m not sure you’ll understand. Matt has been like … like this … I don’t know … he totally saved us you know?”

I swallowed a laugh. Matt and I had been together for a long time both as friends and as more than friends but even I had a hard time seeing him as some kind of super hero like she seemed to be painting him. “Matt?!”

“Yeah,” she snapped. “And don’t be disrespectful Lydie. It’s totally not cool.”

I was beginning to feel like I had stepped into a weird mirrored fun house that distorted the reflection of everything I had once thought I knew. I just sat there looking and trying to think quickly on how to play this game everyone seemed to be playing. In the end it was Marty’s sudden coolness that drove to me act more cautiously and a good thing too.

Sas came out of Matt’s house and asked, “There a problem Marty?”

Wearily she said, “No. Just go do what Matt told you to.”

“It’s getting done,” he growled. Sas, the former teddy bear all the girls had treated like a big brother seemed to have grown some sharp teeth. “What I want to know is how come Lydie here shows up all of a sudden.” Turning to me he demanded, “Where have you been? What rock did you crawl out from under?”

I wasn’t easily intimidated but apparently he’d forgotten that particular fact. “Stuff it!” I told him. I turned to Marty and asked, “What’s really going on? I mean I got the feeling from Matt he wasn’t telling me everything but this is over and above, you know? I just thought it was so I wouldn’t be scared and stuff since I was all by myself and he wasn’t able to come get me but apparently I was completely wrong. My bad … wishful thinking will get me every time.”

Sas snarled, “You ain’t talked to Matt lately. I would know.” He pushed me off the curb with his cave man uggs further irritating me.

“Hey!” I yelled brushing myself off and getting up from the road. “Don’t call me a liar!”

Marty for her part pushed Sas back and yelled, “What? You think Matt tells you everything? Back off before he takes you off line.”

Sas backed away but not before I saw some serious resentment thrown my way and some hurt feelings thrown Marty’s way. I was growing more confused and yeah, scared too. Nothing was turning out how I had imagined it would. “Marty?” I asked more quietly, a lot of my bravado gone. “Seriously, what is going on? Where is Matt? Where is everyone else for that matter? And why is everyone dressed and acting so … so bizarre?”

“I keep telling you Lydie, this isn’t strange. This is New Normal … to me … to us … you are the one that looks and is acting strange… from like a million years ago.” Looking away she sighed sadly and then revealed, “As for everyone else? Mostly we don’t know. Just gone I suppose.”

Getting further weirded out by what she had just told me I asked, “What do you mean you suppose they’re just gone?”

Folding her arms and making her in even greater danger of having a wardrobe malfunction she said, “I mean over the summer a lot of people died. There was a terrorist attack or something like that. Poison was found in the town’s water tower. You know how it works … water from the reservoir is pumped to the tower and gravity feeds the water from the tower into the town where it gets pumped to people’s houses.” She shrugged like she was trying to pretend it didn’t hurt and continued, “The government guys came in afterwards and rounded up everyone in the town that was left alive … like there was barely half of us you know? And we all had to go house by house and put all the dead bodies in these dump trucks. When that was done we were told to get on buses because we had to help unload the bodies and identify them before they went to the incinerator. Only see, two of the buses broke down … one in town and one right outside of town … and most of us on those buses were like around our age. They figured we would be ok to stay by ourselves until the adults and little kids that went with them came back to town.”

“And?” I asked when she stopped talking and didn’t say anything else.

“And what? They didn’t … come back that is. It was like they had just vanished and no matter how much we listen on the radio we never hear anything about any of them or anything.” She shook her head and unfolded her arms. “We waited a week and things started getting really bad as the electric went off and stuff like that. I just went home thinking … only …”

Suddenly understanding I said, “Oh no … your … your parents?”

She nodded. “Matt’s in the same boat. His family never came back either. Most of us don’t have anyone. Parents and older siblings either got drafted early on or are among the missing. Younger kids … they were on a bus too and just … I mean … who knows? Right? Anyway, that’s when Matt started getting us organized. He’s been like a … like a … “ She got a really dreamy look on her face for a moment before catching me looking at her blankly. She shook her head and continued. “He had us all move into the school because it was easier running one big building than trying to run a bunch of smaller ones all spread out. Once we all looked around to see what we had to work with Matt divided us up into work groups and assigned goals. When people saw what we were accomplishing they wanted to be a part of it, part of the rebuilding process. Now we have to be real careful because we have reached maximum sustainable population.”

Where was she getting this stuff I wondered. I asked, “Maximum sustainable population?”

“I know Lydie. I’m sorry.”

I was confused because some of the stuff she was saying wasn’t adding up and wanted to ask her what she was sorry about but got distracted … and with good reason. Sas ran up to Mary and told her, “The chariots are here.”

I almost laughed again. “They’re golf carts.”

Sas and a few of the others close by gave me a disgruntled look. “Do you see anyone playing golf Loser? These babies were Matt’s idea. Central’s Chariots … we have the only operating vehicles for hundreds of miles.”

I knew that was just plain wrong but wasn’t going to enlighten the Thor wannabe. “Call ‘em whatever you want but they’re still just golf carts. Cool solar powered golf carts, but still just golf carts all the same. What did you do? Hijack them from the country club?” Then I saw someone dressed like a Mr. X upend my bike and start to take the wheels off I yelled, “Hey!”

Marty elbowed me and said, “Shut up. If Matt says you can have it back you’ll get it back.”

“What do you mean if Matt says …” That’s when Sas must have clocked me from behind and I blacked out.
 

SheWoff

Southern by choice
Yeah! I like this story...different from your others. And thanks so much for both chapters today. Can't wait to see where this is going....


