Story Over the Mountains and Through the Fire (Complete)

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 26

The miles seemed to barely crawl by giving me too much time to think. I felt guilty for not being more traumatized by what I had seen and not dreaming about it.

“Stop worrying it to death,” Evans said as he dismounted at our lunch and water break. He nodded his head towards some shade where we could the leftovers from breakfast we’d each packed.

“Huh?” I asked trying to pretend I didn’t know what he was talking about.

“Don’t give me that dumb-innocent look Kid. You’ve been thinking so hard you got steam coming out o’ your ears.” Then he gave a small rather embarrassed smile. “Look, I ain’t a religious man. Done things in this life … that there ain’t no way I could make up fer. But when the drinking got so bad I nearly lost what little I had left I … See, there was these people … in Turkey … I watched ‘em. They risked everything for the sake of seeking a different life for themselves and their families; they didn’t want to live with the hate no more, the fear, and all the crap that goes with it. They have to meet in secret. A lot of the time their own families disown them if they find out. They lose everything that a normal body might consider valuable or important. But they don’t stop.” He shook his head. “I thought they was crazy. Made me angry too. It made me look at my own life to see if I had anything in my life that important. After a while I was just sick of how much I’d folded and given in to the life that had happened to me. It had gotten so bad I was startin’ to mess up on the job and that can get you and your buddies dead in our line of work. But the booze weren’t nothing but an excuse that got me where I was.”

I wondered where he was going with this. It made me uncomfortable. Here I was trying to avoid more ties to get hurt with and Evans’ confession and friendship was making that harder and harder.

“When I was about your age and had been on the road by myself a bit I … I fell in idiot love. It weren’t real but I thought it was and maybe she did too. We were young and dumb and I was tired of being lonely and she were tired of being beat up by her ol’ man and brothers. One thing I ain’t never been interested in is hitting women and I guess she figured that out quick enough. Well, you can guess where that led to and we got married ‘cause that is what you did when you got a girl knocked up in those days in that area. It were hard but I’d been raised hard and then a guy down at the pawn shop took a liking to me and things started looking up … or I thought they were. After the baby come I … well I was in what I thought of as heaven. That little girl, she just …” He stopped and I started having the feeling that I wasn’t going to like the ending of this story.

“But Winnie … that’s the girl I’d married … she started missing being young and not having any responsibilities. Annie, our baby, well she was cranky like any baby and Winnie just didn’t know what to do for her. And then got tired of doing what she did know how to do. But I was working all the time and didn’t see it. Winnie put on a good face when I was around which I have to admit wasn’t as much as I could have been. Then Winnie started … well, finding some of the fun she thought she was missing. I found out and took it hard but stayed because I was afraid if I didn’t I’d lose Annie. I loved Annie, she was the breath in my body and my reason for getting’ up every day, but I learned to love wallowing in my own misery and hurt feelings more. At some point I got to be as bad as Winnie. The county people threatened to take Annie away and that scared me bad enough that I started cleaning up, but by then it was too late for my poor little girl. I was working late, trying to catch back up on the rent when my boss came in with his brother who was a deputy. There’d been an accident. Winnie hadn’t wanted me to work that night, had wanted to go to a party she’d been invited to and wanted me to watch Annie so she could. But the landlord said that if we didn’t get the rent caught up by the end of the week he was going to evict us and the county people said if we got evicted they were going to take Annie. Winnie couldn’t see it and told me she didn’t care anyway because she was tired of playing Mam, she wanted to be young and free again and said it were all my fault.”

I wanted to put my hand on Evans but too many people were around though none close enough to actually hear what he was telling me. If they had bothered looking at Evans’ eyes they’d seen a a nearly broken man and rushed over to see what was wrong … but nobody saw … no one but me.

“Winnie … she’d gotten mad and gone out … but not before she’d gotten drunk. She’d put Annie in her car seat but hadn’t buckled the car seat in. Winnie walked away with nary a scratch from that ditch … but Annie … my little girl … she were gone just that fast. I let it destroy me. There were people whot wanted to help but I was too busy being angry and hurt. I wanted Winnie to feel as bad as I did but she wouldn’t. She … I think she were relieved and that was the hardest thing of all to live with. My boss, he were a good man and told me that staying around was poisoning me and that I needed to get out, leave, find something to do with my life to give it purpose and meaning … his words. His brother hooked me up with a man he knew and I been with this crew ever since.”

He sighed and then said, “And for a while things did get better but it never went away. I never let it. When I was working I was one man. If we took leave too long I was the other me. I started digging that little grave in my heart all over again. After a while it got deeper and deeper and harder and harder to climb back out of. Last time I took a drunk I … I didn’t want to climb out and nearly wind up dying from alcohol poisoning. That’s when I ran into them folks I was telling you about. When we got back to the states for some R&R everybody expected me to go on a bender again … and I had meant to. Stopped at this truck stop to get some gas before heading to a bar I’d heard about. But there was this trailer on the side. Called itself a trucker’s chapel. Something drew me in.”

He laughed but it wasn’t funny. “I’d never been religious and still ain’t but something happened in that place, something I cain’t rightly explain in words that made sense. Didn’t a drop pass my lips for a long time after that day. I’d get tempted bad but I held up, remembering that feeling, remembering Annie … until that night with the gamblers. It was only one shot and I reckon everyone thought I got into the mess I did ‘cause I were drunk but I swear to you I weren’t. It’d been a long time but I could still tell the booze were watered down a bit. And if I’d been drunk I couldn’t have kept my head and stayed alive as long as I did.”

He sighed, “Not sure why I’m telling you this except that I wanted you to know. Bad things happen to folks that don’t deserve it, even little childrun. Bad things that you won’t ever fergit. And it’s a good thing to remember ‘em so if you ever get a chance to stop it from happening to someone else you can. It won’t make up for whot’s already been but it might stop something else bad from bein’. But you gots ta keep yer head. You cain’t let the bad things take over. If you do, you might as well as be as dead as my poor little Annie is ‘cause that’s all the good you’ll be. And when you cain’t keep going and bein’ what you need to be, there’s Someone bigger you can count on ter help you along. You cain’t fergit that for nothing ‘cause there might come a time when it’ll save yore life.”

He sniffed and said, “Now eat yer lunch. I ain’t the brightest of the bunch but even I can tell you done had to take a notch up in yore belt and yer shirts are startin’ to flap showing things maybe you’d be best not showin’.”

Whew. I’d known that Evans had led a hard life but hadn’t known it had that kind of heartache in it too. If anyone could tell me the truth about that part of life I knew that he could, more importantly I knew that he would because he’d always been a straight player with me. And he said things that gave me something to chew on besides the horrible pictures in my head. I grew up going to church – wouldn’t Mawmaw and Granny have pitched a fit if I hadn’t even if some of the kids could be mean as snakes without trying – but it had been a while since I had done anything but take that for granted. Remembering some of the things that I’d heard growing up helped ‘cause I trusted who they’d come from.

By that night I was in a better place in my head. Still didn’t feel like going to a party but I didn’t feel like digging a grave either. After our buggy night in Clinton State Park there was some debate before camping the next night at Douglas State Lake. I had a nightmare but it was the old one where Evans was sick and had his feet soaking in blood. I woke up watching him more carefully and it did seem that he was more tired. But then again we all were and so long as he was on the horse I never saw him stumble.

That day we picked up the pace and made thirty solid miles to stay in a little place called Aubry, Kansas that was near the Kansas/Missouri border. The only reason we could do it was because the road was fairly clear and because I found a bicycle that kept me from having to walk the whole way.

Things were better in the crew, Thor and I were square and the memory of the pyres was easing for everyone. Evans took his role as “elder” seriously and did his part to get the men chuckling over some memory or other. But at the same time we were all tense and getting more so. We were skirting closer to Kansas City and no one was too happy about that.

We needn’t have worried … or worried about what we were worried about anyway. The smell coming off KC was like a charnel house. I didn’t even want to know how many dead there had to be to make a smell that big even miles outside of the city proper. It hung like a pall on everything and even the animals sensed it. Trish and Mickey were both subdued and seemed to shrink for a bit. I saw Chuckri and Delia doing what they could but some things it’s hard to protect kids from. And even if I might have tried something different I knew it wasn’t my place. They were building a family and putting my hand in it wouldn’t have been right. So I just watched and did a bit of praying that things would turn out all right.

No one slept good that night. We didn’t have any choice, we were going to have to cut up the east side of Kansas City to make our way to Independence, Missouri. I also noticed in particular that Chuckri was starting to get a desperate look on his face. All the men kept looking at him. If I’d been him that would have driven me nuts.

Finally I went to Thor – Evans was occupied with some story or other trying to cheer Richards up – and tried to find out what was going on.

“What do you think Kid? Independence is practically in east Kansas City and Buckner not too far away from that.”

“OK, it looks bad. But he don’t know for sure it’s bad yet. Why is everyone acting like it absolutely has to be instead of thinking that it might not be?”

