Story Over the Mountains and Through the Fire (Complete)

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 61

“I just don’t like it Rochelle. What do you want me to say? I’ve already made my arguments and now I’m asking you nicely do to as I say.”

I guess this point comes in every female’s life at some point. It was easy to obey Dad … I mean he was my dad and all. It was easy to obey Coach because he was coach. And when I was just plain ol’ Rocky, whether playing at being a guy or being my true female self, it was also pretty easy to obey Thor because he was the security boss, the most alpha of the . I haven’t a clue though why now that I was Rochelle and his significant other it was so blasted hard to give in on this one thing. It really wasn’t such a big thing but it was still bothering me. I was competitive and it really bothered me that I couldn’t exploit that. On the other hand when it came down to priorities maintaining my relationship with Thor was way more important than the momentary satisfaction of winning some game.

“Fine,” I told him but it wasn’t exactly a graceful concession.

“Rochelle … Hon …”

“Just forget it Thor. I sort of understand it, I do. But on the other hand it burns my biscuits that I have to basically cower in fear.”

He shook his head, “It’s not cowering in fear to use good sense and …” I threw him an angry look. “OK, poor choice of words. It’s strategy Hon. Right now there is a threat to your life and …”

“Thor there has been a threat to my life since before my birth. The doctors wanted my parents to terminate the pregnancy. They had me on a feeding tube in the beginning and people went to court to make the hospital remove it, luckily my metabolism stabilized and I was able to begin eating on my own. I’ve had all sorts of threats made against me for as long as I can remember. You can’t imagine I’ve forgotten San Francisco have you?! But I never let it stop me from being … being a real person and participating in life around me. When I do that …” I stopped and said more quietly and calmly, “When I do that … let the greenies and eco-freaks completely manipulate my life … I’ve no longer got a life to live.”

“You didn’t tell me who you were in the beginning,” he reminded me.

I put my hand on his arm to try and make him understand. “Thor that was about being female and had very, very little to do with being a GWB. I was more worried about what my fellow man would do to me because of my gender than what they would do if they found out I was a freak.”

“@#$% it, you aren’t a freak! Stop saying things like that. You are a tall, strong, beautiful woman … my tall, strong, beautiful woman … and by God I am not going to let anyone take you from me.”

I laughed a little carelessly and told him, “Look around Dude … you don’t exactly see anyone queuing up for the privilege do you? Besides, you said that it was about me being a GWB and not about being female.”

He crossed his arms and I could tell he was losing patience. “It’s both. You heard what Doc said. And maybe I am being a chauvinist and a caveman about the whole thing but you knew that about me from the beginning.”

I rolled my eyes and muttered, “That’s certainly true.” We gave each other dirty looks and then our lips twitched at the same moment. Blow up diverted but issue still present.

Thor drew me into his arms. “I know it’s not fair. I know you can do this and make a good showing whether you win or not. I know that I’m not being completely reasonable. …. But the fact of the matter is I don’t feel like being reasonable and I don’t feel like being fair. I know I can’t put you in a gilded cage and expect you not to rip the door off now and again and I know for a fact if our positions were reversed I would be less than pleasant about it. And !@#$ I was prepared for a real fight and to be honest I’m not sure I understand why I’m not getting one.”

I sighed, “I’m not too sure that I understand why I’m not giving you one except that for me when I agreed to spend the rest of my life with you the honor and obey thing kinda got mixed up in there somewhere too.” I shrugged before adding, “I trust you Thor. You’ve never given me a reason not to. I don’t have to like it all the time but I’ve agreed to give you authority in my life and until you prove me to be a fool for doing it I’ll go on trusting you and your judgment.”

Thor’s face went blank and he stepped back a couple of paces then scrubbed his face with one of his large hands. “Aw Hon, now I do feel like a heel.”

“Hey, that’s not what I meant,” I said feeling a little trapped by my own words.

“I know.” He worked the tension out of his shoulders and then said, “I’m sorry Rochelle. I wish … no I don’t. I don’t want you to play these games. I don’t want you to make yourself a target anymore than you might already be. I don’t want you to risk re-injuring that shoulder. But … I can’t ask you to do something I’m not willing to do. Let’s just pack up and leave.”

“You were looking forward to it too,” I said quietly, completely flummoxed.

“So were you. Let’s just head out and …”

“No,” I told him. “I’m a big girl Thor. And like I said, part of me does understand the logic behind your concerns. Nor can I complain about the potential danger the greenies represent with one side of my mouth and then with the other say and do things that only makes me a bigger target for them to notice. You play; the free food means we use less of our supplies … at least for a day or two. And if you win anything that’ll be jelly in the doughnut.”

He chuckled and shook his head. “Shouldn’t that be icing on the cake?”

“I’m not in the mood for cake, I want doughnuts. Mom used to make really good homemade doughnuts and fritters and I’ve been hankering for some, especially her jelly doughnuts. She’d poke a hole in them and then use a pastry bag to fill them with creams and jellies and stuff like that.”

Suddenly my chest got heavy and my eyes wanted to water and I turned away so that he couldn’t see … but he did anyway. “You OK?” he asked softly after putting his arms around me from behind.

“I just keep running up on these things and suddenly it hits me all over again that I’ll never see them. They aren’t going to be there when we get home. I won’t ever hear their voices again. Dad won’t ever say good job and pat me on the back and Mom won’t smile at me all soft and sweet. I won’t ever hear them say I love you again.” The tears fell anyway and I was unaccountably embarrassed by them. “I’m sorry … I’m just … just hormonal I guess.”

Thor whispered, “You’ve got me.”

I sniffled and wiped my eyes with the handkerchief he’d passed me and I told him honestly, “I know and it’s brought me the kind of comfort I don’t know if I can ever explain. I don’t want you to ever feel that just because I miss my folks that somehow it’s less important that you’re with me ‘cause that’s totally not true. I’m not with you just because I’m not with my folks. Do you understand?”

I turned around in his arms to look in his face to make sure that he understood. His eyes were serious but he was smiling too. “Sure Hon.”

We kissed a bit but only a bit. One I wasn’t exactly feeling amorous and for two because the first game that Thor had signed up for was starting soon. It was the standing stone put.

The rocks being used were all roughly the same size, shape, and weight. Most were river rocks worn smooth and round by who knows how many years of being washed and tumbled by the Cumberland River, but a couple were made of dry granite whose black and white pattern used to remind me of the Dominique hens my great grandmother liked to raise for the county fair.

Thor didn’t stand out from the competitors near as much as I thought he might. There was no one bigger but hardly any much smaller either. It tickled me for some reason that had to do with wondering if we were going to have a large brood and if we did what they might look like together in a group.

Most of the men, like Thor, had allowed their hair to grown below their collars and a beard to form. Some had obviously gone with this fashion for years as their braids and beards were long and well developed but some of them looked like they would be better off shaving the stringy things and starting over after giving the hair a chance to fill in the thin spots. Thor kept his trimmed back, though it was still long, for convenience since long hair and beards are dirt catchers as I was relearning the hard way. I mentioned cutting my hair again but decided against it when Thor went so far as to give me puppy dog eyes of all things. I told him that if I let my hair grow again then he was going to have to help me wash it. You can guess where his mind went then. Honestly. Men.

The object of the game was from a standing position the men were to “put” the rock as far as they could. It looked like the caveman version of the Olympic sport of shot put. Despite their similar sizes it became obvious from the first round that not all of the men were of equal strength, or maybe it was skill in that particular event. Thor wasn’t getting knocked out but he wasn’t the top scorer either; a red headed giant that seemed to be a local favorite was.

With each round the weight and size of the stone increased. Thor kept up and knowing what he’d done in the past I thought it strange that he wasn’t doing better. My competitive personality was irked until I realized he really could have been doing better. It took me three rounds, almost the whole game, before I realized he was holding back intentionally. He wasn’t winning because he chose not to win yet he was still putting a lot of pressure on the top players.

He came in second and I had to endure the woman beside me going ga-ga over the local guy and then she said, “Guess that big guy isn’t so much after all. I knew Marcus would show him up. What do you think of that?” I had obviously been on Thor’s cheer squad which had not made the little queen bee very happy.

“Oh probably about the same thing that you would think if someone said that about your man,” I told her genially but my eyes said something a little more dangerous.

“Oh. … Oh!” and she decided to vacate the area when Thor came over and kissed me.

“Hmmm,” was all I said with an upraised eyebrow.

A grin split his face when he realized I’d caught him out. When I shook my head and rolled my eyes at his tomfoolery he let out a loud belly laugh that got a lot of people’s attention. Losers weren’t often in that good of a mood but I could tell he’d just had fun playing against opponents that weren’t push overs.

We went back to our camp so Thor could take a rest and change his soaking with sweat shirt but before long we went back to where they’d set up for the wrestling matches. Few of the men that had participated in the rock throwing were signed up for this one although a couple were, including the local favorite. I thought Thor was going to throw his matches again but he surprised me. The local guy went down in the third round and he and Thor never even touched the same ring. I felt free to whistle and hoot with complete abandon when he was declared the winner.

There was a lot of back pounding by the men and unnecessary attention by some of the local lasses before we were able to break off to let Thor go wash up again. “Whew, you are odiferous,” I laughed.

That only made him growl playfully and chase me around a couple of the vendors’ tables. “Sugar, if I had me a man like that I wouldn’t be running from him,” one of the little gray haired old ladies laughed.

“You hear? You’re supposed to let me catch you,” Thor said with a wicked grin.

“Uh huh … maybe in the end … but until then you’ll need to work a little harder for the privilege if you please … and take a wash. You smell like an old boar hound that’s rolled in something it shouldn’t have.” His obviously false outrage made us all laugh and we finally headed to camp in a straight line.

When we got there Thor flopped down on the tailgate of the wagon and said, “Hon, bring me a pitcher of water and some soap please.”

“Oh Thor, I was just jokin’. You don’t have to do this,” I told him concerned that I’d gone too far in my playing.

He smiled and asked, “You mean I don’t stink?”

“Well … you do … but everyone smells. Why be different?” I made a face because it was true. I tried to be upwind of people whenever possible and there was more than one reason why crowds just didn’t do it for me anymore.

“You don’t,” Thor said.

“Don’t what?”

“Stink.”

“I’m a girl you goof.”

Thor gave me the raised eyebrow. “Well … ‘girl’ … that you may be but I’ve seen you work up a good sweat too. And you don’t stink.”

“Honestly,” I said, thoroughly embarrassed by the subject.

“I’m waiting. What’s your secret?”

Blushing I told him, “Cornstarch, baking soda, and powdered rosemary.”

He barked a laugh and asked, “What?!”

“Look, I haven’t been able to use that aluminum based and perfumed junk from the stores for a long time. When I first played ball and … well, you know … I was sweating like one of the boys … and smelling like one of the boys too. My sweat glands worked overtime. And of course I was bigger and went through puberty early so everything was exaggerated. Some of the girls used to … make fun of me. I started carrying a stick of antiperspirant and deodorant in my purse and put it on every chance I got and developed some crazy sensitivity to the stuff. I would get these big, painful boils in my pits.”

“Ouch,” Thor said sympathetically. “I’ve had a few of those myself … from salt and from heat.”

“Yeah, they ain’t fun that’s for sure. So anyway my grandmothers and Mom showed me what women used to do … keep your pits and the rest of your hot spots clean and be extra careful when your hormones are in overdrive … and I got to make my own special deodorant up. During the summer I used cornstarch to help beat heat rash, baking soda for odor, and rosemary because it fights bacteria which is really the smelly part of the equation. During the cooler months I’d use a wet deodorant made of witch hazel and glycerin with maybe a couple of drops of essential oil mixed in.”

He looked intrigued, “Who woulda thunk it? Mouthwash for your pits.”

I threw my hat at him and said, “Geez Louise, no one will ever complain that you’re overly refined will they.”

When he threatened to throw his smelly shirt on me I threatened to throw the pitcher of water on him and right as we were about to have a fun tussle a voice broke in, “Excuse me, I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

It was one of the judges from the wrestling match. “You forgot your prize.” Two men were behind him, one carrying a hundred-pound bag of potatoes and the other a square bale of hay though it looked like poor quality stuff with lots of weeds mixed in.

The two men set their load down then they, the judge, and Thor began talking amongst themselves like I didn’t even exist. Typical. But that was fine with me; I was still a little embarrassed to be caught acting the fool. Then I realized I would have to find places for both in our already loaded wagon. I looked at the wagon and then looked at the two additions and mentally groaned. I was wondering how many potatoes we could eat a day and just how angry my horse was going to be when he felt the added weight he was going to be asked to pull.

The next part was my fault and I admit it. I wasn’t thinking, at least not about unintended consequences. I knew we needed to get going shortly because Thor was in the knife throwing competition and that was one I was eager to see as well as it would be going on at the same time as the ax and hatchet throwing competition. If I couldn’t participate I at least wanted to watch. But before we could go the potatoes and hay would need to be put away. I picked up the sack of potatoes and put it on my shoulder and then grabbed the bale of hay with my free hand and walked to the wagon. I swung the potatoes into the back and secured them with the tarp then tied the hay bale onto the back of the wagon and hoped Thor’s horse wouldn’t take to nibbling on it too much.

Suddenly I realized it was real quiet and I turned around slowly. Thor looked resigned while the other three men just sort of stood there with their mouths hanging open.

Trying to save the situation I said, “What? You expected me just to leave something so valuable sitting in the dust? Do I look stupid to you?” I inwardly winced at having forgotten that Thor hated that phrase.

“Uh … uh … uh …,” was all that came out of one guy’s mouth.

The judge however was made of tougher stuff and said, “No ma’am and pardon us for staring. We … er … just aren’t quite used to … um …”

Taking pity on him I said, “A farmer’s daughter getting her chores done? Surely that can’t be the case.”

“Well … no … not … not exactly,” the judge replied.

However, one of the other men was less circumspect about it. “My Lord woman … you part ox or somethin’?”

I stepped in front of Thor and pushed the other guy out of his rich just in time. Thor said, “You’ll apologize to my wife or I’ll rip your !@#$ head off.”

“Thor!”

“No. I’ve had it,” he said. “I’m getting sick and tired of people saying things like that just because you are a little bit of a tomboy.”

What he’d said had me so startled I nearly couldn’t play my part. “I’m no shrinking violet and if I feel I need to take up for myself I will. It’s just a plain fact that people in our two families are big is all and that I was always more comfortable rough housing with my boy cousins than dreaming about prom dresses and such.”

“Well If I had wanted a woman that I was afraid of breaking every time I wanted a little rough housing myself I would have picked a Barbie doll. As it is, it took me long enough to convince you I was serious and I’m not having …”

The man that had unwisely opened his mouth said, “Well, I apologize. Didn’t have no call saying such a thing. Fact is my sister’s a big girl and … well … I wouldn’t want anyone saying words like that to her either.”

I didn’t know whether he was apologizing ‘cause he really meant it or because Thor looked like Beelzebub and appeared ready to demonstrate he was still up for a little more wrestling. I put on my best southern belle and said, “Apology accepted. I’m sure it’s just been quite a day for you gentleman and everyone could do with a bit of a break. Thor? Let me break out the little bit of cider we have left. Please?”

His eyes warned me I was going a little too far but his mouth also twitched a bit. “Humph. I supposed. I could use a drink myself but …”

“Oh I know, I know. No hard stuff for me under the circumstances.” I rolled my eyes like I was used to his heavy handed male attitude and let the men think whatever they wanted to. I thought Thor was going to swallow his own teeth trying not to let his mouth fall open. Whatever he had been about to say it hadn’t been that but I figured in for a penny in for a pound and this way I’d have an excuse for not participating in the games after all.

I pulled out the small ceramic jug that had the apple jack in it and it wasn’t long before the three men were slapping Thor on the back and were great admirers of him, my unusual display completely forgotten.

After the men left full of good cheer I handed another t-shirt to Thor and said, “Oh brother, I thought they’d never leave. We’re going to be late.”

“Then don’t be so hospitable next time though this time I think it was just right … Mrs. Thoresen.”

Thor laughed when I turned bright red and ducked my head. “Give me a kiss … for luck?”

I gave him a kiss then told him, “You don’t need luck. I’ve seen you play with those blades you pack around.” He just grinned ‘cause he knew how good he was.

We walked over and wound up being just in time. Thor wound up having to hold back a bit in the beginning but as men fell out of play it wound up being Thor against some rather dangerous looking men that weren’t in the least been willing to be amused. They talked some trash and Thor became much less willing to hide his prowess.

One right after the other the bad mannered, foul mouthed cretins were knocked out of the running but I could see they were congregating on the side line getting more and more wound up.
 

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 62

Then it was down to Thor and another guy who was sweating bullets. I didn’t know whether he was sweating because of the competition or from the leather get up he was wearing. The thing is, if you look you can tell a poser from the real deal and this guy … he was the real deal. Then something else caught my attention on the opposite side of the competition area … new comers. Only, these guys weren’t with the first ones, you could tell by the insignias. And they made the first group of baddies nervous and agitated.

I wasn’t the only one that had noticed and I took a step back and tilted my head a bit so that I could hear what was being said by two of the game officials.

“Why couldn’t they all have just died off?” the first one muttered.

“We wouldn’t be that lucky,” the other answered.

“Get the watchers ready, there’s going to be trouble. I can feel it in my bones,” ordered the first one.

“Already done. But think on this Bart, we ain’t gotta handle them with kid gloves any more. We tried the live and let live way and they’ve thrown it back in our face. Now if they use anything approaching deadly force and it’s not going to be a earthly judge they are standing before but the Heavenly One.”

I sensed rather than saw the first one’s nod while he said, “That’s true, that’s true. But I don’t want no innocent bystanders hurt in the process.”

“Looks like most of the people from around here have recognized the problem and are backing away slowly. The panic won’t come unless there’s trouble and that will mostly be from non-locals.”

“Still …” I stopped listening. I’m sure that Thor was already aware of the situation but I wasn’t going to just stand in the shadows and not do anything if it came down to it.

My hatchet was on my belt as was my Bowie as I’d dressed before Thor had made his decree. Neither one would appear to be much use in a battle but I also had my pistol, the wagon shotgun, and I was holding Thor’s rifle as well. The problem lay in that my potential enemy was just as well armed and likely more experienced in fighting than I was. My size and strength was an asset if it came down to a one-on-one brawl but I was no more interested in getting a knife wound than one from a bullet.

While I was trying to keep myself positioned to cover Thor’s back the two opposing groups of men were starting to crowd each other and in the process kept getting in my way. Then I heard a nasty female voice behind me say, “Your man is dog food.”

The menace in that voice chilled me but it also hardened the last little bit of softness left in me. I couldn’t afford to look away from the events unfolding in front of me so without turning around I calmly told her, “You or anyone else touch Thor and they’re fertilizer.”

“Thor? You ain’t Buff’s b!@#$?” she asked surprised.

“Not this side of Hell’s gate,” I snorted, extremely affronted at the very idea.

“You and that other ‘un huh?” the voice said less antagonistically.

“Yeah.”

“Hate to be the one to tell you but you’re about to be a widow. Buff don’t take losing well at all.” Of course she really didn’t sound sorry to be the bearer of such news, actually seemed to be enjoying herself too much.

I snorted again at how cartoonish her behavior was. “Buff better find a brain. Thor’s a professional and those other guys don’t even start to compare. Warn your people to stay out of his way, ‘specially that curly headed kid that looks like he might want to prove something. You guys are welcome to whatever’s left.”

“You’re bragging awful big,” she said obviously not knowing the truth when she heard it.

I shrugged and said, “Just keep on thinking that for as long as you can if it makes you feel better.”

I could tell the rubber band was close to snapping and it irritated me that I had to split my attention between what was in front of me and the little trollop behind me. I didn’t have long to wait for either one to finally snap. I felt the female behind me move at the same time as Buff’s men rushed the field. I turned fast putting an elbow into her temple and grabbing her hand with the shank with my free hand. I’m not sure how much damage I had intended to do but my hand was bigger and stronger than hers and I basically crushed it and wrenched it all out of shape when I ripped the blade from her. She’d stupidly fashioned a weapon that was shaped a bit like brass knuckles; it had finger holes and a fold out blade like it came from some novelty shop. She fell to her knees stunned and keening in pain, cradling her bleeding appendage.

Chaos reigned as I looked around for Thor and saw him in a fight for his life. I was so done playing nice. The shotgun sprang into my hands like it had always been there and I pumped several rounds into the crowd of men whooping it up and cheering, thinning their ranks considerably.

Then I moved in and people were too close to use a gun effectively so I pulled the hatchet with one hand and the Bowie with the other. I wasn’t out to kill anyone, but if they got in my way as I waded through the mass to get to Thor I wasn’t above maiming them. I used the back of the heavy hatched and the butt of the Bowie when I could but it wasn’t always possible. I heard more screaming than I care to remember.

I finally made it to Thor and we stood back to back. Sure enough that curly headed kid wanted to earn his colors and was aiming right for us. And just as surely as I had warned the woman that it was a bad idea to mess with Thor, the kid learned the same thing in double measures.

Obviously we weren’t the only two fighting; it wasn’t us against the golden horde or anything unbelievable like that but between the two of us we kept the ones after us at bay and then finally put enough of them down to turn the tide for ourselves and have them on the run. The locals were doing their own share of damage to the baddies. A few of the baddies gave up but many seemed intent on trying to escape or possibly regroup to come back in a more organized attack. That’s when Thor took his rifle from me and put a period to the ones that got beyond the reach of the last local authorities.

It never ceased to surprise and amaze me for some reason just how good Thor was and to wonder yet again why this man picked me of all the women he could have had with so little effort. He managed the local authorities like he’d had a lot of practice at it, which he probably had considering his former job. He even managed the admiring looks from the local females without getting a big head which told me he had a lot of practice at that. It made me feel small to be so jealous but at the same time I knew Thor was giving me any reason to feel that way. Maybe it was a reaction to the day’s events, maybe I really was being hormonal, but either way I both wanted to get away from everyone including Thor yet I couldn’t seem to get more than a couple of feet from him before I got the shakes.

There was clean up of course and Thor and I were part of the crews trying to put things to right since we’d helped to make a lot of the mess. Surprisingly few locals had sustained serious injury but they had a medical station set up and both of us visited it to get the cuts and bruises we’d sustained seen to and cleaned out; no sense taking chances … or using our own supplies when we didn’t have to.

From town gossip we found out that the two groups of baddies were known in these parts. The local cops had been good about keeping them in check prior to that year but when things went south and so many law enforcement officers died in the following riots and sicknesses their membership grew and they started getting out of hand. The groups migrated through the area as they went in smaller and smaller circles gathering the fewer and fewer illegal products they generated in their backwoods drug labs, committing other heinous acts in the process.

One man whose brother had been a county deputy told us, “They started running out of supplies the same time the rest of us did. We thought it would stop giving them a reason to be violent and turn their energies to planting and growing real food instead of weed but it didn’t. We even left them alone and agreed to ‘legalize’ all drugs and drug use with the thinking the violence and waste of manpower would stop for us. That didn’t stop the violence either. Their drug trade was just an excuse. People like this … they never stop. At least not until someone plants them hard and deep.”

One of the worst moments for me came when I heard they’d had to do several amputations from my shotgun blasts and also suspected they’d have to eventually amputate the hand of the woman that tried to stab me in the ribs. I hadn’t been using slugs but at that range the violence of the blasts still could destroy bone and medical attention had returned to the era of the US Civil War “saw bones.”

Thor’s philosophy was pretty simple. “Today was war. They made a choice to become our enemy. They’re responsible for the results. Our goal is survival and we have just as much right as they do to seek it.”

I knew he was correct from a certain perspective but I also knew that I was a product of a war for all that it had been called a “Green War” and would never be able to ignore or take lightly the potential for unintended consequences no matter how valid my position from a human perspective. I would always question whether the end justifies the means. When I stand before God for the final judgment and answer for my works, how will He view what I’ve done and what I haven’t done?

I knew I was saved, that wasn’t one of the questions that ate at me on days like this. I had a problem with reconciling my chosen warrior lifestyle with what I thought should have been my choices if I was “Christian enough” starting all the way back when I fell in love with football. It became so much of my life I had to stop on occasion and evaluate my actions for a couple of different reasons. I’d learned to accept – well mostly – that I was born different. I’d learned to honestly concede that my gender sometimes came in conflict with my talents. I had to figure out what kind of example I was setting and how that affected my witness as a Christian.

Those questions continued to ring true with me. What I could never learn to be was complacent. Questions were as much of a natural part of me as my height was. It meant that sometimes I didn’t fit, and could bring up uncomfortable issues. Sometimes though I knew I needlessly complicated things instead of just turning them over to God but I was still learning and figured I’d probably go on learning until I hit the Pearly Gates.

Thor and I had returned to camp to allow the last bit of adrenaline to drain away and to gather our thoughts when we found that he had been declared the winner of the competition by default even though the last round hadn’t been played. I wondered how on earth people had even had time to consider the issue but I guess the games were really important to folks in those parts. The pig that was supposed to be the prize had been killed and all of the other prizes had already been presented so in place of the pig and because we took out a large number of the baddies after we were the victim of their unprovoked attack Thor was given the rights to first dibs on the belongings of the two gangs.

There was absolutely no way we could have hauled off everything in the two camps. There was absolutely no way would I have wanted to either. When we visited the two places the next day, after the locations had been “acquired” from a couple of the surviving gang members, it was like walking into a dump or junk yard. I’d been around some trashy home sites but never anything quite like we found. All I could say is that they’d at least been smart enough to dig their cat holes well away from camp and their water source.

I left it up to Thor to go through the weapons and ammo and other weaponry since that was his specialty. Most of the good weapons had been taken off of the gang members when they were captures but there were still some in the camp. I looked through everything else and it was certainly a motley collection of junk. I set aside the little bit of sealed food there was and turned all of the open bags and containers over to the town reps that had come with us. I also grabbed a second coffee percolator, an extra cast iron skillet and one of the biggest cast iron dutchies that I had ever seen. It dwarfed what we had in the wagon and was even bigger than the biggest one that we used when we had field hands during harvest time. The thing almost looked like a cauldron when the lid was off and no one seemed to have any idea where it could have come from.

If I’d had more time and space I might have taken a few other things for barter or trading but those two commodities were in short supply. That isn’t to say we didn’t get some treasures. Thor was happy to take the ammo that fit our weapons and some of the other calibers for, as he called it, just in case. I was happy to finally find a warmer coat for Thor. It was beat up and ratty, needed cleaning and some tailoring, but it gave me a shell to work with which was more than I’d had to start with. And we both got a couple of extra pairs of boots.

What we didn’t keep was also useful. We traded some of the scrap metal to a blacksmith who had a brother that was a Ferrier and had him look at our horses. They needed some serious hoof care from all of our travelling. The man told us, “Cain’t and won’t tell you your business but if you keep pushing these animals one of ‘em is going to wind up lame. You’re lucky they ain’t got sensitive feet or you’d had trouble with ‘em before now what with all that traveling on concrete and pulling this loaded wagon. And I heard you say you’re headin’ east which means steep grades.”

He was right and we both knew it. That afternoon we sat down with the maps and tried to figure out some type schedule and to solidify our route. After all was said and done we’d stayed in Williamsburg several more days than we had intended but we had gained some benefit from it so I tried not to worry. I had washed all of our clothes and bedding as well as the jacket that I’d found for Thor and just in time too.

The morning we got back on the road wasn’t a record breaker but it was still surprisingly cool for September. Worse it was damp as a heavy fog lay over everything.

“Looks like home,” I told Thor.

“You walk around in pea soup often did you?” Thor asked playfully.

I rolled my eyes and said, “You have no idea.”

It was midmorning before we left the clingy, patchy stuff all the way behind. We made it to Yaden, Kentucky and then to Dixie where we agreed it was time to stop for the day. Neither one of us was happy that we’d barely made eleven miles that day, even with an early start but it was what it was and we had to live with it.

We’d seen next to no one as we had travelled though we had occasionally smelled smoke which meant there were people near. Thankfully the day and that night were uneventful. We weren’t quite as lucky when it came to a camping site. That morning everything was damp and we couldn’t just pack up and haul away.

“Thor,” I said trying to get his attention. It was one of those mornings when you tread light around a man who is missing his coffee.

He grumbled a, “What?”

“I think it might be better if we tried to sleep in the wagon from here on out, at least so long as the weather is going to be like this. It’ll save time packing up since we won’t have to let everything dry out.”

All I got was a rumble in return but that night when we stopped in Siler after another ten mile day I did my best to arrange it so we’d have a comfortable bed. I thought to soothe his nerves with a little personal attention but he simply rolled over and went to sleep leaving me wondering exactly what was going on. I found out the next morning when I woke before he did to hear an odd wheezing noise mixed in with his snores.

“Thor! Why didn’t you tell me you weren’t feeling good,” I told him sharply.

“Stop yammering at me, I feel fine.” The fact that the statement was punctuated with a wet cough made me just stand there looking at him with my hands on my hips.

“Yeah, you sound fine all right. Here, I found some unopened Mucinex mixed in with the hallucinogenics at one of the camps. They must have robbed a drug store early on and just taken whatever fell off the pharmacist’s shelves.”

“I don’t need …”

“Thor, I’m out of patience with your he-man stuff. A wet chest is nothing to fool with, especially now that cooler weather is setting in. I’ll let you do all of the security planning and strategy but trust me, on this I know better. You are used to the dry weather of the Middle East, you’ve forgotten how bad winter colds can be and with no doctors …”

He said sharply, “Oh all right … just get off my back already. You’re giving me a headache.”

I knew I wasn’t the one giving him a headache. More than likely it was sinus pressure or lack of good rest. I didn’t blame him for the headache, I was however getting irritated at his attitude. I also made him drink some ginger and honey tea. He was hacking up globs of gunk and blowing his nose so often that he went through all of the clean bandanas we had but by that night he was all cleared up.

He took the soup I handed him and said rather sheepishly, “Sorry Hon, don’t know what came over me.”

I decided it wasn’t worth making him feel any more guilty than he already did so I just said, “Hey, if you can handle the occasional bought of PMS from me then I don’t see why I shouldn’t be overlook the occasional crankiness for you. Now eat your soup and then get some rest. I’ll take first watch since I have to wash a few things anyway.”

“I’ll do that since I dirtied them up.”

I shook my head, “No you won’t. You’ll get some rest like I politely asked you to. You want to get rid of this and not set yourself up for a relapse.” A little grumbling followed but he did as I asked and by the next morning he seemed to be his old self though he could have still used some more rest.

That day was a hard one. We had no choice but to head due south down 190 and cross into Tennessee before turning northeast again Hamlin Town, heading back into Kentucky and stopping for the night in Fonde. It made for a fifteen mile day and man, woman, and beast were all extremely tired.

“One more day Hon and then I think we’ll need to take a break for the horses if nothing else.” Thor’s gravel voice registered fatigue and I continued to worry that he was trying to relapse no matter how many times he claimed to feel so much better.

“Sounds good. If we can I want to find a barn, warehouse, or garage to stay in. We need to get out of this damp and so do the horses.”

God blessed us and we made good time the next day. We’d thought only to go as far as Edgewood but we made it all the way to Cumberland Gap and even through the park. I suggested and Thor agreed that we stay in the Wilderness Road campground and picnic area. It wasn’t easy but I maneuvered us to the furthest group picnic site and we rearranged the tables and used the space to keep the worst of the damp off of us and the horses.

The next day I left Thor sleeping in camp and went exploring down at the visitor center to see what I could find. He was mad as the dickens when I got back but mollified when I told him what I’d found and even went so far as to snuggle for a bit.

“You know this doesn’t excuse you going off on your own,” Thor said.

I sighed, “Yeah. But look, we are trying to rest the horses and you need to finish getting over that chest cold. At the same time we should take advantage of what salvage we can. I left you a detailed note and this time it panned out.”

“This time,” he said.

I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes. I’d been hiking the Smokies for most of my life, with and without my dad for company. It was hard to suddenly change the way I did things but for Thor I would try. “OK. I get your point. I’m just used to being more independent.”

“It’s not about independence Hon,” he said, understanding my viewpoint despite not agreeing with it. “The world is a different place. I know this is closer to what you have grown up with as far as landscape but you need to remember that more than ever because of it. The people are going to be different … perhaps even those you know, those you used to call friends. You can’t know for sure so you need to be more careful, think further ahead.”

I did understand but there were times understanding that only made me want to kick over my traces even more. Nevertheless I told him, “It won’t happen again.”

He shook his head, “I’m not your crew boss Hon and I’m not your father. I love you and life as I knew it would be over without you in it. I only want you to be careful … for both our sakes.”

I hugged him realizing I had scared him more than made him angry. “I said it won’t happen again. Even if I want to head off and explore on my own I hope I’m considerate enough to keep my word for your sake.” We hugged to seal the deal and then turned back to going through what I’d managed to haul back … after I started a percolator pot of coffee.

The coffee was only one of the things that I found by scavenging through the desks and credenzas I found in the “staff only” sections of the visitor centers. Along with the coffee were packets of sugar and powdered creamer, some of those fancy “international” coffee blends, napkins and paper cups. In the area that housed the cleaning supplies I found a couple of boxes of feminine hygiene products, liquid soap, gallon jugs of “all natural” type cleaners and a couple of plain old bleach as well. There weren’t too many paper towels since the bathrooms had used the blowers to dry with but there were some commercial rolls of toilet paper that fairly had me dancing a jig when I found them.

“I’d like to take the horses down and get the rest of the supplies that I couldn’t haul back by hand. It will give me the rest of the day to try and arrange the stuff in the wagon.”

“Is there going to be room? And if room isn’t a problem what about weight?”

“I’ll manage it. We are eating the potatoes at almost every meal … and yes I know you are getting a little tired of them but it’s what we’ve got for now to keep our carb levels up to balance out the protein of the wild game we are eating. If I can put up with eating tree rat all the time you can eat potatoes. Anyway,” I continued after being interrupted by Thor’s unspoken complaint. “I’ve made up my mind to leave that ridiculous dutchie. It takes up too much room and weighs too much. I’d rather cook in two or three dutchies at the same time than try and deal with that monster.”

“You sure? You were awful excited to have found it,” Thor reminded me. “We leave it behind there won’t be any coming back for it.”

“It was a case of my eyes being bigger than my stomach … or in this case my good sense. It’s too much of a novelty to really be useful on a regular basis.”

So it was decided. We went back down to where I had found everything and it took three loads with both horses to bring everything up. It wasn’t just the food and cleaning items though that would have been treasure enough. There were a few clothing items that fit Thor and I snagged them to add to his cold weather wardrobe. We were still missing long johns and good socks but I was hoping to find a clothier that carried backwoods gear along the way.

There were also some things in the gift shop that I took though I felt guilty for it every time I passed the cash register because they weren’t strictly necessities. And I grabbed all of the office supplies. From a locked cabinet Thor took several boxes of shotgun shells though the shotgun they were meant for wasn’t to be found anywhere on the premises.

“It’s weird how untouched this place is,” I said that night as we sat warming by our campfire.

“Maybe not. You saw how trashed Middlesboro was. They had some kind of staging going on at the hospital and airport but whatever they were trying to contain escaped and ran rampant. Those two churches were loaded down with bodies, like they knew they were going to die and just wanted to do it someplace sacred. When I saw that I would have detoured if the option had existed. No telling how long some of the nasties that were released are going to hang around in the environment waiting to strike the unwary.”

“Now that’s a comforting thought,” I told him and flicked a twig at him.

“Yeah, I thought it would be,” he told me flicking the piece of debris right back.

I sighed and looked at the amazingly star-filled sky. “I wonder how many people are seeing stars like this for the first time.”

Thor scooted closer and we just enjoyed each other’s company, him with the last cup of coffee from the pot and me with a bug of hot chocolate that had come from the same credenza. Then Thor said, “We’ll take the Wilderness Road tomorrow. You ever been on it?”

“Sure, it’s … well I don’t know if you’ll call it a main thorough fair exactly but it is one of the primary byways. We’ll leave the Daniel Boone portion of it in Bristol and then take the Frontier Trail route.” I tried to think of what he’d want to know about it but about all I could think about was tomorrow we would enter Virginia.

Sensing my thoughts Thor asked, “Excited?”

“And scared,” I admitted. “I know things will have changed and I know there will be a ton of work when we do finally reach home. I want to hurry up but at the same time I’m not sure I’m ready for what I’ll have to face.”

“You think … I mean you did say you had other family.”

“They haven’t lived in Damascus for a few years. None of my cousins could handle it. It is a very small town that has a population explosion a couple of times a year when the big trail expos occur. You have to be able to put up with strangers just walking up to you asking directions and stupid questions. People get lost on the trails fairly regularly; they even manage it on the biking trails though I’ve never quite figured that one out.”

“Do they live close enough? Do you want to check on them?”

I honestly wasn’t sure. Part of me said I had the obligation to and another part of me remembered how some of them had treated me and my parents over the years.

“My aunt lives in Ewing. We’ll have to pass right by her turnoff to get home. I guess it’s about twenty miles from here. I wouldn’t mind saying hello to her and my cousin Edgard … if he’s around don’t call him Eddie ‘cause he hates it … but Cellie and Dart are a couple of pieces of work and ranked me right up there with pig snot. They were embarrassed by me because I was so different and they hated that our grandmothers pretty much told them to get over it since they were older than I was by several years and should be mature enough to handle it.”

“The more I hear about your grandmothers the more I wish I could have met them.”

“Yeah, they were something all right,” I said smiling at some of my memories. “Mom was a gentler soul but still managed to fit into Dad’s rough and tumble family, and they adored her for not being judgmental. Me, I took more after Dad’s side of the family personality-wise and the two old ladies got a kick out of it. As for any other family, I don’t know. They aren’t along the route we’ve got planned right now except for a couple of Mom’s cousins in Abington. Just … let’s play it by ear. I suppose it is better to know than not but at the same time I’d rather not have to deal with that stuff if I … we … don’t have to.”

“You tell me if you want to stop and I’ll stand by you.”

I leaned back into his chest and we wound up sharing a lap blanket to ward off the little bit of chill in the air. “But you wanted to know about the Wilderness Road. I’m hoping we can make it as far as Wilderness Road State Park tomorrow and Ewing the day after that. Highway 58 is actually a good road because of all of the historical stuff it goes by but very rural in feel at least until you get to Bristol. We’ve got a few days to get there though so I’m not sure how far you want this description to go.”

I could feel Thor nod. “OK, what about food, water and places to stop?”

“A decent number of springs and creeks if you know where to look. That’s one of the reasons I got those hiking and topo maps from the gift store. We’re still going to need to keep the water barrel topped off as often as we can but we’ve been doing that all along. Places to stop? There are plenty of those assuming not everything is inhabited. If worse comes to worse I could always chop firewood in exchange for space in a barn or back acreage.”

“I want to avoid people as much as possible,” Thor said.

“I don’t know if we’ll be able to do that around here but we’ll give it a try. Even if we see people it won’t mean that those people will want to talk to us. Mountain people can be funny.”

My lifemate chuckled and said, “That is true the world over. Richards used to complain that that it was the altitude and thin oxygen that did it.”

“You miss ‘em?” I asked after he’d gotten quiet.

“It hasn’t hit me yet. Right now is like a vacation or a temporary assignment. I figure this winter, once we’re settled in I’ll feel it more.”

Wondering I asked, “Have you ever been cooped for a winter? Sometimes not even able to get outside much?”

“No, can’t say as I have.”

I warned him, “Some people don’t take to it. They get bored and stir crazy.”

Rather than taking me seriously he gave me a wicked grin. “I doubt I’ll be bored. There will be too much else to hold my attention.”

Well that pretty much ended that conversation and we headed to bed when a heavy mist started to form and roll in. Thor was asleep almost instantly, still recovering whether he admitted it or not. I had a much harder time of it. Seeing Aunt Belle would be … something. She tried to be nice to me but she was always so wrapped up in her own problems that we just never made much of a connection. Edgard was closer to my age and he and I had had football in common as well as scouting, but he had been away at college and I wasn’t sure whether he would have been able to make it home or not. Mostly I knew from that point forward was when I had to start facing old faces, old places, and old fears. But at least I wasn’t having to face them alone. I had Thor and that made all the difference.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 63

The next night in the state park I was going nuts. I had the fidgets so bad I couldn’t settle for love or gold. I dreaded what I’d find in Ewing no matter what it turned out to be. It was so bad that when I tried to clean the carcasses of the tree rats that Thor brought me I did a real hatchet job and ruined them for much of anything.

I wasn’t so bad however that I was willing to show the mess to Thor so I quickly changed the menu to Squirrel Fried Rice. I had rice left over from breakfast that I had intended to make rice cakes out of but instead, after cooking the squirrel meat, I put it in a hot skillet that I’d melted some bacon grease in and then added some chopped wild onions, a little diced and cooked smoked bacon, and a restaurant packet’s worth of soy sauce. It was a little high in sodium but I hadn’t seasoned the squirrel as I was cooking it so it balanced flavor-wise.

That night I awoke from three different nightmares, all three ending with my relatives – whether dead or alive – blaming me for my parents’ deaths.

“Hon! Wake up. This is the third time you’ve moaned in your sleep like that. And are you …?! You’re crying this time! Rochelle, it it’s this bad do you really want to stop tomorrow?” Thor was worried about me. I could hear it in every syllable, feel it in his arms as he held me.

“If I don’t face the fear now, I may never find the courage. Besides, I need to know. Either way I need to know.”

Thor kissed my forehead. “They’ve got no reason to blame you Hon. For your parents’ end or for being a GWB. You’re the victim here as much as your mother and father.”

“People are strange Thor. I thought you of all people would know that.” I sighed and then sighed deeper as Thor began to massage my neck and shoulders.

“You’re as stiff as a new trigger. Would it help if we just got up and got going a little early?”

I shook my head. “You’ve lost enough sleep.”

“Nah. Besides, it’s about time to put the coffee pot on anyway.”

Sure enough it was but Thor tried to insist on me making my tea first. I reminded him we had to percolators and what hot water I didn’t use for tea I used to make up some instant grits and cornmeal fry bread. The leftover coffee and tea went into our thermoses and the extra fry bread I made I wrapped and put in our lunch box.

“Put some of this applesauce on your bread. Get some sugar in your system.”

“Thor I’m fine … really,” I told him.

“Then why are you shaking?” he asked, not unkindly.

“Adrenaline and nerves and we both know it so I won’t deny it. But that doesn’t mean I’m not OK.”

Thor shook his head. “I’ve seen you face down wild animals and crazy people, including me when I was pushing your around, and never even break a sweat or blink an eye. This family of yours much really be something else. You’re starting to make me nervous now.”

He was being a little facetious on purpose, trying to make me smile so I obliged him with a small one. “They’re no better nor worse as families go. It’s just an unusual dynamic with me thrown in the mix.”

Just before Ewing’s city limit sign my aunt’s driveway wound steeply up between the trees. I looked at Thor and said, “I know you don’t like me going off on my own but there’s no sense taking the horses and wagon up there until we know if anyone is at home.”

A voice from the bushes had Thor and I pointing our weapons at a spot on the other side of the ditch. “There’s no sense going up there period as all you’ll find is a burned out frame Rocky.”

A man about Thor’s age but looking older carefully stoop up. He looked enough like Dad that it hurt. “Dart?”

“Yeah,” he said in a tired voice. “Good thing it was me on duty or they might have given you a hard time. We’ve had some trouble so people are skittish.”

Dart was eyeing Thor, then me, then Thor again. I cleared my throat. “Dart this is …”

“… her husband. Gunnar Thoresen. We’ll get along better though if you just call me Thor.”

Dart took his time but then smiled and held out his hand. “So long as you don’t call me D’Artagnan. You can see I have you beat in that area.”

The two men continued to size each other up but not in an unfriendly way. While we waited for Dart’s relief to come I asked about the family.

“Mom … she’s about like she’s always been. We do what we can for her but there are days when you can’t do nothing for her.” I nodded in understanding. “Cellie’s fiancé never came back the day the power went out. She pined for him for a while then let a man that had lost his wife and one of his kids the same day come court her. She married him … oh I guess it’s been almost two months ago now and she’s as happy as I’ve ever known her to be. Getting out from under Mom’s thumb helped. Jack and those two kids of his fixed her up the rest of the way.”

I later explained to Thor that Cellie had lost her only baby to the flu the year it was real bad. It had caused pericarditis and he’d been too young to survive the damage. To make matters worse she’d suffered with infertility afterwards.

“What about Edgard?” I asked.

The look on his face had my eyes watering. “Oh Rocky girl, it … it ain’t that bad and … well I’m sorry I made you think we’d lost him. We thought we had until he showed up back in July. It’s just he ain’t the boy he was. He’s finally getting his strength back; that girlfriend of his that helped him get hom has had a lot to do with that. I doubt you’ll recognize him straight off. He might not recognize you either at first. The fevers seem to have affected his memory in places but it comes back when he works at it.”

His relief showed up, gave us some suspicious looks even after being introduced, and then Dart was leading us into town, or what was left of it.

“I know it looks bad but still, like I said it’s better than it was. We’ve just had trouble off and on since everything fell apart. Folks around here didn’t have much and what we did have others tried to take. Made you feel real untrusting of anyone outside of your family and some families couldn’t even trust each other. We didn’t have five hundred people to start with, now we are down to about a hundred and fifty inside the city limits and about that many outside of it, or at least we think. People kept just up and disappearing on us but mostly things have settled down now that everyone is so busy trying to get set for cold weather.”

“What about your wife and boys?” I asked.

I could see he wasn’t real comfortable answering at first but not for the reason I thought. “Boys are fine, growing like weeds after we finally got the garden up and producing. It filled up the whole yard both front and back except for the chicken coop I built and attached to the back of the garage. That area was too shady to grow anything in anyway. Well … the things is … Darlene had a breakdown or something along those lines and flat out refused to have anything to do with us. I took her out to her parents on the other end of town hoping it would help her but in the end they asked me and the boys to stop coming to see her as it got her too agitated.” He shrugged. “Don’t know how you’ll take the rest but … I needed help with the boys and her sister Ilene moved in with us. One thing led to another and we … well, with her parents blessing, we made it as official as we could last month. But Mom is taking her time getting used to the idea and you know how people love to talk.”

“Do I ever,” I muttered.

He gave me a guilty look before turning to Thor. “Some family you married into.”

Thor shrugged. “I’ve heard worse and besides Rochelle’s worth it.”

Dart barked a laugh and looked at me. “I thought you hated being called that.”

I glanced at Thor and rolled my eyes, “Sometimes in life you just have to give in to the inevitable.” He and I smiled a private smile and Dart was considerate enough to ignore it.

We were approaching a group of men when Dart suddenly turned serious. “Look you two, I’m sorry to drop this on you like this – thought I’d be able to get you home and ease into it – but the town has put a moratorium on new settlers until after winter is over. Temporary visitors are OK but …”

“Not a prob,” Thor rumbled as he stepped between me and a man that looked like an angry rooster.

The moron took a few steps back when Thor gave him the eye and then calmed all the way down when we told him we’d be staying two nights at most.

As Dart led us to his house he asked, “Two nights? You sure?”

Thor left it up to me to answer while he surveyed the places we passed. “We’re sure. I … I’ll be honest Dart, I wasn’t sure ‘til today we would stop … too afraid I guess.”

“You gotta tell Mom that. She’ll live on it for months.”

Thor gave me a questioning look and I told him, “Aunt Belle likes her a bit of drama now and then.
She’ll dress the story up some and then tell it over and over again like a fairy tale.” Thor just grunted. He wasn’t much for unnecessary drama which was fine by me.

A tall woman, not as tall as me but close, stepped onto the porch as we approached. She was a lot thinner than I remembered her, even after she’d lost all the extra weight, and she’d gone completely gray but I still recognized her.

“Aunt Belle?”

I was surprised to see real tears streaming down her face, “He said you were still alive when he brought your parents’ bodies back for burial. I … I wanted to believe him but I don’t know if I did or not.”

I went up the stairs and put my arms around a frail old woman where my aunt had been standing just seconds before. I couldn’t seem to get beyond her words and when I turned loose of her I stumbled and would have fallen if Thor hadn’t run up to the porch to stead me.
 

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 64

I looked at Dart in disbelief, unsure whether my aunt was telling a story or not. “There wasn’t time to … to … and … who would have …” I was stuttering, still trying to process it.

“Bentley Griffey.”

The answer was just as mystifying as the question. Thor asked, “Who’s Bentley Griffey?”

“Dad’s best friend. He’s one of the few people that never … never treated me like I was particularly different from any other kid.” Then I asked, “But how? Did he say?”

Aunt Belle interrupted and said, “First I want to know who that man is.” She pointed at Thor but she wasn’t being malicious but wickedly intrigued.

“Aw Aunt Belle, don’t start,” I begged. “I need …”

“And you’ll get your answers as soon as you introduce … your gentleman friend?”

Dart was standing there trying to look sympathetic but he missed the mark when I saw he was just happy that his mother had someone new to pick at. I looked at Thor, worried, but he looked more amused than anything else and introduced himself calling him my husband again. He’d said it before and I liked even though it wasn’t quite true in the strictest of physical senses but Aunt Belle acted like she was going to swoon in delight and started to practically pull Thor into the house to eat him up.

Thor was more than a match for Aunt Belle though and patted her hand, “I promise to tell you everything but we need to get the wagon and horses put someplace first.”

Dart grinned leading us to the garage which was actually an old carriage house. “I’ll bring ‘em back fast Momma, I promise.”

As soon as we were out of earshot I said, “Thanks Dart. Thanks a lot.”

“You’re more than welcome.”

Then I lost my smile. “Seriously? Uncle Bentley?”

When Thor raised his eyebrow I told him, “That’s what I grew up calling him but we aren’t blood kin. He and Dad were friends since before they started grade school. Family story goes that the Griffey’s and the original Charbonneau in this area knew each other back in New Orleans somehow. It’s in one of the family Bibles but I can’t remember the full story right now.”

I turned to Dart and said, “I still don’t understand …”

“Let Mom tell it. She does a better job of it and she’ll have everyone else in there by the time we get there. They’ll all want to hear it and your story too.”

So we finished tucking the horses up for the night and securing the wagon and then went back inside to sit in the room being used as the parlor. It took a few moments for everyone to greet everyone and the momentarily blank look on Edgard’s face chilled me. But then he said, “Oh! Football!!”

I laughed brightly even though I felt like crying and said, “That’s right. You showed me a few moves.”

“I sure did! And didn’t you use them! Went to the play offs and everything. I remember that!” He seemed to be as thrilled about a returned memory as anything else. Thor squeezed my hand and the girl that was putting a lap robe over Edgard smiled at me, grateful for not making a fuss.

Finally the story was to be told with Aunt Belle starting, “Well, I can tell you that everyone was just horrified and barely hanging on from the madness that seemed to be striking every one. The power hadn’t been off but two days and everyone was already losing their ever loving minds.” I saw Dart roll his eyes but whether it was a reference to his first wife Darlene or a general exaggeration I wasn’t sure.

I listened to everyone fill in the bits and pieces and we shared although not everything. The afternoon grew cool and Ilene tried to sneak off to the kitchen to see about dinner but Aunt Belle spotted her and declared it was time for chores. Thor slipped out after a look from me and later met me at the back door and handed me some rice and the pinto beans I had had soaking.

“Um … Ilene?”

“If it was from before I’d say you didn’t have to do this but … well … no sense in lying. This will help piece things out.” We were joined by Edgard’s girlfriend, a sweet girl named Denise, and got the last bit of dinner going. I felt like a giant in the small kitchen, especially with the two of them standing so close.

“Dart’s going to close in the back porch and make it a summer kitchen as soon as he scavenges up all the parts he needs. He found another wood stove that he plans on putting out there that will help with the canning. It was murder trying to do it all in here this past season.”

I looked out the window to see Dart and Thor chopping wood while Dart’s two boys stacked it. “Are … are you all … are things going OK around here?”

Denise answered while Ilene sliced a large onion. “Things are a lot better now. The town got a good co-op going using the city park land and while we are short some things they aren’t things we can’t live without. You and Thor look like you’ve done OK.” Her last sentence was more of a question than a statement.

“We’ve had some rough patches but we’ve been able to hunt and do a little fishing which has lightened the load on our supplies. Trading has taken care of the rest.”

Ilene said, “It got hunted over around here pretty quick when the supplies started running low. If you want to find anything these days you have to go way up in the mountains and that’s so dangerous it almost doesn’t make it worth it.”

“What about all the domestic cattle and stock?” I asked.

“That was the first bit of trouble we had. People saying they were with the government came in and started taking all of the livestock before most thought to question who they really were. People started fighting back and killed off most of those people but by then it was too late. The stock had been shipped someplace else.”

“They had trucks to do the shipping?!” I asked amazed. “Even after the EMP.”

“Yeah, that’s what shook people up so much. No one knows for sure but they might have been working for the UN based on some paperwork that was found. But I don’t think even the UN survived for long once things got really bad.”

I reminded myself to mention it to Thor and then we were setting the table while Aunt Belle took her supper in her room. I looked at Dart to explain. “Like I said, Mom has her good days and her bad. Sometimes it is all just a little too much for her and she retreats to her room; when she does that we’ve all just learned to leave her be. Her health ain’t what it was either Rocky. You gotta remember she’s older than Uncle Buck is … was … by almost twelve years. All this mess has been hard on her.”

It was Thor that asked Dart to go over it again. “Yeah. Rocky, remember how Dad used to call it?”

I snickered a little remembering Dart’s father, a highschool Language Arts teacher. He and Aunt Belle had been like Mutt and Jeff but he had honestly loved her for as long as she had let him. “Yeah. He’d say Aunt Belle could bury the facts beneath the story.”

Edgard said, “I remembered that! Your Dad was pretty cool Dart.”

Dart, Cellie, and Edgard were all half siblings. Aunt Belle said she gave each of her husbands a child and when she was done have kids she was done having husbands as well.

Dart gave Edgard a nod and then told us, “Things didn’t fall apart quite as fast as Mom made it out. People that canned still had plenty left from the previous harvest and most folks had already bought their seeds or even started getting things in the ground. Our little stores still had things on the shelves but they weren’t taking anything but cash and refused to sell anything to out of towners. Things were deteriorating but they hadn’t fallen apart yet. It was only a couple of days after the EMP that Griffey showed up.”

“And you heard him say the same thing as Aunt Belle?”

He nodded. “Yeah, sounded like something he would do anyway. You know how he is. The thing is he was still so broke up over your dad that he was hard to pin down on a few things. Frustrated Mom real bad. She wanted to know why he hadn’t stayed and looked for you and he’d start crying every time she brought it up. He said going out there had been a spur of the moment thing, was doing it as a surprise; flew out there in that ol’ plane of his dad’s. He got to the hotel just moments after it happened. He was helping trying to sort things out – and you know that’s like him too, plus the badge didn’t hurt – when he looks over to where the local cops were reviewing the security footage when he saw you and that boy running from the building on one of the clips.”

Thor said, “Getting the … uh, bodies released would have taken time. The EMP wasn’t that long afterwards. How did he get home?”

“Griffey is resourceful, ask Rocky about it. Knowing him he probably just walked away with the bodies without getting permission. He might have worked for the government but he didn’t always play by the rules.”

At Thor’s looked I explained, “Uncle Bentley was up the food chain in the NPS … the National Park Service. He still did ranger work but his title was something different. His main job was to take people on extended backcountry hiking trips and stuff like that.”

Dart continued, “From what I understood he’d landed at Middlesboro to refuel right before the EMP. From there he gathered some pack horses and … he was … they were all wrapped up …”

I couldn’t even handle the picture of that in my head and leaned into Thor. He was the lifeline God had thrown to me and I held on until the storm of my emotions were more manageable.

“I’m sorry Rocky girl.”

“It’s all right Dart. There’s no sense in hiding from the truth. I feel bad for Uncle Bentley, all alone like that …”

“Oh he wasn’t alone, had a couple of people with him. They looked real nervous, like they weren’t used to roughing it, but I think one of them was that woman he’d been seeing that your dad told mom about, the one that your mom didn’t care for.”

I wasn’t surprised but then again I was. Uncle Bentley could be a kind man but he was not one to have a lot of patience for people either. Dad said that’s why his job had been perfect for him. An office job would have suffocated the life out of him. As for the woman, I’d never met her. Mom rarely took dislikes of people so I’d been surprised when I’d overheard her telling Dad that she thought the woman was just after Uncle Bentley because she thought he had money.

“You know everyone always thinks he has money because he flies planes and drives those antique cars. And I swear, she’s only a couple of years older than Rocky. What’s he doing messing around with a girl young enough to be his daughter?”

“That’s what really has you upset,” my dad had told her.

“No. Well, alright that is some of it … but I just can’t help but feel she’s going to hurt him. And hasn’t he been hurt enough? I mean I’m glad he’s finally dating again … it’s been ten years since Bettie Sue and the baby died … but couldn’t he have picked someone less … strange?”

I never had bothered to ask Mom what she meant, not that it had mattered. Uncle Bentley always went his own way. Always.

The supper dishes were washed and put away and we’d finally convinced everyone we were fine sleeping out in the wagon. I stuck my head in Aunt Belle’s room to find she’d already fallen asleep. I turned and nearly ran into Edgard.

“Mom … mom won’t wake up until … until after … after … after … breakfast is half through.”

I’d already noticed that Edgard had started to stutter when he was getting tired. “I haven’t wanted to ask in front of the others in case you told me to go to the devil but … how are you really doing?”

He smiled sadly. “I’m sorry I forgot this. How you knew the right questions to ask when no one else would.” I waited, giving him time. “There used to be days when I wanted to give up. Denise … well, I couldn’t leave her alone. I’m better now but … but … but … I still worry that she picked the wrong guy.”

I told him, “I don’t think so. You may have wanted to give up but you didn’t … and you didn’t because of her. That means something to a girl.”

“I hope,” he muttered. “One … one … one … d d d day it won’t be so bad. I just have to make it through the winter with … with … without getting sick again.”

I hugged him and joined Thor where he waited for me on the porch and then we went out to the wagon. When we had finally settled for the night after checking everything over I asked him, “Did Dart say anything?”

“About what?”

“You know what,” I told him.

“Hon, they don’t blame you. If anything I think they … or at least Dart … feels guilty for underestimating what you had faced over the years. But don’t take this the wrong way; I think … I think they’ve just had so much on their plate they haven’t given it that much thought either.”

“So I was making a mountain out of a mole hill,” I replied quietly.

“Not exactly. It’s an awful thing that has happened but in the scheme of things it is one awful thing in a sea of them.”

I nodded, pretty much having come to that conclusion myself. “Makes me seem like I had a big head about it all.”

“No, not that either. They just had a chance to come to terms with it more than you have. Give it time … please don’t put your elbow in my ribs like that, it don’t feel good. I know that sounds like I don’t care but time is all there is. And me. You’ve got me too. And God, are you forgetting about Him?”

“No,” I said a little embarrassed for it to be Thor reminding me of that.

“Good. Now let’s get some rest. Dart said his sister will be over tomorrow and her husband is some kind of something on the town council and will probably ask a million questions about what we’ve seen as we crossed the country.”

And that is what we spent most of the next day doing … answering all sorts of questions to the best of our ability. Cellie and I never had much in common and that was still true but we were family and treated each other accordingly, some different from the way things had been in the past. The only thing she did say that bothered me was that I didn’t seem to have suffered very much compared to other folks.

I nearly said, “Well, it wasn’t for lack of trying that’s for sure.” But I kept my mouth shut since it wouldn’t have done any good anyway. For some people the world is only ever about them and their pains and ills.

Thor and I were both mentally exhausted and turned in early that night to get away from it all. Plus we were leaving early in the morning with a promised escort out of town. You could take it one of two ways. I don’t think most of them meant it to be as unwelcoming as it seemed on the surface but on the other hand if they had known how eager we were to get back on the road they might have been a little on the affronted side of things themselves.
 

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 65

It was easier to leave than I had thought it would be now that I had found some of my family alive. I didn’t say easy … just easier than I expected it to be. Dart was a surprise. He’d been one of the ones hardest on me but maybe looking back it wasn’t so much that he was hard on me as we had nothing in common including our ages and nothing to bridge the gap. And I was different and could be defensive because of it. I’m not saying that Dart was blameless … but maybe I wasn’t either. It takes two to build a relationship and sometimes a bridge for them to meet on. Perhaps time and this catastrophe had finally built that bridge for Dart and I … and time for us to both grow up fully. Dart might have been Thor’s age but Dad always complained the Aunt Belle refused to cut the umbilical cord.

Cellie … well Cellie was Cellie, still the princess Celeste, but she did seem to be a little different than before; just not as different as Dart appeared to be. And poor Edgard … I put him on my prayer list and knew he’d be there for a long time to come.

Aunt Belle for her part made me promise to come back if something happened and we couldn’t live at the farm. “You probably couldn’t make it back before spring anyway and by then they’ll ease up on things around here. And if you don’t need to come back, just as soon as we can get communications set back up I want you to send us word and let us know you are all right. Buck would never forgive me if we didn’t keep up with each other.” I loved my aunt but I took my dad’s warning to heart: he used to say it was a whole lot easier to love some folks when you didn’t have to live with them.

A few more familial kisses and hugs later and we were off into the early morning sun heading east out of Ewing. We bypassed Rose Hill as we’d been warned they were even more protective of their city limits than Ewing and then stopped in Cedar Hill for the evening. The population was sparse and not particularly friendly so we avoided contact. We camped behind a windbreak of trees and bushes and then got up early the next morning to warm up after a windy, chilly night. Collier Mill was as far as we got the next day but the day after that we managed to make fifteen miles and get all the way to Duffield.

That night, doing a pretty fair imitation of Thor’s growl, I told him, “I could walk faster than we’re riding. This is why I originally meant to just hike up the AT.”

“We could ditch the wagon but it seems a shame to after having brought it this far.” I know he was joshing me but I wasn’t in the mood to take it well.

I rolled my eyes, “You know doggone good and well I’m just complaining.”

He gave me a smirk and said, “And you know doggone good and well I’m just giving you what your complaints are worth.”

That brought on a tussle that ended with us both wishing the miles away. Thor stretched out on the bed we’d made for ourselves and asked, “Feel better?”

A little embarrassed by the fact that I did I told him, “Yeah, but I don’t guess it is very feminine of me to admit it.”

“Why? Because you needed to burn off some energy? What’s wrong with that? I’m not too fond of these calluses on our hindquarters we’re developing either. But the wagon was a good idea. We never could have carried enough supplies to get us through or taken advantage of some of the situations we’ve found ourselves in. Besides, what’s done is done and we’ve got bigger fish to fry in the coming days.” As ever, Thor was more practical than emotional.

I nodded. The next day we hoped to make it to Weber City but that was a good eighteen miles. On the plus side it was on a good highway. On the negative side it was on a good highway. Not only that but we’d be passing by Clinchport and then traveling parallel to at least one major railroad line, through passing Gate City which was a good sized city and then hopefully would make it through Weber City that was also a good sized city. Neither one of us was too happy about the route but there were few alternatives and all of them worse.

It wasn’t as bad as we feared but it wasn’t great either. We did have a few run-ins but generally we were left alone once we made out armed we were more obvious to the casual observer. However that left us open to the suspicion of the townspeople and officials that we passed. We got hassled a few times from people who were just scared of us but were generally just encouraged to move along faster. We were welcomed no where it seemed yet we would have been willing to pay a fair price for a place to park and set up camp. We were exhausted and travelling on the Bristol Highway before we found an abandoned dairy barn that we could camp in that we didn’t have to share with a number of other travelers.

We didn’t unpack much, just enough for me to grill the snake we had caught in the barn. Snake has never been my favorite as there are a lot of tiny bones you have to deal with but this was a big boa of all things; probably someone’s escaped pet. It wouldn’t have survived the winter but was a fat and sassy one all the same.

Turning the pieces of breaded meat in the skillet for me what I found a dry pair of socks Thor said in a tired voice, “It’ll be October tomorrow.”

Back when I had first started I had had no idea it would take me this long to get home and we were still looking at another sixty miles ahead of us. “You’re going to tell me we need to give the horses a rest.”

Thor signed and nodded. “Yeah, but not here. Before Bristol but definitely not here,” he said in disgust at the lingering slaughterhouse smell all around us. Something or someone had used the barn to deal with the carcasses of the cattle; the chains and ropes … and bits of cow … still hung from the rafters in one corner.

I was glad to escape the next morning and even happier when my clothes and hair had gotten rid of the last clinging traces of scent from that place. We lucked out and we found a tidy little hole to hide in just outside of Shelleys. I had worried at first we wouldn’t make it that far as a light cold rain had started to fall about two in the afternoon. Thor pointed to an overgrown driveway and we decided to take a chance. If there was anyone there we’d offer good coin for a night in a barn but it was obvious that the house had been abandoned for weeks if not months or longer. Upon closer inspection it appeared to be some kind of rental cabin.

As we set up for the night Thor asked, “You sure the horses are going to be OK in the garage?”

I laughed. “Thor, it’s out of the rain. It has a floor that used to be gravel but is mostly dirt at this point. I threw down as much of that tall grass as I could before it got dark and I’ll freshen it tomorrow when I muck things out. I’ll picket them outside tomorrow unless it keeps raining and if it does they’ll appreciate the garage even more. We on the other hand don’t have to worry about them being set on by wild animals or by horse thieves since we barred the door and disconnected the wires on the garage door handle. And we can throw our bedding down on the floor hear and sleep in front of the fire place. The fireplace has good draw so we aren’t going to suffocate. You’ve turned feral is all and gotten used to sleeping outside.”

He finally nodded, “It is some different to be sleeping in a real house.”

“Better get used to it. When we get to the farm it is going to be a while before I hanker to be sleeping under the stars again. Surely a mattress appeals to you.”

He gave a belly laugh, “Hon, it’s not the mattress that appeals to me.”

I shook my head and said, “Oh you!” He laughed at my bright red face and then we cleaned up and enjoyed being toasty warm on a cold and rainy night.

The next morning I looked outside and realized it was still raining. Thor came up behind me and looked out over my shoulder. I told him, “A few degrees colder and I’d be worried about snow or ice.”

“Glad we brought up that big limb and put it on the back porch,” he mumbled.

“There’s a woodshed out back. There isn’t much in there but it’s dry and that should be all we need. Since my gear is more waterproof than yours I’ll go out and start bringing it in just in case it turns cooler.”

We spent the rest of that day cleaning our weapons, cleaning our bodies, and cleaning our under things. Because of the dampness in the air it took all day for the clothes to dry but it was worth the work and the wait. I also rearranged the wagon contents, moving the weight around to make it easier on the horses as I knew some steep grades were ahead of us.

The rain finally let up in the afternoon but it was too late to do any hunting. As a result we ate some cans of soup that I’d been saving for just such an eventuality. Chicken noodle soup wasn’t exactly haute cuisine but it filled the empty spaces and clean up was easy. I made some corn pone since I didn’t have any crackers and I rounded the meal out with a couple of apples I baked on the coals of the fireplace.

All the while I did this my mind kept making lists, reviewing the route we had chosen for possible short cuts, and trying to avoid thinking about Uncle Bentley and what he had done.

“Why the long face?” Thor asked.

Not ready to bring up Uncle Bentley’s place in my thoughts I told him, “The later it gets the less likely the orchard is going to have anything left in it worth picking.”

“You’re worrying again.”

I nodded, “It’s getting to the point there is something to worry about. It’s getting cold early this year. We aren’t going to see anything from a garden until late spring at best. Even if the farm hasn’t been vandalized by man or beastie the winter is going to be hard. I know for a fact there isn’t enough wood and that is something that is going to have to be addressed right away. A big concern is I don’t know if the house is livable. The cabin should be but it isn’t as well insulated as the house is; there is some repairs that Dad let go since the grandmothers weren’t living there anymore. If it gets really bad we can move down to the basement of the house assuming there is no structural problem; there is a wood stove down there but that still means I have to get chopping as soon as we get there. And …”

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Thor asked mildly.

I admitted, “Probably which is something else that worries me.”

Thor shook his head. “You keep saying all these things you’ll need to do. The word you’re looking for Hon is ‘us’. We’ll chop the wood and we’ll manage everything else … together. Maybe I have forgotten what living in snow is like but I remember enough not to be completely helpless.”

“Oh,” I said. “Oh, Thor I didn’t mean it that way. I …” I stopped not sure where I was going with it.

“It won’t be like you remember it Hon. There’s no way. And I admit there is a lot of work ahead of us. For one we’ll likely need to barter … or even pay … for new livestock ‘cause I can’t imagine that yours survived that long on their own.”

I sighed, “The chickens were on an automatic feeder but I hate to think of what the poor dust mops went through. The two cows were sent for stud services at the local dairy so at least I can hope we’ll get them back. We stopped keeping last year hogs when Dad and I were able to get all of our pork hunting feral ones … it saved on feed. I was also going away to school – or that’s what they kept telling me – so they were trying to downsize their workload. The ducks and geese would most likely have fended for themselves but may have gone wild by now or been picked off by predators. I stopped keeping rabbits last year because I didn’t have time to take care of them properly. We released the last two batches of quail before we left. The barn cats … Oh Lord, they probably went after the chickens if they couldn’t kept fed on mice and tree rats. Mom’s old dog died last Thanksgiving and she refused to get another one but …” I stopped and looked at Thor who was listening politely. Then I snorted. “You know, instead of letting me run off at the mouth like a crazy person you could shut me up with a kiss.”

“Good idea,” he muttered while he obliged me.

It was just a distraction and we both knew it. That night I continued to make lists in my sleep and woke up even more tired than when I had gone to bed. I rarely drank coffee but I did that morning, heavily sugared and creamed with the powdered stuff, but Thor was nice enough not to mention it.

As we packed the last of our bedding away Thor told me, “I was looking at the map yesterday.”

“And?”

“There is a way around Bristol.”

“And?”

He just looked at me.

I told him, “All right. I understand. It’ll help us avoid the Interstate as well.”

After a moment Thor said, “That was easier than I thought it was going to be.”

“Look, I understand, OK?” I stood there looking at him. “No, I’m not happy about adding time to the trip but … I’m with you. Better to avoid Bristol and the Interstate.”

By taking parallel secondary roads we’d stay off the interstate and not have to worry about clogs, back tracking, or anything like that. We’d also avoid the more obvious travel routes which would mean – hypothetically – avoiding more people. We got to Burson Place that night but it was a hard, cold twelve miles.

I could feel people watching us every so often but it didn’t feel antagonistic, more like I’ll-leave-you-alone-if-you-leave-me-alone. That told me that there’d been trouble in the area at some point and everyone was being protective of what they had but hadn’t descended to the level of striking first and asking questions later. That night we stayed in Rust Hollow. We had only gone nine miles that day and could have easily made Fractionville or even Abingdon. We stopped early to prepare ourselves for any possible trouble getting through that area which there was no way to get around if we wanted to pick up the Jeb Stuart Highway which is what we needed to get to Damascus.

“Less than twenty miles and you can show me this Promised Land of yours we’ve been heading towards.” Thor was joking but not in a unkind way as we both sipped hot cider to warm up after a light mist had dampened the camp.

“What if I’m wrong? What if something’s happened and the farm is uninhabitable?”

“Trying to jinx us?”

I shook my head and all but cussed when my hair fell down again. “No, of course not. Datburn this ol’ hair bands. All the elastic is gone out of the ones that haven’t just out and out broke. When I shaved off my hair I never realized what a pain it was going to be to grow it back out.”

Thor gave me the puppy dog face and asked, “But you’ll do it right? You’ll grow it back out?”

“Honestly, men are so strange about long hair.” Shaking my head at his goofiness I told him, “Yes, I’ll grow it back out. I’m just being cranky.”

“And worrying too much. People around the world live in houses that aren’t much better than cardboard boxes and sheets of scrap metal.”

I interrupted to tell him, “Not when in places where it snows they don’t.”

“I’m beginning to get the distinct notion that you don’t like cold weather, or maybe it’s just snow you don’t like.”

“I like both just fine … just so long as I have some place warm to come in out of it. And you’ll appreciate that too as soon as the novelty of it has worn off. And in case you haven’t noticed I’ve lost some of my padding so it is harder to stay warm.”

He inched closer to me and said, “Oh I’ve noticed, but you’re still padded in the right places.”

I couldn’t help it. I laughed. “Well, you won’t have to put up with waiting much longer. I made a promise to you … and me … when we get to the farm … well, you know.”

He got suddenly serious. “Rochelle, I’m not going to jump on you just as soon as we set foot on the place. I promised you a day of fun and some celebration, a day you can look back on when we turn old and gray. If that means waiting a little longer …”

He always caught me off guard when he turned all sweet and romantic. I wasn’t really worried about that part at all and was as eager as he was – or close to it – I just wanted to make sure that all my talk of the farm wasn’t just that … talk.

The next morning barely dawned. The sky was dreary and the wind tried to suck the warmth right out of us. The horses were cantankerous, having objected to leaving the protective shelter of the large metal storage shed had found to sleep in.

Abingdon was a mess. While being built around Interstate had once given it life had proven to be its death. I briefly wondered about my mother’s family but knew that since I didn’t really know where they lived it made no logical sense to hunt for them in the mess that was left of the city. There were a lot of detours to get around debris that had never been cleaned up. We could hear people off in the distance in all directions but they sounded more like a bunch of kids out playing than adults doing anything constructive.

Thor rode beside me and whispered, “Hopefully this wind is masking any sound we are making or it carries it away so people can’t casually track us.”

Nodding I responded, “This is bad. Look how picked over everything looks. And the insides of most of these buildings have seen weather damage too. There’s glass all over the place still. No one has made any effort to clean things up. Either the city has been completely abandoned or things are still so disorganized I’m not sure I would want to meet any survivors.”

Thor’s answering nod was silent. We were both thankful to leave Abingdon but it wasn’t without some effort. The I81 overpass had fallen across the route we needed and getting around it was a test of man, beast, and everyone’s patience. It was late when we pulled into Drowning Ford after a fourteen mile day.

“I suppose,” Thor started. “That we could have stopped back in Bethel or Osceola but I didn’t like the looks of the folks that offered to let us pay for a place to stay for the night.”

“They didn’t sound like locals.” When Thor raised an eyebrow I explained, “Yeah, they were from the south, probably even Virginia, but it wasn’t a local accent … a mountain accent. Maybe from Virginia Beach or Richmond. They just seemed to have too much city in them.”

That gave Thor a chuckle. The farmer that we had run into – nearly for real as his wagon had tipped on the other side of a blind corner – offered to let us bed down in his family’s spare room but we told him we’d just as soon stay with the horses though we appreciated his offer and didn’t want to offend him.

“Well, in your shoes I’d probably feel the same way. From Damascus you say? Ain’t heard a peep out of the place since the government closed the highway down.”

“They closed the Jeb Stuart down?!” I squeaked.

“Aw yeah, and you should have heard the commotion over it. But then the power went and people got more concerned with filling their bellies than filling their quota of gossip.”

The glass of milk the farmer’s wife gave me the next morning was the first real whole milk I’d had for a long time. Even when we were back at the Chuckri family the milk had had all of the cream skimmed out of it.

I licked my lips and said, “That was so good. Thank you.”

The round and happy natured woman laughed and said, “Well I’m glad you liked it. You came on a good day. I have enough butter to last for a while and Herbert says he’s full up to here with cheese so I decided to just leave the milk whole today. The grandkids will get the rest when they get here tonight.”

At my look of polite interest she said, “Our daughter is going to move back home. One, Herbert can use her husband’s help and two, their place just is too drafty. They had one of them new fangled propane set ups put in but they haven’t been able to get their tank filled. Our place may be nothing but an old farmhouse but it is nice and tight and we have a wood stove in addition to the three fireplaces. Lots of kids moving back home around here … assuming … well, lots of people just haven’t heard from their families. We’ve got a prayer list at the church that covers an entire wall in the sanctuary.”

Thor left some silver in their sugar bowl despite their protests that they hadn’t been out anything since we’d stayed in the barn but the safety and kindness was worth more to us than the silver even began to touch.

“People like that give me hope.” It wasn’t me that said it but Thor.

“I hope they can make it through the winter. If they can they seemed like the sort of folks that can survive whatever comes next for this country.”

Thor asked, “Have you noticed how the world has gotten smaller?”

The was over my head and I gave him a blank look. He explained, “Not too many people have mentioned the rest of the world. They haven’t asked if we’d heard anything about it nor said they knew anything about it. It’s almost as if nothing outside of their little farm or little towns … their little lives … exists or has any meaning for them anymore.”

I nodded, “I guess when you put it that way. We’ve been nearly all across this country together and I haven’t heard much myself. It’s almost like walls have been thrown up.”

“I’m wondering if it isn’t more than that,” Thor said, biting his lip like he did when he was in really deep thought.

“What do you mean?”

“Think about it. Would the greenies – or even the Twelvers – have stopped with just attacking this country if they were trying to bring about the end of the world? Or should I say the end of the human world? If it had only been the US then other countries would have come in and either stripped the resources to satisfy the loans they’d made, or to get some type of retribution for some imagined ill. I honestly have a hard time believing that we haven’t seen or at least heard of any dirty bombs or nuclear blasts occurring. No one has talked about seeing planes, not even drones, surveying the damage to the country’s infrastructure.”

“Well, that’s because of the EMP.”

He shook his head. “Hon, one EMP is not going to take out the entire world. If he wasn’t exploded in the exactly right spot one bomb wouldn’t even take out the entire country, it sure as heck wouldn’t have reached Europe or Asia. Given the extent of the damage from the burst in this country I suspect either two bombs detonated at an altitude of about 120 miles or one detonated at about 300 miles. One at 300 miles would affect all the way into Canada and down into Mexico – theoretically anyway – but that is still just North America. We should have still seen some type of incursions for other countries if they were unaffected by the EMP.”

Being with Thor everyday it was easy for me to forget he wasn’t just a regular guy, that his job used to involved stuff I’d probably never even thought about. “OK, then what’s your theory?”

“I’m working on a couple but none of them are pretty.”

Before lunch time we were pulling into Damascus and all I could do was sit on the wagon seat while tears fell down my face.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 66

I knew the possibility had existed. I’d seen it time and time again as we’d cross the country. It’s not like I had expected to cross some invisible barrier and step into an untouched zone of normalcy. There was no reason for me to be so surprise and hurt. Yet I was.

The dreary day only highlighted my dawning horror and pain. “Let’s go,” I said, wiping my eyes and scrubbing my nose on my sleeve. “We still have some miles to go.”

“I think it would be better if we looked around first.” Thor wasn’t trying to torture me. I knew it in my head … and my heart … but the idea still felt like fingernails slicing my spine open.

A high pitched laugh escaped me before I could stop it. “Look around? At what?! Let’s see … there’s city hall, or what’s left of it; all its insides seems to have been thrown outside. And right there is the building that got used to hold onto people until the state police could come pick them up. I know it doesn’t look like much but trust me, it used to have a roof. That mess right there used to be the beauty salon; the dump truck stuck in the front wall is a new addition to the décor. And see that place that looks like it’s been peeled open like a banana? That was the Cowbowy General Store, about the only place to get groceries unless you wanted to go all the way to Abingdon and you saw what that city looked like. Want me to continue?”

I was angry; at what or who I didn’t know. Thor dismounted and tied his horse off to the wagon then slowly pulled me off the wagon seat and into his arms. I cried. Oh how I cried. By the time I was finished I was weak in the knees and barely able to keep myself upright.

Trying to pull myself together I told him, “It’s the shock of it is all. I shouldn’t have expected anything else but I did. And this gives me even less confidence in the farm being untouched.”

“Don’t lose hope,” Thor rumbled. “We won’t know for sure until we see it with our own eyes.”

I was resigned to what his tone was saying. “You still want to look around.”

“We need to see if there is any clue to what happened,” he said trying to coax me to understand.

“People went nuts is what happened. This is the kind of damage we saw in the bigger cities. That it happened here is just crazy. Damascus may qualify for being a dot on the map for some folks but we saw plenty of smaller towns. There weren’t quite a thousand people here in the off season but we do know how to handle large crowds. When Trails Days come around the population explodes and can get kind of crazy … but it is an organized kind of crazy. No way would the townspeople just sit back and let something like this happen.”

Thor, calm like I needed him to be said, “OK, then try and figure out what … or why. It could be important.”

I did as he said and tried to focus. After a moment of thought I said, “The highway, they closed the Jeb Stuart; maybe there was an accident further into the rec area and they were trying to prevent more people clogging up the road.”

“Or,” Thor said. “They were trying to contain something that was in the town or rec area.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know Hon. I’m just thinking aloud. An illness? We’ve seen that in our travels.”

“Sick people … physically sick I mean … wouldn’t do this. They wouldn’t have the energy to. And if there was a bad sickness where are the bodies?” I didn’t want to have to contemplate that part of it but I had to. “Maybe people from the Richmond and Roanoke areas headed into the mountains. No. That would have come after the EMP.”

“Not necessarily. Remember what you drove through before the EMP? Rumors could have sent people looking for shelter … or at least running from the cities like rats from a sinking ship. Many people would have thought the rec areas, national forests, and relatives that lived back in the sticks would be perfect places to hide out for a while. Just like we’ve seen all along, the EMP would have put all of those people still traveling out on their feet. Damascus would have been the first ‘civilization’ some of them would have seen for who knows how long. If they couldn’t get the help they thought they deserved … who knows?”

“Plausible,” I admitted. “But it doesn’t explain the lack of cars on the roads. The Jeb Stuart, at least the parts we seen, have been pretty clean. And it sure doesn’t explain the dump truck trying to get a hair do.”