She
 

Kathy in FL

Administrator
_______________
The New Geek Empire
Part 3


I started coming around when I heard Matt’s voice. “Was the violence really necessary Marion?”

He growled, “She wasn’t being respectful.”

“So what’s new? You know Lydie’s style. I feel sorry for her. She’s probably been scared and lonely and living off of scavenge out in the country. She didn’t say much when we were on the radio, like she was afraid to find out the truth. Maybe like she was afraid that we wouldn’t want her if we knew how low she had sunk.”

“That’s another thing Maestro. How am I supposed to keep you safe if you don’t keep me informed about stuff? Who else have you been talking to?” he demanded.

Wow. Bad move Thor-baby. Suddenly Matt sounded a whole lot like his dad had at the PTA meetings. He told Sas, “You’re my man at arms, not my overlord. You’re offline for a week!”

Sas yelped, “What?! But I’m about to take it to the next level! If I have to be offline for a whole week my sim will die and I’ll have to start all over again!”

Nastily Matt told him, “Should have thought about before ignoring the hierarchy.”

I tried to sit up as Sas slammed out of the room then jumped as Marty pushed me back down. “Take it easy Lydie. Sas really caught you a good one. He forgets when he is real worlding that people don’t always get back up.”

“No kidding,” I groaned. “What’s his damage?! All I did was call a golf cart what it was. Is he on drugs or something?” Then I got my first look at Matt. “Holy carp! What are you supposed to be? Oh wait … he called you Maestro.” Slowly standing up and shaking my head I said, “You’ve got to be kidding Matt … you’re dressed up as your sim counterpart? You look like ‘Gordon Freeman’ on drugs.”

Matt sighed, “Same old Lydie.” He shook his head and I thought at first he was putting on an act.

I laughed and stumbled forward to give him a hug. “Seriously Matt, what’s going on? Why’s everyone acting so weird … and dressed … er … well, not normal that’s for sure.” Catching another look at Marty’s Xena warrior princess get up I had to giggle.

Wrong move and apparently not the first … or last … one of the day.

“The one that is acting weird is you!” Marty snapped. “Maybe there is something to what Sas was saying. You waltz into town like it’s the way it used to be, like you can just pick up where you left off!”

“Whoa,” I said putting a hand up to hold off the anger in her face. “I live fifteen miles outside the city limit sign. I didn’t just waltz in. I had to ride my bike half the morning to get here you know? I had to go around road blocks. And like you haven’t exactly made an effort to come check on me. Not to mention the reason I didn’t know how bad you guys have had it is because Matt never let me in on it. I would have found some way to get here sooner and help if I had!”

Matt patted my arm like it was OK but then went to sit behind a desk and that’s when I realized we were in the principal’s office. Great. Could this scene get any weirder?

“Lydie,” he said. “Sit down. We need to get a few things straight and since you are being your normal Alyx Vance self I guess we are going to have to do it the hard way.”

I was getting a little irritated at the constant gaming references although being compared to a female character from Half Life 2 wasn’t the worst he could have compared me to. I sat but more because I was feeling dizzy and not because he told me to; however, I decided not to let him in on that little secret. I was starting to get the feeling that Matt’s ego had somehow been inflated into the stratosphere.

“First off,” he began. “I didn’t want to break it to you this way but we’re quits. Marty and I are together now. Don’t cry because it won’t do any good.”

Was that supposed to be a shocker at this point? Part of me had suspected something … but my best friend? Really? I was too mad to cry and wasn’t sure I would have anyway, especially not after Marty ran over to Matt and sat on the arm of the chair.

In the past Marty had never been Matt’s biggest fan, or so I had thought. After hearing – and seeing – the way they were being now my head started spinning with the possibilities. The only half way sensible thing that my brain produced was an irreverent but silent, “This has got to be the worst teen movie ever. I’m living it and don’t believe it.”

After a moment or two of me just staring at them Marty said in a confused tone, “You don’t look mad.”

Refusing to let either of them know just how hurt and mad I really was I shrugged. “I’m a big girl. If the best friend I’ve ever had and the guy who I thought was my boyfriend decided to make it behind my back I can deal. But how the heck the two of you can trust each other knowing what the two of you are willing to pull on someone else I don’t know. I certainly don’t trust either of you anymore. Which reminds me, I want my bike, I’m leaving.”

Angrily Matt said, “Sorry. Anything inside the city limits is Central’s property which makes it mine.”

Despite my best intentions I nearly spat at him when I said, “You better not consider me part of town property because I can guarantee I’ll make things … difficult.” My temper was quickly taking over and with adrenaline running through my veins like a double shot of Red Bull I told him, “You forget Matt … I know these guys too. A word here, a word there … then maybe they won’t think you are so all that. Apparently they’ve just forgotten they are capable of thinking for themselves. Must be some reason why you haven’t shared the radio with Sas or the others. By the way, nice tactic to pipeline the info and keep some of it secret. But now that Sas knows he’ll start thinking; and he may be slow but Sas isn’t stupid. He’s going to wonder about that and wonder what else you are holding out on.”

Matt sneered, “He’ll keep it quiet or he’ll stay off line.”

“Oh woo woo. Off freakin’ line.” I snorted in derision making them both flush in anger. “Get a grip. You can’t keep them living a fantasy forever Matt. You can’t keep living this stupid fantasy you’re trying to build either. Pretty soon they are going to wake up and see what is really going on and they are going to be ginormously hacked. Assuming you can hold it together that long. How stupid is it to tell them that those lame golf carts are the only moving vehicles for hundreds of miles? A quick listen to the radio would prove that is a lie.”