“Good Lord you’re young,” he said shaking his head. “Kid, the odds are …”

I interrupted saying, “The odds would say that none of us should have survived or maybe survived this far. The odds are probably that some of us are going to kick off during this winter. But I don’t see anyone letting those odds beat ‘em down.”

Suddenly a rider behind me popped me in the head and I turned to see Chuckri. But instead of angry he was smiling. “You tell ‘em Kid. No need to bury the bodies before we find out if they need it or not. Now come on and help me clear this mess out of the road so we can get the wagon by.”

That day was definitely not to become one of the highlights of my memories but we all survived it. The smell got so bad at one point that it was sticky on the back of your throat. We all put bandanas or scarves or whatever we had over our noses and mouths. It helped with the worst of it but never did cut it completely.

We crossed into Missouri almost without knowing about it. Kansas City straddled the state line so tightly that there almost wasn’t room for a road sign to tell you that you’d left one and entered the other. We made it into Independence as it was getting late but it was a haunted place. There had been rioting there the same as in KC and Chuckri finally had the kids lay down in the wagon and not look around at all. Corpses and … bits and pieces of unmentionable things … lay all over. It also looked like most of the goods from the inside of buildings had been tossed outside. Fire took out a good portion of east KC and kept going. Chuckri said it must have engulfed the Truman Sports Complex because it and a good portion of I435 simply didn’t exist anymore.

Now, in addition to the corpse smell, we had to deal with the smell of old smoke. But it got too dark to go any further and the animals were starting to balk. Best we were able to do was to get to the Truman historic site and we spent the night all together in one of the old buildings.

“Kid, I’d meant to get give you more time off guard rotation but …”

I told Thor, “I didn’t ask to be taken off.”

“No, but you know why I did.”

“Yeah and … I appreciate the thought. But if you need me on it’s not going to undo all that you did before.”

So that night I took a rotation with Evans. We went on at 0300 but by 0400 everyone was awake but the kids and wanting to leave. I had to walk the bike until the sun come up well enough to see and occasionally I’d step on things that had me trying to hold back a gag.

We were in Buckner by lunchtime. The closer we got to Chuckri’s house the more upset he became. When we got there and saw how badly the neighborhood was we all knew that there was no chance his family would still be there. We all tried to stop Chuckri from going in the house but he rushed in too fast. It looked like a bomb had gone off in there and he came out and just sat in the yard and cried.

None of the men knew what to do for him but they still sat with him. He was the first to really be faced with the reality of what the world had done to his family. I felt like an outsider. I thought maybe if I could find some pictures or something for him in all of the mess that it would help down the road.

It was horrible walking through that house. It had definitely been vandalized before it had been ransacked. It wasn’t quite as bad back in the two rooms that must have belonged to his kids but still a lot of stuff was obviously missing. Closets and drawers had been cleaned out, belongings were missing, same in the bathrooms. Then I looked at it again. Sure the rooms had been vandalized but it looked like they’d been cleaned out first. That’s when I saw that not all of the graffiti was done by the vandals.

I looked out the door to see everyone still. I hated to disturb them, hated that I might be wrong. But what if I was right and didn’t say anything.

“Chuckri …”

“Kid …” Thor growled.

I ignored him. “Chuckri … what does hayr mean? Is it Armenian?”

In a gruff voice he said, “Father.”

Ignoring the other men who were ready to pummel me I asked, “What about Ludvig?”

Chuckri lifted his head and said, “That’s my brother’s name. Why?”

“Something was … I think something was … written on the wall in the boy’s room. It … I don’t know … it kind of looks like a note but it’s in crayon and I can’t …”

Chuckri pushed me down running into the house. Evans looked at me, “Hope you know what you’re doing Kid.”

It wasn’t but a second before Chuckri was running back out of the house. “Saddle up! We’ve got to go.”

Thor grabbed him and stopped him, “Chuckri …”

But Chuckri wrenched free. “My son. It was him. He left me a note. My brother came to get them. Made my ex leave the city. They were heading to my Uncle’s place in Waterloo. I’m not going to give up, not until I know for sure.”

We all loaded up and headed out. Thor had to keep calling Chuckri back. “Listen Man, I know you want to get to this place as quick as you can but if you don’t slow down someone is bound to get hurt, and if not one of us the animals or the wagon. We’ll do our best to get there but we’ll do it together and in one piece.”

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 27

I was jittering worse than that time I was idiot enough to take the bet that I couldn’t drink three of those energy drinks one right after the other. It was early days and I wanted to belong so bad I made a bad choice. The things tasted disgusting, the reaction I had to them was worse. I think that was the only time my dad really doubted that I should be playing football. He told me if I was going to give into peer pressure just to be part of something then he’d find me something more constructive to do with my time and that what I had done was idiotic, dangerous and a whole slew of other things. I am taller than Dad was by a couple of inches but I swear I felt about two feet tall by the time he was done reading me the riot act that night after he came in from the fields and found out what I had done. But I did learn my lesson; I was sick as a dog for two days but the first one was the worst. I felt like I was trying to crawl out of my own skin. I couldn’t stop shaking for love or money. My dad called the special docs I saw because I was a GWB and they said to bring me in. Oh brother, after Dad got done the doc started in on me and told me it was likely only my size that kept me from needing to be in the hospital and that if he ever caught me doing something like that again he’d yank my eligibility faster than I could beg forgiveness. I swear I was afraid to drink a coke for rest of the year.

I learned the hard way that size of body does not indicate strength of common sense and that I was apparently just as prone as the next person to do something dumb on occasion. And now I was praying that I hadn’t done something dumb and made things worse for Chuckri. I mean sure, he and I’d had rough spots but on the other hand he was the first one that gave me any kind of chance when I first started with Thor’s crew. I knew I had to say something about the childish crayon scrawl I found but at the same time if it turned out to be bad anyway I was going to kick myself for not leaving well enough alone.

No one talked much as we rode along. The men would take turns riding up beside Chuckri, offering silent support but the horse he rode didn’t care for the bicycle much and between not wanting to get kicked, not knowing if I even had a place in his support group, and worrying that I was only making things worse I stayed back and just watched.

“There should be people. There should be something by now,” I told Evans as we passed through a little town called Napoleon. I was anxious and couldn’t help worrying.

“Didja notice the buildings?”

“Yeah, they’re all empty.”

“Yeah, they are.” I looked at him and then looked at the buildings more closely finally realizing that they were empty but in a neat kind of way compared to KC and other places we’d been through. Like they’d been cleaned out; not ransacked, but cleaned out. All of the buildings looked like that. Then I noticed that some attempt had been made to get any dangerous mess out of the way, most of it piled up neatly here and there. Evans said, “Someone’s done a good job here. Organized. Must be a group of decent size too for them to have done all of this.”

Chuckri stopped and we all stopped with him. “We’ve got to go through town, cross the tracks, and then towards the river. It’s not the best land around but my uncle bought it cheap and owns it free and clear and that is saying something for an immigrant’s kid who came to this country with barely the clothes on his back.” He was obviously proud of what his uncle had accomplished.

We rode following Chuckri’s lead. As soon as we crossed the tracks the road got rough. I noticed the other men slowing, even Chuckri. I biked over to Evans and asked, “What’s wrong? What’s up with the spooky dudes attitude.”

“Too quiet,” he muttered under his breath. “No people, no animals, nothin’, but no vandalism or ransacking either. This don’t fit with what we’ve seen so far.”

Once I started to pay attention I saw it and felt like an idiot for not noticing it earlier. Had I been at home I would have felt the difference but out here … I made a note to myself to be more aware of my surroundings.

I gave myself a good mental kick in the pants then pedaled up near Thor to ask him if he wanted me to go a little forward. I had no sooner got there than a shot rang. I felt my arm go numb and then it wasn’t numb no more as I crashed. Thor’s horse reared and I tried to roll out of the way. Everyone else was dismounting and looking for cover that didn’t exist.

I rolled over into a ditch in time to see someone barreling in this direction. I almost shot him until I realized he was a little on the short side to be a bad guy.

“Dad!”

Well, since I knew he wasn’t talking to me and the fact that Chuckri practically ran over me to get to the kid I figured he must be one of the missing kidlets.

The kid was hysterical and blathering so much and so fast that I only caught a word in three. Lucky for me it was in English so what I got made sense once I was able to string it together. Friends of his mothers had shown up as they were leaving town and “escorted” them out of the danger zone. Everything had been fine for a couple of weeks but when Chuckri’s uncle wouldn’t take their suggestions about how to farm without scaring the earth and being vegan and all the trouble started. And when the family had flat refused to include pagan nature worshiping activities into their lives things fell apart quickly. The family was basically enslaved with the children being held to make sure they behaved and did as they were told. It was psychological war rather than a truly physical one. Only when the adults tried to revolt a cousin had been murdered and another badly wounded.

They – the ones that had come in with his mother – had been trying to brainwash the children and it was working with the youngest ones but the older ones were having none of it. When they’d spotted riders the older kids had made their move covering for one of their number to escape to warn the incoming riders, they just hadn’t known who it was.