My sarcasm brought a momentary and unexpected smile to both of us. Thor nodded and kissed the top of my bandana covered head before saying, “Hon, this doesn’t all have to have happened in a single day. It could have been like a car crash derby before the EMP and then afterwards people could have come in on foot … en mass or in dribs and drabs … and then rioted then as well. The domino effect. We may never know for sure but we should still look around. Thirty minutes … if we don’t see anything we’ll leave.”

Once we started looking I was amazed at what was gone … and what wasn’t. The bike shops made sense. But it was how they were looted that was stupid. All of the whole bikes were gone but the back was full of expensive spare parts and tires, cans of air to refill the tires and shelves of other things like bike trail gear. The food was gone from all of the obvious places like Mojoe’s Trailside Coffeehouse and the Whistlepig Bistro but if you went looking in the back there were paper products, staples, cleaning supplies, a few commercial sized cans of things and other stuff that shouldn’t have been overlooked if anyone had been using commonsense. Another oddity was when I went to grab some plastic bags from the convenience mart … or any other place for that matter … to carry off some of the booty there were absolutely none to be found. You could see the boxes they normally came in thrown to the side but the bag themselves were gone.

In the storage rooms of the salon and barber shop there were still a decent number of unopened bottles of their hygiene products yet there were obvious and specific gaps in the inventory like someone had focused on their favorite brands to the exclusion of everything else. Even stranger were the stores that my dad used to say catered to the hippie tourists. There were only a couple and they were down by Sundog Outfitters but when we looked in we saw that they were somehow more empty than any other place around and had been emptied in such a way to set them apart.

I did grab some things out of Sundog’s and out of the Mount Roger’s outfitter store. When I noticed that I was starting to take things to just take them I stopped and looked in the wagon. I shook my head and realized I was starting to get the heebies and really did need to get out of the area. “Thor, let’s get out of here. Please. We can come back later and I want to check on Uncle Bentley. If he believed I was alive maybe he left me a message.”

“Hon …”

I shook my head and then got back onto the wagon seat. “I know Thor. The likelihood of him being there is slim. But you don’t know him. Even if he isn’t at his house he could be out in the mountains. Uncle Bentley was like that. In a way he is like Mr. Dinks, he prefers the backcountry; he calls it communing with God. Not even Aunt Bettie Sue could keep him still for long. Sometimes he is gone for weeks on end, only getting near civilization long enough to pick up the next crew that he was shepherding along the deep country trails.”

When Thor looked like he would object I said, “And the cemetery is right there by his place too. At least the one where Mom’s people are all buried. The Charbonneau’s were buried in the family plot on the farm. I’m not sure if he would have … uh … taken them all the way out there.”

Thor looked at me and then sighed. “I just don’t want you to be disappointed and hurt again … at least not so soon. We don’t even know if he made it back at all. Or that he was even able … er …”

“Able to get my parents’ bodies back?” At his nod I said, “Those bodies weren’t my parents. They were just … just husks leftover that my parents used to use. My parents are in Heaven and I will see them again one day. If Uncle Bentley … well, if he couldn’t, I forgive him if he needs it. It isn’t anything I could have done myself. But I still want to know. I still need to know.”

“All right Hon. But we go in slow and easy. We still don’t know what happened around here and until we do, or at least have a better handle on who, if anyone, is left we take as many precautions as I feel are needed. Understand?”

I agreed that made sense and we set off. Uncle Bentley’s place was just outside of town between the highway and Laurel Creek; the cemetery was across the other side of the highway. We drove right up to his place. Thor and I went and knocked … and knocked several more times. We went inside the unlocked door … unlocked … to find a tidy place that hadn’t been ransacked at all.

Thor canvassed the other rooms and I went into the kitchen. The ashes in the stove were fresh and the coffee on the now cold burner had to have been from the morning. Excitement poured through me. I turned to run through the house and call for Thor but he was already there and putting his hand over my mouth.

At my alarm he whispered in my ear, “No one here but there looks to be about three people in addition to whoever is in the master bedroom. Could be even more if they have sleeping buddies. I think I found your beauty hog in the back bedroom, there are boxes of hair crap stacked in there. Another … guy I’m pretty sure … is a drinker; the room reeks of old wine and there’s empty bottles piled in recycling boxes.”

I nodded then followed him back out onto the porch. We looked all around the place but found not a single person. There were two kayaks on Uncle Bentley’s boat ramp but they both had holes in them. One looked like the hole was from a bad rock impact on the rapids but the other was either drilled with a hand tool or more than likely drilled with a bullet the way the fiberglass was shattered around hole.

Suddenly a shot rang out and then another. “Rocky!!” The pain-filled yell came from the cemetery. I knew Uncle Bentley’s voice. He’d been like a second father to me and I couldn’t help but respond.

I ripped the shotgun down from my shoulder and took off for the nearest stand of graves using the trees and bushes as cover. Thor was right behind me and then there was another shot and I was going down. But not from being shot.

I rolled over and tried to ask Thor why he’d thought the middle of the highway was a good place to push me down. Only Thor wasn’t answering me and there was a spreading read stain on the front of his shirt.

“No! No, no, no, no,” I panted in disbelief.

More shots were fired but they weren’t coming our direction. I got up and dragged Thor over behind tall, old headstones in the oldest part of the cemetery. “Thor!” I whispered. “Thor!! Don’t do this to me. Don’t you dare die. I’ll kill you if you do, I swear I will.”

I felt for a pulse and found one and then shook the crazy out of my head and went to work using the first aid that I’d learned as a scout and as a rescuer going after lost hikers. The shot had gone in and out through his right shoulder. It didn’t look like it hit anything vital. There was blood but it wasn’t arterial. My biggest worry was shock. I put my own jacket over him and prayed hard.

When I had done what I could for Thor I turned back to the fight. I could see three bodies … two women and a man … sprawled not too far away. They were obviously dead or so close to it as made no difference.

“Rocky girl,” came a pain filled whisper.

I jerked my head toward the source and Uncle Bentley leaned around a headstone about twelve feet away. He held up four bloody fingers and then pointed towards another grouping of old headstones. I’m no stone cold killer but I was not going to let those people get away with shooting Thor nor whatever it was that they’d done to Uncle Bentley.

During my time with them the men had taught me a lot and my experience on the road had taught me how to implement it and take advantage of my size and strength. When Uncle Bentley acted like he was going to protect me I shook my head and something in my face stopped him and he just stared at me. I’d seen the look before, just never on his face, but I didn’t have time to worry about it.

I don’t need to write the details. Suffice it to say that three of the four never even knew what hit them. The fourth was a woman, once extremely pretty but now more haglike than anything else, and right before I got to her she jumped up and headed straight for Uncle Bentley’s hiding place. She was whacked out on something if her eyes were any indication. Her screaming, “Balance must be re-established!!” didn’t make me give her much credit for sanity either.

I shot her but not before she got off a good shot that took Uncle Bentley down. I stood and then quickly made sure no one was left alive from the other side and then ran over only to find Uncle Bentley and a now conscious Thor aiming their weapons at each other. I was closer to Uncle Bentley and kicked his gun out of his hand.

“No! Uncle B, that’s my husband!!”

He wasn’t long for wakefulness and said, “Your … husband?” as he fell over sideways.

I ran to Thor who had fallen back as well.

“Hon, find a hole, crawl in … stay … safe ……… love ………….” He was unconscious again but if he thought I was going to leave him – or Uncle Bentley – he must have banged his head on that concrete harder than I thought he had.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 67

I refused to panic. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t leaning that direction, just that I refused to fall off the precipice. I had to make some serious decisions – in as little time as possible – before I took another step.

Were the men’s conditions stable? Stable enough to move? Yes. Thor was pale, but that was to be expected. I could still see color beyond the paleness and another plus was that his pulse was strong though a little erratically paced. I could tell he was chilled and I wrapped my jacket around him more securely. He tried to stir but his eyes only rolled around a bit but it still gave me hope and when I kissed his forehead I swear he smiled a bit. Uncle Bentley, however on closer inspection, was much worse than I had realized at first glance. I was shocked to see a wrapped stump where his right foot should have been. The bandages were relatively fresh, or so it appeared, but I could see that the ace wrap that covered them showed places had been oozing at some point. He had a gray pallor that worried me. Still and all I assumed if he was strong enough to be out shooting it up in a graveyard I’d be able to move him.

But move them to where? What was my destination? With the men stabilized I had the option of staying at Uncle Bentley’s place or continuing on to the farm … or anywhere in between as well as going back to the town, maybe even the clinic. I gave this one lots of thought while I moved both men closer to the wagon. Uncle Bentley was obviously in the worst shape; he didn’t regain consciousness when I carried him and in addition to the amputation and two minor bullet wounds, I realized he had lost a significant amount of weight. He had already been built like a banty rooster, slighter of build than my father, but now he felt bird breasted. I moved him on the lee side of the wagon, out of the wind, and covered him up with blankets I had ripped off of his own bed.

Thor did regain consciousness briefly which was a relief. What was annoying was his insistence on me leaving him to find a hiding spot. “Something … wrong,” he groaned.

Trying not to snort at the obvious while I bore most of his considerable weight I said, “You were shot. Be easy now and don’t fight me or we’ll both take a header.”

“No … something … else. Not me. Place … wrong.”

“Easy Thor. I know something crazy is going on. I’m trying …”

He moaned as I put him down through I know he tried not to. That hole hadn’t been made by any little 22lr and I was sure it needed cleaning asap. “Not here. Get to the farm. Hole up there,” he whispered and then he was out again though it was obvious he was fighting his weakness.

That was one vote for the farm. Part of me wanted to say, “Heck yeah, let’s go!” On the other hand Thor wasn’t completely with it and I needed to be sure of my choices for us all, especially since I wasn’t sure what I would find if we did go to the farm.

Despite the amount of thought I was putting into each step, things were moving very quickly. The one thing I was sure of was that I wasn’t going to leave those guns in the graveyard for someone else to pick up. I ran back over and just threw weapons and ammo into a burlap bag I’d grabbed from the wagon. It was when I was tearing the gun out of the last woman’s hand that I saw it; a green and blue braided wire bracelet.

The eco-movements used symbology a lot but had few major symbols that were distinctly their own; even the recycling symbol had started out as a non-verbal sign rather than as an environmental logo. But when the eco-terrorists known commonly as the “greenies” came out from under their rocks they’d started using a green and blue braided circle to identify their members. It became a bit of a fashion statement … like the old peace sign … and most people who wore it didn’t understand what it really stood for. But I was betting she had, right down to her hemp jeans, recycled plastic t-shirt and wool-felt Birkenstock clogs worn with unbleached cotton socks.

I ran back to the wagon and put the burlap bag under the wagon seat. My mind had been made up, especially after I double checked the house and found more circumstantial evidence supporting my theory. There was no way I was going to stay in a house that was a known greenie hang out.

As I stormed through the house – all but swearing at Uncle Bentley for being fool enough to fall for a piece of eco-trash half his age – I gathered up odds and ends; more ammo, coffee, the medical supply box on Uncle B’s dresser, the few cans of food left in the pantry, extra sheets from the hall linen closet. I tied this stuff onto Thor’s horse’s saddle, threw more bedding in the back of the wagon and only by the grace of God managed to get both men back there and secured without hurting them or myself.

I climbed in the wagon and had to pray for forgiveness when I spat in the direction of the bodies in the graveyard as we passed. When I had been running around the side effects of the adrenaline pumping through my veins hadn’t been too bad. Now that I was sitting in the wagon seat again and trying to stay calm so I could drive along the narrow and winding forestry roads I was starting to shake like a leaf. It didn’t help that my jacket was still wrapped around Thor and the temp in the shade of the trees was cool enough without being exacerbated by the wind that was starting to kick up as the sun made its way toward late afternoon.

Trying desperately to focus on the immediate priorities I kept my eyes on the road and my ears open for any potential pursuers. Twist, turn, switchback, grade up, grade down, backtrack for a small slide, move that tree out of the way … and what the heck is that?! A box van was literally stuck between two trees facing down towards the ravine that edged the piece of road I was currently on. I nearly passed on but stopped as Thor had heard me muttering.

“Hon,” he said through gritted teeth.

I jerked the horse to a stand and turned with all the words tumbling out of my mouth. “Thor! How do you feel? Dumb question, sorry. Are you in pain … no that’s another dumb …”

“Breathe,” he wheezed. “See what is in that van.”

“Thor …”

“I’m fine and the old guy beside me is still out of it.”

Rather than argue with someone that could be as stubborn as a stump I hopped down and slid through the damp fallen leaves to the spot where the van had hung up. What was left of two bodies were scattered in and around the outside of the cab. When I saw that I backed up and started to watch where I put my feet. There had been plenty of stains all over inside the cab so I’m guessing they died and had started to decompose before the bear – and I could see it was a bear from the claw marks on the door – had gotten inside and done what bears do.

The back of the box truck was only closed with a door lever but the angle was weird and I had to put some muscle into lifting the door. The back was full of cardboard boxes. I pulled out the first one I could grab without a hassle and used my pocket knife to open it. After I had determined what was in the box I carefully shut the door and locked it with the lever. If no one had broken into it by now I didn’t really worry they would any time soon. I carried the box back to the wagon and set it beside me, climbed in, and slapped the reins to get us going again.

“What?” Thor asked.

“Jonathon’s grandmother. She really had sent some things out to the farm, they just never made it. They may have been driving too fast and missed the curve. It happens all the time around here, even the local kids get complacent and do it.”

“And?”

I tried not to laugh sadly, “Same sort of stuff she considered survival food when we had been traveling together. The box I opened was freeze dried ice cream and an expensive brand of trail mix. Lord alone knows what is in the rest of the boxes.”

“You … you know what this means,” he wheezed.

I nodded, expressing some gratitude in my tone as I answered, “It should mean that no one found the farm but that’s not a guarantee yet; someone could have come overland and stumbled into the place.”

I heard him moving around, or trying to. “Don’t Thor. You need …”

“You need back up more. You need me … to … to …”

Exasperated I stopped the wagon again. In the end I was forced to pull back some of the wagon canvas and prop him up so he could at least pretend that he wasn’t so hurt that he was more hindrance than help.

“Honest to Pete you’re going to kill yourself at this rate,” I told him, not even trying to hide my impatience with his bullheadedness.

“You are not going to do this by yourself. Now stop giving me lip woman and let’s get going.”

I grumbled, “Backseat driver.” In reality I was a little ashamed at how pathetically grateful I was that Thor, even in his state, would put himself at risk to support me.

“How in the …? No wonder no one can find your place,” Thor said in disbelief.

Completely understanding what he meant I said, “It actually isn’t that hard after you’ve been walked through it a couple of times. It is just a matter of cross and recrossing and then going through a couple of places that don’t look like you can go through … optical illusions sort of. Once you know they’re there though you wonder how you didn’t see it to begin with.”

The wagon was on the part of the road that ran beside a tributary to Laurel Creek. Most of the year hip waders would get you from one side to the other without getting a drop on you but there were a couple of rocky places that were good for some fast kayaking and closer to the back of the farm there were a couple of small waterfalls. Then the main gate stood tall in front of us.

“What the heck is that?” Thor asked, completely flummoxed.

“We use it to keep King Kong out,” I told him with a small laugh at his surprise. Actually it wasn’t a wooden gate at all despite how it looked. My dad had found a whole pile of these artificial “logs” made from recycled plastic that the NPS had dumped on our land and then hadn’t been able to find again. It was supposed to be for trail rehabilitation but they’d missed the trail by nearly a mile. We sure as heck weren’t giving them directions since we’d already been having problems with them criss crossing our fields and disturbing some new plantings, but we did give them through spring to claim them, they just never did. We took the abandoned “logs” and rebuilt the main gate, one of the docks, and a few other things and saved a ton of money in the process.

As we’d driven I’d already seen how the grass had grown rampantly along the road though it had died back from at least one frost. It was no different beyond the gates of the farm. After about sixty feet of narrow drive the land opened up and I could hear Thor gasp. The farm nestled in a hollow. The house was built into the mountain side that was least suited for terracing and the cabin was directly below it on a piece of flat, rocky soil. The barns and other outbuildings were built in the same way except for the old cantilevered barn that sat between the yard lot and kitchen garden and the fields closest to the house. Some of the fields were terraced as were the orchard, the berry hedges, and the grape arbor. Everything had a nasty, neglected feel to it that made me bitter and sad.

“Thor …” But he was out again and despite that I could see the pain etched in his face like it had been cut with jagged glass.

I pulled the wagon over to the house and looking carefully around I made my way to the side door. One of the things I had grabbed at Uncle Bentley’s place was the spare keys that were right where he always hung them on the nail inside the pantry. The locks were stubborn from disuse but I finally heard the click as the bolt pulled back and the door swung open with a soul jarring squeal.

My mother would have cried in disgust and dismay but from what I could see in the few rooms I walked through it was mostly dust. The bathrooms had some mildew in them but I knew how to take care of that. We’d drained the water lines before we had left – plumbing was my father’s bane but it was better to be safe than sorry – and I didn’t see any water damage anyplace.

I wasn’t ready to take over my parents’ bedroom yet so I went to my bedroom and made sure that I could put Thor in the bed. He wasn’t a treat to get up the stairs but I did manage it despite or perhaps in spite of him trying to help. I promised him I would be back soon to take care of him then ran down and carried in Uncle Bentley. I had thought to put him in one of the spare rooms … Dad had built the house when he and Mom had planned to have a large family … but then thought better of it. I made a soft pallet for him in the living room on the fold out sofa and then lit a fire in that fire place before going up stairs and lighting a fire in the small wood stove in my room.

Both men were unconscious again so I ran out to take care of the horses. My eyes skimmed the nearby chicken coop but didn’t see a single bird … not even a feather. But I nearly wet myself when I walked into the barn. There were chickens roosting all over the place and they were none too happy that I was letting the cold air in. I looked over and had an idea of what had happened. A panel had fallen off of the small feed silo my dad had built in the corner and after putting the horses in separate stalls I walked over and looked inside. There wasn’t much left, maybe a week’s worth at most.

I looked around and came face to face with Foghorn, the king of the hen house. “Well you and that corn certainly explain a few things. Here you’ve been sitting fat and sassy with your harem, not a care in the world, and I’ve been fighting everything but zombies to cross this country feeling bad about how your feathery backside suffered before you died.”

All Foghorn did was peck at me before strutting towards one particularly plump Rhode Island Red. I looked away, giving them some privacy and finished taking care of the horses as quickly as I could.

I brought more wood with me to keep the fires going, found the kerosene lamps Mom had always kept handy, and banished the dark from the rooms I would be working in. And it wasn’t pleasant work.

It may have been selfish but I took care of Thor first. I didn’t find any dirt in his wound but I did pull out a couple of strings of thread which meant I’d have to clean it again. I’m glad that Thor passed out the first time around. Then I did what I could to disinfect and protect the wound so it could start healing. I used one of those thermometers that you stick in an ear to measure his temperature and it was running a little warm but it was still under a hundred.

“Listen you … you are not allowed to get an infection. As soon as you wake up I’m going to give you something Dad always kept on hand for if the animals got a puncture wound. I know it is OK for people because the doc said it was ok to give it to me that summer Dad stepped on that nail. You also need to drink lots of water so that you don’t get dehydrated and your body can replace the blood it has lost. I don’t know if you can hear me or not but I put a bell beside your hand. When you wake up, if I’m not here, you ring it and I’ll come running.”

I went back downstairs and this time it was to find Uncle Bentley awake but glassy-eyed.

“I … I thought I was dreaming again,” he croaked.

“No Uncle B, you’re not dreaming.” I tried to hug him but it was like hugging a bag of sand. I started cleaning him up and taking care of him the best I could. The bullet wounds were minor; didn’t even really qualify for much more than burns. Neither one of us spoke, it was weird but I was starting to feel a little shocky myself by that point.

When I went to unwrap the stump he said, “No!”

“Uncle B, I don’t know what has happened or when but that dressing needs to be changed.”

“I’ll change it myself when I’m good and ready.”

I shook my head, “Uncle B, please. Let me take care of you.”

In a strange tone he said, “Yeah, I’ve heard that before.”

“Not from me you haven’t. Dad would have my head if I ever lied to you or didn’t do my best. You know he and Mom wouldn’t rest if they thought they could do anything for you.”

It took several moments but he finally let me do what I had set out to do. I nearly vomited and had to turn my back to him so he wouldn’t see my face.

“No need to hide it from me. I started smelling it yesterday. It’s been a month, I thought I had gotten it all.”

I swallowed hard and asked, “Gotten what?”

“That idiot left a wine bottle on the stairs. I stepped on it and the shards went right through my moccasins.”

“Who?”

“Willis, Jen’s brother.”

I thought and then said, “Jen was the lady you were seeing.”

“Jen was no lady. It was nothing but a convenience for both of us,” was his harsh answer. Then he continued. “The foot got infected and no matter what I did. I nursed it along and then last month I couldn’t put it off any longer. None of them would help me so I had to cut it off myself with a hatchet on the porch.”

“Oh Uncle Bentley.”

“Don’t. I neither want nor need your pity.”

“What pity?! I’m angry that they’d leave you alone like that.”

In a dry, gravelly voice he said, “Being alone is the only way.”

“Not the only way Uncle Bentley. I’m here now and I’ll take care of you until you can take care of yourself.”

All he did was give me a contemptuous look but he did allow me to get him more comfortable and to give him one of the pain pills I found in the box of medical supplies. He lay by the fire and drowsed in and out. I could see what I thought was fever in his eyes but he wouldn’t let me check or give him anything for it. I figured whatever shock he was in would wear off after a decent meal and his pain meds kicked in.

To keep him talking but his silence was eerie I asked, “What happened? I got your story from Aunt Belle but not what has happened sense.”

“Stopped there did you?”

“Yes sir.”

“Figures. You’re fairly predictable, that’s why I stopped there.”

I just looked at him waiting for him to explain but he never did. I finally had to ask again, “What happened after you left Ewing?”

“Are you stupid? Went overland and made it back to Damascus of course.” I winced. Uncle Bentley was really off his rocker. He’d never talked to me like that in my whole life and in fact had protected me nearly as much as my parents had when he’d been around.

“I met their roadblock and with Jen there it was easy to get through. She was young but she knew how to work people. But what I want to know from you is how did you survive San Francisco?”

So I explained to him. All of it down to the smallest detail, reliving that night like I was living it for the first time, up to when Jonathon and I had made it to his grandmother’s house. Then I broke down and cried. “Oh Uncle Bentley, it all feels like it was my fault.”

In a voice nearly unrecognizable he said, “Of course it’s your fault.”

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 68

“Uncle … Uncle Bentley?” This was the man that beat off three reporters that had tried to abduct me when I was four years old. This was the man that stood between me and a pit bull that someone had set on me when I was seven. This was the man that had stood beside my father and dared any man to deny me the right to at least try and play football. This was the man that had taught me how to kayak, had been one of my 4H sponsors, had been the one my parents always put down as an emergency contact if they couldn’t be reached. This was the man that until that moment I had never expected to have to defend myself against.

“Of course it’s your fault. You were never supposed to have been born.”

“I … I don’t understand. Uncle …”

“Don’t call me that. I put up with it for eighteen years for Buck’s sake but now that you’ve killed him I’ll be !@#$&% if I’ll put up with it anymore.”

I just shook my head, disbelieving. Maybe I was the one with the fever. Uncle B … the Uncle Bentley I knew … would never say such words to me in such a hateful way.

In an even nastier tone he asked, “What have you been doing? Dancing naked in the moonlight, celebrating your freedom from your parents? Fornicating with that other freak you were with? Come to take Buck’s land like you actually some right to it? You don’t really think I would let you make more little freaks to pollute the world with did you?”

A horrible suspicion struck me. And it stiffened my spine as well. “Thor is not a freak. He’s not a GWB or anything like that. He’s just a big man. And he is my husband.”

A snorting laugh preceded, “Your husband?! People get married … freaks fornicate and procreate if they aren’t fixed fast enough. The law …”

“That law was struck down as unconstitutional! You can’t force people to take and pass genetic screening tests before they are allowed to get a marriage license or have children.” I was in shock but I was also angry. I had to know how far this betrayal went.

I snarled, “Did your little girlfriend teach you to talk that way? Did she give you a blue and green bracelet to have as your own? Or did she put it through your nose like a ring to lead you around with?”

A cackle was my answer. “Those green idiots?! You really think those losers knew what they were doing? That I would be a part of their pathetic movement? They never would have gotten past first base if the Twelvers hadn’t decided to use them for their own purposes.”

“You’re a Twelver?!”

Rhetorically to the room he asked, “How could someone so stupid possibly be related to Buck?” To me he said, “It must be some of your mother’s dimwittedness coming through.”

I jumped to my feet, “Don’t you dare talk about my mother like that!”

“I’ll talk about her anyway I please. If she had listened to Bettie Sue and let the doctors do what they wanted to they could have started over if they just had to have a kid. God alone knows why they wanted one, there were enough of the little vermin running around and despite everything probably still are.”

I just looked at this man and tried to find a reason for his behavior. “You’ve … you’ve had some kind of breakdown. Between the hardships of your journey, the grief over my parents, whatever it is that woman and her friends did to you, and now your … your injury … that’s it, you’ve … you’ve had a breakdown.”

“I haven’t had a breakdown you fool. And stop changing the subject. This is your fault, all of it is. The fact that you breathe, that you exist, has caused all this misery in the world. I’m no greenie. I couldn’t agree with their methods but I did sympathize with their goals. Too many people. Too much pollution. Too many more being born every day … using up the resources, fouling the land and the water, wrecking the future we could have in this country … God’s country.”

My emotions beat at me. “Dad couldn’t have known how you felt. He never would have tolerated it. He certainly wouldn’t have trusted you to be my guardian in case something should happen to them.”

“Buck knew how I felt about people. I never hid it from anyone. He knew I had my concerns about you, concerns that you might be surprised he shared in part like whether you should ever get married and have children.” I knew that wasn’t true as soon as he’d said it because Dad talked to me. His problem was that he thought I was too young, not that I shouldn’t ever do it. Uncle Bentley continued to talk. “No matter how I felt however I would never have hurt you because it would have hurt Buck and your mother. The only reason I stood by you all this time is because of Buck. It’s not his fault the devil played games with your DNA. It might have been a different situation if your mother could still have kids after you but … you ruined that too. Buck was my best friend, more of a brother to me than my own were. And you killed him.”

I screamed, “I … did … not! The greenies and Twelvers did that. You told that to Aunt Belle yourself, that you saw the security tapes.”

“I didn’t see the security tapes you idiot, I was there … right there! I witnessed it all. Jen told me what was going to happen. I could have killed her but instead I used her. When I got the location we flew out there; I asked the twit if she wanted to watch, knew it would turn her on. Then the little tramp gets the time wrong and I can’t get your parents out in time.” He suddenly howls like a wounded beast. When he calms back down he tells me, “The only satisfaction I was going to have was to know that you died as they did. Then I saw you and that other freak running away, like cowards, like vermin from the exterminator. I tried to follow but Jen messed things up again and I wound up getting to your hotel room moments after you had left. That idiot brother of Jen’s and his boyfriend were freaking out, running off at the mouth about all that was about to go down and how their ride had never shown up. I told them to shut up and then took charge. We went back to the other place, I got your parents’ bodies out and then we got to the airport. ‘You don’t tell me what to do, I tell you what to do’ is the way I handled them from there on out. What did you do with the other one anyway? Kill him too?”

He was almost jabbering, like he had had this pent up inside him and the pressure relief valve had finally blown.

“The EMP came earlier than was expected as well. I explained to the little toad lickers that the Twelvers were probably betraying them, that they needed to follow me, that I would save them. I’d get them safely to Damascus. And that’s when Jen told me.”

“Told you what?” I asked against my will.

“She admitted that she’d been using me all along to create a cover in the community so that ‘her people’ could set up a Utopian society in the surrounding mountains. They planned to live like the Native Americans had, to use the established trails, live off the land, and to stay away from the cities and let them decay as Gaia or whatever deity of the moment they were worshipping reclaimed them.”

A piece of the puzzle fell into place. “That was the roadblocks.”

“Yes, the idiots. They pretended to be from the UN and that set people’s backs up straight way. They made folks suspicious. And then when they tipped their hand, no one wanted to convert to their earth worship. The green idiots pretended to agree to live and let live and called a town meeting at the school as a show of good will. Instead they poisoned a shipment of food they’d held back for bribes. As people entered their names were ticked off a roster that had been made up from files at City Hall. It was to be a big potluck and it made things as easy as serving Koolaide at Jonestown. I thought it was sweetly ironic that the greenies chose to burn the bodies on the football field. I wanted you to see it so bad, but it’s no longer important.” He was dispassionate about the town and its people but the next part of the story had him insanely gleeful.

He picked up the glass of water I had left him and took a small sip and continued. “There were two large contingents of them ... the greenie fools I mean. About three hundred in town and then about five hundred or so in and around Grayson Highlands State Park. They were supposed to be keeping people out of the rec area, out of my mountains, but they couldn’t seem to find two brain cells to rub together. Their leadership was all incommunicado; they hadn’t thought to secure enough long range radios against the EMP and hadn’t realized that their short range radios wouldn’t work in the mountains. So what did they do? What did the brainless wonders do?! They released some kind of bacteria thinking they would be able to depopulate the displaced crowd the same way they had many of the major cities. But guess what?”

When I didn’t answer, only stood staring at him, he screamed, “I said guess what?!”

“I … I don’t know.”

He laughed like it was a huge joke. “It wasn’t a bacteria, it was a virus. A virus!! Oh, they eventually killed the people on foot all right. They also killed themselves in the process. Some of the people didn’t die right away. Some of them were carriers. They walked into Damascus and wham bam thank you ma’am it worked its way through the people still here – the few townspeople that had escaped the school massacre and most of the green idiots.”

Before he could have another screaming fit I asked, “How did you and that group you were with survive?”

“Because I’m not an idiot like everyone else apparently is. I’d heard a man acting strangely had walked into town. I grabbed Jen … she was still useful at that point … and she wouldn’t go without her brother and friends. I locked us in and shot anyone that came close. The house was packed and if I hadn’t had a generator to keep those idiots pacified with their video games and music I’d have eventually killed them myself. Instead we waited for the infection to burn itself out … and then waited another two weeks to make sure. After that the town was mine … ours. We cleaned up the bodies and then moved on.”

Sure he was leaving a lot out I asked, “Then why were they shooting at you in the graveyard?”

“Jen … beautiful Jen. Only you saw her, she wasn’t beautiful anymore. She hadn’t really understood what the death of civilization meant; none of them had. I wasn’t about to leave them free to run off or take over my house and not let me back in. That’s my house with all of my secrets. I had to stay there or near there all the time. Instead I sent them out to do my bidding. They had to work for their living, most for the first time in their lives. Really work, not pay someone else with Daddy’s money to do it for them. They soon became tired of living off the land for every morsel of food, of doing without … it wasn’t ‘fun’ anymore. Wimps. I knew Buck had kept long term emergency food here at the farm. I drew the brainless wonders a map. The first group found a van of food off the road but got scared by the corpses in the cab. They grabbed what they could carry and came back but then couldn’t find it again the second time I sent them out to bring back more. The next party I sent out never came back at all. It rained that night and I figure they either found the van and took enough food to run off or they got lost in the mountains and died. Who gives a @#$% either way.”

He shook his head in disgust and continued, “Supplies were beginning to dwindle and reality was setting in even for the dumbest of them and some made the choice to self-medicate their worries away. They hit the liquor locations first. There wasn’t much of it around town and I thought they’d get over it fast enough then man up. Men?! Jen was more manly than most of those idiots were. Then Willis’ boyfriend died in a kayak accident, taking a rapid he had no business taking. Personally I think it was intentional, he wanted to die but was too big of a coward to do it himself. That put Willis over the edge and he started drinking the hard stuff twenty-four seven. One of the girls hung herself and another slit her wrists over in the graveyard. Things went downhill fast from there. When the lot of them weren’t drinking they were smoking some pot Willis had been hoarding. When the pot ran out they hit the pharmacy. That’s when I stepped on that bottle.”

I sat down, trying to absorb what he was telling me; trying to accept the fact that I’d never known my uncle at all.

“It’s not that they wouldn’t help me cut off the infected foot, it was that they were in no condition to. They were all stoned out of their minds. When I came to after doing it myself I saw Jen holding the foot and looking at it, smelling it. Then she dropped it and said, ‘if your foot offends thee cut it off’ before laughing like a loon and going back inside. That’s when I knew they’d all have to go but I was too weak for a while to do anything about it. And then the pharmacy ran dry and they crashed … and crashed hard. Jen the worst; she was suffering from some kind of drug induced paranoia, mumbling about Gaia’s revenge and how balance needed to be restored … none of it made sense but they were all listening to her.”

His breathing had grown funny and his skin looked thin and stretched across his face. “You saw what happened. I guess we’d both had enough. I knew if I was going to survive the winter on the meager supplies I had, they would have to go. Even in their mentally impaired state they realized I was done supporting them. It was a stalemate until I took it into my head to end it. While they were all sleeping I left a note saying that I’d taken the last of the drugs in the town over to the graveyard to bury them for safe keeping. Knowing they wouldn’t be able to resist I was waiting for them, planned on ambushing them. Then you had to mess that up too when you showed up. I had to leave off getting a good shot at Jen to shoot that monster you were with.”

That brought me to my feet again. “What?” I growled. “You shot Thor? You had no reason to. If you had wanted to be left alone we would have fixed you up and then been done it. There was no need …”

“There was every need! I could see how protective he was of you in just those few short minutes, how you felt about him. A blind man could have seen it. It was revolting. I knew I had to get rid of him the same way I had to get rid of that idiot Dink. Both of them would have just gotten in the way.”

My eyes were dry but there was a river of tears pouring from my shattered heart. He’d killed Mr. Dink because of me. He’d shot Thor because of me. He believed, truly believed, that my parents were dead because of me.

“Why hurt them? Why not just kill me? Wasn’t that the plan all along? Why wait eighteen years to do it?”

“I never would have hurt you because of Buck. I already told you that.”

Another thought struck me. “Did … did Aunt Bettie Sue feel the same way?”

“What? Her? That traitorous whore of Babylon?”

In spite of everything he had said, that is what made my eyes nearly fall out of my sockets. He saw it and laughed, “Hah! Had everyone fooled all these years haven’t I? Even your mom. But Buck knew. He knew she’d betrayed me, gotten pregnant by some other man when I refused to do the deed. Ever since we’d gotten married she’d been trying to trick me into giving her a baby. She knew how I felt about it but she just kept trying and pushing, wouldn’t let it alone. I finally went to the doctor and took care of it myself without telling her. But then she turns up pregnant and I knew. I confronted her and told her I knew, told her how I knew. Oh how she kicked and screamed and cried … then she ran out the door, threatened to tell your parents all she knew about how I really felt about you. I couldn’t have that, no I couldn’t, so I prayed that God would take care of it and God heard me. Oh yes He did. Of course it didn’t hurt that that I’d drained the break lines in the little huzzy’s car. It wasn’t my fault she died, it was God’s choice. I hadn’t really wanted her dead, just the brat.”

“Did … Did Dad know? About that part?”

He shook his head. “Never even suspected. Just told me I shouldn’t feel so guilty for being angry at her, that I couldn’t let it eat up my soul. Imagine, out of all the people I knew in my life only Buck ever gave a @#$% about my soul. He was the only one that tried to save me right on back to the day my brothers pushed me off Whitehead Bridge.”

I’d heard the story so many times growing up that he didn’t need to explain. His older brothers were real brutes and had thrown the small and sickly younger boy off of a local bridge with no thought to his survival. My father, just as young but healthier and stronger, jumped into the water and pulled him out and then took him home to his grandfather (my dad’s father was already gone more than home by then) who then turned around and had at the older Griffey brothers up one side and down the other with the full support and blessing of the Sheriff of the time who’d had his fill of the brothers as well. Their father had been killed in a mining accident in West Virginia, their mother died shortly afterwards, and the boys had been sent to live with their grandparents. The grandfather didn’t live out the year and the grandmother was too ill equipped to raise the two older and already wild boys. My father and Bentley Griffey had been inseparable from that point forward.

“Uncle Bentley …”

“I told you not to call me that,” the man growled.

I sighed, “I can’t stop feeling something at the drop of a hat. You’ve been like a second father to me my whole life. You loved my parents, Dad especially; even now I can hear it in your voice. Just because I’m suddenly finding out you’ve been lying about how you felt about me doesn’t make my feelings for you evaporate like a shattered mist. You may be breaking my heart but that doesn’t mean the feelings aren’t still in there.”

“Hogwash You don’t know what love is, you can’t.”

I shrugged not knowing how to explain it or combat his madness. “You’re sick. I don’t know how much of this to believe. I don’t know if it is the infection that has you eat up or just what. I want to give you the benefit of the doubt for Dad’s sake if for no other reason. You say you’re no greenie … that you never would have hurt me because of Dad. To me that means that you aren’t my enemy. Just … just let me … do … do for you what I can. Do it in Dad’s memory. Then when you’re well I’ll … I’ll take you back to your house, set you up good. Make sure your have enough …”

“Don’t you dare!”

In frustration I asked, “Don’t dare what?! What now?!!”

“Don’t try and blackmail me with your father’s memory. You’re not worthy to have such a man as a father. While he was alive I would have died for you you little freak and gladly, but it would have been for his sake and not yours. But Buck is gone and it is your fault. You … must … pay.” And from under the covers he pulled a small, snub-nosed revolver.

Sadly I looked and told him, “Uncle Bentley, you never gave me a chance to tell you anything of my journey home. And this is my home whether you want to recognize that or not. And the man I was with, Thor, he’s a good man, but that isn’t all he is. He is also a good teacher. And one of the things that he taught me was to never leave a loaded gun lying around that I wasn’t going to have control over.”

“Don’t try and use your tricks on me. I loaded this gun myself. I’ve wasted enough breath. Time for you to meet the devil.” He pointed the gun …

… and suddenly a blade sprouted from his eye and he collapsed.

I looked over at Thor, unsteady on his feet and leaning on the banister in the darken stairwell. Through tears I told him, “I found the gun in his inner jacket pocket when I brought him in the house. I took care of it then. It was unloaded.”

Thor looked me straight in the eye and said, “I know.”
 

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 69A

I glanced at my uncle … and despite his words he would remain my uncle in my mind for the rest of my life, after all every family tree has a few nuts in it … then turned back and slowly walked up the stairs to Thor and gently put my shoulder under his good arm to help him back to bed.

“Did you hear what I said?” he asked.

From a distance I heard myself answer. “Yeah.”

“Rochelle … Hon …”

“You did it to protect me.” After a pause that gave me a chance to absorb the truth I said, “You did it so I wouldn’t have to. Now lean on me and watch that arm as we turn the corner. I want to make sure that you haven’t started your wound bleeding again.”

He was as quiet and solemn as I was after that, letting me help him back to the room, accepting the antibiotic, drinking a glass of water without me having to coerce him. I got him comfortable and warm – he had started to shiver showing that he was still affected by his blood loss – and then gave him half of one of the pain pills that I’d found because I knew he would never tolerate me trying to make him take a whole one. When I turned to leave he grabbed my hand with his left, “Rochelle …”

I bent down and kissed him gently. I looked him straight in the eye so he knew I was speaking what I believed to be the truth. “If I’ve learned anything since this all started it’s that life isn’t a fairy tale. There wasn’t going to be a happy ending with Uncle B. He was sick. Where and when that sickness started I don’t know – maybe I’ll never know – but I’m satisfied to leave it at that. As for what you did? You put a very sick and damaged man in a place where he could no longer be a danger to himself or others. Even if he hadn’t been mentally cracked I’m not sure if we could have saved him. I don’t know how much you heard …”

His fingers interlocked with mine and tightened briefly. “Enough; back to where you were yelling it was the greenies that had killed your parents.”

I nodded. “Then you heard nearly all of it. When I was changing the bandages on the stump … I could see the bone, it looked like something had chewed on it. And there were blisters on the skin that remained and …” I nearly gagged remembering. “I had a pet pig get gangrene once; it was my favorite out of the best litter of piglets from one of my own sows. It followed me everywhere just like a dog. One look at the puncture area and Dad put it down and destroyed the carcass. I was heartbroken but he said it’s a poison that is next to impossible to contain once it gets going. He said he was saving the animal a lot of misery and while I could grieve I had to watch out and not be selfish about preferring the pig’s company to the pig’s comfort.” I sighed. “Uncle B said he started smelling it yesterday but that had to be a lie or a fantasy. He chopped off his own foot and that still wasn’t enough.” I shuddered and couldn’t continue.

Thor was already drowsy but didn’t want to let me go when I tugged my hand. “Thor, I’ll be back as soon as I can. I have to … have to deal with the body. It won’t keep. That leg … it won’t take long ‘til …” I shuddered again tasting the bile as it climbed up my throat this time.

“I … I …” He was starting to have difficulty stringing his words together even though he tried to sit back up.

I gently pushed him back onto the mattress and kissed his lips to stop him, then whispered, “I know.”

He sighed and finally released me to do what had to be done. I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t shed some tears for the man that had been my uncle in my heart if not in his. It didn’t seem to matter that he was as crazy as a rabid boar drunk on sour corn mash. Not even his hateful words could completely erase what he had done for me as a child. I bound his body in his own bedding and then tide it securely with some macramé cord from my mother’s work room. Using the moonlight I carried the corpse down to the cabin and then further down into the old root cellar. It was cold down in there and the body would keep and not draw predators; I was in no mood to deal with a bear and the messy destruction it would cause.

I’d be glad when November came and the bears started taking longer naps. Most people don’t realize that black bears in the Smokies don’t really hibernate in deep sleep all winter. Some of them took little more than long cat naps, getting up and moving around anytime it warmed up a little. I’d tracked more than one bear out of the area by following its prints in the snow. That led me to barn one more time to make sure all was safe.

I checked the horses and found them to be very content to be left alone in their stalls. No tracks around the outside as far as I could see, but I was annoyed to find the carcass of a large mouse near the hay. Foghorn must have attacked it because I hadn’t seen Boots or Barney – twin feline hellions that took their job as mousers serious enough to run a human down if they got in the way. I loosened some fresh hay into each of the horse stalls and got a friendly chuff from both of them for the extra attention.

I didn’t want to waste anymore kerosene working in the dark but I had to do something to work off the shakes that were beginning to set in. I decided to bring in all of the food from the wagon, especially the potatoes. No sense in leaving a temptation for the wild critters or waking up to find mice had gotten into everything.

I was thankful that the wheelbarrow wheel wasn’t deflated; using the barrow made it a lot easier and faster to empty the wagon. In fact, once I started I couldn’t seem to stop. The entire contents of the wagon was soon deposited on the living room floor and I closed and barred the barn door for the last time that evening.

It would make too much noise to trying and put everything away so I decided to do a more thorough walk through of the house and make a list of what needed to be done and try and prioritize it. I grabbed a pad of paper and pencil from my room when I checked on Thor and finally started the task I had set myself. Every step brought back memories but I tried to keep them in check. My grandmothers had given me good examples of how you could deal with grief constructively no matter how deep the pain and warned me away from destructive behaviors that only led to more hurt.

It again impressed me that there was very little wrong with the house that a thorough cleaning wouldn’t take care of. I gave prayers of thanksgiving when I didn’t see a single mouse dropping. The broken glass was a problem since the windows were thick and double paned but I knew how to replace them with the spares that Dad kept in his workshop; the experience learned after Jonathon and I had done a number on one with a foul ball one summer.

I was growing weary but unable to rest so I continued down into the basement. As expected no damp showed. Dad had grown up in a house that had sat beside the cabin that he had since torn down and hadn’t wanted to deal with the same problems in any home that he built. The floor was poured, decorative concrete that had flecks of stuff mixed it to make it look like terrazzo. One wall was completely faced with native stone and the large fireplace and built in shelves surrounding it took up the whole of it. More built in storage shelves covered another long wall and I went over and used the hidden lever to open one of the sections. In that small space was all of the gizmos, wires, and such that ran the house. I’d need to check the propane level in the tank but once I made the switch over to the whole house generator we could run what we wanted … or not. Better not to count your chickens before they’re hatched. We heated with wood but the other appliances and the house lights ran on propane and some solar. Even if it worked, the propane wouldn’t last forever and I’d learned to do without on the road home. I could always cook on the big wood stove in the canning kitchen or in any of the fireplaces in the house, including the one in the basement that Dad had put cast iron cranes in as well as a rotisserie that he had built himself. To be honest I’d be happy just to get the well and hot water tank up and running. I’d already seen that the windmill was still working in the livestock lot but I wanted to take a hot shower every now and again.

I closed that door and then opened the next panel - this one opening into the larger, hidden storage area that Dad had put so much work into. Knowing now what I didn’t know then I realized that while everything in the room would be a blessing, it would likely only get us through until spring planting time if it’s all we ate. I’d already seen the upstairs kitchen pantry was still as full as I remembered, but not as full as we would need to get us through until the main harvest season.

My head was whirling. I had a ton of things that absolutely needed to be done but Thor’s care came first. I needed to check the orchard; food couldn’t be wasted. I needed to take the wagon and empty that van before it fell the rest of the way into the ravine. I needed to cut more wood; the first snow would fly soon. I needed to get back to Uncle B’s place … and the rest of the town … and salvage what I could before the weather damaged it all. I had to bury the body.

And then I realized I’d never asked him where he’d laid my parents’ bodies to rest. That did it. I laid my head down on the table and let the grief finally take me for a while. When I was done I’d bled most of the remaining poison off and taken my new load up. Never again would I cry so hard and so long. I used a kitchen towel to wipe my face and then I went upstairs, undressed and put on one of my flannel nightgowns from my own closet, and then curled up in the overstuffed chair that I’d always used for reading.

The sun woke me about the same time I heard a familiar cursing voice from down the hall. I jumped up and raced to the bathroom. “Thor?!”

A falsely jovial voice asked me, “You finally awake sleepy head?”

“Don’t make me feel worse than I already do,” I said, the memory of the previous day crashing into me. “What fell and why are you cursing about it?”

“A man needs some pride,” he growled.

“Don’t start that again; I thought we’d been through that last time you got hurt,” I told him not bothering to hide my impatience.

The door finally opened and I noticed that wasn’t all that was open. He hadn’t been able to zip or button up. “You don’t honestly think you are going to get dressed and wander around do you?”

“Ro-chelle …”

I shook my head. “Don’t you growl at me. I could have … l-l-lost you in an instant yest … yesterday. And you still aren’t out of the woods. Now you march right back into that room and climb in that bed and … and if you don’t mind me I’ll strip you myself and tie you down.”

He opened his mouth on an angry retort then got a funny look on his face, looked at me and then said, “You know, that right there’s got possibilities.”

I couldn’t help it, I started laughing. And then I was leaning into him while he used the wall as support. Unfortunately the laughter turned to tears, but only briefly. I’d cried out most of it the previous night.

He finally let me help him back to bed, paler and in more pain that he wanted to admit. I gave him another dose of antibiotic but he insisted the pain pill only be a quarter this time. “I need to stay awake. Those things must be powerful if a half one knocked me out like it did.”

“That was reaction more than anything. And blood loss. If the quarter doesn’t do anything …”

“We’ll see. Now tell me what has been going on, why you were sleeping in that chair instead of beside me, and … and the rest of it including why you are rushing to get dressed like you are.”

I sighed, “The bed’s too small for both of us; it’s only a long twin and I didn’t want to take the chance of hitting your arm. I took stock of the house last night; you can look at my list and see what you think of it. I’m getting dressed because the animals need seeing to before they bust the barn door down.” I was tucking my shirt tail in as I left the room. “I’ll make your breakfast when I come in. Hopefully I can steal some eggs from the hens.”

“Hens? What hens?!” he called but I didn’t stop as I pounded down the stairs, grabbing my jacket as I went out the door.

The horses were less work than normal since all I really needed to do was turn them out into the corral. The chickens had already found their way out into the yard and were having a high ol’ time scratching away as the day warmed up to a better temperature than I had felt in a week. That left a couple of nests easy to find and I stole the eggs that I could. I noted that one of the hens must have turned cannibal because I saw a nest that an egg eater had gotten to, I’d need to figure out which one it was and cull it as I didn’t want the behavior in the flock. I took a bucket, cleaned it, and then got some water from the livestock well.

It took another hour but I did manage to provide Thor with a good meal but it was more lunch than breakfast. He nearly wolfed it down while I picked at my own share.

“Hon …”

“I’m sorry Thor, I just can’t eat. You want mine?”

He looked hopeful, “You really don’t want it?”

“No. I need to get up anyway. I need to go dig a hole,” I told him sadly.

“A ...? Oh.” He grabbed my hand as I was switching plates with him. “Rochelle, you shouldn’t do that by yourself.”

“It isn’t far. The family plot is just …”

“You heard what I said.”

“Yes, I did. But let’s be practical. I need you to get well quickly. If I keep asking you to stop healing long enough to come baby me through something then it will be spring before you get your strength back.”

“I didn’t hear you asking for anything,” he grumbled.

I shook my head, “You always know what I want … and need … before it comes out of my mouth.” I stopped and sighed. “I’d be a fool not to admit I would rather have you with me but I can’t justify selfishly putting your health at risk.”

“You’re schmoozing me again,” he said with a raised eyebrow.

“I am not. It’s the truth and you know it.”

He shook his head. “It may be the truth but you put it in such a way as to make yourself out to be the bad guy and me some ruddy saint. I don’t like it when you do that. We’re partners and I don’t want you to develop the feeling that I’d ever force you to be that subservient.”

“I wouldn’t …”

“Yeah well, would or wouldn’t, I still don’t like it. And I don’t like you being right about this either. I want a detailed map where this place is and how to get to you if you aren’t back when you say you’re going to be back.”

I left quickly after that, knowing that Thor wasn’t just talking when he said if I wasn’t back on the minute I said I would be, no matter what condition he was in he would come looking for me. Knowing my horse would be getting a work out in the coming days pulling the wagon I used Thor’s horse to transport the body. It was only three quarter of a mile from the house but it was over in an area that was hilly and surrounding by a copse of trees.

The graves were all marked and taken care of two or three times every season. Because of this even the very oldest ones were mostly still legible and we had a map of all of the burials and whose remains they contained in the family papers. When I walked over to where my parents would have been buried I got a shock. There was a new grave there with stones marking the head and foot. There was a wooden cross with my parents’ names on it but the B and C’s in my father’s name were backwards. The only person I knew that did that was …

“Well now, who be that I wonder.”

I turned so fast my head spun. I squealed, “Mr. Dink!!”

“Aw now, none ‘o that,” he complained gleefully when I caught him and hugged him and nearly spun him around. “Do I look like a chew toy?”

‘Mr. Dink, oh Mr. Dink!!”

In alarm he said, “You ain’t going ter start crying are ye?”

I sniffled my tears back and said, “No sir but … oh he said he’d killed you.” I was doing everything I could to keep myself together but I was nearly lightheaded from the surprise.

He snorted, “You talking about that crazy Griffey boy. Shame … real shame how he done turned out. Had promise but in the end he chose the same dark road as the older two.”

“But how? He … he seemed so certain.”

“Yeah and he ain’t the first I’ve fooled that was out for my blood. Ain’t saying he didn’t nick me but I slid on down into the river and floated away afore he got me good. Got tired of watching that bunch. Got boring seeing ‘em do nothing but act crazy. Had to stop watching after he near about killed his self.”

“You saw him … saw him cut his foot off?”

“Cut it? The boy chopped it off. Near took his hand off. Even so I was going ter go down and hep him, bring him out to the woods so he could soak up some of God’s healing, til that she cat he’d taken up with came out. Figured after that he’d made his bed and he could lie in it or die in it without my help. You got any tobacky?”

“I … I’m not sure Mr. Dink. If there is any left it’s in the Burley barn like always. I … I just got back home yesterday.”

He nodded and said, “Yep, saw ye. Ye gonna have to bury the other one too?”

“What? No … no … uh … Mr. Dink … the other one, he’s my husband.”

He gave me a look then grinned his gap tooth grin and said, “Ain’t that Johnny, I would have knowd him right off. You went and found you a big ‘un. Is he a good ‘un too?”

I nodded, overcome and not know how to tell him about my parents. “About …”

“Yer fixin’ ter tell me about Buck. Ain’t no need. He done tol’ me hisself. Tol’ me he didn’t want ter be buried in that stupid place Bentley planted him, trussed up like some ol’ Egyptian. So I dug ‘em up, Buck and yer maw, and here they be. When Bentley found out that’s when he come after me. Crazy boy. I was the one that taught him and Buck both how to get around in these woods, ain’t no man better at it than me. What he thought he was doing I don’t know. And now he’s come to a bad end. Buck tol’ me that too. Always knew he would. Knew it the day I saw him spit on his brother’s grave. Cain’t nothing good ever come out of that much anger and lack of forgiveness. It poisons yer.”

“Dad … Dad told you? About Uncle Bentley?”

“Ayup,” he said as he started going through his pockets. “Got any tobacky?”

Used to his ways I told him again if there was any it would be in the barn same as always. “What did? I mean …” I stopped, embarrassed at believing my father’s ghost was speaking to this man.

“Oh, some of it was man stuff … young thang like you don’t need to know that part … but he said mostly that if you was to choose to bury Bentley beside him and your maw it wouldn’t be a bad thing. That he wouldn’t be holdin’ it again’ you are anything foolish like that just in case you was to worry at it. I’m gonna to check the barn. I’m low on me smokes.”

The old man wandered away towards the barn where my father always kept some tobacco drying for him and I, praying I hadn’t just had a mental breakdown, started digging the grave I’d come to dig. Two hours and four feet later I hit a good sized chunk of granite and knew I’d likely gotten as deep as I was going to get unless I pick another burial site. I laid the body in the hole and it took a lot less time to file in that it had to dig it out.

I rode the horse back to the house and to my amazement saw Thor and Mr. Dink sitting on the porch together. I walked into the yard and Mr. Dink chastised me with a “Your late. You started your man here to worrying. Fifteen minutes is fifteen minutes Rocky girl.”

Feeling bemused I said, “Yes sir. Would you like to stay for dinner?”

He shook his head, “Naw. Need to go check on that woman what’s camped over on Fork Mountain. Her and her two kids would go right good with Jace Tanner. His hunting cabin ain’t too fur from there. It’s good to have something to keep you warm on cold nights. And you best stop yer fooling around young ‘un, you ain’t got time for it. Snow’s gonna fly early this year. The animals say so, dens are all built thick or dug deep. Give it a week, maybe two and we’ll be seeing the first flakes of a long winter.” He turned to look at Thor and say, “You tell her what I tol’ you. And tell her she don’t need to plant no more tobackey, ain’t gonna need it none I reckon.”

We both watched silently as one of the kindest and craziest people I’d ever had the privilege to know walk off into the forest. I shook my head and then laughed, “I never pictured Mr. Dink as a cupid.”

I was nearly loopy with relief and some happiness. Part of me felt guilty for all but dancing on Uncle Bentley’s grave but it didn’t stop me from smiling for the first time in what felt like forever. I did a stupid little jig that had Thor trying not to laugh since it would have jarred his arm and then I flopped down beside him on the porch. “Mr. Dink is alive! What did you think of him?”

He shook his head, “I can honestly say I’ve never met anyone like him. I never even got the opportunity to raise a weapon on him. He was just there and shaking my hand and congratulating me for having the sense to find a good woman. He sized me up and said something about your father approving the match though it came a little sooner than he would have preferred and then we sat and I swear he had my life story out of me quicker than I could ever imagine.”

“Yep, that’s Mr. Dink. He doesn’t take to many people but I guess he took to you. He’s a little fay.”

“A … a little what?” Thor asked.

“A little fay … kind of … special, weird, magical, mysterious … he knows things that … that …” I stopped. “What was it he wanted you to tell me?”

Thor shook his head and said, “Later. Right now there’s a chicken in the kitchen waiting to be fried up. Dink said that you don’t have to worry about any of the rest of them being egg eaters whatever the heck that means.” I opened my mouth and then closed it. Yeah, Mr. Dink was fay and I refused to take the beautiful mystery of that away even if it always had creeped me out more than a little.

But the good feeling of finding Mr. Dink alive slowly drained away as the reality of the last few days and our current situation set back in. “Thor …”

“Not until after I’ve got something in my stomach and can take another one of those pills.”

Obviously he knew I was going to tell him I needed to take the wagon and empty the box van tomorrow. Or maybe he didn’t know exactly what I was going to tell him but he knew he wasn’t going to like it. I reached out and felt his forehead. “You aren’t feverish.”

“No,” he answered quickly.

“But you aren’t feeling good.”

It took longer for him to answer this time. “That’s to be expected. Another day and …”

“I thought you didn’t want to talk about it until after you had eaten?” I reminded me.

“I don’t need any smart aleckiness Ro-chelle.”

I let that go, knowing he was foul because he was hurting and feeling helpless, neither one a place any man wants to find himself. I decided to let dinner put him in a better mood. Stewed potatoes, pinto beans, creamed sweet corn, cornbread with honey, and fried chicken. It was half way through dinner before he started talking again.

“All right. But I go with you. We’ll do it like before. I’ll prop up in the wagon and …”

I wanted to reached across the table and yank his ear off. But the reality was I knew there was absolutely no talking him out of it. And I couldn’t bring myself to lie to him and just set off without him.

The next morning wasn’t fun for either of us. Thor was even more sore than the previous day despite the wound looking and smelling clean and there being no fever. I laid a thin mattress cot in the back and bundled him up with blankets so much he complained. “Stop it Rochelle. I won’t be able to take a shot if I need to.”

“You start shooting with that shoulder being in the shape it is and you’ll do it some damage.”

We weren’t really angry with each other, more our usual nitpicking but it didn’t feel appropriate which made us even more aware and cranky. The box van wasn’t much bigger than a bread truck but it was completely full. After several different methods I finally settled on emptying a goodly number of boxes, setting them on the road bed, and then when I had a stack on the road bed transferring them to the wagon. It was irritating work as I had to climb down to the van, lift things out at a weird angle, carry it back up to the road and then lift and load the boxes in to the wagon.

Thor was in a lot of pain and by the time we took the first load back to the house I was ready to come up with some excuse to call it a day for his sake. But the man proved to have more sense than I was giving him credit for.

“This isn’t working. I don’t want to admit it but it isn’t working. I’m of absolutely no use to you out there except as a distraction.” He stopped and scrubbed his pain-filled face with his large paw of a hand. “Saddle my horse but leave him in the corral. It took us three hours to do this load. I’ll give you four to do the next since you’ll be able to load the wagon with more boxes. If you aren’t back by then I’m coming to look for you. Understand?”

With Thor not around and with me not having to drive quite as slowly to avoid jarring him it didn’t take me four hours, it didn’t even take me three and I was able to completely clean the van out, including the packet of documents from the cab and draining the diesel fuel from the tank, before the end of the day. The only harrowing part was at the very end I had to scramble out of the back before it completely slipped over the edge. Unloading it had shifted its weight from the back where it hung on part of a fallen log to the front where the engine was located. I didn’t tell that to Thor later, nor did I explain how close it had been. I had a feeling he suspected but sometimes ignorance is bliss and he avoided asking though I noted the effort it cost him.

Thor had slept off and on through the day and now that I was bone tired he was still too awake to sleep right off. To appease the anxiety that had set in over being left out I opened the boxes and cases and he helped me to tally up what we had.

Towards the end Thor yawned and said, “I don’t care what part of the world you are from, rich people just don’t think the same as the rest of us.”

I managed a tired chuckle and admitted, “Nana was … different. She came from money; lots of money. She tried to act like your average citizen but the truth is she was just too disconnected from the type of life most of us lived. Oh she cleaned some of her house, washed the occasional dish, cooked a couple of times a month when the hired help had the day off but that’s not really enough. Her idea of budgeting was a whole lot different from my parents’ that’s for doggone sure. I don’t even want to know what she paid for all of this … this stuff.”

Thor rolling his eyes as he looked at a case of canned items I’d just opened said, “Canned buffalo and elk I can understand, but canned alligator? And canned rattlesnake? Are you telling me you actually ate that stuff before you hooked up with us?”

I snorted, “Yeah. I was hungry. And, despite what it looks like, it wasn’t bad. What about you though. I heard some of the stories you guys told. Or was it all tall tales?”

“Hon I’ve eaten some really raunchy stuff, things I don’t even want to remember. But I suppose beggars can’t be choosers. Just don’t tell me when you feed it to me.” I had nudged a can of canned whole baby conch.

“Conch isn’t bad. I had it that time the GWBs had a boating summer camp out of the Florida Keys.” I laughed but a couple of tears rolled down my cheeks. “Jonathon was seasick the whole entire trip. His brother started calling him puke-face and wouldn’t stop until I threatened to toss him overboard with his mouth taped shut so no one could hear him yell for help.”

An eyebrow went up. “Mean thing weren’t you?”

“Not as mean as Jon … a … thon’s …” I was crying again. “Lord what is wrong with me?! Every time I turn around …”

“Come here.” And since I wanted to anyway I didn’t say anything about the way he was ordering me about. “Stop trying to avoid it. You’ve been putting it off for months. Now we’re home your mind just wants to do what it should have had the chance to do all along … grieve. Don’t run from it, it’s not healthy. And I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide anything from me.”

“Please don’t go all Dr. Phil on me,” I told him half jokingly.

“Who?”

I snorted, “Something my parents used to say. Apparently there used to be some talk show host on TV that played at being a psychologist … or maybe it was the other way around. I looked him up on the internet once it was really creepy.”

“Oh you think I’m being creepy?”

“No! And don’t try and tickle or you might wind up having to take a whole pain pill instead of just a small piece of one.” I sighed. “I’ve got to go to town tomorrow.”

Thor groaned.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 69B

“I mean it … and you know it. I need to go by Uncle Bentley’s place and then so pick up some stuff in town. It has to be done. If nothing else I need to check out the clinic and the vet’s to see if I can find any more antibiotics.”

We talked about it some more and I thought we’d worked it all out but about three in the morning Thor woke me up knocking the bell off the bed where it hit me in the head. I’d brought in a cot rather than sleep in the chair another night. He was running a fever.

For three days the fever bounced up and down. I didn’t dare leave or even go far from the house. I chopped wood, tried to start the generator which didn’t want to cooperate, cleaned the house, packed my parents’ clothing away in the cedar closet, and unpacked our stuff and gave it a good washing. Finally Thor started feeling better on the fourth day and by the fifth he was much improved.

He was sitting on the porch while I ran sheets through the mangler and then hung them on the clothes line. “Hon …”

“Thor I’ve put it off as long as I can and you know it. Mr. Dink said …”

Tired and irritated Thor said, “I still don’t know why you believe that. It’s a beautiful day. Warm even … or at least warmer than it has been. Why would you think it is suddenly going to up and snow?!”

“Before another week is out there will be flakes coming down. I haven’t gone to the orchard. I haven’t gone over the town. I …”

“We! We were supposed to do that. No you alone … us … together!” he growled.

“And who said I’m going to get it all done in a couple of days?”

“Then why do it at all until I can get back on my feet?” he snapped.

Trying not to lose my temper I told him, “Thor, I know this place. We saw for ourselves there weren’t enough people left to fill a teacup. I need to go and see what I can manage to get for us. Later ... when the snow starts coming down … I’m going to have to have your help to manage some of the bigger loads but for now I want to see if I can salvage some of the smaller, lighter items. Especially any food around town.”

“I heard what Griffey said as well as you. He was down to “meager” supplies. Why do you think you’ll find something he didn’t?”

“I don’t for sure, but given the fact that Uncle Bentley wasn’t doing the looking, that those people with him were, it’s possible they missed stuff.”

“’Those people’ were greenies and there could be more of them around.”

“Possibly but I doubt it. Even if there are I doubt they are operating in a group of any size. Thor please, I don’t want to argue. You know its necessary. If it wasn’t I wouldn’t leave you, not even for a few hours.”

He growled, “I don’t need a babysitter woman.”

“Argh!!” I bellowed. “Do you know you have got to be the worst patient in North America? Possibly even further abroad? If I didn’t love you I swear I would …”

“Would what?” he asked quietly.

“I don’t know, something desperate,” I complained as I hung up the last item from that load, a pillow case I had embroidered for my hope chest at my mother’s insistence.

The day had turned warm and I felt sweaty and sticky and totally out of sorts. I didn’t relish the idea of going into town alone for lots of reasons, but primarily because of the unwelcome memories that were liable to jump out at me from around every corner.

“You could always try blackmail.”

Thor’s statement came so far out of left field it took me a moment to turn around and look at him. He wasn’t looking at my face. The day had turned warm enough that I’d washed my hair and shaved my legs the night before and I was only in cutoff shorts and a t-shirt that seemed to be a lot smaller in places than it used to be.

All I could do was look at him and shake my head. “You have got to be the most outrageous …”

Then he eyes climbed to mine and he grinned that grin I knew so well … and cherished. On a bit of whimsy I decided to call his bluff. Thinking of every slinky, pouty vixen from the movies I could I slowly walked up to him and put one hand on his shoulder. And he laughed spoiling it.

“What are you doing?” he snorted between belly chuckles.

I picked up the empty laundry basket and put it over his head before storming in the house. “Hon! Come on! I didn’t mean nothin’!!”

Good thing the old wood range was designed to take abuse because I was slamming pots and pans down, getting dinner reading to cook.

“Aw, come on now. You just caught me off guard,” Thor tried to coax after he’d finally been able to get up and follow me inside.

“Don’t you ‘aw, come on’ me. Just because I don’t know how to bribe you exactly doesn’t mean you needed to laugh at my first try,” I growled.

“You’re right. And when you’re right, you’re right. Now give me a second chance.”

I turned up my nose at his grossly inadequate apology. “Well I don’t feel like it now.”

“I bet I can get you back in the mood.”

I cracked eggs and scrambled them so hard they nearly flew out of the bowl. “Thor …” I said warningly when he came up behind me and tried to kiss me between his fits at trying not to laugh.

He was finally forced to sit down at the kitchen table and just let it out. I nearly thumped him with a skillet. “Hon … I …” Snort, gasp, laugh, cough. “I really … you just … the look on your face …”

“I was trying to do a sexy pout like I saw those beautiful women do in the movies,” I muttered, embarrassed.

Of course that set him off again. “Woman, you make my life worth living. Now come here and let me apologize properly.”

I was still irritated but not amiss to a little bribery myself. “You already turn me inside out just being yourself, you don’t need to try and be anything else. That’s what I think is beautiful. Those actresses … they weren’t nothing but doctoring up, photoshopped, fakes.” Then he pulled me closer into his lap and said into my ear, “I like what I’ve got right here. I’m more grateful to God than I can put into words. I still don’t know, after all that I’ve done in my life, how He could bless me like this.”

When he talked like that my mullygrubs melted away. I put a hand on either side of his face and said, “The feelings mutual Mr. Thoresen.”

“I love you Mrs. Thoresen.”

I nearly forgot to cook the dinner but I couldn’t spend the rest of the day sitting in his lap like a lazy cat. While the cornbread baked I ran out and brought the sheets in then took them back upstairs and put them on the beds I had finally aired out. The rooms had been aired out nicely as well and overall the house was finally losing the neglected feel and smell than it had had.

The pain pill Thor had been forced to take in order to eat his dinner cut short any other plans I might have been devising but we did manage to agree that I would go into town alone tomorrow but that I would start early and then come back before two in the afternoon. That would give Thor time to try and make it to town if I ran into trouble.

I left the farm right as the sky was turning pink. Thor gave me such a laundry list of do’s and don’ts that I wondered how I was supposed to get anything accomplished and make the trip worth it at all. By the time I pulled up in front of Uncle Bentley’s it was full light. I sighed and stepped down, tying my horse to the front porch rail. I put my foot on the bottom step and started to climb the stairs. I was so not looking forward to the task in front of me.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 70

The weather had the screen door sticking. Uncle Bentley never seemed to get around to fixing that in life and in death I’m sure he cared about it even less. He had always excused it by saying the sound let him know that someone was about to bother him. Mom always thought he left it that way because he knew it annoyed people. I decided then and there it was no longer important for me to worry about what Uncle Bentley would no longer get around to doing. He’d made his choice and though it had brought me pain I couldn’t go back and fix whatever had been wrong. I absolved myself of any blame for what had happened and the choices the man had made and did what I had to do without feeling guilty about it.

In the rush to get Thor and Uncle Bentley some place I could care for them I hadn’t bothered to lock the place as I left but was more cautious now that I had returned. The blinds and curtains on all of the window were closed so I couldn’t simply look in and see if there was someone inside. However since the bodies had never been removed from the graveyard … at least not by human hands which meant they had been scattered about in a rather nasty but natural process … I was pretty sure no one was about. It would have been just too hard for most people to ignore the mess that was spread across the highway where the animals had done what animals tend to. But just to be on the safe side since Dad didn’t raise no fool I didn’t go barging into the house. After checking all around outside I slowly entered by way of the front door and then stopped to get my bearings and the “feel” of the interior.

It was quiet except for the frenetic skittering of a mouse or two in the walls. I’m not afraid of mice but the idea of having vermin in the house made me itch all over and only made me want to get out of there as soon as possible. And the house smelled dirty too, like how an old public bathroom will sometimes smell or dirty laundry that has been left lying about too long. There was also a sour undertone of unwashed bodies that caused me to pull my bandana down from my head and across my nose and mouth. I decided to make it as easy on myself as possible by starting at the top and then work my way down.

Being in the house was depressing. In each room I found evidence of the process of spiritual and emotional decay the people living there had gone through. What was once a nice, well-kept home was more like a dumping ground for their bad habits and personal problems. I’d already noticed it the first time I’d been in the house but this time it was really re-enforced. I know that Uncle Bentley had had problems but the way his “guests” had chosen to live had to have irritated the heck out of the fastidious man he had been. I closed the door to each room as I left it to try and control the odors but only helped so much. It wasn’t the secondary bedrooms that I was most serious about investigating anyway.

I moved into Uncle Bentley’s room on the ground floor and it surprised me with the same smell of ripe neglect, most of it emanating from a small pail in the corner of the room. Looking over inside I saw a pile of dirty bandages. Not wanting to, but knowing the man’s tendencies, I forced myself to go over to the pail then backed away long enough to find something to lift the pail with besides my hands. Sure enough under the plastic pail were a set of keys mixed in with a pile of broken glass. I recognized them right off as the old-fashioned ones for the heavy and bolted door down in the basement.

I was leaving the room when an old photo album caught my eye. It only took turning two of its pages before it became the first item I decided to take. I slid it into the bag on my shoulder and then I carefully made my way down to the basement area using a flashlight I had taken from the fussily organized nightstand drawer beside the bed. Not even the bandana across my face could prevent me from realizing something had clogged the exhaust for the generator. I was forced to air the room out and go outside to break the glass block that gave the only exterior light to the basement to speed the process up. By the time I got back in the house and propped open the basement door things smelled much less like a garage.

It was pretty easy, even for me, to figure out what had been Uncle Bentley’s “secret.” Radios. He must have confiscated them from those that had been brought in and secured by the greenies but run out of fuel to run the generator to power them. There were also maps showing resources all over the mountains – springs, trails, vacation cabins, ruins of old farms, caches that he’d buried over the years, mineral deposits, any number of things. When I forced the lock open on the filing cabinet I found a whole drawer of paper files on the greenies and Twelvers. I almost left that behind but figured that knowing my enemy was just as important as confronting them. There were also some reloading supplies that I couldn’t ignore. Some secret. The radios could come in handy as would the maps and other stuff, but it was nothing worth hiding it away behind a thick metal door, nothing worth dying for the way Uncle Bentley had made it seem.

The only thing I took from the yard were the stretched hides and furs I found in the work shed. I would be able to use some of them to patch Thor’s jacket and line it better for more warmth. I could have taken more from around the place but nothing that wouldn’t duplicate what we already had at the farm and on this trip I wanted to focus on filling holes, not on redundancies.

I really missed Thor’s company. It had been so long since I had spent any time truly alone that I kept glancing over my shoulder. If it wasn’t that it was going to tell him something only to realize he wasn’t there. In addition to Thor’s company I missed his back up and his experience. I’d spent months on the road and even time travelling by myself but not since Thor and I had pledged ourselves to one another. I knew what I was doing was necessary but it didn’t stop me from wishing he was with me.

I decided to hit the major businesses and offices in town before trying to go through private residences. The Cowboy General Store had very little; it had obviously really taken a beating during the rioting. I still managed to grab some office supplies, a box of those large, disposable aprons worn by the butcher in the meat department, and the first aid kit out of the office in the back. The Country Corner gas station had been damaged the same as the Cowboy but apparently no one thought to look behind the coolers and I grabbed several cases of various drinks.

Time was a wasting and I told myself to hurry up. Pizza Plus, The Creeper Trail Café, Subway, Fattie’s Diner, and the Whistle Pig Bistro all yielded up what had been passed over like more paper products and some food items that were too large or unusual to haul away like #10 sized cans of pizza sauce and large bags of flour. The flour that hadn’t been stored in coolers had been infested with weevils and mice or rat droppings but several of the restaurants did keep those types of things in more secure locations and it reminded me to also look for large, airtight containers so that I could do the same.

Damascus had several thriving Bed and Breakfasts and I was happy to salvage more sheets and towels, extra pillows, cleaning products, and more moderately sized shelf stable foods from the Montgomery Homestead, the Apple Tree, the Mountain Laurel Inn, Victoria Inn, and Dot’s Inn. The amount of toilet paper and Kleenex alone made it worth all of those stops but all of the itty bitty bars of soaps didn’t hurt either. The Victorian Inn Tea Parlor had been completely missed by the crowds despite the fact that they didn’t just serve tea but cookies and sandwiches as well. Oh sure, the plate glass windows had been busted but no one seemed to see pass the doilies and poofy chairs and antique pictures on the wall. I got a lot of stuff there.

Unlike Jen and her friends I wasn’t choosey when it came to my hair care products; I was just happy to have a chance to bathe regularly again much less with real soap and shampoo. I found some plastic storage tubs and just started emptying the personal hygiene products. I also did the same for Thor at the barber shop. Got some nice clippers as well hoping he’d let me do something with that mane he had developed. Not that I didn’t find it attractive but sometimes it just plain got in the way, like when I was trying to change his bandages. I hit the vet, the garden shop, the trail outfitters, and then the only dental and doctor offices in town. Each one yielded up several useful items. The dental office had been ransacked and all of their oxygen and gas tanks were gone but they hadn’t really been paying too much attention when they knocked over the supply cabinets. One hadn’t popped open on impact and lay nearly undisturbed until I turned it over; I was able to get several ampoules of painkillers and sterile needles, swabs, that junk they stick in your mouth to soak up the spit and that awful tasting topical painkiller that makes you feel like you got a partial tongue-ectomy when you try and talk afterwards.

A quick glance at my watch told me that it was lunch time and I knew I had to start back if I wanted to go by the orchard to get home. It was frustrating but I’d made a bargain with Thor and if I wanted to keep his trust I knew I couldn’t take that sort of thing lightly.

When I got to the orchard, in addition to several bushels of apples I hastily picked, I got a nice fat buck. I’d never seen deer so bold as the ones that were eating the remaining fruit on the branches that they could reach. They went so far as to stand on their hind legs like dogs who were begging. After that I made a dash for home. I was a full ten minutes early but still found Thor sitting on the porch chewing his nails.

I jumped down, ran over to him, and gave him a kiss before telling him, “I missed you and you’re going to love what climbed up in the wagon while I was gone.”

My playfulness was met with silence. He was quiet the rest of the afternoon, so quiet I thought his wound was bothering him. I was busy prepping the venison and hanging it in the butchering shed so that no animal could get it and then in emptying the wagon. It was dinner – fresh venison steak and fried apples – before I found out what was on his mind.

“Do you plan on going back tomorrow?” he asked too casually.

I answered cautiously, put on edge by his strange mood. “I’d like to if the weather permits.”

“Fine. But I’m coming with you.”

I put my fork down. “Thor …”

“No. You won’t talk me out of it this time. It nearly killed me to sit here all day wondering, praying. I know I’d make you do it and it’s unfair for me not to be willing to put up with the same thing but I don’t care. I know I’ll slow you down and be underfoot because I’ll tire more quickly than you. I don’t care. I know I’m not really going to be able to help load stuff. I don’t care about that either. I …”

I put my hand over his forestalling any more. “I get it. You care … and you missed me as much as I missed you. We’ll figure something out.”

Surprised, Thor asked, “No fighting me on this?”

“No, but you’ll have to compromise and be honest. If you get tired and start hurting you can’t go all he-man on me, I need to know. If you start running a fever we’re calling the whole thing off.”

After looking at me a moment he said, “Deal.”

It wasn’t as difficult the next day as either of us had worried about; just being together seemed to make things better. I did get frustrated in town however. The only place in town that I got anything fruitful out of was the quilt shop and there was no way I was getting everything from that place in one trip. I took the most important items like denim, muslin, needles, threads and some patterns but the rest I had to leave for another day.

The few offices I hit were either completely trashed or empty of anything obviously useful. They would have to wait to investigate when time wasn’t so short and precious and when we had exhausted the more obvious places to salvage from. Even though Thor wasn’t able to do much more than observe, he and I were on the same page and he actually made some good suggestions that helped out. When I became frustrated after bogging down in the town’s small business district he suggested that instead of working through the town which would have been more likely to have been searched first by the rioters and then by the greenies, that we go to the outlying houses. After giving it a quick thought I picked an easy route to the orchard and then home which would pass by the most houses and cabins.

Easier said than done but it was still better than what we had been doing in town. All of the houses showed signs of trouble … lack of power for a prolonged period, vermin infestation, neglect, violence … as well as a lack of food but I refused to leave any of the properties until I had found at least one useful thing. Not a single one showed signs of recent habitation. I got lots of quilts and blankets, empty canning jars and lids of all sizes, and some hand powered kitchen tools as well as pressure canners and water bath canners. Thor started a running list of any of the properties that had any amount of wood stacked and we decided to come back for those when it got cold enough again that snakes wouldn’t be a problem.

We did make a few discoveries that made all of the frustration worthwhile. In a few of the house we found that some families had been holding out. At one farm we found a smokehouse full of hams and shoulders as well as a lot of dry smoked sausages and curing supplies. I figured they had run short on feed and been forced to slaughter their animals rather than watch them starve to death. That same house had canning jars full of meat as well. They’d had a lot of jerky but it had gone over in the heat of summer without proper storage.

In some locations I found where livestock had busted out and gone feral. Pigs and hogs for the most part but I also managed to lasso two cows that were in the trees above the dairy. Neither one was in milk mode but if I could find a bull between now and spring we’d fix that problem easy enough. I also saw a lot of animal carcasses … or what remained of them. Some animals were better suited to surviving on their own than others.

“Thor?”

“Yeah Hon.”

“You feeling OK? The rifle butt hit anything tender?”

“No … well yeah; I guess you’ll twist my tail if I lie about it and send me to my room.” He was trying to joke his way out of what he thought was a bit of female fuss.

After tying the cows to the back of the wagon I walked over to the side of the wagon to look at and then check Thor’s bandages. “I’ll give you a pass this time. And thanks. I should have wondered why the cows were so balky.”

“Don’t be too easy on me. I only noticed because the horses were getting agitated. All I could think of when I saw them was you getting attacked again like last time. You sure you’re OK?”

I assured Thor that I was fine, that the dogs hadn’t come anywhere close to me or the cows despite their intent. Thor’s ambidextrousness was a real plus when it came to shooting from odd angles or, as in this case, when he had an injury. There were four large dogs and two smaller one in the hunting pack that tried to slink up on the cows. Obviously they had gotten used to easy meals and that did a lot to explain all of the bones that showed through the tall grass in the pasture.

I was hoping to get feed from the dairy as well but the rats had pretty much taken over the house and barn destroying what hadn’t already been used up. It was going to take a very cold and long winter to cut their numbers or a sudden upswing in the feral cat population. Neither one was a very good scenario for us humans stuck in the middle.

Thor was tiring and so was I and I still had the orchard to pick. I noticed gray clouds up on the ridge of Clark Mountain and knew that a change in weather was on the way.

“Hon?”

“Just one more stop. As soon as I’m done in the orchard we’ll head home,” I told him.

Thor gave a tired sigh. “Actually that isn’t what I meant. I want to stop by that … by Griffey’s place and take a look around.”

I hadn’t expected that. “I looked all over the place Thor. And it smells in there and is pretty nasty. I’m not sure it is a good idea for you to go in there with your shoulder like it is.” Then I said, “You think I missed something don’t you.”

“Not necessarily. Those radios were a good find and could be what he meant.”

But I said again, “But you don’t think so.”

“Are you going to get offended if I want to look for myself?”

I gave it an honest thought because I had been a little at first. “Naw. Besides the sooner that place can be permanently X’d out on our salvage map the sooner I can put that part of my life behind me.”

Thor didn’t like that part of my answer. “Hon, I’m the last personal qualified to give advice on family issues but …”

“There’s always a but.”

“Yeah there is,” he agreed with a slight smile. “Seriously though, burying that stuff before you deal with it could be a mistake.”

I thought about it a few moments before saying, “I think I have dealt with it. I’m not saying it doesn’t hurt if I pick at it but I’m not going to be permanently damaged by how things turned out. I still can love the memory of the man I knew as my uncle. I can even love the broken man he was at the end … with God’s help anyway … because we are supposed to love the sinner even while we hate the sin. Vengeance belongs to God. This time I was smart enough to turn it over to Him. I just want to avoid the temptation of picking that burden back up from the foot of the Cross.”