Marty’s face went blank and she hesitantly looked at Matt and then asked, “What is she talking about?”

“Nothing,” he muttered sullenly.

I looked at her and said snidely, “Keep on thinking what he tells you to Marty … while you can. But if he is lying about this, what else is he lying about? How long until you get replaced as easily as he replaced me? Huh?”

I tried to leave but Matt came around from the desk and pushed me back hard. “Where do you think you’re going?”

I looked at him and I think he finally saw how angry I was. My temper wasn’t exactly legendary but it was pretty bad. “Do not try this gamer fantasy crap with me … Maestro,” I told him with a hiss. “I don’t need a controller to kick some butt.” I used the flat of my hands and gave him a good thump on his chest making him jump back. I told him, “No one owns me. I fought long and hard to get my emancipation and I’m not going to just give it up to anyone … certainly not to you.”

I turned and in two steps wrenched the door open and stepped into the front office where a lot of people I knew … or thought I had … were lazing around with ear buds in and plugged into small electronic devices. A few were hooked up and playing some kind of game on a huge flat screen. Only a few noticed I was even on the planet. From there I slammed out the door to the courtyard and nearly ran straight into Sas.

“Oh give me a break!” I yelled frustrated.

Nastily he started to say, “Find out you aren’t …?”

I cut in with, “You mean did I find out about Matt and Marty banging like bunnies behind my back? Yeah. I’m pretty relieved that I never went that stupid over him if you want to know the truth. Now here’s one for you. Did you know that Matt is lying through his teeth about some things he has heard on the radio?”

Marty rushed out and said, “Wait! Lydie … don’t!!”

I yelled, “Why? Because Matt doesn’t want people thinking for themselves? Or because your cozy little kingdom will crumble when they do? Because they will Marty. Like I told you before Sas isn’t stupid and neither is anyone else I’ve seen. There are a couple of dorks and dope heads but no one is truly brainless.”

Marty said, “I’m … I’m sorry Lydie. I didn’t mean for things to happen like this. You don’t have to be so mean.”

Incredulous I asked, “Mean? You think I’m being mean?! Have ... you … completely … lost … it?!!” I stopped myself and tried to control my breathing.

A guy named Aston strolled up. He looked halfway normal until I realized he was dressed like Leon Kennedy off of Resident Evil. “So Lydie … what’s up?”

“So Aston … shrink in the wash or what?” He used to be one of the biggest guys on the football team but he’d lost some weight for sure.

He snorted a real laugh. “Good one. Mostly I just miss my mom’s cooking.” Then I realized he wasn’t daydreaming like the others were. He might have been dressed for play but his mind was still in the here and now. “Seriously, what’s up?”

Aston was not my favorite person in the world, mostly because he was as big a smart aleck as me but I liked his girlfriend Ashley who had come over to me with him. “Yeah Lyd … what’s up? We could hear the fit all the way down to the parking lot. Geez I mean … wait … it’s good to see you. Here.” She proceeded to give me a hug and for the first time that day – in a long time really – I felt someone really was glad to see me.

“Hey Ash,” I told her hugging her back. It was tight enough for her to know I was grateful if not sappy about it. Looking at Aston and Ashley I replied, “Let’s just say I found out about Matt and Marty the hard way and that I think everyone really needs to start unplugging the ear buds and start listening to the radio instead of letting Matt tell you what is going on.”

Matt had finally joined us. Marty had started to say, “Stop trying to scare everyone …” But Matt interrupted her and asked, “Why should they listen to you Lydie? You’re just angry about me and Marty.” He draped his arm around the girl in question and I found that it didn’t bother me as much as it probably should have. I was actually starting to feel relieved in a weird sort of way.

I told him, “What I found out is that I can’t trust you two. If you can’t be trusted over so simple an issue as friendship why should anyone trust you about anything else?”

I noticed a few of the kids had started listening … really listening.

“Don’t be a bad loser Lydie,” Matt said, trying to sound cocky. Wrong tact to take when there were other girls around.

Ashley and another girl named Ginger said at almost the same time, “That’s awful Matt!”

The guys with them started to get cautious, no doubt not wanting to mess up the same way Matt was messing up.

I decided to push the issue. “Like I said, it’s a matter of trust. Why don’t you let them listen to the radio with you Matt? What do you do? Keep it locked up where only you can get at it?” And another little push. “I mean, poor Sas here is just trying to do his job and you keep hiding things from him. I can’t believe you really told them those golf carts are the only moving vehicle for hundreds of miles. There’s farmers out in the countryside with tractors and they’re farming for pity sake. Not a lot, but enough. They’re going around draining all the diesel storage tanks they can find and while it may not last forever, they’re not doing too bad right now. And when they need parts and stuff you don’t really think they are going to come asking nicely to get what they want do you?”

“They’ll do what I say if they want those parts. We’ve got them hidden …”

I’d caught him and he’d all but admitted it. “A ha! So you did know that other people were still around and would need that stuff!”

Aston looked at Matt and said, “Yeah Matt … why did you have us moving that crap into all the old classrooms?”

“Shut up!” Matt yelled.

Figuring it was time for me to get while the getting was good I turned to leave but Sas grabbed my arm. I looked at him prepared to wrench my arm free but he just looked at me like a lost puppy. “I … I hit you.”

I took my arm out of his grasp and said calmly, “Yeah, you did. Did it make you feel good or did you think it was just a game and all you cost me was a few game points?”

He just continued to look at me blankly so I turned and walked away. When I was two blocks away I started to run. I was at the outskirts of town before I stopped running and the only reason I stopped was because I was pretty sure no one would be able to see the tears on my face.
 