“Dad, you’ve got to get ‘em. They hurt Uncle Lud bad. And … and they hit grandmother because she won’t stop praying. You’ve got to …” Chuckri hugged his son, kissed him and handed him off to Delia.

“David, listen to me. You stay here. This is Delia … she … she and I ...” I could see him struggling.

I broke in. “Hey … David, right? How many are there and where are they? I owe somebody for this arm and I’d like to get it done before it starts hurting too bad.”

That broke the weird tension and about that time Thor made it over to our position despite the bullets that continued to fly.

“Kid …” he said after getting a look at me.

“Not now Thor. You can have your horse thank me later for saving it from getting shot,” I told him trying to grin though I’m not sure it worked by the look on his face.

In the middle of battle things seem to go slow and fast at the same time. Really I don’t remember what happened except in flashes. There wasn’t the worry that we’d hurt Chuckri’s family because they’d been locked into the a shed that doubled as a root cellar and the children were in a different location on the back of the property. Anyone shooting at us would be fair game.

Those men and women were nothing but bullies. They were dangerous but not well trained. There was no way they stood any significant chance against a well trained crew that had been together as long as the men had. I did my share but it was from the outside. Delia was in charge of the kids and I was supposed to help her but I wanted to do more than that.

I had to do something. I couldn’t just sit around waiting for the pain in my arm to totally make me useless. “David,” I started. “If I can get up in that tree what would I see?”

“The house and stuff like that,” he answered giving me a look that told me he wasn’t too sure he cared for me much.

Ignoring the look since I’d seen it from little kids more than once I said, “Sure, but could I see any of the places the bad guys are hiding behind?”

He started to shrug while searching for his father but then looked at me and slowly grinned. “Yeah. Yeah I think you can.”

He wanted to climb up there with me but I asked him – “man to man” – if he would take over looking after Delia and Trish and Mickey. He nodded, not fooled but seeming to appreciate the effort anyway so that he could save face.

Getting up that tree was no fun. The bullet had only barely got me through the meaty part of my arm in a quick in and out and didn’t even have much velocity when it did. It had been more of a lucky shot than a good or deliberate one. But it was definitely screaming at me that I was an idiot to do anything more than crawl up into a ball and cry like a baby. I told my appendage too bad, that I had work to do and suddenly found myself high up in the tree without remembering doing the actually climbing part.

I got set and then pulled the same tricks I did when I had been on the roof. One of the things that I had picked up when Chuckri and I were getting ammo was a good scope. A good scope can make a mediocre rifle into something better than it was ever meant to be. My shoulder and arm let out a yelp every shot I took but I still hit what I was aiming at thanks to how tight that scope brought the targets in. And I intentionally did what I wasn’t sure the men could have or would have done. I went after the female shooters.

When it was over with, and it didn’t take that long despite my description of it, the small farm was a mess. I wasn’t the only one that took a hit on our side. Chuckri had to have a dressing put on his rib cage, Alfonso had to have some gravel dug out of his arm from a ricochet, and Evans had taken another knock on the head by a woman who’d run out of bullets and attacked him with a piece of 2x4. None of us felt like dancing with the fools who had switched from being dangerous bullies to pleading for their miserable lives to whining like the scum they were all in the space of a few minutes.

“You … you killed the women!” one of the women I hadn’t shot screeched. Of course she was screaming at the wrong people but I wasn’t about to explain that to her. It would make me sound like some kind of serial killer or something.

“Shut up Linda,” Chuckri said with this kind of nonchalant rage I’d never seen anyone use before. Guess who Linda was? As she continued spewing acid I began to wonder if it was a good thing I hadn’t shot her after all.

After one such long stream of foulness I had finally had enough and turned on her. My arm was really singing and I’d had just about all I could take. “Will you shut your oversized yap already? If you haven’t got the sense to realize what a complete fool you are making of yourself could you at least show a little compassion for your poor kids? You’re a traitor, an embarrassment, and a poor excuse for a human. So shut it or you are going to find out I could care less what your gender is. Find some manners or find yourself shut up by me.”

I said the last as I got down in her space and gave her the same face that Freight Train Charbonneau used to give the big boys that thought she was easy to intimidate. She backed up so fast she fell on her backside and then she tried the poor pathetic route.

“Forget it,” I told her before any of the men could get taken in. “Crocodile tears mean nothing in this world any more. Your actions are what tell a person’s story and yours isn’t pretty, neither are you anymore. Your silliness and vanity may have paid your way before but they won’t get you anything these days except maybe pain and death.”

I was starting to freak a few people out, including a couple of our men and after a look from both Evans and Thor I stopped, but only grudgingly. Linda managed to push all of my buttons without even trying. I had my own hang ups it’s true and since I was having a hard time differentiating between whether it was my hang ups or her actions or the fact that my arm was throbbing like mad that was causing my oversized reaction I decided it would be the best thing to just stay away from her. Her calling me an ugly freak as I walked away pushed a few more and it took a lot to ignore her. To play it safe I stood near Evans as Richards was bandaging his head.

There had been a tussle to get the last of the bad guys who were using the little kids as hostages but the older kids inside wound up beating the snot out of them with chairs and anything else they could get their hands on once they knew they had adult support waiting to come in and help. Some help. Thor actually had to take the weapons away from some of the kids and carry them out so they wouldn’t have to live with murder on their hands. I heard him mutter, “Buncha little feral chimps.” I nearly laughed as he tried to peel kids off of him; they clung to him like burrs. The last couple wouldn’t let go until they recognized Chuckri at which point the look on Thor’s face said he lost an eardrum to the squeals of the little girl that had grabbed hold of his neck with a death grip.

At the same time the surviving adults in Chuckri’s family were set free from the shed and it was like being in the middle of a bunch of geese having a family reunion. Half of them weren’t speaking English, the other half were, there was crying and carrying on, there was laughter and pounding of backs. I’d never seen such a noisy love fest.

It was a long time settling down. As soon as I made sure Evans was comfortable and minding Richards who had his hands full with all of the injuries minor and not so minor I headed over to call Delia and in with Trish and Mickey. She drove the wagon while I gathered up the horses and as it was still too chaotic for me to feel comfortable – not to mention I was trying to avoid Richards and his poking – I went back out and started picking up casings.

“Hey! Hey! You … big guy!”

I turned to see a much younger version of Chuckri walking towards me. Since I knew this couldn’t be his son I waited for him to introduce himself. David was eleven and his little girl was about Mickey’s age.

“Yo … that giant dude, the one Uncle Tavit calls Thor, is looking for you.”

“Tavit?”

He looked at me like he was beginning to wonder if I was mentally slow. “Yeah. He works with you and …”

“Oh,” I laughed. “You mean Chuckri. I’ve never heard him called anything else.”

The kid … well, he wasn’t much younger than me so I felt weird calling him that … smiled and said, “You call Chuckri and more than half of us will turn around.” He held out his hand, “I’m Taniel. Ludvig Chuckri is my dad.”

“Oh. I was beginning to wonder. You look a lot like Chu … uh … your uncle.”

He laughed, “Which one? My dad is the oldest, then there are a couple of aunts, then Uncle Tavit, after him another aunt, and then my uncles Tovmas, Soghomon, and Pilbos. Uncle Pilbos is about your age I guess but the others are all older than us. Come on, Uncle Bedros wants to say a blessing for the day and good fortunes and he doesn’t like waiting.”

As we walked I asked him, “Who is Uncle Bedros?”

“My grandfather’s brother. My grandfather passed a couple of years ago but you’ll meet my grandmother. When she gets a good look at you she’ll probably put you to work in the field pulling the mules.”

I laughed because it is the kind of thing my own grandmother would have said to a young man my age and size. I walked up and into Thor’s bad mood. “Where were you?”

Rather than do something that might start an argument that would embarrass us both I started emptying my pockets and forcing him to juggle all of the empty casings that I’d been picking up. As I kept trying to hand them to him even though his hands were now full Taniel walked away trying not to smile.

Thor sighed then shook his head. “Next time tell someone and I won’t chew you out.”

I said, “Oh, were you? ‘Cause you just asked where I was and …”

“Kid …” Thor said warningly.

“All right Rocky, think he’s got the picture,” Evans said drawing my attention. All the good feeling I had went away with one look at his face.

“Evans!”

“Aw, get off me Kid. It’s just a bump.” It was a bump all right, there was a goose egg shaped swelling above his eye that was so big it deformed his hairline. His skin had that nasty gray shade to it that I’d started to associate with his bad turns and I could see when he stood still he kind of listed to the side. Regardless of what he said he let me pull up a chair for him to sit in under a tree then told me, “Now you listen, this ought to be good. He looks like someone whot can give a good sized and powerful prayer.”

I looked up to see a man that was some shorter than I was and very lean and wiry looking. His eyes were black and could have been forbidding but somehow they weren’t. And Evans was right, the man certainly did know how to pray. The words weren’t fancy, the sentences were long, but they seemed to be packed with a lot of feeling and power.