With a small shake of his head he told me, “You sound like Bedros.”

Smiling I said, “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Serious once again Thor asked, “You don’t see what I did as an act of revenge?”

“No,” I replied emphatically. “You were protecting me … from Uncle Bentley’s madness and from me having to be the one to put him out of the misery of it. He wouldn’t have stopped trying to seek his own vengeance until he was too physically frail to do it and even then he would have spilled a lot of verbal poison. Better for me – for both of us – to move on and be done with it rather than pretend I could have saved him somehow.”

He didn’t say any more about it and only a few minutes later we had arrived at our destination. I noticed the corpses had been disturbed even more but that could have been by any animal at this stage of their decay. I helped Thor down from the back of the wagon and after another cautious look around we entered the house. The smell was worse than before even though the interior was cold. I worried about Thor catching something but his determination prevented me from saying anything more about it.

“I doubt there is anything in any area his house guests would have used regularly. Is there an attic?” Thor asked.

I shook my head. “No. Uncle Bentley considered them a waste of space and only for sentimental people.”

“I take it he wasn’t one.”

I shrugged, “Not in the traditional sense. He’d go all dreamy about local history but nothing from his personal past. He was more sentimental about Dad’s family and he and Dad’s exploits together as kids than anything that happened to him before that. I showed you that photo album I found.”

He nodded, knowing I was talking about the album full of pictures of Dad and Uncle Bentley at all different ages as well as of beautiful and unusual places in the mountains around here, most of which I didn’t recognize by sight but from the detailed description painstakingly included with each one. “Then let’s start in his bedroom. If there’s nothing there then we’ll go down to the basement. Should hit both regardless.”

Beginning to feel intrigued I asked, “What do you expect to find?”

“Not sure. Don’t know that I expect to find anything. Just commonsense that two sets of eyes are better than one.” At my look he added, “OK, that could have come out better but you know what I mean.” I smiled letting him know I was joshing him just a little and we started the job in relative harmony.

Seen through Thor’s eyes I got a different feel for Uncle Bentley. “At some point recently he lost control or began to deconstruct his life. Look at how repressed this guy was most of the time. His casual clothes were just a variation of his ranger uniform – same colors, same styles, same materials. Two closets – one for his uniforms, one for non-work but you can barely tell the difference between them. And look how they are arranged, major OCD factor going on. Shoes as well. Check out these dresser drawers, the pictures on the wall, everything.”

I nodded, “Yeah, Mom would try and get him to change his ties if nothing else, add some color, but he never would. The only time was at his brother’s funeral and even as a little kid I noticed it because it was fire engine red with these big yellow dots all over. He was a clean freak too, but so was Aunt Bettie Sue. I couldn’t believe how bad the house was when I first saw it the day you were shot. I put it down to his amputation but you’re saying maybe not?”

“Absolutely that was part of it but I think it’s more than that. A guy that controlled … ah forget it. That psychobabble always drove me crazy.”

“Maybe, but it’s bringing stuff into focus for me.” I pushed the bed back against the wall. “Either way I still don’t see anything here except rabid dust bunnies.”

“I agree. Let’s go down to the basement.”

Thor was even more thorough than I was down there and came up with nothing … at least until he asked me to move the filing cabinet. There was a large hole in the wall behind it that turned out to be a tunnel. It was too small for Thor in his condition – he would have banged himself up all over again – and it wasn’t much better for me; the inside was as dark as the inside a black cat. I also had to watch where I put my feet to keep from tripping as there were wires run in conduit on the floor. The wires led from the house breaker box to a series of switches on the inside of what felt like a concrete block room.

“Thor, I’m coming out, I need a bigger light source!”

He asked, “What’s in there?”

“I don’t know. It … it kind of reminds me of our well house. You saw it. It’s buried but has this roof that you can open up to get to the equipment for maintenance purposes.”

“Yeah. What reminds you of that?”

“It’s a square room, concrete block floor and walls. Ceiling is poured concrete. I … I don’t know what it is.”

Thor laughed. “Hon, I think it is an old nuclear bunker, the kind people were building during the early days of the Cold War.”

“Like that scene in the movie Grease 2?”

He gave me a look that said he hadn’t a clue to what I was talking about. “Whatever,” I said, rolling my eyes. “But it doesn’t have beds or anything like that in it, it’s just a square. There are some boxes in there, but they’re funny.”

“Funny how?” he asked cautiously.

“Skinny drawers. Lots of skinny drawers about so wide and an inch or three deep,” I told him, using my hands to describe what I was seeing before I headed back in with a flashlight so big it looked like a spot light.

He called after me, “Be careful what you are opening.”

It was a few minutes but before Thor could lose patience and ask me what I was seeing I said, “This is just plain messed up Dude.”

“Hon? Rochelle?! Do I need to …”

“Hang on.” I came out with a couple of the drawers. “Will you look at this stuff?! Every few drawers it is something different. But you aren’t going to believe what I’m bringing out next.”

When I came back out again bringing the big box I found Thor staring at the drawers. “Griffey was … er … quite the collector.”

“Yeah, I bet he found most of that stuff up in the mountains. But check this out.”

Thor left off looking at glass covered specimen trays that had human and animal teeth, arrow heads, old bullet casings, and other pieces of evidence of human habitation in the mountains from who knows how long ago when I lifted a heavy metal box up onto the desk.

“It wasn’t even locked. If the other stuff came from the mountains I have no clue where this came from.”

When Thor finally got a look inside he whistled, “Whoa nelly. Hon, did you …”

“Have any idea that Uncle Bentley was rich as Midas? No. No way. He sure didn’t live like he was. He was more of a penny pincher than Mom was and that’s saying something.”

Thor picked up the tubes of coins and said, “These are old.” That was followed by a, “Geez, some of these are real old. They … you know, I wouldn’t swear to it but some of these look like French and Spanish gold coins … doubloons and … heck these look like Louis and Napoleons.”

Something niggled at my memory and then slipped away as the sound of rumbling reached my ears. “Thor, we need to get. Hopefully that stuff will stay up in the mountains long enough for us to load up, go by the orchard, and get home and unload but better not to be foolish about it.”

I needn’t have bothered saying anything. Thor was already standing and trying to carry the box of coins up the stairs. I told him, “Let me have that. I’ve got one more load and this one is as crazy as this other. I don’t know if it is colored glass or real cut stones. And some really old, ugly jewelry too.”

We got everything to the wagon and then Thor climbed up in the wagon seat beside me instead of sitting in the wagon bed. “Don’t blame me if you get bounced around worse up here than back there.”

“I won’t,” he smiled, more than a little tired. “I’m just done with looking where we’ve been instead of where we’re going.”

The orchard wasn’t much further off and instead of going back to the road after I’d filled every bushel basket that I had brought I cut across and took a short cut since I didn’t have to be polite to other landowners. The first big, fat drops decided to come down as I was shutting the gate.

“Crud, crud, and double crud,” I grumbled under my breath. When I got back in the seat, “I’ll take care of the horses if you’ll go inside and get the fire going and put something warm on to drink.”

“We’ll do it together. If you are going to get wet …”

I interrupted, “Who said anything about getting wet?”

“What are you going to do? Run between the rain drops?”

I smiled knowing I had a secret. “Nope. There’s a tunnel between the barn and the storage shed and then from the storage shed there is a tunnel to the house. Dad and I spent two blasted summers digging those things and then another installing steel braces and beams that he bartered off of a construction project that fell through. I’m going to get some enjoyment out of them since I put the work into them.”

Giving me a disgruntled but resigned look he said, “And tomorrow you are going to show me these tunnels. Any more secrets you’ve been holding back on?”

“I haven’t been holding anything back … just have had you on my mind more than other stuff. Now that you are feeling better you can see anything you want to,” I told him not being very careful with my words.

“Anything huh?”

When I turned to see the look on his face I could tell he was waiting for me to jump to the bait but I decided to turn the tables on him and said, “Sure. Why not? We are married after all.”

I shut the barn door in his face leaving him spluttering for air and then laughed, feeling tired but happy in spite of all of the hard ships we had face to get here and those we were likely to face in the future.
 

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 71A

After Thor got a glimpse of the tunnels he decided he didn’t want to wait to check them out. Unlike the rough cut one that Uncle Bentley had under his place, Dad and I did a much better job on ours.

“I am just not believing what I’m seeing,” Thor said shaking his head. “And your father didn’t have an engineering degree or anything like that?”

I smiled and told him, “My dad was pretty cool if I do say so myself but he never had a chance to get any kind of formal education beyond highschool. Everything he did after that was self taught or by seeking people out to learn from. These tunnels are based on coal mine tunnels and …”

Thor interrupted me with a concerned, “Did Griffey know about these?”

“Uncle Bentley? Yeah, of course. Actually he is the one that talked Dad into getting an engineer to give him some ideas on how to make the tunnels safer. I know it is hard to believe after the way he was acting but when it came to Dad, Uncle Bentley was very protective. Dad would get embarrassed by it sometimes; I heard him and Mom talk about it a few times when I wasn’t supposed to be up and listening.” I shrugged. That wasn’t the only time I was up and listening when I wasn’t supposed to be but I could be a real stinker when I was little. I probably hadn’t changed as much as I wanted to believe.

Thor asked, “Did you trowel on this concrete to line the tunnels?”

“No. Actually that is shotcrete with some fiberglass threads that make it extra strong and some kind of chemical that made it adhere to the tunnel surface as well. That’s four to six inches of concrete you are looking at. What a job that was.” I stretched and popped my neck at the memory of those summers.

Thor was running his hands along the walls of the tunnel. “I know this is concrete but why did he choose to do it like this? It looks more like natural rock.”

We left the tunnel and sat down on the sofa in front of the basement fireplace that was merrily glowing and warm. Thor handed me a cup of hot, spiced cider and it was exactly what I needed to warm me up while giving me a little sweetening to get the rest of the day’s work finished. I enjoyed my first sip and then explained.

“Originally Dad had wanted to have a kind of narrow gauge track down there so that we could push carts along in front of us or in my case kind of like a pull behind. In the end he decided that it was just too cost prohibitive to get all the materials we would have needed to do that. Instead Dad decided to make the tunnel wide enough that we could push a wheelbarrow or pull a four wheeled garden cart. Uncle Bentley was on him about the possibility of a tunnel collapse so Dad went to see this engineer that Uncle B had recommended. Well Uncle B was a little disappointed that the engineer wasn’t more concerned after he’d seen what we were digging through but he did recommend a couple of places that could use some framing.” I took another sip and then propped my feet up in Thor’s lap to share the fleece throw. “Dad was on the Volunteer Fire Department and through that had met some men that were going to build a new hotel outside of town. But the project never got off the ground and the city was going to fine the company big bucks for just walking away from the site without cleaning it up. Dad bartered for some of those materials, rather than cash and he wound up with enough steel framing and concrete to do the tunnels and there is a pile of stuff left in the storage barn because he wanted to put in another tunnel between the house and the cabin. That never happened because we ran into a huge block of granite that the house’s foundation sits on. We never got around to anything else.”

“Anything else that I should know about?” Thor asked a little sarcastically.

“There’s a couple of hidden staircases in the house and two hidden rooms fitted with something Mom used to call ‘priest holes.’ I’ll show those to you tomorrow … or tonight if you can’t wait. I’ve got to get up and get dinner cooked.”

“Relax. I put on a pot of your mother’s vegetable soup and we can eat the cornbread that was left over from lunch,” he told me massaging my calves with his good hand.

“Are … ooo, yeah, right there … are you sure? I can … ahhhh, errrrrr Lordy don’t that feel good.”

Thor chuckled, “Soup’s fine. We can bake a couple of those apples like you used to when we were out on the trail.”

I didn’t answer as I was too busy enjoying myself. Then remembering everything I hadn’t done yet I said, “OK, enough of being spoiled. I need to put the food away in the … well, here’s another thing while I’m thinking of it. When we ran into that block of granite Dad wouldn’t let Mom tell him ‘I told you so’ by going to the work of filling it back in and we widened the tunnel and turned it into a down stairs storage area. Mom keeps … kept some of her extra craft stuff in there but I’ll clean it out and we can store all the extra bulk items in there and get them out of the way.”

“Want a suggestion?” Thor asked.

“Of course.”

“Put the paper goods upstairs under the beds or in the unused closets and put all the extra food items in that storage room.”

I wasn’t against the idea, I just wanted to know why.

Explaining Thor told me, “Because while we haven’t seen any people lately that could change. We don’t know if people will try and head back to the cities or try and leave them. The winter could send people in both directions looking for food or shelter. Maybe someone will try and use the AT or Creeper Trail; you told me both come close to the farm. The majority of people rarely act logically so we really have no idea what is going to happen this winter or in the spring … or if we should be worrying about international interests infringing on US territory.”

“OK, maybe any or all of those, but like I said we’ve never had trouble with people invading the farm.”

He gave a one sided shrug and said, “There’s a first for everything. Griffey and your Mr. Dink can’t have been the only locals that knew where the farm was.”

I thought about that. “No, obviously not but a lot of the ones that it was common knowledge to have been passing on since I was in middle school … most of them were friends of my grandmothers … and it really was a small handful that could do it unescorted.”

Thor nodded. “Good enough but …”

“… better safe than sorry,” I finished with a grin. “If we absolutely had to we could drop one of the bridges. It wouldn’t stop someone really determined to come in on foot but it would stop vehicle traffic from that angle and I doubt we’d get any from further up the mountain.”

I could see him store that away for future thinking and we headed to the kitchen to eat and then to get back to work. I put stuff on the shelves Dad had installed and Thor added it to an inventory we had started.

We went on that way for another couple of days … leaving in the heavy morning mist that was nearly as wet as rain and coming back in the afternoon with the wagon full. The third morning I was having a hard time getting going. I’d chased a steer around for nearly forty minutes before he was winded enough to let me catch him. After I tied him to the back of the wagon for us to take home and add to the two cows we had he gave an odd little hop when he tried one last time to take off. As a result the beastie stepped on my foot. I’d managed to jerk it away before his full weight came down but I still had a pretty good bruise that didn’t help my mood any.

I was tying my largest sized boots on to avoid as much pressure on the bruise as possible. Once I managed to do that I went out to go get Thor from the tractor barn where he’d been putting away some tools. As soon as I got near the bar I realized he hadn’t been organizing but tinkering.

I hop-skipped to the barn and asked in a loud voice, “Are we having fun?!”

Thor gave me a big stinker of a grin and hollered back, “Yes we are. What say we give the horses a break and use this and that wagon to bring in the wood from those houses?”

“If your shoulder feels good enough to drive why don’t we take the tractor and one of the horses just in case?” It was agreed on; Thor would drive and I would ride.

The tractor, an old red Farmall that was practically a family heirloom, was easy to maintain and Dad always kept parts on hand. But I knew that I’d need to add that stuff to my list of things to salvage. There were some other old Farmalls in the area and discussing it with Thor he added it to his list of secondary salvage operation locations.

From the stove I said, “I might … repeat might … have a suggestion as far as fueling the tractors around here. But that is a big might and will depend on your mechanical know-how.”

He raised an eyebrow as he shoveled his third fried egg into his mouth. I told him, “I helped Dad but didn’t really take enough interest in all of the mechanical stuff myself. I’d do what he told me to do without really thinking about it. I can change the oil, lube the gizmos, check and adjust the fluids … that sort of stuff … but if it comes down to knowing the guts of the thing well enough to do something about it if it breaks, not so much.”

Wiping some yolk from his mustache he said, “Tell me what you are thinking and I’ll tell you if I can manage it.”

“Well, our family used to grow a lot of corn commercially. It was one of our cash crops. This is back before ethanol and all of that garbage so you are talking my grandfather’s day. Anyway for a couple of years the bottom fell out of the market and the farms around here were really hurting. They were losing money on every bushel and were leaving it to rot in the field because at the same time the cost of fuel was increasing. My grandfather and a couple of his brothers …” I had to stop and laugh. “Let’s just say they had a naughty streak in them and the old stills were hidden where no one could find them. They fixed a couple of the tractors to run on moonshine for fuel. What I’m thinking is that the animal feed around here that is contaminated with too much vermin feces to use for the animals could be used to make moonshine out of for fuel in the spring or early summer; that’s probably when we’ll run out of regular diesel if we use much of it to prep the fields.”

A slow grin spread across his face. “Now I just might be able to manage that … but I’ll start with a tractor from another farm if I can find one that I can get running. Rats have been at some of the hoses that I’ve seen.”

“Make it one with a PTO and we’ll hook it up to the log splitter so we can split some of those logs I’ll be tossing today.”

That wiped the grin from his face. “I don’t like …”

It took me barely a second to interrupt him since we’d been over it before. “I know you don’t like it. But it isn’t your fault that Uncle Bentley shot you. You’re healing a lot faster than I thought you would but you can’t rush things. If you start tossing wood up in the wagon you could tear something back open. If you do that you are looking at another chance at real infection and even some permanent injury.”

He rolled his eyes, “Yes mother.”

For some reason that gave me a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach. I decided to poke the bear a little and said, “Besides, after last night …”

He nearly strangled on his coffee then barked a laugh. “I swear woman you are something else. I told you already. I promised you a fun day and we’ll wait. I want you to enjoy yourself. Right now I’m not in the best shape to do right by you.”

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes, “Then stop testing my patience by wanting to do something that will just make you take longer to heal.” I was referring to him tossing wood and not to the other. Truth be told it was a lot of fun anticipating and playing at being impatient. It could get frustrating for sure, but it was still fun at the same time. Thor had brought the kind of light hearted laughter into my life I’d never really had before. Before I always felt I had something to prove, that life was so serious. With Thor I could laugh at myself without hurting my own feelings. And he seemed to take a great deal of pride in making me smile and laugh when it was the last thing on my mind.

After we finished eating and the few dishes had been cleaned up we locked up and left for the day’s work. I rode which was a nice change and I could tell by the big boy grin on his face that Thor was having a lot of fun with the tractor. I expect it made him feel more in control. I know I always preferred to drive than to be a passenger.

That day was so successful that I completely forgot about Mr. Dink’s prediction of snow arriving early. We went to bed that night exhausted but in a good way knowing we’d managed to bring in three wagonloads of logs that were neatly stacked and waiting to be split. In the middle of the night I woke up and at first couldn’t figure out what had caused it. Then I realized how cold my nose was.

“Oh crud.”

“What?” Thor muttered still deciding whether he was going to wake up with me.

“It’s cold.”

“Yeah, so scoot here under the covers and I’ll warm you up.”

Rolling my eyes even though he couldn’t see it I said, “We’re inside and the fire is banked; it shouldn’t be this cold.”

That woke Thor up. “And?”

“I’ve got to go check on the animals. I suspect we’ve already got snow on the ground … no, listen to that.”

After listening he asked, “Rain?”

“Sleet. Well that tears it. With ice on the ground we won’t be going anywhere today.”

He groaned, “I’ll help with the animals.”

“Why? No sense in us both losing sleep. Just keep the bed warm. Next time you can do it.”

“Hon …”

I kissed him and finished pulling on my coveralls. “Seriously Thor, there’s no sense in it. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“You’ll take the tunnels?”

“Yeah.”

Our barn was a nice and snug one but that didn’t mean it was incapable of getting cold. The rooster had already shooed the hens into the makeshift coop I had created for them out of hay bales and I’d already put blankets on the horses before bed. The cows and steer in their separate stalls looked at me like I was crazy for waking them up. I thought, “Oh well. It isn’t like I expected gratitude.” However when I was about to go back down into the tunnel I got the fright … and then delight … of my life. Both Barney and Boots were twining between my legs like it hadn’t been months since we had seen each other.

“Well where have you two been?!” I cried. They were both Toms but Boots was one of the weird male cats that never seems to develop a taste for … well for being a Tom if you catch my drift. He was Barney’s shadow in everything but the ladies; he didn’t even spray to mark territory. I couldn’t smell Barney either which meant they couldn’t have been back all that long. Both Toms looked sleek and healthy which really made me wonder where they could have been and what they could have been into. “Well, heck yes you can stay in the barn if you want. You know how to go in and out. But if I catch you after the feather dusters I’ll bob your tails. Got it?” They seemed to understand quite well and scampered off to a corner I knew to be their favorite.

I scampered faster than they did and got back in the house and then upstairs. “Hey! What are you doing out of bed?” I asked Thor.

“Waiting for you,” he muttered sitting in front of the fire that he had obviously stoked.

“Wouldn’t you have been warmer waiting in bed … keeping the covers warm?” I was feeling good and joking though I was ready to climb back in bed. Thor on the other hand … was not.

“Fine,” he muttered stomping towards the bed.

I wasn’t paying close enough attention. Looking back I can definitely see it but at the time all I thought was that I would ignore his mulligrubs and just get him in a good snuggling mood simply because that is how I felt.

Nope. It was like he was ignoring me which kind of hurt my feelings. It took a little back and forth sniping before I finally asked, “OK, what’s the problem? What did I do now?” Only I didn’t just say it nicely. Actually I was pretty much pouting because he’d spoiled the mood.

“Is everything always about you? Are you going to stay a bratty kid forever?”

Ouch. I know I’d been bouncing on the bed and trying to tickle him. I know that wasn’t exactly dignified. But we’d done it before and it hadn’t bothered him. And for him to be quite so nasty … well it hurt. It just drained all the play right out of me.

“Sorry,” I muttered and rolled over. I’d be lying if I tried to make out that I didn’t have some tears fall. But on the other hand there was no way I was going to let him know after what he’d just said. It didn’t seem long before he was snoring but I was too upset to sleep. I got up and carefully snuck over to my old bedroom and grabbed my wind up lamp and took it down to the kitchen table.

I tried to settle to working on my notes but I couldn’t. My feelings and my heart were just hurting too much. I couldn’t figure out what I had done wrong to make Thor snap at me like that. I knew he’d been tired when we went to bed. I thought maybe his shoulder was hurting him again but I didn’t think that could have made him act like that.

I grew tired worrying it to pieces and started wandering around the house, letting my old memories act as a salve for my newest ones. Then I saw it, the big book that held a lot of my family’s history. Part photo album, part scrapbook, part journal I remembered my grandmothers telling me story after story from the depths of it and showing me pictures of the people in the stories. I sat in the chair my mom had enjoyed sitting in while Dad worked on the accounts and it didn’t take me long to work my way backwards from the clippings that Mom had added of my “football glory.”

Looking at those clippings I prayed that wasn’t going to be the sum total of my life because as important as it had seemed at the time, it now felt like I’d wasted a good chunk of what life I had thus far lived and lost forever the opportunity to have learned more from my parents. Football had helped to develop my body, and it had given me a certain amount of confidence that I had been lacking, but I still wish I had paid more attention to my grandmothers and parents and the things they had known. I was stuck trying to play catch up and if Thor had grown unsatisfied with life on the farm (or with me) I might be learning it all alone.

I shivered at that thought and quickly sought out other parts of my family story to eclipse those feelings. Every page was a few years further back in time. I had been at it around an hour or so when I remembered what I had forgotten. I wanted to run upstairs to Thor and tell him what I had found but I was afraid. At some point I fell asleep in the chair.

A pop from the wood stove startled me awake. Only problem with that was that I hadn’t lit a fire in the stove but had just covered up with my Snuggie and a quilt. Bleary eyed I sat up to find that the book was gone from my lap and I was covered with another quilt. “Crud! The animals,” I thought.

After a stop in the bathroom I stumbled into the kitchen to put my coat and boots on to find Thor at the stove. I knew he must’ve been the one to cover me up but my brain kept shying away from thinking about anything but the most immediate priorities. I muttered, “Sorry. Late. Animals.”

“Sit down. The animals are all fine. I took care of them already.” I stood there for a moment and
Thor asked tensely, “You want to check them?”

“Huh? Sorry, brain is slow this morning. You said you took care of the animals?”

Turning from the stove Thor saw me standing there with my winter coveralls still only on one leg and a confused look on my face. I saw him get a concerned look on his face before walking over and telling me to sit down again. Nothing seemed to be working right and he gave a little push before I actually bent enough to sit on the bench where we kept our outer gear. “Rochelle?”

“Huh?” I felt like I was still three-quarters asleep and couldn’t wake up.

“I couldn’t find you when I woke up.”

“Mm.”

Shaking his head he sat beside me and pulled my coveralls back off and when he reached up and hung them on the hook he asked, “Where do you think you’re going anyway? You’re still in your nightgown. And why did you sleep downstairs?”

“Uh,” was about all I could say as my brain was still missing the firing pen. “I guess I fell asleep reading.”

He shook his head, “I think you’re still half asleep. Want some tea?”

“No thank you.”

“Breakfast?”

“Not hungry. Excuse me; I need to go clean up the mess I made last night.”

I stumbled out of the kitchen and went to go pick up the covers I’d used to put them away. I heard Thor take something off the stove and then follow me. I picked up the quilts and had to fight the urge to climb back under them.

He came up behind me and said, “You’re really tired. Why don’t you go back to bed?”

“Don’t want to,” I lied.

“Why not? You said yourself there’s no way we are getting out in this stuff to bring in more wood? I slipped and slid just going to bring in wood from the pile just off the porch.”

Startled I said, “Oh no! Did you fall? Did you hurt your shoulder?” I spun at the same time only my head forgot to bring my brain with it and I stumbled straight into Thor and would have fallen if he hadn’t grabbed with me with his good arm.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked concerned.

“I don’t know. Nothin’. I’m going to go get dressed.”

That definitely got a reaction from him. “Oh no you’re not. You are going back to bed.”

“No I’m not. I’m not a child to be ordered around like this no matter what you say.” I shut up as soon as it came out of my mouth. I did not want to start last night back up. Too late.

“Yeah, about that.”

“Forget it Thor. I’m not sure what I did to set you off but I’m sorry you don’t like living here … or maybe it’s with me. I don’t know. I’ve been trying. I just don’t know how to do this now that we don’t have the road to occupy us all the time.” I wrenched away from him and went upstairs to get dressed so I could work and forget about the loneliness I thought was heading my way.

The thing is the one advantage I have over other people I don’t have over Thor. His stride is even longer than mine and where I normally took two stairs at a time with no problem, he took three and caught up with me easily. “Nope. You’re going back to bed.”

“I told you …”

“Yep. You did. But you are getting in that bed and I’m going to bring you some breakfast and you are going to eat. And then I’m declaring a holiday … a snow day or whatever the heck you want to call it.”

“Snow days are for kids …”

And he looked down at my pale face and said, “Just get in the bed Rochelle. We’ll talk about it after you get some protein in your system.”

I was too tired and miserable to fight so I just crawled in bed, waiting for the guillotine. I must have dozed off because it seemed like only a second before Thor was easing into the bed beside me. I jumped and asked, “Huh?”

He chuckled and said, “Easy unless you want to spill our breakfast. I’m still one armed. Sit up and help me eat this.”

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 71B

Trying to shake the sleep out of my brain and deal with feeling guilty I told him, “You didn’t have to do this. I should have. I can’t believe you had to cook.”

“I cooked on the trail,” he reminded me.

“That’s not the same. Here you’re the guy and I’m supposed to cook for you. The fact you had to means I wasn’t doing my job.” The very idea rolled my stomach.

“You’ve got definite ideas of how things are supposed to work don’t you.” It was a statement and not a question but I still shrugged. “Look, you’re going to stay in bed, eat your breakfast and accept my apology for being a jack@#$ last night.”

I froze and then looked at him from the corner of my eye unsure what was going on. He sighed. “Lord I forget how young you really are. Look at me Rochelle. All the way, not from under your eye lashes.” He pulled me back against the pillows and headboard which made me have to turn my neck far to the side at an awkward angle.

Before he could say anything I told him, “I’m sorry Thor. I really don’t know what I did to set you off. I … I don’t know how to make you want to stay. I know that … I know that you are used to globetrotting around the world and doing all this exciting stuff. I know that this is hard for you. And if … if you can just let us get through … through the winter here I’ll … I’ll go wherever it is you want to go. Please.”

He looked at me funny and said, “You’d really do it too wouldn’t you. Even though this is the only home you’ve ever known. Even though you know that this is a place we could do well in.”

I didn’t know what he meant so I just took it at face value and shrugged.

He leaned his head back and I was tired of developing a crick in my neck so I started looking at the fire in the fireplace. “Rochelle, this isn’t easy for me. It is taking some time to get used to. I’ll admit that it is harder than I expected it to be. I don’t like not being in control. I don’t like being wounded or sick. Having to be both of those things … shot and not in control … and learning to stay in one spot for very long is trying my patience sorely.” I hunched my shoulders hating that I was hearing what I already knew, on the other hand I didn’t expect what he said next. “But none of that is your fault. You can’t fix it for me. I have to learn to do it for myself. Now help me eat this before it gets cold.”

“This” was a mess of food; diced ham, chopped onion, sliced potatoes, and scrambled eggs all fried and mixed together with skillet biscuits on the side. Struggled to eat a couple of bites but couldn’t force anymore down.

“Don’t like my cooking all of a sudden?”

I didn’t know how to take that so I said, “It’s not your fault, I just don’t have much of an appetite.”

“I’d say it probably is my fault and that you haven’t accepted my apology yet,” he told me poking another bite of food in my mouth even as I protested.

“Thor, you don’t need to feed me like I’m helpless. And it isn’t your fault that you feel the way you do.”

“I’m feeding you because you aren’t eating and if I’m not responsible for my feelings than who is? You? Don’t think so Hon. Anymore than I’m responsible because you automatically assumed that just because I acted like a donkey’s backside that it was you I was unhappy with. ‘Cause it isn’t. I just didn’t like feeling useless last night. I didn’t like it one bit, but that didn’t mean I should have taken it out on you. Something tells me I messed up a prime opportunity for a little fun.”

I blushed despite the length of time we’d been together and he swooped down and said right in my ear, “Think you might let me make it up to you?” sending shivers in ever which direction.

“Stop. You don’t have anything you have to …”

“But I want to.”

“Well I’m not a child you need to pacify. I was acting undignified last night and should have left you alone when I first realized you weren’t in the mood.”

“Uh oh,” he said, shaking his head. “We aren’t going that direction. Now I want you to listen to me and not just sort of hear what I’m saying.” He stopped and sighed again. “Hon, I’m a guy.”

What he said and the way he said it made me looked him and say, “I kinda know that.”

He chuckled, “Yeah, but maybe you don’t know what that means in particular. It means that having my woman take care of me like I’m some geriatric case after a sweet young thang doesn’t do anything good for my pride.”

“Geri … huh? Thor, you were shot! You could have died! It was awful. You don’t really think I’m so cold hearted that I’d snap my fingers and expect you to start bowing and scraping and working your buns off before you even managed to get your arm out of a sling do you? Just how selfish do you think I am?!”

He moved the tray we were sharing off to the nightstand, put his good arm around me and pulled me back again. “Now see, that’s the difference between us. You think that I have the right to lollygag around and heal whenever I see fit while you do all the work. I know I have the responsibility to help out around here more than I have been.” My mouth must have been hanging open because he put his finger under my chin and closed it and then kissed me.

“We’ll work it out Hon. But … no more going off in the middle of the night where I can’t find you. That … upset me.” He said it in a mild voice but I could hear underneath that it really had upset him badly.

“I just fell asleep.”

“You should have woke me up if you were that upset.”

I shook my head. “You were so tired you were snoring. I thought maybe your shoulder was hurting too.”

“What was hurting was my pride.”

I still didn’t understand. “But we’ve always shared chores before. Even back to the beginning. You know I’m not made of glass. I didn’t even have to go out in the wet stuff because of the tunnel.”

“Let’s put it this way, sharing chores as you call it is something we agreed upon when we could both do them … we just were splitting the work to make it easier on each other. Here and now … I don’t like my bride having to do something just because I can’t. It’s not sharing anymore at that point; it’s you doing all of the work.”

He was such a guy. “Thor when I was sick and all or if I got hurt wouldn’t you do for me?” I knew he was seeing what I was saying when he got this mulish look on his face. “It’s the same thing. When your arm doesn’t need the sling or a bandage you’ll be back to working like a dog, same as always. I just don’t get … Thor I’m not some girly girl. I mean I try some for your sake but to be honest I’m just part mule. I like working. I always have.”

“Rochelle, I’ve told you about talking about yourself like that.”

I rolled my eyes. “For your information I happen to like mules. I like them better than horses. They aren’t near so particular and I think they’re smarter too. The idea of owning some fancy thoroughbred has never interested me but I sure did want an Appaloosa Mule like my grandfathers used to raise.”

“Don’t. You know what I mean.”

“I do … I just don’t think being compared to certain characteristics a mule is derogatory.”

“Well I do … so don’t do it anymore.”

I sighed and muttered in a disgruntled voice, “You sure are particular. The way you have us going I’m going to be completely useless by next winter except maybe as a cook and laundress.”

“Nope, I won’t let you go that far but you are going to have to back off and let me be the man of the house.” He said it playfully but looking in his eyes I realized he really meant what he was saying.

Refusing to let him play away something that serious I told him, “You are the man of the house. You’re the boss aren’t you?”

Realizing I wasn’t going to let him let it go he said, “Being man of the house is about more than being the boss. My grandfather was ‘the boss’ and my grandmother and mother tippy toed around his every whim but I knew even as a kid that wasn’t what the head of the house was supposed to be about. I don’t want to boss you around although I expect I’ll do that sometimes. What I want is to be who you turn to when you need something, who you trust to make decisions, who you respect above all others. I want you to know I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you protected, that I’ll do whatever it takes to keep the wolves away from the door.”

“Thor, if I didn’t already feel that way I would never be with you in the first place. I learned to trust you before we got together. I couldn’t be with you if I didn’t trust you like that. I’m always yammering away at you asking you questions, getting your opinion, taking your suggestions. What more am I supposed to do? Let you work yourself into really being ill while I sit on some little poof cushion like I’m all helpless and junk?”

He tried not to laugh at the picture my last words had made; I could see it in his face but it came out anyway. “No. No I don’t think I could ask that of you.” He put his chin on the top of my head and squeezed me with another hug. “Just … just let me be a guy. I could have tried to take care of the animals last night, it wouldn’t have killed me. And if I couldn’t then I would have had to man up and come back and get you for some help.”

Not really seeing the sense in that all I could do was answer, “I guess.”

“And if I say something to hurt your feelings you need to say something, not just crawl off upset.”

Mildly affronted I said, “I did not crawl off.”

“Then why did I wake up to find you gone? I got worried. You didn’t even answer when I called. If the door hadn’t been opened I wouldn’t have even thought to look in the room where you fell asleep.”

“I told you I was reading and must have just fallen asleep is all.”

“Uh huh. Next time you feel like ‘reading’ how about a good pillow fight. Bet that’ll tire you out better.”

I rolled my eyes thinking that while he might have lots more experience with the opposite sex than I did he obviously still didn’t have it all figured out either. On the other hand I was grateful that the … well whatever it was … was over with and I promised myself that I’d be a little more sensitive to his man-pride. I also wished I had thought to ask my mother about things like that. Dad and Thor shared a lot of personality traits and I expect the man-pride issue was one of them. Mom had known how to manage Dad and I wished she was still around to give me pointers on how she did it. It seemed like it was a lot more complicated to handle a man than guys made it out to handle girls.

We finished our breakfast despite the fact that it had gotten cold. While he took the tray back to the kitchen I got up to add another piece of wood to the fire. I stood up and turned around to find him leaning against the doorframe with a particular look on his face.

“What?” I asked.

“Nuthin’”

I snorted and then went to grab some clean clothes. “Hey! What are you doing?”

“Getting dressed.”

“Uh uh. I declared a snow day remember? No work.”

“Fine. No heavy work but I can’t just lie around in bed all day.”

“Why not?” he asked with a quirk of his eyebrow.

“Because. It isn’t seemly. I’m not sick or anything. As it is you’ve already brought me breakfast in bed. I feel like a lazy pig.”

“OK, how about keeping me company then.”

Well, I reckon anyone with sense can figure out that one thing led to another and before long I could have cared less about anything that wasn’t going on outside of that room.

Afterwards we both went to sleep. I woke up when Thor’s stomach rumbled right in my ear.

I smiled and he said, “Oops.”

The way he said it made me going from smiling to giggling. I was a little embarrassed but Thor, he looked like he’d run into the side of a building. It worried me and I asked, “Um … was … I mean …”

Thor looked at me and said in a really strange voice, “My brain is mush. It’s leaking out of my ears.”

“Uh … is that a good thing or bad? I mean, was it like, you know, worth the wait?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

I felt myself go red from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. “I sorta, well, thought that was obvious.”

A satisfied male sigh came before he said, “Yes Hon, it was worth it. If it had any more worth it I’d have gone to meet the Maker.”

“Oh. So when you look like someone had beaned you with a two-by-four between the eyes that’s a good thing.”

He didn’t answer with words. Sometime later we were talking about nonsense and about other stuff barely more important when somehow we got to calling each other silly names. Each took turns being ever more outrageous when he suddenly got serious and called me something to do with treasure but that’s all I heard before a bottle rocket went off in my head.

“Oh! Oh! I remember!!” I said scrambling off the bed, dragging all the covers with me.

I was dashing down the staircase, trying not to fall and break my neck before Thor managed to bellow, “Hey! Where do you think you’re going?!”

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 72

“Woman! You took all the covers! It’s cold!!”

My laughter must have carried up the stairs because Thor said, “When I catch you Woman, you’re not going to be laughing!”

“Hold onto your pants, I’ll be right back!” I yelled.

A sqwauk of indignation preceded, “I would if I had any on!”

I laughed again but decided not to try his patience, grabbed what I had run downstairs for, and then ran back up before jumping on the bed, trapping us both in the mess of covers and laughing my head off.

“Ro-chelle …” came a warning growl.

“Oh keep your shirt on … I mean …” I fell into another fit of laughing.

Thor sighed and shook his head. “And just what – besides me – had put you in such a good mood?”

I flopped around and finally got the covers back over both of us and reasonably straight. “Guess what?” I asked.

“I’m not sure I even want to know at this point if it is going to make you go as crazy as a doodle bug,” he said with a smile.

“Spoil sport. Seriously, guess what I found?”

Just to egg me on he said with an innocent look, “It … um … looks like a book.”

“Oh never mind, you’ll never guess,” I said suddenly wanting to bolt forward and bring him in on what I had found. “You remember that stuff we found at Uncle Bentley’s? The old jewelry I thought was just costume stuff, the coins, and the maps?”

I’d caught his attention. “Yeah,” he answered cautiously.

“I don’t know … can’t remember if I mentioned it or not … but supposedly there was supposed to be some connection between Uncle Bentley’s family and the Charbonneau clan.”

“Yeah, you’ve mentioned it a time or two; said the Griffey’s and your family were related but you couldn’t remember how.”

I bounced around a little and then stopped realizing that the bed wasn’t meant for someone my size to be bouncing around on it when the headboard smacked the wall hard enough to ricochet back at Thor’s head. While he rubbed his head and readjusted the pillows I said, “Well, it wasn’t the Griffey’s but his maternal side and it wasn’t that we were kin … blood or by marriage.” I just sat there looking at him, waiting.

Thor rolled his eyes and said, “OK, I’ll bite. How was your family and Griffey connected?”

“Well, back generations upon generations … back before the War Between the States …”

“The Civil War?” he interrupted.

I told him firmly, “Back before the War Between the States.”

Thor rolled his eyes again but smiled so I continued. “Back before then there was a man down in the Gulf named Roger Charbonneau …”

“Say it again,” Thor told me.

“That name, say it again.”

“Roger Charbonneau? What about it?”

“Do you speak French?”

“Are you listening to me at all?” I yelped.

“Of course I’m listening to you. You said that name like a native … of Paris.”

I humphed a sigh. “Thor. You … are … being strange … again. No, I am not conversationally fluent in French but I did take it in highschool. Besides, with a name like Charbonneau and all of the hand me down names we have in the family I know how they are supposed to sound. Now can I get back to my story?”

He nodded, “Sure. But I wouldn’t mind if you whispered some sweet nothings to me in French. I don’t care what you say but the accent … oo la la.”

I grabbed a pillow and smacked him one and said, “Behave or you won’t get any oo la la any more.” He stopped and gave me an impossibly angelic look that I had to ignore or I’d bust out laughing again and that would only have encouraged him to be worse than he already was. I cleared my throat and finally got back to the story. “This Roger Charbonneau was … well … from everything in the family history he was a good man for the most part but he was also a bit of a rogue. He wasn’t a scoundrel though, just mischievous with a tendency to go his own way in life. He also gambled though unlike most people he was successful at it because he was very skilled and knew when to quit when he was losing.”

I let this sink in, trying to give Thor a second to absorb the character I was trying to describe. “Now he was also a lady’s man … a big time lady’s man … but still gentlemanly about it or so the women in my family always said. I suspect that he was a little freer with his attention than folks want to admit though, but then again that was before his marriage.”

Thor said, “Uh huh. And is this story actually going some place?”

I hit him with the pillow again. “I’m not prone to telling stories for no reason. Just listen, I’m getting there. You just need some background.”

“You hit me with that pillow again …”

“… you said if you were irritating me I could hit you with a pillow.”

He shook his head. “I said if I upset you we could work it out with a pillow fight. So far I’m not fighting back if you’ll notice.”

“If you’d stop interrupting this story sure would go a whole lot faster.” I knew that he was irritating me on purpose to just yank my chain. And he knew that I knew. It was kind of funny but at the same time he was getting his toes close to the line and I gave him a look to let him know that too.

“Now unlike a lot of Frenchman, Cajuns, and Creoles in the New Orleans area our boy Roger didn’t care where someone had come from before he would be friends with them. Roger, even thought his father was wealthy French businessman and his mother Acadian … a Cajun … had many friends outside of those strict social groups, including people of different economic and religious backgrounds from his. But then his father died and poor Roger was suddenly the head of the family. Over the next five years he developed a dislike of the society he had to go around in during the day … so at night he shall we say lived it up a little too hard. He would go down by the gambling houses near the water at night and live hard and play hard just so that he could stand the pressures and conformity he had to deal with during the day. His mother and younger siblings all loved the life and he loved them so he felt a responsibility to continue to provide the life they had always known even if it meant giving up his own desires. It didn’t help that his mother was always harping on him to find a woman and settle down, her way of forcing him even more deeply into the role that he was playing, of making it permanent. You see, she alone knew how close he was to the edge as he was very like her own father who had been an adventurer until the sea took his life when she was a young girl.”

Thor was trying to look interested but I knew that he wasn’t getting it so I skipped over some of the other romantic stuff and got to the action. “Roger had a good friend by the name of Marcus. Marcus came from a very poor background and on top of all of the other failings that Roger’s mother constantly enumerated, he was an ‘American.’ In other words he was anything but of French descent and anything other than Roger’s social equal. Roger didn’t care though. Marcus had covered his back during more than one fight that could have turned deadly and was also a good business partner. In return for the friendship Roger put Marcus onto jobs that would help him provide money for his family – the story goes that Marcus’ father was a disabled sailor who was drunk more than sober – and save enough to buy some land of his own which was his dream.”

“One night Roger and Marcus decided to go to the slave market. I know it isn’t politically correct but such things existed back then. Roger wasn’t interested in slaves but his mother was looking for a new indentured girl to be a companion for his youngest sister after the last one had completed her indenture and left. There were no one looking to indenture themselves that night that was suitable so they decided to go a few doors down and join what sounded like a rowdy good party. And that’s where our story takes a turn.”

Thor asked in a falsely enthusiastic voice, “It is?” When I gave him a repressive look he grinned unrepentantly but shut up and let me finish the story.

“Roger stopped half way through the door. Marcus had to nudge him several times before he finally would move. The scene sounds pretty unbelievable, even today. There was a party going on all right but it was a pretty raunchy one with only the lowest women of ill repute, not the higher class of courtesans that were the norm at such parties that Roger and Marcus usually went to. This made the young girl who was tied to a beam in the corner of the room stand out even more. She’d obviously been ill-used but she was still lovely despite that. And according to Roger’s own journals the loveliness was more than just skin deep. The man who had her was a well known piece of dockside garbage … and violent drunk on top of it. He was in deep to the local … I guess you’d call them loan sharks today … and well-known or not he was about to take a permanent swim if he didn’t come up with the money to pay off his debts. No one would take his IOUs so he was using the girl as collateral.”

“Let me guess. Ol’ Roger joined the game and not only cleaned the piece of garbage out but won the girl.”

I smiled grimly, “Not quite. Roger won the girl but only after Marcus cleaned the guy out. Roger wasn’t the only gambler remember and he’d taught Marcus really well. That’s when the fight started. And then someone knocked over a lantern and the old wood and tar building that was literally soaked in years of cheap rum and other alcohol was quickly engulfed in flames. Roger and Marcus were able to able to rescue the girl and escape but Roger was badly injured in the process. Weeks go by and the girl helps to nurse Roger back to health and lo and behold Roger falls in love … but he has a nasty facial scar from a piece of dripping tar that not even a beard will hide. Back in those days in some circles a pretty face mattered nearly as much as it does today. Roger could no longer be ‘the face’ of the family business and it didn’t hurt his feelings at all. The long and the short of it was that he turned the family business over to his two younger brothers who were finally of age and took the girl, who was pining for her family, back to her home. And that’s how the Charbonneau name came the mountains of Virginia. Go ahead, ask me what happened to Marcus now.”

Thor laughed but played along. “OK, what happened to ol’ Marcus?”

“Roger had wanted Marcus to accompany him to Virginia thinking it would be a good place for his friend to find a farm and start his own family. He was happy so he wanted his friend to be happy.”

“Didn’t happen that way I take it.”

“No. See Marcus suddenly got greedy. He didn’t just want a little farm to call his own he wanted a plantation and though he’d won quite a bit of money that night it wasn’t nearly enough to fulfill his new dreams. To win more money he had to use his savings and play with richer and richer men which meant he had to take on a richer and richer façade which cost more and more money to maintain. And believe it or not, for a while it worked. But when he started looking the part of some of the rich but debauched men he eventually started acting like them as well. And Roger wasn’t there to moderate his behavior and warn him away from disaster.”

“So ol’ Marcus got himself into some trouble.”

“Some? Try a lot. Like I said, maybe it isn’t politically correct but back then slaves and women … their lives were not always good. Some women became … there’s lots of names for them and hardly any of them polite. Basically they were just trying to survive though it doesn’t make their choice of career right. And in those population of women and slaves certain diseases were common. On one of his excursions to the wild side Marcus caught the Great Pox.”

“You mean small pox. I knew it could be a problem back then. He must have died hard.”

“I said the Great Pox, not small pox. He did die hard but it took years.” At Thor’s confusion I explained, “The great pox was another name for syphilis. Two years after Roger has started his new life Marcus, accompanied by his younger brother, show up in the area looking for him. Marcus’ younger brother … his younger brother named Ben … begged him for refuge in memory of the friendship that Roger and Marcus once had. Roger knew right away that something was up. For one thing he’d had letters from his mother telling him the rumors that Marcus had been generating about himself and how she’d even been forced to run him off after she’d caught him sneaking around trying to … er … encourage one of Roger’s sisters into a less that appropriate relationship.”

I stopped and just waited and it wasn’t a moment before Thor admitted, “OK, I’m hooked … I take it the story continues from there.”

“Yep. Poor Marcus is greatly changed from the man that Roger had known. The great pox has debilitated him but no one at the time knew exactly how much. Ben took Roger aside and explained that the rest of their family had died of one of the local fevers and that only he and Marcus survived it but during that time Ben discovered that Marcus had gone into cahoots with some pirates and then had betrayed the pirates telling them that what they’d put into his safekeeping had been stolen while the city had been shut down by the epidemic by another band of pirates. Marcus had lied, he was the one that had stolen it.”

“And what exactly was ‘it’ or does … wait … you’re not saying.”

I couldn’t help it. I grinned a Cheshire cat grin and said, “Now you’re putting two and two together Big Boy. ‘It’ was chest of ill gotten gain. Ben apparently never told Roger exactly what all was in it but he showed him enough that even brave and resourceful Roger got worried. Roger helped Ben buy a small farm on the other side of the river and even introduced the young man around who became a popular addition to the community … young men with good sense and the means to put it to good use usually were in those days. The only fly in the ointment was that Marcus’ ailment became more obvious as his mental faculties disintegrated. Sometimes Marcus would disappear for days and weeks at a time. It became so bad that Ben had to lock Marcus up for his own good and the safety of his neighbors who he’d begun to act paranoid that were out to ‘steal his treasure.’”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“My grandmothers said that the tale used to be told as a ghost story around these parts but that it had pretty much disappeared from local lore by the time my father was a boy.”

“So what happened?”

“Marcus became violent and one night when Ben went to take him his dinner, he attacked his younger brother and escaped … taking the treasure with him. Ben was injured but not so badly that he couldn’t get to Roger’s farm … this farm … and get help for himself and to warn folks that his brother was on the loose and dangerous. The area people appreciated that Ben – despite the potential social cost to himself – had been willing to warn them and when Marcus was finally found by one of them wandering in the mountains they didn’t kill him but instead took him back to his Ben. Marcus was nearly completely gone by that time and died a week later of what sounds like malnutrition and exposure. The only intelligible thing he said after he was found was ‘You’ll never find it.’ He would say that over and over and over again. Ben nursed him single handedly up to the very end despite his own injuries that he was recovering from. Marcus was buried and a legend was born. Uncle B is a however many greats nephew of Marcus on his maternal side.”

Thor just looked at me. Then he said, “I can’t tell if you’re serious or if this is another one of your stories.”

I opened up the book and showed him a couple of old water colors and a couple of sketches. “This is supposed to be what Roger looked like as a young man. There is a real painting down in my dad’s office in the curio cabinet but it is a smaller than this … only about a three by five … and he is older in it. His wife’s name was Drucilla … Drucilla Robertson … and her picture is down there too; she was several years younger than Roger when they married. Roger and Drucilla’s son was the one that started this book. It’s been rebound several times; my grandfather was the last one to do it. Dad was going to do it but he never … never got around to it. Mom used the last couple of pages on me.” I had to stop because for some reason suddenly I felt like I was gonna cry.

“Hey, none of that. Not today. Instead of rebinding this one, why don’t we start one of our own? There’s enough fancy paper in that scrapbooking place you got lost in to choke a herd of goats. We can use that.”

I slapped his hand away that was brushing at my near tears that hung on my lashes, but I still laughed. “I told you not to wait for me. Mom always hustled us out of there, the lady that owned the place always complained that I made all her fancy doodads and glass knickknacks jump around when I walked in the store.”

“Mean ol’ hag,” he said but quickly added “The store owner, not your mother.”

That did it, I had to laugh despite it all. “Mom really would have loved you. And I’d loved to start the next volume of the family history. It makes sense. The world had just been force fed a large dose of Ipecac and those of us that have survived the purge are having to start over.”

Thor raised an eyebrow and said, “That’s … um … some picture you paint. As soon as the ice thaws we’ll head back to town and salvage enough for a hundred generations. How’s that sound?”

“Wonderful … a little over ambitious, but still wonderful. But we also have another adventure to go on as well.”

“You want to rebury the treasure? I mean I assume that’s what you are saying all of those gold coins are … Marcus’ treasure.”

“I don’t want to rebury it but possibly unbury another one.”

Thor did a double take and said, “Now, I stayed awake through that whole story and I know for a fact you only mentioned one treasure. And what do you mean possibly?”

Smiling I told him, “That is where Uncle Bentley’s map comes in.”

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 73

I picked up Uncle Bentley’s map that Thor had thrown on the dresser the previous day and tossed it to him. “Yeah, I believe the coins, old jewelry, and possibly some of the junk we didn’t bring back with us are the remnants of the original treasure. Somehow … maybe through clues handed down through his family or maybe just by accident … he found it during one of his trips into the mountains.”

Thor nodded his understanding and then waited for me to continue while he unfolded the map. “I was looking at that the other day, trying to decipher all of Uncle B’s symbols and I noticed that one of those marks is different from all the rest. It is the same mark we think he used for caches but the one I’m referring to is drawn in yellow. I almost didn’t see it because of that and because it is on that crease right there.”

Looking at where I pointed Thor asked, “You think Griffey took the treasure and buried something in its place. And you think that place is located at this one symbol.”

“Maybe. Worth a look anyway doncha think? One last adventure before we turn into an old married couple and start spitting out kids like they’re watermelon seeds?”

Thor nearly choked on the mouthful of lukewarm coffee he’d just put in his mouth. It took him forever to stop snorting and spitting so he could get his breath back. I had to move the map because he was making a mess. “Woman! The things you say!!”

We both wound up laughing at absolutely nothing. Finally he asked, “And just when do you want to start this treasure hunt?”

Crawling back under the covers and giving Thor an innocent look I said, “Oh, we’ll get around to it. Right now I think we’ve got more important things to … er … think about.” Thor’s slow smile showed a great deal of approval for tabling the issue.

It was three days before the snow and slush were gone but after that there was mud. Lots of mud. There was no going anywhere with the tractor or the wagon but after several days stuck at the farm I could tell that Thor wanted to get out a bit. His arm was rocking along at better than eighty-five percent and the rest of it would come as he used it and the strength came back. He wouldn’t be lifting anything heavy with it for a while but the danger of infection had passed and he could go around with his arm in a sling and just a minor bandage to keep the new skin from getting irritated.

Rather than go off on foot we took the horses, who were also getting a little antsy at being cooped up, and rode to town to see if there was anything that needed securing before the weather ruined it.

“Thor?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you sure it’s the transfer switch on the generator?”

“No, I’m not sure, at least about that being the only problem, but it is at least one of them. Its frozen into utility mode and preventing the generator from coming on. What I don’t understand is why none of the systems are coming on. It’s possible that there was a lightning strike that put just enough voltage into your dad’s set up. I can’t get the solar back up to come on … none of the power redundancies to come on even though everything looks like it should be charging away. I’m going to pick up a new breaker panel just in case that is the problem.” He blew air out that looked like he was smoking a pipe. “It’s times like this I wish Alfonso was around.”

“Miss ‘em?” I’d asked him before and it was probably a stupid question to ask again but sometimes I really wondered how Thor was going to get used to be away from everything he had known for so many years.

Thor didn’t really answer but instead said, “Doesn’t matter if I do or not. They aren’t here and I am and I’m wishing I had paid more attention when Alfonso was putting together the backcountry power units we had access to every once in a while. It’s too easy when you are the boss to order someone to do something but never learn to do it yourself.”

It took a little longer to get to town because we were careful with the horses. Last thing we needed was for one of them to stumble and get hurt; it’s not like we could just go out and buy another horse which got me to thinking about how were we going to eventually replace them.

Since it was a priority we hit the electrical supply house operated by the transformer manufacturer first and then we rode down to the scrapbooking hobby shop. Thor said, “Be right back” and then took off around the building. I thought he just wasn’t interested in what I was going in there for but then I heard the distinctive sound of a zipper and understood what he’d meant. The bathrooms in most of the businesses were really rancid and dark so bodily functions were easier to take care of in a more natural setting.

I was in the hobby shop for about ten minutes and starting to get concerned that Thor hadn’t returned when looked out the window and I saw him being marched along by three guys who were all pointing guns at his back. There was blood running from his hair line and around his ear. When I got a better look at the three behind him all I can say is I was red hot and real close to popping my rivets.

I didn’t even bother being careful I was just that shocked and PO’d. When one of them jabbed him in the ribs and said, “You are either going to tell us where your friend is or …” I completely lost it.

“You poke him one more time Strother and I’m going to rip the scalp right off your skull!”

All three of the guys made funny yelping noises and turned in my direction. Thor had turned around ready for a smack down but backed off when he saw me standing there on the steps of the store glaring at the three guys who’d suddenly gone for big bad dogs to whipped puppies.

“Lawson, if your brother doesn’t have any sense I would have hoped that you would have let him borrow some of yours but obviously not. And Johnson I’m more disappointed in your than the other two put together. Just what the Sam Hill do you three stooges think you are doing manhandling my husband like that?!”

A whole bunch of gobbling started coming out of their mouths making absolutely no sense at all. Thor finally whistled for quiet and asked me, “I take it you know these three?”

“Know them?! Of course I know them! I played football with them forever and we were on the same Venture Crew. But if you are asking me if I know where they’ve parked their brains you’ll get a completely different answer. Of all the lame brained, numb skulled …”

I thought their teeth were going to fall out when Thor said, “Now Hon … no harm no foul … I don’t think you need to flay the skin off of ‘em.”

“I’ll flay more than the skin. Is your arm …?”

A warning look told me Thor would prefer I not mollycoddle him in public so I stopped. I did however go down the stairs to stand firmly by his side and glare at the three young men that I’d known my whole life while I wiped the blood off of his face. And then out of the blue by anger evaporated and I had to hold onto Thor to keep my knees from quaking.

“Uncle Bentley told me everyone was dead. Oh Lord.” I was having a bit of a reaction and was struggling to maintain my composure.

Johnson started looking around carefully while asking in a too casual voice, “Mr. Griffey with you?”

I shook my head but it was Thor who answered, “Johnson right?” When Johnson nodded he said, “Griffey’s dead.” He didn’t give any details but his tone of voice had a quality that conveyed enough that my friends understood that it was a touchy subject not to be broached unless necessary.

I patted Thor’s arm and said, “It’s OK Thor. They aren’t greenies, they’re too much the carnivore for that.”

Strother half grinned and said, “Only you would look at it that way Rocky.” He turned to Thor and said, “Look man, sorry we got off on the wrong foot. Things have been crazy around here for a while. You two look pretty good though.”

I turned and told him, “Anybody would look good compared to the three of you. What have you been doing? Rolling around in dog mess? Lord, take a bath already.”

While Strother and Johnson blushed at my frankness Lawson said, “We’ve been trying to track down our hogs. They busted down a piece of their fence and we just finished rounding them up.”

I was afraid to ask but I had to anyway. “Uncle Bentley really did say that everyone … that everyone was dead. That those that hadn’t been poisoned had been hunted down and killed.”

Strother, the more volatile of the two Hefling brothers, asked, “Yeah, and did he tell you what part he played in that?”

Thor growled at the implied criticism and I had to put my hand on his chest to get him to back down. “Knock it off Strother. It just about killed me to find out …” I stopped and drew a deep breath. “I didn’t know about Uncle B’s … tendencies or whatever you want to call them. He was nearly as crazy as a bed bug by the time we got to town and found him and found out what had been going on. Can we sit down some place? If there are going to be more revelations I’d rather not be standing if it is going to … to be … to be worse than it already is.”

Johnson knew me probably better than the other two did and said, “Knock it off Stro. You know Rocky and you know she wouldn’t have ever put up with that kind of BS and neither would Mr. Charbonneau.”

All three looked at me and I couldn’t answer them. Thor did it for me, “Rochelle’s parents died in the first attack out in San Francisco. She’s gone through a lot to get home. We’ve all gone through a lot. She’s just now coming to terms with some of it so cut her some slack.” The last was said with an edge of steel and they got the message.

Johnson said, “Coach is going to freak.”

That brought my head up and around. “Coach?!”

He grinned a big farm boy’s grin, “Yeah. They didn’t get as many people at that school meeting as they thought. Just because they checked names off didn’t mean people stayed for the party after they came through the door. A lot of kids from school said they’d go to the meeting but then we were supposed to meet up to say hi and junk, kinda trade stories and see if we could help each other out. We signed in with our families but when everyone was milling around waiting for the meeting to start we’d sneak off one or two at a time and rendezvoused in the locker rooms. Coach found out about it somehow and came to round us up to keep us from getting into trouble. His wife was with him ‘cause he thought … you know … we had some girls and stuff going on. But we didn’t and that’s when Stro’s little sister comes running in and crying and saying people are starting to get sick and falling over and that she can’t get their mom to … you know. It was bad.”

Lawson continued the story. “They caught a lot of people. They did. But not everyone had been willing to be bribed with the food so not everyone had eaten everything. It was real crazy. My Dad … he hadn’t wanted to come because him and mom were fighting about the child support again but he did and … anyway he’s having a hard time with Mom being dead; it made his PTSD come on and he couldn’t tell whether he was in the gym or back over there. He doesn’t remember much but the people he saved said he kept telling them to play dead and then crawl over in the dark behind the bleachers and go out through that little mechanic’s door that is there. You know the one the kids always used to go catch a smoke.”

I nodded. Stro picked up the story from there. “We were doing OK, not great, but OK. Those greenie fools may think they are all mother nature and crap but they get lost in the woods the same as most city folks … worse because no one cares if they get lost and die. It was easy to fool them and sometimes make them do something so stupid they kilt themselves dead doing it. They were easy to freak out in the dark too which was kinda fun.” Lawson and Johnson looked a little irritated at Stro’s words but didn’t say anything. Stro was who he was and no one was ever going to be able to iron his wrinkles out. “But then that sickness came and it was all we could do to not die ourselves.”

Thor said, “Griffey claimed that a large Greenie group released it trying to clear out all of the refugees from the cities that were on the highway.”

Johnson nodded and said, “That’s something close to what Coach thought. Or at least he was sure the greenies did it but he thought the refugees brought it with them from the cities.”

I asked, “Did … did the town lose a lot of people that way?”

“What, the sickness? No, hardly any. The only ones who died tried to come into town looking for food and stuff too soon. The bodies of the dead people hadn’t even done much more than start to rot. We figure they were still infectious for up to a month after they died. The wetter they decomposed the longer they were a threat. People learned mostly. There were one or two stupid ones but mostly we just holed up and waited for it to be over. We’d already been hiding anyway … hunting cabins, family farms way back in the woods, you know the drill.”

I nodded and then looked at Thor. He said, “We don’t want trouble but I have to ask. Does anybody hold that GWB crap against Rochelle?”

I tried to say something but he gave me a quick look and I stopped. Lawson said, “Wow. I didn’t know anybody but Mr. Charbonneau and Coach could do that.”

“You want me to plant you Lawson?” I asked, embarrassed that they’d noticed.

Johnson smiled, “It’s funny to hear someone besides a substitute teacher call you Rochelle too.” They knew me well enough that they’d gone just about as far as I was up to tolerating at that moment. All three suddenly got serious but it was Stro that answered. “Rocky, I’ll be honest. My dad ain’t too with it some days. He says things sometimes he really don’t mean when he is in his right mind, but he’s the only one with that excuse. And by that I mean that most folks don’t think what has happened is your fault but there are a couple that maybe you shouldn’t … you know … trust and stuff until you get a feel for things around here again. Damascus ain’t the same place it was. People are … are sad and angry … mostly they’re scared though. The winter is going to be hard and maybe some won’t make it. A few have turned kinda funny in the head and all paranoid and junk; they aren’t really the ones we worry about.”

Thor asked, “Who do you worry about?”

“Couple of family have relatives from out of town. They don’t act like us and they don’t really think like us. All they care about is theyselves and what somebody owes them.”

Johnson muttered, “At least they aren’t as bad as Kemper.”

“Kemper? Mr. Kemper … the guy that owned the Laundromat?” I asked surprised. “The guy any little kid could talk into giving a donation to their fund raiser?”

He nodded, “One and the same. He was slick as owl … er … crap about it at first. He wasn’t the type you know that people thought to be careful of. First he got people on his side by getting organized before everyone else. Then he started doling out ammunition saying he’d make sure things were fair, that everyone could protect themselves … only after a while he promised to protect ‘his’ people and the ammunition started going to only certain of his friends that kissed his butt. And he’s got food and medicine too.”

Stro muttered soto voice, “Buncha boot lickers.”

His brother shook his head and said, “You know it’s more than that Stro. Folks are desperate. And Janie’s little brother needed those inhalers.”

In an instant I knew what had Stro all bent out of shape. “Stro?”

He turned around and snapped, “She just up and took the baby. Just left. I told her I was going to go to Abingdon and find some medicine for him but she didn’t think I would come back. I came back from hunting and they just were like gone. She didn’t even leave a note or nothin’. And now she’s like in love with this really old guy over there and I can’t even get close enough to ask how the baby is. Last time I tried they shot me. If Dad hadn’t found me I’d still be laying in the middle of the road where they left me. Just because Shelly ain’t my blood doesn’t mean she ain’t my little girl. I was there when she was born. I’m the one that changed her diapers and fed her when Janie was too tired or sick. Don’t nobody listen to that though. They just say, get over it.”

I put my hand on his arm and then hugged him. I saw Thor stiffen a bit but I’d have to explain later. Stro fought me at first but then he stomped his feet and cried, “Nobody understands! Nobody cares!”

Still hugging him I said, “Sure we do. But it’s hard to see how much you’re hurting and it makes us want to make it go away for you so stupid stuff gets said not realizing it is only hurting you more.”

After a few more seconds he hugged me back hard and then stood back up straight and looked away while he got himself composed. With a look I told Thor I’d tell him the story in a bit and looked at Lawson who nodded his head then at Johnson who gave me a fist bump before saying, “If you two can hang around a few more minutes a few more people should be coming around.” When Thor went on alert he added, “These people are OK … Coach, my brother Sandford, and Mr. McCarter. They know Rocky from school and it’s all cool.”

Sandford was Thor’s age and at first bristled about him being my husband but when I threatened to knee cap him and Thor only rolled his eyes and told me to stop abusing the rest of the male species; and then a moment later we started picking at each other and Sand and the other men stood down and actually shook Thor’s hand and wished him luck. I wasn’t too sure I appreciated the inference but on the other hand it meant that Thor had been accepted even if it was in a backhanded way.

Coach asked me, “Rocky? Your parents?”

I should have been expecting the question since I’d already been asked it once but all of the emotions of the moment left me unable to answer so Thor did it for me again. Unlike the guys however Coach and the other two men needed more of an explanation. That however would have to wait as it was getting later in the afternoon and when you aren’t driving it takes a bit longer to get where you’re going.

It was Sandford who pulled me aside and asked, “Rocky, you sure … I mean, you’re home now. If … um … that guy …”

Knowing Sandford since he’d been my Dad’s assistant crew leader after his own father had been forced to give it up due to bad knees I knew what he was trying to say. “It’s all good Sand. Thor is … he’s the other half of me. He’s protected me probably more than I know … and as weird as it sounds I’m actually OK with that. I could say a lot of stuff about it but … he makes me feel like a girl … female … a … a woman. Please don’t … don’t make this into something nasty. It’s not. Under any other circumstances I can’t seeing us ever having met … but God set it up so that we could. And it’s good.”

After a thoughtful moment and a sigh he said, “OK. It just seems strange. And you don’t seem yourself either.”

“I’m definitely me … I’m just the me no one around here could ever seem to see. Thor makes it easier to be me but at the same time makes me want to be a better me. He didn’t push me into anything. I promise. It’s a real long story and there’s no time for it but he’s put his life on the line for me way more than once and was there for me even when I wasn’t being totally honest and up front with him.”

“Sarah is going to want to hear that long story. If it isn’t raining tomorrow, you think you two could meet us at the old fire ring? Around lunch time? I’ll try and make sure it’s just her and I but Johnson might wind up tagging along if he suspects something.”

I saw Thor nod out of the corner of my eye which meant he’d been eavesdropping despite giving half an ear to something Mr. McCarter was saying to him. “Sure Sand. You and Thor can put a line in the water while Sarah grills me on the girl stuff.”

Sand sighed a half grin and said, “You know her so well.” Then Thor and I were alone again heading the direction we needed to go.

“You OK Hon? You’re awful quiet.”

Rather than answer him I asked, “Thor, what did you make of them?”

Thor seemed to give my question careful consideration. “The boys seem a little young. The man everyone calls Coach is … reserved but in charge. McCarter? Not sure what to make of him. As for that Sanford fella … who’s Sarah?”

“Sarah is Sandford’s wife so don’t get all bent out of shape. She and mom were shirt tail cousins of some type and Mom was teaching her to quilt before … you know before. Dad and Sandford’s dad were friends and our two families used to spend a lot of time together during the harvests before Sandford and Johnson’s grandfather sold the farm. Mr. McCarter was a deacon in his church and he was one of the people that would get real bent out of shape when he’d hear some of the idiot “devil children” things that could be said on the TV about the GWBs. He could really go off on it and seemed to go in the opposite direction to make up for it to my parents and me. Funny now that I think about it but him and Uncle B never got on very well. Coach … is Coach; not my friend exactly but sure as heck was never an enemy. Kinda like a reluctant mentor, he did resent having to make any kind of concessions for me being a girl though. He was honest about it so I never held it against him. When I was one of his players he never treated me different from the guys, I had to meet all of the same requirements they did and he gave me credit for being able to do it. I respected that a lot more than people that were always trying to cut me slack just because I was a girl or challenged or a GWB. Ran into people that seemed to always turn my existence into something political and that just completely blew.”

“So this Sandford … you never … uh … had a crush on him or … or anything like that.”

Outraged I said, “Sandford? Are you kidding?! Ew. At one time Sandford and Johnson were like brothers to me. That’s … ew Thor … that’s just nasty.”

Thor cocked his eyebrow, “Don’t over play it. I know I’m acting like a jealous fool.”

“For one, I’m not over playing it. I never saw Sandford or Johnson like that. Frankly I never saw anyone like that … not really … not until you came along. I don’t know why I didn’t, I just didn’t. Maybe I was a late bloomer or something, at least in that respect. For two, you don’t have any reason to be jealous. Even if I was an idiot and willing to risk messing up what we have, I can promise you no guy around here is going to think about me like that. You saw how they looked when I said we were together. And their ears nearly fell off when I said you were my husband. The only reason … and I mean the only reason … Sandford acted like he did was because he felt some kind of obligation because of Dad and because you and he are about the same age and he can’t see me as anything other than … whatever it is he thought I was before.”

Thor shook his head and said, “I don’t know whether to feel blessed, lucky, or question the intelligence of the men in this town. Whatever it is, they are too late. You’re mine and that’s final.”

I hooted a laugh. “You’ll get no argument from me.” After a second I wondered, “It does seem strange that we’ve been here this long and not even had a clue anyone else was here until now.”

“Not too strange. If they were avoiding the town because they thought there were more greenies still around or due to possible continued infection potential. And from the sound of things everyone is out the other direction of town, we could have just missed them. That does let out us doing more salvaging however.”

I told him grimly, “Not necessarily. We don’t know how many people are left. I’m going to try and get that information out of Sandford or Sarah tomorrow. We also don’t know how well set up they are though I suspect they aren’t that well off if people are scared about the coming winter. I also don’t know to what extent they’ve been preparing or how serious any of them have been. It also means that I want … sorry … I would like your approval to start salvaging larger items before the other group thinks about it.”

Thor looks at me and says, “My approval?”

“I said I was sorry Thor. I’m trying.”

“So I see. Now do me a favor and stop trying so hard. I don’t want you to feel you have to stop wanting stuff nor do I expect you to ask for my approval for everything thing. Your idea is a good one and something I think we need to move to the top as a priority. I don’t expect you to feel like you have to act like you’ve got pillow stuffing for brains. In fact just the opposite; you’re smart and I expect that to show up in our team work … I want that to show up in our team work. Just don’t go off on your own without including me or at least telling me so I can see if I can help or flesh out the plan a little. I do have more experience in that respect than you.”

“You … you sure that I’m not making a mess out of this? I’m sorry I stepped on your man toes before and …”

He barked out a surprised laugh. “My man toes?”

“Aw come on, you know what I mean.”

He laughed and little more and said, “Yes, I know what you mean. Just do me a favor. Don’t treat me like I’m a bomb that is about to go off. I’m no more made of glass than you are. I do have my pride but that doesn’t mean my pride should have the right to overshadow yours. We’re partners. Got it?”

That made me feel good in a way that was hard to explain without someone else thinking I was being immature or girly girl. It just felt good to be thought of as a partner … a mate … an equal, just maybe one that brought different talents and skills to the team.

After we got home there were chores and other things to take care of. It was going to take Thor more than a day to figure out why we couldn’t get the house fired up so he just took the supplies down there and left them. We were doing OK so far and it saved using the propane. Most of both tanks remained but when that was gone it was going to be gone for good.

After an early dinner we went upstairs and snuggled while making plans. We looked at the salvage map we had drawn and tried to create a route that would maximize our time out.

“It’s still too muddy for the wagon but I still think it is important that we hit the places with the tractors again.”

I agreed with Thor and then said, “Um … Thor?”

“Yeah Hon?”

“You … you know kinda … oh brother.”

My unusual hesitance made Thor put down the map and turn to look at me. “What is it?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Not sure what?”

“I … argh!”

“Rochelle if you don’t spit it out …”

Embarrassed for absolutely no reason that made any sense I said, “Thor you’ve like … you know … been with other women.”

Thor just sat there looking at me before saying, “I’m not going to discuss that with you. I … er … don’t think … Why on earth would you start talking about this now?”

I decided that since he couldn’t read my mind I was obviously just going to have to spit it out. “Look, tomorrow, give me a little time alone with Sarah, OK? I just need to ask her some female stuff.”

“O ho, no, we are not going down that path. If you have a question about something we are doing then you can ask me.”

I chewed my lip trying to say it without hurting his feelings. “I don’t think it is what you think it is about Thor. What we do isn’t … well blast it … you know I like being with you. That’s not what I mean. Just … just talking to Stro today …”

He bowed up and asked, “What the blazes does he have to do with anything?”

“Oh settle down. He doesn’t, not directly. I was just … I mean … the … little girl. Look, what I’m trying to ask is there, you know, a kinda simple way to, um, keep doing what we’re doing without, you know, paying the consequences for it right away?”

It was a moment but he finally understood what I was asking. “You don’t want kids.”

“Of course I want kids so long as they’re yours. It’s just … ding blast it … there is so much work for us to get things set up this winter. When Stro started talking I remembered how sick and tired Janie always was and how it didn’t stop after the baby was born. I’d willingly go through that if I have to but I … confound it … I don’t want to dump everything in your lap right out the chute!”

After a moment Thor relaxed and shook his head like either he or I were crazy. “Ro-chelle I swear. Look at me. Yeah, there’s … things … we can do to be a little more careful. And if you would prefer to ask your friend Sarah then go ahead. And no, I don’t have a problem with it. But you worry me like that one more time and I’ll turn you over my knee. I’ve never been the jealous type and feeling that way when it concerns a boy that doesn’t look like his brain is firing on all cylinders makes it worse. I should have thought of it myself. I need to be thinking about things like that for both our sakes.”

I would have laughed in relief if I hadn’t been worried that Thor would take it the wrong way. “Stro is all right, he’s just not real complicated. Janie always said that so long as you fed and watered him regular he was as easy as a lamb to be with. I know they did things they shouldn’t have but he was awful good to Janie after she came back from the summer she spent at her aunts in Virginia Beach pregnant. It was a town scandal and her parents threw her out of the house and Stro talked his grandmother into renting her a room and then did everything he could to get her and her parents on speaking terms again. I didn’t even think to ask about them. They must be dead if Janie had her little brother with her.”

“She’s lucky she was here in the US, she would have been stoned to death in a lot of Mid East countries. What, they’re all of eighteen or nineteen?”

“Try again. Stro is twenty-one … he graduated a year ahead of me but started school late and then failed sixth grade. Lawson is my age. Johnson is nearly twenty. He has an early birth day and graduated a year ahead of me too.”

“Those boys are older than you? Lord, now I do feel old. Maybe I am robbing the cradle.”

I laughed and then enjoyed convincing him that whatever it was that we did, we did it together and by mutual consent and that I was extremely well-pleased by how things had turned out. There were a lot of things I wondered and worried about but that wasn’t one of them. I did however, wake up in the night a couple of times wondering if I was going to like what I heard when we met Sand and Sarah. And the old, suspicious part of me snuck out and wondered if I could really trust what I was hearing or would they only say what they thought I wanted to hear.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 74

“Well, well, well … look who the cat drug in.” Sarah was shaking and had tears coming down her cheeks when I hugged her. I could have picked her up just by standing up straight but I respected her too much to treat her like the porcelain dolly she looked like.

The petite blonde woman hugging me back like I was her long lost twin was my complete opposite in nearly everything except when it came to her mouth. As bad as I could be she beat me all to Flanders and back. I try to only get riled up at people I’m not worried about scaring. Sarah Ann Winkle didn’t care if you were man or beast, big or small, young or old … if you got in her face or threatened someone she cared about she’d light up like a Roman candle and aim. Most people with sense learned to walk soft around her after witnessing a couple of her blow ups. If you were who she was blowing up at it only took once.

At the same time she was so sweet and nice she could just about turn you cross eyed. Dad tolerated her because Mom loved her. She was the daughter of a good friend that had died too young. Mom never compared Sarah and I but I often did it to myself. I guess I was about thirteen when Dad took me aside and told me he’d consider it a blessing if I wouldn’t use her as my role model. When I asked why – I really admired Sarah’s prettiness and what I saw as her ability to stand up for herself – he said that I couldn’t get away with it like Sarah did and I’d wind up miserable.

Now that hurt my feelings at the time but then I realized Dad was right. It didn’t make it fair but he was most definitely right. Sometimes you just have to hear the truth whether you want to or not and it was better to hear it early and from someone that cared about me as a person than to grow up being foolish and blind. Besides, after I’d matured enough to look at both sides of things I realized while people might avoid putting Sarah into a temper they rarely took her seriously whether she was in one or not.

Put bluntly I’m an English Mastiff – big, loyal, and scary looking unless you get to know me, but also more than capable of doing the job as needed; overall not a dog most people wouldn’t even consider having just because of size and lack of “cute” factor. Sarah Ann is like one of those poofy Pomeranian dogs – small, inquisitive, vivacious and spirited, so cute most everyone wants one … or at least until they realize how strong-willed they are and how surprisingly loud and yappy they can be. Sarah Ann is bows and pompoms; I’m bandanas and boots. She Ann grabbed life in both hands and hung on tight; I was always afraid of grabbing it too hard and breaking it. And still somehow we managed to be friendly and not just because of Mom.

“Oh my Lord Rocky! When Sand told me …”

“Geez Sarah, don’t turn into a watering pot. Please. Sand will run me off.” I was trying to joke her out of her weepiness because if Sandford Winkle got to be an old man he was going to be one of those little old men who will carry a big cane. He was about five foot seven, not impossibly small, but he was thin and wiry and that made people think he was smaller … and when he stood next to me or Johnson he looked downright petite. On the other hand he could hold his own in any fight … Sand was sleek and flexible as a cat and took some kind of krav something or other self defense classes. When he left highschool where he was ROTC, he spent his four in and survived, and then spent three after that in college finishing up a Business degree online from Liberty University. Sand was easy to underestimate but I’d warned Thor that he wasn’t anyone to mess with. And Sarah and I both knew it so she knew I was being facetious.

“Oh stop,” she said, finally laughing. “And who is this?” she asked somewhere between extreme prejudice and extreme interest.

“Knock it off Sarah, you already have yours. This one is mine and his name is Thor.” I’d also warned Thor about Sarah and he was fairly tolerant though I noticed he never got within arms reach of her. Sarah is a hugger and toucher and Thor shared my need for personal space. Usually Sarah ignored that in people but strangely enough she gave Thor a wide berth … maybe because Sand was around, or maybe because she was learning there were less tolerant people in the world than the ones she had grown up with.

“My my, so you found yourself a big ‘un to match you. Your mom …” she stopped and we both nodded.

“Yeah, Mom would have eat him up. She always told me that if I let God handle things it would come when I least expected it, but needed it most. Well, I wasn’t expecting it that’s for sure – didn’t even know that I wanted it to be honest – and it took me a while to even admit that I needed it, much less anything else along those lines. I think Dad would have come around but … it would have taken a bit. He would have liked Thor as a person, geez Louise if they wouldn’t be two peas in a pod, but the love stuff … now that would have taken more time than we certainly gave it.”

It was easy enough to say such things to Sarah, she was pretty blunt, and Thor and Sand had gone off to check out the stream that was nearby. “But look at you,” I told her. “Sand didn’t say a word. When are you due?”

She blushed a little but I almost didn’t see it because of her blindingly bright smile. “We think in about four and a half months, give or take a week or so on either side. I’ve never been regular and after what the doctor told us … well, you know we thought we would have to go to a fertility specialist to hatch our own. Looks like the doctor was wrong.”

I shrugged and said, “Or maybe God just decided it was time or something. Maybe it was His way of saying ‘My time and not yours.’ Or something like that anyway.”

She tilted her head and looked at me. “You would think that … oh and don’t ruffle your feathers, you know what I mean. Besides, I’m pretty sure I agree with you. Look we don’t have much time, Sand wasn’t real comfortable stalling for me. Are you seriously OK? I mean, it’s just so unexpected.”

I got a little irritated but didn’t let it show. I mean I know people never put me at the top of the list when it came to man-catching ability … at least not that type of man-catching … but it still hurt a bit. “Thor and I are good for each other. I … look … not that it is anyone’s business but Thor loves me and I love him. And …” I stopped feeling the need to say it but not wanting to at the same time. Needing won out. “Sarah, Thor’s the man for me. I trust him. We didn’t even … you know … until we got here and even then he didn’t jump on me or anything.”

“Didn’t what?” I didn’t know if she was being sly or stupid but since I’d started it I decided to finish it.

“Canoodle. We were together and committed and everything but we wanted to be someplace safe and secure before we potentially did anything to put someone … especially a little someone … in danger just because we couldn’t keep our zippers up.”

She was trying really hard not to laugh. “You called it canoodling.” She was bent over with her hand over her mouth, snorting and giggling for all she was worth. Knowing Sarah, I knew all I could do was let her finish up.

She finally wiped her eyes and said, “I nearly wet myself. I still can’t believe you called it…”

“Yeah, yeah … you know what I mean. And looking at you, you know why we made that choice. Don’t say anything to Thor please. He’s a guy and might not get your sense of humor until he gets to know you better.”