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nancy98

Veteran Member
The story keeps avoiding the outline I had set for it so the characters are misbehaving for me. Had one character that was gonna die that decided to live and another that was gonna be more sympathetic but isn't. Go figure, sometimes the story just goes where it wants to which means a rewrite of the outline to try and adjust for that.


Kiinda like hearding cats?
 

ejagno

Veteran Member
Thanks for the new chapter so soon. Sadly this puts Lydia back to square one with her community plans.
 

No3buckshot

Deceased
No, this is a story that I started but never got around to finishing. I'm working on the next section now that will go up in several parts. Hope to get something up today. The oral surgery just kicked my rear bumper. I'm not used to being forced to slow down this much. I was just plain sick to my stomach by the time I got home from church last night and despite trying to take it easier my head is spinning this morning. Middle of the day is about all I'm good for it seems and that's when I have to work on our business.

So ... I'm gonna try to get the next piece up. The story keeps avoiding the outline I had set for it so the characters are misbehaving for me. Had one character that was gonna die that decided to live and another that was gonna be more sympathetic but isn't. Go figure, sometimes the story just goes where it wants to which means a rewrite of the outline to try and adjust for that.

Just wondered, seems like about half of the decriptino here matches the description of Dacey, or one of the other stories. The loosing the brother thing seems very familiar, unless you had this posted partly over on the arborial rodent site?

Thanks, for the new chapters, btw.

For the small (relatively) procedures involved in most oral surgery, it sure puts you body down for a time that seems all out of proportion to the procedure size.

Take care and get to feeling better, please.

Buckshot
 

Kathy in FL

Administrator
_______________
The New Geek Empire
Part 4


I was bent over trying to catch my breath and then the tears really started coming. I was nearly upchucking my guts when I was pulled between two buildings. I couldn’t scream because there was a hand over my mouth and a big guy squashing me. I was too shocked to fight at first and by then he had me pretty physically under control.

“What are you part gazelle?” He asked calmly.

Then I heard a little girl giggle. “Tickle fight! Tickle fight!” My eyes moved to the side and saw the little girl then looked back at the guy and finally thought returned enough that I bit the hand over my mouth.

“Ouch!”

With my mouth uncovered I hissed, “Get off me you jerk!”

“Hey, none of that mouth Lydie. Look I need to know, are you still set up out at the farm?”

I snarled, “Kiss my …”

His hand came over my mouth again for a moment before I could brush it away. “Uh uh, not with my kid around you don’t,” he said flatly.

I pushed Jax off of me … Ajax Remington, Matt’s cousin. Got his girlfriend pregnant when I was a freshman they were juniors. Then right before the baby was born he made a big stink out of wanting to raise the baby even if his girlfriend wanted to give it up for adoption. My cousin the judge gave him custody of the baby when the girlfriend’s parents forced her to sign away her parental rights and then sent her away to live with relatives in another state.

Jax wasn’t a bad person, and in fact Dad had thought it had taken a lot of guts to fight to raise his kid. My dad’s opinion went a long way towards making it easy for me to say, “Fine. I’m sorry. But geez, get off me. You totally freaked me out.”

He shook his head but still got up. “You deserve a little freaking out. I can’t believe you are just running around like this. Some guy could have pulled you into an alley and …”

I gave him a dirty look and said, “Some guy just did.”

He sighed then said seriously, “You know what I mean.” He picked up his little girl who laid her head on his shoulder and he gave me “the eyes.” You know when someone wants you to get the point but won’t use words to explain the point.

Figuring I understood what he meant but that he didn’t want to have to explain in front of his kid I asked, “What do you want Jax? I’ve got places to be.”

He ignored my question and stepped over to a bike with a kid carrier on it and saddle bags. He reached into the saddle bag and took out a bottle of water. He looked at it for a second and then handed it to me. “Drink before you get sick. I can’t believe you ran all the way from the school like that. I had a hard time following you and I was on the bike. If you had run through anymore backyards I probably would have lost you.”

“You were at the school?” I asked as I unscrewed the lid and sipped the water. “I didn’t see you.”

“No. I was feeding her,” he said pointing to the little girl that still clung to him. “I knew there was going to be fireworks as soon as I figured out it was you. ‘Nother reason why you did see me is I stay there but don’t really hang with any of them. I just needed to make sure that Kelly had some people around if something happened to me.” He looked around. “So, look … I figured Matt was holding out I … I just didn’t know how bad. I mean you make it sound bad …”

His statement was more of a question so I told him. “He’s holding out but I don’t know what you know and what you don’t so I can’t say how bad.”

“Just figure he hasn’t said anything and all we’ve been told is what you’ve heard thus far. World is a dead place for miles and miles all around.”

I snorted. “And you believed that?”

“Me? No, not really. Some of the kids? Yeah … yeah they do. They have to believe it because otherwise why wouldn’t their families have come back? It might also mean they should do something like go look for them or something besides zoning out on games all day and night.”

I looked at him. “Your mom and dad?”

“No. They … they died. The water was poisoned and …”

I nodded stopping his story. “I heard about it. Your parents … that must have been rough.” After my parents died it seemed that Jax and his parents had started to try and work things out but I didn’t know how far it had gotten. He continued to live in the apartment at Matt’s which could mean anything. Now I didn’t know how to ask and was pretty sure it wasn’t my business either way. “ Look,” I told him. “Why did you nearly scare me to death anyway if you are part of Matt’s crowd?”

