The Biscuits
My day has been running oddly, not having gotten to bed until 6AM. The better half woke me around 2PM when the outside temperature hit 70F (21C) - not very often in November - so I could paint the 10 gallon cast iron pot that's now a "flower bed" in its own right.
Got that done with just one minor injury - using the "ears" to turn the pot right side up after painting the bottom half got the middle finger of my right hand slightly crushed and definitely bruised. I was wearing gloves so no broken skin but there's an abraded area on the side of that finger: even with gloves on, it's a heavy pot. The bruising responded to the application of a baggie of ice for twenty minutes while I waited for the paint on the "ears" to dry and another twenty minutes of ice several times after the pot was back in place. That finger's still not happy while typing but the swelling is mostly gone.
It's approaching midnight and I'm ready for another meal, so the oven is set at 385F (196C) - package has "375 to 400F" - to bake some frozen "Mary B's" biscuits - now just 14 minutes away. "Sister Schubert" does good frozen yeast rolls, but "Mary B's" are the best frozen southern style biscuits I've tried - and I can fix just one or two in the toaster oven or get out the pizza stones and cook a couple dozen in the big oven. No zipper on their plastic bag, but if you cut the end neatly you can fold it down and use two wood clothespins for a good seal. The near-zero-degrees F (-18C) of the freezer has little impact on the wood clothespins but that cold can make the plastic clips brittle - especially if that cold clip falls to the ceramic tile floor.
What will I have with the biscuits? Have several options in honey: bamboo, blueberry, wildflower. Bamboo would be my first choice as I like the rich flavor of dark honey. There are also seedless blackberry preserves, orange marmalade and probably some raspberry jelly. Maybe grab some of the cooked and frozen applewood smoked bacon? Only takes 20-30 seconds per slice to have hot, crispy bacon from the microwave...
OK, the timer on the stove has started it's "Beep! Beep! Beep!" so time to check the biscuits.
Much warmer in the kitchen after having the gas-fired oven on for 30+ combined minutes of pre-heat plus cook time. Looks like I'll need to turn the pizza stone halfway through the biscuits' cooking time in the future as half the biscuits are fine but the other half are bit too brown on the bottoms - certainly not inedible but not "pretty". I'll also take advantage of grid power and get a quick cup of decaf coffee from the Keurig.
Now back to my writing place in the family room - and it's not as warm as the kitchen. I could go dig out a fan to move some warm air from the oven-warmed kitchen but the remote for the gas logs is right here and... The electronics think the ON button worked and we have fire from the gas logs, as the flame symbol is showing on the remote's display, but there was no "Thunk!" of the gas valve operating. That's odd, as the oven uses at least as much gas and it's only been off a few minutes. Go get the battery tester and check the four D cells for the gas logs' controller - and they're all at the high end of "Good". Open the firescreen doors and stick my head in to check the pilot on the gas logs... It's about two-thirds of its normal height so it's not getting the millivolt thermocouple hot enough. Did the gas meter die between turning off the oven and trying to light the gas logs or is it in the gas log piping or controls? Back to the kitchen and try a cooktop burner... Get the "Snap! Snap!" of the spark lighter but not enough gas for more than a flicker of flame. The gas pressure - or the lack of it - is the same across all appliances - good that I've already been through the shower as we won't have even slightly warm water in a few hours. Is it our meter or the supplier?
Unfortunately, the local gas provider doesn't have the same type of "localized outage" page as the electric co-op does but let's see if they have any information about a system problem on their home page. That page is taking its own sweet time about displaying... Is it my internet connection? No, as weather.com comes up at its usual speed. Maybe the gas company's site just has a lot of traffic? Back to it and the page starts with large red letters:
6PM tomorrow? That doesn't help those who can't heat their houses tonight and who won't be able to cook breakfast or lunch tomorrow. What's our personal fallback for this? We have limited solar power plus a generator with two weeks of fuel for power outages but our backup for heating will be the kerosene heater in the garage. I have fuel for a couple of weeks out in the equipment shed, so we're probably better off than most of the neighbors. We could cook some things on the gas grill, but the Coleman camp stove with the aftermarket propane burners and a couple of one pound propane cylinders is probably the easiest option - it's almost like cooking with natural gas.
Well, my coffee got cold while I was researching and thinking but as long as we have grid power, it can be nuked fifteen seconds and be "just right" again.