She hugged me again and said, “Don’t worry. Sand made me promise to behave, especially after he found out how rough Johnson and the Hefling boys were on him. I can’t believe he didn’t take a swipe at them.”

“Yeah, well I almost took a swipe at them. If Thor had they would have been in for some serious hurt. He’s …” I stopped not sure exactly what I wanted to tell her. Some secrets were worth keeping.

“Yeah he’s big all right and Sand said he gets the vibe he’s seen action. Not many men could have kept their temper in that situation.”

“Yeah,” I answered. But that is all I answered. If Thor wanted information leaked I’d let him do it himself. “Anyway, now that the girl stuff is done, can you tell me what has been going on around here? The boys … well, were boys and I didn’t have time to really ask Sand, Coach, or Mr. McCarter about anyone in particular. I can guess a couple … Janie’s parents and grandparents must be gone if she had her little brother. Stro and Lawson’s mom at the school gym. And I guess Sand told everyone about Uncle Bentley.”

“Yeah, he … Rocky, be careful when you mention Mr. Griffey around folks. He … he isn’t well liked.”

“You mean his memory isn’t.”

“Either or. We’ll pass the word around … and that you weren’t involved in any of it … but you still be careful for a while ‘til you get the feel for how things are. You weren’t here and don’t understand.”

A little impatiently I said, “No, I was just fighting to stay alive and nearly getting killed a couple of times trying to get home from the other side of the country. Was nearly killed by some rabid greenies half way here and got here and nearly got killed by some more.”

“What?! They didn’t tell me that! Sanford Charles Winkle!!”

No one likes to be called by their full time, especially in the tone of voice she used. Sand had just come out of the bushes with Thor … with a sheepish looking Johnson between them. “Don’t fly up at me Sarah, I didn’t know it either. One of the reasons I wanted to meet with them was to try and get the full story; there wasn’t time for it yesterday.” He gave his little brother an aggravated look and told him, “You might as well call any of the others that are out there. Thor may be willing to let you slide for this but I swear I’m about ready to send you to the moon.”

Johnson said, “Rocky knows …”

“Don’t look at me. Stupid stuff like that can get a body shot these days. You aren’t a kid anymore Johnson and this isn’t the school yard. Use your head.”

Johnson gave me a strange look and then whistled. A little better than half a dozen young men came forward out of the trees. Sand muttered something that sounded like, “Mangy buncha puppies” but none of them took it personally. But I didn’t have time to enjoy the reunion because I noticed Thor go on alert which in turn made me go on alert which meant bringing my weapon down and forward.

“Rocky? It was just a gag.” Then he shut up when he noticed Sand had also stiffened and looked towards the trees the boys had just come out of.

I told Johnson quietly but with a real serious edged, “If anyone is out there playing ‘possum it would be a good time to tell them to knock it off.”

I moved around so that Thor and I were back to back. “Rocky?” This time it was Sarah. Before I could answer Sand said, “Hush Sarah Ann. Johnson …”

“It’s not one of us. And I know it ain’t Mr. Hefling as he is at Mrs. Crenshaw’s with that racked up leg. Stro?”

“Dad is out of it … but with that tea that Granny C made up, not out of his head out of it … Just sleeping.”

Quietly I told Sand, “You take care of Sarah and the boys. Thor and I have done this too many times and if I’m a target I don’t want y’all to get caught in the middle.”

“Now just a …” he started but I ignored him and followed Thor into the forest. I could feel it now too. The animals were too quiet; there was something in the woods.

Thor and I did what we had done for months but if it wasn’t for his previous career and experience we would have both been badly hurt. A trip wire and a couple of other hastily placed booby traps had been laid. A sudden burst of activity to my right had me spinning and I got a good shot off at a man running away. From another direction came return fire but whoever it was found themselves caught in a crossfire between Thor and I and Sand and the boys.

When I heard movement from their group to head into the woods and help I yelled, “Stop! The woods are boobied!” Things got real quiet but we finally sweated the last two of the enemy and they broke and ran and Thor and I put a period to their escape. We waited a few more minutes but it was easy to tell from how the forest returned to normal that whatever threat that had been sensed was no longer in the area.

Thor wouldn’t let me take point despite the fact we returned the same path we had come. I whistled an all clear like in our games of Man Hunt but then added, “Don’t leave the clearing. Thor and I are going to check for boobies and see if we can disarm them.”

Sand said, “Thor, I was in an IED disarming team.”

Thor rumbled approvingly and when we stepped into the clearing told me, “Switch out.”

I wanted to object for a lot of reasons but for just as many reasons I didn’t and kept my mouth shut. Thor caught my eye and gave me a half wink. I didn’t know whether it was approval or commiseration but I took it and it made my choice go down easier. I expected a lot of questions about when Thor and Sand disappeared but instead there was silence and even Sarah look at me like she was having trouble recognizing me.

My defenses slammed in place so hard I’m surprised they didn’t echo in the trees. I turned as if I didn’t care and went to scan the forest on the opposite side of the small clearing. I could just make out the body of one of the enemy and was trying to determine if I recognized him. It was Stro who joined me and ignoring everything else I asked, “Anyone you know? I can’t place him from this angle.”

“Could be. He’s dressed like a local.” I raised an eyebrow, not understanding exactly what he meant. “Them crazy people dress funny … or they did over the summer when there was a lot more of them around. They tried to make out like they were hippies or some such. Dad said they weren’t nothing but a buncha commies. Half of ‘em were always going around with chiggers and skeeter bites all over ‘em. I swear, and people call me dumb, but at least I’ve got enough sense to put on clothes when the bugs are bitin’. Their feet was always dirty too … nasty, oh my laws were they nasty. Didn’t wear proper shoes but flip flops, sandals made out of flat tires, and some that looked like they were made out of twine … and that’s when they bothered to wear shoes at all!”

I couldn’t help but smile a little at Stro’s outrage. For all the things he and Janie got up to he was one of the straightest boys in our group and didn’t really care for anything that seemed strange or too different from his version of normal. I used to wonder where I fit into his idea of what was right and what wasn’t and even got up the nerve to ask him once. He said that he and I were more alike than different because neither one of us had a say in the flavor we turned out to be. As a result I’d always had a soft spot for Stro but not the kind most people thought; we were just friends of a type that most folks could never understand because they hadn’t had to walk in our shoes. Stro had been a “blue baby” and though they’d gotten him breathing right away he still grew up with academics being a lot harder for him than most other people. But you give him a hammer and nails and there isn’t too much he couldn’t build. He measured things with a knotted string that his grandfather had made for him rather than with a ruler or tape measure.

I said, “Well, if he’s local, he isn’t anyone that I recognize from the back … at least not at this angle.”

I stopped talking and was trying to listen for Thor and Sand. Stro wasn’t finished yet so I expected the others had let him to their talking for them. “You … uh … you been doing things different while you been away.”

Even though it was a statement and not a question I answered him anyway, “Stro, my parents were murdered practically in front of my eyes along with a lot of other innocent people. Jonathon and I were the only GWBs left in the world at that point and we were scared to death. We ran for our lives … ran to his grandmother’s place. From there the three of us tried to get back here but the craziness of the roads and then the EMP stopped us. Eventually stopped his grandmother personally – she had a pacemaker – and the road took Jonathon from me too because he ran out of his medicine. I’ve done things I never imagined I’d have to do just to survive from one moment to the next.”

“OK.”

And for Stro that was enough. Bad things had happened and I hadn’t had any choice to but “tough up.” The explanation sufficed … but not for Sarah Ann Winkle. “That’s just ridiculous Rocky. You can’t tell me you went all Mad Max. Look at you. Except for your hair, you look more like a girl than you used to.”

“Believe what you want Sarah Ann. My hair was a lot shorter than this for a while and …”

“… And I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t encourage her to cut it short again. Just because she went around pretending she was a guy for a few months doesn’t mean I want to see her forced to live that way again.”

Thor, along with Sand, had quietly come back into the clearing and his words freaked everyone out.

“A guy?!!”

It was Stro who crossed his arms and gave me a disgruntled look and said, “You did not.”

“I did too. That doesn’t mean I had to like it but I was on my own and didn’t know who I could trust and who I couldn’t. I don’t know what it was like around here but …” I shrugged. “But being female out on the road alone, even one like me, wasn’t exactly safe. Sand, you try and imagine what could have happened to Sarah if she’d been stuck away from home all alone.”

He shook his head. “Won’t do it. It’d just give me nightmares.”

Lawson finally put a word in and then was echoed by the other boys, Stro included, “Well, then tell us. How did you get home?”

I looked at Thor who said, “Why don’t you tell ‘em. I’ll go clean up.”

“No. We’ll clean up and then I’ll tell ‘em if there is time. The story has waited this long and we need to know who would do such a thing as this and what their motive was,” I said right back.

In a dead voice it was Sand that answered. “They were some of Kemper’s people. None of ours as far as I can tell but those that he took in from the highway refugees. Except for the one … that blonde over there was his cousin.”

Stro bowed up. “Kemper?!”

“Easy Stro,” Lawson said. “You knew he was bad news when his people shot you just for making a fuss about wanting to see Janie and the baby. You gotta get ahold of yourself. You don’t want Dad going on a tear and getting hurt … or hurting anyone he shouldn’t.”

It took a lot of effort but Stro did eventually ratchet it back down. People had a bad habit of underestimating his ability to understand but Lawson never had; and they both knew they needed to protect their father. Lawson turned and said, “Sand, you think they were trying to get Dad blamed for anything that happened?”

Sand shrugged, “Hadn’t thought of it that way but maybe so. I just don’t see what they thought to gain from this.”

I looked at Thor and a silent thought passed between us. “I’ve …”

Thor interrupted with, “We’ve been …”

I sighed, “We’ve been seen then. We’ve been doing some salvaging since we got back to town. We didn’t know anyone was still around … at least not in the numbers that there apparently are. And no Sand, we aren’t asking for everyone’s name and such. That’s y’alls business the same as ours is ours. But, if Kemper is maybe running out of supplies, if maybe he’s pulled too many people under his umbrella of protection …?” I looked at Thor for support of my theory.

“Certainly possible Hon. If he thought the town and surrounding area was his to pick from and we infiltrated his territory then we’d be considered a threat.”

Still thinking out loud I said, “But none of the houses we’ve been into have had much.” I intentionally left out a couple of the big finds we had made. “Mostly just seasonings and a few staples here and there. Same for the restaurants and food places in town. And the mice and the rats are taking the feed as we are standing here. Those thousands of mice at the dairy that came pouring out of the silo gave me nightmares … nasty dirty little boogers. And the dogs are taking out the livestock.”

Johnson said, “We’re all having trouble with our livestock and those danged dogs. We shoot ‘em when we can now. People have tried to catch ‘em and train ‘em but once they go feral you might as well forget it. They stay too mean and the idea of livestock being food is too ingrained. And it isn’t just dogs … we’ve had trouble with bears, bobcats, foxes … and Coach swears he saw a cougar.”

Stro muttered, “Still not as bad as the llamas.”

The water Thor had just swallowed tried to go down the wrong pipe. As soon as he finished spitting and wheezing he asked, “Llamas?!”

Sand smiled, “There was an outfit not too far from here that offered llama treks through the Smokies. We think they escaped from there.” Then he sobered a bit, “At least we haven’t run into anything really strange yet. We had a guy come through here from Richmond that said the Metro Zoo had a mass break out of their animals after they ran out of food in their habitats. He said some of the animals got killed by the big predators in the park before that food source ran out but that from anywhere between twenty-five and fifty percent of the park animals had gone on the lamb.”

I hadn’t even thought of that and said so. “I’m surprised hungry people haven’t killed most of the zoo animals.”

Sarah said, “I’m sure a lot of them have but maybe the Greenies kinda helped things along some or moved them to secure areas.”

I rolled my eyes. “Sarah, don’t take this the wrong way ‘cause the Greenies have proven themselves to be dangerous … but they seem to have a very narrow command level and when that isn’t present the troops seem to fall apart fast. It was like somebody turned lemmings into terrorists and then when there wasn’t anyone smart enough to lead them in the right direction they either all jumped over the cliff or ran around like chickens with their heads cut off … doing damage but nothing like if they had an organizer around to channel their energy. It isn’t the Greenies that are the real boogie men but the Twelvers that used them to put their own plans into effect.”

She wasn’t done being upset with me and said, “And you know this for a fact.”

“You believe what you want to believe Sarah Ann, you’ve always been like that. I’m telling you from being a GWB and from what I’ve experienced while I was away from home … including another nasty run in with some Greenies out west …” It hurt to remember the battle at the farm, even all these months later.

Thor stepped closer, offering me comfort. He said, “Look, let’s just get the clean up started and over with. Arguing who was the bigger a@@ in this conflict serves no purpose at this time.”

I took a deep breath to clear the unhealthy feelings away and nodded. “If there’s time after we do what needs doing, and y’all are still around, you can ask all the questions you want.” What I didn’t say is that I was reserving the right to not answer what I didn’t want to answer.

Thor and I started off into the trees but Stro stopped us, “You don’t gotta do it by yourselves. If you two take that ‘un then we’ll divide up and deal with the rest of ‘em and bring all the gear and stuff into the clearing and we’ll split it … assuming you want to share it.”

Thor looked at me with a cocked eyebrow and I shrugged, not objecting. Then he glanced at Sand and a look passed between them before he nodded. We resumed our walk into the woods towards the man I had been trying to identify earlier. When we got there we methodically stripped the corpse right down to the clothes and then covered it was with leaves and fallen limbs. While we did this I asked, “What was the look?”

Thor no longer felt the need to hide things from me so his reply was truthful and direct. “Sand and I agreed to split the material from the IEDs fifty-fifty. That stands. Not too much else of interest though some of it is useful enough. And don’t worry about having to split it too even; Sand didn’t say outright but they’ve got some people that are really hurting.”

“Why? The whole town has been theirs to salvage for months now … all the houses in the area too.”

Thor shook his head. “Like I said, nothing was said outright but it seems they are just now getting anything close to the start of organizing. People have just been making do or getting by; too afraid to go into the town or the houses because of the spread of that infection that swept through here. The greenies … they were more organized, kept them off their game, kept them penned into the outlying areas even if they had been inclined in the beginning to do some salvaging. You have to remember it wasn’t the immediate catastrophic event that it was in a lot of places out west; here it took longer and resources were used up without being replaced. They were busier trying to keep and maintain what they already had and less able to go out and find new or replacement resources.”

“Probably knowing their neighbors made it harder to just go in and take things too.”

“Yeah, he sounded pretty outraged at that Kemper’s group for doing it so quickly. I was willing to give them the benefit of the doubt until they pulled this. Just wanting to survive is no crime, setting IEDs to kill people with no notice is. You’ll need to give me what intel you can on this Kemper.”

“Well, Dad didn’t care for him much. Called him arrogant and a slick willy type. It wasn’t an open feud or anything, just Dad wouldn’t do business with him; he upset Dad and Mom a couple of times by saying the town should get up money to help take care of me, like I was some kind of accident that needed cleaning up and hiding away. Mr. Kemper owned the only Laundromat around and kinda stuck it to the tourists and hikers that came through. Dad said he talked out of both sides of his mouth and took people in, like he had too much experience doing it. Mom just thought he was a do-gooder that tried to control things too much so that it was only his brand of ‘good’ getting done. She and Mrs. Kemper were both in the Quilting Guild friends of a sort I guess.” As a memory flitted across my mind I pulled a face.

Thor wanted to know, “What was that about?”

I laughed, though it was a world weary sound. “I heard Mrs. Kemper tell her daughter once to be more lady-like or she’d wind up like that unfortunate Charbonneau girl.” Thor rumbled but I told him, “She’s not the only one I heard say stuff like that. I had a bad habit of listening in on conversations I had no business listening in on. You never hear anything good about yourself doing that. People forgot I wasn’t as mentally challenged as they’d thought I’d been when I was small. They just sort of didn’t see me … I was like the furniture. And let’s be honest, when we don’t think other people are listening we tend to say things that we wouldn’t otherwise. That’s just life.”

We’d finished bundling up everything and Thor turned me and wrapped me in his arms. “I wish I could deny what you’re saying but I’d only be lying. I know people are people but I promise they won’t do that while I’m around.”

With a smile I told him, “I know that. But thanks for saying it aloud.” A quick kiss and then we hauled everything back to the fire ring. I hadn’t quite managed to get the satisfied look off my face as we walked in and Sarah Ann at least took it the wrong way.

“You’ve been doing this a lot then? Is this a good haul?” she asked.

Kinda blindsided I stumbled, “Uh …”

Thor snorted impatiently, “Ms. Winkle I don’t want to offend you for Rochelle’s sake but crank it back a bit.”

Sarah, finally took her foot out of her mouth and said, “Call me Sarah and don’t mind my mouth. It gets ahead of the rest of me sometimes. You two just seem too … I don’t know … comfortable with this and that makes me uncomfortable.”

This time it was Sand who said repressively, “Sarah.”

I took matters in hand and said, “Well if that is all it is then why not just come right out and say that. You know good and well I’m not that easily offended.”

It was Stro rather than Sarah that said, “OK. Fine. You’re different than you used to be. What made you get that way?”

While Sand and Thor organized what had been brought in from those that had tried to attack us and looked over it the amount and condition of everything, I told a very trimmed down version of my story from the night in San Francisco until today. Sarah was silent after I had finished but the boys all thought it was a hoot of a story despite the fact I hadn’t meant any of it to be funny. To them it was an adventure, and one that had – at least in their opinion – ended well. Kind of like a guy’s version of “and they lived happily ever after.”

Amazingly it had taken me an hour to tell the tale and we all needed to head ‘em up and move ‘em out. Sarah needed to make a pit stop before they got on the trail and given all that had happened I followed her to the compost toilets and acted as guard.

She came out gagging although they didn’t smell as bad as they sometimes did during the summer. Talking to no one I asked, “I wonder who will clean them out now?”

After spitting into the bushes Sarah said, “Uncle Freeman said that he planned to come out during one of the thaws after the new year and see what he could do. He wants to put it on a couple of fields that are on their fourth year rotation. They were due to go fallow anyway.”

“Lordy that is going to stink.”

“Can’t be any worse than all of that rotted horse bedding at that vet place near Konnarock. Gag, that was awful.” He washed her mouth out but when I tried to walk her back to Sand she stopped me with a hand on my arm.

“I’m sorry Rocky. Tell your Thor … well, you know how I am.” I nodded and told her not to worry about it, Thor’s skin was even thicker than mine. “Be that as it may I don’t want to start off on the wrong foot.” Then she gave me a searching look. “Are you sure you’re OK? The boys might think it was a good story but I can read between the lines.”

I tried to be as honest as I could. “Sarah, I’m not the same person I was … for a lot of different reasons. But there’s still a lot of the old me in here too. I’ve just … been forced to grow up. Sometimes it’s hard to remember I’m just eighteen but that is the way it used to be in the old days. Girls just married young. But … not to offend you or anything but I don’t want to wind up like that just yet.” I pointed briefly at the pregnancy she couldn’t hide.

“You need to talk to Granny C then.”

I asked kind of embarrassed, “You don’t know anything about it?”

“Good grief no. I was trying for the opposite result. Sand and I have been at it like forever. I was almost afraid to believe it when I realized I was late. Are you afraid that … you know … genetics and all that …”

“Huh?” I asked. When I figured out what she meant, “No, not really. My size is mostly from the tumor they got rid of. I had an aunt with similar problems but instead of up she grew out if you know what I mean. My genetic milkshake mostly seemed to just make me better handle the extra size … my heart is healthy, my bones are dense, my lungs are good. And besides, Thor is bigger than I am and …” Then I noticed it … the forest had gotten quiet again.
 

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 75

“Rocky …”

“Hush Sarah Ann. Get low and stay out of my line of sight.” I did a three-sixty trying to figure out what the threat was. Then my nose started singing; I thought “oh crud” as I smelled a dead funky odor kind that was kind of fishy, musky, and just generally nasty all at the same time. It wasn’t the outhouses though the smell wasn’t too far different. We weren’t too far from the river and I thought maybe it was something from that direction. Then I thought maybe it was some sick critter or a bear but bears are part of nature, living with it rather than against it The quiet just didn’t make sense; I’d never known a bear to scare the woods quiet.

“Rocky …” Sarah suddenly hissed, terrified.

Sarah, for all of her frou-frou ways wasn’t one to just sound terrified for no reason. I turned at her call to see off in the bushes something coming our way. It was people … sorta. And no I’m not talking about zombies though I will admit that it flashed through my mind for a half a second but that is about all that it did. Things were bad, but they weren’t B Horror Movie bad.

“Rocky … they’re infected,” Sarah whispered. “You can’t let them get near us! They’ll do it on purpose … the virus does something to their brains and makes them crazy … angry. It is spread by body fluids; Doc Sims said that it is even in their sweat. Please … please … ”

“O – kay. Don’t fall to pieces on me Sarah, not yet. Infected with what and why are they …”

I never got to get my answers, at least not then. The crazies charged even though they could see I had a bead on one of them with my rifle. I was able to shoot one but the other dodged and went straight for Sarah. There wasn’t room to take another shot as fast as the guy was moving … diving at Sarah; totally crazy stuff like he was itching to die at my hands. One step and then I was using my rifle like a baseball bat. I’m fast but the guy was desperate to take someone to hell with him. I missed his head but caught him solidly in the ribs knocking him tip over tail. Sarah had been half way into the outhouse and my move gave her time to get all the way in and slam the door shut.

“Rocky, come on, get in here with me!!” she screamed.

I didn’t have time to tell her to save her breath because the one that I had knocked the wind out of had gotten back up and a third and fourth person had joined him. I brought my gun up and prayed that even if I didn’t hit anything the shots would scare them enough that I’d have a little more time.

I think I did hit one of them but by the time the noise was over with … and I realized that I had seen the two new arrivals in front of me but had missed the other five that had been sneaking up from behind … all of the infected people lay twitching on the ground if they had a brain left to twitch with.

Sand yelled, “Sarah!” I pointed to the outhouse while staring at the dead eyes of the face that lay on the top of my boot. And at the large knife that protruded from the woman’s throat.

I looked up to see the ghost white face of my husband searching mine and I said, “I am soooo glad you are as good as you are.”

“Me too.” And then he grabbed me in a bruising embrace while the boys surrounded us facing out in case there were any more crazies in the area.

Sand told us not to touch the bodies, just to leave them lie and when they froze they’d come back and stack them like cord wood and burn them … assuming the animals left anything; the disease did not affect any non-human species, not even the scavengers that fed on the dead, and the animals didn’t have any qualms about taking advantage of an additional food source. We went back to the clearing to get away from the smell.

“Every once in a while we still find an enclave of infected travelers but I think it is finally dying out. This is the first one we’ve seen in … what … nearly a month?” Sand asked the boys. Most of them nodded. As an afterthought Sand added, “Although, for some reason a couple of them look familiar.”

Thor asked, mostly because I was still shook up enough that my mouth and brain were on the disconnected side of things, “This is what the greenies released? This is the sickness that took so many off?”

“Yeah. Sick ain’t it? And no, I didn’t mean to make a pun. Now you begin to see why folks around here have a real hatred of anything that might be connected to those eco-freaks. That’s why we keep telling you to be careful of bringing Griffey up.” Thor nodded.

One of the boys that went by the name of Jimmy Ray said, “Relax Sarah, this still ain’t as bad as that time we came up on those hyenas terrorizing that camp full of sick folks. Dang those things stunk. The varmints and the sick people.” He sighed mournfully. “I still wonder if those hyenas would have made good eatin’.”

Thor, for all he was shook up, smiled involuntarily into my hair when I grouched, “Talk about sick. Jimmy Ray I swear you’ll eat anything that doesn’t move faster than you do!”

Jimmy Ray, used to the fact that people were constantly calling him on being a bottomless pit and not caring the slightest, answered, “Well, you try working the fields on only grits and green beans. Even those stink bombs would start looking good.”

Sand said, “Shut up Jimmy Ray, you know you’ve been fed just fine at your uncle’s place. You need to stop eating with your eyes and use some sense. You eat to get full, not to empty a freight container.”

“Yeah, yeah. So say’s you now. But the shelves are getting pretty bare at my uncle’s place and there ain’t nothing much left to hunt. And he won’t slaughter the cows or pigs ‘cause he says we need them for breed stock. So’s anyway, can you eat ‘em?”

Thor said, “Hyenas? I’ve eaten some nasty stuff during my travels but I’d have to be really bad off to eat hyena. They’re scavengers and carrion eaters. I’ve heard that you can eat ‘em but they’re like vultures, or they pick off the old or sick animals to cull the herds naturally. I just wouldn’t take the chance. I’ll eat rat before I’ll eat an animal like this.”

Outraged I blurted out, “Not in my kitchen you won’t!”

Sarah snorted a wet chuckle from where she was sitting and I pulled out of Thor’s arms and went over to her. “You OK?”

“Oh I’m fine now. I think though that I would like to go home and lay down; too much excitement isn’t good for Junior.”

It didn’t take long for things to break up after that but when we separated from the others, takin a different road than the main group, Stro and Lawson worked their way around and met us on our way to the farm. Thor didn’t know what to make of it but I figured they had something on their minds … something that they didn’t want to say in front of the others.

It was Stro that started things off, “Thor … look, about our Dad … you seem like you was military or something.”

“Something,” he confirmed.

“Yeah, thought so. And look, sorry for starting off on the wrong foot.” Thor nodded and Stro continued. “Dad … Dad does have PTSD. It …” he looked around carefully before lowering his voice. “He just isn’t as bad off as he was back at the massacre but he says to leave people thinking he is. His leg ain’t racked up either. He’s doing recon on Kemper and his people.”

Lawson was nervous and worried. I could tell he wasn’t real sure about telling us but Stro seemed to have strong armed him into it. “Lawson?” I asked.

“Look, if Stro says it’s the right thing to tell you then I trust him. He’s like Dad and Grandad with stuff like that. But man, you can’t tell anybody Rocky; not even Sand knows. But with what happened today … what if someone is trying to set Dad up? And them sick people? Where’d another group come from after so much time has passed?”

Stro nodded, “Yeah. We just want someone else to know Dad isn’t crazy. And also, wanted to tell you that Dad has been thinking the same thing you are … that Kemper is running out of supplies and things that will keep his people happy. We think at first he was feeding ‘em from some kind of stockpile he had … or stuff he stole from someplace … because they never put in any big fields or nothing. They stole a big fuel truck from some place because he had enough … at least until recently … to keep those big generators he salvaged from the quarry up and running. It was like they were all just waiting for the government or them FEMA ijits to show up and fix things … make him mayor or something. I think he thought someone was going to appoint him to some kind of public office … like the ones he never won when he ran in town. It obviously ain’t turning out that way so now he’s having to change his plans only I ain’t sure if he can pull it off.”

“Yeah, and Dad says that it might be a bigger mess for the rest of us if it turns out he can’t.”

Thor nodded, “I’ll agree with that. It could mean people desperate enough to turn into bandits or groups turning into raiders, something that would be a severe hardship here in the winter. There may be some of that anyway but you don’t want your own community turning on you.”

Lawson was still nervous and Stro still had that determined look on his face which told me the revelations weren’t finished. I prompted them to finish by saying, “Stro …”

“Yeah Rocky, I know you know me same as out on the field. Wish I could find a real girl that understood me like that.” I nearly kicked him for the “real girl” comment but I let it slide when he took a deep breath. “Dad has a working radio.”

Thor perked up at that but let Stro decide when he was going to continue. “Anyway, I just thought … Dad said he saw Mr. Griffey carting off some radios that those eco-freaks had stashed. I mean, say if you found them and you like could talk to Dad and set something up, it might be worth everyone’s while. We’ve listened to the one we have … Dad was a local dispatcher for emergency services but before that he was the tech guy for the local radio station went belly up and he knows his stuff. There isn’t a bunch of talking going on but there is some. And late at night he can sometimes pick up some that are talking all foreign.”

Finally Lawson was looking at Thor expectantly and to be honest so was I. “I’m not getting in the middle of things. I’m a stranger around here and even with Rocky vouching for me I’ll be the first neck on the chopping block if something blows up. You get with your dad, see if he wants to meet me, we’ll go from there.”

“That’s cool,” Lawson said, relief obvious on his face to have this part over. But Stro was starting to look nervous because I expect he knew that it was going to be up to him to explain to his dad why he let the cat out of the bag. “We are going to be back in town tomorrow. I know it is short notice but maybe you could come then. Just for a minute to see if Dad agreed to meet you. We’ll be up here early in the day because we got a list of stuff that Dad wants to hunt up over at the electrical supply and the earlier we are up the fewer people that might see him acting normal. We get power for the radio using solar panels he swiped off the highway signs and off some of them real expensive cabins up along the ridge. Maybe he can set you up too.”

Thor sent the guys home before it got any later and we needed to get home for chores as well. We were both quiet for a while and then I asked, “Thor?”

“You’re fine Rochelle.”

“Maybe I should sleep …”

“No. I said you’re fine. You didn’t touch that woman, she didn’t spit on you, we left the area asap. And you were wearing gloves.”

Still scared despite his determined answer I said, “I just hope that the infected people didn’t sabotage the outhouse.”

Thor’s eyes bored into mine, “Did you …?”

“No. Didn’t need to. Public bathrooms gross me out; I’d rather go in the woods. But Sarah did.”

“She was wearing gloves too,” he reminded me.

“Yeah, I know. But it has to be going through her and Sand’s head. And it makes me wonder even more if we should discontinue salvaging until winter has a chance to finish the job that the greenies started.”

Thor nodded, “We’ll certainly take more precautions. I haven’t a clue what that infection started out as. It looks like plague but plague is a bacteria. It could be small pox but the sores are too big for that maybe. The sores around their mouths look like herpes … like giant cold sores.”

I struggled to swallow the spit in my mouth imagining “death by herpes.” I nudged my horse over to the side of the road where the foliage and weeds had started to close in before the ice storm had killed everything back to give myself time to stop being grossed out. “What about leprosy?”

Thor nodded, “Yeah, that’s a possibility but it is a bacteria also. I’m wondering if Griffey wasn’t wrong about it being a virus on top of the other things he has been wrong about. What are you doing?”

I shrugged, still uncomfortable with talking about Uncle Bentley. I still wasn’t sure just how to feel about the man beyond have pity for someone who obviously had led a hard life as a child and let it warp his brain his whole life. Then I had another thought.

“I’m picking some sumac berries. The next bad storm will likely knock the rest of them off and to the ground.” As I used my pocket knife to take the berry cluster and then put them into a rucksack that I had brought for just-in-case I asked, “What if it was a virus that played heck with someone’s metabolism or their immune system? That would be right up the alley of those quacks that helped create us GWBs.”

Thor’s expression was concerned as he told me, “Hon … let it go for now. You are upsetting yourself worse for nothing. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

I wasn’t going to let him get away with it. “Thor I’m not a child. We need to talk about it so that we can … operative word here is we … can plan some kind of defense against it in case it does become a problem.”

We had reached the gate and when I went to get down Thor motioned me to let him do it. I could tell his arm was a little sore but he stood there just looking at the gate for a while. “One thing is for sure, we need to figure out some way to tell if the gate has been messed with when we aren’t around.”

We finally entered, locking the gate behind us, and then went off to do our chores. The weather became brisk enough that we were both glad to lock down the house for the night and fritter some time away working on projects around the house. I was going to help Thor with the stuff down in the basement closet but the space was too limited for both of us to be in the little room at the same time. I was also at the point of being very frustrated with it and Thor said just to let him have some quiet time to see if he couldn’t figure it out. That was just a polite way of say, “Go away kid, you’re making me nervous.”

For my part, I had decided it was time that I took a more active approach to our food supplies and started planning what to do come spring and how to make the best use of what we hade so that it would last through the winter and feed us up right. First I set some of the dried sumac berries to making syrup. The rest I hung near the stove to make sure they finished drying the rest of the way before I popped them in some airtight jars for later use. After that I played let’s-run-face-first-into-the-next-memory by going over to the room Mom used as her craft room and office. Once there I started pulling out her recipe files.

Dad had carved these very pretty recipe boxes which fit three-by-five index cards like normal recipe file boxes only there were really long like those draws in the old paper index catalogs the library had before they went online. I nearly knocked myself out when I slapped my forehead and hastily made a note to check the school and public libraries the next day if there was time. I skipped over the boxes marked “Church Suppers & Potlucks,” “Canning & Preserving,” and “Brews & Liquors” though I knew I’d be coming back to them sooner rather than later and went straight to the three file boxes marked “Herbs & Forage.” One of those boxes was marked Spring & Summer and the second one was marked Autumn & Winter.

Mom was slick; each season had its own section and within each section it was broken down into the different types of recipes – appetizers, beverages, breads, cakes, desserts, fish, meats, salads, soups, and on and on. Now the third recipe box was not broken down into the type of recipe but by the main ingredient – cress, wild roses, dandelions, acorns, plantain, sumac, etc., etc., etc. Mom would never have made these up for herself because she grew up this way; it was just natural to her. She made these for me and I suppose I would need to share them with Sarah as well in some way. I added index cards to my list of “wants.” Or I thought maybe a typewriter as I saw a light flicker to life in the stairwell that led to the basement.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 76

“Thor!!”

“Yeah, yeah … don’t get too happy yet. And do me a favor and run around and double check that everything is turned off. I don’t want to overload …” He finished on a curse as the lights went out again.

“Um …”

Some growling and snarking and then he said, “I’m not sure. I think … think mind you … that it was a lightning strike. Even though your dad took the house off line and had everything well grounded, there’s only so much you can do about a direct strike. Looks like that’s what fried the main breaker and not the EMP because nothing was connected to send the pulse through … not to mention this room feels like a freaking Faraday cage.”

“What’s a …”

“Don’t worry about it.” At my affronted look he sighed and said, “Not my best at the moment Hon. This electronic stuff was something I always gave to Alfonso. Teach me to over specialize. Suffice it to say that a Faraday Cage was something that was supposed to protect electronic gear from EMP damage. And suffice it to say it would be better if we simply replaced the entire panel box, breakers and all, and start from fresh.”

“Will they have it? At the place in town I mean.”

“Yeah, and I had considered getting one and didn’t …” he sighed again. “Which is why I’m so foul. One is none and two is one. Just run around before it gets too dark and make sure all the switches are off … and tape ‘em off. I don’t know about you but out of habit I still catch myself trying to turn on a switch when I go into a room.”

I smiled a little and said, “Guilty as charged. And why don’t you just give this stuff up for a while and take a break. It’s waited this long, it can wait some longer. Besides, don’t we have better things to do?”

“Huh?” he grunted as he was moving stuff around in the small space.

“Well … I could … um … use a little help … you know … washing my hair,” I blushed.

Now that got him to pay attention. “I would be most pleased to render such assistance Beautiful … but I might get … distracted.

Giving him some of his own back I said, “I’m counting on it.”

Now that’ll put a man in high gear and it wasn’t long before the night became more pleasant for both of us. Afterwards I tried to tell him about Mom’s recipe boxes but he kinda started snoring in the middle of it so I gave up and decided we could both use a little extra sleep since we had to be up and out very early to get to town.

------------------------------------

“Hmmm,” Thor mumbled.

“Thor you know we really need to take it. So long as we don’t load the wagon down, and don’t take it into the orchard, we should be fine. If it was the other end of town I wouldn’t be saying it.”

“What’s different about the other end of town?” he asked me.

“They have more of a clay pan and water doesn’t drain as well. That’s why most of the oldest farms are on this end.”

“Makes me wonder why people didn’t take over the older farms.”

I nodded as I harnessed my horse to the wagon while Thor held the lantern since his shoulder was a little sore from our rather … er, spirited … activities the preceding evening. “You would have thought. We still haven’t heard just who has survived and who has not. If none of the real old timers made it then no one may have thought to take over the farms. Plus, no doubt you’ve noticed, some of the farms aren’t the easiest to get to and the houses are … well, they’re old and some of ‘em are pretty beat up as the younger generations moved away and the older folks were just content to live like they’d always done. Jimmy Ray’s uncle has a nice little place but if he’s having trouble too it might have discouraged some of the others from trying to have more than a kitchen garden.”

“That’s a mistake … and one some people will be paying for right when they can least afford to.” He stopped me and by the way he put his arm around me he was about to be pretty serious. “Hon, I need to know and I want you to think about it before you answer me, is there anyone you couldn’t stand to watch starve over the winter.”

“What?!” I turned around and looked at him.

“We can’t help everyone. We might not be able to help anyone. But … but I figure if it comes down to it there are some you won’t be able to turn away for any reason. On the other hand, who you want to help may determine how many we can help … assuming we can.”

Trying to be honest I said, “You’re talking about Jimmy Ray.”

“You said it, not me.”

“Don’t even bother trying to keep a straight face. Jimmy Ray … for a lot of reasons … wouldn’t be at the top of my list. Geez that sounds so cold-blooded.”

I could see Thor was trying not to handle me with kid gloves and I appreciated it, especially as he said, “Not cold-blooded … realistic. He doesn’t strike me as someone particularly familiar with the trait of gratitude.”

“He’s not quite that bad … but his folks had some money and he does have a mouth that gets away from him. Aside from being a bottomless pit – he’s never really had to do without – he can’t keep a secret. Coach nearly kicked him off the team because he kept talking about our plays with players from other teams. On the other hand, he once stepped in and KO’d a tourist because he’d come to ‘take pictures of a living bigfoot’ for his college newspaper and kept pestering me to pose for him. When you’re on his team that’s just the bottom line for Jimmy Ray.”

“Pictures of a what?! I’m suddenly a little more fond of ol’ Jimmy Ray.”

I laughed because I couldn’t help it despite the serious topic. “Relax. All the guys were like that. Well, most of the ones that lasted were. Coach didn’t put up with much and there were a couple of families that yanked their sons off the team on principle.”

“And then begged to get them put back on when they saw the team going to the playoffs?”

I smiled, “Something like that.” Then the smile melted and I sighed, something I seemed to be doing a lot of lately. “Put Sarah at the top of that list. Sand and Johnson will starve to death before they see her go without but I’d rather not put their family under that kind of stress. They looked like they were doing OK, but Sand … he’s smart and probably started some salvaging before the others. Maybe even before his parents and Sarah knew it. There were twin sisters between Sand and Johnson but they died when Johnson was so little he barely remembers them. They both caught some kind of staph infection when they were first born and the damage it did eventually killed them though I don’t know all of the details. That’s one of the reasons why Mr. and Mrs. Winkle took to Sarah so hard so fast.”

“OK, Sarah Winkle. Anyone else?”

Wondering if he would get angry I said, “I already explained about … about Stro. If he gets the baby or Janie back from Kemper I’d say we could do something for him.”

I heard a little rumble in his throat but all he said was, “Think careful before you add anyone else to the list. We’ll need to prioritize and that’s only after we make sure we have sufficient to get through to spring ourselves.”

That reminded me of the recipe boxes, “There might be another way to help folks.” A cocked eyebrow from Thor while he tied on his saddle bags had me explaining, “Come the first thaw and green sprouts there will be edibles in the woods. Most of our Venture Crew were proficient in foraging … between Dad and Mom we didn’t stand a chance to be otherwise … and we even had entire camping trips devoted to foraging to supplement a few meager rations we would bring with us. You spend most of your time and energy searching for food if you completely rely on plant forage but with a little hunting and fishing you can survive on it. Ramps in late March and April spring to mind though if we eat a lot of them we might have a rash of domestic violence on our hands.”

“OK, you lost me.”

Being as serious as I could I explained, “Think of the results of eating a lot of a combination of onions and beans.”

After a second he started laughing. “Yeah, or suddenly everyone feels the need to spend some alone time.”

“That too,” I laughed in agreement, finally giving way to the giggles I was holding in. Dad loved ramps but there were days I drug my feet coming home from school knowing what was waiting. We both led our animals from the barn at that point and headed off.

We had good road bed most of the way; only two spots had places that I worried about and both of them I could easily drive around. It was slow going because when we started out it was still fairly dark and was just barely light when we got to the outskirts of town. We headed over to the supply house and got what we needed and put it undercover in the wagon before doing any more salvaging. Thor and I were just beginning to think that Mr. Hefling had decided against the meeting when I heard the distinctive whistle call that Dad had taught our crew.

“Thor?”

“I heard it. Take it slow and steady. I don’t want to walk into an ambush.”

I wanted to deny that any of those boys would do that to me but in all honesty I couldn’t. The times were changing and it was possible that the people right along with them. A second whistle told me that there were five people with him.

“For some reason Stro says there are five people total and I didn’t hear Lawson whistle.”

“Tickling your funny bone?”

“Yeah. Cover me and let me go on in first?”

“I …,” a grunt and then “All right. You owe me some happy time for this. And if you aren’t careful …”

He let his threat hang in the air. He didn’t really mean it, it was just his way of expressing his dislike of what made the most sense under the circumstances. I took the long way around from Thor’s position and came up to the group from the opposite side. I didn’t like things any better up close.

Stro was alone and stressed out though the stress wouldn’t have shown to most people. His eyes were telling me things none of the men around him realized. There were several reasons why Stro and I understood each other and it had a lot to do with practice. He was linebacker to my defensive tackle. We worked hand-in-glove. It wasn’t always about sacking the quarterback; sometimes those slippery running backs and wide receivers needed to be caught in our net too.

“Stro! What’s up man?”

He spit and I saw pink; he’d busted his mouth … or had it busted for him. “Nuthin’.”

“Lawson around?”

“Somewhere. He and Dad are together.”

“Cool. They coming?”

He just shrugged. One of the other men, a man I knew from the highschool alumni association. “Aren’t you going to say hello Rocky?” the man asked casually and a little too friendly.

“Hello Mr. Cockrill. I wasn’t sure if you’d … you know … want me to say anything.”

“Aw, that’s the past.” He had been one of the dads that had yanked their kid off the team and then gotten mad when he couldn’t get him back on and had to be satisfied with Junior Varsity when the Varsity team slots had been filled. “Heard you’d done found yourself a man, the protective type too if the story is true.”

Now if that wasn’t a way to turn something bass-akwards I hadn’t heard it. If you listened you understood he didn’t know whether to believe the stories or not because he’d never expected me to ‘find myself a man’ much less one that was protective of me. I smiled and said, “He’s around. He knows what I’m capable of and never sells me short.” There, take that you ol’ ring tailed skunk.

Then one of the other men, one that definitely didn’t understand the slow movement of southern conversation got impatient and asked, “Well, where is he then?”

“I don’t have a tracking device on him. Don’t know how you work things with your missus but my husband is a grown man, not a dog, and will come in when he’s ready and not when called.” That got a snort of laughter from Stro and one of the other men and a really dirty look from the speaker letting me know I’d pegged him right. The guy had wuss written all over him.

One of the last two men who hadn’t said anything to this point said, “Rocky … that’s your name right?” I nodded, and I took my measure of this man. I wasn’t sure what to make of him as he was different. “We need to talk business so there’s no misunderstandings from here on out.”

“Misunderstanding about what?”

“You’ve been pinching our supplies.”

My eyebrows shot up to my bandana. My, my but he was direct. “If by pinching you mean stealing … we haven’t stolen a doggone thing from anyone.”

“You’ve been taking things from the town.”

“And I’m a resident of this town. There’s no one left in charge here … no law enforcement, no military, no local government of any type, heck I haven’t even seen a teacher from the schools … and everything is being left to deteriorate in the weather or being eat up by all the mice and rats that are taking over the buildings now that they are unoccupied.”

He shook his head, “I’d prefer to discuss this with someone older and …”

“If that is a crack about Thor being a little older than me you’re speaking about something you don’t having any business commenting on.”

“So his name is … Thor? What is his real name?”

“That is his name … or the only one I’ve ever known him to answer to anyway,” I said with another smile. “What’s your name?”

“Gerald Randall Clive.”

Ah … now I was getting the feel for him. Gerald … not Jerry … and all three names. Mr. Clive thought a rather lot of himself … and might have some reason to … but that arrogance would still cost him.

“Well Mr. Clive I don’t know you from Adam. You aren’t a resident of this town, only a tourist at best. You haven’t shown me any documentation proving you are anything at all really. You aren’t my boss … and you certainly aren’t my better.”

Struck a nerve. “Listen you little …” he ground out and then with effort he reigned himself in. Score a measure of a point for ol’ Jerry boy. “You don’t seem to understand the magnitude of your errors. There is a party in power in this area and …”

“Ah … I see. Someone thinks they are somehow a feudal lord. Whoever it is isn’t doing a very good job of it. These supplies should have been secured months ago. There has been an amazing amount of waste that can’t be gained back. Other towns have long ago organized and disseminated the resources that remain so that everyone can get through the coming winter. Looks like whoever is playing at lord of the mountain is incompetent at best and criminally stupid at worst.”

The next man to speak asked, “What makes you such an expert?”

“I’ve travelled thousands of miles across this country to get home. I’ve seen things Mr. ..?”

“Bart … just call me Bart.”

“Well Bart, I’ve seen things … both good and bad … saint like behavior to behavior that brought demons to mind. I’ve seen just how little government of any sort is left anywhere. If there is any federal government left … and there is no guarantee of that as far as I’ve experienced … they are probably doing nothing but trying to do the same thing as we should be doing right now instead of standing around jawing. Winter is coming, time’s a wasting, and resources are disintegrating before our eyes. No family will be able to survive the coming hard times alone on their own. And no tyrants will live to see the good times come back around. The time of the tyrant is over. No one will stand for such a person for long. Those that want to be leaders need to learn that leaders are nothing but servants to those they lead. Those that don’t want to be leaders need to get out of the way before they are run over or gunned down.”

The man Bart seemed to be thinking which is more than I could say for the other three with him. In fact Mr. Clive was highly affronted. “Now see here young … er … lady.”

I laughed out loud at his hesitation. “Cost you something to say that didn’t it?”

Then the gloves really came off, “Listen you freak of nature, you will do what you’re told or …”

I never did find out what my punishment would have been. A shotgun blast tore what was left of the morning apart. The blast was followed by a piercing whistle from Lawson and then Stro broke loose and starting whooping the tar out of Mr. Cockrill who was no small man himself. I saw the wuss-man take off running at the same time that No-name and Gerald Randall Clive brought their guns up. Expecting this possibility I’d left my holster unsnapped and had gotten pretty fast at drawing and shooting accurately with it thanks to Thor’s constant badgering on the subject. I still preferred my rifle but at close range the hand gun was much better.

The man called Bart had faded into a store. Cockrill was down and wouldn’t be getting up when Stro said, “There was another group …”

Mr. Hefling came from around the building and threw wuss-man down with a hole in a place that said he had answered for his shortcomings in a more immediate way. “Where’s the other one?” he asked gruffly.

A voice from the door way office space said, “The other one is in here and he’d really like not to get shot since he’d really not like to go back to Kemper’s at all since those folks seem to be losing their minds a handful of brain cells at a time.”

The man was sweating bullets but seemed like he deserved a chance. As Thor came up with Lawson beside him I said, “Mr. Hefling? He said his name was Bart … just Bart … and he seems like he might have some sense.”

When Bart cautiously stuck his head around the door he said, “I like to think so and I might have some info you folks would be interested in. I tell you, you let me head on out of town. I’m from Volney and want to go back and check to see if any of my family made it.”

Thor said, “Kinda late to be traveling.”

“I have a bike and some supplies stashed not far from here. I’ve been biding my time, trying to get away with a woman … well, never mind about that since she chose someone else … but I’ve got what I need and the bike will speed me on my way.”

Mr. Hefling said, “I’ve seen you a few times. You stopped McElroy from pounding on those kids who were fishing.”

Bart’s eyes widened but he nodded.

“What’s your intel then?”

“Let’s not stand out in the open in case they have a spotter on us.”

“Two … and had not have,” was all Thor said.

Again Bart’s eyes widened but Mr. Hefling gave a respectful nod. Bart then told us, “Things are going to hell in a hand basket at Kemper’s place. There had been too many people so two weeks ago he split the group up and about a third of them were sent to this other ritzy bunch o’ cabins a couple of miles away. Everything was fine for about a week and then bam … they took a group of people in that had shown up.”

I asked, “Infected?”

“How did you know?”

Mr. Hefling said, “Don’t you worry about that just finish it.”

“Kemper forbid everyone from speaking about that second group – not even names. We’ve had some attacks from the sick and dying who threatened to name Kemper as the one who infected them. Kemper didn’t want anyone around to associate us with them so he and a couple of the men he is calling his lieutenants planned to stage some things. He sent out a group yesterday but they didn’t come back and most everyone thinks they ran off.”

Thor said, “Is that it?”

Bart shook his head no. “You’re woman there has the right of it. Kemper ain’t got the sense to manage his way out of a paper sack … not long term … not enough to set up a permanent town or colony or anything like that. It was his wife that managed everything all nice and neat. When she died …”

“Mrs. Kemper is …?”

“Dead? Yeah. Food poisoning or appendix, we ain’t got a doctor so we didn’t know which for sure. And that’s another thing. It was because of Kemper that we don’t have a doc. Instead of holding back the valuable people he said everyone had to help with the manual labor. Guy wasn’t in any shape to be doing what he was being asked to do and he had a heart attack.” He paused and then looked around like he was checking to make sure it was safe to continue. “Supplies are real short too. They split the food when they split the group and the stuff that went with the smaller group is pretty well contaminated now … either with the virus or because the smaller group destroyed it out of spite.”

I glanced between Thor and Mr. Hefling but then looked at Stro who whispered to me, “The infected people get real mean as soon as the sores start breaking open. I saw where a man burnt his house down just so his wife wouldn’t get anything from it … including any of the pictures of their kids that he took with him when he went.”

I made a face at the imagery … and at the madness that seemed to take the infected. “Sounds like they have sores on their brains as well as on the outside of their bodies.”

Lawson said, “That’s what Doc Sims thinks too but he said it was too dangerous to autopsy any of them.”

“Senseless too since it wouldn’t have helped to save anyone,” he father added. With a glance at Thor Mr. Hefling told the man named Bart, “Go on … git. I would hit the road as soon as you can. If I was Kemper I’d expect a report fairly soon and if I didn’t get one I’d send some more folks out.”

Bart said, “I’m not sure Kemper has that much sense. Clive here was one of his top guys … and there’d been a few whispers about him taking over from Kemper if things didn’t start going right. Cockrill here was bucking for control too. I think that is why Kemper was putting them out in the field so much to get them away from the main body of people.”

I asked, “How many people does Kemper have?”

“Had a little over two hundred if you count adults and kids. Had about a hundred and thirty after the group was split. But if the numbers keep trickling down … the folks from yesterday, the kids that got snitched last night, now these guys today …”

“Snatched kids?” Thor asked.

“Yeah, snatched or something worse. Someone came in and took about six of the youngest kids. Nobody knows who but there’s some hysterical women as you can imagine. We’ve had kids snatched before. Everyone thinks it was one of the infected women that had made the threat last week. Of course that means Kemper is refusing to look for the kids because they are probably infected now. It’s a mess and everything is falling apart. Can I go now?”

“Last question,” I said. “Where did Kemper get all of the food to take care of that many people?”

“Supply points that the greenies had before they all died, Walmart trucks, different places like that. But it’s running out now and that just might be the straw that breaks the ol’ camel’s back. There was a lot of grumbling when the meals went from three down to two per day but the meals that are being served these days just ain’t fit to eat and there ain’t much to them … unless you happen to be dining with Mr. Kemper himself. He stills get a full MRE and anyone that sits at his table gets one too … but he only invites the same people over and over rather than taking turns like he used to.”

The men hustled Bart off and when he said his bike and supplies where far he meant it literally. We watched him pedal away as fast as his legs could push. Then we stood around looking at each other for a second before I said, “Stro, you have something to say?”

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 77

“Well Stro?” I asked again when he wouldn’t meet my eyes.

Thor broke the silence my waiting was creating. “Hon, if Strother did what you only suspect he did then he probably thinks you’ll blast him for it. Or maybe he thinks the less you know the better he’s protecting you.”

I snorted. I responded like I was talking to Thor but I was looking dead at Stro. “Well, if that is what he’s thinking he needs to unthink it. One, I don’t need protecting. Two, I don’t want protecting. Three, the only reason I would blast him is for thinking that I wouldn’t give him a chance to explain. Four, if he thinks his reasons are good enough he ought to know I’d want to help. Five …”

Mr. Hefling gave an unwilling chuckle and Lawson looked at his brother and said three of the most irritating words ever spoken. “Told you so.”

Thor hid a smile behind wiping his nose as Stro groaned. I whapped him with one of my gloves. “You are gonna tell me, but I guess it can wait until after we take care of this mess,” I said pointing to the bodies. “And discuss what we learned from Bart.”

Mr. Hefling gave me an approving look and said, “Good girl.” Thor’s hand brushed my hair which was his own silent signal of approval. I wanted to say I’m not letting Stro off the hook but since it would have been obvious I let my raised eyebrow tell the tale.

We took the quickly cooling corpses behind the building and stripped them before putting them in a large dumpster back there. After the last one was dumped in I threw the locking latch to keep animals and the curious out. Clive and Cockrill were better outfitted than the wuss-man or the two spotters than Thor had dealt with. Five dead men meant that each of us salvaged a full complement of gear and ammo.

“Cockrill was a local but these others … I don’t recognize them,” I observed.

Mr. Hefling said, “At first Kemper had a lot of the locals with him but those that were smart got out.” I saw Stro wince and I thought of Janie. “It created some hard feelings and some of the locals
That left Kemper and tried to become part of the community again have moved on rather than deal with their actions. Those locals that remain with Kemper … I got theories.”

Thor said, “We’re listening.”

Mr. Hefling nodded as we started gathering stuff in the supply shop that we’d come for. “I think Kemper keeps ‘em scared and dumb. I’ve overheard some conversations and it seems he has them thinking that all of the free locals have turned against them.”

“You said there were hard feelings,” I told him.

“There are, but Kemper has them thinking … all of his people … that if we see any of them we’d kill ‘em on sight. No parlay, no nothing. That we have it so bad, and that we’re so jealous of what they’ve got with Kemper, that we can’t act reasonable.”

I shrugged, “That is dumb. Seems like a waste of good ammo to me.”

Stro and Lawson gave me a surprised look. I fired at them, “Well … I know what I sound like but it’s true. There’s no gain to it. Now if they were stealing or trying to hurt someone that would be different but anything else is just a waste of time and resources. Being dumb isn’t a crime.”

Stro grumbled, “Even I could argue that one.”

I threw a small spool of wire at him. “Academics isn’t part of this. You’re smarter than a lot of people I’ve met; you’re talents just is with stuff outside the classroom. Too many people get stuck with thinking that the classroom is all there is in this life. The classroom or the office … same thing; lots of people stuffed into a room sitting at a desk doing busy work at least half the time.”

“Mebbe,” he muttered.

“No maybe about it. Mr. Hefling? Seriously, how bad is it between … what did you call ‘em … the free locals and Kemper’s locals?”

“Hard to say Rocky Girl. It ain’t good. Those that left Kemper early on … some run off when they couldn’t face what they did and some stayed and are just making the best of it. The earlier they left Kemper the easier it has been for them to shake off the separation. But by now … don’t know if you could reintegrate many of them. What you got to understand is it was a big deal when everyone realized what was going on. Side were being taken and families were split, marriages broken, young siblings separated. It’ll take a lot of healing to pull this town completely back together. There’s been a lotta pain and there is a lotta resentment for the way things happened. People died because of the way it was handled. And Kemper’s locals … they got more problems than just living Kemper; their homes may not be there to go back to as most if not all of them have been salvaged over pretty roughly and winter is going to make a lot of places uninhabitable as pipes burst and vermin take over.”

That gave me something to think on. I took the food we found on the men – it wasn’t much – and put it together to make a rough stew that I added to the rice I had cooked that morning to bring for Thor and I to eat. The Heflings in turn put in the crackers and pemmican that had been their rations.

“Did pretty good Rocky Girl,” Mr. Hefling said before stuffing another bite into his mouth. The others nodded as they had mouthfuls already.

When the edge of everyone’s hunger had been dulled Thor and Mr. Hefling started talking. I pulled some apples out of the coals that I had baked and it made the men even more comfortable and willing to work together constructively. Men are just build like that. A full belly puts them in a good mood, an empty one leaves them cautious if not downright cranky.

Mr. Hefling, arguably as cautious as Thor, started. “Well the boys told me they let the cat out of the bag.”

Thor nodded and said, “They mentioned something but it doesn’t have to be named again. Either way it doesn’t go any farther.”

Mr. Hefling nodded, “that’s good. Seems like you and I might share some experiences.”

“Seems like,” Thor agreed.

They went back and forth like that and unless you knew what they were talking about you would have been lost and bored. But I knew. Stro and Lawson knew. And we were all excited by the possibilities but doing our best not to let it show by word or expression in case someone was watching or listening. Mr. Hefling palmed a folded paper to Thor during a handshake and I later found out it held frequencies, times, and code words.

We changed subjects from there to talk about the people that were left in the area and I made a few mental notes. We also invited the Heflings, after we had made our way out of town, to come with us to the orchard. It was a job gleaning the last of the apples from the large orchard and I had a feeling this would be the last chance I had. The day had never warmed up and the wind was starting to get an angry bite to it.

After we got there and got to work I said, “Stro …”

He sighed like an old man before telling me the story. “Look Rocky, I just couldn’t let it go. When Lulu was born I promised her I’d take care of her, keep her safe. I didn’t just do it because of Janie. I mean I was right there when Lulu tried to take her first breath. I was the one that took that cord off her throat, cleared that gunk away, blew air into her until the ambulance got there. Me. Like we heard about in Sunday School … God had shown me what one of my purposes in life was to be. It was my job and then made it so I could do it even though I didn’t think I could at the time. Nothing about that has changed. It’s still my job to take care of her. I tried to let Janie go, tried to see her side of it but she … dang it!! Just because it was what was best for Janie didn’t make it best for Lulu!”

Thor was listening too as we all stripped the remaining apples from the tree and put them in the back of the wagon. I put my hand on Stro’s shoulder and said, “Keep goin’ … I’m listening.”

He pulled himself back together and then with utter contempt of the idealistic he said, “I’ve watched Kemper’s group; sometimes with Dad but on my own a lot too trying to get a look at Janie and Lulu. It ain’t right what they do. The ‘soldiers’ of the group get fed first. Next comes the folks that are useful somehow or that are Kemper’s butt kissers. The kids and old folks always get fed last … I’ve seen it Rocky, more than once. And I’ve heard ‘em talking about it afterwards. There’s never enough left when it gets down to the oldest or youngest so they add water to the soup pot. It’s so bad the kids fight amongst themselves, the strongest taking from the weakest and the adults don’t do anything to put a stop to it … they just ignore it; except for the old folks that look scared of some of the kids.” Suddenly he leaned against the trunk of the tree we were under. “I shoulda done it sooner. Oh Rocky … you can see her little bones. She just lays in the bed like she ain’t got the strength to sit up. And … and she barely seems to remember me.”

The horror in his voice was contagious. “The other kids? How do they fit in?”

“They were just stuck in this room with one woman looking after them and another room of kids that still had energy enough to be up and around. Lulu was walking before all this started, now she’s as helpless as when she was first born. I did it. I admit it. I snatched all them kids. But I don’t regret it … their parents weren’t doing the job God gave ‘em.” He cleared his throat. It was hard for him to admit that when it included Janie. “Granny C has already found the other five homes and no one’s talking. A couple of the kids she recognized the families they belonged to and maybe someday they’ll get back with one of their parents if the family gets put back together. Now wouldn’t be a good time for them to try though ‘cause folks are real angry now that they’ve got physical proof of what was only rumor before.” He looked at me and I didn’t know what to say when he spat, “I never thought Janie would let something like this happen. She’s let that guy she’s taken up with destroy a bit of her. The Janie I knew was a momma grizzly … I don’t what she is now but she ain’t fit to have Lulu.”

Mr. Hefling came over, “Son, don’t let that anger eat you up like I did. There’s no profit to it. Be the better man and you ever be afraid to answer Lulu’s questions when she gets old enough to ask ‘em. Count your blessings and pray Janie will come to her sense before it’s too late.”

I looked at Thor who knew what my eyes were asking since he gave a small nod and then told Mr. Hefling, “Fill your packs full of apples.”

“Now see here …”

“Do it for Lulu. And the other little ones too. Granny C will use ‘em to make applesauce with an hopefully they’ll be able to hold that on their stomachs until they’re ready for something more substantial.”

When put to him like that he could agree without it pinching his pride. But I also knew that Granny C – Mr. Hefling’s aunt who raised him and became his de facto mother – would know how to make the best of them for everyone’s sake.

It was with a troubled heart that I drove the wagon back home. “Thor …”

“You’ve done what you can for now. Step back and wait to see how things start to shake out.”

I knew Thor was making sense but he stopped me before I could get a full thought out. “I don’t have a problem doing that. I’m not fool enough to think I can save the world. Remember, I did just finish crossing this country and I saw the same stuff as you did.”

“OK, so I jumped the gun. What’s got you so upset if it isn’t the situation with those kids? I may not have known you as long as your friends but I think in some ways I know you better.”

“Of course you do. And that’s because I let you know me better. And it is in part those kids. But it’s also just all of it. We’ve seen both the good and the bad of how towns can go. I guess … I guess I’m just disappointed in the direction that Damascus took. I expected … more … better I guess you could say out of the people that I grew up around. And I know that sounds really crazy when I’ve seen the backsides of a lot of them with their prejudice – unintended and intended – against me. They had their problems but most of ‘em weren’t bad people … at least as far as I knew or experienced. Damascus wasn’t perfect – especially not for me – but it wasn’t the pits either. What happened? How could everything just fall apart like this?”

Thor nodded, “I’ve seen it before. All it takes is people to stop doing their best, to turn the control of their lives over to someone else, to become dependent to the exclusion of their personal freedoms.”

“Meaning?”

“The eco-terrorism created the stressor. It made cracks in the façade of people that only appeared strong. Then you add to that the specific events that happened here … the greenies trying to build a base, loss of power and resources, the sickness. All of those things could have become a rallying point for the people but then came the canker from inside.”

“Mr. Kemper?”

“Exactly. A common enemy usually unites people even when they are polar opposites. It may not unite them long, but it can unite them long enough. But people like Kemper … they are the flaw in the stone, the weak link in the chain, the poison that grows from the inside out. Kemper created a kind of civil war here in Damascus. Rather than working together they chose sides … the side that they believed would be better for them and theirs on a personal level rather than seeing how they were better served by pulling together for the whole. They split their manpower and resources … not just physically split it but emotionally and mentally … and spiritually I guess … split it and rather than one side or the other becoming stronger for the split, both sides ultimately became weaker.”

I thought about what he’d said for a few moments. “I guess I must sound pretty young and dumb.”

“No Hon, just too close to the situation because you know these people.”

I sighed and then said, “I thought I did.”

“Don’t let it get you so down. Everyone has hidden or unexpected weaknesses. Look at me, last thing I ever thought I would be was jealous but …” He ended with a shrug.

I looked at him. “You don’t have any reason to be. You know that don’t you?”

“Of course I do. Doesn’t stop me from making a donkey’s behind out of myself on occasion though. You ever been jealous of me?”

I tried to be honest with him and with myself. “There’s been a few women I took a disliking to, not because of the way you acted but because of the way they did. Or your history with that one we don’t need to talk about. Mostly I just keep finding myself surprised that you did pick me over the others. It’s not like things started out easy between us.”

He snorted, “No they didn’t but you hooked me before I was even sure you were a girl and you just try and imagine how that drove me crazy. He had his horse walk closer to the side of the wagon I was driving on and then reached out and took my hand for a moment. “I’m grateful too. Not just for how you feel about me but for having the sense to give this between us a chance when there were days I wanted to run you off. But now that we’re a team, I don’t think there are too many that will be able to stand against us.”

Knowing what was going through his head I said, “You’re thinking we may have trouble with Kemper and his group.”

“Depends on how many strong ‘lieutenants’ he has besides the two we took out today. From the sound of things the group will fall apart on its own over the winter if it is up to Kemper alone. It won’t be easy on anyone but we could let it take a natural course like that. On the other hand, if there is another strong-willed man …”

“…or woman,” I added.

“Or woman,” he agreed. “Another person strong enough to turn the group into something dangerous to their neighbors … then we’ll have to rethink that. And if others don’t have the stomach for it I …”

“… we,” I interjected again making him laugh.

“OK, Ok … if others don’t have the stomach for it we may have to take a hand in that group’s direction. We just need to be careful we don’t get caught in the middle of all of these emotions that people are going through right now. And is it me or is it a lot colder than it should be.”

“You ain’t just whistling Dixie. Let’s park the wagon in the storage barn so that I can use the tunnels to cart them to the house and get them processed. I’m glad we finished nailing up the last of that chicken wire in the barn. It’s not that I don’t trust Barney and Boots but there’s no sense in creating a temptation. The animals can share warmth but we don’t have to worry about them eating each other. And something is tracking us off to the right.”

“Big or small?”

“Small so it isn’t a bear or a cougar.”

He nodded and suddenly he drove his horse onto the edge of the road and I had to pull hard on the reins as a small hound was flushed out into the road. “Aw …”

I tied the wagon off and got down. The poor little thing was shivering and skittish but she wanted some attention so bad she might has well have been talking.

“Easy Hon …”

“It’s a hound Thor.”

“I can see it’s a dog and puppy or not …”

“No Thor … it’s a hound. Looks like she is mostly bloodhound with a little bluetick in there too.”

“And that makes a difference?”

I laughed as the puppy finally decided that I wasn’t going to chase her off came up right under me where I had squatted down and just leaned against me. “Bloodhounds are some of the best family dogs out there that also double as a hunting dog. With that bluetick in her I bet she’d make a great hunter. They aren’t as rambunctious and noisy as beagles are and they get along well with other dogs too. She’ll be hard headed until we get her trained but …” I slowed down realizing Thor hadn’t said anything.

I looked over my shoulder, not sure what to expect, but Thor just sat on the horse smiling and trying not to laugh at me. “Just tell me I don’t have to share the bed with her.”

Relieved I smiled, “Uh uh. She’ll be happier on the rug by the fire or finding her own quiet spot. Come on girl. Let’s get you back to the farm. Bet you’re hungry.”

That caused Thor’s smile to falter, “If she’s what you say she is we’re going to have trouble keeping her fed.”

“No, it should be fine. Bloodhounds don’t do well on commercial kibble, they need real meat and veggies to keep from developing bloat. The thing is I wonder where she came from? There were a couple of hunting clubs around here and I know there were some AKC breeders around, but none in Damascus proper. And she’s mixed … not full bloodhound. Of course she’s so young she was probably conceived after all of this mess started which means that someone’s dogs were out or let out … guess it doesn’t really matter, just surprised the other dog packs haven’t found her and tore her up.”

“It might be worth putting a bit of thought to where she might have come from,” Thor disagreed. “Might be supplies and stuff she could use.”

“Yeah, tick shampoo for one,” I said pulling a big ol’ nasty one off of her ear and another one off her side. Poor thing barely whimpered.

I picked her up and she panicked for just a second before settling down. I put a bushel basket between my feet and then threw the old wagon blanket in it and then put her down in there. It took her a moment to settle but when she did she looked just about as content as a poor tired puppy could look. She got rattled again when I started the wagon moving forward but as soon as she realized I wasn’t going anywhere she settled down again though a little uneasily.

All was well when we got back to the farm and both Thor and I were grateful to finish the outside chores. Then we hauled a couple of bushels of apples to the kitchen and I started dinner. The puppy was at our heels the whole time. If we stopped long enough she’d get right up on us and lean hard.

“Is the dog supposed to be like this?” Thor asked.

“No, not really. But she’s a puppy and she’s been through a lot. She’ll get over it as soon as she starts feeling secure and I’ll start training her tomorrow.”

“She wolfed down that little bit of stew you gave her earlier … you sure she can eat that stuff?”

“Dogs aren’t really designed to eat all of the grain that is in most kibble … they’re carnivores not cattle. Some rice and veggies with the meat is OK so long as it ground up fine. Dogs literally wolf their food down rather than chewing it like humans. I’m going to feed her in small bits until I’m sure she woke hurl. But just to be on the safe side, put your boots up on the night table. She’s still puppy enough that she might need a chew toy for her baby teeth. I’m not real sure. Jimmy Ray will be good to ask though.”

“Why?”

“He’s dog crazy. I bet he might even be able to tell us where sweetie here is mostly likely from. Or at least have a good idea.”

Thor stretched and popped and the dog just watched him. When he sat down in a chair near the stove she sidled over and laid down with her head on his boot. He bent down and scratched her head and then picked her up and put her in his lap and got a royal tongue washing for it. “Well not tomorrow. I’m going to be most of the day changing that panel out.”

“Yeah, and I’ve got to get a good inventory of everything we have on hand and do something with these apples ... here, give her a bit of this one and see if she’ll eat it, just don’t let her get the seeds.”

Thor was laughing his head off so much as he was feeding the dog slices of apple that he dropped it and it rolled under the table. The puppy fetched it and put it right in his hand. “Praise her for turning it back over to you. Might as well start training her if she is that inclined.”

It wasn’t long after dinner that we were all so tired we decided to make an early night of it. “I wonder if she is a voyeur,” Thor mumbled.

“Huh?!”

“The dog … and what are you going to name her?”

“I don’t know yet. She’s a sweetie … I … that’s her name. Sweetie.”

“Er … you sure? How about Lady.”

“Oh fine. I guess a big tough guy like you might object to running around in the woods calling for Sweetie.”

“Yeah.”

We both laughed a little, then loved a little … and yes, I caught Lady watching … and then fell asleep as the wind howled. But we were all warm and full and safe. I knew however that not everyone was so blessed as us.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 78

The rest of that week and most of the next when it was cold, damp, and dreary out of doors; so much so that regardless of our desire it really didn’t make sense to try and do any more salvaging. It was also challenging in other ways as well. His new reality of stationary life really hit Thor in the face like blunt force trauma. I tried to help but I knew for the most part I had to let him get through it in his own way. When he needed space I gave it to him. When he needed activity he would prowl the tunnels or chop wood or take short walks to better familiarize himself with the general lay out of the farm.

For me too being closed up indoors was a problem. I’d never liked the claustrophobic feeling but on the other hand I knew what to expect and how to head off the worst of the creepy crawlies I would get. Dad had reinforced the door jamb of my bedroom so that I could hang a bar and do pull ups if I couldn’t get out to the ones that we’d built outside. I also had a nice set of free weights down in the basement and Thor and I acted as spotters for each other. He was surprised by how much I could bench even after so many months being out of training. What really surprised him was how much I could dead lift. I told him it was all in the legs and that led to silly talk which led us to discovering that the basement floor was really too hard and cold for anything other than walking on.

Along with the trials and adjustments we had some successes. First off, replacing the whole panel and all of the breakers fixed whatever the problem was and we were able to get the generator running. When we couldn’t figure out what we were pulling so much juice even though everything was turned off Thor realized that even some things that were “off” still pulled power to keep their memory up and running so I went around unplugging everything that was unpluggable.

We took the frig out of the kitchen and put it out with the freezer in what Mom always referred to as the “cold room.” It was one of the rooms that was built back into the hill and stayed air conditioned cold even in the worst summer heat. In addition to that Dad had put in vents that made use of the cold air in the tunnels. The only time there was a problem in the room was when someone didn’t shut the door properly or the weather stripping around the door jamb failed; moisture could build up. There was a drain in the floor that made for easy clean up but the goal was still to keep it cold and dry in there as possible.

Cleaning the freezer out had been disgusting but it could have been worse; Mom and I had canned the last of the meat before we left for San Francisco and about the only thing left had been lima beans and some frozen casseroles so Mom would have a couple of days of easy cooking when we came back. The gunk had drained away and dried long before we got back and just to be on the safe side I replaced the door gasket from parts we picked up at the supply house. We let the freezer run for a full twenty four hours to freeze freezer containers of water and then we started leaving the generator off except for a few hours to keep things in working order.

“Thor, I just don’t get it. I thought the EMP would have killed everything … or at least everything with a circuit board. That would include all the appliances. But only some of the stuff got fried … like the TV and the big stereo and my tower computer.”

He shrugged. “They never were absolutely certain how bad an EMP attack would be. And if you notice all of the broken stuff is on the front size of the house. The washer, that TV and player in the basement, and that boom box in the storage room are OK.”

“But Mom’s sewing machines are working.”

“But they weren’t plugged up and were stored in that metal cabinet. The metal cabinet could have acted as a Faraday Cage. They were also in the back corner of the room which is earth-covered.”

“I guess. But geez, you’d think everything would either work or it wouldn’t,” I said grumpily.

“You’re just hacked that you couldn’t get the TV up and running to watch that DVD of that chick flick.”

“Resident Evil is not a chick flick.”

“It’s a cheesy film of by gone days. They made too many of them. They should have stopped after the second one.”

“Hah! So you did know what it was. You rat!” We wrestled a little in play.

He laughed and shook his head, “Look, if we ever do get around to agreeing to watch a movie let’s make it something that doesn’t remind me so much of those pitiful people. Zombies just don’t do anything for me.”

“They aren’t supposed to. There like … you know … a metaphor and stuff.”

He just laughed and shook his head but I can guarantee I wasn’t watching a brainless car chase show with brainless girls that had unnaturally small waists, perfectly painted claws, and artificially enhanced jiggle-y parts.. I figured I would dig out Dad’s old John Waynes and we could work something out there. The original “True Grit” was a classic … and I thought if he didn’t do the Duke maybe we could watch “Cowboys and Aliens.” I won’t record his opinion of that particular movie when I brought it up.

While we never did get around to watching a movie we did finish weatherizing the house, something I should have thought to do as soon as we came back – put the last of the storm windows put back on, checked all of the weather stripping, and Thor said that since cost wasn’t an issue he wanted to see about putting some of that foam board insulation between the trusses up in the attic as soon as we could salvage it. All of the fireplaces were given a good once over as were the wood stoves but Mom was a real bear about that so I knew they’d be clean as a whistle except for the ones we’d already used. For the fireplaces in the rooms we weren’t using I showed him the covers that Dad had made and we put them in to keep the warmth in the house from escaping or the cold air from outside sneaking in. I also pulled out the little draft blockers that Mom had sewn years ago and when the doors to those rooms were closed I would lay them across the bottom of the door to keep the warm air from escaping into unused rooms.

On the clear but cold days I would take rugs outside and beat the living daylights out of them. I also made Thor a pair of house shoes that he could put on when he was inside (and pulled out my own from the back of my closet) to keep from dragging dirt and leaves all over the place and making my job of keeping the house clean just that much harder.

The biggest bonus for me was that I would wash clothes and everything else like a mad woman when the generator was on. I still hung things out to dry but just being able to put something to work and then walk away from it while it finished the job without supervision was a huge help. For hot water in the summer we used the solar tanks but during the winter I’d gotten used to hot water on demand … or at least warm water. On the road I had suffered through a cold bath when I had to … and on a couple of the hottest days it had even been welcome … but a cold bath during the winter is just plain torture. I had pulled the grandmothers old galvanized hip bath in from the cabin so that we could bathe in the warm kitchen with water from the hot water reservoir on the stove and that took care of part of the problem but emptying that thing was a chore. Thor said in his grandparents’ old house there had been a wood boiler that had been used for hot water in the winter and he thought he could rig something up similar for here in the kitchen and put it in corner that the frig had stood in. That was also the wall shared by the downstairs bathroom and he thought he could rig a valve to run hot water there in the winter and leave the upstairs bathroom for use during the summer.

After the generator was up and running the other main project that Thor worked on was setting up the radios. That proved to be as challenging as the generator but after a day of tinkering and then running antenna wire to the old radio antenna my grandfather had installed before I was even born we were able to receive more than just static.

“Hon, how old is that antenna?”

I laughed, “Older than I am is all I know but Dad always kept it up and taken care of because he meant to get around to having his own set up when the money became available … it just never did. One of the few times I ever remember my mother being really angry at me was one day when I climbed the thing playing King Kong with a Barbie doll. I got all the way to the top and was hollering and carrying on like I had seen on the afternoon creature feature and then I got mad when Dad came up and got me. They wanted to know what I had been doing and why I had scared them so bad. I wanted to know why they had made me stop playing and having fun.”

After a moment Thor asked, “How many times did you get the I-hope-you-have-one-just-like-you speech growing up?”

That made me laugh harder, “A few times. How many times did you get it?”

“Often enough that now that I’m old enough to appreciate what they meant I pray that it was just wishful thinking on their part and not the real curse they hoped it to be,” he said laughing right along with me.

We weren’t the only ones adjusting. Lady was trying to figure out her place to. She was a much happier puppy than when we found her though she was turning out to be a little passing strange. She didn’t bark much and one time when she did bark real loud she scared herself so bad I had to go dig her out of the hay ‘cause she wouldn’t come out on her own. The cattle and chickens fascinated her though thank goodness she only wanted to smell them but the rooster terrified her. And she fell in love with Boots and Barney which might have been the weirdest things of all, but maybe even weirder was that they seemed to tolerate her too.

They couldn’t hide from her. Thor and I would watch them slink away and when she noticed they were gone she would panic for a moment then catch their scent and track them to where ever they had slunk off to. They seemed to do it on purpose. I had worried at first because Boots was a known dog terrorizer … he’d never met a dog he couldn’t whoop up on pretty fierce. But the only time Boots whapped Lady was the one time she tried to give him a tongue bath. He would tolerate her smelling him, even up at his ears, but no tongues. Barney on the other hand seemed to enjoy Lady’s attention even going so far as to purr and roll over on his side. And you should have seen them hunt together.

Lady would sniff out a mouse or rat and then stand back and let the two cats have at it. She’d just stand there and watch unless it tried to get away and then she’d chase it back into play. I’m not sure what Lady thought of the cats but the cats obviously thought we’d brought them a new hunting tool and would tolerate it since it was a gift to them. Cats are like that, the whole world seems to revolve around them.

Finally the weather did clear up, the snow melted back except up in the mountains and in the deepest shadows, and the mud firmed up enough that it wouldn’t be dangerous taking the horses out. I was worried about leaving Lady home alone so I made a pen for her in the barn where the cats could keep an eye on her and she wouldn’t be so lonely.

“Come on Rochelle, you’ve made her a nest, given her a bowl of water, lectured the cats to be good babysitters and threatened to put the rooster in a soup pot if he looks at her cross-eyed. She’s a dog and she needs to learn. And she’s too little to take with us. When she’s older maybe she’ll be OK but until we can be sure of that she’s safer here in the barn … unless you’ve changed your mind and are willing to leave her in the house.”

Well of course I knew that but it had been a long time since I’d had a dog and never a puppy like Lady. I was just worried she wouldn’t be here when we got back. I finally managed to shake myself out of it and saddle up. “No, she’ll do better with the animals to keep her company. I just hope she doesn’t suddenly find her voice and start howling.”

We rode out and we had in mind to go to the library first thing. When we got there I was a bit disappointed. Some of the windows had been broken and there was a leak in the ceiling that had done some damage to a couple of the sections. Most of the sections I wanted to look in were fairly intact but it was hard to decide which ones to take and which ones to leave behind.

Thor was doing his own looking but gave up in disgust. “There are better ones in the library at the farm.”

“I know. But there might be some at the school … at least back in the shop area. Unless Coach or someone like that has already taken them. I wish we could have brought the wagon, there are a bunch of pattern books here that I’d like to save.”

He looked at what I was adding to the stack of books I wanted and asked, “You can do that?”

I looked at the book he was pointing at and said, “Yeah, I can crochet. Knit too. I never really learned to weave though and I haven’t got a clue how to make true fabric … or at least nothing that you could make decent clothes with.”

“It hasn’t come to that yet Hon,” he said with a chuckle.

I wished I thought it was as funny. “Thor, I don’t know about you but I’m hard on clothes when I’m working outside a lot. If nothing else I have to be able to mend what we’ve got. We’ve managed to find you some stuff but the clothes we have won’t last a lifetime. What if things never go back to normal? What if …?”

“Easy Hon,” he said brushing my cheek. “You’re getting wound up again.”

“Maybe so,” I agreed. “But I’ll kick myself if I wake up one day and realize I’ve been too short sighted. I never would have thought what has happened would have yet here we are. And sometimes I wonder if God hadn’t led me to you would I have even made it this far. I don’t want any kid we have to be in the same place I was a few months back … with nothing but barely the clothes on their back and afraid to even try and see more than a day ahead of themselves.”

That got me a hug for comfort and a kiss for distraction. “Let’s just focus on getting through the coming year first. Once we get that mostly squared away we can expand our plans. When your goal gets too overwhelming you build failure into it. Break it down into blocks small enough to deal with but still big enough that the result counts.”

We both knew that was easier said than done but I did put my worries aside for a while and went back to making stacks of books. Almost an hour later we both had several stacks – the ones we were taking with us and the ones we would come back for another day. The air was still brisk as we stepped outside and I shivered a bit.

“You cold?”

“Naw, just felt like a goose crossed my grave,” I told him.

“Not sure I’m too fond of that particular saying Hon.”

I shook my head, “I don’t think I meant anything in particular by it.”

“Think?” I wasn’t sure how to answer him. Sometimes I got feelings that meant something and sometimes they didn’t … and sometimes I couldn’t tell the difference. After a moment he asked, “You have any place else in mind? Serious salvage is out since we don’t have the means of transporting it back but …”

When he hesitated I said, “But …?”

Another hesitation and he pulled out Uncle Barkley’s map. “Might be time to check out a few of these marks … see if our guesses coordinate with them.”