I looked at Evans with a smile and he said, “What’d I tell ya. Knew he had it in him. Now I don’t need no nursemaid. Go on. Git. Do what Thor tells you to and stay o’ trouble until I’m feeling better. Ya hear?”

I laughed, “I hear. And you’re one to talk about staying out of trouble, look what you got into when my back was turned.”

“Aw pshaw,” he snorted back at me, laughing a bit.

I turned and saw Thor staring at me with a funny look on his face. I walked over, “Well, what now?”

Instead of answering he asked, “What’s with you and Evans?”

“Huh?” I turned around and saw Evans talking to the man that had to be Uncle Bedros.

He glowered at me and explained, “You two sure are getting on.”

I shrugged, “We watch each other’s back. What am I not even allowed to be friends with any of your crew?” I meant it to be sarcastic but I guess part of me was starting to wonder and it must have shown on my face.

“Friends.”

I swallowed, “Well … I guess … I guess not,” I whispered trying not to sound like he’d hurt my feelings again. I backed up and turned away as Chuckri came up with some other men that all looked like him enough for me to know they were either brothers or nephews.

Evans didn’t like me to hover but I couldn’t just stand around doing nothing. No sooner would I stand still than my arm would call for me to notice it more than I wanted to and Thor’s words would start eating at me. I decided to go over and start picking up limbs and stuff that had fallen in the yard which was a real mess. I’d seen a yard lot look as messy as this one did. My family made a habit of picking stuff up anytime anything fell and putting it in the wood pile; even my grandmothers did it that way.

A little girl, maybe six or seven, came up to me and said sharply, “You aren’t supposed to do that.”

“Why?” I asked her surprised.

“Because of nature.”

I was thinking what the heck when David came over and patted the little girl and said, “Remember, we talked about this.”

In a bossy tone she retorted, “But Momma said …”

“I know what Momma said,” David said carefully. “But …”

The little girl was having none of it and started to pitch a fit, egged on by her mother and the other weirdos we’d freed the Chuckri family from.

Kinda out of left field I through out, “You know, if Adam and Eve hadn’t eaten that apple we wouldn’t be in this fix.”

The little girl stood there with her mouth hanging open thinking maybe the big guy in front of her had head problems. I shrugged. “They disobeyed God and got into something they weren’t supposed to so He kicked ‘em out of the Garden and said, ‘From here on out you are going to have to work for everything you get in this life.’ He said that we’d have to deal with thorns and all sorts of bothersome things. I reckon that’s why he has the limbs fall from the trees too. It gives us something to do besides sit around whining about stuff.”

All the while I was saying this I was getting catcalls and worse from the prisoners, one in particular had a nasty mouth. I’d been called a freak too many times in my life for it to bother me very often but when he said it I was fast losing my patience. I looked over and there was a handy dandy hook on the side of the barn about five feet off the ground. Sometimes I’m not a very nice person.

I walked over and picked the guy up from where he’d been sitting on the gound, bearing the weight on my uninjured arm. Irritated enough to not care that my other arm wasn’t happy with me at all I told him, “Here’s a wedgie man … they build character” right as I none too gently hung him by his britches on that hook. Reckon it creased him pretty good in a tender spot because he commenced to howling pretty loudly.

Then I turned and stepped out of range of being kicked and turned to the kids and said, “Now see here? This man is what you call a hypocrite. He claims to be a vegetarian and not believe in killing animals but just look at him, claiming to be all humble and junk. That belt is a good quality one and made of leather. Everyone here knows where leather comes from?” They all did. “That’s right. Now look at his shoes, those are expensive leather cowboy boots if I ever saw a pair. And if he really was a peace loving sort like they’re trying to play at I don’t guess he would have treated your family the way he did or take shots at us.”

The little girl was still hanging onto what her Momma said so I bent down and said. “Look Sweet Pea, I know you love your Momma but was it very nice of her to try and hurt your Daddy?”

That really flipped her switch. “Daddy left us!!”

“Excuse me Shorty but if I have the timeline down right your Momma knew what your Daddy did for a living when they met and married. He put his life in danger to make sure that you and your brother had a free country to live in and a roof over your head.”

“Rocky!” Chuckri came over with a snarl.

“Hey man, I know you don’t want me upsetting your kid but do you think it is any better for her to believe some lie told to her?” Before he could stop me I turned around and told David and his little sister, “Your father survived bombs, bandits, and bullets with the only goal of getting to you all. It is what kept him going and he talked about getting to you guys as soon as we could. When we finally did make it to your other house and you weren’t there and he thought the worst had happened he just fell down in the yard and started howling like his heart was broke into a bazillion pieces. David, the only thing that reached him was when your note was seen. It gave him hope and we came lickety split here. He loves you two just that much. In fact, he loves you so much that it made his heart big enough that he met these two little kids that didn’t have parents anymore and a woman that had a heart ache of her own and he’s made room for her too. Stop believing what everyone else is telling you to believe and just give him a chance and take the time to get to know him again.”

It was David that asked, “Those two kids with that woman over there?”

“Yep. The girl is named Trish and the little boy is named Mickey. Their parents never came home after the bombs fell and they don’t have any family left. Trish took care of her brother for months by herself but as you can imagine since you have a younger sibling it wasn’t easy.”

“And that woman?” he asked.

“Her name is Delia and she and your dad have gotten to be real close. Kinda the opposite of what happened between your dad and mom. I know it’s bound to be confusing on top of everything else.”

David sounding way too old for his age said, “No. Mom had a lot of boyfriends all the time. She explained it to us already.”

“Er … um … well … uh … don’t think that is quite … uh …,” I turned. “Chuckri!”

He sighed and cross his arms the best he could in spite of his ribs, “So now you expect me to rescue you?”

I realized I’d way over stepped my place and I tried to look contrite but couldn’t quite pull it off. Suddenly David laughed at me. “You’re funny. I’m not stupid. Delia is Dad’s girlfriend. But Dad never had girlfriends so he must really like Delia. It’s cool. I told Dad last year he needed to get a girlfriend since Mom had boyfriends.”

‘David!” Chuckri was turning red with embarrassment.

“You know, I knew there was something about you I liked,” I told David. “Now if we can just get your sister to give your dad a chance.”

“Oh, she will. She always comes around. Don’t you Vika?”

The little girl’s bottom lip started to quiver, “It was scary and Stupid ran away and didn’t come back like he said his would. Daddy wasn’t there either. He should have been there. He should have.” Then she started to cry and Chuckri scooped her up.

I asked David, “Who’s Stupid? A dog?”

David snickered, “Mom’s boyfriends. I kept forgetting all their names so I just started calling them Stupid when no one was around. Vika heard me one time and then she started doing it too. Mom didn’t care, sometimes she would call them that too.”

I mean, what do you say to something like that? From a ten year old? It sure didn’t say much for their mother in my opinion but that was something else that was none of my business. I’d put my foot into it just about as far as I could get away with and probably some beyond that.

I got out of the way and let them do the family thing. To get out of the way I had to pass by the weirdoes and I began to be able to separate them. Most of them were just the weak go along types. Of these some were blustering and some just looked in shock and defeated. Then you had the angry ones that were fanatics and willing to fight about and over what they believed in. But there were a couple whose behavior warned me they were well and truly dangerous. It was debatable whether they truly believed in the same things as their comrades but they believed in something. These were the ones that would willingly become cannon fodder; these were the recruiters and the ones that sent them to battle, who designed the acts of terror at some level.

Whenever the GWB thing would make it to the mainstream media every couple of years these were the ones that would go on television and sound so reasonable about how we were mistakes that shouldn’t be encouraged, how we needed to be watched so we didn’t pollute the gene pool with our unnaturalness, blood, how it might even be safer and better if we were put into a camp (for our own good), and lots of other stuff like that. Some of these people had the ears of people in government and in the medical community because when I was about eleven they made a rule that the GWBs couldn’t donate blood and that all of our tissues and fluids were to be considered toxic waste and had to be disposed of separately from normal human hospital waste.

They reminded me of the fanatics that joined Hitler’s movement and picked out portions of the world’s population for annihilation. Singly they were bad enough but I counted five in this group plus they had all of their underling idiots to support their power base. One woman in particular gave me the heebies and she kept watching me as I continued to pick up limbs and right all of the overturned stuff in the yard.

A guttural whisper said, “I know you from some place.”

I did my best to ignore her and walk away. “As soon as I figure it out you and I will have a little … talk.”

Linda added, “Yeah, you just wait until the rest of us get …” The woman knocked into Linda hard. I pretended I hadn’t been paying attention to what she’d said but my head was spinning.

Lucky for me Thor bellowed for me so I made my escape without having to be sneaky about it.

“Yeah?” I asked him tiredly. My arm was next to useless by that time and was well and truly throbbing enough that it was draining my energy.

“Has Richards looked at that arm?”

“Yeah.” I was being polite because I didn’t have the energy to get into a snapping contest. Bad move on my part because it let Thor know that I was worse off than I wanted to let on about.