Is the pipeline experiencing some maintenance issues or is this another computer ransom issue or... I should check poweroutage.us for the power status of states along that pipeline. There's a very low resolution map of the pipeline's "plumbing" network online but it's good enough to say which states the pipeline runs through and compare that with the poweroutage.us map.
poweroutage.us is slow? Are other people doing the same research I am to find out why they don't have natural gas for heating or cooking? Checking each state the pipeline runs through and noting the number of power outages on the pipeline map I printed, those states have "yellow" levels of power outages and the affected counties all seem to be along the pipeline.
Muslim terrorists? Antifa? BLM? Green New Deal? Cyberhackers? Anything on foxnews.com?
One of their talking heads is speaking with an engineer from the pipeline company who has a bigger and more detailed version of my power outage to pipeline overlay map and a list of possible causes/suspects - his map has the actual locations of the pumping stations and has lat/lon references on the edges. I need to pause that the next time it's full screen and do a screen capture... Got it! Now save that as "natural-gas-pipeline-map-pump-locations-power-feeds.jpg" for future reference. You should always collect and save limited distribution information when it's available. No question where I got the image as it has the Fox logo on one corner and the pipeline company's logo on the map itself - probably not something they usually share but the guy looks like he's been up for many hours and showing this map may be an "Oops!" that gets corrected quickly. Whatever; I have a publicly published copy and I'll add the date and time and send it to the color printer. Much easier to do trouble investigation when the grid and the internet are still up.
Still no answers other than "6PM tomorrow". Guess I should bring up the Coleman stove, the propane burner kit and one propane cylinder for use in the morning. I should plan to nap on the sofa so I'll be more easily awakened when my better half wants breakfast in the morning. I can use a heating pad on its lowest setting as my source of heat and cover myself with the fleece throw. The masonry of the fireplace is still warm from having the gas logs on earlier in the evening so it won't be "cold" in here if the overnight low does hit its forecast 39F (4C). I should have several hours of recorded TV that I can watch/nap to...
---
"Jack? Jack. Jack!"
"Yes, love?"
"Why's the camp stove in the way in the kitchen?"
"Because we lost the natural gas feed just after midnight. It was fine when I baked the biscuits but a few minutes later the gas logs wouldn't work. The gas company's website had a message about the pipeline company having a problem with some of their pumping stations. The map I saw on foxnews.com and the maps on poweroutage.us looked like a concerted effort to shut down power to that pipeline."
"Could you get the Coleman pumped up for me?"
"Let me get up and get the kinks out."
---
"OK. You should be good for boiling a couple cups of water for tea and making an omelet. I'll light both burners and put the whistling teakettle and the small skillet in place. These are the propane burners so no pumping needed and there's no valve to turn when their generators are hot."
"Oh, yeah. I forgot that the 'liquid to light' and 'vapor to cook' sequence only applies to Coleman fuel or unleaded gas. Glad you were here to make it easy. How long will we be doing this?"
"The last 'time of restoration' guess I saw was 6PM today. One of us should check foxnews.com and the local gas company website for any updates."
"Cheddar and pepperoni omelet if you do the checking."
"You don't play fair!"
"Nope! I play to win. Coffee or Earl Gray with your omelet?"
"Earl Gray - there's enough water in the teakettle for both of us."
---
"And we get gas back when?"
"'Between noon and 10PM tomorrow' is the current crawl. Nothing official from anyone yet, but there are rumors of cyberterrorist hits on multiple power company facilities, all along that pipeline. Those outages put people in the dark and in the cold by taking out both power and natural gas. Long term, it would also affect propane because it travels over the same pipelines."
"Any response from the military?"
"DEFCON is up one level. They appear to be taking this more seriously than the utility companies or the politicians."
"That's scary. How long are we good for?"
"Two weeks of kerosene for the heater but I can get more today. 1-K for about $9/gallon at Wal-Mart and maybe that price in the five gallon can at Lowes. Appreciably cheaper if I get more five gallon cans and go to that gas station in the next county which still sells red kerosene. Our heater has a fiberglass wick so it's OK burning red kero."
"What about cooking?"
"I have the hose and regulator to use a 20lb tank with the Coleman stove. I can pick up two of those tanks while I'm out."
"The gas logs can also run on propane?"
"Yes, but their 30,000BTU output means they go through a 20lb tank in about 14 hours and a single 20lb tank doesn't have enough vapor pressure to provide that level of output unless the tank is in a warm space. For the long term, we'd need a 500 or 1000 gallon tank, preferably underground."
"About $5/gallon installed and filled?"
"Haven't checked lately. You should call Pete Townsend and get prices for purchased, not leased, tanks and for both above ground and underground installation. Judge Sam Craven's grandkids are staying with them while those kids' parents are spending a week in Hawaii and I'm sure he'd like to have better heat with a couple of kids in single digit ages in the house."