I looked at the ones he was pointing at and just made a couple of corrections since he didn’t know the lay of the land. “To get to those we’ll have to take a different trail than these others. Better to add these two in and keep those three for another day.”

We took off and for me it was a little depressing. Houses that had once been well kept were everything but. Some showed what looked like intentional vandalism and some simply looked abandoned … to some extent they all looked and felt haunted.

Thor noticed the change in me. “You OK?”

Perturbed I snapped, “You keep asking that. Shouldn’t I be the one asking if you are OK? This can’t be what I led you to believe we would find when we got here.”

“Easy Hon,” he said more gently than I probably deserved. “You didn’t lead me to believe anything. Anything I thought I did on my own. You didn’t trick me or coerce me to come here. This simply wasn’t my home.” I tried to say something but he made me let him finish. “This wasn’t my home but it is now … not for what was here but because you and I are here together now. It’s not that these places don’t affect me … they just don’t affect me the same way they affect you.”

I tried to roll the stress out of my neck and shoulders. “OK … and sorry I bit your head off. It’s like I’m seeing two pictures at the same time, one laid over the top of the other. The way things used to be and the way they are now. I’m … I’m having trouble dealing with the differences.”

“You wouldn’t be human otherwise Rochelle, just don’t lose your situational awareness in your sadness. We don’t know what or who is out here. We don’t know if any of these places are still occupied or not.”

And his words were like a signal. We heard the report of a rifle coming from up one of the long driveways that ran up and away from the main road.

“That wasn’t directed at us,” I hissed as we got off the road and into the bushes for cover.

“No. The echo around here is ba …” another volley of shots interrupted what he was about to say. When we heard a woman scream hysterically we tied off our horses in the bushes and hurried up towards the house staying in the bushes and trees for cover.

The closer we came to our destination the slower we had to go to avoid making a lot of noise. When more shots came we were able to pinpoint three men, one of whom was injured and two women in the bushes firing at the house that had recently had a fire one end which laid it open and bare from the garage into what I remembered had been the kitchen and breakfast nook.

A voice from the house full of hate shouted, “You can tell Kemper and my Mom to shove their deal. You killed my daddy and now it looks like you did the same thing to my step-Mom! You come one step closer and I’ll put some more holes in you!!”

I knew that voice and I looked at Thor and pointed to the five intruders and mouthed the words, “Extreme prejudice.”

Thor nodded in return and no, I don’t regret shooting Kemper’s people in the back. That’s all those cowards deserved. It only took five rounds ‘cause we didn’t hesitate.

I shouted towards the house, “Tina! It’s Rocky!”

After a few moments she called back out, “How … how do I know it is you? And how do I know I can trust you if it is you?”

I thought for a second, but only that. “Did I ever tell who put the leeches in Marcie’s underwear?”

A nearly hysterical giggle turned into heart breaking sobs and I eased up to the porch. “Tina? You in there? Can I come in?”

She came out wiping her eyes, “The house … it’s not fit for company …” When she caught sight of Thor I had to calm her down.

“Easy, this is my husband.”

“Your … oh … I’d … yeah.” She stopped and wiped her eyes. “I beg your pardon. Stro … he said that you … I … well I just wasn’t sure what to make of it.”

Thor looked at me and then made one of the signs we’d used for months. When he went off into the woods Tina stiffened up again.

“Relax,” I told her. “It’s all right. He’s just is making sure there aren’t any more around.”

“There’re two dead in the gully behind the house. I caught them trying to sneak up when I was coming back from feeding the horses. Oh … oh Rocky … the Littles … I have to …”

She was about to shake apart but I knew she meant her twin half siblings. “How old are they now?” I asked trying to focus her.

“Three. Oh my God, how am I going to ever … ? And winter isn’t even here yet and …”

“You can’t stay here, that’s for sure. And don’t get all bowed up, you know what I mean. I hate to ask, there isn’t much time, but what happened exactly?”

Thor whistled to let me know he was about to step up to the porch so we both listened. The story was simple but no less tragic because of it.

“They were here yesterday with their so-called deal which was really just an ultimatum. Give them what they wanted or they were going to burn us out. You can see they’d already tried once right before the last storm. There were only two of them but they still managed to hurt Daddy pretty bad … broke his arm, nose, a couple of teeth; I’m pretty sure he had a concussion and a bruised kidney as he had blood in his urine. I had to feed the horses and that was the only reason he let me out of the house. My step mom couldn’t because she just miscarried again and was still bleeding. Daddy couldn’t; in truth he could barely move at all. They didn’t even give a warning, just came in shooting. Dad took one …” she pointed towards a tablecloth covered body by the window. There was more than just blood on the fabric so I suspected he’d been hit in the head. “My step mom … she tried, she really did but they shot her in the stomach a little while ago. There’s nothing I could do for her or Daddy. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do and then you two showed up.”

She wandered away and down to their rumpus room and I saw two sets of little eyes staring up from below. She went down and brought them up. The kids – a girl and a boy - didn’t look bad, just shocky. “They’re growing out of their clothes. Daddy wouldn’t let me go looking for new ones. He said it was indecent to paw through other people’s belongings like that. I’m not sure he really grasped what was going on and just how bad it was. My step mom and I spent a lot of time trying to … not upset him.”

“Nothing against your Dad Tina, especially now, but we can’t let them kids go around without clothes.”

“Those kids,” she corrected automatically. “And I know. I just …”

I looked at Thor and he was letting me make the decision again. It made me want to throw something at him but it also made me think. I wasn’t prepared to just drag someone back to the farm. Tina was OK but she and I weren’t real close … her father had made sure of that. I wouldn’t walk away and leave her and the little kids stranded but I wasn’t ready to turn the farm into a hotel either. Then a potential solution came to me. “Tina? Will you let me take you to Granny C’s place?”

When she stiffened I told her, “Look, pride is one thing but this is something else all together. Besides, you could trade some of your training you were getting in school for a place to stay. Granny C would likely be grateful for the help and grateful for the female company. All’s she got as far as I know are Mr. Hefling and the boys.”

I thought she was going to fight more but she just looked around and then relaxed. “I won’t be a charity case. I can work for my keep … and the twins’ too. I can help Granny C and Doc. I can be useful.”

“Of course you can.”

She stiffened her spine again but this time in resolution. “I’ll ride one of the horses and put the twins on the pony; Daddy had already been teaching them to ride. Let me grab some laundry bags and I’ll put them on the other two horses. Stro …” Even in her pallor I saw a brief crimson tinge touch the tips of her ears. “Stro can give me a hand with the rest of it later today … or tomorrow if there is anything left.”

Since most of their food had been moved down into the rumpus room for safe keeping I went down there with my wind up light and started loading some of the easier stuff to transport into one of the laundry bags while she started gathering clothes and whatever else from upstairs. I heard Thor’s boots on the stairs. “Fill me in?”

Since I’d figure he’d ask sooner or later the story was already organized in my head. “Tina was a year ahead of me in school. She and Stro were hot and heavy until her dad found out about it. He sometimes substituted up at the highschool and was kind of prejudice against Stro because he thought he was just a dumb jock, didn’t want to listen to any other possibility, Stro Hefling just wasn’t good enough for his daughter that was going to be a doctor. He made them break up and then Janie came back to town … Stro had dated Janie before Tina … and you know about all that. Tina though … she never started dating anyone else. She never said that she was still hung up on Stro but …”

I heard Thor mutter, “God I am so glad I am past the stage in life.”

“Excuse me?” I asked huffily.

He snorted, “You know what I mean and if you don’t I’ll show you tonight. Just you couldn’t pay me to go back to that kind of drama.”

“No, you just lived to be shot at in foreign countries. You were an adrenaline junkie,” I sniffed.

“Now Hon …”

He almost missed my lips twitching.

“Hey! You were yanking my chain!”

“Of course I was you big goof. I’ve always hated the drama a lot of people seem to thrive on creating for themselves. I had enough foisted on me by real life … I didn’t need to go creating more of it.”

A teasing headlock and a kiss were my reward and then we headed back upstairs to find Tina putting the twins in their snowsuits. Thor went out to saddle the horses. “Sorry,” I muttered a little embarrassed at getting caught at gossiping.

“Don’t be. You’re right. It was always something with someone all around us. It’s like we took turns. Only you stayed out of it … or at least you did when we let you.”

She was nervous, talking to avoid thinking. I told her, “You’ll be OK. It won’t be easy but you will be OK you know.”

“You say it like you’re sure.”

“I am … assuming you want to believe it too.”

She nodded absent mindedly and then with more assurance. “I’m not going to give up. The eco-freaks couldn’t make me. The sickness couldn’t make me. All the troubles couldn’t make me. And Kemper and his creeps sure can’t make me. Give me a hand with the Littles and then let’s go. I don’t want to show up in the middle of a meal and it will be close enough to lunch when we get there as it is.”

We got on the road and Tina told me about the empty houses we passed and which driveways to avoid because of who was living where. “People are jumpy. I have a feeling that my family isn’t the only one that has been visited by Kemper.”

She was too right. We caught sight of a man running down the road toward us. “Rocky?! Thor?!”

It was Lawson. “What?!” He was a bloody mess. His eyebrow was split and so was his lip and a cut above his ear had run all down onto his clothes.

“They’ve got Granny’s surrounded. We’re holding them off but I came around and down to see if I could get some help. They said they’d burn us out in an hour.”

I looked at Thor who had a cold, mean look on his face. He said, “I’ve had all I’m taking from these people. They’re starting to irritate me.”

Tina could only stare at him and breathe a weak, “Geez.”

I turned to Tina, “Remember the rock all the kids called the playhouse … the one by the old water wheel?” At her nod I said, “Lawson take her there and protect them until you hear my half time whistle.” I looked at Tina. “Try and patch him up please. We may need him back in the game before it’s over.”

Thor and I handed the horses off to Lawson and after a few minor questions Thor and I took off for yet another fight. I had a feeling though this time Thor was done being a gentleman. And I was plumb tired of nothing but defensive plays; time for the offense to hit the field.
 

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 79

I did not feel guilty for what I had already done that day, nor for what I was about to do, but I didn’t feel any kind of righteousness either. I wondered about it for a moment and then decided that it wasn’t the time to go all philosophical. I was just a soldier helping to protect my community from a real and present danger. Bottom line was I was seeing myself as part of a solution not a tool of retribution; any issues of revenge I would live to God where they belonged since He was the one in charge of Judgment Day. There was no way to make up for what Kemper’s people had done, no way to bring the dead back to life, no way to unburn Tina’s house or make good on all that Kemper’s people had stolen from others, the destruction they had caused, the families that had been torn apart. There was no going back, only forward. And for us all to move forward, Kemper and his people would have to be moved out of the way.

We came up on a group of three that were already lighting a Molotov cocktail to throw. Kemper’s people had lied yet again; they were not waiting an hour before they attacked but were only lulling their prey into dropping their guard. I heard Thor mutter, “Waste of good hooch” as he brought his rifle to his shoulder. When the man raised his arm to throw the bottle Thor’s bullet shattered it spraying all three men with the contents that quickly caught fire from the lit rag stuffed in the mouth of it.

They ran around screaming, running into each other then falling to the ground trying to put the flames out that were cooking their flesh. Their terror and pain driven screams caused the rest of Kemper’s people to reveal their locations. Those that immediately moved to aid their fallen comrades we shot nearly point blank. Those that had held their position kept their lives a bit longer, but not by much.

We weren’t quite an hour flushing out the final member of Kemper’s squad. Stro and Mr. Hefling joined us once it turned into a hunt. The battle may have been over but the war wasn’t. A man road up and stopped Mr. Hefling and then rode on.

“We’ve had word that at least three other places were hit by Kemper’s people today. Neighbors are starting to check up on one another,” Mr. Hefling told Thor.

I looked at Stro and said, “Add Tina’s house to the list.”

Stro stiffened but before he could ask I told him, “She’s with Lawson and the twins down by the old wheel house ruins. I need to go bring them in, the kids are bound to be cold by now and Granny C …”

“Who’s taking my name in vain? Is that the Charbonneau girl?”

I laughed and said, “Yes ma’am. Would you like me to bring Tina around to give you some help?”

“Well, would you please? Girl has sense and a willingness to work and that’s the best kind of help I need right now.”

I looked at Thor who had a small smile on his lips despite the seriousness of the situation; Granny C had that affect on most people. I told him, “I’ll go bring them in while you and Mr. Hefling do your thing.” I stopped after I had taken a step away and turned. “Don’t you dare leave me out.”

“Would I leave without my right hand?” he asked. I knew he was exaggerating but I didn’t care. No way was I going to let anyone keep me out of it just because I was a girl … or for any other reason.

It didn’t take me long to collect Lawson and the others and return to Granny C’s place. I noted out of the corner of my eye that Stro and Tina were friendly and polite in a kinda tippy-toe around each other way but I kept telling myself it wasn’t my problem. They’d either work it out or not. I was too flaming big to play Cupid. My job was to bash heads, let someone else take on the job of mending hearts.

That didn’t mean that ignoring Stro’s problem was in my nature and I fought the itch to do something to help. As I went through the pockets and packs of Kemper’s people it ate at me, preventing me from focusing like I should have. Granny C must have sensed my dilemma because she came over and patted my arm and said, “I’ll fix ‘em up, you just keep your head on straight. Reckon I don’t want to deal with that long, tall one you got caught by if you get hurt. He seems like he’d make a powerful bit of noise about it all.”

I couldn’t stop the blush that crept across my cheeks. “He’s a good ‘un Granny.”

“I reckon he is if he managed to convince you to let him catch ye. You got him tied up good so it seems.” She said it with a smile of approval. Like Momma, she’d always said one day love would come my way when God thought I was ready; guess she was right.

We pooled the ammo and guns and then ate a light meal by combining the odds and ends we’d collected from them all. It wasn’t what you’d call regular rations, more like stuff that people were keeping back or were hiding from the others. By the time we got everything mixed together it honestly looked a little bit like dog food mixed up with lima beans and diced rutabagas but it filled the holes and it wasn’t like I hadn’t eaten worse while on the road. It just didn’t look at it too close as it was going in.

While we ate we formulated our plan. Thor, speaking to Mr. Hefling said, “I have a good idea of where Kemper’s site is as far as a map goes but as Rochelle’s already warned me, what looks right on a map is different actually getting there on the ground.”

Several local boys … well I guess they were actually young men as they were about my age or older … had arrived to be included in the posse. Lawson had run across some running traps down near the river and they’d spread the word. One young man whose name was JJ said, “Don’t sweat it Mr. Thor, we get tourists that show us maps all the time and say ‘this here map says there is a road’ and all we can do is tell ‘em it may look like a road on their map but it ain’t nothing but something that used to be a road or maybe a road used to be there but the NPS or forestry service fenced across it or rerouted it at some point.”

JJ’s twin brother RJ agreed and then added, “My uncle says they do it on purpose just to drive folks crazy and make the map people richer.”

Mr. Hefling said, “Whatever the reason it’s more true than not. But rather than going by the road it is shorter to follow the river up because it runs in behind that resort they took over. We’ll have to cross the river beforehand because it broadens and runs fast right there. The people that built that resort graded flat a good bit of ground but it hasn’t been kept up since things fell apart and Kemper’s people have put up tents and drug in travel trailers all around the main building to go along with the outlying cabins. It’s not hard to sneak in close if you’re careful … certainly easily within rifle range if it winds up being better to snipe the compound.”

The guys all seemed to like that way too much for my comfort. I looked at Thor and then at the others and said, “Look, at the risk of everyone looking at me like I’m a girl, we need to get our goal straight here. Are we out to do the same thing that Kemper did or are we out just to cut the head off the snake?”

From behind me I heard a voice from the past. “That’s using your noggin for something besides a battering ram.”

I twisted around and grinned. “Coach!”

“Introduce me Rocky … didn’t get a good chance at it last time.” I reintroduced Coach and Thor and they sized each other up a bit before he said, “Seems to me you might have some experience in these types of operations.”

Thor hesitated before saying, “I do. But I’m not about to stir up an ant hill. I’m done being irritated by that group but I won’t be part of wholesale slaughter. We don’t even know if Kemper is still in charge.”

One of the other guys broke in and asked, “You got some reason to think he ain’t?”

Before the others had to lie to cover up what had happened in town I said, “We overheard a group talking. Doesn’t seem like everyone is thrilled with the way things were being operated … or at least they thought they could do a better job of it.”

Coach said, “That jives with what I heard from the group that tried to attack the Lindenhall place.”

“Is that one from today or another attack?” Thor asked.

“Yesterday. The barn is a total loss but they got the animals out.”

Thor looked troubled. I asked, “Thor?”

“Either no one is in charge or the one that is has more bravado than brains. As a group these attacks are too reckless, they don’t hold together. The way these attacks are occurring are more like separate bandit groups rather than a well organized tactical team. If you count up all the bodies today alone they’ve lost over two dozen of what would be considered soldiers, their most valuable community members.”

A guy, one of Sand’s crowd, said, “That’s bad but it isn’t like they don’t have replacements. They have over 200 people.”

I shook my head, “Not anymore they don’t.”

Then we had to put everything together for everyone there. It was a rush job without a lot of detail but it was enough.

“So,” I summed up. “They were down to a hundred and thirty. That number included old folks and children. Say even if three quarters of that whole number were adults you’re gonna have some of those be people that either won’t or can’t fight. Between the women unable to fight and a few men too unskilled to fight say you take off another fifty percent. That left them with about fifty fighters. They’ve lost half that number today alone. That leaves them with twenty-five real fighters … or soldiers. We’ve got nearly twenty right here between us and that is without even trying. Which brings us back to my original question. Do we go in there and bully up on a lot of people that most likely don’t stand a chance against us or do we just go in and cut the head off the snake and … er … dissuade them from continuing their current actions?”

Thor, Coach, Mr. Hefling, Sand who had shown up a few minutes before, and a couple of the other more experienced men all nodded. It was Stro that said, “It might be easier to just go in and mow ‘em all down but I’d like to be able to look at myself in the mirror come morning. Last I heard God ain’t sent down a message that we should go in and kill every man, woman, and child like the Amalekites.”

Not everyone got the Biblical reference, including Thor, but they understood the general idea of it. Some of the young men were still gung ho but the reality had begun to sink in to most of them. I pushed on, “I don’t know how many of the locals are left up there. We know that all of the group that split off are either dead or close to it if that virus takes the same path it did before. I don’t know how many locals left to go with that group but some of the people left however are bound to be from around here. I know they done wrong but I don’t want to start any mountain feuds by killing someone that ain’t an immediate threat to me or mine.”

Thor, while sympathetic, said, “Hon, we don’t have all day. Do we go in or not?”

I knew Thor was talking at me but he was really talking to all of them. There came a time to end the talking and start the walking. “Well, if my opinion counts I say we go in careful and take out their defenses, get whoever is in power, and then back off and let them lick their wounds … assuming they’ll let us show them that kind of Mercy.”

Mr. Hefling and Coach both snorted at the same time. I turned to them and said, “Well? It’s the truth. If they are attacked directly most likely they are going to fight back. We can’t fool ourselves into thinking that some innocent – or at least relatively innocent – people aren’t going to get hurt. The trick is going to be getting in and out and hurting as few people as possible but making the ones we do hurt count on the proper column of the stat sheet.”

It was decided. We broke up into groups. Coach took a lot of the younger guys and would be the rear guard. Another man took some of the group and would bring them up behind the resort. The rest of us … Thor, myself, Mr. Hefling, Stro, Lawson, Sand, and a young man the Lindenhall family had taken in when his had been killed in the original riots … would start the battle.

We all took horses or mules but left them with two of the youngest boys before we crossed the river at an old bridge. Some of the animals were high strung and being out and about around all the other animals appeared to be making them edgy so Jimmy Ray was also asked to stay behind and he seemed relieved to do it. It’s not that Jimmy Ray wasn’t a fighter, the battle that lay ahead was simply well beyond his sheltered experience. The three groups made their final split and ours headed cautiously forward. The trail we followed would take us along a small tributary to the river and just above the resort. The smell reached us before we caught sight of resort.

There was a sudden violent rustling in the trees and Lawson almost shot one of the boys from the group that was supposed to be heading around to the back. Huffing and puffing Jimmy Ray’s younger cousin said, “I think someone’s done gone completely crazy Mr. Thor. We cain’t get around the way we were going ‘cause there’s a fire in the trees. Mr. Beaumont says that he’s going to take us back to hook up with Coach in case the fire sweeps around. So far it is only traveling slow because of all the recent wetness but he’s not sure if it’s going to run all the way to the peak or not or if there’s enough snow left to stop it from going up and over and down into the next valley.”

Mr. Hefling shook his head worriedly and sent the boy back down the path we’d taken to hook up with the rest of them. “This ain’t good.”

We needed to see for ourselves so we finished climbing to the vantage point that had been our goal to begin with. We had no sooner gotten there when I noticed something weird. “No animal I know makes holes that neat and uniform.”

“Those aren’t holes Hon, someone …” He looked over at Mr. Hefling who nodded in agreement. “Those aren’t holes. They’re either mines, boobies, or …”

He never finished as there was an explosion on one end of the resort and then those holes started exploding as well. I nearly yelled but caught myself in time. Stro spoke for us all when he said, “What in blue blazes?!”

Mr. Hefling nudged Thor and then handed him a high powered rifle scope and pointed. I couldn’t see much through the smoke but Thor muttered, “Idiots.”

“Want to fill the rest of us in?” Stro asked in irritation.

Mr. Hefling said, “Watch it son.”

Stro sighed and said, “Sorry Dad … Thor. It’s just this was going to be hard enough as it was … did we need them folks to find a treasure box of stupid pills?”

That was one of Coach’s favorite phrases when any of his players did something really stupid off the field. Both Lawson and I snorted and when Thor looked at me I told him, “Inside joke, something Coach would say, I’ll explain it later. But it’s the truth. Do we continue with the plan or come back another day when things aren’t so … so …”

I wasn’t sure what to call it but Thor said, “No. It needs to come to a stop now. Someone down there has what looks like a box of old dynamite.”

Mr. Hefling broke in, “Probably from the quarry but it ain’t been stored properly if the boxes are any indication. TNT starts degrading after a year and from the looks of that I would say that stuff is at least twice that old, maybe more. Idiots was being too kind.”

Another explosion went off outside of the resort’s perimeter and people stopped running around and took refuge again. “What is going on? And let’s not bother with who so much as why they are blowing up their own people?!”

“They may not be doing this on purpose if those explosives are unstable.”

Just then an explosion larger than the other ones rocked the whole area and when things stopped falling from the sky and the dust cleared it looked like half the main building was gone. Sand had been relatively quiet up to this point but he finally muttered, “Oh crap.”

The explosion had thrown burning debris up into the surrounding forest including some that rained down around us. Pines and cedars are highly flammable and that is primarily what had been used to replant with after the lumber companies had cut over this area about fifty years previously. There weren’t a lot of pines left of that age but there were some, the rest were descendents of those planted pines and the forest floor was deep in pine needles making for a potential tender box.

Some snapping and crackling above us warned me. “Move!” I yelled with all the authority I could slam into my voice while I used my body to slam Thor and Stro backwards.

We just barely avoided getting crushed by a piece of debris that had lodged in the top of a pine. It had started a blaze in the pine forest canopy that was already spreading … this time towards town rather than away from it. But it wasn’t moving fast because of the remaining snow mass that remained on this shaded side of the hollow.

Sand said, “That was close. I’m thinking we need to get back and start building fire breaks and pray the river keeps it on this side.”

I asked, “Who is left on this side of the river? Is anyone left?”

“None that I know of,” Mr. Hefling said thinking as he looked at the renewed commotion down in the resort. “Weren’t that many to begin with after the Forestry Service and Fish and Wildlife forced the lumber companies to put all of this land in a trust.”

“I thought they did that in lieu of fines and taxes,” I said rattled enough to lose my focus.

“Nah. The state wanted the land after they found that big vein of copper ore. But times a wasting. Do we stay or do we go?”

I looked at Thor who was still calmly watching the goings on below us. “There’s a fight going on.”

“What?”

“There’s some kind of shoot out going on. Look … there’s a small group there by the side of the big building. Now see how there are several shooters looking their direction. There. Did you see that? They’re being careful but they are taking shots at each other.”

Sure enough they were but none of us could tell, from this distance, how serious they were. Suddenly Lawson says, “Look! That’s Kemper.”

Sure enough a handful of people were taking off out of back of the main resort building. Kemper wasn’t the only one I recognized either. There was a woman I recognized as a teacher from the middle school, Kemper’s daughter, two men I didn’t recognize … and then Janie. I glanced at Stro and found his face hard.

But hard turned to absolute shock when a man jumped out of the trees and cut them all down with an automatic rifle. The man started shouting, “We got him! We got Kemper!!” Then he too was taken down by a shotgun blast from his buddy who shot him in the back. That man grabbed Kemper’s backpack, ripped it off the body, and started running up the trail in our direction.

I looked at Stro and he and me and we stood up and positioned ourselves on either side of the trail. Thor was asking a silent question but I winked at him. Not even a minute later the assassin was puffing up the trail dragging Kemper’s pack. Stro and I sandwiched him and the guy made a funny bleating sound as the air was forcefully slammed out of his body before toppling over. I pulled an old, brown extension cord off the guy’s belted and hog-tied him by two arms and one leg after throwing Stro a piece roll of duct tape to cover the guy’s mouth with.

Lawson grinned briefly at Thor’s raised eyebrow and whispered in a snicker, “Not too many people got up after getting caught between the Freight Train and the Brick Wall.” Thor’s sardonic “I imagine not” had me giving him a look that promised him all kinds of rewards for acknowledging my abilities rather than denigrating me for them.

Mr. Hefling’s soundless whistle had us turning to him. “Well, well, well. Apparently Kemper was holding out on his people. Idiot. What did he think this stuff was going to be worth anyway?”

In the pack were stacks of large bills … and I’m not talking about the kind that belonged on a duck. In the bottom were some collectable coins sealed in plastic but mostly it was just stacks and stacks of paper dollars in large denominations. If I had collected all of that I’d seen since I had left San Francisco I could have repapered the inside of the house and still had enough to do all the outbuildings too and had a year’s worth of toilet paper on top of that. From what I had experienced paper money wasn’t worth the ink it had been printed with.

“Anything actually worth anything in there?” I asked.

There wasn’t except for a couple of coins that looked authentic enough that they might be valuable some day. Thor divided those up between those of us there and then retied the pack shut. The guy that Stro and I had mashed had regained consciousness and when we threw the pack into a pile of embers he started having a fit. We ignored him. There was no reason for making such a fuss over just a bunch of burning paper.

Looking around at what remained of the situation I laid it on the table. “OK, Kemper’s dead. The compound is badly damaged and probably not fit for habitation this winter. They’ll be lucky to dig out enough supplies to get them through a few more weeks at the rate things are burning down there. It looks like they won’t be able to reorganize since from what we can tell they fell apart from within. The number of real fighters they have left is negligible. And the sense of those that are left is questionable at best.” That last was said looking at the fool that was still trying to drag what was left of the pack out of the embers with his free foot.

Thor and Mr. Hefling seemed to be communicating silently and I remembered why people found it annoying when Stro and I did that. Sand seemed to be on their wavelength however and said, “That still leaves people that are going to be looking for a hand out … whether it’s willing or not. Even with the best case scenario we are going to have community-wide problems from this.”

In a strained voice Stro said, “Depends.”

“On what?” I asked.

“On that,” he responded pointed down the path. He’d been looking at Janie’s body and had been the first to see the fire break through the wet litter on top of the dry duff. When we turned it was to see lots of flames begin to break through. It was time to move. The sound of squealing had me pulling out my Bowie. Lawson reached towards me but Stro grabbed his arm.

The Bowie sliced through the electrical cord in one smooth cut and our captive was up and running. Sand startled us by yelling, “Not that way!” But it was too late.

The man had run off into the underbrush. In only a moment he had lifted the damp litter away and let oxygen into the smoldering layer beneath. The flames leapt all round him and then engulfed him. In his rush to escape he hadn’t even bothered to tear the duct tape off of his mouth and that’s probably the only thing that held his screams in.

We didn’t have time to be fully impressed by the horror because we were off and running ourselves, trying to get to the river before we got cut off. We didn’t dare get off the path for fear of having the same thing happen to us that happened to the man we’d left behind, melting in his own refusal to listen to Sand’s warning.

Slipping and sliding we ran down and we could see the bridge a half a football field away. On the other side were the other two groups. Mr. Hefling slapped Lawson and said, “Go! Tell ‘em to set up fire breaks along the narrow point of Left Fork!”

Lawson, despite his bulk, had been one of the fastest wide receivers in our division. And as I watched him pound down the path I thought to myself, “The boy can still fly.”

We were only ten yards from stepping foot on safety when a great whoosh of heat nearly knocked us off of our feet and a wall of flames sprung up, rushed across our path and cut us off.

“Dad!!” Lawson frantically screamed, but he was held back by Coach and a couple of the other grown men. Then it came to me and I brought a fist down on Sand and Stro’s shoulder and made a hand motion at Lawson who nodded and started running. He was followed by a couple of the guys on that side.

I grabbed Thor’s arm and Stro grabbed his dad. Sand grabbed the Lindenhall kid. We started running along the river bank, doing our best not fall in, all three of us thinking the same thing.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 80

It was going to be tricky but so long as they were still there we would at least have a chance. “They” were the canoes and kayaks that our Venture Crew had rented out from the different resort lodges in the area. There was a portage area that kept extra equipment in case of leaks and damage and that work shed was our destination.

I didn’t have a clue whether Thor could kayak or canoe and I knew for a fact that Mr. Hefling’s bad leg would make it difficult for him, but the rest of us were experienced at both. Even the Lindenhall boy, whose name I finally remembered was Turner Ashby, had a summer job helping run tourists from town up to the different drop off points.

We’d outrun the flames by going up and over on a trail that cut across rather than following the river. I almost cussed when we got there but Turner called, “Help me bust this lock off!”

Stro said, “Get outta the way! Easier to break the door than to break the lock!” And that’s exactly what he did; he broke the hasp right out of the wooden panel.

Inside were a couple of kayaks hanging from the ceiling. “Rochelle …”

“It’ll work, just let me show you,” I told him.

Turner said brusquely, “Not those … these. This is where we store them.” He pulled down a canvas sheet.

“The trainers!”

Three two-seater kayaks were suspended on rods on the wall. We quickly pulled them out and the oars that went with them and then put our packs in the float bags that were hanging on the wall next to the some additional wet gear. Only half of us got gear that fit but some coverage was better than none so despite the coveralls being several inches too short in the leg Stro, Thor, and I still put them on as well as the water proof coats that hit us midway between wrist and elbow. Thor wound up taking his jacket off again after saying, “Forget it. I’ll wear the rain poncho but I can barely lift my arms in this thing.” Stro and I looked at him and then followed suit. This wasn’t summer vacation and we might need to have full movement.

When it came time to get into the kayaks at the water’s edge Thor was not at all comfortable with the seating arrangement but I was the only one that realized it. Sand chose that moment to open his mouth when I wished he hadn’t. “Relax Thor. There are only a couple of rapids between here and where we’re aiming for.”

Thor looked at me, gave a sigh like a horse that has been ridden too long but knows he’s still got a ways before he gets to rest, and did his best to relax. Sand pushed off with Turner, Stro pushed off with his father, and then I pushed off with Thor. Thor and I rode deep in the water but since we were in a calm stretch the water didn’t lap over into the kayak.

My paddle muscles were telling me it had been a while since I had kayaked. Even with the weight training that Thor and I had started up the backs of my shoulders were feeling well used by the time we’d gone a quarter mile.

I felt the kayak bobble just a bit and then Thor said, “It doesn’t look like the fire has crossed the river yet but it is coming up hard on our side.”

Sand heard and said, “The fire is racing through the duff and now that flames have broken out it is drying the litter on top faster. River is going to narrow up here at the first rapid but I don’t think it’ll jump here … it’s too rocky and stays wet year round from a spring that empties into it right on the bank.”

I explained to Thor, “Not far now. It’s barely a Class 2. We’ll come out of this run, hit the rapid, then the cascade. The only maneuvering we’ll have to do is right at the end to avoid a large undercut.”

It was as smooth as I told him it would be. When we reached where the water was back to being a smooth run Mr. Fleming asked Sand, “Do you think they’ll get there in time?”

He answered, “It’s not that I’m worried about. They’ll be able to cut down time by running across the bow rather than around it. But if the fire gets there before they do and the bridge comes down or catches fire …”

Not a pleasant prospect and I prayed that wasn’t the case. The water was moving rapidly and waves were beginning to bounce us around a little bit throwing cold spray into our face. In a strained voice just loud enough for me to hear Thor asked, “Hon, did I ever tell you I’m not real fond of little boats?”

Every man has his weakness and I just figured out what Thor’s was. I leaned back as far as I could and told him, “Just hold on, we’ll get passed this and through the next bit of whitewater and it’s the worst of the three. Try and not lose your oar; as soon as I say pull it out of the water and just let me do the work. Pretend you are on a roller coaster.”

A strangled, “I’m not real fond of them either” was his only response.

I wondered how on earth a man that had, by all accounts from the stories I’d heard around the campfires all summer, jumped from airplanes, flown helicopters in bad weather, and rappelled down the sides of sheer cliffs could possibly get motion sickness in a little kayak. Then I didn’t have time to think, only steer.

I stroked and dragged doing my best to put us through the gentlest route. I heard a snap and then a curse as Mr. Hefling lost his paddle trying to avoid side swiping a boulder. I saw Sand’s kayak t-bone and then swing around. Lucky for them both were experienced kayakers and they worked in conjunction to straighten up before they went through the sieve. Thor and I did okay until the very end when an eddie caught us and I couldn’t keep us from hitting a pillow. I was able to get us out before we got sucked down into a pressure wave but we still rolled and it wasn’t until Thor accidentally helped that I got us back upright.

I expected to hear some fancy cursing from Thor but all was silent. I couldn’t look back until we were out of the cascade and by then Sand and Stro had paddled to our side. I turned and saw Thor had a bloody nose and a busted lip and a little bit of a crazy look in his eyes. “You did say that was the worst? Right Ro-chelle?”

I fought a smile, knowing he was all right if he could be a smart aleck and I said, “You betcha.”

All six of us then put our backs into it and by the time we got to the third rapid we fairly shot through it like a watermelon seed at a spitting contest. “All done with the rapids,” I said, trying to keep my teeth from chattering.

“We need to get dry,” Thor responded in a less than hearty voice.

I did turn around then and realized with some alarm that the bloody nose and busted lip wasn’t his only injury. But there was no time to say anything we were coming around the bend and heard guns shots.

“Well crud!” I complained.

“Yep,” Stro agreed.

We slowed the kayaks but our previous speed still took us around the bend and into the middle of a battle. We started paddling for the shore where our people were but Sand and Mr. Hefling both took hits in the process. We got up to shore and others were there waiting for us.

Thor stumbled and I put my shoulder up under him and got him onto the trail into the trees. Stro asked, “Thor hit too?”

“I think he hit a rock when we rolled.”

Thor said in goofy voice, “Gotta love that rock-n-roll.”

Stro looked at me with a startled expression. “Uh …”

“I’ve got him, you mind your dad. Sand?”

“I’m OK. It’s just a flesh wound.”

Mr. Hefling’s wound wasn’t, so over his father’s protest Stro picked him up in a fireman’s carry. I looked at Thor but he looked at me and said, “Not unless you want puke all down your back. I’ll be fine as soon as my stomach settles. Mostly-ly-ly shock I think.” The shivers grabbed him. His face was very pale and I hated like heck that I was going to have to drag him along when he really needed to find a place and get warmed up.

“Is it me or is it colder than it was not that long ago?” Thor asked.

I thought he was just chilled until I realized it was true. I looked at the sky and suddenly I got real worried. I looked at the guys. Some were still in a face-off with whoever was on the other bank but the few others were milling around like they didn’t know what direction to take.

“All right, that’s enough.” Hearing my voice as it rang with the dulcet tones that I’d learned from Coach they all stopped and just stared at me. My questions were simple and clipped. “Who’s on the other side?”

“Think it’s another bunch of Kemper’s people.”

“Think or know?”

One of them said, “Recognize one that came to the house a couple of weeks back. He was with Kemper then.”

“Where are the others?”

“Ran to do what Mr. Hefling said … firebreaks at the Narrows.”

I nodded. “I want an orderly fall back. Turner, help Sand. Stro, you’ve got your dad. Lawson, I want you and Mitchell to haul butt and let the others know we are on our way with injured.” Then I turned to the guys that were guarding our backs. “I want each end to fall back and head down the trail in pairs … outside to the middle which is those closest to the foot bridge. Don’t forget … break the trail through, don’t take either fork or you’ll wind up in the wrong place and take twice as long to get where you need to be. Rendezvous at the Narrows. Start …. now!”

Before they would go Sand wanted to know, “What about you and Thor?”

“Get going. We’ll bring up the rear.” He didn’t have any choice after that because Turner started pulling him away. I helped Thor put his pack on and then put my own on. The pack cut the wind off my back but it plastered my cold wet shirt to me giving Thor a sight that he attempted to leer at.

“I swun boy. Nothing stops you,” I joked half heartedly pulling my jacket closed, truly worried about the fact that he still seemed dazed.

“With you as fodder for my fantasies? Never expect anything less, no matter how old we get.” But he said it not in a dirty way but one that would have been fit for the most romantic candle lit dinner I could imagine. I prayed I’d get a chance to fulfill some of those fantasies he had as I slammed the last pieces of our rifles together where we’d stored them in the float bags to keep them from getting wet. The last pair from our side of the river ran by and I sent a spray from Thor’s automatic rifle across the bridge to give them something to think about before dragging him off down the trail after every one.

“Rochelle …”

I didn’t want to hear it.

“Rochelle …”

“Don’t say it Thor. Because if it makes its way out of your mouth you are going to have a lump on the other side of your forehead to match the first and you can go around looking like one of them drunk, sex-starved goats in Greek mythology.”

A snort and then he said, “Called a satyr Hon.”

“I don’t care what it’s called, you’re gonna look like one if you say it.”

I absolutely refused to entertain the notion of leaving him behind any more than he would have let me say such a thing. Lucky for him he’s a smart man and knew when to drop a subject a female didn’t have any intention of talking about. We were on a short bluff that ran near another piece of whitewater when a yell from ahead of us brought me skidding to a halt.

A young boy ran back to me; his coat was singed on one arm. “We can get through but my brother says to be careful. The fire crossed the river when a tree fell; nearly caught us.”

I nodded and then turned back around, rifle at the ready, when I heard yelling behind us. I kept praying under my breath, “Please take the fork, please take the fork, please take the fork …”

I danced trying to move forward without tripping while looking back at the same time, but no one ever appeared at our rear. Thor whispered, “Looks like He heard your prayer.”

I nodded but didn’t dare speak or he would have heard my own chattering teeth and started up again. The wind was cutting right through us and was cold and nasty. Then it felt like I was being hit with firefly sparks from a fire. I groaned. Ice storm.

Trying to look on the bright side when Thor realized why I groaned and then added his own I said, “This’ll help stop the fire.”

“Always the optimist,” Thor chuckled painfully.

We were falling farther and farther behind the others. Thor kept slipping and several times I was the one that almost took us down as the ground became glassy where the rocks came up through the dirt of the trail. An odd smell was on the air and I realized it was wet ashes. Just to be on the safe side I said a prayer of thanksgiving. Fire was one of the bigger things that could get too big for our diminished community to handle without God’s help. Then we did go down, hard enough that I would have cried if the wind hadn’t blown my eyes dry. One of my buttocks had landed on a very sharp stone.

We got ourselves back up but now we were both limping and I didn’t know who was helping who more. Finally I saw a knot of people waiting for us. Coach was the only adult left. “There’s no way to fight this. The storm and ice will either stop the fire or it won’t but we risk too much trying to stay out in it and fight. We’re all heading for home to prepare to move if need be.” Nodding in Thor’s direction he added, “He looks worse off than they made out. You sure you can make it?”

I looked around, “From here? Yeah, if the storm doesn’t get too much worse. I know a short cut up and over. What about Mr. Hefling?” I was leading Thor over to our horses that were behaving calmly just like war horses ought to.

“Hefling will be well cared for by Ms. Hefling and his boys, you just take care of you two. And if you can’t …”

I knew he was telling me to find a hole or make one. I nodded at him and the two younger boys that seemed to be stuck to him like glue. They flanked him as they rode away in one direction and Thor and I in the other.
 

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 81

My rear was thumping as hard as Thor’s head was probably doing. To say I wasn’t sitting easy in the saddle was an understatement. That and the fact that I was anxious about the horses being on an icy trail is what had me moving so slow that I noticed Thor sliding sideways in his saddle and caught him before he actually went off.

“Umph!”

“Thor!”

“I’m ‘kay … just … Hon, how much further is home?”

The fact that Thor would actually ask that had me searching his face in the gloaming that had fallen in the late afternoon. What I saw didn’t make me happy.

“How cold are you?”

“Can’t tell.”

That told me all I needed to know. I had to get Thor out of the cold and get a fire started. He was suffering from hypothermia. His body, not experiencing this kind of weather in many years, simply wasn’t acclimated enough to adjust the way mine had already started doing, though I knew I needed to get out of the weather soon as well. The problem was the path we were on didn’t have much shelter on it. I was considering whether to try and get one going under the trees but that would have left the horses to suffer. Then I saw a landmark and realized that this was the path that I was going to take Thor on to check out the strange mark on Uncle Bentley’s map.

I prayed. I don’t know exactly what I was praying for but whatever it was I was praying hard for it. At the exact point pinpointed on the map I stopped and looked around but didn’t see anything. Thor leaned over so heavy that I wasn’t expecting it and only the two horses kept him from landing on his head. I got him down to the ground and helped him over to a rocky outcrop hidden in some trees. I realized this was as good as it was going to get and tied the horses off and looked around for something to build a shelter with.

There were what I thought were some downed small trees and I decided to use them as braces. They didn’t want to give so I kicked them and they loosened a bit but not enough to drag them. Then I realized there was a large hollow spot beneath them. Even better, if I could just move some of the bigger stones around the opening I could even walk the horses underneath, it was that tall.

It took me fifteen minutes but I finally managed to pry the rocks out of the way. I went back for Thor only to find he’d been crawling in my direction before getting sick. “Thor?” I asked scared at how little he was moving.

“Tol … told you … I … I … I didn’t l-l-l-like l-l-little boats.”

“Lord, you’re frozen through. So am I for that matter. Duck your head.” I got him in and back into a surprisingly large space. So large in fact I couldn’t see the back end because it was so black. The horses were reluctant until they sensed the warmth that could be had out of the wind but it took the apples in my pocket to completely convince them.

Searching in my pack another prayer was answered when all of my gear turned out to be dry. I was beginning to understand that God made a habit of answering prayers that were honestly prayed, even the ones you don’t realize you are praying. I wound up my flashlight and looked around. I still couldn’t see to the back of what I realized was a cave but I did notice a fire ring and nearly a half cord of cut wood ready to be used. Putting two and two together I realized this had to be the location where Uncle Bentley had found the old treasure and that he must have used it frequently enough as a stopover during his tramps in the mountain that he kept wood stocked in it.

I was beginning to shake now that my core temp was starting to warm up again since we were out of the wind and ice. I was glad I had my flint and steel because I probably wouldn’t have been able to strike a match I was shaking so hard. While the fire ate up the tender and got into the bigger pieces of wood I started stripping Thor.

“You’re gonna kill me,” he mumbled.

No I wasn’t but there was still a draft that made undressing more than uncomfortable. I unsaddled the horses much to their pleasure and took their saddle blankets and made a door across the cave opening. The cave smelled a little like horse sweat but, in a moment of mirth, I thought if I could live after smelling Evans’ feet for weeks I could handle sweaty horse. Sweaty horse smell led me to think of wet dog smell and I had to put our pup from my mind and pray that she had the sense to burrow into the hay and that the cats would share her nest for warmth. The animals at the farm would have to be taken care of by God because I had my own immediate problems to deal with. Both Thor and the horses had to be dried off and fed.

Finally the cave started to warm and though it was still too cool for real comfort – like someone had set the air conditioning way too low – at least the worst of the cold was gone. I was finally able to dry the horses and strip Thor. I hung his wet clothes near the fire using a couple of limbs I pulled close. His rain pants weren’t bad so I helped him to slip those back on to keep up from being completely Adam and Eve. I wrapped a space blanket around him and then started shimmying out of my own wet togs.

I looked up after I had finished hanging my own clothes to find Thor staring intently. “Thor?”

“Come here.”

“Uh uh, you …”

“I said come here.” The angry command in his voice caught me off guard and I obeyed automatically before I even thought about it. I did however react when he tried to rudely yank my rain pants down on one side.

I yelped, “You want that other lump now or later?!”

“Hold still,” he ground out.

When I figured out what he was doing I said, “I’m fine, it’s just a bruise.”

He replied with a cuss word that had me giving him the same look Mom would give Dad on occasion. “There’s absolutely no need for that. I told you I’m fine.”

“That is not ‘just a bruise’. It’s as big as my hand and …”

I sighed and bent down, albeit painfully, and kissed him trying to distract him though I admit it felt wonderful to have him be so concerned for me when he himself was far worse off. “One of the times I fell my tush connected with a good sized rock. I’ll be sore but nothing’s broken. I’ve got plenty of padding back there.”

He swallowed. “Don’t … don’t try and distract me with your padding. Are you sure there’s no broken skin or anything? And how can you even tell, that’s one of the darkest bruises I’ve ever seen on you.”

“No broken skin. No broken bones. You on the other hand need those cuts looked at, though thank the good Lord above that bump on your head is going down. It is still nasty looking but at least it isn’t spreading.”

He reached up and gingerly felt the knot on his forehead. “I’m not dizzy anymore, or sick to my stomach. I don’t think I’m concussed at all; this is just a hematoma. It looks nasty but that’s about it and only hurts if I press on it.”

I jerked his hand away, “Then for Heaven’s sake don’t press on it. Let me see your nose and lip. Any cracked teeth?”

He sighed, “The nose and lip … I … I hit myself with the oar.”

“You …” I stopped and kept a serious face. Part of me wanted to laugh but another part of me … the part that had done it to myself before … kept me too sympathetic to crack a smile. “Whatever, it has to smart. I’m going to make some warm salt water and I want you to rinse your mouth out with it and then I’ve got a little tube of cold sore medicine that will at least take the sting out of the outside part and protect it from infection. Bridge of your nose looks bruised.”

“Good thing I don’t wear glasses then or I’d be worse off.” He was a good sport for all he was embarrassed. “When it warms up you are going to teach me to kayak.”

I smiled and told him, “Sounds like fun. There are places on the river further downstream from where we got out that can be canoed too. That’s more relaxing and you can take more gear.”

At my sudden quiet he asked, “What?”

“I just …” I shook myself. “Memories. Someone always had to stay home and mind the farm and Mom didn’t care for the river except if we were fishing. Canoeing and kayaking just weren’t here thing so it was always just Dad and I or the Crew or a piece of it if we were just goofing around as friends. We didn’t keep a lot of animals so I never really thought of it.”

“Thought of what?”

“The farm. I love the place but I just realized how … how stuck … I’m going to be. Animals have to be cared for every day, especially if we get a milk cow. You have to keep them safe from predators who will know if you aren’t around. The garden is going to be so important from here on out because if something doesn’t make there is no going to the store to make up the difference in our supplies. I just … Every time I think I’ve got just a bit of my old normalcy back I realize it is only further away. The old times and old ways are never coming back are they?”

Thor was kind but blunt, “Not for several years at a minimum. Now scoot over here and help warm me up.”

I gave a watery chuckle and said, “You stay ‘warm’ all the time.”

“And whose fault is that Hon?”

We both chuckled but fatigue was finally pulling at us both hard as the adrenaline rush drained away leaving us feeling a bit hollow. Slowly I felt him putting more and more weight on my back and I realized he was falling asleep so I gently laid us both over and when I heard his first snore I untangled myself and got up.

Hypothermia will sap all of your strength and I was impressed that Thor had lasted as long as he had … not surprised since he’d proven himself so many times before, but definitely impressed. I felt my t-shirt and it was already dry but my flannel was still damp so I left it to continue toasting. I dragged on my dry shirt and put on my gloves before sticking my hand outside and breaking off some of the icicles that were already forming. As ice storms went it didn’t look like it was going to be too bad but it was going to be dark within an hour or so and I wanted some more grass collected and water boiled so that I wouldn’t have to go out in the dark looking for it.

I left the bulk of the icicles piled immediately outside the mouth of the cave but brought the grass and two big icicles in, broke the ice into small chunks. I put the chunks into the pots from our mess kits to melt and then boil. I’d use one pot of water for rehydrating a dry soup mix I’d packed and the other for some warm Russian tea with the blend I used being more Russian than tea. I knew that Thor would want coffee but hypothermia and caffeine is a bad mix that can lead to a racing heart and worse. I’d save his coffee for in the morning on the off chance we were able to head home early in the day.

The smell of the soup eventually woke Thor back up. “Hey!” he said sleepily.

“Hey yourself Big Boy,” I smiled back at him. “Ready for something warm to fill the hollow spaces with?”

Was he ever and as I suspected he wasn’t too keen on the idea of not having his coffee but he only grumbled a little and not at me. After we ate I checked and our clothes were dry. I threw him his but he didn’t put them on. “What are you doing?!”

“Acclimatizing myself.”

“Acclima …!!” I parked my hands on my hips and started tapping my foot. “Put some clothes on! If you want to acclimatize yourself then do it when I’m not worried about you catching your death of pneumonia. There’s no telling if you got any of that river water in your lungs and …”

“You could always join me … keep me warm.”

I looked and through the dancing light of the fire, sure enough he had that twinkle in his eyes. Well I wasn’t one to enjoy wishfully thinking about missed opportunities, not to mention I was in need of a little comforting myself. The only thing I said was, “Careful of the bruise, it smarts.”

I woke up to the feel of a horse nosing my hair. Thor groaned and asked where I was going and I told him it was either get up and put some more grass out for the horses or risk their displeasure. We both got up despite it was close enough to our regular bed time that it seemed kind of silly. Thor took care of the call of nature and I fed the horses and then following his example. I came back into the cave to find Thor getting dressed.

“Enough acclimatizing?” I asked with a giggle.

He chuckled back. “That’ll hold me for a while.” As he buttoned his flannel he asked, “How far back does this go?”

“I don’t know, I’ve had other things on my mind,” I answered. To be honest I still did. Thor was still under par though he’d been trying to show me otherwise. I wasn’t one hundred percent myself. I wasn’t real enthusiastic about the idea of spelunking but I grabbed our ropes and my light that clipped to the brim of my baseball cap.

“And where do you think you’re going?” Thor asked.

“The space back there disappears into blackness where the ceiling drops. You’ve already cracked your head once, I figure it is my turn next. If I can’t get through back there you sure won’t be able to. It’ll just save us some time if I go first.”

“I hate it when you make sense,” he mouthed real sassy.

I grinned like I’d got one over on him but we were both just playing to kill time. I tied one end of the rope onto my waist and he tied off the other end onto his waist. The ceiling dropped down a couple of feet and was jagged so I was bent over and keeping an eye so that my head didn’t bang anything. Unfortunately I should have also been watching my feet better. Suddenly my right foot came down expecting to meet solid ground and instead found air. The floor had fallen away but lucky for me when I fell it was only about two feet and not down some shaft.

“Oooooooo a ooooowwwwwww!”

“Rochelle!!”

“I’m … oh Lord … I’m fine Thor. I just … ah geez … landed on my already bruised sitter.”

“Ro – chelle,” he ground out. “If you don’t …”

“I told you, I’m okay. The ceiling doesn’t just drop, the floor did too all of a sudden. Just a big step down but I missed it trying not to hit my head on anything. You should be … able … holy cow!”

A snarled, “You realize I’m having a heart attack here woman …right?!”

“This is too hard to explain. Tie the line off on something and then follow it back. I’m in a small alcove or room. I mean seriously … someone turned this into a room.”

It was less than two minutes before Thor joined me. We were able to stand up in the room but he only had a couple of inches to spare. He couldn’t have even stood on tiptoe without bashing his head. Because of this, and the fact of what we were seeing was so strange, we moved slowly around the room.

With only the light that came from my brim light and his wind up lantern we saw a metal frame sat in the corner on which was suspended a hammock. A strip of wooden pegs had been hung along one side of the room and there were two shaker style chairs hanging on them as well as a small, folding table. An old pot belly stove sat in another corner but the stove piping wasn’t hooked up, it lay in a pile beside it. On another wall there was another set of pegs and from them hung some snow shoes, a fishing pole, and a couple of kerosene lanterns. The strangest thing however was a bunch of metal coffee cans that were piled deep and high against the last wall.

“Those aren’t coffee cans Hon,” Thor told me when I asked the obvious question.

“They sure look like it; old metal coffee cans before they went to the all plastic ones when they mandated only the plastic ones were still allowed when I was little. Dad has a bunch out in the barn that he would throw nails and screws into.”

Thor picked one up and shook it. Sure didn’t sound like it had coffee in it. Instead of the shooshing noise ground coffee made it rattled a little like small marbles.

“Look around for a can opener.” We couldn’t find one so Thor used his multi-tool. Looking inside Thor said, “That old man.”

“Who? Uncle Bentley?”

He handed me the can and while I looked inside it Thor said, “Hon, it looks like he was fixing himself up a retreat or hideout. I don’t think he was finished with it though. Or … possibly he was in the process of dismantling it.”

“Why do you …? Oh.” Thor was looking at spots on the floor that looked like they’d held more of the cans at one point and another place that something else with four legs had once sat. Looking more closely I realized there was other evidence of more having been in the room at one time.

About that moment there was a loud cough from back near the fire. “Rocky girl? That you?”

“Mr. Dink!”

Thor and I scrambled back the way we had come and my jaw dropped. It was Mr. Dink all right but there was a woman with him.

“Mind if we share your fire? It’s more than a bit cold out tonight.”

I said “of course” while Thor got some more wood to put on the fire. I got another few mugs of tea warmed up and Mr. Dink pulled two speckleware mugs out of his pack.

“This here’s Louise. She don’t talk much but she’s a good cook.”

I looked over just in time to see the older woman blush in pleasure before ducking her head.

“Our base camp got burned over by the fire and I was heading to the farm when I spied the door there,” he said nodding his head towards the horse blankets. “Stuck my head in and then heard your voices. This one of the Griffey boy’s play houses?”

I looked at Thor who in turn asked, “He had more than one?”

“Oh yeah. He claimed territory all over these mountains like he owned ‘em or sumpin’. He tried to take all the choice spots until some of us started gettin’ fed up and dismantling ‘em as fast as he could put ‘em together. He finally got it through his head and kept ‘em down to a reasonable number and didn’t fuss too much when one of us had to use ‘em in an emergency so long as we cleaned up before we left.”

I asked, “By ‘us’ you mean the other men of the mountain?”

“Yeah … and the tramps and such that would go off and try and become one of us. Some would stay, some would die, most went on someplace else or back where they come from. The life ain’t for everyone. Louise here…” He stopped when she shook her head. “Aw, ain’t nothin’ ter be ashamed of. Weren’t yer fault. Times is hard and who woulda wanted to be stuck in an old folks home anyway? Just so yer kids could say they did all they could fur ya?” He turned back to us. “Better to live and die free than to be forced into one o’ them places you just wait around to die. Buck and yer ma understood that. They never made the old ladies go even when everyone else told ‘em it would have been easier on them if they had.”

I shook my head. “No. Dad would never have let the Grandmothers go to a nursing home unless they had wanted it themselves. That would have killed them faster than old age did.”

Mr. Dink looked at Miz Louise and said, “See. Told ya she had sense. If sumpin’ ever happens to me you come to Rocky … and the big ‘un is named Thor. They’ll take care of ye.”

“Yes ma’am,” I said. After a quick glance at Thor I said, “Ya’ll are welcome to the cabin if you’d like.”

I expected a fuss but Mr. Dink surprised me. “Well that’s right neighborly but we’re heading for the old stone house what sits off the river. You know the one?” At my nod he said, “Louise is used ter things being a might … er … cleaner than an old bachelor like me let ‘em go to. Know the fireplace is sound as I’ve used it a time or two this past year. Fix the rotten places on the door and put new glass in the winders and it’ll be a right nice and tight little place. Not too far from the river that we cain’t have a fresh fish for our dinner when we aim to and that little spring that’s close by will do for drinking water.”

That was so out of character from the man I had known my whole life that my thoughts must have shown on my face. “Louise here … she’s a good ol’ girl but she cain’t survive in this forest on her own all the time. She don’t fuss when I feel the urge to go tramping but with her around I don’t feel the old urge so much. Settling down into one or two spots seems like it might be just fine.” He laughed as my mouth only fell open more. “Reckon Thor here told yer what I said.” I swung around to look at Thor who gave me blank face and I remembered he’d put me off so many times I’d actually forgotten to ask what Mr. Dink had said last time he’d been at the farm. “I dreamed my old life was going to end. Took it to mean my life was going to end period since I couldn’t imagine any other kind o’ life. But God has sumpin’ different in mind. He sent Louise ter me.”

A whispered “Or you to me” was the first words I’d heard from the lady.

“Yup, or that. Either way, looks like He thinks it’s time fur me ter try something new. He shore do know how to keep life interesting, I tell you that. Who woulda thunk at my age I’d find me a Cindyrelly.”

Miz Louise ducked her head again but I saw she was also smiling. I was trying to put my teeth back in my mouth when Thor asked Mr. Dink if he would mind taking a look at what we found and see what he thought of it.

When they came back up Mr. Dink said, “See Louise, God does provide.”

The four of us finally settled down and slept deeply. It was late and the day had truly taken its toll. Tomorrow was another day and I tried to remain as sure as Mr. Dink did about God’s provision. There just always seemed to be a problem of some type to face and the coming days of winter I knew would be no exception.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 82

I woke up as Thor stirred and sat up gingerly wincing at what I knew would be a spreading rainbow on my hip … a spreading, painful rainbow. In deference to our company there was no mushy morning stuff but he did run his hand up my arm and ask me quietly if I was OK when he noticed my wince.

“I will be as soon as I limber up,” I whispered back.

Mr. Dink was awake as well and told Miz Louise, “Stay under the covers Cindyrelly. Let me get this here fire going to warms things up. The sun ain’t rizz yet and there’s hoarfrost on the blankets telling me it’s too cold to move out just yet.”

Sure enough as Thor and I went out to take care of our morning ablutions the blanket crackled and the grass snapped. I was more than happy to get back in the cave where the fire was warming things back up. Thor had been quicker than I and when I came back in he was returning from the back of the cave. “If you bring in some of those icicles I’ll take my turn at breakfast.”

“What’s in that one?” I asked.

“Quick oats to go with those blueberries,” he said nodding his chin towards the other can we had opened the day before.

“Did you get lucky or did you figure out how they’re labeled?”

He turned the bottom of the can towards me when he got closer to the fire and in small, fading handwritten print was the contents and a date. “I tipped a couple over and the dates average between five and ten years ago.”

I sat back on my heels and then looked at Mr. Dink who nodded. Turning back to Thor I said, “That’s about when Aunt Bettie Sue … died.”

Mr. Dink added, “The Griffey boy got passing strange there for a while. Acted guilty and nervous over the fact she was on that winding road all on her own. It weren’t until that other brother of his died – that one that were so fond of Bettie – that he seemed to come to hisself though he never were quite the same after that.”

I didn’t say anything. Uncle Bentley was dead; let his deeds got to the grave with him. The urge to cough caught me off guard. I stepped to the cave opening and spat a wad of phlegm. Thor asked, “Get a face full of smoke?”

I shrugged. It wasn’t the smoke. I’d woken up with a tight chest but there was nothing to be done about it and easier to say nothing than to worry Thor and activate his occasionally overprotective streak. The warm oatmeal helped to break up what the cough hadn’t and I felt some relief.

As the sun rose a relatively warm rain began to fall; not hard but enough to melt all of the ice and give greater assurance that a major forest fire had been averted. All through breakfast and afterwards Mr. Dink kept getting up and standing at the cave entrance before sitting back down again until finally Miz Louise whispered, “I can do it.”

He shook his head, “A break at our age is nothing to fool with and them boots you’re wearing ain’t broke in yet.”

A pointed conversation ensued that resulted in them traveling with us to their destination. We put Miz Louise up on one of the horses and loaded a bunch of the large cans into tote sacks on the other horse. Thor and I loaded more cans into our packs and Mr. Dink put some in a sling he wore across his back. We put a dent in the supply of cans in the cave, but not a big one. We hid the entrance to the cave before we left and covered our tracks then slowly made our way home.

“Mr. Dink …”

“Rocky Girl, I’ve got my mind set. We need to take advantage of the warm weather while we have it. And besides we’re still honeymoonin’ and don’t want to embarrass you youngins.” We that certainly put a period to that conversation. I saw Thor’s grin and was compelled, despite my concerns and growing fatigue, to smile as well. The idea of a honeymooning Mr. Dink was fairly awesome and I wished fervently that my parents had been around to see it.

The Stone House was really old and built of smooth river rocks. No one was sure just how old it was but it showed up on many of the really old surveyor maps for the area as a known landmark. Not even my grandmothers – despite their knowledge of local history – knew who built it though it was likely some relative of mine since it was located between the acreage that had been in my father’s family since the area had been settled and the land that had been owned by the mother’s family who had been in the area just as long though both had changed surnames more than once. It was a rarity for this area because it had a slate roof over ancient beams. My family had been forced to repair the slate roof a few times but only once every couple of generations. Our venture crew had done it a few years ago so it would last well beyond my lifetime unless something fell on it like a tree.

The fireplace was made of local granite and large though not as big as the one in the old summer kitchen between the cabin and the kitchen garden. You could roast a decent sized pig on the spits in that one. The front door was a single slab of thick oak so old it was practically petrified. It had a couple of bad places in it where some hikers had vandalized it before I was born trying to break in but it was still more than serviceable and would keep out most of what would want to come in without permission. The one weakness was the flooring inside and on the wide covered porch.

The flooring had been rotted badly around the edges of the room when my father’s uncle replaced it with a puncheon floor of pine. Even with no wood-to-ground contact the floor and porch had not stood the test of time. He had also planked over the old root cellar.

We spoke of what we could do to fix things which made the trip seem to fly by despite how carefully we were forced to travel due to mud and Miz Louise’s lack of horseback experience. We got them set up and made sure they had at least three days of wood and promised to bring a wagon load as soon as we could. We also filled several containers of water and helped to cover the window that had several panes of glass missing.

We left the honeymooners and finished our own trek home. I was anxious and worried about what I would find there and could hardly wait to get through the gate. It was so silent that I nearly started crying before prying the barn door open and then nearly started crying at how good God had been. The chickens complained as the cold air blustered in, the cow and steer looked at me like I’d committed a rude gesture. I had to coax Lady but only a moment before she turned into one happy pup. The cats – or at least Barney – were glad enough to rub Thor’s leg before sauntering off to do whatever cats do in their spare time.

I was feeling chilled but there were chores to do. Luckily for me I was not alone but even with both of us working it was nearly time to start dinner before we made it inside. By that time I was stiff with cold.

We went into the house and Thor said, “I’m going to check the radio on the off chance Hefling is still on schedule.”

I followed him to the basement and as soon as we fired up the batteries and turned the radio on we heard Mr. Hefling’s voice. When Thor responded with a pre-designated code word the yells coming out of our radio were so loud Thor and I winced.

Needless to say there was relief but due to communication limitations not much could pass between us except assurances on both sides that all was well. Stro said that he would make contact the next day and we shut down the radio after that.

“Well, the seven dwarfs seem to be happy that Snow White is home safe and sound,” Thor grinned caught halfway between appreciation at their concern and irritation at the number of concerned young men.

I threw a pillow at him and said, “So Snow, how do you like the attention?”

“Hah! It’s you they’re sniffing around.” He was trying to joke but I heard something else underneath it. He saw me notice and then he shook his head. “Ignore me. I trust you, I just keep running into the fact that you had a life before I came along.”

“Yeah, well I love you and you’re my life now so get over it. I didn’t ask you to dump your crew; if you had chosen to stay I would have stayed with you where ever you went. But since you did decide to come with me here, don’t ask me to dump my old crew when they could prove useful to our ability to make a successful go of it here.” I wasn’t angry but I wasn’t in the mood to be gentle either. I climbed the stairs to the kitchen with Thor on my heels.

“What are you doing?” Thor asked when he saw me putting the big kettle on the lit stove.

“Bath water,” I said tiredly.

“You OK Hon?”

“Just tired of being cold.”

“Sure that’s all?”

Suddenly feeling everything that had happened I asked, “After yesterday that’s enough doncha think?”

He came over and took the jar of chicken soup out of my hand that I had removed from the cabinet. “Look at me.” After searching my face he sighed. “It’s not me you’re upset with. It’s this whole situation. It’s been harder on you than you’ve been letting on.” It was a statement, not a question.

I turned and picked the jar back up and proceeded to fix dinner. “I can’t stand it when people don’t get along. No … I hate it. I understand it happens, of course it does, look what we went through when we were trying to get together … it just seems unnecessary when life is already so hard. And … and this finding out this … dark side or whatever lived inside people I thought I knew …” I shrugged, not able to find the exact words I wanted to express how I felt.

But Thor summed it up for me. “You feel betrayed.”

I looked at him, startled that he understood.

“Hon, I’ve been there. People I thought I knew, people I trusted to cover my back, slid a knife between my ribs instead both figuratively and literally. A company I thought would be there and back me up … wasn’t. Even a government – a people – I served with my life on the line spit on the necessity of what I did. You … learn I guess you could say. Learn who you can trust and when and under what circumstances you can’t. You also learn that everyone has a dark side, just not everyone acts on it.”

A little impatiently I said, “I know that. Don’t forget the kind of stuff I’ve grown up facing.”

He nodded, “I haven’t … but I think you have. You wanted … no Hon just listen … you wanted all of that stuff to die with the death of our modern age. You … for lack of a better word you romanticized your home town and the people in it. But just because the modern age has died doesn’t mean the people’s personalities rebooted to something gentler and kinder than they were before.”

I was stirring the pot with my back to him. I was listening even if I didn’t seem like it. He gave me a hug from behind. “Hon, these are the same people they were before it’s just the circumstances have exaggerated both their good attributes and their flaws. War is always like that.”

I said hesitantly, “I suppose it has been a type of war … everything that has happened.” I sighed but it wasn’t just a sigh unfortunately. There was a very audible wheeze underneath.

“What was that?!” Thor asked.

I cleared my throat and said, “Just some phlegm.”

“Ro-chelle.”

“Don’t start.”

‘Round and ‘round we went but I wasn’t winning the battle. It seemed like it only took moments before I found myself in a bath of hot water with eucalyptus drops in it, then dried and stuffed into a flannel nightie, and finally tucked into a wing back chair near the stove with a supersized hand shoving a bowl of chicken soup in my face.

“Thor, chill … I’m not made of glass, I won’t break.”

“Uh huh. Next time my chest sounds like that I’ll remind you of what you said when you want to tie me to the bed, stick a funnel in my mouth, and pump me full of whatever noxious tea is at hand.”

I coughed and said, “Hey, have you been reading my diary to find out what my fantasies are?”

“Ha … ha … ha. Seriously, your feet come off that stool and …”

I didn’t hear the rest of it because I started coughing again and in earnest that time. Every cough seemed to take a little bit more energy out of me.

He declared, “As soon as I get the room and bed warmed you’re going upstairs.”

“OK. But do me a favor and help me make some coltsfoot tea first.”

“Another one of your teas?” he asked with flaring nostrils.

“Yes, another one of my teas. I can’t use much of this one because it has alkaloids in it but a short term consumption at the concentration I’ll be making it …”

“Rochelle …” he gave a warning growl.

“Relax Thor, I wouldn’t take it if it wasn’t safe. I just want to kick this stuff in my chest before it really does turn into something. Winter colds are miserable.”

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 83

I was still coughing the next morning but mostly knocking the stuff loose and able to spit it out. It was disgusting but much better than the alternative. I wasn’t hungry but since I didn’t have any real fever to speak of Thor insisted that I at least eat a scrambled egg and a piece of toasted bread.

I was dozing in the chair by the stove when Lady let out a sound that was half way between a bark and a bay. Thor had been cleaning our guns at the kitchen table and we both jumped about three feet. He pushed me back into the chair as he flew up to check on what had set her off. He was peeking out a window on the front of the house when he started laughing. He opened the door and stepped out but I still heard him holler, “Need some help?”

I was still trying to slide my shoes and jacket on to see what was happening when he came back inside followed by Stro whose hair was standing up in every direction. Thor was still chuckling as he picked me up and sat me back in the chair. They’d brought cold air in with them and though I was dressed I started dragging the heavy quilt back over me.

I tried to respond to Thor’s, “You up for company?” but the cold air finally hit my lungs and I started coughing again.

“Wow, she does sound bad,” Stro said in surprise.

The look I gave them both would have peeled paint if they’d been the sides of buildings. “Knock it off. What’s wrong to bring you out here?”

“Nothing that won’t keep if you’re really sick,” he said looking at Thor for some help.

“I swun I’m gonna throw a table at you two. I’m not made out of spun sugar. I won’t melt. And for your information my brain isn’t made of mush. I may not be up for another repeat of the last couple of days but …”

Thor and Stro raised their hands in mock surrender, “All right, all right. Man Rocky, don’t get your tights in a twist.”

“Sorry,” I grumped. “I just don’t like being sick.”

“Ha! Like I’m supposed to be surprised by that.” He turned to Thor. “If she ever really gets sick you better have some flame retardant long johns because she’ll toast your tail for sure.”

Thor smiled and said, “Found that out already. Want some coffee?”

“Are you serious? I’d like to take that cup back for Dad instead if it won’t put you out, but I wouldn’t just go around talking about coffee casual like. I’m as fond of it as the next person but there’s a couple around the area that swears they would kill for a cup and knowing ‘em I’m not too sure they’re just joking about it.”

While Thor poured him a cup, Stro got introduced to Lady. She agreed he wasn’t a danger but she never completely warmed up to him either, preferring to watch him from under the chair I was sitting in. Like most southern conversations hello’s and how-de-do’s were exchanged before the main topic was gotten around to. “Dad is pretty anxious to hear how you made it. He and Coach were really relieved to find out that it had been the weather and not the fire that delayed you. Granny C is gonna want to know what you’re doing for that cough too so you might as well write it down for me.”

I rolled my eyes but reached into the junk drawer and pulled out a notepad and pencil. Thor asked, “Were we the only ones that had a hard time getting home?”

“No, but you were the only ones that didn’t make it to a house. I’ve gotten stuck out in an ice storm before, it’s a wonder you didn’t freeze.”

I coughed before saying, “Fit in one of those alcoves for protection. It did for us well enough.”

Thor’s face remained innocently placid but he came over in the guise of putting the coffee pot back on the warming tray and patted my shoulder approvingly. He asked, “Had any more trouble from any of those in Kemper’s camp?”

“Uh uh. Fire run most of ‘em in the opposite direction from what we can tell. Did have a few locals try to return to the fold so to speak but their family is deciding what to do with ‘em, none of our business unless they start trouble with us.”

To change the subject I asked him, “What were you laughing at anyway?” And then looking at Stro I asked, “What did you need help with? And how did you get mud all the way up in your hair?”

Stro rolled his eyes and Thor chuckled again. Stro snorted then said, “If you think this is bad you should see my coveralls and hat that I left in the vestibule.” But then Stro added his chuckle to Thor’s. “But then again trying to run three hogs through the muddy forest on lead ropes doesn’t exactly make for easy traveling.”

“Hogs?!” I yelped and then had to cough again.

At my point Thor handed me my cup of mint and honey tea – I’d coughed so much my throat had gotten irritated – and I drank a few more sips as Stro explained, “We think the fire drove ‘em down from the ridge. We woke up with ‘em banging around in one of the sheds and making enough noise to wake the dead. Knocked one of Dad’s ratchet sets all over the floor, whole set of wrenches came off the wall too. And they knocked over a trashcan we had the dog’s extra kibble in and they were going to town. I don’t know who was angrier, Dad or the dogs. Granny C had a good laugh at it and then started shoutin’ orders. We’ve got most of ‘em quarantined from the rest of ours but Granny said to bring those three to you since I was coming this way. She said if you don’t have the feed you can rake together some acorns and stuff like that and it’ll get ‘em through the winter until you can on fodder and garden scraps in the spring.”

I nodded then had a thought, “I’m sure we appreciate it but there has to be folks worse off than we are, though we’d be grateful if you didn’t say anything to the others.”

“Nah, don’t sweat it. The folks with sense know your family has always took care of themselves and made do. My family is the same and there’s several more that are the same … us, Coach’s family, the Lindenhalls, Sand’s people, a few others like that. Then there are the folks like Jimmy Ray’s family that mostly have it together but are gonna have to get used to not having all the modern stuff to help ‘em through.”

Thor asked something that I’d been meaning to ask since we’d gotten back but almost been afraid to. “How many people are left in this area, just the ones that we’ve seen?”

“Lord no. Dad figures there’s as many as five hundred people between here and Taylor’s Valley … maybe more … it’s just that they’re all spread out. Ask Rocky, there’s families that go up into the mountains and only come down a couple of times a year to restock. Kemper’s group was the most organized … or well that’s not exactly what I mean; more like that was the biggest number all concentrated together. Some of us have talked about what this winter is going to do to folks. And Rocky, you may not agree with what was decided but you haven’t been here and while me and the guys will listen to you it may take a while for the others to.” He glanced briefly at Thor.

I said, “In other words that just like before, they’d be more likely to listen to Thor than that strange Charbonneau girl.”

“Aw Rocky …”

I shook my head. “It’s all right Stro. I’ve explained to Thor how things were. To be honest … I didn’t expect it but I know I should have.”

Stro had the look of a person that wanted to deny the truth but couldn’t. “Not everyone is like that and … to be honest Sand has said that people would be stupid to keep acting like that, especially with Thor here around. Your dad was a good man Rocky but he didn’t like fighting so avoided it by keeping you home as much as he could. They fought in different ways than out in the open. When you wanted to do something he or your ma would head it up to give you a chance, to make it safe for you. All except for football, that’s the one thing you did on your own. And in the end you know how that turned out.”

“Yeah, a lot of good things happened and I made some great friends.” Stro smiled a little and we bumped fists. “But Stro, I never pretended to be anything other than a girl. I never figured I’d go to college on a football scholarship or play in the pros like some of you guys dreamed of. It hurt to get sidelined but it didn’t kill me. I always knew my life would change.”

He mumbled, “Don’t reckon any of us figured that our lives would change this much though.”

“No. That’s a certainty,” I agreed. “So what was this decision you were talking about?”

“What it boils down to is the resources are going to the folks that are most likely to use ‘em best and hold ‘em longest.”

Thor asked, “Survival of the fittest?”

“Yes … and no. It’s just ... look, it sounds bad but like I said, we’ve been over this and over this and if you’ll let me explain I think you’ll understand.” At our cautious nods he started. “You already know about the riots and how many people we lost and the sickness. Resources got used up. Everyone kept wanting to believe that someone would show up and make things right. Even Dad had a hard time believing what was happening at first. Mom … Mom absolutely refused to accept that FEMA or the National Guard or the military weren’t going to come riding in like the cavalry. Believe it or not there are still people like that; the ones that check the tv and the light switches every morning. There aren’t many of them left but there are still some. Thankfully most of them have either left or … or gone on.”

Thor said, “You mean died.”

“Yeah, pretty much. Those of us that are left … like I said, you got some good ones and then, some variety of others. We don’t know yet how Kemper’s death is going to affect things. But the bottom line is there is only so much … stuff left to go around until we can plant again in the spring and after that it is probably only going to get worse for a while. Those of us strong enough will last through the winter. For some though it isn’t going to matter how much stuff they have, they aren’t going to make it. We … all of us … are trying to keep the strong strong so that come spring we’ll still be strong and can plant the bigger fields, help the weaker families that are just holding on. Most of us that qualify as strong have been fighting from the beginning to survive. There is … I don’t know exactly, but Granny said that folks are entitled to keep what they’ve worked for and earned and that charity should be willing and not at the cost of the whole kit and caboodle as she put it.”

Thor seemed to understand more than I did. “You’re talking about triage. The ones that can be helped best are helped first and the more help it is going to take the further towards the end of the line for resources.”

Stro shrugged, “Yeah, Dad might have called it that.” He looked at me and saw the face I was making. “Rocky, please understand. None of us like it either … well, most of us don’t like it. We’re saving what we can so that come spring we can help out those that have been able to pull through.”

“You could help everyone a little and …”

“No. That’s the thing Rocky, we can’t. We just can’t help everyone. We tried, it didn’t work. We planned it out on paper six ways from Sunday. Those of us that were breaking our backs to make a go of it this summer couldn’t keep helping those that weren’t helping themselves and be able to keep our own fed at the same time. We encouraged families to move in together and try and cut some of the work load but you know how that goes. It’s never a good idea unless it’s their idea first.”

I was trying not to be judgmental but all I could say was, “You’re right, I wasn’t here, I wasn’t walking in your shoes. Just don’t ask me to stand by and watch some little kid or older folks starve because they can’t take care of themselves.”

“And we didn’t either … when they’d let us help. But I’ll be honest, there ain’t that many like that left. They were the weakest and they were the first to go. Specially if they were on medications. Someone in a family would die and then before you knew it the kids had been taken in or someone had fetched the elderly and moved ‘em in. It’s mostly worked out. There’s be some abuse … kids used as free labor … but it don’t last long once the word gets out. But in the end, we’ve all just been stretched so thin we had to make the hard choices.”

I asked, a little angrily, “Then why bring those hogs to us?!”

“Because nobody is a fool. First off you and Thor … man, I don’t think you know what the two of you look like together. Next, you didn’t come in here trying to take over or bringing an army with you or anything. And you … you ain’t tried to take revenge on anyone for the way you got treated. Lotta people were actually scared when they heard you were back in town … ‘cause even you ain’t bothered to remember how some treated you others have. Our bunch, we know what you can do and we want you on our team and it looks like we get two for the price of one with the Thor here.”

Thor asked, “Did your father send you here to persuade us?”

“No but Sand suggested I explain things so that you two didn’t feel you were being used or that we expected you to join in on a plan you didn’t have a hand in making. Just think on it. I’m not the brightest crayon in the box so I might have not gotten it out right. Make a list of questions and ask Sand or Coach, they know how to answer without creating more questions. None of us is trying to tell you what to do or how to run your own business. We just … look, things are bad enough … we don’t want hard feelings between anybody. It’s just been awful difficult trying to get organized and we’re playing catch up. We want to try and organize some salvaging parties to go through the town. The people who participate share in what is gathered up, those that don’t help … don’t get.”

Thor asked one last question, “Of those five hundred you mentioned, any of them really a threat to Rochelle?”

“Honestly? If things were different I could name a few but things being what they are they don’t have time to do much more than survive from day to day. I’d be more worried about a general jealousy for what you have here than anything specific to do with Rocky.”

As they talked about people that I knew I just couldn’t seem to drum up any real interest in it. The whole triage thing had thrown me for a loop and it gave me unpleasant things to think about. I’d also coughed a lot during the night and as a result hadn’t slept well. The tea and the warmth from the fire had me drifting. The quilt must have slipped because the next thing I really remember is Thor pulling it up and saying, “Hey … Stro’s going with me to haul some wood.”

I croaked, “That’s my job.”

“Your job is to get rid of this cough. You want me to light the fire upstairs?”

“No, waste of wood.”

He nodded, “We’ll be gone most of the rest of the day. We’ll take a load to Mr. Dink, a wagonload to his place, and then we’ll bring back a load for us.”

“Good. That way we don’t owe for them hogs,” I said relieved.

“Thought so myself. Don’t try and fix dinner …”

“Don’t mother hen me. I’m just tired, not fragile.”

He cocked his eyebrow and said, “You want me to tie you to that bed woman?”

“Promises, promises,” I said on a tired laugh.

We both heard a muttered, “Geez” from Stro so we laid off the mushy stuff. When Stro went outside to put his coveralls back on Thor got real serious. “Anyone besides Strother know how to get to the farm? What about his dad or Lawson?”

Trying to focus I said, “Lawson’s been here but never on foot and never by himself. Mr. Hefling has been here but not on foot and … I … I don’t think since the forestry service shifted that road. Coach is married to some kind of shirt tail cousin to Mom so he’s been to that side where the orchard is but it’s probably been years. Sand, Johnson, and Sarah of course but …” My head was really starting to hurt.

“What I’m asking is should I worry about someone just showing up while I’m gone.”

“Huh? No … I doubt it. Stro probably had to start before daylight to walk all this way even taking the short cuts. I don’t think any of the others would bother … well maybe Sand but he’s likely got his hands full with Sarah.”

Stro had walked back to the kitchen and snorted a laugh before saying, “That there is a mouthful if there ever was one. Whoooeeee didn’t she lay into us all when she found out what we’d gone planning to do. She’ll keep Sand and Johnson close for a while if she has her way … and she normally does. Hey Rocky … uh Thor she don’t look too good.” He added that worriedly.

“Then I look about like I feel right now. It’s the tea. I need to sleep. Go. I’ll be fine. Lock the door. Take that jar of stew to the Honeymooners. But put a pan of water for Lady before …” I was already curled up in the chair and just wanted to sleep off the sick.