“OK Kid. Off your feet for a spell.”

“What? Wait … no … I’m fine.”

I got a cocked eyebrow. “Don’t try and bluff this one out.”

I whispered under my breath, “Act like you’re mad at me.”

“What?” He said it loud enough that we got a few looks.

“Yeah, go with that,” I continued under my breath. “Look like you’re angry with me and then point over to the wagon and get behind it so we can talk without anyone hearing.”

He looked like he was all out of patience but he did what I asked and we wound up behind the wagon. “Now you want to tell me what this stupid display was about? You thinking about taking off right this second or something?”

“Stow it Thor. Look, this is going to sound nuts so just let me say it and then you can decide. I pick out about five of those greenies to be high up in the food chain. I can’t explain how I know just that I’ve met people like them before and those five are the real deal in contrast to the rest of them.” I told him which ones I was talking about, especially the woman and what she’d said to me. “That Linda … Chuckri’s ex … well she said that basically we’d be in for it when their other friends get … get something. I’m not sure but I thought she might mean get here. The other woman sure tried to shut her up without me noticing and I played like I hadn’t heard. For some reason most of them seem to think I’m a few fries short of a Happy Meal.”

Straight faced Thor said, “I can’t imagine why.”

“Thor …” I stopped and hated myself for what I said next. “Thor … please … if I have to beg I will. Those five are dangerous with a capital D. I’m not freaked out. I’m not being a baby. Those people … or people just like them … killed my parents. Premeditated murder just because of what I am, what the rest of us were. Please, I can’t stand the idea of them starting their movement back up, not at the further expense of Chuckri’s family. Please.”

“Hey,” he said quietly. “Take it easy Kid. It’s OK. No need to be scared.”

“I’m not scared … OK, maybe I am … but with good reason and …”

A voice caught us both by surprise. “What do you mean at the expense of my family … and what are you exactly that would get your family killed?”

Chuckri and Alfonso stood there looking suspicious and I knew that things were about to get messy.
 

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 28

Thor tried to bluff it out but I shook my head. “Forget it. Thanks for the effort though. I told you when I fulfilled my promise to the kids that I was going to hit the road. I’ve never said I would do anything else than that.” I was so tired. My arm was hurting, my head was hurting, now my heart was hurting. I really wasn’t prepared for what I knew was likely coming. But it was time to man up … er … woman up.

“I … oh brother … I don’t even know how to say any of this without making a mess of it,” I said horribly afraid I was only going to make everything worse.

“Try being honest. Thor said you’d been lying about something all along. All of us could tell there was something.” Chuckri wasn’t going to be put off. Now that it was time I didn’t want to be put it off but I didn’t know how to start. Oh well, start at the beginning I told myself.

“Either of you guys remember what first got the green freaks registered as domestic terrorists? Not just the individuals but the entire group?”

Alfonso nodded, “Yeah, that was that medication tampering case. Why?”

“OK, but do you remember what …”

“The Green War,” corrected Chuckri. “The medication tampering was just part of it.”

I nodded, still very uncomfortable. “You remember what the result of the medication tampering was?”

Alfonso said, “Sure, all those retarded kids got born.”

I winced. That was the stereotype that nearly everyone seemed to remember. As I tried to fish around for a way to say it Chuckri shook his head. “They weren’t all retarded but most of them had something genetically wrong with them. I thought they all died.”

That was ironic. I opened my mouth but it was another voice that everyone heard. A woman’s voice said, “Tavit, be nice. The children were called GWBs … Green War Babies … and most of them were not mentally challenged in the least unless it was already a predisposition in their family genetic makeup. Many of them did have some kind of genetic anomaly but roughly half of them looked perfectly normal. Many of the severely challenged children died before they were five years of age. Every year some would pass away but there were fewer deaths each year as the weaker ones either outgrew their weakness through therapy, or new therapies were found, or defects were surgically corrected.”

The woman had the kindest deep brown eyes I’ve ever seen. “My name is Elsapet. You’re eighteen aren’t you?”

She was older than Chuckri by a few years but she wore them well. I nodded.

“Forgive my brother, he doesn’t know.”

I was embarrassed. “He doesn’t need my forgiveness. If anything it is the other way around. I haven’t been honest. I hid what I was … am.”

“Hmmm,” she said. I wasn’t sure what it meant but she wasn’t laughing at me or being unkind despite her smile and the humor that lit her face. I thought she knows but Evans showed up. He looked bad. I mean as bad as I’d ever seen him. And there was something about his face that scared me.

I went to go to him but Chuckri grabbed my arm and spun me around. “Are you telling me that you’re one of them GWBs?!”

“Keep your voice down,” I told him. “Why do you think Thor and I were talking away from those weirdoes.”

“Tavit …” Elsapet said reproachfully.

“Enough.” Talk about your chauvinism coming out. “This boy is endangering out entire family … or what is left of it. You expect me to just …”

“Tavit,” she said again, this time sternly. “You are going to regret your tone brother.”

Chuckri took a deep breath and said, “I meant no disrespect to you Elsapet. I know you are very protective of children but this boy is …”

“Tavit …” she tried to start again but Evans finally broke in.

“That’s it,” he slurred. “I’m not standing for this nonsense no more.” He stepped into Chuckri’s personal spaced and poked him in the chest with his finger and said, “You touch my little girl and I rip you @#$% head off. Come on Annie, we don’t need them.”

I was in shock. Everyone one was in shock. He turned around and grabbed my arm to pull me but wound up stumbling and then as he went down grabbing his head.

“Evans!” I caught him as he went down, going to the ground with him when my arm screamed at the abuse.

“No sass girl. I mean it. And no reason you can’t go back to calling me Pap now that they know.” His voice grew weaker and weaker until he was silent and unconscious after his last word.

“Richards!” I screamed forgetting to modulate my voice to make it sound more male. Elsapet bent over and was lifting Evans’ eye lids and examining him closely. Richard showed up and dropped down. And together with Elsapet they took him from my arms and then laid him on the ground.

“Come on Rocky,” Thor said as he tried to life me up but I shook him off. He bent down and gently … for him anyway … told me, “Come on Kid, give them some room to work. I know you want to help but right now you’re in the way.”

I finally let him help me up. I was shaking. I couldn’t help it. “He called me Annie,” I whispered to no one in particular.

Thor asked quietly, “You know who Annie is?”

I nodded my head. “He … he told me. It was after … after … those girls. He was trying to explain that bad things just sometimes happened and … Oh Lord, what’s wrong? Why would he call me by her name?”

No one answered me. Instead Chuckri and Alfonso looked at me in shock. “Yeah … why would he call you by a girl’s name?”

I swallowed, really not wanting to pay attention to anything but what was happening down on the ground. “I … I hadn’t gotten to that part yet.”

Elsapet looked up and said, “Be gentle brother or you will become very unhappy.”

I just shook my head. “Not his fault. None of it is his fault or the others either. I didn’t mean for anyone to know.”

Alfonso looking at me like I had three heads asked, “Want us to know what … exactly?”

As I watched Evans’ face get even grayer than it was before I said, “My name really is Rocky Charbonneau and I really did play football in highschool. And yes, I’m really a GWB. As a matter of fact, I’m the last GWB. The very last. The rest are dead. The … the greenies … or someone dressed like them … they came to our … we … we were having a … a party … all of us that had lived to see eighteen. In San Francisco … they … they gassed everybody … except for me and … and my best friend …” I looked at Thor. “I can’t do this again. I … I can’t.” I wasn’t sure whether it was telling the story that I couldn’t do or whether it was watching someone else I cared about die. Because that is what was happening.

Richards must have heard me because he said, “He’s just unconscious Rocky. We’re going to take him to the house and make sure he is stable. Chuckri’s sister is a doctor.”

“Researcher,” she corrected.

“Researcher, doctor … either way you have more knowledge than I do.”

She bowed her head at his compliment and even though I tried to help I was waived off as Montgomery and Barkley came up with an improvised stretcher. Richards stopped me and then looked at Thor. “Keep her out here for a while. I need to see how Evans is going to react when he regains consciousness. I want to keep him as calm as possible.”

Thor looked at me like he expected me to fight about it. I asked, “Richards?”

“Rocky, we’ll do everything we can.”

“Yeah, I know that … just … just if he acts upset or something … tell him it didn’t bother me. Being called Annie. He’s always looked after me … you know?” Richards nodded in understanding.

“Kid?” Thor was asking without asking if I was OK. I didn’t know what to tell him.

I must have been standing around zoning longer than I thought because when I turned back around all of them men were there and a few of Chuckri’s family as well.

“Come to stare at the freak?” I muttered under my breath and turned and found myself nearly face to face with a young man roughly my size.

He smiled and I saw that he may have looked a whole lot like Chuckri but he had his Aunt Elsapet’s eyes. “Hi. My name is Pilbos.”

“Uh … hi.”

“So what’s the story or are you going to leave us hanging?”