He shook his head. “I told you, I’m not. I just didn’t know what else to do for a while. Ashley and some of the other girls help look after Kelly so I can scavenge but … things are getting so weird. Last week I came in and they had her all painted and dressed up like some freaked out goth baby doll. Kelly thought it was funny but I don’t want her into that crap.”

I thought about it for a minute and realized I’d never heard about him being a bad father only that he should have let the baby go for adoption because that is what his girlfriend wanted. He saw me looking and then got a long face on. “Don’t start telling me that I should have …”

“I won’t,” I said interrupting him. “It isn’t any of my business and I wasn’t walking in your shoes.”

He blinked a couple of times. “Oh.”

“So again … why the Jack the Ripper routine.”

“Hey!” When he saw I was being sarcastic rather than serious he relaxed a little. “I need a better place that is safe for Kelly and I’m willing to work to get it. If you are out at your parents’ place … no way can you do it all yourself. I figured you might be looking for some help; that maybe that is why you came to town only Matt and Marty turned things upside down on you.”

“Town isn’t safe?” I asked not prepared to respond to the rest of it yet.

“Yes and no. Right now it is for the most part but maybe it isn’t next week. Matt … he’s OK. Smart and knows what he is doing as far as the power and all of that.”

“But?”

Sighing he admitted, “But right now he’s a little unstable too. All of them are. I’m the closest thing to an adult they’ve got and Matt made sure no one would listen to me, even if they might have been tempted to in the beginning. The prefer their weird fantasy life to thinking about the hard stuff right now. For some of them it is probably the only thing keeping them from going off the deep end.”

Thinking of how Sas reacted when forced to face real life I nodded. “I’ll buy that. But what has that got to do with me?”

“Nothing,” he admitted. “At least nothing right now. Later? Maybe it does depending on how they shake out. Could be having you show up gets some of them to thinking. Or maybe Matt just reasserts control of the group. It’s weird but he’s got a talent for telling people what they want to hear and then going further and giving them what they want too. So if he hangs on maybe they keep going the same direction they are right now or maybe they freak out even more. There’s a lot of dangerous crap just lying around waiting to be picked up by the wrong person. I hid some of it but you know if Matt and a couple of those others really get it into their minds to do something a locked door isn’t going to stop them.”

He sighed and then added, “Right now they aren’t really doing anything about making sure they’ve got good food and stuff like that for this winter. I think some of them really believe that the government will be here at some point soon to rescue them … or that their families will come back and everything will eventually get back to normal.”

I hugged my arms and kind of walked around in circles while he just looked at me. I was starting to have a hard time absorbing everything. I was freaking but I didn’t want him or anyone else to know it. Nothing that had happened that day had turned out the way it was supposed to. I’d also lost my part time boyfriend and best friend in the world in one fell swoop. I had found out lots of people were dead and lots more were missing and the people that were left all seemed to have taken a vacation from reality. And now here was Jax with his little girl and I knew he didn’t just follow me for kicks.

I looked at him, “What is it you want?”

“I told you …”

I nodded, “Yeah, I know what you told me. And say I believe you … that can’t be all of it. It can’t be that simple. I know you Jax … there’s a plan in there some place and I’m not going to walk into it blind. You gave up going away to college for your kid but still wound up working for Dad at the mill because according to him you were smart enough to know what you were smart at and smart enough to get smart about what you weren’t. He said you had a plan for everything … how to make up hours when Kelly had appointments or was sick, how to work it so that you could take online classes to get a degree a little at a time, how to stretch the dollars you were bringing in, how you were going to move out of your aunt and uncles place once Kelly started school … I had to listen to it all the time. It got irritating. You’d messed up big time but somehow my straight as a razor father still admired you.”

Something in Jax’s shoulders relaxed. “I admired your Dad too. He was one of the first that let me earn some respect after everything that had happened. Certainly not my dad … not even my uncle would do that. I rented from him, that’s about as far as it went most of the time.” He saw me just standing there looking at him and he sighed. “If I say, you aren’t going to want me.”

“First off …” I tried to come up with something and completely drew a blank. “Forget it. Just say it and have done. As you can see I didn’t escape with my bikes so it is going to take me til dark to get home.”

“You can’t walk around in the dark like that Lydie, it isn’t safe. Matt tries to act like the school is the only place there are people but there’s a small group on the other side of town that didn’t buy into his act. Thing is they are even more unstable than the kids are.” He shook his head. “They’ve gone all religious and stuff and keep to themselves though I’ve caught them watching every once in a while.”

“But where there are two groups there might be more.” I told him knowingly.

Jax nodded. “Not big groups but I’ve seen people creeping around. I think some of them come in from out of town or they are passing through but don’t hang around. I don’t recognize them either way and rarely see them more than once or twice before they are gone.”

I snorted. “Not recognizing them doesn’t mean anything. I almost didn’t recognize Matt and Marty and they …” I shut up suddenly sad in a way I hadn’t been before.

He patted my arm awkwardly and said, “I’m … I’m sorry. About … you know …”

Yeah, I did know. “I know the same thing happened to you. You survived so I guess I will too. Just … just I don’t want to talk about it. Anyway, you’re supposed to tell me this plan of yours.”

He licked his lips and looked really uncomfortable. Just when he opened his mouth to start explaining the little girl in his arms sat up and said, “Daddy, I starvin’.”

Jax didn’t groan but he did make a face. Then he tried to sweat talk her. “Daddy will get you something in just a little bit.”

“I staaarrrvin’,” she said completely pathetic.

Jax was starting to look a little desperate and I don’t know why but I laughed. “Well, they’re probably squashed or crumbly but I still have my backpack so let’s see.”