The last thing I vaguely remember is Thor tucking the quilt around me and banking the fire in the stove. Then there was a long quiet time. After that Lady started howling but I couldn’t seem to care too much then came some muffled voices and I was being picked up and carried and then laid someplace soft.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 84

“I shouldn’t have left her,” growled a voice quietly.

“Boy, I’ve heard you sing that song until I’m down right tired of it. Now sit and put some food in that body of yours or when Rocky wakes up she is going to be highly perturbed,” said an older woman in a kind but firm tone.

“Her name is Rochelle … Ro-Chelle. You all treat her like … like I don’t know what. But she isn’t some …”

“Now you listen to me, what we call that child is what she has always been called and she’s never seemed to mind it. In fact you’re the only one that has ever been able to call her Rochelle without receiving what for. It’s a name, that’s all, and one she has done proud. My own sister was called Fred or Junior by everyone, including our father and grandparents. She hated the name our mother gave her … Frederica. She just plum wouldn’t answer to it from the time she was little enough to have an opinion, wanted to get our daddy’s notice so insisted people call her Fred like him, or if he was around people would call her Junior. Wasn’t nothing spiteful to it, just was the way it was. And you know that there is nothing spiteful about calling her Rocky, you’re just upset ‘tis all.”

A rumbly grumbly sound was the only response I remember hearing. Then some more time passed.

“It’s been three days.” This time the voice sounded cracked, lifeless.

“Aye, it has. I can count same as you. And aye, it’s … worrying … but she’s been trying to respond nearly ever’ time you’ve called her. You ain’t let that poor child go more than an hour without trying to wake her up. Look there, even now she hears you and is trying … Sit her up quick boy. I think she is trying to cough that stuff up this time.”

In fact that is exactly what I was trying to do. It took me most of the rest of that day but it must have finally broken free because all I seemed to do was gag on crud that I was coughing up. And thirsty … it seemed like I could have drunk the North Fork dry.

“Rochelle if you ever … ever … scare me like that again …”

I was too tired to do much more than pat his hand but it made Granny C and Miz Louise smile. They stayed about half of the fourth day and then Stro fetched Granny C and Miz Louise went back with Mr. Dink who’d been a shadow in the house as well when he could stand to be inside. Right after they left we had a pretty intense snow storm but it kept everything quiet and company away though there were questions every evening when Mr. Hefling and Thor exchanged messages on the radio. I was finally able to get up and move around but I still felt like a newborn colt … all knobby knees on legs that didn’t want to do what I told them to.

It had been an upper respiratory infection brought on by stress, fatigue, and finally the dunk in the river followed by a night in the cave. It wasn’t exactly unheard of for something like that to happen but I felt somehow weak and embarrassed that it had happened to me.

“I told you I don’t want to hear it,” Thor said when I tried again to say I was sorry for causing a fuss.

“Thor …”

“No. I don’t know what I would have done if Ms. Hefling hadn’t wanted to check on you when Stro and I brought that load of wood back here. I hadn’t even set the brake on the wagon when I knew something wasn’t right; Lady was howling fit to bring down the house.”

“Where is she? I remember she was here. You and Granny C kept telling her to stay out of my face. Her nose was cold in my ear.”

“I finally managed to get her to stay in the barn for a little while. First she was throwing a fit when I was trying to get you up to bed, tripping me, tripping over her own ears and feet. Then every time I tried to put her out of the room she would start howling again. I literally had to pick her up and stand outside with her to make her take care of business and she all but took down the door when she was finished and wanted back in. Miz Louise told me I was fighting a losing battle and to just let the pup stay on the bed where she could see you.”

Distracted I asked, “Miz Louise talked?”

He was lying beside me on the bed, stroking my hair. “Uh huh. She still doesn’t talk much but she does talk.”

“Are she and Mr. Dink managing?”

“Uh huh. Strother, Sand, Johnson, and Lawson and a couple of other men that know Mr. Dink came by one day and helped to get some of the most important repairs finished on the Stone House, including opening up the root cellar. I saw it when I took Miz Louise home. Did you know she was a nurse for almost fifty years?”

“No. I kind of remember … something … but …” I stopped because my head still felt sore and tender from the high fever I had run, like I had a sunburn on my scalp that went all the way to my brain. Then something else struck me. “Who all did you say was there to help?!”

“Easy, don’t get yourself worked up. Strother and Sand insisted on taking the road from what Sand called the old Darnall place.”

“My maternal grandparents farm.”

“That’s what I gathered. It was shorter for them to do it plus it kept them off of the main road to the farm here. And before you ask, they didn’t go by the orchards either and Sand said he doesn’t even think anyone thought about the old orchards being anywhere near.”

Still distressed I asked, “What choice do I have? I suppose we couldn’t stay hidden forever, not if people are going to start to branch out and … wait, I remember Stro said they were going to start salvaging in town … Ohhhh, I can’t just lay here like this. We’ve got to …”

“You’re going to lay there just like this,” he said putting an arm across me to keep me from trying to sit up. “Granny C gave me permission … even encouraged me … to tie you down if you try and get up to anything for another week.”

“But Thor …”

He carefully pulled me into his arms. The reason he was careful is because I was so sore the rest of me felt as tender as my head did. “No ‘but Thor’ will get you out of this one. Hon you were sick … sicker than you were last time. Mr. Dink said your lungs were your weak spot. Why didn’t you tell me that?”

I sighed, “Because the last couple of years it hasn’t been so bad … not at all like when I was little. So what if I get sick a couple of times a year, so did every other kid I knew. And I’m not stupid; I know what is good for me and what isn’t. I don’t take unnecessary chances. And when I do start to get sick I know what to do about it. It just got away from me this time. You want me to start telling you that you can’t carry a knife or gun because someone might expect you to fight? That you can’t get into a boat ‘cause you might get seasick again? Don’t ask me to stop working or going with you places because I might catch a cold.”

Completely flabbergasted Thor said, “That is the worst piece of female logic I’ve ever heard. You honestly expect me to …”

“Unless you want to eat burnt cornbread and underdone beans for the rest of your life that is exactly what I expect. You’ll kill me faster trying to cage me than just letting me go and allowing me to use my common sense. As much as people seem to think I longed to be ‘just a normal person’ the fact is I never did, not really. If the only real weakness I’ve got from being a GWB – I mean besides the same human ones as everyone else – is the occasional run in with a chest cold then I’m fine. To me I am normal. Didn’t I come all the way across the country – some of it by myself – without acting like a glass ballerina in an eggshell music box?”

Thor was obviously frustrated. “Well … don’t expect me to just get over this because you say so.” He drug me as physically close as he could without actually smothering both of us. I could tell he wanted to say something else but the words just didn’t seem adequate.

I told him, “I’m not saying that you can’t pamper me on occasion.” Only my voice was all nasally from my nose being pushed into his chest. The sound of it caught us both off guard and for some unaccountable reason we both laughed.

“You’re a mess girl. How can I possibly be laughing at a time like this?”

“Because it is at times like this that laughter is what saves us. And because you … you love me just … just the way I am?”

He murmured “no fair” in my hair and then held me for a moment.

Feeling it was either push the advantage now or have to battle a gilded cage for much longer I said, “How’s this? I promise to not take unnecessary chances and when life happens I promise to address it as soon as possible. You on the other hand promise not to expect me to sit around with my feet parked up on some little poof cushion like I’m too good to work. I’ll eat right, take care of myself, and I’ll go back to making sure I get enough aerobic exercise to strengthen my lungs. OK?”

“Aerobics? Like I get to watch you climb into some skimpy little outfit and bounce around?” he leered.

I pushed back out of his arms. “You’re insatiable. No … well I suppose I could just to give you a charge every once in a while … but basically it just means upping my heart rate for at least twenty minutes per session. It works on lung capacity and heart health. I have a trail that takes about thirty minutes to walk … level at first then it goes very steep ascent for about half a mile and then a more gradual descent. It’s gotten overgrown but I used to hike it once a week … it’s that trail behind the storage barn. During football season I would run it almost every day.”

He shook himself and then kissed the top of my head. Finally he sighed and said, “I know that you don’t like it when … when I treat you …”

I had him help me sit up and as I did I asked, “Like a real live girl? I’ve learned to live with it but too much of a good thing is still too much.” I patted his chest and continued, “Thor let’s just get passed this. I’m not normally a frail or fragile person and … and I really don’t like this at all. I’m trying not to be cranky. I’ll admit I like the attention you’re giving me … but I prefer to get it as an equal and not because you suddenly don’t feel like I can pull my own weight.”

“Now who said that is how I felt? Did I say that?”

I admitted, “No. But that’s what it boils down to.” In the end he gave in but I also did my part by using that common sense I claimed to have. After the snow cleared I stayed home for the rest of the week and played the dutiful and obedient wife for a few days while Thor went off with work crews to salvage in the town.

I say played the part because on the inside I was cutting up a ruckus. I felt so angry at what I felt was the unfairness of it all that I’d get the shakes … but never when Thor was around. My temper could be as oversized as the rest of me but like Dad raised me, my attitude was my responsibility and other folks didn’t deserve to be hurt by it. The issue of submitting to my husband was going to be one that challenged me. I knew that there was a balance to be found between husbands and wives but Thor and I were still new enough at it that I wasn’t exactly submitting because I really wanted to or was comfortable with it, more because I knew it was the right thing to do.

I trusted Thor and respected him which went a long way towards helping me but I was used to being my own boss and there were very few people I’d ever given any say over me. At the top of that short list had been my father. But obeying Dad had been easy based on a life time of habit. Letting Thor have that same position in my life was like learning to trust him all over again in a completely different way. I had to learn that submitting wasn’t bondage but respect. If I could trust that Thor wouldn’t break my trust and would in turn respect me – all of me – then we’d have an easier go of it. For me though, that was a hard place to reach even though I loved Thor with every fiber of my being.

It didn’t help that reality slapped me in the face with the fact that I was in no fit condition to be out and about in the cold for the first few days I was holed up feeling sorry for myself. I was tired and weak and every time I over exerted myself I only got more tired and weaker. Eventually I did stop feeling sorry for myself and pouting that I couldn’t go play with the big boys but it took some effort on my part. I looked around and realized that there were a lot of things I could do here in the house.

I finally and forever put most of my parents’ personal items away after setting some aside to give to Mr. Dink and Miz Louise. I made sachets of cedar chips and dried lavender and put our summer clothes in the trunk at the foot of the bed and hung up our winter togs instead of the inconvenient baskets they had been piled in. When I became dizzy from too much standing I darned socks. It wasn’t my favorite activity in the world but I had learned to do it quickly and neatly when Mom said if I was going to wreck my socks then I was the one that was going to mend them. After one particularly nasty hole in Thor’s sock that I’d already darned twice before I made a note and pinned it to his pillow that he was either to trim his toenails or I would trim his toes.

I went through the house making sure that moths weren’t getting into anything and switched out the pillows on the bed in the master bedroom with the pillows on the bed on my old room. I worked on the inventories, calendars, plans and just about anything else I could get my hands on to keep me busy rather than sulking. My crankiness went away in direct proportion to my strength coming back. I’m not proud of it but Stro was pretty much correct – when I’m sick I’m a little on the other side of cranky, maybe a lot on the other side of it. Which is probably why I was outside kicking at mud clods instead of paying attention to what was going on around me.

I was waiting around for Lady to finish sniffing around in the bushes for the cats when I heard her give an odd call, one I’d never heard her give before but it was cut off with a yelp and then nothing. All I could think was bear. Then a distinctly male voice yowled and said, “Get this hell cat off me!!”

I didn’t recognize the voice and no one with sense would ever sneak up on me. I put my hands in my pockets. In my left was the pistol and in the right was my Bowie. About that time I heard the distinct sound of a shotgun being shucked behind me.

“Slow and steady, hands out where I can see them.”

I left the pistol in my pocket but palmed the Bowie and slid it up my sweater sleeve, out of sight but close at hand.

“Hey you fools, get out here!”

Three men stepped out of the bushes, one of them supported by the other two and bleeding profusely from slices all over his face and ears. One of the supporters looked at me and then did a double take, “Hey! It’s a girl!”

The one behind me said, “If you want to call it that.”

Trying to figure out what they wanted … besides the obvious since the three I was facing had perked right up when they found out I was female … I told the one behind me, “You know me but so far I haven’t got a clue who you are. You think that’s fair?”

“Fair?!” He snarled. “That’s rich. Fair it says. What do you know about fair? You got my boy kicked off the team.”

I was scrambling to remember who would hate me that much. I hadn’t got anyone kicked off a team. Some had been pulled by their parents, some had left of their own accord, the closest that … oh.

“You’re Dallas’ father? Man, that was way back in middle school. And he got his own self kicked off the team. I wasn’t the only one he could have killed with that stunt in the bleachers.”

“Shut up. It was all your fault. He wouldn’t have felt so pushed and out of control if you hadn’t …”

“Hadn’t drawn breath and lived? You’re lucky that my dad persuaded the other parents not to prosecute or Dallas would have gone to juvvie in Abingdon. The sheriff nearly sent him anyway since one of the other kids that got hurt was his son.”

One of the guys in front of me asked, “Larry, what she talking about? I didn’t know you had a boy.”

Since I knew that Dallas had gone to juvvie a couple of years later anyway when he got caught selling his mother’s oxycodone at school I kept my mouth shut. Larry said, “Hold your tongue … it’s none of your business anyway.”

The guy that had been used as a scratching post said, “Don’t shoot her yet. I deserve something for my pain and suffering and I know just what I want.”

I thought to myself no way, not without a fight. On the other hand I knew I wasn’t at full strength so brute force was out, this time I was going to have to use my brain to full advantage. The Bowie was a comforting weight against my wrist.

Larry came up close and then did just about the dumbest thing he could have done. He wanted to make it personal so the shotgun came off of my back and up and away to the right in a one handed grip and he grabbed the back of my neck with his left hand and started to push me. I could tell that Larry was shorter than me and then got a picture of the man that had done his best to take my parents to court except no local lawyer would take his case.

Knowing this was probably my best chance I spun to my left as the Bowie dropped back into my hand. Larry was several inches shorter than I was and it was easier for me to go over his arm than under it. With as much strength as I had I slammed the Bowie into the side of his neck and then kept pulling it across. Instinct had him grabbing at his ruined throat and I caught the shotgun before it hit the ground and rolled just in time to avoid the rifle blasts of two of the other three men.

The shotgun was an old Winchester double barrel and kicked like a mule. I got one of the three remaining men in the gut and practically blew off the lower leg off the one standing beside him as I finished ducking and rolling away before trying to run to the storage barn, the closest structure that could provide another weapon.

I figured that I’d finished three but the fourth guy had been quick and I could feel him on my heels and had I been at full strength I could have outrun him by dodging … but I wasn’t and he was on me, swinging me around. I shoved him hard but still got a meaty fist that hit me in one of the worst places a girl can be hit. It wasn’t as bad as a guy had to suffer when his man parts took a hit but a fist to the chest still brought tears to my eyes.

Then it was on. I was fired up and ready to take it out on somebody and the poor fool in front of me would do … or so I thought. We hadn’t even been fighting a full thirty seconds when a roar split the afternoon and the guy became airborne without a license. He slammed into the side of the storage barn and then literally wet himself when he saw both Thor and I coming at him at the same time. He started to run and then got dog piled but not by Thor and I.

“Hey! Hey!! He’s mine!” I yelled.

“No! He’s mine!” Thor bellowed.

Both of us started pulling guys off. Lawson, Johnson, Sand, Jimmy Ray and Stro on the bottom still punching the guy … and then Coach started yelling, “OK, that’s enough. Let me in there. Stand back!”

“Dat burn it! Get out of my way!!” I yelped when Sand and Johnson pulled me backwards.

Stro was still whaling on the guy and shouting, “You don’t hit girls!”

Thor was looking murderous and then turned to me, “Are you OK?!”

“I’m fine but I wasn’t done,” I growled back in a fair imitation of his own tone.

Then Coach bellowed, “I … said … that’s … enough!”

All of us reacted like we’d been pre-programmed. Even Thor started and looked at the man that had handled two generations of football players at the local highschool. “That’s better. Now who is that one?” Coach asked pointing to the squashed specimen that Stro was still eyeing like a hungry bear at a picnic basket.

Dealing with a stitch in my side I said, “I don’t know. Three of them were strangers to me but the one over there was Dallas Calhoun’s father.”

Lawson remembered Dallas, and not in a good way. “Dallas?! You’ve got to be kidding me, that’s a blast from the past. The Calhoun’s don’t even live around here no more.”

Sand said, “But they did still have family in the area … or had … I heard they’d joined up with Kemper.”

I looked at Thor who was still growling. I told him, “I was doing just fine.”

“Ro-chelle …”

“Don’t you growl at me. I said I was doing just fine.”

Stro had to be a smart aleck. “Watch out, she’s gonna blow!”

I turned towards him, “I’m gonna blow all right …”

Then Thor grabbed me and just about knocked my socks off with a kiss that stole my breath and then gave it back. When he ended it he still held me. He looked deep into my eyes and asked, “Hon you are such a fire breather. What have I said about playing with your food?”

All I could think of was the rest of the old joke, “But they were crunchy and tasted good with ketchup.” Then I yelped and jerked out of his arms and ran. To their credit my friends were quick to get out of my way.

“What on earth?!” Thor called.

I cried, “Oh no … no, no, no. Jimmy Ray!!”

Thor must have understood because I heard him groan, “Oh Lord, it’s her pup Lady.”

Hearing it was a dog Jimmy Ray ran over and after a few moments, “Easy there. Easy. It’s OK Rocky … geez … you’re crying. Hey guys, she’s crying!”

Thor was already there but Jimmy Ray then stunned us all by saying, “Hey, you don’t need to do that. She’s OK. She was just knocked loopy and was too scared to move. Give her a chance and talk to her real easy.” Suddenly Jimmy Ray froze. I’d only seen him do that once and I looked over to see Boots slinking up on him.

“Boots! Knock it off!” The cat suddenly sat down and started washing himself like he hadn’t been thinking about having Jimmy Ray for dinner. For his part Jimmy Ray jumped up and then did a yip with a funny hop when Barney sauntered out of the bush right beside him.

“Keep them demon cats away from me.”

The other guys were trying not to laugh but they weren’t trying hard. Jimmy Ray had had a run in with the cats when they’d been kittens and he’d never quite recovered from it, somewhat similar to how most dogs felt after a run in with them.

“Jimmy Ray, are you sure Lady is going to be all right?”

Trying to pull himself back together he nodded. “Just keep an eye on her. She’s awful quiet for a hound.”

Thor said, “Oh she’s got a voice all right. A lot like her mistress.”

Lady was limping and trying to climb up in my lap and lick me. I gently picked her up and tucked her inside my jacket and she settled down to sniffing the smells in the inside pockets.

Thor was back to growling as he looked at the man who was begging for his life. He looked at me and said, “Go in the house.”

“Excuse me?”

“I said go in the house and stay there.” He turned to the others. “Go on home.”

Every one of them except Sand got there back up right away.”

I said, “You can’t protect us all from what you are about to do Thor.”

That made the guys blink; like they were only getting every other word of half of a conversation. Sand obviously understood because he looked at his brother and said, “Johnson, why don’t you, Jimmy Ray, and Lawson make sure Coach gets that wagon unloaded then come back here in a bit.”

“Hey!”

I told them, “Thor is good at what he does but you might not be ready to accept that he isn’t good because he likes it. So, the less you see and know about it the better.”

Stro caught on and looked at his brother, “Lawson, tell Dad I’ll be home when things are … dealt with.” The look that passed between them caused Lawson to blanch.

Coach said, “I’m not squeamish. Don’t think that me leaving means that. And I don’t blame you. But it’s a good strategy for now. The fewer people that can be witnesses the better.” He banged Thor on the shoulder a couple of times and then said, “I’ll take the boys and go. Strother, you sure you know what you’re getting into?”

“Yes sir.” There was a lot said in those two words.

Coach then said, “Come on boys, there’s still work to be done. Johnson, you’re driving since you’ll be bringing it back here to pick up your brother.”

After they left Thor looked at me and I at him. “I’ll go in the house if you insist on it. But you don’t need to send me to the house. I’ve been there all along remember.”

“You sure?” he asked, already finding that place in himself I knew he would need to go to do the job.

I nodded in answer. “Then go put the dog up so she don’t get scared by all the noise.”

At those words the man on the ground started crying. A part of me was crying too. I had hoped that we could put the worst of it all behind us but it looked like the world was as cruel a place as ever. There were things we needed to know and it looked like the survivor was the unlucky soul who was going to tell us. One way or the other.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 85

What I expected to be as bad as a few such occurrences had been on the road turned out to be a non-event … at least in the beginning. After the others had left and I had come back, Thor only had to grab the guy by the scruff of his jacket collar before he started practically begging to be allowed to answer questions.

Thor tied his hands together behind him with his own belt and I tied his boot laces together. He might get his hands loose and try to run but he wasn’t going to just unknot the laces without someone noticing and giving us time to stop him. Sand whispered, “Simple but effective.” I shrugged having learned the trick from Evans during his hours upon hours of stories. But Thor started interrogating the man and my attention refocused from the past to the present.

“Are you from Kemper’s group?”

“Kemper’s don’t exist no more. Most everyone is dead or running towards Volney or Troutdale, looking for a place to stay for the winter. But mostly everyone is dead.”

“Did they die from being infected?”

“That was the splinter group. Mostly those of us that stayed got caught in the crossfire when Calhoun over there tried to take over or from some explosions and fire that came about when some of Kemper’s people tried … I don’t know … it was like they decided if they couldn’t have the compound and supplies then no one could. They destroyed everything and then set what was left on fire.”

“How did you escape?”

“I followed Calhoun. He was ape @#$% crazy half the time but it didn’t stop him from knowing what he was doing and getting the job done. He fed our group when Kemper started cutting people off.”

“Where did he get the supplies?”

“We … uh …” When no one would help him he said, “We salvaged some things and … er … raided for others.”

“Who did you steal from?”

It was cold but the man was sweating anyway. “I don’t know man, just some cabins and stuff that we’d run across. Usually they’d give us what we wanted just to make us go away.”

“Did you burn people out when they wouldn’t?”

“Huh?! No way … that was Kemper’s crew. If Calhoun was crazy, Kemper and those he kept close were way on the other side of it. It wasn’t like that in the beginning; people were different back then. It was … it was like going away to summer camp. We were safe and felt like we could trust each other. After his wife died things started going downhill. Eventually we realized that Kemper was mostly a fake. By then though it was too late.”

“Too late how?”

“Winter was coming and the old timers wanted to know what kind of supplies we had to get us through. They wouldn’t shut up about it no matter how much the lieutenants started to threaten them. When Kemper wouldn’t tell how much he had left rumors started going around and then someone broke into the storage rooms and … and we found out there wasn’t no way all of us would be making it on what was left. That’s when people started getting mean, taking sides, talking about mutiny in whispers and then right out in the open. Kemper would send work groups out and people would go missing or the group wouldn’t come back at all. Everything turned freaky. Some of the pressure was let off when a bunch of people opted to break off from the main compound. They swore they’d still be loyal to Kemper but they’d also be run independent. Then somehow they got infected. The people that Kemper sent to reclaim the food that group had taken got infected too. More people started disappearing and even kids. No one knew what to do. Then Calhoun stepped up. He said all we had to do was wait until there was a deep and long freeze and we’d be able to get into the splinter group’s came and the bodies wouldn’t be infectious anymore. We just had to survive for a little while longer then we could have all the food we wanted until the military show up and fix things.”

I mean what do you say to someone who is that delusional? The truth? They wouldn’t believe the truth if it slapped them across the face. They didn’t want to know what the truth was because they couldn’t handle it.

“How did you find the farm?”

“This place? We got lost. My wife is going to kill me ‘cause I promised her I would be back last night. When we saw the smoke we decided to … just do the same thing we’d done every place else only … only … things went wrong somehow.” The man was really sweating bullets at how wrong it had gone started sinking in.

“How many more of there are you?”

The man clammed up. But what he saw in our faces loosened his tongue right back up. “Calhoun’s brother stayed behind with the women. Him and the women make six. You done kilt the rest.”

I asked, “Any kids in your group?”

“Huh? Naw, Calhoun’s daughter never made it home from college. My step kids are over in Richmond with their ol’ man. They were disrespectful to their ma so she turned her back on ‘em and told them they could just stay where they were and we headed out to try and reach my buddy’s hunting cabin.” His speech went from righteously angry to suddenly thoughtful, “Maybe they had the right of it after all.”

“And the others?” I prompted.

“Dead or run off if they thought they were old enough to make it on their own. Lots of the kids wised up to Kemper before the rest of us did. They didn’t like all of the rules or being told what to do all the time. They wanted to be with their own kind I reckon, back in the cities where they could have the run of the place.” He swallowed hard and then asked, “You’re going to kill me aren’t you?”

Thor said casually, “You haven’t given me any reason to keep you alive.”

“Wh-wh-what kind of-of-of reason would c-c-convince you?” he asked. The terror coming off of him was strong enough to smell.

“That’s not up to me to decide. You gotta prove it; make me believe you are worth the trouble of not killing you.”

He swallowed so hard you could hear his adam’s apple click. “I-I-I-I …”

Then all of a sudden he jumped up and ran. Or should I say tried to run; he’d forgotten his shoe laces like most people did when they panicked. With his hands tied behind him he didn’t have anything to break his fall and none of us were fool enough to step in and give him a hostage.

He hit the ground with a thunk but then didn’t move. We all had weapons out and aimed at him but still he didn’t move. Thor reached out and toed him but he didn’t react. We each aimed at a vital spot and Thor took his boot and rolled him over and we saw there was good reason for him not to be moving.

His eyes were full of mud and his forehead had an odd concave shape to it. Under the mud he’d fallen in was one of the never ending crop of rocks that people around here harvested every year. It was large and egg-shaped with smooth edges … an old flower bed border stone that had gotten displaced sometime in the last several generations and then gotten covered by years of dirt and mud. The man had come down just hard enough that his skull had fractured on impact turning his frontal lobe area into one giant bruise. He just stopped breathing from the shock of it and had gone to answer a Judge whose decry would be eternal.

Thor stood up and walked a ways off and I turned to Sand, “Strip and dispose. We can haul ‘em to the burn pit.” He nodded and then I walked over to Thor who was still in that dark place.

I put my hand on his forearm lightly. He asked, “You OK?”

“Yes.”

He rumbled and then said, “I was prepared to do what was necessary.”

“Of course. You always are.” Then I added quietly, “This time God let you off the hook. Just accept the gift and don’t worry at it.” It took a moment but he straightened and turned to look at me. The darkness left the back of his eyes and he nodded and we went to help the guys.

In death it was apparent just how pathetic they were. Their clothes we salvaged as best we could but given the mess I had made of them most of it followed them into the burn pit except for the pieces that could be used for patches and rags. They did have ammo for their weapons but Thor and I carried more just walking around the farm. The weapons themselves were nothing special and were in need of cleaning and some repair. They didn’t have any food on them, not even Calhoun. The rest of it was just a small pile of odds and ends … a compass, pocket knives, utilitools, and the other mess that people carried around with them when they have more pockets than sense.

The burn pit was snapping and sizzling and was a bit much so we all walked back towards. I leaned against the outside wall and said, “This is getting real old real fast. If they hadn’t tried to just take stuff we might have worked a deal. We don’t have feed for the steer, they could have worked a day helping me to slaughter it and then taken some back to their people.”

Stro said, “You don’t understand these out-of-towners Rocky. When they got here they just acted like they could take whatever they needed, most of them didn’t even think they should have to pay for it. From the way this guy acted it doesn’t seem like they’ve learned any different since then.”

I said, “But Calhoun wasn’t an out-of-towner, not really.”

Sand shook his head. “Might as well have been. When he moved away he burned a lot of bridges if you know what I mean. I think his brother took him in only because he felt some family pressure to do it. Then they joined Kemper, the rest is the same story we’ve heard a couple of times now.”

Thor asked, “Has anyone else had trouble with people left over from Kemper’s group? Stro, your father was mentioning something this morning.”

“Oh, there’s been a few come begging family to take ‘em back, but not many. And sometimes they get taken in and sometimes they don’t. Guess it depends on how they left things when they joined up with Kemper or what the circumstances were. Dad wants me to go check out the old compound and see what’s left of it but salvaging from the town is more important right now. There are only so many folks to do the heavy work and there isn’t anyone that can work on it all day every day because we got responsibilities at home. Come spring it’s going to be even worse and next harvest season worst of all.”

Thor gave a wry look and said, “You’d be surprised how many wars get put on hold during planting and harvesting times. That’s assuming there is anything to plant or harvest.”

Adding my two cents I said, “I hope people had the forethought to save enough seed for spring planting. It’s not as if the feed depot is going to be getting in anything new anytime soon. Hopefully folks have their head on enough.”

Stro had a look that made me ask, “What?”

“You remeber what we were talking about? That morning you took sick so bad?”

Thinking I said, “That … that triage thing?”

“Yeah. That’s what I was trying to say. For all the stuff people went through since the power stopped working there’s a lot of them still living in la-la land. Take Tina’s father for instance. The thing she’s told us … he was delusional or something, still holding onto the idea that the military or FEMA or some such was going to come driving in like the cavalry and that even if it was a year or two things would eventually get back to some version of what used to be normal.”

Disgusted I said, “Then people should hear some of the stories that Thor and I could tell them from what we saw crossing the country.”

Sand nodded towards Thor who was taking apart one of the rifles and looking it over. “Thor’s been answering questions but starting yesterday and today … people stopped asking. It’s like they couldn’t handle the answers. When there wasn’t any information coming in they could pretend but they can’t pretend no more and it ain’t setting well with them.”

Without looking at us Thor said, “I noticed there were some that didn’t show up for the work crew today.”

“Their loss Stro said without concern. If they want to stick their head up their … uh … in the sand then that’s their right. It’ll kill ‘em but when someone really wants to die there ain’t nothing no one is going to be able to do to stop it.” Stro had a well-loved cousin that committed suicide even after receiving some very high quality counseling. It was a hard way to learn such a profound lesson in life.

We all came to attention when we heard a wagon come to the gate. A whistle split the air and Thor whistled back making me realize that the guys must be teaching him our old signals. For a moment, just a moment, I felt left out but not for long because Johnson called, “Give me a hand!”

While the others jogged over I walked. I was two hundred percent better than I had been but all of the exertion had taken what little new found energy I had gotten back.

“Confound it you crazy ol’ mule!!” Johnson called right before he was nearly pulled off his feet.

“Johnson! Take it easy. You’re only making him more ornery,” I told him when I saw what was happening.

“Me making him ornery?! This beast was born ornery! Confound it all!!”

“Where did you find them?” I asked.

Johnson got a stricken look on his face. Sand asked, “Johnson?”

“That couple that lived down Briarpatch Lane. He … um … he didn’t show up today you know and Coach had us go by because he was going to give him what for.”

“And?” I asked after Johnson just stopped talking.

He sighed and then shook his head. “Looks like he went on a drunk last night on some of that case of whiskey he found and claimed yesterday. He … uh … it was a murder/suicide. Looks like he, you know … First his family and then himself.”

“Oh Lord,” I muttered.

Thor tried to hide the look on his face but I still caught it before he slipped his mask on. I stepped close and said, “Don’t. Just don’t. It isn’t your fault he couldn’t handle the truth. And some people are bad drunks.”

Stro added, “No way man. This ain’t your fault. Robb was always a … well, I suppose speaking ill of the dead ain’t the thing to do but you know how he was Sand.”

Sand nodded, “His family lived on the dole around half the time Thor. I went to school with his sister, the family was a mess for as long as I can remember taking notice. The idea that he’d have to make his own way in life nearly overwhelmed him several times over the summer. He went through bad DTs when his pain med supply dried up. Maybe we should have kept the liquor from him but … you saw how he was and … we can’t babysit people like that anymore. If anyone is stupid enough to say otherwise then I’ll suggest they could do the babysitting from here on out and we see how fast they tough up their stance.”

Thor finally relaxed and nodded. “Just the same. I think I may be less free with information in the future. I always hated the idea of hiding things from people because they couldn’t handle them … but maybe that’s more true than I wanted it to be.”

“Nah man … tell it like it is. Tell it like it is, if people can’t handle it then that’s their problem.” My friend Stro had certainly developed a hard streak but then again, in his own way, he’d been put down his whole life for something that wasn’t his fault either. Maybe people reap what they sow and Stro reserved what softness he had for people that had never hurt him … like Lulu. I just hoped he could make room for forgiveness for people … people like Tina.

I finally couldn’t stand Johnson’s approach with the mules and walked over and took them both by their bits and just stood there calmly. “Now that’s better,” I told them when they stopped prancing around. “I bet you’re just dying to get this gear off, kick up your hooves, and relax a bit. Come on and I’ll let you in the corral so you can drink and nibble. You’ll meet the horses in a bit and can have a good gossip.”

As I walked away I heard Johnson say, “Now I know why Jimmy Ray said to take those crazies to Rocky. She always took care of the mules during 4H too.”

I was thrilled to death to take in the two appaloosa mules. I’d always wanted some but Dad said they were too expensive and after seeing the price tag on some of them at the fairs I had to agree. But I wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth no matter how bad a pun it was.

When I got back the guys suddenly shut up when they saw me. “OK, whatever it is better be that important for you to act like I should be kept out of it otherwise you can forget the fudge brownies I made this morning.”

Johnson whimpered, “Brownies?”

Johnson looked at the others who were all giving him “the look.” Then I said, “That includes you Thor.”

The man in question couldn’t help it, his lips started quivering and then they were smiling and finally he was laughing. “You don’t know how to play fair do you?”

I put a real innocent look on my face and said, “I’ve known these guys most of my life. We’ve worked hard together, played hard together, and covered each other’s backs. And the one thing I’ve learned is that none of them can bake worth a darn. Cook yes, bake no. And I make really, really, reeeaaaalllly good fudge brownies.”

Johnson, the most susceptible of the bunch complained, “Aw come on guys … it’s brownies.”

Sand just shook his head and looked at Thor. Thor rolled his eyes, “How did I get volunteered?”

“Hey, you’re the one that married her,” Stro said while his eyebrows disappeared into his bushy hair.

Thor turned to look at me, smiled, and said, “Yes I did.”

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 86

Brownies. If I had known what they wanted I might not have given them any. Oh but they were smart; they grabbed them and skedaddled fast leaving Thor to peg me between the eyes with their “idea.”

“They want me to what?!” My voice was loud in the kitchen. I didn’t rattle the windows – Dad had built the house too tight for that – but the coffee cups sitting on the table tried to dance.

“Organize something called a winter meet,” Thor answered mildly, amused at my overheated response.

“Are … they … out of their cotton pickin’ minds?!!”

Thor chuckled, “I’m beginning to think those boys might be smarter than I gave them credit for being.” At my impatient look he said, “They ran while they had the chance and left me to do the dirty work.”

I snorted. “Every one of them was a Tom Sawyer or Huck Finn growing up. When they look innocent or start the ‘aw shucks’ routine that’s your signal to watch out.”

“And were you Becky Thatcher?”

“Hardly,” I said shrugging off thefact that most people considered me to be more Tarzan than Jane. “Seriously though, why ask me? Sarah or Granny C would know what’s needed better than me. They were with Mom on the planning committee every year, not me.”

“Sand said to remind you that Sarah is pregnant and Strother said to remind you that Ms. Hefling is old though all of them yelped when he said it and claimed they deny it if you said anything to her.”

I rolled my eyes and then bent to take the skillet of cornbread out of the oven. As I plated up the cornbread, stewed potatoes, and white beans with ham I asked him, “What’s their purpose? Don’t we have enough to do to be going on with? And what about security issues? After today I’m wondering if we aren’t to catch a break at all this winter.”

We sat and said the blessing over the food then took a few bites before Thor answered me. “From what I understand they want to set up a barter system and give people a chance to stock up for winter.”

I shook my head. “Too late for that. If they haven’t done it by now it ain’t going to happen. For those that have they won’t trade food, or at least any with sense won’t. No one with any kind of abundance is going to ruin their … what you would call opsec … by showing it off. Mountain folk don’t always look like they have sense to the outsider … I mean look how people underestimate Mr. Dink … but the instinct to survive runs strong in most.”

Thor said consideringly, “I’d like to know what others have so I could measure what we have.”

I shrugged, ‘Why measure it against what others have? Why not just measure it by asking do we have enough for us?”

Thor’s eyebrows jumped and then he smiled, “Don’t believe in competing with the Joneses?”

“No,” I said in finality trying not to give away that he’d poked at a sore point for me. “If I measured myself against I would have died in a loony bin before I hit puberty.” Mentally shaking off some bad memories I added, “There’s no profit in living your life in fear or envy of what other people have. What others have doesn’t make what we have any more or less valuable for us. The only exception to that is if you consider it barter and for now I just don’t want to barter food on the off chance we need it in the future. We might have a late frost and lose the garden. The animals might not come back for several seasons after getting hunted over. Too frequent rains or drought; the trees might not make if their buds get bit or they get a disease; we could get varmints or bugs in the garden; hail storm … geez just any number of things and it isn’t like we can simply import stuff for the local grocery store, at least not for a while.”

He leaned over and kissed me. “Knew I got the best thing going when I got you.”

I snorted at his tomfoolery but felt myself blushing at the same time. “Some folks would say that makes you blind as a bat and dumb as a stump too.”

“Thought we didn’t care what other folks thought or said,” he smirked with a wicked twinkle.

Thinking about it for a moment I admitted, “It’s not that I don’t care. I care about the things I can control – like my actions and my reputation – but if it’s out of my control I try not to let it get to me too much.” Reaching for his hand I added, “And some folks I care about what they think and say a whole lot more than others.”

Thor was my first consideration but I also cared about the guys. I hated that I just couldn’t get on board with their idea for a winter meet. “Thor?”

“Hmm?” he asked raking up the last few bites from his plate.

“You haven’t really given me your opinion on this idea of theirs.”

He shrugged, “I want it to be your decision.”

“Thanks for the confidence but any decision I make affects both of us. Here, give me that plate before you lick the pattern off of it.”

He passed his plate and I put another piece of cornbread on it and put my bear of honey within his reach as well. While he watched with appreciation as I added the last of the contents of the pans he said, “Hon, as I see it there’s pros and cons to the idea. You and I could pull it off … I wouldn’t leave you with all the work … and I’d like the intel it could bring in as well as it giving me the opportunity to meet the other people left around here and see how they interact.” When I opened my mouth he forestalled me by raising his hand and continuing, “But … the points you’ve raised are even more important right now. And I’m pretty sure they asked you before any of them thought to run it by anyone else, especially Hefling or Coach. Does everyone call him that?”

I laughed, “Yeah, pretty much. When you’ve been doing something nearly thirty years in the same location you’re known more by what you do than who you were born as. That’s how surnames got started … place names or job descriptions. Take Charbonneau for example it means kind of like charcoal or someone with dark hair or a swarthy complexion. Coach’s real name is Julius Milligan but no one has called him anything but ‘Coach’ since way before I was born.” Sobering and getting back on track I asked, “You sure about them not asking their dads? If that’s true I’d like some input from them.”

“Will that change how you feel about it?”

“No … unless they come up with good reasons I don’t know about.”

“OK, if you feel up to it, I’ll mention it tonight on the radio check. If you do feel up to it you might want to come on the salvaging run tomorrow. You can get a feel for things and talk to them.”

Startled I asked, “You feel safe leaving the farm unattended?”

He nodded cautiously. “Strother and Lawson were going to back track and will let me know if they see anything that doesn’t fit.”

“But?”

“Hon, I’ve been doing this a while. You get a feel for when someone is telling the truth and when they’re not. Like I did with you … I knew you weren’t being truthful about something but I didn’t feel any real threat or intent to be threatening from you which is why I let you ride as long as I did. That guy, he wasn’t a professional. He wasn’t really a professional anything except a jack … er, he wasn’t a professional anything from what I could detect. He sure didn’t have the beans to be able to lie to me and not have it mess with my BS meter.”

Smiling at the understatement he was making about his “BS meter” I watched him eat with pleasure. Then thinking about it for only a moment I said, “I want to go.”

“I hear a but in there.”

“I’m trying to be honest. I’m not sure I’m up for being on horseback all day if it’s going to be as cold as it was today.”

“I had planned on taking the wagon,” he told me.

“Yeah? OK then, that’s better.”

And it was. After another good night’s sleep we woke up to a beautiful day that was cool but not windy or damp. While Thor took care of all the morning chores I cooked breakfast and fixed a picnic lunch to go. When Thor came in to finish getting ready I harnessed the mules and brought the wagon around. I also saddled Thor’s horse and told mine he had the day off which he seemed to appreciate. For just a moment I worried about leaving the animals but Thor and I were only two people and there were just time we were going to have to trust God that stuff would be there when we got back to them.

“Look who wants to come.”

At Thor’s comment I turned to see him holding Lady but it was what she had on that made me laugh. “Where did you find that? I can’t believe she let you put that on her.”

“It was in one of those tourist shops. I don’t know how long the jacket and hat will last but the harness and leash will at least let you keep hold of her and keep her from running off.”

I took Lady from him and walked her. She looked like a puppy sized hiker in her canvas jacket with pockets and her knitted cap that had slots for her ears to hold it on her head. The chain of the leash didn’t thrill her but she was agreeable to the latest new thing the humans wanted her to do. Boots and Barney were staring down with their usual morning disdain from the porch roof like they were some kind of wild panther. I looked at Thor and said, “The cats will miss her.”

Rolling his eyes in the direction of the cats he said, “The cats can hunt up their own meals for the day. They’re growing fat and getting out of practice. Let’s get, the daylights a wasting.”

Despite what Thor had said it was still very early in the day and we were one of the first to make it to town. “Wow. Things look even more picked over than before,” I muttered while surveying the mess that people were making near store fronts and along the main roads. At least they had the courtesy to keep the mess out of the actual roads or driving the wagon would have been like trying to drive in that mess that Jonathon and I had gone through trying to get to his grandmother’s place.

“Yeah, it’s getting that way. I’ve been leaving the stores on the main drag to people and trying to stick to the supply houses – plumbing and electrical – and then trying to hit up the warehouses as well. That’s where those extra batteries have come from. Hefling, his sons, and I also hit up those ranger stations and took out the solar panels and inverters from there. It would have been a pretty decent haul if we hadn’t had to split them between us.”

Looking around for just a moment since where I wanted to start had pretty much been trashed already we discussed the fact that the guys didn’t seem to have noticed we had access to power. “The equipment has always been there and Dad made sure it didn’t stand out like a sore thumb. Sand knows they’re there and what they’re for but I think he assumed that the EMP got to the electronic stuff that was hooked up to that stuff.”

Shaking his head Thor said, “This is getting us nowhere. Let’s head over to the library. You can see if there are any more books you want.”

It was a whole lot worse than last time I saw the inside of it. “I’m glad you brought the other ones home that I had already stacked up,” I told him after one look around. “I bet the school is even worse than this.”

Thor gave me an odd look. “Everyone avoids the place.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Would you believe I heard some people say it’s cursed and others say it’s haunted.”

I rolled my eyes. “Actually I don’t doubt it for a minute. Dad always said mountain folk could be touched about things like that. My grandmothers were wonderful, God-fearing women but they were superstitious as all get out. Every time they heard me whistle one of them would say, ‘A whistling woman and a crowing hen always comes to some bad end.’ And that was mild compared to some stuff they went on about.”

“My mom used to say … never mind,” Thor said abruptly clamming up.

I stepped over and Lady and I gave him a kiss that had him smiling again. He pushed up both back with a chuckle and said, “Ok, ok … let’s go see what we can find at the school before anyone else gets desperate enough to ignore their fears. I don’t know that I expect to find much. From what I’ve heard the greenies cleaned it out when they put together that meal that poisoned all those people.” We were the only ones on the end of town the library was on. We saw a few working towards the other end but no one waived and it wasn’t anyone I recognized from such a distance no matter how hard I stared.

As I drove the wagon along the road that went to the school I could tell that no one had been that way in a while. The weeds and grass had grown very tall despite the weight of the snow bending and packing it down a bit. There was tree trash down all over the place as well and there were old vehicles where the school grounds had been used as some kind of staging facility. None of that was the worst though.

“Oh geez,” I breathed as I drove passed the months old remains of several bodies. I wouldn’t have recognized what they were if I hadn’t seen it all before. The difference was that I had seen it in abandoned towns and cities … Damascus wasn’t abandoned, or at least not totally. It was like someone’s bad joke of a Halloween prank only it was more real than my brain wanted to take in.

I drove the wagon right into the courtyard between the elementary and middle school and then around to the loading dock at the back of the cafeteria that served the two lunch rooms – one that served the elementary and middle school and the one with the bigger tables and chairs for the highschool kids. I complained to Thor that the blasted doors were all electronic roll downs but that I knew how to get around that.

“Hang on. I’d rather not bust a window.” I climbed up to the roof using the attached maintenance ladder with a crow bar in my hand. When I got up there I had to stop and catch my breath but soon busted the lock off the roof hatch. I went down into the electrical crawl space where all the duct work was and then removed a section of the drop ceiling that led down into the head cafeteria lady’s office. I refused to reveal how I knew this was possible but will merely admit that while helping to put in some Christmas decorations Stro and I discovered certain material was not designed to support our weight.

Thor was howling when I told him about our misadventure and the resulting mess. He gave me a one armed hug and admitted, “I’ve had a few of those life lessons myself. Remind me to tell you about a certain thatched roof in Thailand and a very upset honeymooning couple that I … er … interrupted.”

Using my wind up flashlight we started looking around. I knew immediately it had been a long, long time since anyone had been in there due mostly to the undisturbed nature of the dust. I didn’t even see any mice trails like I expected to see. Going to work I laid several large pots, pitchers, and other cookware near the door going out. Thor handily knocked the door knob off of a locked storage room causing Lady to cling to my leg for a few moments before deciding the doorknob made a good toy to push around with her nose.

Thor hissed scaring us both and I ran over to see what the problem was and then stood there flabbergasted at what we found.

“Why would they overlook something like this?” Thor asked irritated.

I shook my head, so surprised I’d completely lost my voice. The metal shelves were not completely full but there were still quite a large number of #10 cans, rounds of salt, large containers of basic spices, and several undisturbed large bags of mixes, flour, and sugar.

I don’t know why finding it bothered me like it did. We should have been jumping around like we’d found gold … or another stash of Uncle Bentley’s, but I wasn’t. In fact if Stro or even Coach and Mr. Hefling had been there with us I probably would have given them an attitude with both barrels. Finally I muttered angrily, “This goes beyond superstitious right into stupid. But ask me if I care. Their loss is our gain.”

Looking at me in a little surprise he asked, “You’re not going to share this with your friends?”

I paused and then answered, “Ask me again when I’m over being mad at what was nearly wasted. For now … for now I just want to get this stuff home with as few people knowing about it as possible.”

I tied Lady to a post on the loading dock and was able to manually raise the bay doors just enough to let the cans go under it without breaking the wheel mechanism that would have jammed it permanently open or closed. The principal – who’d been around nearly as long as Coach – tended to use the football team as free manual labor. We’d learned early on that even though it was nice to have a remodeled school, some things that the school district had “upgraded” did not work as intended. For instance making everything electric, including locks, without the prerequisite manual backup systems could cause a righteous amount of problems. The school district kept promising to upgrade the upgrades but the property tax revenues had decreased and it fell off of the priority list.

We put the cans in a single layer on the bottom of the wagon bed, then filled the spaces between the cans with smaller items and finally laid the soft packages on top of that. To hide everything from view we laid plywood sheets on top and then put a tarp down. Around the edges of the tarp where the gaps were we pushed some hay that we had brought to cushion fragile items that we found. It wouldn’t hide things from a physical search but it was out of sight from a visual one.

After we finished loading the last couple of things from the kitchen we moved the wagon closer to the library. When I went to step down I saw Stro slowly coming up the main drive to the school on foot. He saw us but didn’t go any faster and only gave a half-hearted wave. I looked at Thor who shrugged.

Impatient at his slow pace, I finally walked down to meet him. “Drag your feet anymore and you’ll leave skid marks.”

“It’s this place,” he shuddered.

I huffed and rolled my eyes. I wanted to tell him what we’d found but on the other hand I was still angry at what I viewed as unnecessary drama that cost people an opportunity. “Then don’t stay if it bothers you that much.”

Quietly he reminded me, “My mom died here Rocky.”

Taking a calming breath I nodded. “I know. And I know I wasn’t here and let me guess … some people down there are saying I have no respect for the dead or that I’m stirring up trouble. A couple of them have probably said they aren’t going to have anything to do with me until the ghosts are done having their revenge.”

Slowly he straightened up and gave me a small smile. “It sounds dumb when you say it.”

“That’s because it is dumb … and you aren’t which is what has me confused. Come on Stro you’re twenty-one, a grown man, there is no room for stuff like that in our lives anymore.”

“Now you’re making me feel really dumb,” he said with a cringe.

“Well I’m not saying you’re dumb, I’d never … well practically never … call you that. What I am saying is that this is just a place. Sure it is a place where bad things happened but I haven’t seen that stop anyone from going into the abandoned houses around town or in the businesses either. You want to see bad you should see some of the places and things that Thor and I saw on our way here.”

We had reached Thor and he heard my last sentence and he and Stro clasped hands in hello. Stro eventually said, “So, didja find anything?”

Thor just rumbled but I answered his question with a question, “After all the stuff that people have said did you really expect us to find anything? Where’s your dad and brother?”

“Dad won’t come up here, bothers him too much. You know him and Mom were fighting again because she had gotten together with … it doesn’t matter now but he just feels bad that the last words they said to each other were pretty harsh. He still pretty much loved her though he was trying to let go.”

I nodded, understanding. “Yeah and Lawson feeds off your dad. Let me guess, he and your mom had brangled before she died too.”

“Pretty much,” Stro said. “Look, I … I ain’t gonna let this place win but I’d … uh … rather not go over to …”

Thor interrupted realizing that Stro was trying to say, “Not a problem. Let’s hit the teacher’s lounge first.”

Lady was eager to explore and led the way into several rooms. From the lounge we hit the copy room, the office, and the janitorial storage area where we picked up a pile of things worth taking … office supplies; goodies left behind in desks; a pile of batteries of different sizes from AA or the way up to the big square ones that were used for the heavy duty flashlights in the school storm kits; and cleaning supplies and a boatload of paper products including some feminine hygiene products that Stro just shoved into the oversized pockets of his hunting jacket trying to look nonchalant.

When he saw I was looking at him he squentched up his face and said, “Please don’t ask. Granny C and Tina gave me a whole long list of things to be on the lookout for and some of them are embarrassing.”

I was opening my mouth to jab at him a little when Thor yelled, “Pay dirt!”

The nurse’s station hadn’t been touched. “OK, this takes the cake,” I said in a huff and then turned and punched Stro in the arm.

“Ow! What was that for?” he complained.

“How many sheets has Granny C had to tear up because she was out of bandages and bandaids? How many other make do things has she had to put up with because …”

“Ok … all right … I get it, just lay off the punching. Geez between you and Tina I’m an abused man.”

I lifted an eye brow and nudged Thor, “Tina huh?”

“Oh stuff it,” he grumbled under his breath. “Don’t push Rocky. I thought I knew what I was doing with … well and I have … you know, Lulu to take care of and Tina has the twins. Neither one of us wants to make a mistake.”

“Has she said anything about it? And you know what I’m talking about. About what her dad did to you two?”

“Yeah. Yeah we talked about that.” He shrugged. “It’s over and done with. Neither one of us is really interested in going back to the way things used to be, we just want to try and figure out which way to go from here.”

“Good enough,” I said with a grin that made his ears turn red.

Suddenly Lady got real still and her hackles came up and she started pulling silently at the leash. We all got quiet and I picked her up to keep her quiet and we heard voices.

They walked right by our position in the dark and I nearly let them keep going. “Watch that first step going down to the kindergarten rooms; it’s awful dark.”

I wound up leaning on Thor to muffle my laughter at how high they had all jumped. Thor pushed me behind him and then growled when some of the guys made to come at me with some anger showing. They backed off real quick and then Stro started snorting in laughter too.

“Yeah, you go on ahead and think it’s funny. You just wait.” Johnson and Lawson were the worst bent out of shape but eventually all of them lightened back up. Thor said mildly but seriously, “You deserved it. You can’t go around like that; you never know who could be lurking in the dark or around a corner.”

Sand nodded, “I been out of the game too long. Our Sarge would have had me … just never mind, but it would have been painful. Thanks for the reminder. We saw the wagon and mules tied up and just assumed you three were the only ones in here. We could have walked into trouble.”

It was just about that time that I started feeling that I hadn’t been out of the house since I’d gotten sick. Lawson said, “Hey, Dad and Coach are outside and said that Rocky wanted to talk to them about something.”

I looked at Thor and said, “I’m gonna go back to the wagon for a while.”

“You OK?” he asked concerned at my sudden listless voice.

“Yeah. But sitting down will do me fine for a while if you don’t mind.”

“No,” he told me. “Take all the time you want.”

I led Lady back to the wagon and then had to unwind her from my leg when she couldn’t decide whether she was my protector or she was going to run from the two men in front of me.

Mr. Hefling smiled slightly at the sight. He leaned over and said, “I’ve heard about you. You are a pretty little thing.”

Lady finally realized these two men weren’t a threat to her human but she was standoffish as they smelled like too many other people and things that she didn’t know. In turn I realized that because of the kind of dog she was Lady would need to be exposed to more of the world and allowed to investigate to identify scents and match them up in her head in order to be truly what she was.

Coach said, “You still ain’t one hundred percent Rocky.”

“No sir, but I’m getting there. You mind if we sit at the picnic table for a bit? I need to run some stuff by you.”

The two men looked at each other then back at me. “The guys say something to you?” I asked correctly interpreting the look.

“Let’s hear what you have to say before we add our two cents.”

After we sat down I took a deep breath and just laid it on the table. “Look, I don’t want to disappoint anyone but I don’t think this is going to produce the results the guys are hoping for. I mean, it’s a nice idea but too … too idealistic in my opinion.”

Mr. Hefling wanted to know, “Why do you say that?”

Being brutally honest I told them both, “Because if people aren’t ready by now they aren’t going to get ready with a little bit of bartering. Plus I don’t think it would do them any good morale-wise. If they aren’t ready now they can at least pretend that everyone else is just as unready as they are. If we start showing off who has what then some anger and envy is going to develop … or maybe something worse. People that might be on the edge of turning into whatever Kemper’s people turned into may well just jump over the edge and justify it however it takes them to sleep at night.”

When Coach started to say something I said, “But … I might have another idea. Two really but they’re separate from each other. The one for the town will just have to wait until the other side of the new year.”

Coach said, “We’re listening.”

“First, assuming any of us make it to the spring, I’d be willing to organize an early spring swap meet or something similar. Thor and I saw something on the way out here … it was like the Highland Games. The suttlers had a section set up, there was a doctoring area, and then there were games of skill and strength. The prizes for the games were things that made sense like new blades, a pig, some chicks or chickens, coveralls, stuff like that. People could barter for things or spend coin in the suttler area. There were skilled people like black smiths, ferriers, mechanics, women with treadle sewing machines and I don’t know what all since I didn’t have that much time to look.”

I looked at the men to try and judge their reactions and when they didn’t give me one I continued on. “I’m going to be brutal and I know … look I know how it is going to make me sound but I don’t see any profit in beating around the bush about it. Not everyone around here is going to make it through the winter. Thor and I plan to but it’s going to take work and all our focus. We only have the two of us to put food on our table and do all our chores. I’ve already been bad sick and I’ll have to be careful not to relapse; that will leave a lot of Thor’s plate and I’m not real happy about that. Once spring planting season gets under way our time is going to be even more precious. But there is the in between time … when the last of the worst snow is gone and before the first seed has to be parked in the garden … that might work for this. It would also let us see who has made it through the starving time … and who hasn’t. Fewer people would mean that any help that the strong of us can offer would go further and … and not be wasted.”

Coach pursed his lips but Mr. Hefling nodded. “Don’t feel bad Rocky. We’ve talked over this same problem. We’ve been trying to move people into work groups but it only works about half the time. People may change their minds once they get into winter and start getting cut off but I have to tell you from what I’ve seen people getting out and salvaging the town is about the most constructive thing I’ve seen since the last garden was put in over the summer.”

“I’m not sure I like the idea of simply leaving people to die or survive. It feels like it goes against all of my Christian upbringing,” Coach put in for his part. “On the other hand, as has also been discussed, you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink. Too many are waiting for things to be given to them rather than working for them. I always thought the people of Damascus were more self-reliant but it looks like most of it has been bred out of the younger generations. I hear too many people that still think someone is going to come along and save them before it is too late. They are waiting for a leader to tell them what to do but seem to want to be bribed into using the brain God gave them. They think a strong man is going to come along and fix things and put the country back together the way it was before. I just don’t believe it myself and have a hard time understanding anyone that still does.”

“If you don’t, imagine how Thor and I feel. We’ve seen … awful things.” I stopped, unwilling to relive some of the awful things we’d been witness to. “I … I had some crazy ideas that Thor and I’d get to Damascus and the town would be pulling together and it would be like a port in the storm, a haven or something extraordinary like that. We saw a few places like that on our way here. But it isn’t and not all of it is because of the greenies or the disease or whatever else has befallen this town. The weakness and rot was already here, I just didn’t want to see it, and those other things just took advantage of it. I had a hard time accepting that, but I’ve realized I don’t have much choice but to accept it. Now, the rest of this is going to sound pretty … pretty self serving.”

I gathered my thoughts and then said, “There are some of us that are stronger. I don’t know if it is physically, mentally, or maybe like Granny C and Mr. Dink, it is spiritually. Maybe it is a little of all three. Maybe God has been looking after us particularly for some reason and has His hand on us. Maybe I am trying too hard and making it into something that it isn’t. Whatever it is I’m just not the type to lie down and give up. I’ll help those unable to help themselves but I can’t see giving anything away to people who are just sitting around unwilling to help themselves in some constructive way.”

Mr. Hefling said, “Yeah, you’re right it sounds bad.”

I gritted my teeth and it is a good thing I did or my mouth would have fallen open at what he said next. “It sounded just as bad when we said it out loud weeks back too, but that don’t stop it from being the truth. We’ve been quietly putting back what we can to help those that like you say ‘can’t help themselves’ but it won’t be enough.”
 

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 87

My mouth may not have been hanging open but my face must have given me away because Coach said, “Take it easy Rocky. You aren’t the only one that has had to take a good long look at our town, our home, the people we grew up around.” He shook his head sadly the sighed. “I’m more sorry than I can ever tell you girl that I didn’t … didn’t …”

“Coach?” I was getting a sudden weirded out feeling. Coach had never spoken to me like that.

“Girl, what I’m trying to say is I knew there were people in this town that gave you a hard time for something that wasn’t your fault. What I didn’t … understand for lack of a better word … is what that really meant about those people. People I called friend except for that one bit of attitude on their part. I glossed it over, made excuses, rationalized it. But that was only the bit I saw wasn’t it … the attitude. How many times did you have to keep your mouth shut trying not to hurt other people when someone would do or say something to you or your parents?”

I wouldn’t lie, not at this point, not after all I’d gone through. But at the same time I felt this was a chance to let some of it go, to bury it in a very final way. I was being presented with a choice and I took it. “Coach, it’s over with, in the past. There’s just no sense in digging up those bones.”

“Bones? Some of those people are still alive and living cheek by jowl with us.”

It was a statement and not a question. “Perhaps. But if they are still around I’m willing to let bygones be bygones so long as they spend their energy someplace else besides making me waste mine dealing with them.”

Mr. Hefling cocked up an eyebrow, “Generous of you. But get one things straight Rocky girl … Rochelle …” I had to grit my teeth. Thor was changing my world in so many ways and having people see me as an honest to goodness female was rocking it in ways I didn’t find comfortable. “Several us now understand, and maybe better than you … or your folks … ever wanted us to. You and your people kept things private, maybe too private. Sometimes you need to make people back up and back off or they never learn where they’re wrong. You don’t have to go it alone anymore. Strother tried to explain to me a few times what it was like to be you in this town but I just didn’t get it and he gave up since you seemed to be able to handle it. But something tells me that you and him maybe have some … history … of covering each other’s backs that not too many people know about … or at least not too many are willing to own up to.”

“Ohhh,” I said putting my head in my hands. “Mr. Hefling don’t start saying stuff like that. Please. Stro and I have always just been friends and nothing more. Other people hear you say stuff like that and they’ll get the wrong idea. Stro and I never … absolutely never … saw each other … er … in a romantic way. It was never like that.”

“That’s not what I’m saying girl.”

Relieved I said, “Well thank goodness but other folks might not hear it that way so let’s just not raise none of that again.” We heard something in the building behind us. “Honestly, they’re like bulls in a China shop. They’re going to bring the whole town up here to see what the ruckus is.” I turned back to and said, “Please sir … just let it go. People are funny about things like that and … well … let’s just say I’m willing to give folks a chance to make other choices.”

He shook his head in exasperation, “Fine girl. But don’t forget what I said. You ain’t got to walk the roads around here alone no more.”

Honestly I felt he was exaggerating things a bit but there was no way for me to tell him that without explaining things I’d rather not explain. See it wasn’t just Stro that had my back a few times, I did have other friends … some from the Venture Crew and some from football … those two overlapping somewhat … but it was hard to explain to folks that had only recently accepted me into the ranks of adulthood that kids have their own ways of dealing with stuff. To survive a kid learns to shut stuff out, compartmentalize it different from adults. And that’s what I did, just compartmentalized it. Sure there were people that ruined things for me but I didn’t let them ruin my whole life. But I wasn’t a kid anymore and I was learning that people wanting to help could be just as much trouble as people wanting to hurt.

Coach bringing the conversation back around to the original topic said, “OK, so you feel that a winter meet isn’t ideal. What were your other two ideas?”

Knowing I was going to have to tread carefully if I wanted to accomplish my goal I said, “First off as far as the meet goes … like I said, I’d be willing to plan one for the spring. That will give me time to organize things and get other people lined up to help and … and frankly as winter progresses we’ll see who is going to be there come spring and who won’t. We could also use the organizing part as a guise for taking supplies around. Or do it in secrecy or whatever, that’s really not my thing. Thor and I may ‘adopt’ some folks … Mr. Dink and Ms. Louise for a start … but I don’t really want any part of a plan that creates a bunch of hurt feelings, envy, and jealousy. All that will do is give us more problems to face in the spring than we already have.”

Another big bang in the school building had me half way getting up to go see but Mr. Hefling snorted, “Honest to Pete, you’d think they’d use more sense. I bet they tried to carry too much and turned something over.” I shrugged thinking that, knowing the boys like I did, that was the likely answer since I hadn’t heard any hollering.

Coach shrunk down what I had been saying into one basic sentence to get us back on topic again. “All right, so it’s pretty much agreed … a winter meet is out but a spring meet might be possible. What’s this other idea you have.”

“This is where it is going to get sticky because I don’t know what everyone else’s plans are or if anyone else even needs this. Here it is flat out, Thor and I have an issue … animal feed. I haven’t talked to Thor about this yet so this is strictly an idea to be discussed not a plan to put into action.” Gathering my thoughts I said, “There are animals that we need to survive the winter. We really can’t slaughter any of the chickens this season as too many were lost while I was away and to be able to keep a viable flock we need them all. The three feral hogs we’ll need to keep for the same reason and I can dig out acorns and they’ll eat the dregs of just about anything we can pull together. The milk cow we need to keep and for the sake of argument I’m going to say that we can breed her in the spring to someone else’s bull. The horses and mules will have to get what grains we’ve got left as their health is an absolute necessity for spring planting and general getting around. The cats can fend for themselves, Lord knows there are enough rats and mice running around right now, and I’ll feed Lady by hunting and table scraps if necessary; her potential worth as a hunter and tracker is too great.”

Mr. Hefling said, “You want to salvage all the feed in town and redistribute it?”

I shook my head, “No. The profit in something like that isn’t big enough to make it worth the effort … at least not right now. I’m talking about doing what most farmers do, culling what you can’t support or what you must for your family. I’ve gone over it and over it. I have one big eater left … a steer. He isn’t good for anything as he isn’t a breeder and he’ll just be scrawny by the time spring comes and it will take longer to fatten him back up assuming he stays healthy on so little feed as we can give him. I’m not so sure he wouldn’t starve to death to be honest.”

“And?”

“Well, I was wondering if any of y’all are in the same boat? Too little feed and needing to cull animals.”

Mr. Hefling cautiously admitted, “Could be.”

“But that’s easier said than done isn’t it?” I asked. “Slaughtering a big animal – or multiple animals – is a lot of work and …”

“No. I know where you’re going with this girl but no.”

“But you haven’t even heard me out all the way.”

“I’m sorry but no. We need to be careful. Other folks will hear about it and …”

About that time I heard a piercingly sharp whistle. I got up, spun around while pushing the two older men down closer to the ground. I had never heard Thor make that whistle though I’d heard it from other men in the crew – it was the sound of RETREAT and DANGER!! all in one. I saw Thor come bounding out of the school and yelled, “NO!!” I saw Mr. Hefling grab Lady who was trying to follow me into battle. I’d told him not to run except as a last resort. The blasted beasts could clock 30 mph when they put their minds to it.

A young, lean black bear followed closely by another one slightly thicker around the middle had Thor in their sights. I put the second one into a skid and slowed it down with a well placed shot from my grandfather’s Winchester Model 70 that was loaded with .375 HH Magnum. I was had that particular gun just for the simple fact that it was the one Dad had taught me to carry this time of year just for bears. Dad always said that not all habits are bad and some good habits could save your life or the life of someone you care about. He wasn’t just whistling Dixie when he said it either.

The problem was the other bear was on Thor’s heels. Time slowed for me. I thought to myself, “Larger bear was a sow. The lead bear was a second year cub and a big one from the looks; they must have been eating good. She was either teaching him to hunt or they had taken up considering humans as part of their food chain due to all of the corpses they probably ravaged over the summer. There, zag Thor and I hope the bear zigs. Aim. No flinching even though you know the rifle would kick like an ornery mule. No! No time left! There ….” BANG!! “Throw the bolt and reload. Hurry up girl. Your love’s life depends on this.” BANG!!

The lead bear lay where it had fallen on top of Thor. I through the bolt and chambered another round and jumped as a couple of other shots hit the sow bear who had been giving too serious consideration to getting up.

“Thor!”

There was a commotion behind me but I was too busy grabbing my husband under the arms and pulling. I realized quick enough that he’d had the wind knocked out of him and banged his head but he wasn’t truly hurt. I was on my bottom hugging him to me when a commotion caught my eye. Stro came limping out … correction, all of the guys came limping out or being helped out.

Jimmy Ray sputtered, “I swear this place is just plain bad news. I gotta get outta here.”

He really was sweating and upset. “Jimmy Ray, this place ...”

“… is cursed,” he finished.

“Do you want me to bang you up worse than you already are?” I asked fiercely.

My tone of voice caught all of them off guard. I continued, “I am not going to let my big he-men type friends turn into mindless old women without a fight. Now get your head straight. A couple of bears … that’s all it was. A couple of bears that are now dead at our feet … not the other way around. Now get a grip and I mean it. I swear you made less noise when they were sewing your head of from where you fell out of the stands trying to get a look at that Richmond’s girl’s cleavage.”

Since the incident was well known to all of us several of the guys bit their lip not to laugh and I saw some shoulders shaking. Even Jimmy Ray was starting to smile. “Some scars are worth getting,” he grinned. Then he shrugged. “OK, so maybe this place ain’t cursed but it sure isn’t making me any healthier.”

Lawson was banged up enough that his daddy was worried about him and Coach was checking them over while Thor, Sand, and Stro got the bears strung up to field dress them. I took Lady and went to the kitchen and got more pots and pans to put stuff in. By the time I tramped back Thor was his normal self but I could see that his pride was ouching him some.

“Now is someone going to tell me what happened or do I have to pull it out of you a word at a time?” I asked growing impatient.

Lawson answered me, “They were in the play room. We were just in there looking around and talking and all of a sudden they were just there.”

“You didn’t smell ‘em?!” I asked incredulous.

“Everything stinks back there. There were some bodies and there was mildew all over the place.”

“Then why were you in the little kids’ play area?”

Stro said, “I was looking for some stuff for Lulu. She don’t have hardly nothing to play with and she’s a girl, she ain’t gonna want to play with my foot … uh …”

I gave him a look that would have melted concrete. “I’d hide that foot you’re pulling out of your mouth or I might just decide to shove it someplace else.”

Thor leaned over and kissed my neck right under my jaw line making me jump. “But see, you’re extraordinary and Stro may not know what to do with a daughter that turns out as special as you.”

It was such an obvious schmooze that I had to laugh. “Oh stop it, you’re just plain impossible. Seriously though, how did you miss a couple of bears in the room with you.”

He shrugged and went back at one of the bears with something that look a little like vengeance. “They were behind some overturned tables. When we realized what they were we backed out of the room and if it had just been fat momma over there we would have been fine but this one here acted like he had something to prove.”

Sand for his part added, “They gave a couple of false charges with us trying to retreat and get out of what they obviously considered their turf but they never let us get far. These bears are … were … very aggressive. They’ve gotten too comfortable around people, probably spent all summer scavenging corpses. When that food source starting disappearing they turned to live prey and continued to see humans as part of their normal diet.

I left the guys to it and took Lady for a walk inside the school, glad to be away from it. I was still recovering and the end of the adrenaline rush left me feeling weak and a bit nauseous from nerves. A little while later Lady let me know a friend was getting close and I turned to see Thor looking for me.

“Hey, you shouldn’t have gone so far.”

“Had to get away.”

With one of his now clean hands he tilted my chin up and looked into my face with concern, “You OK? You’re pale.”

“First day out.”

“You … you sure that’s all?”

Since we’d already discussed my rather irregular cycle I told him, “I’m fine as of this morning if you’re worried about us getting caught sooner than we planned.”

“Naw … well OK … I was a little worried. You were sick and drinking all of those herbal teas and then the excitement … I just … I just don’t want anything to happen to you.”

I would have walked into his arms for a hug but he had some splatters of bear on him so I just patted him with the hand that wasn’t holding Lady’s leash. “I thought about it too but like I said, I’m fine. But I am kind of wiped out and I guess we have to go home anyway now that we’ve got the bear to take care of.”

“Actually … about that …”

Thor had given the bear meat to the others. When I asked him he said that we had enough and if it remained as cold we’d just go ahead and slaughter the steer rather than waiting any longer which would give us plenty to deal with. “Besides,” he said. “I have a feeling they can use it … maybe even need it. By the time they split it between them it won’t be all that much meat, honestly seemed a lot of trouble for a little return. You … I … er … didn’t ask if you …”

I decided to hug him from behind which made him smile. “Thor, stop trying to handle me with kid gloves. I mean if I’m around to talk something over with that’s good. Don’t run rough shod over me but I trust you. If you think the bear was better off going to them then that’s fine by me. I’m not real thrilled with the idea of eating something that’s been eating people anyway.” I shuddered as I had to swallow a bunch of sour stomach acid that had suddenly tried to climb up my throat. “Let’s change the subject.”

“You really aren’t feeling good are you?” I just shrugged and he said, “All but Strother have left and he just wants a word before he catches up and helps get Lawson home. He … speak of the devil …”

Stro had come to find us. “Hey. Rocky, Dad told us … look, we didn’t mean to put you in a bad spot.”

“Don’t worry about it. But I meant it, I’m willing to put together a spring meet.”

“Yeah, I was kind of reconsidering maybe it hadn’t been the best idea. Sarah really lit into us asking us if we understood how much work it was and … well, you know how she can go on and on and on. I think Sand and Johnson were pretty much in the doghouse; they sure did look relieved to come to town this morning.”

Rolling my eyes, “Hormones obviously aren’t helping Sarah’s nerves any.” Then I added, “Just so long as you understand. If it had served a better purpose and …”

“No … geez … we shoulda thought about it more before we said anything. It’s just hard to watch people go through the hard times without wanting to do something about it. As it is, there’s bare spots in the pantry that have never been there in my memory. Hopefully Granny C will be able to can some of this bear.” He looked around real quick and then said, “And Dad let slip about what you said about trading work to get the animals slaughtered before the cold weather really sets in. I don’t agree with him. I understand why he thinks like he does but that doesn’t mean I agree with him. I’m going to be hung up here in town tomorrow but if … you know … if you want to slaughter the steer day after I’ll make my way over there early. Maybe … you know … I could … um … bring Tina and Lulu … and the twins. She hasn’t been away from the home place since her house was attacked and before that her dad kept her pretty well under his thumb.”

I looked at Thor and he nodded. We would wait another day to kill the steer. “OK. Assuming no bad weather come on as early as you can. If you can’t come we’ll understand.”

“Deal. And ya’ll be careful heading home. People have already been giving us the hairy eyeball for coming up to the school. I’m just gonna go grab that bag of stuff from the kids’ area and then I’m off. See ya.”

After Stro had headed down to the little kids’ area Thor turned to me. “Found anything you want to pack out of here?”

“A few things,” I told him. It looks like you guys already divvied up the supplies we found earlier but I found a few more things in desks and a lot of stuff in the lockers. But before we leave I want to hit the girls’ locker room.”

“Tell you what. You give me those bags and I’ll load them and then stay with the wagon and you grab what you want and then come back.”

I understood that he meant that he didn’t want to leave the wagon unattended so I took Lady and hurried to the last place I was really interested looking that day and wound up spending a good thirty minutes making a pile of stuff to haul off. First off I found where they stored the leftovers from the school fund raisers and we’d had a bunch of them the last couple of years … popcorn, chocolate bars, wrapping paper, and a ton of other stuff. The woman who had been head coach for the girls for years had retired last year and moved to Florida but she had been a fiend about sticking everything in plastic tubs and containers that she would pick up at yard sales and thrift stores. There were glass gallon jars, old Tupperware containers, and lots of other stuff all organized and neatly on labeled shelves. The new coach that the school had hired was young and pretty but pretty dumb too. She never seemed to get around to doing much of anything that she’d been asked to do. The other girls seemed to love her like a big sister but I really didn’t care for her much. I didn’t dislike her just we never warmed up to each other.

In addition to the dregs of past fund raisers there was plenty of first aid supplies as well as a case … a big case mind you … of feminine hygiene products. All the girls knew where to go if they were endanger of having an “embarrassing accident.” There were also sports stuff like Absorbine Jr., cold compresses, Bengay, jock itch spray (and yes females can get it too), Gold Bond sprays and powders, calamine lotion, and antiseptic hand gel in big containers. There was a big box of a bunch of miscellaneous toiletries that were donated for kids that … er … were odiferous due to lack of access to that sort of stuff at home. And then came all the sports equipment. There was a lot of stuff for little kids like rings, bean bags, parachutes, skip ropes, hoops, Frisbees, balls of every texture and size, scooters, you name it. There was track and field equipment like hurdles of various height and batons. There was the weight room that had agility and fitness training equipment. In fact it was too much for me to take in but I did grab several items out of the storage room including all of the big tug o’ war ropes.

Seeing the pile I had made I ran back to get Thor.

“I was getting worried,” he said with a slight frown.

“You can add annoyed to that when you see the pile I made. It’ll be easier just to drive around rather than carrying it all through the building again.”

As I drove the wagon over there he growled, “If I had known where you were at I would have just driven over here in the first place.”

“I know. I didn’t think. I honestly didn’t know I was going to find much of anything.”

We loaded up and put everything under a tarp and then took off. As I drove and Thor rode his horse I asked him, “You really don’t mind? I know it is going to be a mess to bring in and find a place for.”

“I don’t see you complaining that I got all of that stuff out of the science rooms. What’s really eating at you.”

I sighed and then chuckled, “I guess I’m wondering if you are upset I asked for help with slaughtering the steer.”

He was silent so long I was beginning to worry. “No, I’m not upset. Just not sure what your game plan was.”

“Well, at least you’re giving me a chance to tell you. Mr. Hefling and Coach shut me down when I brought it up.”

“Make you mad?” he asked.

“Didn’t have chance to get mad at the time but now that you mention it I am a little ticked off. I just thought we could all save some time and work hours if we combined the task. We could trade off amongst ourselves at the end of it. Like we’re only going to have beef. I’d be willing to trade some beef for some chicken or pork or especially goat. Beyond that we could have saved fuel by only needing a couple of fires going instead of every family having one or two going at their own places. We could have combined the work of rending lard, making cracklin’s, cutting the meat up, cleaning the intestines for making sausages … company would have made the work go faster. I just don’t get why they cut me off the way they did.”

After a moment Thor said, “It might not that they didn’t think it was a good idea so much as they were afraid of showing what they had … or what they didn’t have. Just like you said with the winter meet, it could have set up envy and jealousy.”

“But we have Stro coming over.”

Thor chuckled, “Strother thinks like you. Little off kilter and just different enough from everyone else that his reactions to things aren’t necessarily typical. He’ll keep what we have under his hat but we should put something back for the little girl … Lulu ... just in case. That’s probably the only thing he’d ask for if he was hard up.”

“Yep, you’ve finally got Stro pegged. And I agree, something for Lulu. Mr. Dink and Miz Louise for sure as well. We really need to get those supplies brought out of that cave but I suppose they’ve been safe there for this long they can wait a bit longer.” Following where that train of thought led me I said, “I’d like to do something with what is in those #10 cans pretty soon. I can turn some of it into soups and stews and can that. I’ll dry some of the veggies and fruits or … wait … I’ll turn some of the fruits into leather and dry them that way. I wouldn’t mind making some fruit cakes either. Oh don’t give me that look,” I told Thor when he made a face. “You’ve never tasted our family’s fruit cake recipe. And I’ll make a few cakes in jars to get us through the winter though those things don’t last too long unless they are refrigerated.”

Thor smiled indulgently, “Big plans?” I opened my mouth then closed it. Losing his smile Thor asked, “Did I say something wrong?”

“No. I just realized.”

“What?”

“I’ve really taken over from Mom. The house … it’s ours now. The kitchen … it’s mine. In the spring when we plant … the garden … it’s just …”

Thor cleared his throat. “Let’s get you home. You’re tired and cold I expect. These big plans can wait. No need to take on so much all at once.”

And that’s where Thor and I disagreed. I loved him but he was not a country boy. He wasn’t afraid of work and he did have some idea of what it was going to take to keep up the farm, keep food on our table, and keep us safe … but only some idea. I knew. Oh yes I did. And it was something that was going to keep me up at night until I thought I had a better handle on it.
 

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 88

Contrary to my expectations I slept really well that night though some of it was due in part to simple fatigue. The other part was due to the fact that Thor kept me talking while we hauled everything inside and organized it into storage areas and I talked through some of my feelings. There wasn’t really time to chew on the what-if’s the next day either.

As soon as the light crested the ridge Thor and Mr. Dink set off for the Hefling place. Granny C, by way of the radio, had asked if Miz Louise could come. Seems a bad cold had started making the rounds and Granny wanted Miz Louise’s fifty years of expertise to brainstorm with. When they dropped her off they went by the cave and empted it by half and brought it back to the farm and unloaded. From there Thor took Mr. Dink back to the Hefling place and went to town to meet up with Sand and Johnson with a list of things he still wanted to get.

First thing I did, even before breakfast was finished cooking, was to open some of those #10 cans and get a great big mess of vegetable soup going and then another large pot of pasta sauce. It didn’t take long after Thor left for me to start filling quart jars and putting them in the pressure canners. The old woodstove was a big one. It was as hot as summer in the kitchen so I decided to make use of the heat and bathe and wash my hair since I was basically stuck inside anyway. I also washed under clothes and sponged the dirt and gunk out of my jackets and sweat shirts.

It wasn’t long before I had a better understanding of Mom and part of me felt bad. I had loved Mom and my grandmothers, respected them held them in high esteem but I hadn’t really understood them. I obeyed them when it came to learning the skills they had demanded I learn but I never felt the drive to excel at them particularly. I had never considered myself homemaker material; it just hadn’t been part of my mental landscape. When I became proficient at a homemaking skill they praised my work but I never really took it in that I could be homemaking for anyone besides myself or my parents in their old age. Maybe it is more correct that I chose not to think any other way.

Jonathon woke something inside me but still I saw no future beyond friendship and camaraderie. I didn’t have a clue what being a girlfriend meant, much less a wife, would mean to me personally. And then along came Thor. With him it was all physical attraction and adrenaline in the beginning. We grew closer and closer on the road once we finally admitted to ourselves and each other how deep it went. Then we arrived and life had been so chaotic and intense that I was operating on necessity and even some fear rather than desire. A few times before, especially after I was left at home while thor left to salvage I had begun to see myself in my mother’s place; but the position wasn’t really mine, I was just wearing her shoes. That long day of canning, dehydrating, organizing, and cleaning some final piece shifted inside me.

I also admitted to myself that plans or not, for just a brief moment after I had gotten my monthly I was just a little disappointed. I was also a little upset that Thor was relieved. It was a strange and freaky sensation. But I shook it off concerned that it was more loneliness than a real desire to have a baby. Something else I was waking up to was the appreciation of how well organized Mom had been.

The grandmothers had helped Mom until they had gotten too frail. Then Sarah had spent even more hours at our house after she graduated highschool and when Sand had been active duty. She’d been a cross between a friend, a little sister, and another daughter for Mom and had taken the place I guess Mom was always sorry I had no real interest in filling. I had always identified more with the stuff Dad taught me. I still did but I was also appreciating my mother’s side of things. I also realized I was still grieving for her because at one point I just flat out laid my head on the table and cried because I wanted so bad for her to be there … for me to apologize to and to show her all that I was doing and tell her thank you for teaching me even if I hadn’t been grateful for it at the time.