I just looked at him. “C’mon. So your name is Rocky but you’re a girl. Doesn’t compute for me. What about the rest of you?” he asked looking at two other young men.

“Pilbos,” they said warningly at the same time.

I shook my head trying to clear it. “No, it’s OK. I’ve been called Rocky my whole life. It really is what I answer to best of anything. Even the doctors and nurses that delivered me called me that. It was a joke. I don’t think they meant it to be mean. No one at the time really knew how … how true it was going to be.” I shrugged. “On my birth certificate it says Rochelle … Rochelle Ghislaine Charbonneau. But … please, just call me Rocky. It’s always fit me better.”

“And the football stuff,” he started with a wicked gleam in his eyes. “You … you wouldn’t have just happened to play for the Cavaliers would you?”

I turned around and really looked at him for the first time. “Oh great,” I sighed. “Tell me I didn’t flatten a friend of yours or something like that.”

He snickered, “Our coach was having kittens when you guys made state last year. He hated you.”

“I’m honored I’m sure,” I said not knowing what else to say.

The lunatic just laughed. “No … seriously. It was great. I mean really great. You got me a date with Margaret Hanley because I stuck up for you.”

I looked at Thor not quite sure what to make of what was happening. Apparently his older brothers were used to Pilbos turning strange as they both looked like they wanted to drop him down a deep hole some place.

“I’m Tovmas. Please ignore our baby brother. He was dropped too often on his head.”

“Yeah … I’m sensing that.” That only made Pilbos laugh harder.

“See! I told you. She could kick butt! Freight Train ruled the field.”

Now it was my turn to want to crawl in a hole. “I didn’t rule the field. I got knocked on my can plenty of times. Cut it out. I know you’re … well I … I guess you’re trying to be nice … but I’ve got enough problems without you bringing up a past that is dead and buried,” and then I paused and it came out before I could stop it, “… just like everything else in my life.”

That shut him up, or it did after Tovmas and the other young man punched him in the shoulder a couple of times.

Montgomery came up and looked at me like I was a bug under a microscope. “You sure you’re a girl?”

I sighed and looked at him, “No. It’s been put to scientific debate and no one else is quite sure and since I was allowed to pick …”

“Seriously?” Alfonso asked. I just rolled my eyes and tried to walk away but Thor stepped in front of me.

“Time for the telling Kid. Just get it all out and maybe by that time Richards will let you go see Evans.”

So I told it. From the night in San Francisco, Jonathon and I escaping and picking up his grandmother, their deaths, and then thinking that being a guy was bound to be safer as I tried to get home than being a girl was … even one like me. How I hadn’t expected to actually like any of them and how the lying got to be harder and harder but that once I had started hoeing that row I hadn’t known how to stop. How I didn’t tell Evans, Richards, or Thor that they just figured it out … except for the GWB part. That I’d told to Thor because he was the leader and I’d felt obligated.

I made sure to explain that the three men had only kept my confidence because I’d asked them to because when the Greenies started showing up again I’d gotten worried and hadn’t wanted to endanger anyone else.

“But you did, didn’t you.”

Chuckri’s voice cut right through me. “I … I didn’t know your ex was one of them Chuckri.”

Pilbos broke in and asked, “Why do you call him Chuckri? Half of us will …”

I was losing patience. I was shook up enough as it was and this guy might have been my age but he reminded me rather forcefully of the goofballs that I had gone to school with that always seemed to lag behind the maturity meter by a few years. “OK, before you ask, I didn’t know his name was Tavit before today. Two, I haven’t been given permission to use that name. Three, are you trying to annoy me on purpose? Cause it’s working.”

Tovmas and the other young man tried to hide their laughter behind their hand. Pilbos just smiled. “I get that a lot.”

“No kidding. Can’t imagine why,” I huffed going to stand closer to Thor just because I wanted to. So what if I was all but hiding behind him. I felt exposed and he was the only thing big enough close at hand that I could use as a visual barrier.

“You OK Rochelle?” Thor asked.

“How many times do I have to tell you it’s Rocky.”

“I asked a question Ro-chelle.”

“Rock-ee. It’s real simple. Or like Pilbos were you dropped on your head too many times as a baby?”

This time it was Alfonso and Barkley that tried to hide their smiles.

Chuckri still wasn’t satisfied. I could see him looking at me like he’d never seen me before and wasn’t at all sure that he liked what he was seeing now. I didn’t blame him. There was some issues that hadn’t been resolved and I’m sure finding out that he’d hit a girl … all be it one that had been pretending to be a boy … bothered him more than a little bit. It must have been at that moment that the same thought finally penetrated the thoughts of the other men.

“Wait … oh … aw man …” Montgomery said.

“Guys, don’t … please. All of that is cool. You didn’t know. I didn’t want you to know. It’s not like I’m some helpless young thang. Look at me. I might not be quite as bulked up as when I was playing football but I’m still quite capable of holding my own. And besides,” I told them trying to assuage their male pride that I know was starting to pinch, “It’s not like you guys ever gave me everything you had. You were pretty easy on me compared to what you could have done.”

It didn’t matter what I said however because Chuckri said, “My family doesn’t need any more trouble.”

And with those words I knew that not only did his family not need any more trouble, I couldn’t stand to take the risk of bringing more trouble to them. I couldn’t stand the idea of bringing trouble to anyone.

I heard, “Rocky.”

I turned to see Elsapet and she said, “Dr. Richards said you can come to the house. Go in through the front door and then down the long hall. You will find a small room in the back.”

I took off at a run, not caring if the conversation with the men was over or not. I stopped short before walking onto the porch. My grandmother had always disliked when I forgot to at least try and not sound like a herd of elephants when I was in the house. I’d finally learned to actively think about my size when I was five and nearly knocked over her prized tiffany lamp.

I continued to try and walk gently to the back of the house and then to the room Elsapet had told me about. The curtains were closed but the shades had not been dropped so daylight still came in, but it was a honey colored light that matched the shears.

“No need to act like I’m dying Kid. Although after the fool way I acted you might wish I was.”

I fell down to my knees beside the sofa and told Evans, “Don’t you ever say that! Not ever again!”

“Whoa now, what’s all this fuss about?”

I sniffed back the tears that continued to threaten. “You nearly scared me out of a year’s growth, that’s what happened.”

A muted twinkle was visible in his eyes when he responded, “All things considered that musta been some scare.”

I gave a watery chuckle and finally started feeling better. “Yes, it was. Don’t do it again.”

“Did I … did I mess things up for ya? Seems to me this might not have been the best time for things to come out.” I could see he was tired and not in a good way.

“Don’t worry about it. The lying had to stop at some point.”

“But?”

“But what?”

“You know what I’m saying Kid. You and I both know those chowder heads I crew with are going to give you are hard time if for no other reason than because you was able to fool ‘em so well for so long … and would have kept on foolin’ ‘em if Chuckri hadn’t been nosing around to find out what you and Thor was talkin’ about.”

I shook my head. “It’s not Chuckri’s fault. He has a responsibility to his family.”

“Humph. He’s also still got responsibilities to this crew.”

I said quietly, “Evans … you know I’ve never really been a member of the crew. And you know … you know I needed to leave at some point and this being the most likely point.”

“Now just hold on a sec. You and me was gonna go fishing. You going back on it?”

“It’s … it’s not that I’m going back on it and you know it if you’ll just think about it like I’m not some stray you’ve picked up and determined to look after.” I shook my head when he started to talk. “I respect you a lot but you don’t know these people Evans. They’re never going to stop coming after me it seems … or after what I represent to them. They’ll destroy anyone I’m with.”

“And just what in the sam hill is that supposed to mean?” he asked still upset.

“Jonathon … you know, my friend … we used to talk about it. It never made sense the way people always explained it to us. Why did the greenies hate us so much? Why did they keep making the threats? They went on to other schemes and by continuing to bring the GWBs up over and over again it just made them look bad. Why would they do it?”

He shook his head, “Aw Kid, them people is all nuts. Why do they do any of the stuff they do?”

“Actually some of the stuff they do does make sense if you are all into that earth-worshiping/people-hating stuff. But the other, constantly harping on the GWBs just doesn’t fit. Unless …”

He asked, “Unless what?”

“Think about it. We were their failure. As far as anyone seems to have been able to determine that terrorism with the prenatal vitamins was their first major act as a cohesive group; before it was really little more than a bunch of fanatic cells that would get together, support each other’s blogs and occasionally to a little protesting. But with that act of terrorism they united. And it was a failure. Maybe not an unqualified failure but it was a failure nonetheless. And they’d alerted the public about how far they were willing to go before they were really ready to perform optimally. We – the GWBs – were an embarrassment. We were like a scar or a sore that they just couldn’t stop picking at.”

“Kid,” he said. “If they’s like everyone else most of ‘em are dead.”

“Maybe they are. But enough of them aren’t. And it looks like they are trying to reform and continue their work. Look at the greenies here. What I’d really like to know is how they knew to come here; to gather and start their work over.”