"Good enough reason for him to approve propane installation in an area that already has natural gas service?"
"Correct - and once it's approved, anyone else in that service area will also have that option."
"You'll be talking with Sam while you're out?"
"My first stop. I'm almost certain he'll have a positive answer as soon as he sees that the restoration time has been extended out another day."
"What?"
"On my phone..."
"That's the gas company's page?"
"Correct."
"OK, that's all the argument Sam will need. You convinced him that the battery-operated, dual-fuel gas logs were a better idea back when he was looking for some?"
"Took some tall talking to get him to go with those, but the three day power outage the week after he had the gas logs installed convinced him that they were the best possible option. I think he'll listen this time."
---
Knock! Knock!
"Hi, Jack. What can I do for you?"
"Sam, you can do something for the both of us and a lot of other people. Have you checked the gas company's page in the past hour?"
"No. Why?"
"Here's the latest on repair time."
"Another day? We're having a hard time keeping the grands warm with just the kerosene heater - and keeping the younger one from touching it."
"Ready to authorize propane tanks on the properties here?"
"Something you tried to get me to do a couple of years ago. It appears you were right again, Jack. I was paying attention, so I had my clerk draw up the forms and they just need my signature. Can you get enough copies for everyone who's interested?"
"While I'm out getting kerosene and propane, I'll drop this off for 50 copies and you can walk the neighborhood to ask for interested parties when I bring them back - it is an election year."
"And you see this as a way to have the people see me as a caring, community-oriented person."
"Is that good politics?"
"The best. What do I owe you?"
"If the forms don't allow underground or dual tank installation, add that. Then I'll get copies."
"The wording is 'above and/or below ground installation of one or more tanks as determined by the property owner'."
"You were paying attention!"
"Paying attention has paid off in the last three elections. I expect it to pay off again. My campaign manager has asked where I get these 'wild hare' ideas but he's learned that they work for this area. Thanks, Jack."
"You're welcome, Sam. See you in an hour or so."
---
The end.
My day has been running oddly, not having gotten to bed until 6AM. The better half woke me around 2PM when the outside temperature hit 70F (21C) - not very often in November - so I could paint the 10 gallon cast iron pot that's now a "flower bed" in its own right.
Got that done with just one minor injury - using the "ears" to turn the pot right side up after painting the bottom half got the middle finger of my right hand slightly crushed and definitely bruised. I was wearing gloves so no broken skin but there's an abraded area on the side of that finger: even with gloves on, it's a heavy pot. The bruising responded to the application of a baggie of ice for twenty minutes while I waited for the paint on the "ears" to dry and another twenty minutes of ice several times after the pot was back in place. That finger's still not happy while typing but the swelling is mostly gone.
It's approaching midnight and I'm ready for another meal, so the oven is set at 385F (196C) - package has "375 to 400F" - to bake some frozen "Mary B's" biscuits - now just 14 minutes away. "Sister Schubert" does good frozen yeast rolls, but "Mary B's" are the best frozen southern style biscuits I've tried - and I can fix just one or two in the toaster oven or get out the pizza stones and cook a couple dozen in the big oven. No zipper on their plastic bag, but if you cut the end neatly you can fold it down and use two wood clothespins for a good seal. The near-zero-degrees F (-18C) of the freezer has little impact on the wood clothespins but that cold can make the plastic clips brittle - especially if that cold clip falls to the ceramic tile floor.
What will I have with the biscuits? Have several options in honey: bamboo, blueberry, wildflower. Bamboo would be my first choice as I like the rich flavor of dark honey. There are also seedless blackberry preserves, orange marmalade and probably some raspberry jelly. Maybe grab some of the cooked and frozen applewood smoked bacon? Only takes 20-30 seconds per slice to have hot, crispy bacon from the microwave...
OK, the timer on the stove has started it's "Beep! Beep! Beep!" so time to check the biscuits.
Much warmer in the kitchen after having the gas-fired oven on for 30+ combined minutes of pre-heat plus cook time. Looks like I'll need to turn the pizza stone halfway through the biscuits' cooking time in the future as half the biscuits are fine but the other half are bit too brown on the bottoms - certainly not inedible but not "pretty". I'll also take advantage of grid power and get a quick cup of decaf coffee from the Keurig.