Vegetable soup , succotash, cakes in jars stored in the cold room, pasta sauce, fruit leathers, fruit cakes that I wrapped in brandy soaked cheesecloth, fruit that I had cooked down into preserves … the list was pretty long by the time that Thor came home for the day. To my pleasure he insisted on me showing him all I had done, he even asked questions which told me he was actually listening.

“You know I think we can make it.”

I gave him the look he deserved and asked, “Was there ever any doubt?”

“For the two of us? No. I figured that if things didn’t work out here you and I could move along for as long as we had to ‘til we found a place that would support us. Or even just have a couple of places we’d migrate to depending on the season, stay nomadic if you will.”

“Then why did you say what you did?” I asked as he washed up for supper.

“I meant a collective ‘we.’” He sat and we said grace so we could both eat all the leftover bits from the canning I’d done.

It was quiet while we knocked the edges off our hunger then he continued. “Now that we’re here and settling in properly I can see where this place fits in you like a piece of puzzle. I can see how these people have places in your life, especially a few of them. Just like you wouldn’t give this place up without a fight, there’s a few of them you’re the same way about. That knucklehead Jimmy Ray is one of them … and I understand why now too.”

Knowing Jimmy Ray I asked, “Uh oh. What happened in town?”

He smiled, “Let’s just say a group of trash talkers got their heads handed to them ... and it wasn’t just Jimmy Ray but he was the first one to bow up and strike back.”

I shook my head, “Thor next time stop them please.”

“Why?” he asked smiling.

“Why?! Well … because. It’ll just cause trouble and hard feelings.”

“Rochelle …”

“And that reminds me, just because I’ve given up trying to get you to call me Rocky doesn’t mean I want everyone calling me by my given name. Mr. Hefling did it yesterday and I like to have jumped out of my skin.”

Thor laughed outright at my expression. “Ro – chelle.”

“Thor,” I growled warningly but he only laughed harder.

Still smiling he shrugged. “What people call you is up to you to decide. If you don’t want them calling you Rochelle then don’t answer them when they do.”

I grumbled, “Didn’t work with you.” That only set him to laughing again.

“Look Hon, let the guys handle it their way. Males understand that better than you will.”

I snorted, “I know good and well what you’re talking about so don’t think I’m turning into a typical female all of a sudden. I know there’s a time and a place for handling things the guy way. But this involves me and I don’t want to cause problems.”

“You’re not the one causing problems. But trouble that’s caused needs to be answered. No more letting people use you as an excuse to express their ignorance, no more using you as a whipping post if they’re having a run of bad luck or suffering consequences from their own choices.”

“But …”

“No more buts. We need to know who our friends are and who aren’t. People who treat you without respect are just flat out my enemy.”

“Thor …”

“No. On this I’m pulling the man card.”

“The what?!”

“You know what I mean. And I really don’t want to argue about this. Your way may have worked before but life has changed and we’re changing our ways with it.”

The “man card.” Honestly. But I didn’t want to argue any more than he did so I let it go, but not without some qualms. Thor helped with the dinner dishes and then I put together a breakfast casserole for our guests in the morning.

As soon as we got up I put the casserole in the oven and went to work however Stro showed up some earlier than I had expected … and alone. He came in and warmed up by the fire as it had gotten considerably colder overnight.

“Tina wanted to come but the twins are sick and Lulu is getting it too. Neither one of us thought it was a good idea to have the kids out in this. Granny C said to warn you that it looks like the cold weather may be setting in for good this time and to keep the wood pile up because she thinks it is going to be another bad winter.”

Thor coming in made a face, “This isn’t cold?”

Stro and I looked at each other and then at him in sympathy. “It’s going to get a lot colder before it warms up again.”

Mr. Dink also showed up but without Miz Louise. “She’s staying to home. Don’t want her out in this stuff and she’s just plumb tuckered after yesterday. She needs to build up her energy and put some meat back on her bones before she gets out in this cold.”

So I found myself the lone female again. It didn’t bother me so much as I was beginning to see the disadvantages of it in a way I had not before. Stro, Mr. Dink, and Thor did the slaughtering and some of the trimming. I finished the finer trimming off and then prepared the cuts for canning, making jerky, or for tucking into the freezer though Stro and Mr. Dink weren’t to know that.

I put the shanks to making beef soups. I sliced most of the plate cut and cooked it for fajitas. Well, not fajitas exactly but I made some of the flat bread that I had learned from the Chuckri family and then chopped it up with rehydrated onions and peppers. Sure did go down good if the sounds coming for the guys was any indication. I set the brisket aside to make corned beef with. The ribs were set aside in the cold room in an ice chest after they had cooled outside in the cold air. The chuck I cut into stew meat and used the trimmings to make ground beef with, some of which I browned up and canned. All of that was only the front part of the steer.

The hindquarters made up the loin – short, sirloin, and tenderloin – the round, and the flank. I ground most of the flank except for a couple of flank steaks that I set aside for the freezer. The round I cut into stew meat as well except for a couple of round steaks. I wasn’t sure what to do with the loin since it seemed a shame to turn into hamburger or stew meat after I had taken out what I wanted for jerky.

That night while Thor sat dozing by the fireplace in our bedroom I tallied up the meat. We got about five hundred and seventy pounds which I knew for a fact because I had been cutting and weighing as I put the meat in the freezer that I didn’t can or jerk. From the chuck I got two hundred and nine pounds which included eighty-three pounds of ground beef and stew meat, thirty-one pounds of fat and bones, and the rest in steaks and roasts. From the round we got a hundred and fifty-five pounds including thirty-three pounds of ground round and thirty-two pounds of bones and fat. We got a hundred and thirty four pounds from the flank and brisket. From the loin we got a hundred and fifteen pounds including twenty-two pounds of ground beef and stew meat, twenty-six pounds of bone and fat, and the rest in steaks pretty much. There were a little over sixty-six pounds of ribs which was a dang lot of ribs. The rest of it was fat, suet, and the miscellaneous meats like the kidneys.

Thor insisted on sending some of the ribs home with Stro as a thank you – and he didn’t protest too much – as well as a promise that should he need any help and also sent some short ribs with Mr. Dink and promised him that I’d be canning up some other cuts in pint jars.

I felt like throwing something at Thor when he woke up briefly and said, “Geez I’m tired. At least we did most of the work for you.”

Most of the work for me?! I knocked that idea right out of his head over the next two days as he helped me to package, dry, grind, smoke, and can up the rest of the meat that I hadn’t been able to get to the day of the slaughter.

One thing was for sure. Granny C had been right, the day we slaughtered the steer was the last clear day for what seemed like weeks.
 

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 89

In November it never got out of the fifties and there were several very cold days, so cold in fact that when it did get into the fifties I thought it felt like a sauna. Thanksgiving passed by before either one of us thought about it and Christmas came and went with just a simple celebration and a get together with some families for a church service type of thing. Our present to each other was a Christmas tree; there wasn’t anything else we needed, not really.

In December and January we never got out of the forties with January being colder of the two; every night for two months it froze and on a few of those days it never thawed either. Just to be on the safe side we drained all of the pipes from upstairs and down and installed a diverter to prevent any water accidentally leaking out of our storage tanks. We never had a single frozen pipe though we heard that some houses did.

“Why there would still be water in those pipes after all this time I don’t know,” I said to Thor while we were working down in the basement. It stayed warmer down there than the rest of the house which meant we used less wood. I also cooked on the fireplace which is what I was doing while we talked.

“Mostly they were abandoned houses. The busted pipes wouldn’t have been noticed if people weren’t still trying to salvage anything useful. I’ve heard people are tearing out insulation and paneling, trying to harden their houses. No one thought to winterize the abandoned places from what I understand,” he replied. He added, “Water is a tight commodity for sure. The river is frozen over except in the very middle in a couple of places, or where people are keeping it cut open for fishing; and there’s been some sickness from people having to collect snow for water.”

“It’ll be another year or two before I trust snow … or snow melt in the rivers. Who knows what all is in the atmosphere from all of those terrorist attacks.” Thor nodded and we were both glad to have the wells we had on the farm. We did have to be careful with the well that was used to feed the trough in the corral and the automatic watering system for the chickens gave me so much grief as well that Thor figured out a small solar system to keep the cluckers warm enough so that they nor their water would freeze.

February was nearly as bad as January but it was time to put out the covered rows so that I could get the ground warmed up a little early. Thor and I had also been able to expand the green house by salvaging materials from all over the town and the nearest abandoned farms. We created our own version of a wood furnace to keep it warm with too. Heat was piped through the ground in buried lines as well as being released into the air to try and control some of the moisture problems. There could be snow all over the ground but right around and inside the greenhouse it was clear as can be. Going in and out of the greenhouse, from warm to cold, Thor developed a bad cold that took almost three weeks for him to completely kick.

“Bless you,” I told Thor after he sneezed for what seemed like the gazillionth time.

“I’m tho tired of this blathted cold. My head feelth like it ith going to explode. And if I have to drink anymore of that nathty tea I’m going to yak.”

I felt bad for him, neither one of us were particularly good patients while we were sick and it only meant the other person had that much more work to do. On the other hand I told him if I heard one more word about my teas that I was going to be the one to yak. Man-colds are near about as painful for the woman as they are for the man.

We were alone a great deal of time but it suited us. We did get off the farm on occasion to see Mr. Dink and Miz Louise and to meet up with a select group of other folks. Stro and Tina decided to make it official real quick. Guess two can sleep warmer than one but it sure seemed strange to think of my friend as the father of three which was what he basically was. We heard there was a little friction as all four generations tried to come to an understanding under one roof but they dealt with it in the family. Lawson looked like a lost puppy for a while as he’d always had Stro’s shadow to stand in … or hide in … and now Stro was too busy being something else besides his big brother. Johnson I think gave him some advice on how to handle it when big brother got a life of his own but I still heard that he didn’t know what to do with himself sometimes.

February I did some clean up of the asparagus beds but it would be a while before I started seeing any spears break the surface. That was also the month that we laid out the hoop row covers. Wish I had thought to get some of that started when it was warmer but I never had to plan it out all by myself, my folks always did it … I was just free manual labor.

First we had to till the ground and that was a trip. The mules weren’t the problem; it was finding the right equipment for the mules to pull. Thor looked at some of my dad’s books and the equipment in the barn and we finally had to give it up and run some of the diesel left in the farm tanks. Dad always kept a preservative in the tanks to keep things from gunking up during the off season so there weren’t any problems in that respect but the ground was frozen and didn’t want to be worked very much. Our main concern was the noise from running the tractor attracting unwanted attention.

Lordy mercy it was loud compared to the quiet that there had been before but we only had to run it one morning and was able to get a good sized garden tilled up. It was work though because we were working in compost and manure at the same time.

I started a lot of seeds indoors during the months of February and March but every time I thought about putting them out in cold frames or anything else we’d get another frost. Sometimes it is better to be late than early. By the end of March temperatures were reaching into the upper fifties and we could air out the house. I did a massive amount of spring cleaning and just about drove both Thor and Lady crazy, the cats too if they accidentally got under foot.

“To borrow your phrase Hon, what in the Sam Hill is all the fuss?” Thor asked the day I demanded we turn all of the mattresses and go through all of the linens in the house.

“It’s not a fuss, it’s a necessity. By turning the mattresses they’ll last longer and stay fresher. I’ve tried to come up with some ideas for when the mattresses finally go in case we can’t get a replacement but none of them are going to be as good as what we have now. So, the longer we can keep what we have now the better,” I answered him, at least as tired as he was.

“What did they do in the ‘olden days’?”

“As far as I can remember from what my grandmothers said that they had straw … ticks I guess you would call them. Sort of like mattresses but with no real body to them and they had to be emptied and refreshed at least once a year. Richer folks had thinner feather ticks on top of the straw ones. You could tie them at the corners to keep them from sliding away from each other. Then you tied on the bottom sheet to make it all a nice neat package. Add a flat sheet and a quilt for the summer and a comforter and/or extra quilts in the winter and that was pretty much it.”

Thor looked at me then sighed and said, “We’ll turn the mattresses for as long as we can. After a long day the last thing I want to do is sleep on something as hard as a board. I’ve gotten spoiled living indoors these last few months.”

“And I’ve gotten spoiled having a full belly. Spoiled enough that I can complain of wanting something fresh so bad I’m just about ready to go out and eat grass with the cow.”

Thor laughed but understood what I meant. I’d managed to find a few green things poking up through the snow in a few places but not enough to cut the cravings I was having. The herbs that I had growing in the green house made a smallish salad every few days but still that wasn’t enough. I’d always been a protein girl before so it made me wonder what I was lacking. I meant to ask Granny C but I never got a chance; the few times I actually made it to the Hefling place she was off tending to someone else.

In April, as promised, I finished all of the organizing that I had done during the cold months and we had a Spring Meet. Fewer people than expected showed up. Seems many slaughtered their work or travel animals to make it through the winter and when that ran out some simply starved to death. Thor, I, and the few others of our tight knit group did try to help where we could but as we knew it, it wasn’t enough for some.

There were people who simply gave up when they realized that they were living in the new normal. They couldn’t adjust fast enough, or didn’t want to adjust, I was never sure which. Poor nutrition sent a lot of people off to their Judgment Day early … or maybe on time because God knew when it was coming even if the rest of us did not. A few kids were orphaned but usually it was the young and old who went first. Maybe that was a blessing in this harsh and cruel world.

What did come during the Spring Meet was news from the outside world and it was more due to accident than on purpose which leads me once again to realize that God has plans that are hard to fathom. It seemed a coincidence, but true coincidences are rare as hen’s teeth and it might be that God just put people on the road at a certain time and place just to meet up with us on a certain time and place. Whatever, we were pleased to meet a real live Colonel of the US Army.

Thor looked him up and down politely and though some of his men seemed to bristle, Colonel Hardaway smiled and said, “Battlefield promotions.”

The colonel couldn’t have been but a few years older than Thor was. “Huh. That must have been some battle.”

Colonel Hardaway laughed outright at Thor’s expression, not the least offended which bumped him up a notch in my book. The Colonel asked if Thor would take a moment and meet with him. I went to follow but he gave me a look that I was not happy to receive. It wasn’t a public look that anyone would have recognized but I knew what he meant and I had a hard time keeping my face blank. Instead Thor asked if Mr. Hefling could come and the Colonel was amendable to that. I later found out my feathers had no reason to be ruffled. Thor’s idea was that I would clear the way if he had to make a quick exit … we wouldn’t both be caught on the same side of a line.

They were over an hour and I was just about to make some noise when Thor showed back up with his professional and serious face on. Mr. Hefling’s face was blank but it seemed his eyes had a faraway look that bothered me more than Thor’s expression did. Everyone watched the military caravan drive away although they also had their fair share of honest to goodness cavalry men and women on horses and mules as well as a bunch of soldiers on foot.

There was a general air of excitement as people rushed to ask Mr. Hefling and Thor when FEMA or some other emergency services would arrive with supplies. Into this noise the two men’s silence fell like a rock and people shut up and not a few of them looked afraid, like they didn’t want any more bad news confirmed. Thor looked at Mr. Hefling who just looked back at him and I realized they were wondering who was going to break the news.

I said, “OK, that’s enough.” Several people startled and I could see a bunch of owl-eyed folks looking my way. “Give it to us in small syllables and we won’t have to ask so many repetitive questions.”

Thor gave me a small smile. “All right, here it is. No one is coming. There are no supplies. The good news is the government isn’t looking to take what little bit we’ve got left here as they don’t want a fight and have bigger problems to deal with. The bad news is these troubles aren’t just happening in the US but are worldwide. Governments have fallen, risen, and fallen again. There are some countries that are only in existence because they already are on the map … but hardly any are left to lay claim to it within their borders. And the US wasn’t the only country to get sabotaged by an EMP device.”

A voice from the crowd say, “Liar!”

Before I had a chance to bow up Jimmy Ray had round housed the man and then said, “He’s had that coming for weeks now. You all know who he is and why. You’ve heard the rumors of just how his kids disappeared … four and five year olds don’t just run away like he claims.”

Yeah, there had been rumors of cannibalism. I don’t guess any society, even a supposedly modern and enlightened one, can escape it. Some folks are just animals.

Thor continued speaking to everyone after a nod at Jimmy Ray. “Feel free to believe me or not but we may not be out of the woods yet. There are some countries … the remnants of Russia and China, a militant religious coalition of people from the Middle East, and a few other groups from places like Eastern Europe and Northern Africa … that are … well, let’s just call it salvaging for now … from all over the world trying to rebuild what they’ve managed to secure. The US military and state militias fight off outside groups every day who are trying to cross our borders to obtain what we have. The winter kept us insulated for a time but winter is coming to an end and so is what little safety it gave us.”

Stro asked, “Are you saying we can expect foreigners to come traipsing through here trying to take our crops, animals, and what have you?”

Thor shrugged, “We’re pretty remote with no major landing strips for large planes but that won’t prevent helicopters from being utilized. So far they are sticking mainly to the coastal regions though a few have gotten as far inland as Kansas looking for grain. Most of the time the local population handles things but the invaders have been successful enough times that it has emboldened them to continue to try. Our southern border is a mess but you can take it to the bank that Texas is still Texas and Texans are still Texans. The bodies are piling higher and deeper but it is only proving to be a foundation for the wall that is being built down there by the convicts and illegal immigrants who are no longer being treated with kid gloves. Problem is that is still better than some have it at home and they have nearly as many foreign born ‘volunteers’ as properly convicted invaders. The northern border is as leaky as a sieve but so far the Canadians are irritated enough at people trying to use their country as egress into this one for illegal activity that our two nations are working together pretty effectively though it has taken some reshuffling of priorities for some of the remaining bureaucracy.”

“And?” I asked. Thor raised his eyebrow asking me what I meant. “Knowing this stuff is all well and good but exactly what is that Colonel expecting from us in return for the knowledge.”

Thor gave me a sly smile, “To the point, as always.” He kissed me causing some people to flap at the delay and others to wolf whistle. As for me, when he was done all I said was, “I’m waiting.”

Mr. Hefling was finally getting his feet back under him. I guess it is one thing to theorize what was going on out beyond our town’s borders but quite another to have them confirmed. He said, “They want us to rebuild, not just our lives but our town such as it is. They want us to keep the roads open and in good repair the best we can, allowing any traffic to flow freely so long as they aren’t obvious threats. The US population has been cut roughly in half from what they’ve been able to tell from their initial analysis. In some places that percentage is higher and some places it is lower, migration out of the urban areas has added to population loss over the winter.”

A woman I recognized as one of the old grade school teachers asked, “Are you sure it isn’t worse than that? Look what happened around here. I don’t think we have a quarter of our population that we had pre-EMP.”

Thor answered her. “There were places in the north east and in the Deep South that have lost very few people. In the far regions the EMP effects were not nearly as consistent as they were in the center of the Continental US. They expect more loss of life in the south and southwest this summer than they had over the winter. California had very few mass casualty attacks … guess the greenies didn’t want to poop in their own back yard. But there are pockets of California that have been devastated by infrastructure failure associated with the EMP. So many people headed for the coast of Cali in search of water that the east coast has risen a few extra inches out of the water.”

I rolled my eyes while a couple of people snorted at his explanation. Thor was learning how to talk mountain speak like a native and a tall tale or good exaggeration always went over well with a crowd.

“Uh huh,” I said. “Do they expect us to start seeing any of this ‘migration’ or whatever they call it? Will it be the same as we saw on the road getting here?”

Mine weren’t the only questions and the two men basically sat down and had a town meeting right there in the dirt. I wandered away knowing I’d hear it again once we got home and maybe in greater detail with more of Thor’s personal take on things. I went looking for Granny C and found her talking to a couple of other women.

She looked at me good and then nodded sociably to the others before walking with me back to the family wagon. “So ye think ye might be?”

I smiled and then stopped. “I’m pretty sure I am. I’ve missed twice now. Once I could put down to hard work and an irregular cycle but twice … I think I am.”

“Have ye said anything to your man yet?”

“No, but I need to soon. We are supposed to start planting tomorrow and I don’t want him to start treating me funny. I’m not sure how he’ll take it.”

“You’ll never know until you spit it out.”

I nodded, “I know. But … did … did Mom ever say anything to you … about … to you about if the doctors told her anything about me? About me having kids?”

She put her hands on her hips and gave me a look. “You picked a fine time to start worry about it.”

“Trust me, I know. I didn’t really want to think about it. As far as I know I’m all normal where I need to be but … I guess …”

She finally relented and patted my arm. “You’re wondering if your ma didn’t keep something from you?” At my nod she said, “No. As far as I know you’re just a big girl now that you’ve outgrown the punies you had as a little child. That don’t mean you can just go larking about though. Your man ain’t exactly small and between him and you there’s a good chance your babies are gonna have some size to them. You weighed what fifteen pounds?”

I made a face, “Fifteen pounds, five ounces and Mom couldn’t have any more after me because of all the cutting they had to do and the bleeding she did.”

Granny C frowned, “I always wondered if they did all they could or if …”

“If what?”

“Well child, there were plenty of folks that never expected you to draw your first breath and plenty of them took it further and didn’t want you to draw your first breath. Your parents faced a lot of pressure because they refused to kill you in the womb. I always wondered if … maybe … that doctor that was on duty that night you were born did all he could have done for your ma. Your da always wondered the same thing but there was no fixing things the way they were broke so they gave it to the Lord and learned to feel blessed ‘cause they were the ones He chose to have you.”

I’d heard a bit of the story over the years despite my parents always refusing to discuss it outright. “So what does that mean for me?”

“It means that we watch and we wait. Do you know how much Thor weighed at birth?”

I nodded. “Ten thirteen. His mom was a normal sized woman even though his dad was nearly as tall as he is. She didn’t even have to have a C-section which … I mean …”

“I know child, I know. But there isn’t anything I can do about it. I will tell you there were a lot of those Roman cuts that took place that didn’t need to just ‘cause either women or the doctors made the choice rather than letting nature take its course. We aren’t going to have that choice anymore, least ways not around here. You’re just going to have to stay healthy, active, and listen to what your body tells you. Just don’t go listening to Sarah, she’ll scare you to death for no reason. Honestly that girl is something else.”

I blushed. I had been listening to Sarah tell the gory story of the birth of her son. That’s one reason why it had taken me so long to get up the nerve to talk to Granny C.

I looked down at my still trim stomach and tried to imagine what I would look like. Granny C caught me looking and laughed. “Don’t you take the cake. You’ll be lucky to show at all if all you get is a regular sized ‘un. You’re so long the baby could stretch from here to Richmond and no one would notice.”

A little relieved I said, “Hopefully that’ll keep people from talking for a while. I can hear them now, wondering if I’m going to have a mutant or something.”

“Just you never mind what others say. You enjoy what God has blessed you with for as long as you’re allowed to keep ‘em. Mine never made it out of the hospital and sometimes that is just God’s plan though I’m determined to ask Him why when it’s my turn up to the Pearly Gates. But I raised my sister’s bunch and I’m not ashamed to say that I think most of ‘em turned out decent enough though we’ve not heard from the others …” I saw a sorrow that crossed everyone’s face from time to time. We’d all lost people. Or even if they hadn’t passed beyond the veil they were beyond our reach to communicate with.

I left Granny C and went around the few tables and blankets that had been set up making a few trades here and there, including one for stud service for our cow who was now healthy enough that I didn’t worry about losing her should she take with the first mating.

I noticed something as I walked around. The women looked road hard and hung up wet in a way the men did not. Part of it was that I was seeing the real girl or woman and not one that had make up on or her hair done up with a color or perm. Part of it was that the winter really had been hard on everyone, but there was just some indefinable something that I couldn’t put my finger on exactly. I knew that it wasn’t unusual for men to go through more than one wife or wives to go through more than one husband in the “olden days” as Thor called them … and not because of family court either. Childbirth used to take off a lot of women – babies too – prior to the 1950s or so. But only a few of these women looked to be in that age range and most of them were old enough to have gotten that problem fixed already. Maybe it was just grief. Maybe it was fear, the kind that most men will never understand just because they are hardwired different than females. Whatever it was it was there, just below the surface and it gave me a lot to think about.

We soon left and Thor talked off and on most of the way home filling me in on some things. I listened and took it in, even asked some questions, but I was preoccupied with my own thoughts. When we got home it was almost too late in the day to start anything new so I just checked on what we had in progress and then felt the need to wander through our supplies a bit while a dinner of stew that I would serve over rice simmered on the stove.

Thor found me running my hands over things and counting silently. “Whatcha doin’?”

I shrugged then asked him, “How do I look?”

“Huh?” he asked in surprise. I rarely asked him to comment on my looks. I always thought asking a man if something made you look fat or whatever was unfair after seeing Dad get that deer in the headlights look a few times with Mom.

A little impatient with myself, “Forget it.”

“Uh uh,” he said grabbing me around the waist when I tried to brush by. “Someone say something today?” he asked protectively.

“No. It’s just … I didn’t know how to explain it very well.”

“Just what?” There are days when I doubted Thor had the patience of a flea but that moment wasn’t one of them. He had his “Job Look” on and I knew he could out wait me.

I shrugged. “Those women today, they looked … well some of them anyway … looked bad. Rough I guess, like … Oh for pity sake, I don’t know.”

But Thor actually nodded. “I know Hon. Women age different, you can see it all on the surface. I saw a lot of that over in the Middle East. Women marry young, have children young, nutrition isn’t great, medical care is worse, and don’t get me started on dental issues. They see a lot of sorrows. They just seem to age faster than their male counterparts of the same age. And too their veneer of civilization has been peeled away … make up, hair, all that false camouflage. I always appreciated that you were more natural in how you approached life, gave me a better idea of what you really looked like.”

I chuckled, “You mean you weren’t buying a pig in a poke?”

“Uh … if I say yes will it get me in trouble?”

I laughed outright at his look. “No, of course not. But I am realizing that I’ve missed out on the chance to play dress up and try and knock your socks off.”

“Girl, you’ve been knocking me right out of my socks since the day I met you.” Well that led to some cuddling and cooing until I remembered the stew. It was a little scorched on the bottom but Thor laughed off my upset and said it was worth it.

Later that evening I was still struggling with how to tell him I was pretty sure that our timing beat the cow. I sat in my favorite chair by the fire with Lady draped across my feet when suddenly I heard, “Hey, sleepyhead, wouldn’t you be more comfortable in the bed?”

I’d fallen asleep without planning to and I knew there was no reason for me to be so tired … at least no more tired than I was any other night. That told me as much as anything else that I couldn’t put it off anymore, it wasn’t fair to Thor.

I crawled in bed and pulled the covers up and then enjoyed watching him get ready to join me.

“Um, Thor?”

“Hmmm?” he asked as he started to climb in.

“I’m pretty sure I’m pregnant.”

Thud! He’d completely missed the bed.
 

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 90

I rolled over to the side of the bed and stuck my head over. Thor had a look on his face that made him appear like he’d been hit between the eyes with Mom’s best cast iron skillet. We just sort of stared at eatch other. Finally I got tickled at the look on his face and no matter how I tried I could stop the snicker that wanted to escape.

“Rochelle, are you messing with me?” Thor asked suspiciously.

“No,” I said choking off another laugh. But then I took a good look at his expresses and started to wonder. “Would … would you prefer that I wasn’t?”

He sat up and then got off the cold floor while I moved back over to my side of the bed. However, Thor didn’t come back to be but stood before the fireplace.

“Thor?”

“No, I … you just caught me off guard.” That’s what he said but I was pretty sure that wasn’t what he was thinking.

The room was dark except for the light that came from the banked fire in the grate. I was already tired and the limited lighting and the warmth of the pile handmade quilts I was snuggling under weighed my eyelids down.

“Rochelle this changes everything,” Thor said abruptly, starting me out of an incipient doze.

With my eyes still closed I said, “No kidding, but it was always going to eventually.”

Thor was silent and finally I mustarded enough energy to pry my eyes open a crack. Thor was staring down into the orange coals and his body language told me he was feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders. I started to get out of bed and go to him but Thor turned at the sound of the covers rustling and rumbled, “Stay in bed.” But I also heard what he didn’t say, “… because you’re pregnant.”

As tired as I was I was more determined to straighten this out. “You aren’t going to get all strange like some guys do are you?”

That finally got me a focused look. “I don’t know what you mean.”

I yawned, sat up yet again and said, “Bet you do whether you want to admit it or not. For the last time I’m not made of glass. I’m not going to melt in the rain. I’m not going to go all weird just ‘cause I’ve got a bun baking.” After a breath I said, “OK, so I might get a little strange – Dad said Mom did – but time will cure that, at least ‘til the next one.”

He swallowed some spit the wrong direction and coughed out, “Next one?!”

“You only want one? Which flavor?”

“What? No,” he said flustered.

“No what? You …”

Starting to come out of the weird twilight zone act Thor growled, “Dang it Rochelle!” I didn’t know whether Thor’s hair on his head or in his beard was going to need more combing out.

Fluffing my pillow, preparing for a late night discussion I said, “Thor, just tell me …”

I never got to finish. Thor was on my side of the bed in only a couple of steps and he yanked me into his arms. Then it was my turn to squeak; he was hugging me so tight I just about couldn’t breathe. Under normal circumstances that might have led to something else but this wasn’t normal circumstances, least ways not the first time around I had to tell him I was pregnant. He finally let loose enough that I could tilt my head back and say, “So … you’re happy about it?”

Thor kissed the top of my head and instead of answering asked a question of his own, “Have you talked to Ms. Hefling?”

“What’s to talk about?” As Thor’s eyebrows snapped into an irritated V I told him, “Yes, I did. Today. Relax already.”

“Relax?! You’re gonna have a baby!”

As dryly as I could managed I said, “Yes I am. And I’m pretty happy since the baby is yours. Not sure how I’d feel otherwise.”

Thor gave a good imitation of a wide mouth bass. I kissed him in part to shut his mouth and then because I wasn’t tired anymore and had started thinking about something else.

Thor groaned, “Play fair girl. This is what got us into trouble.”

“We’re not in trouble, we’re married. I hope the baby is a boy, I’m not sure I’d know what to do with a girl.”

Thor groaned again, admitted defeat by bowing to the inevitable and finally started to relax albeit reluctantly. Just to be contrary I’m sure he said, “Well I hope it’s a girl, one just like you.”

“Uh uh, not like me,” I contradicted a little disturbed at the image of it.

“OK,” he admitted. “Maybe not with your same problems but with your personality.”

Arching my eyebrow I asked, “You want her to hang around with guys so much she can pass for one?”

Thor got a slightly alarmed look on his face that he quickly hid … but not quickly enough for me not to see it … and said, “OK, so maybe not exactly like you … or me either. I still think a little girl would be best to have first. Chuckri said girls are easier to raise.”

I gave him a penetrating look and then he remembered that Chuckri hadn’t exactly been right about that particular bit of wisdom and blanched. I smiled and then in compromise I said, “Boy first, then a girl.”

Thor got a close to panicked look on his face and said, “Let’s get through the first one before we go making a blasted wish list.” We both crawled back in the bed from my side and then cuddled for a few minutes just communing without words. “Hon, you sure you’re OK? I can’t … I … I can’t lose you.”

“Stop worrying about what we might lose and be joyful about what we’ve gained. It’s not like we’re doing this alone.”

Thor said with a snort, “You never struck me as someone who bought into the it-takes- a-village crap … especially given your background.”

Rolling my eyes whether he could see it or not I told him, “I’m not. I’m talking about God.” When Thor didn’t say anything I poked him in the ribs.

“Hey!” he yelped. “Watch those boney fingers before they put a hole in me.”

“My fingers aren’t boney, they are large and capable and I haven’t even started trying to give you what for yet,” I warned him. “Are you forgetting what Uncle Bedros said?”

Thor sulked, “Bedros isn’t here.”

I poked him again before saying, “No kidding, but God is and you know it. I thought I was the worrywart in this family. If I’m not worried then you shouldn’t be. I trust God to plan things right. And I trust that you’re an instrument of God’s plan.” Then I chuckled.

“I don’t see anything funny,” Thor said more than a bit miffed.

“Not laughing at you so don’t get bent out of shape, I was remembering something my parents used to do. See when things would happen, especially things that looked bad at first glance, one would look at the other and say, ‘Romans 8:28 Sweetheart.’ They said it a lot.”

I could hear the disbelief coloring his voice when Thor asked, “And that made it all better?”

“All better? No, not every time, but it at least got them heading in the right direction. I remember one year Dad had just field of gorgeous corn coming up, some of the best looking he’d ever had. It was only about two feet tall when a freak storm hit our little valley and destroyed all of it; every stalk in every field. All that time and money was just gone in a single night and it was too late to replant … at least in corn. Dad was staring at the sky and Mom and I were really worried. His hands were balled into fists. Then Dad turned around and looked at Mom and said, ‘Romans 8:28 Baby’ before going to get his truck and take off to the feed store to pick up potatoes and squash seeds.”

“And I repeat, that helped?”

I shrugged, “We were the only ones that were damaged by that storm cell. Everyone else felt sorry for us, thought we were finally going under. Had a bunch of offers that didn’t even come close to what the farm was worth, even with depressed land values. The price of corn had been going up every year and most farmers were looking to end up well in the black for the first time in a while. Then they approved that new fuel additive out of the blue – you remember that? – and started phasing out ethanol. Mexico had a fantastic harvest and China and Brazil also had bumper crops. Corn prices and futures tanked. Dad worked it out. God letting our corn be destroyed saved the farm. On top of that the squash and potatoes did better than we could have hoped for, primarily because of all of the extra compost that was tilled in. What looked like a disaster at first wound up saving us in the long run.”

Thor was quiet so long I thought I’d put him to sleep but then he murmured in my ear, “Fine, we’ll try it your way. But I still want a little girl.”

I snorted, “You’re just afraid you’re gonna have one just like you.”

Thor shuddered theatrically and said, “Don’t jinx us Hon.” After some more cuddling we both fell asleep with smiles on our faces.

The next couple of weeks was an exercise in patience for both of us. Thor would try and get over protective and I’d have to set him straight. Then morning sickness finally struck and I became very tired by the end of the day and had to be the one to accept that sometimes he was right about needing more help. He’d take it too far and we’d start all over again.

Thor would get particularly irritable when others would assume I would tote and carry as I always had but I begged him not to say anything to anyone. I was keep the pregnancy a secret for as long as I could. Only Granny C knew at first and I trusted her not to let the cat out of the bag. Thor soon convinced me to let him tell Mr. Dink and Miz Louise but they too understood and kept the information to themselves.

Eventually I stopped going to town but it wasn’t because I was showing; at five months my waist was thicker but I still appeared slimmer than I had when I played football. There was no question that I was pregnant though I sometimes wondered in the beginning if I hadn’t been imagining things. That flew right out the window however the first time I felt the baby move and when Thor felt the baby flutter underneath his hand he was almost impossible for over a week. I think becoming a father must be like a huge combined shot of adrenaline, dopamine, and testosterone; it turns some men real strange until their hormones stabilize. But truth be told the biggest reason I didn’t go to town was that I just couldn’t spare the time to socialize; there was just too much to do.

March and April was garden prepping and planting things in the green house and the hooped row covers. We mulched the garden beds with three inches of organic mulch. That was such a big job that Thor ran the spread on the tractor again. The chickens also wanted out more which meant making sure the blasted things couldn’t get out to attract trouble to the rest of the flock. The horses and mules smelled spring and got so frisky that we enlarged the corral so they’d have more room to kick up their heels and frolic. We spent a lot of time pruning trees but to address the work we went in shares with Stro and Sand and their brothers. No one else was informed of the old orchards for obvious reasons. The small branches when through manual shredder and larger one were cut up and put in the wood pile to season for later use. Repairs were made around the farm caused by neglect and the harsh winter weather.

May was time to plant. Since Thor and I had agreed that succession planting rather than a ginormous field of something all planted at once was better for our current needs we would plant several rows of things rather than an acre at a time. Potatoes, corn, winter squash, tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, and bits of this and that. We’d get to the end and then turn around and start another round that was at least a week separate from the first rows.

One of Thor’s reasons for asking me to stay at the farm most of the time was because strangers were beginning to use the highway that ran through town and everyone had learned to be cautious with them.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 91

The strangers. I never thought much about the people that used the road through town very much. They were locals, tourists, or strangers and that was the sum total of it. However, since forced to be a traveler for most of a year I had a completely different outlook. I knew how diverse the migrating population here in the country really was. And because of security reasons it was especially important that we all keep an eye on who the travelers were that used what we considered to be “ours” in a much more real and basic way that we ever had before.

The roads no longer belonged to the feds, the state, or the local government … they were “ours” to use and maintain and protect. The buildings – rundown and picked clean or not – didn’t belong to the county or some unseen landlord … they were ours, our resource, our shelter, our source of raw materials as need be. Also, the wild edibles surrounding the roads and buildings and off into the woods were just as much ours as the gardens that were intentionally planted. And what was “ours” we would protect.

Locals used the roads certainly, and the buildings in town. Some locals had even moved back into town, turning small office complexes into new businesses or into housing for them and their extended family. No one said anything, nowhere was it written down, but there was an agreement that if someone moved into a building in town then that building was no longer thought of as salvage; however, it was also an unwritten rule that you couldn’t claim more than you could physically live in. For instance, a family couldn’t move in and suddenly say that they “owned” a whole block so no one else could salvage from it.

For the most part it was a peaceful arrangement though there were a few dust ups, but somehow authority figures began to grow out what was once all haphazard and disorganized. And what grew out of the new organization and efficiency was a realization that what was “ours” was being chipped away by the people using the road through our town.

If you weren’t a local you were automatically a stranger, at least in the beginning. As we began to be more observant and traffic on the roads increased the strangers started falling into different categories. Some were legitimate business people that were setting up trade routes or looking to create trade partners. Some were military and civilian security forces; they had their own followers that were like the suttlers of old.

Some were nothing more than opportunists or criminals looking to escape justice in one place, taking what they could as they made their way to a new base of operations to continue their chosen activity. We had a couple of groups like that try and set up shop in Damascas and we were forced to burn them out … literally … after they had victimized some of the weakest in our community. Thor organized those war parties and in the process became the unofficial head of security for our outlying areas.

The worst group by far in my opinion were what I dubbed the pathetic ones. On the one hand they broke your heart, especially the children, but at the same time they didn’t seem to want to learn how to take care of themselves. It was like the drive and initiative had been beat out of them. Thor and I had long discussions about this category of people; how they had come to be what they were and if there was any hope for them.

“Hon, save your sympathy. Most of these people spent a lifetime being supported by other people’s tax dollars. Their drive to succeed hasn’t been beat out of them, it’s been bred out of them. They are the result of multi-generational dependency on the government.”

Call it being pregnant and hormonal or whatever you want, I didn’t want to believe that people couldn’t be saved. “It’s been over a year since things fell apart. Surely they would have learned by now that no one is going to come along and save them; that they’re going to have to save themselves or whatever you want to call it. They have to feed their kids. No one would choose to be a beggar their whole life … would they?”

Thor stooped and kissed my bandana covered head where I was sitting and weeding the garden. “How do you think they’ve gotten along this far? They take whatever people will give them and then when nothing is left they move on. Some end up joining the highway gangs if they’ve got any gumption at all, and those are usually the kids, but not even the gangs seem to want these people for much beyond cannon fodder. These are the dregs, former drug addicts, the sick and dying, the women too skanky to even prostitute themselves anymore, and the ones that have given up and chosen to go where ever the tides of life send them.”

I shook my head in denial, “Not all of them are like that. Some just look like they’ve hit a really bad patch in life. All they need is … I don’t know … a little help, a little guidance to teach them how to make it in this world because what they came from before was so different they’ve lost their way.”

Thor leaned on the hoe and looked me square in the eye. “You’re more tenderhearted than you’ve ever wanted to let on. I should have known after you picked up those two kids and then just let Chuckri and that woman have them without a by your leave. And don’t tell me that didn’t hurt because I was there and saw it whether you want to admit it or not.”

“It was what was best. Besides, we’ve got one of our own coming now.”

He nodded and said, “And that’s why I’m asking you not to go into town anymore if it can be avoided, at least for a while.”

When I have him a look … not angry, just suspicious but reserving judgment … he grimaced. “I know. And I know I’m asking a lot but I have my reasons.” And he did and I agreed to the restraints on my freedom after hearing him out.

The locals – our people – weren’t completely heartless. We had tried to help the strangers as they came through but they didn’t make it easy. Eventually at all entrances into town and the backcountry we hung signs that read, “Give a man a fish and you have fed him for today; teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a life time. Welcome to Damascus, all visitors are required to have their own fishing gear.” Some signs weren’t quite that nice or philosophical. Some simply read, “No Handouts” or “No Beggars” or even more brutally “No warning given! Looters shot on sight!”

Not everyone appreciated the signs. The security forces politely asked that we refrain from intimidating outsiders. We just as politely told them that we’d do what was necessary to protect our own citizens thank you very much for your concern. A few of the migrating groups tried to push their luck and then found out just how serious we were when the town’s own security forces – led by a good man by the name of Martin Kildare – started arranging barricades that funneled travelers along the highway with only one or two tightly controlled places to turn around at. You didn’t stop except at designated areas outside of the areas of town that were secured. The wall was mostly made up of wrecked cars stacked on top of one another but other debris was used when we ran out of autos.

We weren’t unfriendly, just wary. You see the pathetic ones weren’t always healthy and often seemed to practice a very lackadaisical hygiene. Our wariness paid off in early June when a group came him that had some members suffering from what the military eventually told us was measles. Seems most of the kids in the group had their vaccinations but the adults had let their booster shots lapse. When we still had access to a fully functional modern hospital the likelihood of death from measles was less than one percent but between one thing and another the military docs told us that measles outbreaks were generally causing a 30% mortality rate in addition to the other complications from measles … ten percent with permanent hearing loss, two or three percent of cases turning into encephalitis usually fatal, five to ten percent of survivors have some permanent loss of sight due to the associated conjunctivitis, and then some kind of degenerative nerve condition that was more common than it should have been.

All in all I agreed – at least for the sake of the baby’s safety – to stay on the farm. At first I thought I’d be resentful of staying put on the days Thor went off to meet up with other people whether in town or on one of the outlying farms. While I was on occasion, it was not nearly as often as I thought I would be. For the most part I didn’t feel left behind or left out. Strangely enough for a while I was simply content to be left alone. It gave me time to work … and think.

My place in the old gang was changing. I was always part, yet set apart, from my real friends. No matter how accepting they were of me there was always just a little disconnect between their view and my reality. Once I finally made my way in and settled in I was just “one of the guys.” But I wasn’t, not really, and now my reality was forcing them to change their view. Or maybe it was more true to say that I didn’t view myself that way anymore and they were being forced to change because of that.

Not only was I not that young girl anymore, the one whose only goal was to find satisfaction and recognition for being part of the team of young men in all the many guises we grouped in – football, venturing, friendship – I wasn’t even a girl anymore but a woman fully grown. I knew my biology would have always set me apart from them no matter what. I knew I was what I was because God had allowed it to be so; and like the Bible tells us had known me from the womb. I didn’t resent being a girl. What I had resented for so long was that being a girl had hindered me from doing what I was best at. But my feelings were changing.

I had started to feel that in being Thor’s bride, and raising this baby, I was even closer to being what I was created to be. I still wondered what would happen if for some reason my body was set up to make babies that lived beyond my body or that my genes were any good at growing babies at all. I couldn’t take that for granted even if I had felt the baby move. And Thor and I had talked about adopting and we might still; given how the world was it wasn’t outside of the realm of possibility. I thought about winding up like Granny C and realized that wasn’t such a terrible fate if it was the one that God had designed for me.

The day I finally accepted that, accepted that I was no longer the girl I had been but was a woman fully grown I nearly sat down in the middle of the potato patch and laughed at myself and all the silly philosophizing that I had been doing when the answers, in the end, had been so simple and so inevitable. I turned to Lady who was ecstatically smelling the freshly turned dirt of the new hills and said, “’Bout time don’t ya think?”

A quiet woof was my reply. Lady was still more quiet than most dogs. Thor and Jimmy Ray had had some luck encouraging her to call for hunting which drew her out of her shell with each success, but she was still pretty quiet for a hound. She did howl on occasion and she was eloquent when she did it. She had a call that was particular to Thor but she would only do it when he’d been gone all day and didn’t come home until we’d come inside for the night. She had another that was for either Stro, Sand, or one of the few others we’d taught her was friend. Thor and I could also tell the difference if she smelled someone she knew but wasn’t a “friend” and when she smelled a stranger. Her hunting calls were different from her announcement of human presence.

Jimmy Ray had found the carcasses of what he suspected where her mother and litter mates. They were in a fancy dog run and kennel behind a house that had obviously been broken into by a bear from all the claw marks. Something had gotten to the mom and some of the pups, the others look like they had starved to death. Whether Lady was the only one to escape through the open gate was uncertain but she was the only loose hound pup that anyone had admitted to finding. Luckily he was able to salvage the breeding records from the kennel’s office and used those to trace to another breeder that was happy to get rid of his remaining dogs so he could migrate to his son’s place in good conscience and unencumbered.

Jimmy Ray was like a kid at Christmas and was soon to bring a good income to his family raising and training dogs. In the process he met a woman that was a dog handler for a private security company. She was about seven years older than him but apparently everyone was pleased at the attachment they were developing, especially Jimmy Ray’s family. Her name was Gloria and when her company disbanded after several communities could no longer employee them she decided that Damascus looked like a good place to settle down and she and Jimmy Ray were often seen together … with a dog or three between them.

The lives of all my old gang were changing. Stro was married with three children to raise, Sand had his hands full at home too between Sarah and their new baby. Johnson and Lawson were learning to be uncles and were looking over the crop of young women that lived in the area … most of whom were guarded by very careful male relatives leaving them to do most of their romantic shopping amongst the sisters and daughters in families that already knew them well, though that had its down side as well. The other guys were just as busy looking or courting their prospects, at least when they had a spare moment. There was so much work to be done that no one had much time to play.

May gave way to June and my lettuce was giving me enough greenery that I could send some to town with Thor to trade to those that hadn’t been able to grow their own. The alliums were also making a good crop – chives, scallions, pearl onions, and the larger onions; I dried some, canned some, braided a bunch of them together and hung them up, and still had a few to trade, though not many were left over once I’d taken what I thought we’d need. My one great pregnancy mistake was when I first had to thin them out. Instead of putting the thinned out ones in for the chickens – you never give alliums to pigs – I wound up eating them myself in some strange craving. Oh glory did I pay for that for two days … and Thor did too because my belches would have made Sasquatch’s eyes water.

The cabbage I horded jealously. The heads were huge and beautiful and I decided to keep them all and trade only if my fall crop, the plants that I had just started in the green house, did as well as my summer crop was doing. I was just setting my first celery seedlings out of doors, the same as a lot of my later crops like sweet potato, tomatoes, pepper plants, winter squash, and melons. Everything was growing by leaps and bounds … except my belly. I could still see my toes despite being six months along. The baby was growing however because Miz Louise showed me how to measure where the top of my uterus was and she said I was “on track” whatever that meant.

I’d get the most awful backaches though, worse than I ever did when I played football. “Well Sugar, I reckon it’s because you’re all muscle compared to most women. Your abdominal muscles are keeping you all held in, like a girdle. That means the baby is growing up inside you instead of out. You’re jus lucky you’re as long as you are or I reckon you’d be having a lot of trouble breathing in the coming months. But after hearing you let in to that boy Lawson letting his horse wander into your seed bed,” she laughed. “It doesn’t sound atal’ like you’ve got that problem right yet.”

Nope. I could still give a royal what for when called upon. Lawson swore that had to have been the mules that untied his horse from the corral fence but I wasn’t having none of it. Even if it was the mules – and I didn’t necessarily doubt that they hadn’t gotten up to mischief and done exactly what he claimed that must have – the fact of the matter he should have known better. Thor put a hitching post right there in plain sight and he would have only had to walk another five steps to have done the thing properly.

Poor Lawson, but he wasn’t the only one that got the rough side of my temper when they came around and caused me extra work because they didn’t use commonsense. I nearly through a skillet at Johnson when he let the kitchen door slam and a cake I was baking fell flat as a flitter as a result. Earl Lee, one of Coach’s grandsons, caught heck when he didn’t latch the chicken yard gate the right way and the wind yanked it open.

Still, the lot of ‘em would still slink around if Thor was home. They’d make out some excuse that they’d come to see him about something but somehow or other they all left with some cookies, doughnuts or a slice a cake in their belly. They knew better than to come if Thor wasn’t home because I usually had a to do list as long as my leg of things they could help me with and since it is no secret how tall I am that was some long list.

That list in June included helping me to pick all of the cherries and mulberries that were coming in. Thor nearly had a coronary when he caught me up in the cherry tree; sometimes I kind of forgot I was pregnant. Rather than have him glowering and stomping around I promised I would stay out of the trees if he would wrangle Stro or Jimmy Ray to come help pick them. Since I knew both of them could eat cherry or mulberry pie all day long and still have room for more paying them in a good meal and a pie to take home was a lot easier than having Thor hover.

I wasn’t unhappy with the way life was changing for me but it sure did take getting used to. And I swore to Thor that if Stro or Sand called me “Mawmaw” one more time … as in “Yes, Mawmaw, we uns will get right on that right now so we don’t get a whoopin’” or “Yes Mawmaw, we won’t play over thar ‘cause it might be get something broken” or something equally as provoking … that I would not be answerable for the damage I would do to them.

“They’re just joking Hon,” Thor chuckled.

“Yeah, well the joke’s gonna be on them. See if there’s any more sweets for them anymore if they’re gonna act like buncha escapees from the local asylum. And it isn’t funny so stop laughing,” I grumped at seeing his big, toothy grin.

He got up from the chair and came over to where I was canning pickled beets and pulling jars of cherry preserves out of my stoneware cooker to sit on the counter to cool. He started trying to sweeten me up and a nearly dropped a jar. “Stop it … and behave,” I told him, smiling despite myself.

“Nope. I like it too much. And as for that pack of wild things you call friends, they’re just being boys.”

“Boys?!” I squawked. “Most of them are older than I am. I swear, sometimes I wonder if you aren’t the only one of them that has any sense at all. Even Sand has been acting reckless lately.”

He kissed my neck and made me squeal and then ran backwards a few feet when I threatened to whap him with the flyswatter I always kept handy. He may have moved back fast but he was still smiling. Then he sat back down at the table where he had a stack of papers he was staring at and sighed, “Yeah, I’ve noticed it too. Must be Spring in the air or something. That’s why, even though I tell them it’s so I don’t take too many out of any one family at a time when I’m working up the rosters for the security details, I’m really trying to separate some of them. I’m surprised they have the energy to fool around with all the work there is to do these days.”

When I mentioned it to Mr. Dink he explained, “More likely they’re just happy to be alive. Last year this time was a lot worse. Depressing. Hard. Now they can see the fruits of their labor have paid off. They’ve got hope. That’s all it is … youthful energy and hope.”

Yeah well, according to my grandmothers youthful energy and reckless hope lead to shenanigans that can put you in an early grave if you aren’t careful. And that’s what nearly happened to Jimmy Ray’s cousin one night. We hadn’t seen a raider in a long time. A lone stranger might slip through here and there. Someone would report a shirt missing off the clothesline, or the day’s eggs gone before the farmer’s wife could get to them, but it had been a while since anything major had occurred.

I heard about it second hand from Thor and it gave me a sick feeling in my stomach. The boy lost his pinkie and ring finger on his left hand, they were so broken there was no way to say them. A raiding party had been using the AT to make their way out of the North heading for who knows what who knows where. They had heard that the military and civilian security forces were retaking the roads and hoped to continue their ways while avoiding confrontations by using the US trail system. They picked it up outside of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania and I guess for a while there were enough small towns for them to steal from that they did fairly well. But the further south they went the leaner the pickings became and the fewer their numbers wound up being because it seems people had hardened and were more likely to shoot a dicey looking stranger rather than just stand there and give themselves a chance to be robbed.

Sickness had hit the group and halved their number right before they got to Damascus so they did the first smart thing they had done in a while. They went to ground and watched and waited instead of immediately attacking whatever moved. They were in the process of planning an attack on an outlying homestead when the security team and the raiders surprised each other on a path where the only light was from the moon dappling the ground from between the thick forest canopy above.

It was a fight to the death, thankful none of our people’s though there were some serious injuries and trust me when I say Thor used it as a teaching opportunity for everyone else. When someone is drawing a gun on you is not the time to give them an optimistic benefit of the doubt. And yakking and having a good time is not what security patrols are supposed to be about. Keeping people from being dead is what security patrols are about and that’s serious business and if you can’t handle that then stay home so we don’t have to bury you instead.

Jimmy Ray, whose lady friend had been on that patrol, was particularly incensed at his cousin’s casual disregard for the rules and threatened to pound him into the ground if he consented to living. His uncle told him to knock it off or likely his cousin might just decide he preferred death over what was likely to be waiting on him when he woke up good.

“I don’t want him dead, I just want him hurtin’,” Jimmy Ray fussed.

Thor told him with a slap on his shoulder in understanding, “He’s already hurting and my guess his pride is going to keep him that way for a while. Gloria is going to be fine so why don’t you give yourself some breathing room and go sit with her for a bit.”

Gloria would be fine, but she limped for nearly a month. She tried to use it as an excuse to give Jimmy Ray a chance to change his mind about wanting to marry her. Jimmy Ray for his part told her if she didn’t want to walk down the aisle he’d just tote her to the minister’s house instead but come heck or high water they were getting hitched before he went plumb crazy. Good thing Gloria was the tolerant type. Of course she was a woman that could give as good as she got and seemed to think that Jimmy Ray was just her type of all the crazy things.

That put June into July and I didn’t know whether I was coming or going. Every day something came out of the garden or out of the fruit trees. Apricots, the last of the cherries which I dried rather than canned, more figs than I could tend to before they got too ripe so a bunch of them went to market with Thor. More mulberries and then the blackberries and raspberries had me out in the hedge rows every morning before it got too hot and buggy. I was also drowning in peaches, nectarines, and plums. I needed help but there wasn’t really anyone to call except Mr. Dink and Miz Louise and they were “traipsing about” while the weather was warm enough to enjoy it. Sarah, who my mother had always depended on, had her own work cut out for her with the baby and her own garden.

There were a few days I nearly cried in fatigue and would have if I hadn’t been afraid of Thor seeing me. I didn’t get many visitors in July either because Thor was running extra patrols after hearing from the military that a lot of the less affected areas of the northeast were starting to farm out their less desirables to the “badlands” to get rid of them. That meant more work for us at a minimum and trouble more than likely.

July turned into August but that only meant the changing of the kind of work, certainly not the lessening of it. In the garden I was dealing with celery, sweet potatoes, tomatoes, and peppers. Add winter and summer squashes, potatoes, cucumbers, melons, corn, and beans as well as pears and clearing the tail end of the trees that had nearly finished fruiting so absolutely nothing went to waste and it was no wonder I was snappish on occasion when Thor came in a little too loud and happy.

After one particularly nasty outburst I slapped my hand over my mouth and ran out of the house. I wanted to be any place but where I had just made a fool of myself. Thor caught me easy enough because although I didn’t pooch out much my waist had disappeared and as had been predicted my lungs couldn’t always draw a deep breath because junior was standing up in them.

“Hey …. Hey,” he said as he caught me and gently swung me around and into his arms.

“I’m so sorry. You didn’t sign up for this. You sure don’t deserve me screeching at you like an old hag,” I snuffled into his shirt.

“Let’s go back inside. The mosquitoes are getting a referendum together whether to carry us both off at the same time or just one at a time.”

Once we were back inside I apologized again, “I am sorry. I don’t know what comes over me sometimes.”

“You’re feeling cooped up.”

I glanced up in surprise. “Well … no, not really. I like staying on the farm. I mean I miss riding with you and being with you all the time but … you always come home, every day, even when it would just be easier to sack out in someone’s spare room for the night.”

“Oh … uh … I was wondering if you’d noticed.”

“Yeah,” I sighed. “And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before that I’ve appreciated it.”

“Stop apologizing woman. I didn’t realize how tired you’ve gotten until just now. You’ve been hiding things from me. But I should have known. It’s not like I don’t know those jars don’t just automatically refill themselves by magic. If I’m tired after a day of helping you you’ve got to be doubly tired on the days you do it by yourself.”

“I’m fine,” I shook my head and then had to laugh. “Listen to us. We must be nuts. There’s not a jot or tittle that either one of us can do about how much work living is. If we want to eat this winter then we work this summer. That’s all there is to it. I’ve just never had to do this on my own before. Mom and Dad were always here to tell me what to do. There was always a book or the Internet to look things up if I didn’t know about something. Now I have to remember things I didn’t even realize I’d forgotten. I’m so scared I’m going to make a mistake I just …”

I shuddered to a stop and as I leaned back in Thor’s embrace. “And the baby’s coming.” At Thor’s alarmed look I laughed, “Not right this second. Geez. I just mean … I’m … I want to do it right. I’ve only got one month left to prepare for Junior and it feels like I’ve barely got anything done. Even sewing all day on Sundays I don’t have much for him. I haven’t even finished moving my stuff out of my old room and setting up his nursery.”

“Her nursery and that is something we are supposed to do together.” He sighed. “Rochelle …”

“Don’t,” I told him quietly. “Some of this is just hormones. I know it. You know it. There’s not a thing you can do about it. And you can’t change the amount of work I’ve got either. It just is. I’m OK with that. But … but maybe … if you wouldn’t mind …”

“Anything,” he said.

I shook my head and told him, “You know better than to volunteer something like that.”

“For you I would do anything.”

We kissed and cuddled for a while, “Just listen to me if I need to talk. Sometimes I just need to even when I don’t want to. Jonathon was good at reading me when I got like that. It’s not fair I should expect the same thing with you and I’m sorry but if you could … just …”

“Hon, I’m not mad. That boy was your friend your whole life but you picked me. I want to believe you would have picked me even if he hadn’t died. And since he was such a good friend to you and nothing else I’m not going to go idiot jealous over his memory. But you’re going to have to clue me in … and I’m going to have to look closer.”

“Don’t, you’re making me feel even worse,” I said after blowing my nose. “I know you’re tired too. I see it in you and in the horses … the miles you’ve covered, the things you’ve seen. Maybe I do miss that freedom a little but right now my world is the farm. I know it’s small for it to be my whole world but that is about all I can handle right now. Someone has to go further out, keep us connected. Everything is just … I don’t know … some days I feel like I can hardly breathe for all that is going on. For both of us.” I blew my nose again and stiffened my spine and stood up. “Now how does venison stew over ramen noodles and peach pie for dessert sound?”

“Like a slice of Heaven,” Thor said getting up to wash up.

Fatigue really was a problem for both of us. I can’t imagine what it would have been like if I had been a regular type of female and unprepared for the kind of heavy labor I was doing. I’d heard by the grapevine that some extended families moved in together just so the women could share the workload, or they would at least move closer together so they could meet in the middle and help each other out. I was hoping next year that I’d have figured something else out as there was no way I was just going to have kids to lighten the workload around the farm.

As the days continued to roll by I still had my moments but talking the feelings out did help. Thor and I continued to learn about each other and our pasts and it brought more understanding. The one thing I couldn’t tell him because I knew he already worried at it, was how scared I was starting to get about the baby. Everything felt “normal” although with me that wasn’t a definition that I used regularly. But we wouldn’t know for sure until our little him or her was born. I didn’t know if I’d be able to do it for one and the thought of what they might do to Thor kept me praying for his sake as much as mine and the baby’s. I personally didn’t know what I’d do if the baby was born with the same kind of problems I’d been born with. How could I not feel responsible for that?

And I was scared to death to tell anyone I was pregnant. I was hiding it, hiding from it or at least other people’s reaction to it, and Thor and I both knew it. He humored me though he admitted he’d nearly slipped a few times. I was scared what would people say? How would they treat our baby? Would they consider it a mutant just like I’d grown up being made to feel? What if our baby was different? Would Thor and I face the same type of things my parents faced? And I just didn’t trust word not to get out either. I didn’t know if all of the greenies were gone or if there were remnants of them someplace. Rarely was it mentioned, in fact hadn’t been mentioned for months that I knew of, about my connections to the greenies. But there were new settlers in town and I wasn’t sure I wanted that part of my past shared, certainly didn’t want to dump that kind of thing on my baby.

Little did I know that my worries were far from groundless and that there things in my near future that I could certainly have gone a lifetime without living and been perfectly content without experiencing.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 92

September can be a beautiful month in the mountains. The days are usually still warm but the worst of the summer heat is gone. Towards the end of the month the nights can have a bite to it but it isn’t time to pull out the long johns yet. The month is the last bright flash before Autumn. Much of the garden gives up the last of its bounty but the orchard and forest are still going strong. Along the edge of the forest are the nut trees – almonds in protected niches, chestnuts rare but still there if you know where to look, pecans planted in old woodlots, and then deeper in the forest you can find walnuts and hickory nuts.

Thor and I gathered all by the bushel basket full. I would rake them into piles and Thor would scoop them up. I could now look at myself in the mirror and say without a doubt that I was having a baby. If I left my shirt untucked or was wearing overalls which had become my habit you still wouldn’t notice it at first glance; but it would take a second glance to see it wasn’t just fat hanging around my middle these days. Sometimes my stomach moved so much that it was like having an alien about to burst out.

One day in mid-September Stro and Sand met us at the old orchard. I had finally agreed with Thor that it was time to let the cat out of the bag to a few folks … a very few. When we were deciding the who I told him it might as well be them since they’d be seeing me for the apple picking anyway. The problem was that it was easier said than done.

While Thor and I had said that we would tell about the baby when it came right down to it neither one of us knew how to bring it up in conversation. We’d start and then the conversation would turn to something else. It was a slippery as a fresh caught trout. The longer we worked picking the apples the harder it seemed to become. Eventually we just looked at each other and grinned, then shrugged and stopped worrying about it.

The day was beautiful with just a little chill on the breeze so while I took off my jacket I left my flannel shirt on over the top of my overalls and t-shirt. I’m sure Stro and Sand thought nothing of it as I had dressed in similar fashion pretty much any time I worked on the farm or during 4H meets. My clothes weren’t cheap to get – the prices in the Big and Tall shops were fairly outrageous and even when Mom or I made my clothes the yardage and patterns could be pretty flaming expensive – and I tried my best to keep what clothes I had in good repair, reserving only the most durable and easily cleaned for field work.

The harvest was decent considering the age of the trees and the fact that the only fertilizing they had gotten came from the little bit of manure I could spare from the other fields. Each tree produced about eight to ten bushels per mature standard tree. There was a couple of rows of semi dwarf that my parents had planted when I was in middle school and they were producing between five and eight bushels per tree. The fruit was starting to fall and I gathered up bushels of that just to throw to the pigs and chickens. I noticed that Stro and Sand did the same thing for their stock.

We’d lost a few trees over the winter but I had marked them the preceding year as the weakest. The did make blooms in the spring but I never had to thin them because the blooms seemed to take the last of their strength. A couple of them had been girdled by deer as well and I was surprised we hadn’t seen more sign that the deer had come back for the fruit. When I said something Sand said the deer were really being hunted over pretty good and now you had to go deep into the forest to get any or catch them just right coming out of the forest to hit the fields.

I nodded but also made a note to myself to come back for the apple wood so that it could be cut and stacked to be used in the smoker or for small furniture repairs. There was an old cabinet in the pantry that I was thinking of turn into a spice cabinet and apple wood knobs would make the drawers easier to pull out.

The only thing that marred the day for me was the flock of ravens that had decided to pester us. For some reason ravens just really bother me, probably because according to my grandmothers they were harbingers of death. In the cornfield or in the orchard they can cause a lot of damage, they are worse than crows in that respect because they are so smart. They can also be mean though Dad swore it was more their way of playing. Playing my foot; if you’ve ever been chased by ravens you won’t find a thing fun about it. A few will also mimic human speech patterns which is just freaky as all get out when you are in the forest. Lady and the cats had finally taught the ravens to minimize their visits to our fields but that had apparently not extended to the orchard area. Even the mules had gotten irritated enough with them on occasion to snap at them when they caught them trying to pick through their feed.

Ravens are bold as brass and simply saying “Shoo!” doesn’t phase them. I was picking a tree and something I did must have set a few of them off because I became a target. They rushed at me and got a few pecks in but when I screamed and swatted at them it was more in anger than fear. I saw the guys rushing over but I’d done the silly thing and lost my temper royally. I stomped over to our wagon, ripped off my flannel shirt, grabbed my compound bow and shot off my whole quiver before I calmed down.

Thor stepped forward and with a calming smile as he took the bow from me asked, “Feel better?”

I grumbled, “No. I missed as many as I hit. Junior kept kicking me in the ribs.”

Then Stro made a strangling noise then tried to say, “Uh … Rocky …”

I turned around and snapped, “Yes I am. What of it?”

Stro’s surprise gave way to a good natured grin. “Well that explains Granny’s looks every time someone started to wonder why you didn’t hang around with us much any more.”

Sand came over and after giving Thor a hearty handshake he gave me a hug. “Sarah, Tina, and a couple of the other women said it was because you’d finally turned into a real girl.”

I rolled my eyes and said, “I’ve always been a real girl.” Thor put his arm around me. He knew how the stereotype bothered me.

Stro made us both laugh though when he got a grievous look on his face and said, “I tried to tell them that but they threw a wet rag at me.” After a second he asked more seriously, “Why didn’t you say something before now?”

I shrugged, uncomfortably aware I might have hurt his feelings. Thor said, “People have big mouths and we still don’t know if all the greenies or their sympathizers have been weeded out. It was nothing personal. When we did decide it was time to say something you two were the first we thought of … though Mrs. Hefling, Mr. Dink, and Ms. Louis all know.”

Stro nodded his understanding as did Sand. It was Stro however that added, “And even if they aren’t green sympathizers there are some people that still suck on their feet out of habit. If it was me I wouldn’t want too many people knowing either but you should let some of us know in case … you know you need something. When’s the baby coming anyway?”

I said, “A couple of weeks or less.”

Thor had to pound on Sand’s back because he started choking on the spit that had gone down the wrong way and I told Stro to put his jaw back in its socket and close his mouth.

“Honest to Pete,” Sand finally gasped. “Rocky are you sure?!”

I rolled my eyes and said, “Yeah yeah.” I was embarrassed by their oversized reactions.

“I swear Sarah is going to flip a switch. And get jealous too more likely. She was huge by the time she was as far along as you say you are. I’m going to have a hard time convincing her you’re pregnant at all. The only reason I can tell for sure is because you admitted to it.”

I shrugged it off by saying, “I’m already huge thank you very much. I guess God figured it was kinder not to go making me much bigger.”

I went over and pulled the picnic boxes from under the sheet I had covered them with and started setting the lunch food out. I saw Sand and Thor talking earnestly but Stro came up to me and sat down on his haunches to help. “I’m not an invalid. I’m just pregnant.”

Stro said, “No kidding. Look, it’s OK. You’re a girl. It happens.”

For some reason that tickled my funny bone and I smiled despite my discomfort. Stro always did break things down into the real simple. “Seriously Rocky, just because no one can say you aren’t a real girl anymore it doesn’t have to change all of us still being friends.”

I smiled again but told him, “Some people are always bound to talk. I’m used to it and Thor could care less what most people thing; he’ll just growl at them if they get annoying. I just … the baby you know? It’s not his fault it got stuck with me for a mom.”

“Hey, if I was a kid you’d be a cool mom to have.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, you’d always have someone to play football with.”

He grinned back, “That’s the truth. But enough jokin’ around. You OK? I mean for real OK? All that GWB stuff OK inside you?”

I was surprised to find my friend was really worried for me, not just about me. I answered him as honestly as I could. “So far so good.”

“And … you know … the baby?”

“That’s the billion dollar question isn’t it?” I sighed. “We don’t know. No GWB had ever gotten pregnant as far as I know, or at least as far as any of us were told. They weren’t even sure if any of us could … you know … procreate so to speak. They usually talked like it wasn’t a good idea but I think that was more for … you know, societal reasons, than anything else. I just avoided thinking about it to be truthful. Never really thought my life would go this direction.”

“But do you … you like it? How your life is turning out?” he asked in a strange tone.

I gave him a look. “Are you and Tina having … um … problems?”

He sighed, “Sometimes. We really need a place of our own but at the same time we need to be where we’re at because Tina can’t take care of the twins and Lulu by herself all the time when I’m gone. Lulu is a pistol and the twins are twice as bad. This winter Gramps and I are gonna see if we can plan something out in that little clearing that is too rocky to grow anything in. Its more than that though. She feels … second best I guess you would say; that the only reason I married her was because Janie wasn’t around anymore and I needed someone else to save.”

“Did you?”

“Heck no. I may be book stupid but I’m not crazy. Tina was like … the first girl I was really serious about. Once I got a look at her I just never wanted to look at anyone else. That thing with her dad nearly killed me. I used to try and sneak over and ask her to wait until I could prove to him that I was able to take care of her like she deserved. But she told me … she told me not to bother because she knew her dad would never change and I knew she was right. You weren’t the only one that thought Romeo and Juliet was just about the dumbest story ever written so I tried to move on. Truth is I was with Janie more because of Tina than I’m with Tina because of Janie.”

“Have you told Tina that?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know how to say it without hurting her feelings.”

“Maybe it wouldn’t hurt her in a bad way. She’d see how bad that whole situation hurt you, you’d get it out in the open, and then y’all could work through the rest.”

“Maybe. Just don’t want to bad mouth her dad now that he’s dead and can’t defend himself.”

“Well you’re not dead … and neither is she. No one says you have to call him dung but you should be honest about your own pain otherwise she might think you didn’t feel anything at all.”

After a moment he shook himself and asked, “How did this wind up being about me? We were talking about you.”

I just grinned and handed him a plate while I called Thor and Sand to come get theirs. Thor was serious as he sat down next to me. I asked him, “What?”

His nose flared which was never a good sign. “I was all set to let the cat out of the bag but apparently that new group, the one that came in the other day and looks like they are trying to set down roots, started asking some pointed questions.”

In alarm I asked, “About me?”

Sand answered, “No. They were asking in a round about way for Mr. Griffey and a couple of other locals that we found out the hard way had Green Warrior sympathies.”

I wasn’t scared for myself since I’d already faced such groups a few times and survived but a fear I’d never felt before caused my hands to move protectively in front of my stomach. I hadn’t realized I’d even done it until I noticed the men noticing me do it. I forced myself calm and my hands down and said, “Look I’m not in denial so don’t think that but just because …”

Stro, ignoring my attempt to find an alternative explanation to Thor, “I’m in. Whatever you plan you can count on me. My whole family too I’m sure. No way are we gonna put up with that crap, and sure ain’t gonna let ‘em get anywhere near Rocky.”

I rolled my eyes and said, “Down boy.” I was summarily ignored by all three of them.

They continued to talk and plan as they ate. We finished and they were still talking … or should I call it man strategizing … so I stacked the plates and empty containers in the boxes, covered them back up and then pointedly got back to work. They could plan all they wanted to but I knew in the end they would still need my consent and cooperation. Eventually they would remember that too and then we would parley. I gathered my arrows and piled the carcasses of the ravens out of the way and went back to work. Out of the corner of my eye I watched a vixen and her kits carry the birds off.

I filled all of my bushel baskets and had started to carry them to empty into the wagon bed Thor jumped up. “Hey. You fill, I carry and empty. Remember?”

“You were busy and I need the baskets emptied.”

That was the end of their pow wow. Progress picked back up and all three wagons were soon filled. Sand and Stro took the backroads to hook up with their brothers who had spend the day hunting together. Thor and I headed home and parked the wagon in the storage shed before heading to do evening chores.

Lady was happy to have us home and followed me all over … garden, barn, coupe, and finally into the house where Thor met me with a surprise. A dinner of stew and dumplings was nearly done and he’d even made a little almond butter to spread on slices of fruit cake.

“Wow. What’s the occasion?” I asked truly flabbergasted.

“Can’t a guy just …”

I cut him off with a raised eyebrow, his innocence giving him away. “OK fine. I was just trying to head you off from being angry.”

“And why would I be angry?” I asked, better at the innocent act than he was.

He grinned. “you’re going to milk this aren’t you?”

“To the last drop,” I agreed.

He laughed before getting down on his knee. “Oh great and powerful warrior woman … please forgive us for leaving you out of the plans and …”

I couldn’t help it, it was my turn to laugh. “Get up you loon.”

He did and then hugged me, putting his large hand where we could both feel the baby squirming. “Active little thing isn’t she?”

“He. And yes, though it is different than it was. He doesn’t seem to have as much room to boogie around in.”

“She giving you a hard time?” We went back and forth like that all the time; it was a game we played. To be honest I wanted a little boy first but either flavor was fine, I just wanted a healthy one.

Dinner was a memory as were the dishes and the last few chores when Lady howled right before there was a pounding on the kitchen door.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 93

Lady’s call was for “friend” but Thor and I looked at each other and went into defensive mode before answering the door at the second set of bangs. Thor jerked the door open and I covered him. Lawson stood there with Stro nearly bending him double trying to hold his brother up.

Thor reached out and pulled both men in and once we had the door bolted they lifted Stro up onto the table and I went to work on him while Thor asked for a report. I could tell Stro wasn’t unconscious but he wasn’t completely with it either.

“Everything was going as planned. Stro and Sand met Johnson and I. Hunting was good,” Lawson wheezed. Hearing that I looked over and then threw Thor a smaller first aid kit and he started cleaning Lawson’s busted nose clogged with drying blood and his swollen mouth. “We each got two good sized bucks; two deeper in the forest that we field dressed and hung in the trees and two that we had at the pick up point. I told Johnson he could have those two and that Stro and I would take the wagon home and then go get the other two since it was closer to our place than theirs.”

Thor asked, “Was it a bear?”

“Been easier if it was. It was some men … I guess about a half dozen to maybe ten of them. I never got a good count.” Lawson looked over at me where I was still working on Stro. “I only recognized one of them. It was Cliff Dunkirk.”

That made me pause briefly and look up before pulling a pre-threaded suture kit from the big bag Mom had always used when a field hand had gotten hurt. Stro moaned and I said, “Be still Stro. Your eyebrow is split worse than that time you face planted on that rock on the Chatooga. I have to stitch it up.”

I got another groan then it was obvious he was trying to brace himself before saying, “Go ahead but make me pretty. I don’t want to scare Tina.”

Lawson seemed to deflate with relief. He tried to stiffen back up and finish telling Thor what had occurred but it was a losing battle as reaction set in.

“They jumped us. We were being real careful just in case there were any bears so it isn’t like we surprised them. They were hiding in the bushes waiting for us. I think … I think it was an ambush. They meant to Rocky. I can’t believe that Cliff …”

Thor looked at me and asked, “Whose Cliff?”

“One of us … or was one of us. You’ve met him once I think. Remember the first time you met Sarah? All the boys coming out of the woods? He was one of them. I haven’t seen much of him but didn’t think too much of it because I was always hearing about him from Johnson or Lawson or one of the other younger guys. The Dunkirk place is even further out than Jimmy Ray’s, closer to Abingdon.” I shook my head trying not to let my anger get the better of me while I was working on Stro. “His dad was a Deacon in our church.”

Lawson added, “He died at the school. Cliff’s mom … she eventually got together with Mr. Llewellyn. But as far as I know Cliff was cool with it. Mr. Lew is a good guy, totally about the family and all that. Mr. Lew’s wife died at the school too. The families had been friends like forever and … you know … Granny said it was all good. Why would Cliff …?”

Thor asked, “And you sure the guy you recognized was definitely this Cliff?”

“Yeah. Absolutely. He’s hard to miss. He’s got this birthmark that looks like a red patch covering his right eye.”

“That’s the guy? The one with the port wine stain on his face?”

I said, “Yeah, that’s him. He is … was … a lot of girls used to think he was a sweetheart.”

Lawson rolled his eyes before muttering, “Oh geez.”

I rolled my eyes at Lawson’s exaggerated words as I snipped the thread on the last stitch as Stro asked – and was refused – some help to sit up. So he laid there and said, “Yeah, it was pretty boy Cliff all right. The one with the gorgeous hair.”

“You guys are such dorks. It wasn’t just his hair that the girls liked.”

With a slightly conspiratorial grin Lawson said, “But you never did Rocky.”

I shrugged, “All of you guys were like brothers. I never thought of any of you all like that. And Cliff was a real puppy most of the time. That’s why Coach had him on third string; he wouldn’t play hard enough because he said he was always afraid of hurting someone.” I looked at Thor and explained, “Don’t let these guys fool you. Cliff could have been good, maybe better than all of us, but he didn’t have the heart for it the way he needed to. He had great hands but he wouldn’t fight hard enough when it really counted. Almost every time he could have won the game, he lost it for us instead.”

Thor and I switched; he helped Stro up off the table and into a chair by the stove and I went to work finishing up Lawson.

Thor nodded, “Finish the story and we’ll worry about why your friend Cliff pulled a Mr. Hyde later.”

Stro said, “It was getting kind of late. I knew by the time we got back home it would be full dark and had turned to say something … I forget what … to Lawson when it felt like a rock had been slammed into me.”

Lawson explained, “Someone had taken a shot but caught his pack. I looked inside and his mess kit is pretty well useless … the heavy duty one that your Dad gave us Rocky.”

I nodded remembering the mess kits Dad had picked up at a Surplus store on one of our adventures. “Are your bruised?” I asked Stro.

“Not too bad. I’ll be sore tomorrow but I’d rather be sore than dead. Mostly it just startled me. Lawson figured out what was happening and pushed me to the ground and then aimed at some bushes where the shot had come from. I don’t think they had much ammo or they lost their heads or something because they wound up rushing us rather than trying to shoot us again.”

“Did you stop shooting?” Thor asked them.

“Heck no,” Stro said outraged. “Lawson got one and I got one before we both got piled on by the rest of them. They were big guys and knew what they were doing. One of them had a club and caught me good and I was out of it but not so much that I didn’t hear when Lawson got his rifle back up and took out two more of them and then the rest run off. I just couldn’t seem to focus and answer when Lawson kept calling me. Nothing wanted to work. I was totally cracked and scrambled.”

Thor wanted to know, “Lawson did any of the others besides Cliff look familiar?”

“No, but it was getting dark up under the trees. But if I had to swear one way or the other I would say no, I’d never seen them before.”

Thor went downstairs with Lawson and put the call out to the others on the radio chain. And they named names in case Cliff or his cohorts tried anything again … or had tried anything in the past that hadn’t been reported.

I asked Stro, “Are you sure it was Cliff?”

“You mean because him and Lawson didn’t always get along?” At my nod Stro said, “It was Cliff. You can’t miss that birthmark. And even if someone tried to frame him by painting their face that way they couldn’t do it all. The hair, the build, the voice … it was definitely him. Jimmy Ray is going to be upset when he finds out, Cliff was courting his cousin and they were talking about a spring wedding.”

“Oh good gravy, that’s all we need.”

Thor and Lawson came back up and asked, “What’s all we need?”

“A feud.” I washed my hands and then got a pot of water boiling to clean the first aid gear and another of cider to make a hot punch. “Apparently Cliff and Jimmy Ray’s cousin were seeing each other. If it does turn out that Cliff has gone to the dark side Jimmy Ray is going to pound him hard and I don’t even want to know what his uncle is going to do.”

I could see Thor trying real hard not to say the wrong thing so I took pity on him. “Mountain feuds don’t have to make sense to occur but this one will to most folks and that will only make it worse. If we can keep people from picking sides based on old loyalties it might just die a natural death but only if Cliff is proven guilty beyond a shadow of a doubt and receives some kind of punishment. If it turns into a killing feud before real justice gets done it could undo everything the town has been working towards.”

Thor had a few choice words for knuckleheads that I won’t repeat. They were colorful, colloquial, multi-lingual, and more true than not. When he was finished Lawson said, “Dang Dude, that was impressive. I thought Dad could lay it all out but I think you might just have him beat.”

I rolled my eyes once again and tried to remember that Lawson was my age and not still in middle school. Stro wasn’t grinning though and I asked him, “Blurry vision, trouble hearing … anything?”

“My head hurts but that’s about it besides getting angry. You know if it was just the venison they could have had it. I’m not going to begrudge helping someone who is starving though it would have been more polite to have asked. It is the rest of it that is making me mad. Who would take care of my littles if something happened to me? What would happen to Tina? She’s already been through enough, we all have. Dad needs both Lawson and I … so do Granny and Gramps. Who would take our place? I just want to know why those guys did what they did … and then I want to pound them into the ground for it.”

I could see he was shaking a little though he was trying not to show it so I pulled a blanket off the shelf in the mud room where I keep a couple of extra in case we have to strip in there and draped it over Stro’s shoulders. “Take it easy. You’ve lost some blood and you’re a little shocky. I’m not convinced you don’t have a concussion either. Here, sip on this punch … you too Lawson. You need some warm and sweet in your system.”

“What did Dad say?” Stro wanted to know.

“They were just getting worried. Your Dad said he’ll be over at first light but that it isn’t safe to blunder around in the dark in case we have another group of highwaymen in the area.”

Lawson snickered, “Tina said you better mind Rocky or she’ll know why not.”

Stro started to calm down and said, “Yeah yeah. She was worried?”

“Like an old hen,” Lawson confirmed.

I looked daggers at Lawson who suddenly ducked his head and excused himself as needing to go to the necessary. I told Thor, “I’ll go fix the guest room up.”

I was half way up the stairs when I had to stop to catch my breath; Junior had just pole vaulted into my diaphragm. That’s when I heard Stro tell Thor, “Sorry to dump on you like this, specially now.”