I looked up but Evans had drifted back to sleep. I worriedly asked Richards, “Did I talk too much? Did I wear him out?”

Richards shook his head. “No. Rocky, come out to the porch with me. Elsapet is just across the hall and she’ll call us if he wakes back up.”

He took me out a different way to a screened in porch on the back of the house that looked towards the river. “So … cat’s out of the bag.”

I shrugged, “It was bound to happen.”

“Are you sorry?”

I shrugged again. “Like I said, it was bound to happen. I wish it could have happened different but it didn’t.”

“Give them time. They’ll come around Kid, you just need to give them some room to do it in.”

This time I sighed. “There isn’t time for that. I wish there was. I’d like to know for sure that they forgive me but I don’t have that luxury. More of those greenies are coming. If they think that I’m here, the last of my kind, they won’t stop until I’m dead.”

“Hey now,” he said concerned. “That’s exaggerating surely.”

“No Richards it isn’t. You didn’t see what those people did to all of my friends and family in San Francisco. When I die so will the stain on their honor … or whatever the heck you call it. They’ll look at it like they are finishing what they started eighteen years ago. Some of them are just that crazy.”

“Rocky …”

“No, listen, I’ve been thinking this out. I have the leaders pegged. There are five of them, that’s plenty but I think I can still handle them. I’m going to pack my gear and take the wagon … it isn’t looking too healthy anyway; I figure it has maybe a hundred miles left in it before it really rattles apart. Those two nags pulling it aren’t much better. I put the five baddies in the wagon and I just drive away. I’ll … I’ll take them as far away from here as I can. Without the leaders the group will fall apart. And if we’re really lucky the other ones coming this way will think they’ve got a bigger fish to fry in me and not come to here after all, but come after me instead.”

I was rather happy at having found a solution but the look on Richards face was one of total outrage. “Now look,” I told him. “I know I really need to knock some of the rough edges off of the plan but …”

“I’ll knock some rough edges off all right, but it won’t be off of that idiotic plan.” Thor’s growl had me nearly jumping out of my skin.

“Do you listen at keyholes too?!” I snarled at him, embarrassed that he’d heard me sounding so pathetic.

“I do plenty more than that. Just what the bloody @#$% do you think you are on about?” He stepped through the screen door and between him and I we seemed to take up so much room that Richards felt the need to slip back inside.

“Don’t be a hard head Thor. I can’t stay. I never meant to stay. All this did was push the time frame up.”

“You’ll just leave Evans, just like that?”

“No, not just like that. I wouldn’t leave, at least not like this, if there wasn’t good reason to. You said you’ve dealt with the greenies before. Then you should know just what they’re capable of all in the name of their beliefs. They want to initiate the Great Cleansing, kill off all the humans so that the earth can … I don’t know … do its thing or whatever. I’ll be a great diversion to draw them off and away from here. As an added bonus I’ll take five of those yahoos off of your hands for you. It’s a win-win situation for everyone.”

He grabbed me by the shoulders and shook, “Rochelle you are driving me insane. A win-win situation. For who?! Certainly not for you. You think you can really deal with five lunatics while you are running off into the wilderness in some beat up old wagon pulled by two of the oldest and dumbest nags still putting one hoof in front of the other?! You try that crap and I will turn you over my knee and I’ll …”

“Try it Thor and you watch what happens!” I was getting mad right back at him.

“Rochelle …”

“The name is Rocky!! How many times do I have to tell you that you mule headed Neanderthal?!”

“Ro-chelle, I repeat if you so much as think of trying to pull a stunt like that you will not enjoy the consequences.”

I was so angry I was near tears. “I … will … not … put … these … people … in … danger!! I’ve already lost my parents and best friend and God alone knows how many others died just because they were determined to kill all of us GWBs that night in San Francisco. They nearly succeeded. Now look at Evans, they’ve hurt him too. He’s been looking after me like my own father … OK … maybe not exactly like Dad would have done it but his heart’s in the right place and he has taught me things I needed to know to survive. And you and the other men … I know you don’t think much of me but surely you at least know I’d never intentionally set you guys up to take a pounding … or worse. I can’t stand the idea of anyone else getting hurt because of me. I just can’t.”

“Rochelle … and you can stop trying to make me call you Rocky because I won’t do it unless I feel like it and right now I don’t. Rochelle, you are not the reason your parents were killed, or your friend Jonathon and his grandmother. You aren’t the reason Evans got hurt. Those people, they made the choice to act the way they did …”

“Even if I can eventually agree to believe that,” I said interrupting him. “… in the here and in the now, those people are going to use me as an excuse to attack this family. You said you knew how they were. Well I more that know Thor, I understand them. They have to come after me. I mess with their worldview and their view of themselves. I’m living proof that they murdered a bunch of babies and caused a bunch more to suffer their whole lives in one way or another. I’m proof that their actions aren’t kind, that they aren’t gentle little farm critters like Bambi and Thumper all cartoonish in their peace, love, and happiness. I’m proof that they are the cancer on this earth and not the other way around. And there’s not much proof left … just me. I’m alone … I’m all alone. And every time I turn around, every time I find something that takes that aloneness away they hurt it and kill it.”

I was too upset, I ran off the porch and ran through the group that had gathered to hear Thor and me argue, something we seemed to do a lot of whether I was in boy disguise or not. I didn’t know where I was going, I just needed to escape from the closed up feeling that was suffocating me. Idiot for punishment that I was my escape route went right passed the prisoners where they were tied.

It was that woman again that said, “I know who are you are now freak. How did you escape getting gassed with the rest of the mutants?”

I knew if I stopped I would have probably hurt her and hurt her badly. I don’t think … no, I know that she didn’t realize that I was a lot more dangerous than she really believed I was … especially in the frame of mind I was in.

“That’s right freak … run … run while you can. We’ll get you, we’ll never stop until we get you and wipe the last of you unnatural creatures off the face of mother earth.” The others picked up on what she was saying and added their voices to hers. I ran to the barn but I couldn’t get far enough away from their voices. I was afraid I would never get far enough away from their voices to escape them.

I ran to the back of the barn, not really paying attention to anything but trying to find some place, any place to stop the hurt I was feeling. I was grabbed from behind and I started fighting.

“Stop it Rochelle, you’re going to bust that arm open again and then Richards will have my head.”

“Thor! Can’t you just leave me in peace?!”

“No. No I can’t. God help me but I can’t.”

And then he did something that I’d never expected in a million years.
 

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 29

OK first off, I’m not fond of people invading my personal space. It drives me crazy because for too many years I didn’t have much control over the doctors who were always poking at me and the curious who were always touching me to see if I was real or just some adult dressed like a little kid. Some of that went away as my growing began to slow down and my peers began to do their own growing but by then it was too late. You could say that I was real touchy about being touched.

Thor’s bad habit of grabbing me by the arm to make me do what he wanted me to do drove me nuts. I’m just too big to appreciate having some guy be large and overpowering on purpose. It made me feel aggressive and defensive at the same time. But Thor didn’t just grab me by the arm this time; he pulled me to him in an embrace. It was still automatic for me to start struggling.

“Stop that!” he said squeezing me. “I don’t want to hurt your arm.”

“Then let me go!”

“I want to but I can’t. I said stop wiggling. You make me feel like a cat after a mouse … and I’m having problems not enjoying that.”

“Wha …” I never got to finish what I was going to say. Frankly I can’t remember what I had been going to say to begin with because suddenly he was just there, in my face.

He sounded like he was doing some struggling of his own. “I keep trying to tell myself you’re too young, but it isn’t working. I keep trying to tell myself that I have no business wanting you.” He came even closer. “Unfortunately for both of us I don’t seem to be listening real well.”

I’d been kissed before. Once by a guy in school that was trying to prove that I didn’t belong on the football team because I was “just a girl” … I left him on the ground, holding his tenderbits between the locker rooms where he’d caught me. Then there were Jonathon’s tentative and gentle attempts. Getting kissed by a man … a real man … was a completely different kettle of fish.

He wasn’t rough. He didn’t try to overpower me. What I got was a glimpse at why some people get stupid and mistake sex for love. I finally understood what physical temptation was.

He let go but didn’t step back. “What are you doing to me?” he asked in a husky whisper.

Breathless and a little shaky I answered, “I have absolutely no idea. And how did this wind up being my fault all of a sudden?”

“Rochelle … give me time to figure this out. I’m not going to stand by while you take all of the risk and just walk way.”

I pushed off of him, “Don’t even think about it. I can’t believe you’d try something like this. Have I ever given you the impression that I’m the kind of girl that can be manipulated with sex?! Why would you …”

“What?! No! Rochelle look at me. Two completely and totally separate issues here.”

“Yeah right. Like I’m supposed to believe that,” I told him.

“Yes, you are. I’m not some boy that doesn’t know the real deal from a play thing. And I want … look at me Rochelle … I want to take the time to show you what I mean but we have to prioritize here.” He stepped back into my space again but the only thing he touched me with were his eyes. “How anyone cannot see you’re a woman … they have to be blind. Thank God for that.”