I looked for a place to sit down but Jax mouthed, “Food?”

I nodded, “Yeah.”

He asked, “Seriously?”

“I wouldn’t kid a kid,” I told him sensibly. Then in a bad British accent I said, “Bad form and all that.”

Jax winced. “Please don’t start talking that crazy talk. I couldn’t understand Matt and the rest of them half the time.”

I smiled a small smile. “OK.”

“Come on. Let’s go in here,” he said pointing to a convenient mart. “It’ll be better if we aren’t in the open anyway.”

We went into the back office, now empty except for the cob webs, and sat on a couple of folding chairs. When I pulled out the bread, cookies, and brownies I don’t know whose eyes got bigger … Jax’s or his daughters. I handed them some wetnaps that were also in my pack and told them to wash their hands.

“Lydie … are you sure you want to share …”

I gave him a grumpy look. “I already said I would didn’t I?”

“Yeah but … I mean …” He gave me a close look. “You were going to use this as a hook weren’t you.”

I gave him a sour smile. “Dad said you weren’t stupid. But I guess I was thinking something like that would work.”

When I put the jar of mixed peanut butter and jelly on the counter I had to hand Jax a napkin to wipe Kelly’s chin with when she started drooling so much. “Geez, what’s up?” I asked.

“Peanut butter was her favorite and it ran out a long time ago. And she’s going through a growth spurt probably, teething some molars too … she’s always chewing on the edge of her blankey and always hungry lately. I … uh … don’t cook too well. We used to make do out of the freezer and stuff my aunt would bring to the apartment but … none of that stuff is left.”

As we sat together and the goodies disappeared I found I was actually more interested in watching Kelly and Jax eat than I was in feeding my own face. Curiously I asked, “Jax, just how bad is it?”

He shrugged a little embarrassed at getting caught inhaling the food I had given him. “It could be worse. At least no one is starving. A lot of the grain silos are still full except for the couple that got rats in them; even that might be salvageable for animals only none of the kids want to go out and bring it back to the school to store it. I’ve been trying to find books on how to cook grains or kill chickens and that sort of stuff but every time I bring it up to Matt he just ignores me and says there is plenty of cans and stuff, that we aren’t reduced to quote ‘primitive necessities’ unquote.”

Trying to ignore the twinge I felt at Matt’s name I asked, “Is there enough food to last?”

“Yes and no. I got a partial inventory made before Matt locked things up so I can say they are decent right now. Enough probably to get through the winter but by spring there will be rationing of stuff pretty hard if some new supplies aren’t found; cans will get lost to freezing too if they don’t move it to a more protected area.” He sighed. “Now, about this plan I sort of have.”

“Yeah?” I said, more interested than I wanted him to know.

“Look, you’re alone right?”

Getting suspicious I said, “And what if I am? I’m not helpless.”

“I didn’t say you are. You can’t be to have made it this far unless maybe someone has been helping you.”

I shook my head. “Either way, not your business.”

“Well, I’m trying to make it my business,” he persisted.

“You can try,” I told him defensively.

He sighed. “Look Lydie … Geez, don’t make me feel more stupid than I already do OK?” I blinked not expecting the conversation to go that direction. “Your Dad always told me I should be stockpiling a little of this and that since I had a kid to look after. I didn’t because I thought … well, because I didn’t want to think I guess, at least not about that stuff. And look now. I’m reduced to begging …”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa … we aren’t talking about begging and if you don’t start making sense I’m gonna walk,” I told him using irritation to cover my embarrassment at seeing him … well, almost begging.

“Lydie, I meant what I said about working for a safe place for Kelly. I … I kind of know your Dad looked at things … different. He said it was bad to be too dependent on things that could go away too easily. That I needed redundancy plans. He told me a few things about what he and your mom did. I just … just never seemed to have the time or money to get around to doing something about my own situation. But I know your Dad did. I’m asking if … if …”

And then a light bulb went off. “You want to come out to my place and live.”

“Yeah,” he admitted.

I know some people might think it strange but I nodded giving it serious consideration. After all I had come to town to get a “clan”. “What else and don’t tell me there isn’t more.”

He licked his lips again. “I thought maybe … if things worked out … if … you know … you and me … could …” He stood up with Kelly in his arms and said, “Forget it. I … uh …”

“Jax. Chill.” He looked at me. I shook my head. “I can’t talk about this stuff with you holding her. Can you sit her down for a minute?”

All of a sudden Jax got real stiff. “We’re a package deal.”

I rolled my eyes. “No kidding. Just … you know … what you were talking about … kinda hard to have a conversation about it with her blowing spit bubbles and being all cute and junk.”

“The floor’s dirty,” he said.

Exasperated I told him, “All right. Fine. Hold her just … you know … don’t use her to get what you want. It is freaking weird to see a guy your age acting all … all fatherly and stuff. I watched you play Little League and win pie eating contests at the fair when we were little. It’s bizarre to see you with a little girl of your own that calls you daddy you know?”

He said quietly, “Yeah. I get that a lot.” He sat back down on the stool and rocked a bit so that Kelly started getting sleepy. “Geez. I know this makes me sound like some kind of … of gigolo …”

I choked on crumb of brownie I had just put in my mouth. I gave him a dirty look and said, “I knew sex was part of this somehow.”

He shook his head. “It doesn’t have to be. I mean … maybe if we want it to at some point. I was trying to think about that with any of the other girls and just couldn’t figure how it could work and …”

This time it was me that reached over and put my hand over his mouth. He pushed it away and asked, “What?”

“You need like a mouth guard or something because when your boot finally hits your mouth as hard as it is about to you’re going to break some teeth.”