Now back to my writing place in the family room - and it's not as warm as the kitchen. I could go dig out a fan to move some warm air from the oven-warmed kitchen but the remote for the gas logs is right here and... The electronics think the ON button worked and we have fire from the gas logs, as the flame symbol is showing on the remote's display, but there was no "Thunk!" of the gas valve operating. That's odd, as the oven uses at least as much gas and it's only been off a few minutes. Go get the battery tester and check the four D cells for the gas logs' controller - and they're all at the high end of "Good". Open the firescreen doors and stick my head in to check the pilot on the gas logs... It's about two-thirds of its normal height so it's not getting the millivolt thermocouple hot enough. Did the gas meter die between turning off the oven and trying to light the gas logs or is it in the gas log piping or controls? Back to the kitchen and try a cooktop burner... Get the "Snap! Snap!" of the spark lighter but not enough gas for more than a flicker of flame. The gas pressure - or the lack of it - is the same across all appliances - good that I've already been through the shower as we won't have even slightly warm water in a few hours. Is it our meter or the supplier?
Unfortunately, the local gas provider doesn't have the same type of "localized outage" page as the electric co-op does but let's see if they have any information about a system problem on their home page. That page is taking its own sweet time about displaying... Is it my internet connection? No, as weather.com comes up at its usual speed. Maybe the gas company's site just has a lot of traffic? Back to it and the page starts with large red letters:
NOTICE!
The natural gas pipeline that supplies us is experiencing problems with their pumping facilities in several states. This has resulted in reduced pressure and flow in our service area. These problems are under investigation by their troubleshooters and they expect a resolution by 6PM tomorrow.
The natural gas pipeline that supplies us is experiencing problems with their pumping facilities in several states. This has resulted in reduced pressure and flow in our service area. These problems are under investigation by their troubleshooters and they expect a resolution by 6PM tomorrow.
6PM tomorrow? That doesn't help those who can't heat their houses tonight and who won't be able to cook breakfast or lunch tomorrow. What's our personal fallback for this? We have limited solar power plus a generator with two weeks of fuel for power outages but our backup for heating will be the kerosene heater in the garage. I have fuel for a couple of weeks out in the equipment shed, so we're probably better off than most of the neighbors. We could cook some things on the gas grill, but the Coleman camp stove with the aftermarket propane burners and a couple of one pound propane cylinders is probably the easiest option - it's almost like cooking with natural gas.
Well, my coffee got cold while I was researching and thinking but as long as we have grid power, it can be nuked fifteen seconds and be "just right" again.
Is the pipeline experiencing some maintenance issues or is this another computer ransom issue or... I should check poweroutage.us for the power status of states along that pipeline. There's a very low resolution map of the pipeline's "plumbing" network online but it's good enough to say which states the pipeline runs through and compare that with the poweroutage.us map.
poweroutage.us is slow? Are other people doing the same research I am to find out why they don't have natural gas for heating or cooking? Checking each state the pipeline runs through and noting the number of power outages on the pipeline map I printed, those states have "yellow" levels of power outages and the affected counties all seem to be along the pipeline.
Muslim terrorists? Antifa? BLM? Green New Deal? Cyberhackers? Anything on foxnews.com?
One of their talking heads is speaking with an engineer from the pipeline company who has a bigger and more detailed version of my power outage to pipeline overlay map and a list of possible causes/suspects - his map has the actual locations of the pumping stations and has lat/lon references on the edges. I need to pause that the next time it's full screen and do a screen capture... Got it! Now save that as "natural-gas-pipeline-map-pump-locations-power-feeds.jpg" for future reference. You should always collect and save limited distribution information when it's available. No question where I got the image as it has the Fox logo on one corner and the pipeline company's logo on the map itself - probably not something they usually share but the guy looks like he's been up for many hours and showing this map may be an "Oops!" that gets corrected quickly. Whatever; I have a publicly published copy and I'll add the date and time and send it to the color printer. Much easier to do trouble investigation when the grid and the internet are still up.
Still no answers other than "6PM tomorrow". Guess I should bring up the Coleman stove, the propane burner kit and one propane cylinder for use in the morning. I should plan to nap on the sofa so I'll be more easily awakened when my better half wants breakfast in the morning. I can use a heating pad on its lowest setting as my source of heat and cover myself with the fleece throw. The masonry of the fireplace is still warm from having the gas logs on earlier in the evening so it won't be "cold" in here if the overnight low does hit its forecast 39F (4C). I should have several hours of recorded TV that I can watch/nap to...
---
"Jack? Jack. Jack!"
"Yes, love?"
"Why's the camp stove in the way in the kitchen?"
"Because we lost the natural gas feed just after midnight. It was fine when I baked the biscuits but a few minutes later the gas logs wouldn't work. The gas company's website had a message about the pipeline company having a problem with some of their pumping stations. The map I saw on foxnews.com and the maps on poweroutage.us looked like a concerted effort to shut down power to that pipeline."