“Not a problem.”

“Look, before Lawson or Rocky get back I better tell you something about Cliff. Rocky’s dad swore me to secrecy. See I accidentally overheard … well something I shouldn’t have overheard. When we were kids Cliff went to Rocky’s dad for help because he was too scared to go to his own dad. Cliff … uh … he ain’t exactly the choir boy everybody thinks he is. Lawson will back that part up but I don’t know if Rocky knows about it. Her dad kept her pretty … uh … insulated from some of the stuff us guys would get into. Anyway, Cliff … geez … he … you know … was experimenting with … girls … and … uh … not girls. He decided after a while that he only liked girls after all but one of the older guys that had drawn him into that whole lifestyle thing or whatever you call it was threatening to tell everyone about it if he didn’t do what he was told to do.”

“Blackmail.”

I could sense Stro nod, “Yeah, I guess that’s what you’d call it. Rocky’s dad convinced Cliff to confess to his dad and then the cops got brought into it … you know adult taking advantage of someone that was underage. The guy was like in his forties and Cliff was only like fifteen at the time. Everything was hushed up after that so I don’t know what came of it.”

Thor was quiet for a second before saying matter-of-factly, “It happens. I’m not saying it’s right but it happens. But what has that got to do with now?”

“Look, I’m not sure how to say this. Cliff … could be … off. All the girls really liked him but the few local girls that he got involved with … you hear things if you listen to the right people. There was a girl that Lawson really liked and Cliff stole her.” Thor must have made a face because Stro said, “I know it sounds stupid man but that’s really what happened. One day she and Lawson were fine and the next day it was like the girl didn’t look at anyone but Cliff. But then the girl got messed up and Cliff dropped her like a hot rock. How does a girl go from being fine and happy and normal to being a totally messed up skank in two months and the guy she is supposedly with has nothing to do with it? She told my Mom who was sometimes a counselor at the school that Cliff introduced her to people that got her hooked on drugs.”

“Still not making your point,” Thor rumbled though to me it didn’t sound like he was giving Stro a hard time so much as wanting him to make the connection so he could act on it.

“Cliff was like Teflon man … nothing stuck. Everyone – well the girls – thought he was all sweet and crap like that. But you ask some of the guys and they’ll tell you there was something just off about him. When Cliff dropped out of our Venture Crew Rocky’s dad didn’t ask any of us to try and get him to come back. That was unusual, not the way it normally was. I’m not saying Cliff was a bad guy for sure but I can tell you he hung out with some people that were bad … not locals but friends of his cousins that lived over in Abingdon. The other thing is he used to make fun about church and some people behind their backs, people that might not be able to defend themselves very well. He was careful who he did this with … Rocky would have nailed him if she’d heard some of the things he said … so even today I bet there are people who wouldn’t believe me. Just …”

“Just what?” Thor asked quietly.

I heard Stro sigh. “I can’t prove nothing man but when dealing with Cliff, be careful. Lawson may have been surprised that he recognized Cliff but the more I think about it the more I’m surprised that he hasn’t gotten involved in something like this before considering some of the people he used to hang with. And another thing … when Rocky wasn’t around … Cliff used to say things about her too. Nothing any of us could beat him up over … but questions and stuff that didn’t seem too bad when he said them but add them all up together and looking back they seemed kind of … uh … this sounds stupid … but they seemed kind of … sly.”

Sly was not a word I could ever remember Stro using before so it made an even bigger impression because of it. Thor didn’t say anything so I continued up the stairs doing some hard thinking. My parents … and apparently even Stro and the guys … had always seemed to be under the impression that just because I didn’t react to something I must not have heard it. That wasn’t true at all. Some of the stuff about Cliff was news to me, but some wasn’t.

I remember the day … and the reason … that Cliff dropped out of the Crew. We were on a camping trip with a couple of other Crews at Stone Mountain in Georgia. Some of the boys in the other Crews tried to be cute and act all freaked out by me which only made them look like idiots. I wouldn’t rise to their bait so they just kept escalating. I could see that my friends were starting to get antsy … not reacting was starting to ping their pride buttons. Geez, even then I knew all about testosterone poisoning being a problem in the male population. I went and told Dad and said flat out that if he couldn’t get the other crew leaders to call their boys (and a few of their girls) off that I’d wind up having to do something just so my friends didn’t do something stupid and get in trouble.

Dad was off talking to the other crew leaders but by then it was too late. The idiots went too far and touched me in ways and places that weren’t appropriate. I flung the one that had touched me into a knot of his friends that had been standing around laughing and when two of them rushed me … like I said they were idiots … I slugged one and had the other hung upside down by his ankles by the time the leaders got there. But I had noted who in our crew was laughing at my predicament and who wasn’t. Over the next week I confronted them one at a time in private; thanked the ones that needed thanking and put straight the rest of them. Cliff was one of those guys that needed straightening.

The problem was that I unintentionally caught Cliff in a private moment of his own so to speak. A certain type of magazine fell out of the math book he’d been using to hide everything with. A casual observer wouldn’t have noticed anything but a pretty boy studying hard in a clearing near the park. The whole situation had embarrassed us both. He said some pretty nasty things to me like I’d been following him around, spying, yada, yada; that I was infatuated with him and some really stupidly untrue things like that. He tried to hit me but missed when I let a laugh escape at the very idea and I defensively and without thought hit him back … and didn’t miss, sending him sprawling in a very undignified fashion. He ran off after that cursing and swearing in words I wasn’t sure I knew what their definitions were at the time.

I knew I was in hot water and out of my depth on top of it so went home and told Dad everything. Dad was pretty calm all things considered and then told me he would have a talk with Cliff’s father but that I was to keep the incident to myself, that Cliff had some personal issues that he was working through. I gathered from that that Cliff’s problems hadn’t started with me and they weren’t my fault and at that time and place that is all I wanted to know or cared about. The whole incident was disturbing enough … especially as there was no way I was going to tell Dad what had been on the cover of that particular bit of literature Cliff had been so enthralled with.

When Cliff didn’t come back to the Crew I asked Dad only once if it was my fault and he said, “No. But I want you to give that boy some space from here on out. His problems aren’t your fault and they aren’t your business either. His parents have him in counseling and it is a private family matter for them. If you want to do something then pray for him and them. We hate the sin, not the sinner. Cliff is being given the opportunity to heal from some … situations he found himself in. He’s got a package of trouble to work through. You don’t want me catching you gossiping about this, ya hear?” I smiled, remembering how Dad really cared about things despite having been handed his own package of trouble in the form of me.

Stro made his way up the stairs on his own two feet but he was slow enough that I wondered if he’d be coming down them that way in the morning. Thor and I were both exhausted by the time we got our guests bedded down for the night. It was really strange having guests overnight and I had a hard time settling.

“Come here,” Thor murmured in the dark.

“Not with people in the house Thor!” I gasped, shocked.

A wicked chuckle was my response before he said, “That’s not what I was thinking about.”

I tried to find him with my elbow in the dark but he was too used to my moves and instead gathered me up close to him and said, “Relax. You’re shoulders are as stiff as that scarecrow’s out in the garden.”

At his gentle message I did try and relax and succeeded somewhat but I wasn’t ready to let it go. “Stro is right … about Cliff I mean.”

“You heard?”

I sighed, “Yeah. Why everything thinks that I walked around with cotton in my ears I don’t know. All the things I know about people in this town … it would curl your beard.”

“You’ve said that before.”

“Look. I heard in some movie that ‘peoples is peoples’ and that’s true. Everybody is human. If I held that against folks I’d have no friends. Everyone makes mistakes and bad choices at some point. Some of the mistakes and bad choices are really dillies but my grandmothers and Mom always tried to teach me to use discernment rather than self-righteous judgment and because God had forgiven me I was required … not encouraged but required … to give the same thing to other people. Cliff … yeah, he made some dillies and I’m not sure he was ever really sorry for some of them … but they always seemed more self destructive than that he was out to hurt other people on purpose.”

“But?”

“But if that has changed … that he is now hurting other people rather than himself … then the way he gets handled has to change too.”

“Do you feel sorry for him?” Thor wanted to know.

“Cliff? Uhhhhh, I’m not sure. Do you feel sorry for someone that reaps the results of the choices they make? Part of me does I guess but part of me … I don’t know. I just don’t want this to turn into something it doesn’t need to be. It should be cut and dry … Cliff and those other guys tried to kill or at the very least do serious bodily harm to Lawson and Stro therefore they should be punished for it. I don’t want Cliff …” I wasn’t sure how to finish.

“You don’t want Cliff …?”

I turned over and tried to see him in the dark. “Be careful with Cliff. He’s an excuse maker. The few times he has gotten caught the situation always winds up being someone else’s fault. That older guy … and yes I did know about that sort of … that wasn’t Cliff’s fault but the fact that he kept … er … experimenting with that kind of stuff as he got older, that was his personal choice and responsibility. The girls being all over him? That wasn’t his fault but their choice. But how he treated them and the things and people he introduced them to? That was his choice and responsibility. When things went badly there was enough blame to be shared by all parties involved but Cliff didn’t seem to see it that way.”

“Or he didn’t want anyone to see it that way.”

“Huh?”

Thor explained, “See if this jives with what you know. Cliff was a victim when he was young enough not to know how to deal with it or escape from it. But at some point after that Cliff chose to victimize himself as well as to become a victimizer of others because it empowered him.” I nodded. “It is a bad cycle to get into Hon. I heard the same excuses in my family from my Mom even though she knew what my grandfather was doing was wrong. My grandfather wasn’t disciplining me he was … he was abusing me. My mom used to say that was the way he’d grown up so that was all he knew.”

“That is bull poop.”

I could feel a slow smile against my hair. “Yes, it is. But as a kid I didn’t know what to think. Cliff … the abuse may have been different but he does know the difference between right and wrong and if he is now involved in something that is making victims of other people … and he is willingly involved in it regardless of the justification … then Cliff has a very serious problem and unfortunately I’m the man that has to come up with the cure.”

“You don’t have to,” I told him.

“For my own self respect I do. When I agreed to take a lead role in the security of not just our home but this area I knew exactly what I was getting into. I’ve spent all of my adult life at this sort of thing. Turning my back at this point would be hypocritical.”

I don’t know why God creates some people the way they do but I’m glad He does.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 94

I was right, getting Stro downstairs the morning after his beat down was not easy. Legitimately he probably should have stayed in bed but that would have been like trying to convince me to stay in bed so I didn’t even mention it. We were all getting nerved up with adrenaline, so much so that for me I was nauseous for the first time in months. My back ached as well which had been happening more and more often for the past month. Between that and the nausea I wasn’t the least bit hungry despite the hard work of the day before.

My lack of appetite however didn’t change the fact that I had to get breakfast on for the guys but I made it easy on myself by making pancakes. I also fried some apples I asked Thor to bring in from the wagon on his way to do some of the morning chores and as well as a little smoked venison breakfast sausage leftover from a nuisance we’d cleared from the corn field. For morning “coffee” Thor had to forgo his normal pot of the real stuff but I made chicory and rye coffee as a replacement. He’d already cut back to one or two cups a day so it wasn’t too much of a trial but I hated he had to do it at all, we just didn’t want to show our hand as far as all of our provisions went.

Mr. Hefling must have not been able to wait until full light because it was still foggy when Thor found him at our gate just about ready to bust in and check on his boys. Tina was with him which was something I hadn’t expected though I don’t know why not. She’d already seen a lot being on her ER rotation for her nursing degree but still, I had trouble balancing who she was now with the girl I had known her to be when we were in school together.

After they’d gotten there and Tina and Stro had their reunion and Mr. Hefling had assured himself that his sons were still in one piece the guys sat around chewing on how they were going to address this latest threat to our community’s safety. I just kept filling plates until they were full and then I sent them into Dad’s study … no, Thor’s study … so that I could clean up without them under foot and in the way. Tina helped.

“Wow.”

I looked at her and asked, “Wow what?”

“I don’t know. This … this just isn’t how I ever saw you. I figured you’d be in the middle of all that.” All that was her way of referring to the heated discussion the men were having.

“I do what has to be done,” I told her.

She tilted her head and said, “Yes, you have. But you have to admit that cooking breakfast and cleaning the kitchen doesn’t exactly fit people’s perception of you.”

“Which just shows you people aren’t near as smart as they think they are.”

She made a face. “I didn’t mean to … geez … Stro said basically the same thing and I guess I wasn’t listening. Look, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

“You didn’t,” I said with a shrug. “I’m me. I’m different from everyone else. I got over that a long time ago; it’s everyone else that has the problem, not me.”

“Which I guess is why you didn’t tell anyone you’re pregnant.”

“One of the reasons and because of the other reasons I’d appreciate you not saying anything to anyone either.”

She gave me a penetrating look. “It’s still hard to tell you’re really pregnant. Are you sure that you are as far along as you think you are?”

I chuckled, “If you felt how much squirming Junior was doing you wouldn’t ask. He feels big …” I stopped at the look on her face. “… Or at least bigger than a figment of my imagination.”

She made a face. “I’m doing it again. Sorry. Stro keeps trying to tell me that no one knows you as well as they think they do.” I shrugged but her next words really threw me. “I was jealous of you you know.”

I had to cough because I’d swallowed my spit down the wrong pipe. “What?!”

“I was,” she shrugged. “Don’t get me wrong because I’m not now but I used to be … even before Janie came into the picture.”

“If you would have said something I could have set you straight. Stro is my friend and that is all he has ever been … or ever will be.”

She gave a sad chuckle. “Yeah. I get that now. But let’s be honest, I didn’t exactly have any right to be jealous after … well, after what happened. It was harder for me to get over being jealous of you than of Janie though.”

The phrase does-not-computer flitted through my head. “You’re crazy.”

“I’m serious. I could understand Strother’s attraction to Janie, he has this … complex. He was always pulling someone’s bacon out of the fire and he is a lot softer touch than people think he is. But you, I never understood it.”

Shaking my head I told her, “That’s because there was nothing to understand. We’re friends. And if you don’t mind I’d like to just drop that. It’s kind of creepy.”

She grinned good naturedly. “Actually I do understand it now … and I want to say thanks for being Strother’s friend. You never short changed him like other people, myself included. My dad used to use you as a reason why Strother wasn’t right in the head, how the two of you were so much alike and why it would never work out between us. Dad was right about the two of you being alike … just for all the wrong reasons. So … thanks. I’m glad Strother has good friends he can count on.”

I just stood there for a moment wiping out the skillet I’d used for the sausages. “OK … but no more weirdness. The idea of me and Stro being anything other than friends … it’s not good for my stomach right now.”

That did cause her to chuckle but then she asked, “Have you had a lot of trouble being nauseous?”

“Off and on, this morning it is on. Hand me that kitchen towel.” After she had done as I asked I finished the top of the stove with a polish while she asked me all sorts of the same questions that Granny C and Miz Louise had been asking.

“Do you know what to expect?” she asked.

“Technically? Yes. I’ve got the strategy all planned out. In reality? I doubt it since I’ve never run this particular play before so I’m trying to keep an open mind and stay flexible so I can change up if necessary.”

She laughed again, “You still talk in football.”

She asked for a general tour of the house – she’d never been inside – while I gave the guys a few more minutes of my patience. “You’ve got a nice set up,” she said wistfully.

“Stro said that he and Gramps were going to try and plan something out this winter.”

Embarrassed she said, “I don’t mean to complain. I’m really trying not to but … we’ve got zero privacy. I’m so embarrassed when we … you know … it’s … geez.”

More than a little embarrassed myself at the sudden direction the conversation was taking I said, “Uh … yeah. I can see where that might be a problem. The Hefling’s house isn’t exactly built for that many people.”

“Lawson is on the sofa because we needed a room for the kids. I feel so bad about Mr. Hefling too. He feels crowded and escapes from the house every time he is able.”

“That’s just his PTSD, he never has been able to stay inside for long. I assumed you knew all this but maybe no one ever mentioned it, it’s a sore subject with Mr. Hefling. Those issues are why he and Stro’s mom … well, she liked fancy and socializing and all of that stuff and Mr. Hefling just couldn’t do it much after he got back. It would get on his nerves and then he’d have one of his spells. She’d over react and do the Drama Momma thing which only made it worse. It was really hard on the boys.”

That broke the tension and she smiled, “Lawson was complaining the other day that you still call just about all of the guys from school ‘boys.’ I wish you could have seen the look on his face, he reminded me of the twins.”

I chuckled. “I guess I do still do that. I don’t mean anything bad by it but to me most of them are still boys. You get them together and it is like a big wiggling sack of puppies. They’re a mess.”

We both had to laugh at that because it was just plain true. Of course there were a few truly grown men I could say the same thing about.

“Is Thor like that?” Tina wanted to know.

“Like wha … Oh … no … not really, at least not in the same way. The pressures of his job and leadership kind of ironed that out of him. He can still whoop it up and have a good time but when you get to know him you’ll find that he is always ‘on’ even when it seems that he is acting just like all the other guys.”

“I already know what you mean. Mr. Hefling is like that too, so is Sand but not quite as much. Sometimes I worry that Strother is going to get like that too.”

I shrugged, “It’s not such a bad thing so long as you both learn to live with it and learn your limits. Even Thor knows that he needs down time and we set it aside, we’re just … I guess you could say we are just careful about when we take it.”

And speaking of the gentlemen in question they chose that moment to come out of the study. Tina took a good look at Stro and immediately went to his side. “You sure you won’t let me put that liniment on you now?”

Stro told her, “Maybe when we get home, which is where we are heading for a bit.”

I heard that “for a bit” and looked at Thor whose expression told me he’d explain after we got everyone else gone. We saw them to the gate and out it, closing it behind them, and then Thor said he needed to make some calls to give him a few minutes. Knowing that the “few” minutes could turn out to be longer I finished my morning chores that had been delayed and was leaning back against a tree trying to use counter pressure to ease the ache in my back when Thor found me.

“Hey, you OK? Back hurting again?”

“Yeah but it’s OK. So why didn’t you want to tell me with them around?”

A mild grin told me I’d been on the money. “Caught that, thought you would.”

“Still doesn’t tell me why,” I said following him to the storage barn where he started helping me to unload apples from the wagon. Some would go into the apple house – basically a shed for the long storage apples – but some of them would also be sorted for the cider press, the drying shed, and those that I wanted to can.

He took his time answering so I told him, “Just spit it out Thor. Don’t worry about making any of my friends sound … bad. They aren’t as good as you are at this and if you have suspicions I want to know what they are so I can help.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way Hon but I swear you are getting too good at reading me.” I just smiled and let him squirm a bit and then he finally got around to explaining but he started with a question. “So you think Lawson really saw this Cliff guy?”

“Stro confirmed it,” I reminded him. “Lawson my not like Cliff for his own reasons but I don’t think it was ever bad enough to set Cliff up on purpose. Lawson was also shocked by it being Cliff in with that bunch.”

Thor nodded. “That was my take as well, at least as far as Lawson went. It also makes me wonder who else I haven’t met despite being here about a year.”

I thought about it. “Yeah, I suppose it is weird that we haven’t seen more of Cliff. I just put it down to an issue of distance and the fact I haven’t exactly been out in public much lately. You think Cliff might have been avoiding you on purpose?”

“It’s a possibility, and one Strother agreed with when I brought it up and he had a chance to think about it. Hon …”

“If you are going hunting tonight you should go inside and rest.”

He just looked at me. “Woman, you are getting scary.”

“No, I just know you … and I know how serious you take your job. I also know that some things may best be dealt with … quietly. I just wish I was able to cover your back. I feel … I feel like I’m letting you down.” For some reason I was on the verge of tears.

“Hey … Rochelle …” I’d managed to shock him.

“I’m all right,” I said wiping my eyes. “It’s at times like these though that I … miss the others the most. Chuckri, Barkley, Alfonso, Montgomery, Richards … I would be a lot happier to have even one of them here right now. I’d give a whole lot to know how they are doing, if they’ve got it as good as we do.”

Thor sat his bushel basket of apples down and took me in his arms, “We do have it good Rochelle. And if you still regret …”

“I don’t regret anything, not really. I just would feel better if you had some back up. What about Sand?”

He shook his head. “Sand is a good man but he doesn’t have the depth of training for something like this. And well-meaning or not that Sarah has a mouth on her and I’d rather not have to come up with a story to satisfy her about why her husband has to be out all night. She could complain to the wrong people and we’d lose any advantage we had.”

“I won’t deny that. It’s one of the reasons I didn’t tell her I was pregnant to begin with. Sarah is the closest thing I’ll ever have to a sister I guess but her tongue is hinged in the middle and runs at both ends when she is upset about something. It gets away from her and she’s sorry afterwards but by then it’s too late.”

“So long as you understand I’ve got my reasons for keeping this under tight wraps. Last thing I want to start is one of them mountain feuds you are always worried about.” I nodded then turned so that he press the sore spots on my back. “No more lifting. You sit over there and I’ll move the rest of these myself.”

“Sitting is no better and you need to rest to,” I objected.

“I will rest … after I take care of this.” I sighed but conceded the point to him but I wasn’t exaggerating, it wasn’t any better sitting and I was soon up and moving around again. He caught sight of my pacing it misinterpreted it. “Hon, I’m not going to ask you not to be concerned but don’t worry it to death. You’re getting jumpy.”

“It’s not that, if anyone is prepared for this job it is you. It’s just adrenaline. There’s a fight coming and despite my head knowing I can’t my body seems to be gearing up for it anyway. It was the same way before a big game, only I knew then I’d have something that I could do about it. I can’t even go for a run right now to let off some steam.”

He moved the last bushel and then we walked into the house. “I’d be lying if I said I’m not relieved you understand that you can’t do this thing tonight.”

I elbowed him lightly. “I’m not a baby Thor, I’m just having one. I guess that’s a big enough job for me to handle right now. I’m not going to whine because I can’t go play with you. But you had better be careful. I know that you consider some of the people around here to be inexperienced hicks, and they are, but that doesn’t mean some of them aren’t dangerous and mean.”

He looked at me, “You know good and well that I know that so what’s with the lecture? Something in particular bothering you?”

“Yes it is. I don’t like our forces being split like this. I also don’t like you going into a situation without someone to cover your back. Mr. Hefling’s leg is bothering him. Sand … well we’ve already discussed that. And Stro is in too rough a shape. Johnson and Lawson … I hate to say it but I don’t think they have the stomach for what you might have to do. Jimmy Ray would be my next choice but you two don’t get on well enough which is something we need to fix. Jimmy Ray has what it takes to be as mean as necessary and would be good at this … he just likes to eat regularly and is a little spoiled.”

For some reason Thor started laughing. “What?” I asked irritated.

“You’re something else girl that’s what. We’re a perfect match. I love that you can do this.”

“This what?” I asked still irritated though slightly mollified at the “perfect match” comment.

“Compartmentalize enough that even though someone is a good friend you can be brutally honest about their faults and talents and not hesitate to do what is necessary. Had you been in my crew from the beginning I would have marked you for extra training so that you could eventually run your own crew.”

“Yeah, right, like I could see those men taking orders from a female. Even when you gave me any authority when we were still on the road they always looked at Evans or you to confirm anything I said or they gave me the she’s-just-the-boss’-bed-chick look, like I had slept my way into authority instead of earned it regardless of what the true facts were.” At Thor’s look I added, “I don’t begrudge them that. I suppose in their experience that was how females got to whatever level of authority they had but it used to irritate me that they didn’t give you more credit. Besides, I don’t mind being second in command; it’s not such a bad job to have, especially not when I trust the boss as much as I do. Now back on topic,” I told him still a little cranky because I was worried. “What about that guy from town, Martin Kildare? Or any of his people?”

Thor was giving it serious consideration but in the end he went back to his original plan. “This is just a recon and I don’t want any talk until I can confirm something. I don’t disbelieve Lawson but I don’t want to create a situation or make it harder to deal with if it isn’t necessary. I don’t plan on engaging the enemy at this point; I just want to know what we are up against.”

I wanted to argue, but on the other hand I knew that once Thor had his mind made up I’d be wasting my breath and his chance to nap. He also had considerably more experience than I did and if I really trusted him as I said I did then I needed to follow my mouth with action. I determined that if he was going to go out on his own that he’d go out with my full support and a full belly. While he rested I went over his clothes and gear and worked on the apples and a good meal. I still wished that I was going with him but since that wasn’t the case I did the best I could.

I must have done something to my back picking the apples; might have happened when I went off on those ravens. As the day wore on my back hurt worse but I didn’t let on to Thor. He commented on my lack of appetite again before he left but put it down to nerves.

Dark came before I was ready for it. Lady kept whining that I was taking too long to do the last of the day’s chores and come inside and bar the door. Finally I had everything secured and just stood there in the kitchen breathing through yet another muscle spasm. I thought to myself that this is getting to be ridiculous and that I might have to have Granny C have a look to see if I’d really done something to hurt myself. It was getting to where the pain was a drawing one rather than a sharp prick like they had started as that morning.

I was antsy but tired and didn’t know what to do with myself. The night had turned cool so I went upstairs and started a fire in the bedroom and when another pain hit me I almost couldn’t stand up. When I did I looked down at the wet hearth rug and then over at Lady and said, “It figures.”

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 95

I honestly didn’t know whether to laugh or cry or throw a hissy fit. I must have wasted a good five or ten minutes just standing there leaning on the mantel asking the Good Lord above what I could possibly have done to have such wretched luck in my life. Then I reversed course and realized that God had blessed the heck out of me and every once in a while you simply had to walk through the fire to get to the next blessing so you’d appreciate it as you should. Being alone when I went into labor wasn’t the end of the world I told myself, but it still smoked fresh cow patties.

I finally opened my eyes and told Lady, “Well, since it isn’t like I have much choice I might as well get to it.”

Where babies and having them are concerned there is just no getting around the gross factor. Both Miz Louise and Granny C had told me living in fantasy land was just plain foolish. There was going to be a mess of bodily fluids of one sort or another to take care of so it was necessary to be prepared for them. I already had a hearth rug to wash; minimizing the rest of the mess I knew was coming was my top priority. Last thing I wanted to have to do was have the baby and five minutes later have to do a load of wash just so I could rest comfortable.

Lucky for me the hearth rug had a thick backing that had kept the wooden floor beneath it from getting wet. I picked it up and took it to the hallway bathroom and hung it over the shower rod. It didn’t smell as bad as wet dog but it didn’t smell great either so I sprayed it with a little disinfectant to keep it from souring before I could get around to cleaning it properly. I changed into a short, loose, cotton gown as well as an old scraggy robe that I belted for a little modesty. I also grabbed the pads and other birthing supplies recommended by the older ladies and started setting up my old twin bed for the inevitable. Sure, it might have been more traditional to have the baby in the master bedroom but traditional isn’t always practical. If I ruined a mattress I figured it was better that it be a spare one. The twin also was easier to find extra sheets and padding for; and most importantly for me at that moment was that it was easier for me to get in and out of in my condition.

I started a fire in the Franklin stove and set a couple of pots of water to warm. I was fighting nausea worse than I had that morning so I added a bucket and lid and then sat in the rocking chair we had moved in there and which I had also covered with an old quilt and more padding.

I looked around at the room reasonably satisfied. All of the nursery stuff was fixed up thanks to Thor’s patience though we both nearly threw the crib out of the window before we found the old and faded direction for putting it together.

I remember Thor asking, “What in the world? This thing looks more like a cage than a crib.”

Looking at what had been my bed for the first two years of my life I explained, “A regular crib didn’t work with me. I was too big and too strong. I tore two regular cribs up before one of the doctors snuck a hospital crib to my parents.”

“You tore up two cribs?” Thor asked disbelievingly.

“Yep. I could kick the bars out with no problem before I took my first steps. According to Dad I did it because I didn’t like being left out of things and when I was awake I had to be kept an eye on or I got into all sorts of trouble.”

It took me a long time to learn to walk but once I did I drove my parents crazy. They took turns with Mom taking the brunt of it when Dad had to drive the tractor or other farm equipment that I was too little to hold onto while it moved. She kept me safe and always knew just what to say to distract me from the pain that was nearly my constant companion when I was little. A tear rolled down my face. Suddenly I wanted my mom so bad I couldn’t hold it in.

It was two labor pains before I could pull myself back together. There’s no use crying over what you can’t have but I swore I was going to give Thor a little what for if the baby came before he got home. I also decided there was absolutely no way I was going to sit around feeling scared and sorry for myself. Canning was out since I was too worried about lighting the oven up and having a batch going so instead I decided to prep some apples for the cider press.

The stairs were no fun but once I reached the kitchen I was happy to have the distraction after being swamped by another pain that felt like someone was trying to play my spine like an accordion. I attached the apple peeler to the table and grabbed two five-gallon buckets. The peel would fall into the first one. In the second bucket I made a wet solution to prevent the apples from browning from oxidation.

I actually made it through two bushels of apples before I admitted that I was slightly demented. It was no fun cleaning up the kitchen but it was a lot more fun than climbing the stairs wile it felt like Junior was banging on the door to be let out with a war hammer. That thought gave me the giggles. I looked at Lady who was following me everywhere as usual and said, “Appropriate don’t ya think?” The dog in turn gave me a look that told me she thought her human was losing it. I pretty much agreed with her. I sat on the top stair and laughed, cried, and groaned all at the same time.

It went that way all night. I did try twice to call on the radio but being able to transmit is only good when someone is on the other end able to receive. No one was monitoring at the Heflings or in town and I wasn’t just going to cry out for help to complete strangers.

The pain increased and then ebbed several times until about four in the morning when it was like it changed. Lord have mercy I thought my insides were going to turn inside out and then a true rhythm began to set in to my labor. I tried to keep hydrated but if I drank anything I wound up spewing it back up when I was in the middle of a contraction. Having a contraction and throwing up at the time was too much like torture so I tried a different strategy. I washed my face and slathered my lips with thinned down honey to keep them from splitting open from dryness. I had the shakes pretty bad and I cried a few times wanting Thor home immediately.

I was out of water and I knew that I needed more or I was going to get dehydrated. I crawled down the stairs; there was no way I was going to be able to walk down them. I was in the floor in the kitchen trying to not scream when Lady howled. I knew that call and added my voice to hers. “Thor!!”

No longer was the person at the door quiet. The lock turned and then practically flew off its hinges as it slammed into the wall.

“Rochelle!!” He rushed over and knelt beside me, “What’s wrong?! The baby? Is it the baby?!!”

I turned to him and if looks had physical weight he would have been crushed. I grabbed him by the collar and jerked myself up into his face and growled, “You … are … so … lucky. Had you missed this you have no idea how … upset … I would have been.” My voice sounded like ground up broken glass and the look on Thor’s face would have been priceless had I been in the mood to appreciate it.

“Uh …”

Then I heard another voice. “Lawson, Johnson run and get Miz Louise. Carry her if you have to but get her here now! Jimmy Ray can you do something with Lady? I don’t think Miz Louise is gonna appreciate a dog in the middle of the delivery. Thor … Yo, Thor!”

“Uh …”

“Man,” Stro chuckled. “Seriously Dude, you need to get her up off the floor and take her upstairs. And don’t look at me for help. Janie sprained my shoulder when she was in labor, I don’t even want to know what Rocky can do.”

I looked at him and he actually ducked and jumped back out of the door. That made Thor laugh and come back to himself. “That’s my Ro-chelle.”

I looked at him and told him, “Seriously? Do you have a death wish? Now is not the time to irritate me.”

“Nope, no death wish. Ro …” He gasped and held me as another pain took me over. I was gasping and panting like I’d been on the bottom of a major dog pile with no pads or helmet and barely registered that he picked me up and rushed up the stairs with me but as soon as he tried to put me down in our bed I redirected him to my old bedroom.

“How long have you been in labor?” he asked as he grabbed a cloth and started wiping my face.

“Yesterday, after you left. It just sort of happened.”

From out in the hall Stro asked, “She OK? Need anything?”

Another pain started to roll over me and I snarked, “Oh no, everything is just hunky dory … you doofus! I hope Tina beats you regular. Now go away and leave me some dignity.”

“Thor?” Stro asked like he hadn’t heard me.

“Eh …” Then after looking around he got up and grabbed one of the empty pots. “Here, get some water from the barrel in the kitchen. It has already been boiled and treated.”

I heard them whispering in the hallway. “I’m not dying you dopes,” I called out. “I know what is gonna happen. I’ve delivered enough farm animals that I’m not surprised here but … oh, oh, oh, oh …” I had to stop and breathe through another pain. “Just go away Stro and keep the boys out. If I’m gonna to lose my religion I’d rather not have anyone else hear it and hold it over my head for the next couple of generations.”

“Sure thing Rocky. And we’ll get the chores done. You just focus on doing what you gotta do.”

Suddenly the quiet left when Stro went downstairs started to feel poisonous. “Distract me.”

“Huh?” Thor asked like he was still trying to figure out what was going on.

“Dee … stract … me.”

“Don’t you need to concentrate or something?”

I looked him dead in the eyes and asked, “If you were trying to pass a large kidney stone with no pain killers would you want to be distracted?”

“Oh. Gotcha. What do you want to talk about ‘cause you really don’t want me to try and dance or sing to you or anything like that.”

I snorted a tired laugh since I knew for a fact that his tunes and buckets never met. “How about what happened last night?”

Thor signed, “Hon …”

“Not liking being told no right now,” I said in a dangerously sing song tone of voice.

Thor shook his head. “OK Pistol but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” So between pains Thor pieced his night together for me. He went back to where the men had ambushed Stro and his brother. “The trail was easy to find. They dragged their dead for almost a hundred yards before rolling them down a steep ledge. After that it was a little harder but not much. By the time it got dark and I was starting to lose the markers I saw several small fires in the distance. There’s a large camp … couple dozen of them. While I was looking them over that guy Cliff showed up. Confirmed his identity based on my memory and your description, that birthmark is hard to miss even with just firelight.”

He went on to tell me how that while the camp was well armed they didn’t have much training. “They’re just a bunch of hammers looking for nails … but no real brains as far as I could tell from my initial impression.”

“What are you not telling me? And how did you hook up with the boys?”

He snorted, “Those ‘boys’ were doing the same thing I was only from the other side. Strother and I spotted each other and then we hooked up. Sand went back to report and the rest of us came back this way.”

“You still aren’t telling me everything. How do pigs come into this?”

“Oh. You heard.”

Another pain, this one worse than the previous ones interrupted his explanation but he finally said, “Well, your boys were according to Sand ‘het up’ and looking for some pay back. After the camp went to sleep they basically took anything that wasn’t nailed down that they could get away with. The last thing were the pigs they found penned up some yards distant from the camp and …”

“What on earth are you doing boy?!”

That voice caught Thor in mid story. Apparently Granny C had been visiting Miz Louise early in the day since they planned on gathering some herbs and they were both standing there with hands on their hips giving Thor a look that could have melted granite.

“She asked to be distracted!”

“Out. Now. And don’t come back until you are clean. You smell like you’ve been rolling around in a bear den … and look like it too. Is this the way you want to look when your child gets their first look at you? Sakes alive, a man your age ought to have more sense.” Granny C always did know how to manage the male of the species and put them in their place.

The long and the short of it is I labored for several more hours. I heard them murmur a few times but mostly all I could do was deal with the pain I was in. A few times I got up and walked around but my knees kept giving out. The only thing keeping me from kissing the floor was Thor’s own strength.

I must have been getting a little delirious towards the end. I remember hearing Thor ask the ladies if they thought the baby was too big but didn’t hear their response. It was about that time that it felt like I was being split in half. I don’t care how tough you think you are, trying to shoot the proverbial watermelon through a straw will make anybody scream.

I remember being told to push and push and then not push and to hold off and then to push again. There was a huge pressure in my pelvis and then … goosh. Don’t remember a whole lot for a little bit but I knew that something wasn’t quite as it should be. Thor was just holding me and saying something over and over. “It’ll be ok. It’ll be ok.” Finally after longer than it should have been I heard the baby give a weak cry and Granny C brought the baby over and laid her on my chest.

I must have been pretty loopy because I said, “Hey, look, a pink elephant.”

Thor kissed my forehead and said, “Don’t you call our daughter that.”

I complained, “You always get what you want. She’s …” I looked at Granny C and Miz Louise would was apparently stitching me up though I was too numb down there at the time to realize it. “Is … is … she like me? I mean …”

Granny C broke into a smile, “You have yourself a heifer dear but I think she’ll be fine, she’s just tuckered from trying to arrive in this world. Eleven pounds and some if I don’t miss my guess, one of the bigger babies that I’ve delivered but certainly not the biggest. I delivered that Hansel girl’s baby before you were born and it was certainly bigger than yours … but she had gestational diabetes. Let me measure my marks over here and … Lord have mercy, no wonder she looks like a string bean. Twenty-four inches, my lands. And those feet … I doubt those newborn socks are going to fit her at all.”

I croaked, “Poor thing, I think she takes after me.” I did feel sorry for the baby because I could imagine all of the difficulties in front of her.

Thor on the other hand had a completely different take on it as witnessed by his words, “Thank goodness. I’m not sure what I would do if we had one of those small, peanut sized ones. I’d be afraid of breaking it.”

His tone of voice was so serious and so relieved it stopped my tears in their tracks and I had to chuckle but that was about the last I had left in me. The baby girl I held in my arms picked that moment to really squall and I had to learn real fast about how to nurse her or she seemed like she was going to bring the house down. Thor was mesmerized by the whole process but boy howdy, every time the baby sucked there was a hard tug on my uterus. If not for the endorphins that nursing leaks from the brain I would have been in pain. Eventually the baby was satisfied enough to turn loose and I all but collapsed in exhaustion. I remember someone taking the baby and telling me to rest but for the life of me I can’t remember who.

I slept for a while but woke up when boots thundered up the stairs. “Thor! There’s more of them and I spotted Cliff too!”

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 96

I was trying to remember why the name Cliff should bother me when I heard breaking glass and a loud crash that happened near simultaneously followed immediately by a baby’s wail. Now that woke me up and then some. In that same second I felt Thor picking me up and running with me down the stairs to the basement.

“Wait!”

“Can’t Hon.” Turning to Lawson and Johnson – better known as the ones who had tried to destroy the stairwell with their big booted feet – Thor said, “Grab the ladies. Ms. Hefling you’ve got the baby. We’ve got a raiding party and they shot out the window and I expect them to continue to behave in similar fashion.” Paying attention to me again as I struggled weakly in the quilt that was hampering my movement he added, “Now I want you to listen to me and I don’t want any discussion. Take care of the baby and yourself. Ms. Louise and Ms. Hefling are here too and I expect you to mind them. No matter what, I love you. Remember that.”

I nearly slapped him but he ran off before I could untangle myself enough to get him. He left me hanging on words that sounded like he wasn’t sure he’d be coming back. As I finally managed to sit up I nearly shrieked. My body reminded me in a sharp and painful way that I was some tore up in a place that God only built women with.

“Rocky Charbonneau! Girl get some sense in that head of yours. Louise had to sew you up and you’re foolishness is going to tear you open again!”

Miz Louise added in a calmer and less irritable voice, though one still distressed, “Rocky, you had a second degree tear. You are inviting more damage and worse – infection - if you don’t calm down.”

Gasping I told them both, “I am calm but I need to be able to …”

Granny C said, “You don’t got to be able to do nothing but be still girl. Right now. Or did you fergit you done had a baby?!”

Miz Louise put said baby in my arms and I was stuck between having the driving need to go to Thor and the driving need to nurse the squirming scrap of humanity that I had birthed only a few hours earlier. As in most households, the baby won.

Nursing was both pain and pleasure; it calmed me as no words could have but at the same time it proved to me that I was in no physical shape to fight. I also seemed to have developed the disturbing new habit of crying at everything and nothing. I could vaguely hear the “pops” of weapons fire as well as the occasional crash. I alternated between an almost hysterical need to know what was going on and a fierce drive to protect the baby at all costs … including what it was costing my pride and spirit to stay hidden like a helpless child. I was physically ill with the conflicts raging inside of my body and soul. Miz Louise made soothing sounds and told me it was just normal baby blues as our current stress level warred with my hormones.

Normal was something I had completely lost touch with even if I had ever had it and “baby blues” left me clueless. All I knew is I hurt in places – both physical and mental – that I was not used to hurting in and that figuring out what to do about it was just about beyond my ability at that point.

The door to the basement opened and closed quickly letting Mr. Dink into the room. Miz Louise immediately ran to him and I was still dealing with the strange and world upending picture of the two of them cuddling when Granny C yelped, “Stop yer honeymooning. Adolphus, what is happening out there?!”

Mr. Dink and Granny C had a bit of a spicy friendship; she was the only female I’d ever heard him really lip off to but Dad had told me they were some kind of cousins and it wasn’t really meanness between them but over familiarity … whatever that meant. “Oh, loosen yer girdle. It ain’t pretty but tisn’t near as bad as it twere.”

“And?” asked Granny C in impatience. “My boys are up there and …”

“Well, if you’d draw a breath between complaints and questions and you might get an answer sooner rather than later.” Granny C clamped her lips together in a comically exaggerated way but she still shot daggers with her eyes.

Miz Louise rolled her eyes and flapped her apron. “Behave. Both of you. You’ll upset Rocky and the baby.”

They both looked slightly embarrassed the way older folks can look when you’ve caught them acting like kids. “Well …” Mr. Dink started. “There’s a break in the fighting at the moment. Them raiders are trying to regroup and Thor’s stepped out to make sure they don’t. The boys are all fine, even that crazy one Jimmy Ray. He has the dog and most of the animals down in the tunnels and didn’t that surprise ‘em.”

That made me yelp, “Thor showed them the tunnels?!”

“Easy there. Tweren’t much choice, the bullets were flying. As it is ya lost two hens. I cleaned ‘em and have ‘em in a stew pot. Thought p’raps you wimmen could get a fire going down here and maybe stew us up some food. No sense in letting the meat go to waste and them boys are spending a lot of energy running around.”

“Is anyone hurt?” I asked before the other two “wimmen” could.

“Oh, we’ve all got our cuts and scrapes but nothing serious so far. And the enemy is some worse off. What they don’t know is that Sand has got a group coming and they’re going to catch the raiders betwixt and between. Hear tell on that radio box that a buncha the locals have done turned the air blue over the Dunkirk boy bringing this trouble in. His step daddy is heart broke but has told ever’one they must do what needs doing and he’s comforting the boy’s mother til then. I ‘magine she lost that boy a long time ago but is just now finding it out for sure.”

I was shaken and shaking. Mr. Dink tried to go back up the stairs but I stopped him with one last question. “What’s the damage so far?”

He looked uncomfortable which didn’t help me any but then he sighed and said, “It ain’t as bad as it could be Rocky girl … but some of yore garden was tore up out of meanness. They’ve knocked down a bunch o’ the corn but I think it is still salvageable if we don’t get rain. They tried to burn down the barn and silo but that Jimmy Ray was able to put it out before it did too much damage … but you got an open corner and one of the mules was injured, but not so bad it needs to be put down.”

“The house?” I asked remembering the crashes I’d heard.

“We’ll get ya some glass and you can hang pictures over the holes if we can’t find no plaster. Now stop yer worrying, like I said it could be worse. You just settle down, you don’t look so good. Ya ain’t got no roses in yer cheeks.” And with that he did leave.

Roses in my cheeks. Bah! I needed a gun in my hand. Or a pitchfork. Or an axe. Anything that would hurt them like they were hurting us. But all God seemed to have left me were my prayers. I leaned back and the tears continued to stream down my face no matter how many times I tried to scrub them away. I knew what Thor was doing. You don’t light a fire with a whole log, you whittle it down to kindling first. My problem lay in that I’d never been forced to sit back out of a fight. The entire way I viewed myself was taking a beating. People always wonder if they are strong enough to fight; rarely though have I ever heard anyone mention that sometimes you have to be just as strong to know now to handle that you can’t fight. It is a real ego beater.

While I lay there in a daze Mr. Dink brought the chickens down and also left a bundle that turned out to be stuff for the baby. Good thing too because baby had figured out how to poop though she was still too young for it to stink. I was not unfamiliar with how to take care of babies as I’d helped in the hospital as a volunteer. I stayed hidden from the others and since it was usually in a specialty ward of some type … babies born with an addiction to match the ones their mothers had at their birth, babies born with deformities that kept them out of the “normal” baby ward, sick babies, abandoned babies … not too many “normals” cared. Human beings can be cruel even when they don’t mean to be.

I took care of the baby, fed her when she wanted it, did what I could to help the older ladies make the chicken into something besides a boiled mess, and then waited … and waited. I wanted Thor. I wanted to hear his voice, see his face, make sure that he was OK. Hear him tell me things were OK and that I was worrying for nothing. I wanted to go upstairs and do my part in shooting the bad guys; this was my home too.

But there was no going up stairs; at that moment I could not have climbed them on my own and certainly no one would help me. Thor didn’t come and I thought it was unlike him to not at least stick his head in to put my worries to rest. He didn’t come to check on his baby daughter either which sounded like him even less as he’d seemed already strangely attached even before she’d popped her way into this world. It always made me laugh to see this great giant of a man talking to my stomach in goofy baby sounds. I began to wonder if I’d ever laugh again. And then worse, after what sounded like a major battle over our heads no one came to check on us at all and the quiet that followed sounded far from healthy.

The older ladies wouldn’t let me go check. They wouldn’t go check either claiming it to be their duty to obey Thor’s orders and to protect the baby and keep me from taking any rash actions. I fed the baby once more and then the night seemed to trickle down into the basement as it must have by that point upstairs. The older ladies were exhausted and slid into a deep but troubled slumber.

Something was calling me to act. I knew with a certainty that I was going to catch heck from Thor but at the same time I had to act. Something was screaming at me, from outside of me; not literally but it was not a still quiet voice calling me either. There was purpose in that voice that gave me strength I shouldn’t have had. Seeing the ladies asleep and noting that the solar powered lamps would soon be out of juice I slowly and carefully made my way over to the exercise equipment.

One of the things that Thor and I had done was to secret weapons throughout the house. Since we didn’t exactly have a limitless supply of weapons and ammo by the time we got to the basement our choices had narrowed. If I had been in most any other room I could have put my hands on a semi-automatic pistol or some type of rifle or shotgun; down here we had been forced to resort to Dad’s antique gun collection. In this case it was an old 1920’s Mossberg Brownie pepperbox. It took .22lr’s which was a plus as far as ammo went but the four barrels of the hand-sized gun made it look passing strange, like something out of one of those old Dick Tracy or James Bond movies.

Beggars can’t be choosers however and I was ecstatic that the ladies hadn’t located it and put it out of my reach as they had the rifle that Mr. Dink had left us for security. Granny C knew me too well and was practically sleeping with the blasted thing and I wasn’t going to go over there and wrestle her for it. In my condition she might well have won and I’d rather not have to live with being beaten by a woman who was close in age to my own grandmothers.

I took the pepperbox over to my baby and looked down. Seeing that sweet little face I almost changed my mind, like a temptation that was almost too much to bear. I kissed her and did my best to stand back up straight. It felt quite literally like my insides wanted to fall out, something Miz Louise was said was a result of things trying to go back to where they belonged. I took two steps and realized I’d need to take care of some pressing personal hygiene before I went anywhere. This left me mentally growling about the physical realities of being a female.

Eventually everything was as taken care of as I could manage for the moment and I was finally able to do what I’d started out to do. The ladies and the baby were all still slumbering. I eased up the stairs one at a time while parts of my anatomy called me every kind of fool in the book. By the time I got to the landing I was almost sick and had to stand there while I mentally forced myself to get beyond the pain.

Steeling myself I carefully opened the hidey hole in the door and peered out and saw … nothing. I should have seen something even if it was just shadows but I saw nothing which isn’t what I should have been seeing. My dad had positioned this door and the peep hole so that it would have a very wide view of the kitchen and the side door. The nothing I was seeing that I shouldn’t have been seeing was wrong.

I realized with a start that my brain was misfiring and getting stuck so I stopped, took a deep breath and looked at that nothing again. And then I realized that I wasn’t seeing nothing, I was seeing the back of a something. Which was still wrong but at least it was less wrong. Something was in front of the door, or at least in front of the peep hole.

Thankfully the door opened towards me. I carefully opened the door and saw the back of the something. It was a big something and then I realized the something was my moveable pantry cabinet. It didn’t exactly move easily which made me stop and think again. And then I remembered Thor complaining after I had it move it for the umpteenth time that the only thing it was truly good for was for hiding whatever was behind it.

So, Thor … or possibly Stro … had moved the cabinet in front of the door. And left it there. To block us in … block me in. I asked myself if they trusted me so little but that didn’t fit what I knew … that was just the hormones talking … I hoped. Besides Thor knew I would be able to get out through the tunnels and it was possible that the other guys knew as well since they now new about the tunnels … or maybe some of the tunnels or ... Boy was my brain fried. I nearly had another crying fit. What bit of good was I going to do in my condition? I was physically weak and unfit for combat. My tear ducts were stuck in the on position. And the one thing that I’d always counted on to help me stay above all of the trials and tribulations I faced … my brain … was taking an unexpected vacation to hormonal land.

Suddenly I heard a sound on the other side of the cabinet and then a groan. An emotionless voice asked, “He talked yet?”

“Nope. Looks like we’re going to have to take him outside for the promised gelding,” replied a man who sounded like he was enjoying the situation more than a sane man should.

“Do it.”

Something kicked in. I asked the Lord for strength and wisdom and then backtracked down the stairs and over to Granny C who I shook awake as gently as I could to keep her from making any noise.

“Girl! You scared me.”

“Granny, there’s no time. Something has gone wrong. Bad wrong. Someone has hidden the door down to the basement and I heard … look, I need you to look after the baby. I’ve got to go …”

“Oh no you don’t girl. You just had a baby!”

“Shh! Granny, I don’t need you to tell me how unfit I am. I need you to just do what I’ve asked you to do. And I need that rifle.”

Granny didn’t give me the rifle … Miz Louise did. She just looked at me and the look on her face reminded me of Mr. Dink when he was at his strangest and I realized they were even more suited to each other than I had realized. When Granny C started to complain Miz Louise put her hand on her arm and I don’t know what passed between them but I was able to leave with no more fussing. I wanted to stop by the bassinet where I had laid my child but I knew if I did I might not have the will to leave her and go do what needed doing.

I managed to get into the tunnel and then shut the door. It was dark and I fumbled for the flashlight that should have hung on a hook within easy reach … only it wasn’t there. Something brushed my leg and I nearly screamed then I realized it was the cats. I slowly bent over to touch them and they were sticky damp. As I stepped forward my foot brushed something and it turned out to be the flashlight. How it had wound up there on the floor I didn’t know.

Then turned the light on and I look at the cats and nearly screamed again. Their normally white paws were rust colored. Then I saw Lady. She lay on her side. She was breathing but injured and dazed. She hadn’t growled at me since I had first found her but she did at that moment and I realized she was wrapped up with some bandaging. The professional look of it told me it was done by Jimmy Ray. From the marks on the floor she must have dragged herself this far and then collapsed. I would cry later and fuss over her if she made it.

The cats followed me and seemed to guide me down the tunnel to the barn. I was becoming detached mentally. The closer I got the worse the smell. The animals were lined up in the alcoves, all of them scared and quiet, even the rooster who barely took the time to hiss at me as I passed by. Jimmy Ray had used whatever was at hand to pen them in. And then I saw him. He looked like he’d just rolled down the ramp.

“Jimmy Ray?” I asked bending down the best I could, almost afraid to turn him over. He’d been pounded pretty heavily and there was a bullet wound in his left arm and another wound of some type on his right calf. “Don’t you dare be dead,” I whispered.

A ghostly voice muttered, “Hurt too bad to be dead.”

I was relieved beyond words to express it. “What’s happened?”

“Group was bigger than they first looked,” he told me in a breathy voice. “Us, then the first group, then Sand’s group … thought we had them dead to rights. Then another group came in behind Sand’s group. Worst mash up you’d even want to see. They over ran the farm. Oh God Rocky, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault … wait … what are you sorry for?” I had to know but at the same time I didn’t want to.

“Thor … they … they got him. They caught Stro and then started torturing him, trying to get the rest of us to come out of hiding. O’ course Johnson and Lawson … they buckled. They tried to rescue Stro … right in the middle of Thor making his move. Everything was mucked up. They threatened to kill all three if Thor didn’t come out. He did … but he’d already been hit a couple of times. Thor came out shooting and Lawson got away in all the craziness. They still took Thor down. Then Lawson, Mr. Dink, and I hooked up. I’d already hurt my leg so I sent Lawson to go get us some help as the fight had moved on further away. As I was covering him I got hit in the arm. Lost some blood. Mr. Dink disappeared into the night, don’t know where he is. Those men … they’re wanting to … to know …” I could tell he didn’t want to tell me, to explain the worst of it.

In a dead voice I asked, “What do they want Jimmy Ray?”

“You. Seems like you … you got a price on yer head. Some folks want you real bad for some reason. Think you can identify them or something to the authorities.”

“There aren’t any authorities.”

“Yeah, yeah there are … Gloria has been telling me what she finds out. I’ve been passing it to Thor. Hasn’t he been telling you?”

“No. I can imagine why though and I won’t hold it against him.”

“But … Rocky … They got him Rocky. I saw it all and couldn’t … I tried but … I got a couple but my vision keeps … it gets dark … I’m the only one left but I have to … it’s … it’s my duty …” But Jimmy Ray wasn’t doing anything. He’d collapsed again. I arranged him carefully and told the cats to leave him alone. Then I eased up to the trap door in the floor of the barn. All was dark inside and I crawled out. Not an animal or insect was making noise. It was like they sensed the embodiment of Death itself was walking the Earth, searching for even their small life forces to snuff out.

I was heaving by the time I had gotten all the way out. I crawled my way over to the barn door. It was torn half off of its hinges and the bar was splintered on the ground beside it. A tree trunk lay on the ground in front of the barn and I realized it had been used like a battering ram.

I nearly puked from my own pain and from the fear and disgust that rose up in me at what I saw. They had Johnson all trussed up for gelding. The tools of that trade were all lined up and a man stood there taking his time and milking the terror that was so thick in the air you could smell it.

Then I saw Cliff. He stood off to the side and the look on his familiar face truly did sicken me. It was a toss up to what he was feeling more … terror or glee. He said, “C’mon, you can stop this man. Tell them what they want to know. That’s all you got to do. They’ll stop the hurting. Trust me, I know.” But no matter what the words were coming out of Cliff’s mouth he couldn’t hide his unnatural anticipation.

Then by the firelight I saw a man tied to the hitching rail. His arms were stretched out on either side of him so tightly his chest was stuck to the cross beam. He was unconscious, his shirt torn from his bloody back. One boot and sock off show a bloody foot. His legs were collapsed but unable to fully sink into any kind of comfortable position due to the height of the rail and the man’s great stature. They’d sheared his unruly long hair off in a haphazard fashion making him look like an inexpertly shorn ram.

I went cold, so cold it didn’t feel like I’d ever warm back up again. Then before I even realized I’d gone looking for it I found it, that place inside me that was made of hot fired steel. The one that God let grow there for a purpose I’d never fully understood … but I was beginning to. It took the world coming to a screeching halt but I was finally beginning to.

I really tried not to hate folks. It’s not like I was still the innocent I had been that night in San Francisco. I’d done my share of killing over the last year and more. I’d hurt people and meant to. Even been disappointed a few times when those I’d hurt hadn’t hurt long enough before they’d left this world. Passed judgment and taken revenge when that was God’s job. I’d managed up to this point, or at least I thought I had, to keep that under control, to temper it with the compassion that God calls for all of us to give others, even our enemies. But the only compassion I was able to find for Cliff was the desire to release him from this life that had twisted him so badly. Whatever came afterwards for him was not my problem, nor my business. For the other men standing around I felt nothing, not one blessed thing. It was like they were nothing but gossamer shadows that I intended to rend out of my way.

The rifle I held in my hands was something that Thor had called a prototype of a new type of Bushmaster ACR. He never would tell me exactly where he’d picked it up but it had been one that he’d had in his stuff outside of Clarksville. I’d shot it a few times. It was a mean, nasty, powerful semi-automatic weapon and it suited my mood to a tee.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 97

“Blast! These new fangled pens are completely useless!”

“Not again,” a female voice chuckled.

“Don’t you not again me young lady. Why on earth they have to make these things with razor point tips and so small a person can barely …”

“Mom, I’m married with kids of my own. Don’t you think you should give up calling me ‘young lady’? And besides, I already hear it from Anne every chance she gets. Ford had them shipped in special to prevent any of us having to put up with what they are running into on the coast with those techno pirates. You know why you have to do the financial papers with those special pens; it’s for fraud prevention. If you and Uncle Stro wouldn’t insist on holding them like they were going to bite …”

A voice, older but still strong, called from the kitchen, “Hah! Don’t draw me into this ‘Chelle. I hate those things even worse than your mother does. I don’t care if there is nano techno whosiwhatsits in that ink, anyone that even tries to take the farm by falsifying a deed will wind up down a deep hole just like all of the other idiots that have tried it over the years.”

“Uncle Stro! You can’t say things like that! What if someone heard?!”

“Well if they had any sense it would make them think twice.”

“Ack!”

“All right, all right, that’s enough. If the two of you brangling make my cake fall …”

“Me?! I’m not the one who started this!” But rather than be angry ‘Chelle at her mother and uncle she laughed and just reveled in being home for a visit. She missed this. Missed it terribly. All of the kids being under foot until they were sorted out and sent back to who they belonged to at the end of the day. The fresh air, the freedom, the good food … all of the noise and shenanigans everyone seemed to constantly be up to. But when Ford had been offered the job in Roanoke it was something they just couldn’t turn down, not when credits were getting so hard to come by, not even their metal investments seemed to keep up and they promised the kids they’d help them get into a decent school though Tyler seemed changing his mind and thinking about accepting his great uncle’s offer of an apprenticeship. Damascus was still Damascus, little more than a dot on the map and there just weren’t enough jobs to go around for those that needed them.

After her mother left the room ‘Chelle asked her uncle, “How is she doing?”

“She hasn’t said anything to you?”

“You honestly think she would? You know how Mom can be.”

Strother Hefling shook his head, “Of course I do. And you know how hard she’s taking it. It missed so many, and then to have this happen out of the blue …”

The old woman wasn’t near as deaf as they seemed to think she was, she just wasn’t in the mood to talk about it. Besides, she’d promised the grandkids that she would finally get around to writing the story out and they were bound and determined to hold her to it this time. She didn’t know whether to consider it a foolish waste of time or admit that the memories were just hard to dredge up, even after all these years.

She checked the cake and found it ready to come out and once she had put it in the pie keep to cool she quietly went down to the basement and then into the tunnels. The grandkids all goggled every time she told them of how she had helped her father to dig the early tunnels and how most of the concrete that smoothed those walls was left over from that time. They’d installed lights some years back after they had been able to increase the farm’s energy output with a bank of those super efficient solar generators that had been invented during the war. She set the switch to motion detection and slowly made her way from the basement to the barn so that she could avoid the dampness left over from yesterday’s rain. It had taken a while but her body had finally started to call in payment for her years of abuse and lately it seemed it had been adding on late fees as well.

As she walked, the pool of light following her every step, she thought it felt like she was going back in time. The memories weren’t all bad of course but the ones that she was about to get reacquainted with hurt and she’d rather take them out for a look see when no one was around to watch her do it.

Looking down she noted that’s where Lady had lain so hurt and frail. Jimmy Ray had lain there, at the base of the ramp … he’d been gone what seemed like a long time and yesterday at the same time. He never had remarried after Gloria had died from weaponized tuberculosis during the war. All he had cared about ever afterwards were his kids and his dogs; and some days it had been hard to tell them apart as wild as they all were. Going to Jimmy Ray’s place was like trying to wrangle a sack full of puppies, no matter which way you turned it was all paws and tails, snouts and teeth, and all of them in need of a bath.

A black and white cat met her at the top of the ramp, a descendent of ol’ Boots, the terror of every dog in the tri-county area. While not quite as ferocious as his ancestor, this one was a darn good mouser which was why she didn’t shoo him out of the barn and away from the area she kept the incubators in. She had more orders than she could fill now that they’d finally used some sense and relaxed the ordinances in the cities and allowed small livestock again and mice in the chick feed was the last thing she needed. The little business was bringing in some much needed credits, something rare after the sickness had made a hash out of things. Her family hadn’t done as well as some had after the war, being uninterested in building a salvaging business. To really make those pay you had to either live in the urban jungle or be willing to travel a lot and neither one was appealing as it would take them too far from the farm.

She finally got the door laid back down without dropping the flaming thing and Rocky sat down on a milking stool to rest and think. She still kept several cows. With better refrigeration she didn’t have to ration it the way she had in those early years. And unless the grandkids were over she even managed to have enough to make cheese with. Annie would bring her students out to the orchard during harvest time for a class picnic and the kids were always fascinated at how everything was done “the old fashioned way.” Every year it seemed she’d get at least one smart aleck that would want to know why they were so poor they couldn’t buy stuff at the store “like normal people did.” That’s all the opening Rocky needed and she’d take the kids back to what most everyone called the Twelvers War … a time when terror was more abundant than clean drinking water.

Those years had been lean and hard beyond what most people had the ability to describe; beyond what most of the folks of her generation even wanted to describe much less remember. Even as somewhat insulated as they had been here in the mountains they still felt the terrible toll that the war had taken on the whole country, on the world. The radio was a window open on what was going on that was sometimes difficult to look through. Things were better now … at least in some ways … but the shadows were still there, especially in the bigger cities where they seemed to lay in wait to suck the life force out of the people that had too soon forgotten the lessons of the past; or those that were trying to escape the past only to wind up repeating it.

The cat darted out a gap in the door drawing her attention. The big doors on the barn weren’t new but they weren’t the originals either. They’d been forced to make do and repair the ones that had been battered down that dark day for almost a full year before there was enough wherewithal to fashion new ones. Truth be told the barn was made up of parts from so many different time periods that it was a wonder it still stood at all. The roof was the newest, made out of panels that Stro had leftover from a big construction job on the newest incarnation of the Damascus consolidated school system. They’d finally enrolled enough kids to need to separate the younger ones from the older and Stro’s company had been tapped to do the work.

But none of the primary beams were less than a hundred years old and some of them were so old and dark that they could have passed for something from a petrified forest. She walked over to one beam in particular. There, right there. She ignored it when she could but sometimes it still drew her unwilling eye. You could barely see it these days but that dark streak was where the nearly red hot barrel of the Bushmaster had charcoaled a gouge in the wood.

Rocky bent down and remembered. That night had ended leaving her at a point so far from where she had started that she never did quite make her way all the way back. Oh, she’d acted like she had but in reality something had shattered and she’d never managed to find all the pieces and glue them back together. She had been beyond fear or terror. Beyond anger. Even beyond revenge although that had come back to her eventually.

Rocky closed her eyes and it was all too easy to picture how it had been, to step back in time.

----------------------------------

The air that night had been crisp with a nasty little bite to it. I heard the cruel jibes of the captors, smelled the odor of pain and terror, and the sharp metallic scent of blood.

Johnson stripped and strapped down and for all he’d already endured in torture his eyes rolled in their swollen sockets and I sensed he was feeling the panic only a young man could at what they had promised to do to him. Thor tied to the hitching rail; beaten, tortured, and shorn. No sound came from him. He made absolutely no movement. I lost what hope I had that he still drew breath. They’d cut him viciously and even in the dark I could see the ground beneath him was wet with coagulating blood.

Finally I saw Stro, thrown to the side like a broken toy. His arm bent in a place arms weren’t meant to bend. His back was shredded just like Thor’s. But he hadn’t gone quietly any more than Thor had. His big hands were torn and bloody from what must have truly been a battle. Two of the enemy lay near him their faces unrecognizable masks of gore, a testament to how hard our side had fought. There was no sign of Mr. Dink and I could only pray that my father’s old friend had somehow escaped with Lawson and gone for help.

The three men – my husband and the brothers of my heart – were bent and subjugated; their captors making comments unfit to wipe dog poop off your boots with. The man I had dubbed The Torturer picked up the emasculator from the brazier of red hot coals and started to make his move which was what I took as the signal to make a move of my own.

His head didn’t exactly disintegrate as two bullets from the bushmaster impacted his face but it wasn’t exactly in the same shape it had been the moment before either. His arms flew up and back and he released the tool he’d intended for Johnson. The force subsequently propelled the tool directly into Cliff’s eye. But Cliff wasn’t dead. He shrieked and stumbled around and knocked the brazier over and into one of the other captors that hadn’t quite figure out what was going on. I didn’t give him, or the other men, the chance.

I could have been more controlled but I wasn’t; my shots became a little wild. About all I can claim is that I managed to keep them high enough that none of them hit the bodies of my people. Cliff had finally managed to get the emasculator out of his eye socket but he was still stumbling around screaming when I stepped out of the barn. With his one remaining eye he spotted me and then shrieked like he’d seen a nightmare … and maybe he had.

My steel was starting to leak cold fire from where I kept it tucked and hidden, so much of it in fact it must have shown on my face. Cliff back pedaled and then turned and ran into the woods. The woods I knew as well as I knew my own hands.

“Rocky! Rocky girl!”

I looked and what I saw made me smile … but it was a terrible smile, the smile of a mountain banshee that had sighted the one she was to wail her unspeakable lament to. Mr. Dink though wasn’t as afraid as he should have been. He took the bushmaster gently from me and then placed in my hand Thor’s FN SCAR-IAR battle rifle. I stroked it the way I would have my lover if he’d still been with me. I turned and headed into the forest leaving Mr. Dink to tend to the survivors and greet the cavalry.

I could hear Cliff quietly blundering through the forest trying to escape the predator I had become, maybe had always been. He had once been a good woodsmen; not great, but certainly better than average. Dad had regularly used him as an example to follow and he’d shown a lot of promise; but his skills must have atrophied when he quit our crew. Or maybe my own skills had simply improved beyond what his had ever been. I had no trouble following him.

I should have needed a light in the forest but didn’t because God had provided one for me. The moon shown down turning everything silver and gray. The cold, dry night air aided me as every sound seemed to carry for miles. Every few feet I saw an inky blackness painted on a leaf, a tree trunk, in some lichen. Cliff was bleeding … but then again so was I. I felt the dampness that told me I’d left my own care too long. If Cliff was being drained of his life, so was I. As much as my heart hurt this was no suicide mission for me. I had a daughter that needed me and I intended to be there to raise her. I told myself it was time to end things and tend to the living as much as the dead.

I picked up my pace and tried to ignore the various discomforts in the various places that I was feeling them. Then it came to me. I knew where he was going. A place in some of the oldest of the old growth forest that had been used as a camp site for so many decades there were places in the ground where grass would never grow and smooth indentions in a few of the boulders where buttocks had sat so many times – even before this country was a country – that they were more like chairs than rocks.

Now in addition to sound the wind brought me the smell of campfires, too smoky for good sense or stealth. I slowed down and then turned off the path to a hidden place that Dad and I had used as a hunting stand. It gave me the perfect view of the camp in the hollow below.

I watched Cliff stumble up to a guard and nearly get shot for his troubles. His hysterical tone was so shrill it almost hurt the fillings in my teeth to hear it, even from that distance. I watched as several men came up to him and then one who bore himself with a real competence, a leader among men that they all obviously listened to. The men all parted before the man who was walked like a leader as he approached Cliff and I could see the calming affect he had on them all. I had found my first target.

I took a breath. Aimed. The leader turned and I saw his face; a man of power, of control, one who reminded me for a fleeting moment of Thor when the battle was on. And then I pulled the trigger and the face was obliterated and the sound in the wake of my shot told me Cliff was no longer the only hysterical one.

“Control Hon. That’s what you need the most. You have to turn loose of any idea you have of judging your target. It’s nothing but an unnecessary distraction. Once a person becomes your target the time of judgment is over with and what you are dealing them is fate.” Thor had tried to explain to me every time I asked how he could do what he did for pay and live with himself but it was this last explanation that had stuck with me the most. The time for judging these men was over with. I had already judged them and found them guilty. They had chosen their fate and I was here to deliver it.

My shots were Spartan; there was no need to waste ammo, no need to simply burn the clip off with one pull of the trigger. I didn’t shoot unless I had a good target. The thing was I had a lot of good targets; there were too many men in too small an area. It was quite literally like picking cherries out of a bowl. The men and women would run this way and that but I kept them pinned in. I also gave off enough random shots that it kept them running around in the middle as well. The clearing was only so big and up against a face of pure granite that there was just no place for them to escape to. Maybe that leader hadn’t been as smart as he appeared at first glance.

I sunk to a lower position and then lay prone. They’d finally gotten themselves together enough to start shooting back; however, the idiots shot their own more than they ever came close to shooting me. Through it all I kept my eye on Cliff as he ran to and fro and finally collapsed in a heap.

When the shooting stopped bodies were strewn everywhere below me. Only a very few were left alive to escape. I let them go knowing they wouldn’t escape for long. Someone had the dogs out; they bayed at the moon like hell hounds and I watched the fear kindle in the eyes of those that finally dug up enough courage to run.

Cliff stayed where he was, a pathetic mess. I had almost given up, thinking that maybe he had died from shock, when he lifted his ruined face and shouted as he started to crawl into the shadows, “I know it’s you! I’ll get you for this! I’ll give you to them that want you and then sell that brat of yours to the scientists! It’ll live in a cage for the rest of its unnatural life!! It …”

The battle rifle in my hand barked only once. Just a squeeze, that’s all it took. And Cliff was no more.

I was forced to use the trunk of a hickory nut tree to help me stand. With my part of the battle over with I was dizzy but whether from blood loss or the last of the adrenaline seeping away I couldn’t tell. I don’t really remember that fumbling march back to the farm, all I am sure of is that it took a lot longer to get back than it had to hunt Cliff down. After the gun cooled down I was able to sling it over my shoulders but that meant I was without a crutch.

I stumbled from tree to tree, from boulder to boulder. A brief wade through a cold stream woke me up enough that I realized I needed to adjust my course and then finally I was within sight of the homestead. There was a cacophony of sound rolling towards me but I was hearing it through ears suffering in the aftermath of heavy rifle fire.

I was spent but unreasonably I felt like roaring with laughter at the irony at realizing my milk had started to come in. My chest was straining at the buttons of the gown I had never changed out of. When I realized the yard was full of strange people there was no way I was going to go out amongst them. I wasn’t fit to be seen and I really had not interest in making even more of a spectacle of myself than I already had. And if any of them were my friends the stains on the gown and the rest of me would give them cardiac arrest.

Through the rows of corn, behind the wagon, and then as I tried to cut through the horses that seemed to be milling everywhere they shouldn’t be I heard the baying of a hound. It wasn’t loud. It was pretty pathetic actually. But the roar that followed the bay wasn’t. I told myself I couldn’t be hearing what I thought I was hearing.

--------------------------

“Ro-chelle … you having a staring contest with that post or what?” I was yanked back to the present with such ferocity I nearly fell over.

“Thor! What are you doing out of your bed?! You know what the doctor said.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he said and I could hear the wheeze beneath his words. “No one knew where you were at. Wound up having to get Brunhilda to find you.”

I put my hands on my hips, more ample than they used to be despite a still very active life, and told him, “That dog’s name is Daisy, not Brunhilda.”

“She doesn’t answer to Daisy,” he said with a wicked twinkle still bright despite the passing of the years.

Getting irritated at his refusal to go back in the house despite me trying to turn him that direction, “That’s because you’ve confused her. Whoever heard of a hound being called Brunhilda? Honestly you and your strange starts.” To the dog I said, “Yes, you found me you great big goof. Now if you could find the rabbits that keep getting into my cabbage you’d have something to be proud of.”

Thor wrapped his arms around me and I let him for all that the grandkids would probably start making their silly gagging noises and run off and tell their parents that Ra Ra and Grandpa were doing it again. But as he did so I noticed his arms were thinner, too thin no matter if he’d finally put some weight back on since they’d let me bring him home from the hospital in Abingdon. He saw me noticing and said, “I’m fine. Give me a little bit more time and your good cooking …”

I was in no mood for play. “I nearly lost you. Again.”

“Maybe. But since it didn’t turn out that way though, maybe not. Looks like God isn’t quite through with me yet.” We leaned into each other, thanking God yet again neither one of us had been forced to learn what it was going to be like to live without the other. We knew that time was coming, given our age perhaps sooner rather than later, but that time hadn’t come yet and I was praising and thanking Him for it. “Now you going to tell me what’s got you looking like you do?” Thor asked with a hint of concern in his voice.

I thought about lying but I still couldn’t pull it off with a straight face even after nearly four decades of marriage. “I got tired of the kids pestering the daylights out of me to write down the family history. I’d gotten so far … I just seemed to get stuck and couldn’t get passed …”

I shrugged and that was all. I didn’t even have to finish explaining. That night was one neither of us has ever been able to talk about often or with equanimity. It took both of us months to heal up from our ordeal. Thor still limps if his foot gets too cold for too long. While my constitution was sorely tested I suffered no permanent damage though it took much longer than it should have for me to fully recover from the birth of our first child. I got a cold that came and went that whole winter but was blessed that it never went into my lungs.

We named our baby Anna Joy though for the most part she went by Annie or Anne. She was tall, actually ending up an inch taller than me, but where as I grew up thick and muscular she was willowy taking after Thor’s side of the family. There was a little over two years between Anna Joy and her brother Erik. Erik grew to be a carbon copy of his father in nearly every way including his wanderlust as a young man. He did settle down, he just didn’t do it early like the rest of his siblings. After Erik came Evans then Ethan and then Everley all in quick succession. Those four boys were holy terrors and I loved every minute of it. Thor and Annie would sit and watch us and just shake their heads while I rough housed with the four boys. Stro and I took great delight in teaching them to play football.

After Everley we lost a couple and we thought there wouldn’t be any more but once God surprised us with Dovie it seemed to pave the way for Lydie, Corder, Brooks, and Malissa. We were for sure that Malissa was the last. I’d had so much trouble with that pregnancy towards the end that it didn’t surprise us when three years passed with not so much as a nibble.

Then I got a chest cold that turned into pneumonia. The war was over with but things were still very hard to come by, especially antibiotics and professional medical care. I was over six months along before we realized that one of the reasons it was taking me so long to get my health back was because I was going to have a baby. I fought and cried and really cut up a fuss but in the end I didn’t have any choice but to be admitted to the hospital.

It caused a stir and a bunch of the old stuff was brought up when my identity was leaked by a self serving orderly looking to make a buck. The results of the tests I went through also caused me palpitations. Someone … several someones … from the government showed up and tried to talk Thor and I into being some kind of spokespeople for the anti-environmental movement that was a popular fad at the time but there was no way I was having anything to do with it.

The stress of it all put me into labor early which strangely enough turned out to be a blessing, one that may have saved my life; one or both of the twins, and possibly me, would have died in the trying. I was pretty blasted for over a week, nearing meltdown stage. I’d had to endure the Roman cut and all had agreed that it was simply safer for me to have my tubes tied at the same time. I was at peace with the decision, it was everything else that was turning my brain inside out. I had thought all of the GWB stuff was behind me, behind the family. I had been wrong.

When they were born the little girl weighed almost thirteen pounds even though she was over a month premature. The little boy was half a pound smaller but half an inch longer. I suppose it doesn’t speak well of me but I just couldn’t get my head around things. The doctors wanted Thor to leave the twins and I in the hospital indefinitely but I begged him to get us out of there. Thor called on some old friends and we were whisked home and I didn’t leave the property for months, afraid that history was going to repeat itself.

Slowly the night terrors and dreams stopped and I could appreciate what Thor had chosen to name the babies when I wasn’t in any shape to do much more than gibber. The girl he named Rochelle though we call her ‘Chelle, and the boy he named Jonathon.

We weren’t the only ones left with lasting effects from that night. Stro was left with some heavy scaring including some in his left ear canal that caused some loss of hearing. When his business became successful he had something done about it letting us know that it had always bothered him more than he had ever let on. He and Tina remained married though several rough patches; it seemed to take them a few years before they were truly and completely easy in each other’s company. They had a houseful of big noisy boys, best friends of our older boys, and Tina finally laughed one day and told me that it used to be that she didn’t know how to cope with all of the noise and ruckus but that now she didn’t know what to do without it.

Lawson, who brought the cavalry … literally since it had been a military convoy he’d run into first … turned serious and enlisted. He lost half a foot in the war and was sent home where he went to work for Stro, eventually meeting a girl that he settled down with. We see them at church nearly every week.

Jimmy Ray seemed to be the least traumatized of the group. He just got up, went home to Gloria, and carried on with his life as if nothing had ever happened. They had four stair steps and then out of the blue, the war was brought home to all of us. Gloria was still acting as an intermediary between the military and our local militia. Somehow she was exposed to a biological weapon. Our entire area received mass inoculations and tight quarantining, stopping the TB in its tracks but for Gloria it was too late. Jimmy Ray nursed her to the horrible end. And when she passed she seemed to take a good chunk of the old Jimmy Ray with her. He saw his children raised, grew his business, and then one day his youngest heard all of the dogs howling. She ran out and found Jimmy Ray; he’d had some kind of stroke or aneurism, we never did find out which. Two of his kids continued the dog breeding and training business their father had built and those animals are some of the most prized on the market for search and rescue workers.

If Jimmy Ray was the least affected, Johnson was the most. He suffered from nightmares and night sweats for months afterwards. He tried to build a normal life but he could never quite pull it off. The girl he married gave him two children, a boy and a girl, but no matter how he tried he couldn’t ever quite find peace. Two years after Lawson enlisted Johnson left to do the same. He never came home. Sandford, at his brother’s memorial said, “Sometimes you fight the good fight and die quickly anyway. There’s no shame in it and such people are often called heroes. But I think it’s just as true to call those men heroes that die slowly, bits at a time, from battles long forgotten by everyone else. They get up every day and try. They never completely surrender even though it would be so much easier to do so. They fight the same war every day, sometimes winning, sometimes losing. Which one of us can say that we could be so strong even knowing that eventually the scars that no one can see may kill us one day anyway?”

Sand and Tina only had their one child. For whatever reason Tina never could get pregnant again but they raised Johnson’s two as if they were their own when their mother, too young to deal with a husband that was so damaged that he’d all but abandoned her, had left to start a new job in Richmond. She had promised to come back but never had and eventually stopped leaving forwarding addresses.

Mr. Hefling is still around. Watching Johnson fight his demons revealed something to him. I’m not sure what it was but he met a young woman and then married her. She had two children by her first husband who had died in the early days of the Green terrorist attacks then she and Mr. Hefling had a child together. I thought Stro and Thor were going to give themselves hernias at the look on Mr. Hefling’s face as he tried to explain that he was going to be a father again after he’d already become a grandfather.

Granny C passed away in her sleep right before Everley was born. It was a blessing. Her arthritis had crippled her up so badly that even breathing had become a misery by the end. I’ve never spoken of it but I saw a cup of tea by her bedside that Miz Louise had given her. The leaves I had seen steeping had been from an herb known for its strong narcotic affect. Or maybe it hadn’t been Miz Louise but Granny herself; her mind had still been sharp for all it was locked up in a body wracked with pain. She would have known what she was doing. I’ll let God sort that one out.

Miz Louise and Mr. Dink outlived Granny by nearly five years though we finally convinced them to move into the cabin near the house. They died within a week of each other and it was like the end of an age for those of us that had grown up knowing them.

All through the years Thor and I have had our ups and downs, but praise God mostly ups. His recent illness scared me badly. We still don’t know where he picked it up at but I suspect it was on the trip to Kentucky. I was still fat with Erik when out of the blue a young man rides up and shouts a halloooo at our gate. I don’t know which of us was more stunned, him seeing me pregnant or me realizing I was looking at David Chuckri.

“Dad! Dad!!”

Thor had just come from the barn and started running towards me when he saw I was in distress, “Is it the baby?”

“No … I mean I don’t think … Thor, I’m … I’m losing my mind. I could swear I just saw …”

At that time several riders thundered down the road, Sand leading the way in front of familiar faces I hadn’t thought to ever see again. That night was amazing. The whole crew was reunited except for Evans. The men were on a trading expedition and had taken the chance following up a lead they’d heard through the military grapevine, had gotten turned around and then run into Sand and the rest as they say is history.

We still see them occasionally though we write much more often; David even came to live with us for a season before returning home a little older and wiser than he had arrived. Ludvig is now the patriarch of the family. The Chuckri’s are one of the larger land holders where they are but it hasn’t been easy. During the Twelver War many people suspected them of being spies just because of their complexion. When the old crew started helping the military things eased up but the occasional flare up still happens. Just like us they’ve seen sadness and tragedy but Uncle Bedros taught them well and they haven’t let any of it break them.

So many things have happened over the years of our lives that I’ll probably be the rest of mine trying to record it. I keep searching for some great bit of wisdom that I can impart to the kids so that they won’t make the mistakes we have but really, none of it is original. All the good wisdom comes from the Good Book. But if I did have to come up with something I would say to live life regardless of the circumstances you find yourself in. Search for the light in the dark. And sometimes there are fights worth fighting.

And now I am putting down this pen for a while. Thor is going to be asking for his dinner before I know it and I still have that cake to frost. Think I’ll split it and add a layer of filling of apple butter to it; the boys have always been partial to my apple butter. Maybe after dinner I’ll see if any of the boys want to toss the football around before the bugs come out. After all I may be getting older but I’ve still got a few plays left in me. And after we get all the young uns to sleep tonight I think I’ll take some time and remind Thor of that too.


THE END

 

[wab54]

That story is just wonderful!!!! It is one of the best out there!!!! Kathy, You write a great story.


WAB