“Huh? Uh … oh … you mean … well yeah … I know how it sounds.”

I doubted seriously that he did. “Jax?”

“Yeah?”

“You used to be cool with the girls. What happened?”

He looked indignant for a minute and then sighed and shrugged. “I had to learn to change diapers and put up with being laughed at because I’d get to work and there was spit up all down my back. I learned that tired wasn’t what you felt after a football game but what you felt after your kid stayed up half the night with colic and you still had to go to work the next day because if you didn’t your kid wouldn’t eat. I learned that girls think it is ok for them to have a kid or two at home but the guy isn’t supposed to. I learned that all those single parent support groups are really for girls and women because the guys are all retards and unwilling to pay child support and othe things like that.”

“Really?” I asked. “That sounds … awful.”

“Really,” he said in a voice like sour milk. Then with a look at the little girl asleep in his arms he said, “But I’d do it all again if I could know that I’d still wind up with Kelly.”

There was a big boom that made us all jump and woke Kelly up and she started to whimper. I looked outside and saw the clouds had gotten pretty dark. “Storm,” I told him. “This is not going to be fun to walk home in.”

“I told you …”

I put my hand up to stop another one of his lectures. “I know what you told me but I have to get home to take care of the animals. They’ve got automatic water troughs but I feed them by hand.”

He just kept lookeingat me and then I sighed. “Look Jax, walking in the rain isn’t my idea of fun but I have to get back. I’ve got responsibilities.” Then I scrunched my eyes shut for a brief minute then said quickly, “But if you want to come you can.”

He hadn’t expected me to give in that easily. “What?”

“I said …”

“Wait, no, I mean I heard that but … but are you serious?”

I rolled my eyes. “No, I just said it to make myself look like a complete fool.”
 
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ejagno

Veteran Member
Wonderful addition. Thank you! I think Jax and is little girl will give Lydia the family she craves so badly, along with a major learning curve in life. LOL
 

seraphima

Veteran Member
Goth gamers in the apocalypse. I don't know whether to laugh or cry... unfortunately, so likely, not that I would have thought of it if you hadn't first. Thanks for another good story; hooked again!
 

Kathy in FL

Administrator
_______________
The New Geek Empire
Part 5


He wasn’t going to give me a chance to change my mind. “I know where we can get another bike and it’s close to where I’ve been stashing stuff for Kelly in case we had to make a fast break for some reason.” The look I gave him made him nod. “I know how that sounds but like I said, the rest of them are … unstable right now and I worried that something might happen. I don’t want to put Kelly any more at risk than I already have. I’ve messed up enough; it is time to start thinking four jumps ahead instead of just one or two.”

It sounded like something my dad would have said which made me a little uncomfortable. I looked outside and almost groaned. “Rats! It’s sprinkling,” I told him. “Let’s wait a few minutes to see if it lets up. I don’t think any of us wants the sniffles.”

He shook his head and then after looking at the giant dry-weather drops hitting the concrete grew boring for both of us he said, “Uh … Lydia? I really am sorry about the way you got treated. I know it’s … it’s hard but just try and understand and remember how you felt when your family was killed. I’m not making excuses for them but at least you had some structure, some … some boundaries; some people that still had some authority helping you through it. They don’t have anyone. They’re creating it as they go along using what they know best.”

Not quite ready to let go of my hurt feelings I told him, “You didn’t get all weird, at least not that I can tell yet. And neither did I.”

“Thanks … I think.” He gave a one-shouldered shrug and made a face to go with it. “I admit that Matt is way ahead of me academically, that’s a no-brainer even for me. But I’ve got two years on him and more life experience; plus I have Kelly totally dependent on me and it grounded me in a way Matt has never been … that any of them have ever had to be.” He gave me a sligh look and I had a feeling I knew what was coming. “As for you, you’ve always been strange so …”

I punched him softly on the shoulder and said, “Ha … ha … ha. Fine, I walked into that one face first. Seriously though, they can’t go on living like they are.”

He asked, “Why not?”

Surprised at his attitude I bleated, “What do you mean why not?! It’s … it’s bizarre … fantasyland … crazy. To be honest it wouldn’t surprise me if some of them are smokin’ weed or something like that.”

He was silent for a moment. “I think a couple of them were, and a couple were speeding to keep from having to go to sleep and have bad dreams, but there hasn’t been anything obvious for a while. Matt managed to find what was left of that stuff and lock it up before anyone got too hooked.”

Surprised I asked, “What about the booze? No age limit anymore and no one around to card either.”

He thought about it and then told me, “Just like with the drugs most of it was gone before people died or disappeared. Most of what was left at that point was confiscated by DHS’s contractors. When the work groups go out and they actually find some drugs or booze they are brought back to Matt who locks the stuff up. I wasn’t around the day that rule was made but from what I heard Matt gave everyone some kind of talking to about keeping their minds and body clean so that the group think was healthier or something like that.”

I shook my head wondering how Matt pulled that one off and said, “OK, so they’re sober; but then what’s their excuse for playing dress up?”

Jax liked to think before he answered so it was a moment before he asked, “Have you ever wondered why some ancient tribes and early cultures dressed and acted like they did?” I shrugged not quite knowing what he was getting at. He said, “I have, especially lately. My guess is they had … uh … vacuums of space in their lives or psyches that needed to be filled. You know how they say nature abhors a vacuum? Well, I think they picked something that would draw them together as a group, set them apart from other groups so that they’d have a shared identity, and made them feel strong and powerful at the same time … something that would fill the empty spaces in their lives.”