"Could you get the Coleman pumped up for me?"
"Let me get up and get the kinks out."
---
"OK. You should be good for boiling a couple cups of water for tea and making an omelet. I'll light both burners and put the whistling teakettle and the small skillet in place. These are the propane burners so no pumping needed and there's no valve to turn when their generators are hot."
"Oh, yeah. I forgot that the 'liquid to light' and 'vapor to cook' sequence only applies to Coleman fuel or unleaded gas. Glad you were here to make it easy. How long will we be doing this?"
"The last 'time of restoration' guess I saw was 6PM today. One of us should check foxnews.com and the local gas company website for any updates."
"Cheddar and pepperoni omelet if you do the checking."
"You don't play fair!"
"Nope! I play to win. Coffee or Earl Gray with your omelet?"
"Earl Gray - there's enough water in the teakettle for both of us."
---
"And we get gas back when?"
"'Between noon and 10PM tomorrow' is the current crawl. Nothing official from anyone yet, but there are rumors of cyberterrorist hits on multiple power company facilities, all along that pipeline. Those outages put people in the dark and in the cold by taking out both power and natural gas. Long term, it would also affect propane because it travels over the same pipelines."
"Any response from the military?"
"DEFCON is up one level. They appear to be taking this more seriously than the utility companies or the politicians."
"That's scary. How long are we good for?"
"Two weeks of kerosene for the heater but I can get more today. 1-K for about $9/gallon at Wal-Mart and maybe that price in the five gallon can at Lowes. Appreciably cheaper if I get more five gallon cans and go to that gas station in the next county which still sells red kerosene. Our heater has a fiberglass wick so it's OK burning red kero."
"What about cooking?"
"I have the hose and regulator to use a 20lb tank with the Coleman stove. I can pick up two of those tanks while I'm out."
"The gas logs can also run on propane?"
"Yes, but their 30,000BTU output means they go through a 20lb tank in about 14 hours and a single 20lb tank doesn't have enough vapor pressure to provide that level of output unless the tank is in a warm space. For the long term, we'd need a 500 or 1000 gallon tank, preferably underground."
"About $5/gallon installed and filled?"
"Haven't checked lately. You should call Pete Townsend and get prices for purchased, not leased, tanks and for both above ground and underground installation. Judge Sam Craven's grandkids are staying with them while those kids' parents are spending a week in Hawaii and I'm sure he'd like to have better heat with a couple of kids in single digit ages in the house."
"Good enough reason for him to approve propane installation in an area that already has natural gas service?"
"Correct - and once it's approved, anyone else in that service area will also have that option."
"You'll be talking with Sam while you're out?"
"My first stop. I'm almost certain he'll have a positive answer as soon as he sees that the restoration time has been extended out another day."
"What?"
"On my phone..."
"That's the gas company's page?"
"Correct."
"OK, that's all the argument Sam will need. You convinced him that the battery-operated, dual-fuel gas logs were a better idea back when he was looking for some?"
"Took some tall talking to get him to go with those, but the three day power outage the week after he had the gas logs installed convinced him that they were the best possible option. I think he'll listen this time."
---
Knock! Knock!
"Hi, Jack. What can I do for you?"
"Sam, you can do something for the both of us and a lot of other people. Have you checked the gas company's page in the past hour?"
"No. Why?"
"Here's the latest on repair time."
"Another day? We're having a hard time keeping the grands warm with just the kerosene heater - and keeping the younger one from touching it."
"Ready to authorize propane tanks on the properties here?"
"Something you tried to get me to do a couple of years ago. It appears you were right again, Jack. I was paying attention, so I had my clerk draw up the forms and they just need my signature. Can you get enough copies for everyone who's interested?"
"While I'm out getting kerosene and propane, I'll drop this off for 50 copies and you can walk the neighborhood to ask for interested parties when I bring them back - it is an election year."
"And you see this as a way to have the people see me as a caring, community-oriented person."
"Is that good politics?"
"The best. What do I owe you?"
"If the forms don't allow underground or dual tank installation, add that. Then I'll get copies."
"The wording is 'above and/or below ground installation of one or more tanks as determined by the property owner'."
"You were paying attention!"
"Paying attention has paid off in the last three elections. I expect it to pay off again. My campaign manager has asked where I get these 'wild hare' ideas but he's learned that they work for this area. Thanks, Jack."
"You're welcome, Sam. See you in an hour or so."
---
The end.
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