Leaning against the wall I looked at him for a moment; long enough to apparently make him uncomfortable. But I didn’t mean it that way. I told him, “You’ve given this a lot of thought haven’t you?”

“You don’t need to get snotty,” he said embarrassed.

I shook my head. “You’re taking it the wrong way. I’m serious. You’ve given it a lot of thought.”

He looked to check whether I was joshing him or not. When he could see I wasn’t he relaxed again. “Yeah, I have. I’m not making excuses for Matt – or any of the others either – but the last thing I wanted to think was that my cousin had nose-dived into the koolaid. I know they look kind of crazy but I don’t think they really are; they’re just lost and trying to create some structure they can understand and deal with, something that makes them feel better than the way they were feeling which was scared and alone.”

Trying to see it from his point of view wasn’t easy. I glanced out the window and said, “It’s stopped raining. You mind if we get going?”

“No. We should probably hurry as much as we can. I need to make sure Kelly is changed and everything before we really hit the road. Uh … you mind if we detour by my parents’ place? It’s off of Mulberry and we can take Jefferson Creek Road to go out past the mill too if you want to.”

Adding it up in my head I said, “Whatever. Let’s just go. It’s just passed one now and fifteen miles to get home. If we take an hour to get the bike and pick up your stuff, a few minutes at your parents place, and then maybe a few minutes at the mill … I think we can still make it home before dark assuming we don’t get caught out in more rain.”

We both moved forward. Without thinking much about it I held the bike steady while he put Kelly in her seat. He pushed the bike and we both walked though I told him if he wanted to ride that was OK, that I could keep up. He shook his head and then we both fell silent for a while. Then he asked quietly, “Lydie?”

“Yeah?”

He caught me off guard when he asked, “You’re trying not to think about this aren’t you?”

I gave him a quick look. “If you are going to do that mind reading … uh … carp …” I said changing the word I was going to use when I saw Kelly watching me with those big baby eyes of hers.

He shook his head and said, “Not mind reading … I can just tell. I used to do the same thing. Had to make decisions fast and then just tried not to think how much more messed up my life could get if I had made the wrong choice. But look, that other stuff we were talking about maybe being part of the picture. I’m not … look … I’m not going to force anything on you and you don’t force anything on me. I know you need to get over Matt first, get passed being mad at him anyway, and I still have Kelly to think about and who has to come first. Let’s just take it slow and one step at a time.”

I asked, “Isn’t it the girl that is supposed to say stuff like that? Like let’s just be friends first?”

He shrugged, “Heck if I know. Darlene …” He looked down at Kelly and said, “Darlene was more of the hurry up and let’s get to it type. My mom tried to warn me about girls like that but I was a guy and in lust, wasn’t thinking and got careless. Darlene kept saying she had it all under control but apparently she wasn’t taking the pill right or at the right time or something like that. She kept telling her parents that I was the first but that wasn’t true and she and I both knew it. Darlene liked her fun, she just didn’t want to have to pay for it. Me? I was just stupid.”

I didn’t want to know the details and it must have shown. He asked, “Having second thoughts?”

“Not exactly. Just thinking that life is really messed up and that my dad and mom would be spazzing if they knew what I was doing.”

Saying yet something else that caught me off guard he asked, “You don’t think they do?”

It was an odd question but I thought about it anyway. “I guess maybe they do but kind of in a far off, it can’t hurt them kind of way. At least that’s what I believe right now. Sometimes I don’t know what to believe. Why?”

He shrugged. “Your dad always seemed so sure of what he believed in.”

Sighing, I agreed. “Yeah, he and Mom both were. Will sure was and used to give testimony at church about being sick and having faith and stuff like that. I used to think I was as sure as they were. Now I’m not sure I know anything. I mean most days I do but then sometimes … it’s hard to understand why God let’s things happen the way they do. I don’t know.” I shrugged a little embarrassed at talking about something so personal. “How did we start talking about this stuff anyway?”

Instead of answering directly he looked at me and said, “You should be more careful. What if I was a real jerk and just telling you stuff that you want to hear?”

“So now you’re trying to talk me out of it again or aren’t I answering your questions the right way?”

“No, it’s not that. I just have a hard time reconciling what I used to think of you with the girl you’re being right now. You got your emancipation and surprised a lot of people by how well you did. Now here you are and I wonder how you got this far without getting into trouble when you ask strange men to come live with you.”

I snorted. “One, you aren’t a strange guy … well you are but you know what I mean. I’ve known you like my whole life even if we didn’t ever exactly hang out with the same crowd. Two, Dad thought you were ok and moving in the right direction. Three, you are the one that brought it up to me first.”

He smiled a little and said, “OK, I’ll give you all three.” More seriously he said, “But that doesn’t mean you don’t need to be more careful.”

“I know.”

He opened his mouth to say something then shut it and looked at me funny. “You know?”

“Yeah,” I told him. “I’m not stupid. I should have pushed the issue with Matt more, found out more about what was going on in town. I shouldn’t have come to town thinking that I was all that and then some thinking I could just waltz in like nothing had changed. I got too insulated at home. I’ve had it so easy that I made some assumptions I shouldn’t have. Want me to keep going?”

He shook his head and then laughed. “You know, that’s why it was always easy being around you.”

“Huh?”

He laughed again but not to make fun of me. “I don’t know how to explain it. Mostly you don’t act like most people would in your place. “

I shrugged. “Dad used to say that the trouble with being like everyone else is that you wind up making the same mistakes everyone else makes too.” I kicked a rock into the gutter and added quietly, “Jax I don’t want this to be a mistake. I’ve already got enough regrets; don’t make me regret this too.”
 
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