“Excuse me?” I was flabbergasted. Not even Dad had ever phrased it like that.

He stepped away from me and ran his hand through his already messy mop of hair. While I’d done my best to keep my hair neat, short, and boyish the men had actually let their hair grow every which way, some had gone so far as to stop shaving all together assuming they had the kind of beard that didn’t grow out looking thin and stringy. “I’ll go into it when the time’s appropriate. Right now we need to focus on the most immediate problem at hand. If more of those greenies are coming we need to know when and how many, then we need to prepare some type of defense.”

“And how exactly are we supposed to find that out? Go up and ask them? Yeah sure, that’ll work.” I laughed at the absurdity of it.

Thor got a serious look on his face. “Let the men do their job Kid. They’re very good at it.”

First I noticed he’d stopped calling me Rochelle and that usually meant he was putting some distance between us, but I didn’t miss his message either.

“Is this what you did? Before? Out … out there?” I waved my hand around indicating simply away since I wasn’t sure where they’d worked beyond the few locations Evans had mentioned.

“Not often. You’d be surprised how easy it is to bribe most people. Every chain has a weakest link. But yes, on occasion we … we used violence as well as other techniques to acquire information. But unlike how they always made it seem in the media or on those idiot TV shows, the violence wasn’t indiscriminate and it was only when we had no other options left at our disposal.”

Well at least he was being honest. It bothered me but I wouldn’t judge him or the other men because I didn’t know and hadn’t been there. Instead I said, “Well … um … as long as you’re … er … asking questions, ask ‘em how they knew to come here. Seems to be a weird place for a rendezvous. I sure as heck haven’t seen any working radios.”

Thor nodded. “There were some. Problem is that with the multiple catastrophes that hit in such a short period of time that even if the EMP effect didn’t get the equipment, the germs and violence may have gotten the owners. Any still viable radios are probably so few and far between that you wouldn’t just accidentally run up on them and the owners would certainly keep their existence a secret; more so than if they had a horde of gold. As far as the other, it’s on the list. I suspect though that it may have something to do with the river. We’re practically on top of the Missouri. They could have sent a runner to a predetermined location or locations to leave messages …”

“Or …,” broke in Alfonso who had come in looking grim. “They could have just run into another group accidentally who sent back their own runners to a couple of other groups they knew of.”

“How bad do you make it?” Thor asked him.

“Bad, but not insurmountable. They’ve been coming in in just twos and threes up to this point. The primary group brought in by Chuckri’s ex so far has had the only real leaders in it. Rocky …” here he stumbled, flashing me a brief look out of the corner of his eyes “… was right. There are five real toughs but of those only two didn’t break or brag during interrogation.”

I couldn’t help it. I said, “That was quick.”

“Most of ‘em are weak, the rest like to talk and show how superior they are. That’s how we separated the wolves from the sheep.”

Alfonso turned his shoulder to me, obviously uncomfortable. When he started talking to Thor it was also obvious that I wasn’t included. I decided to go check on Evans again but as I was walking out I had to know. “How big a threat am I? I mean just how hacked about me being around are they?”

When his discomfort turned into a defensive wall I said, “That bad huh?” I looked at Thor and turned away when he opened his mouth on something I refused to give him a chance to say. Instead as I walked away I told him, “Make whatever plans you want but I won’t add to the danger these people are already in from these lunatics.”

I spent the next few hours sitting with Evans who came in and out of consciousness; sometimes he was clear headed, most of the time not. It was Elsapet that gave me even more to worry about.

“Your friend, he is quite ill.” It sounded even more ominous coming as it did in a cultured voice that was comfortable using very proper grammar.

“Have you got any idea what this could be?” I asked her, afraid of her answer.

“I suspect but without tests I cannot be sure.”

I looked at her then just shook my head in defeat. “When a doctor stops like they’re afraid they’ve given you too much information even before they’ve said virtually anything at all you know it’s bad.”

She sighed. “You must understand, I am a researcher not a clinician. I cannot prove what I suspect.”

“Tell me anyway.”

In a gentle but detached voice she told me of Richards’ concerns regarding the head injuries that Evans suffered at the hands of the gamblers. Subsequent injuries only added to the damage caused by the original injury.

“I could give you the correct medical terminology but it would not help your feelings any. Repeated concussions, even mild ones, can lead to a total effect of a single traumatic brain injury. It could also be either an epidural or subdural hematoma on the brain, most likely subdural given his symptoms and how they’ve progressively gotten worse; it could even be an intracerebral hemorrhage. We have no way of knowing without the proper equipment.” She gave a delicate shrug, not in indifference but in mild helplessness at being unable to provide a better diagnosis.

“What can we do?”

“I am unsure that anything can be done at this point beyond what is already being done. All of the conditions I mentioned usually require emergency surgery; we simply do not have the skill or facilities to do this. Even if I am wrong it is obvious he has suffered some type of brain injury, perhaps a significant one. Only time will tell what the long term effects are going to be; or … or if the effects will prove fatal.”

I was angry. “So we just sit around and wait? Do nothing?”

A warm male voice said, “There is always prayer.” I turned to see Chuckri’s Uncle Pedros limping towards us. It was obvious that he’d been roughed up at least once in the last few months. Another man, older than Chuckri but looking much like him, also stood there. That had to have been Ludvig Chuckri.

My mouth got ahead of me again. “What? Did your parents have you, like the way you looked and just stuck you in copy machine whenever they wanted another son?”

Ludvig and Pedros both smiled, “Tovmas was right. You are very much a match for Pilbos.”

Evans moaned softly and what little warmth their smiles had brought was gone in an instance. I knelt back beside him but he didn’t wake up. Pedros said, “We should pray that God’s Will be done.”

I was raised to be respectful to my elders and that was the only thing that kept me from telling him that God’s Will could cause just as much pain as doing nothing. No amount of praying had saved Jonathon or his grandmother; no amount had changed the fact that my parents were dead.

Pedros must have read it on my face. He said, “Child, God’s Will is always best even when we don’t understand His whole purpose.”

“Yes sir,” I answered to be polite.

“Ah but do you truly believe that?” he asked me.

I sighed, “I want to. I’m just not sure I do. What about all of the choices and actions bad people make? Those can’t be in God’s Will. Those crazy people out there don’t even believe in Him. They think it is some Goddess, or maybe the earth itself, that will save them. How can they be in God’s Will?”

“God’s Will always conquers what tries to do battle with Him. God may even choose at times to use the actions of the evil to further His Will.”

I shook my head, “I heard that riddle growing up. It always drove me crazy.”

He smiled. “All things work to the good of those that love the Lord. It is faith child. I spent a lifetime constantly trying to solve what you call that riddle. But in the end it always came back to faith. Sometimes we simply have to trust even when we don’t understand.”

I guess the question was whether I had enough faith. I wanted to say I was sure that I did but I wasn’t … sure that is. I did know I didn’t want to sink to the depths that Evans had fallen when his little girl had died. I knew that my parents would expect more and better of me than that. But good intentions aside, I wondered if I was truly strong enough to face what was coming.
 

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 30

That night I slept on the floor beside the sofa that Evans was laid out in. He woke in the middle of the night, sort of himself, but was very flustered to find me on the floor. In the end though he had no choice but to let me all but carry him to take care of some necessary functions. He was nearly in tears of shame by the time I helped him back to his bed.

I asked him why he was so upset. “I’m a man Kid. I’ve got to be able to stand on my own two feet.”

“OK, I get that but … but we watch each other’s backs and we take care of each other. At least I thought that was how it worked. Right … that is how it works? I mean, if it was me that needed help you’d give it to me right? You wouldn’t just leave me there until I really started to suffer?”

“Aw, stop yer tears. You done turned into a real girl all right. But don’t be telling the other men, you hear. A man has his pride.”

“Well sure. This is just between us. I sure wouldn’t want you to blab all over the place about how big a crybaby I can be. But we can be real when it is just the two of us and not just the us that we want other people to see.”

“Humph, definitely turning female. Yer using that inside out logic. Now behave and let me get some sleep Annie, got a long day ahead of me tomorrow. Rent’s due and groceries are getting expensive.” He fell asleep with a light snore leaving me to really shed some tears. I truly didn’t mind him calling me Annie but I worried at what it meant.

The next morning when I rolled over my first thought was that I would have given a whole lot not to have regained consciousness for a while, or even that an amputation sounded pretty good at that moment. Checking I saw that Evans was still out so I crawled over to the door frame and used my good arm to pull myself up. The sky was barely showing the first sign of pre-dawn light. I tried to be as careful as I could as I left the house and headed toward the wagon in search of the headache pills stashed in the pocket of my backpack.

Most people think big people can’t move quickly or quietly; they think we must blunder around like the giants in the fairytales. “Most people” are mistaken about that they same way they usually are. Just like anything else it depends on the effort put into it. I always tried to avoid drawing attention to myself and that morning was no exception, despite feeling dull and clumsy from the pain. I was edging through some shadows when something caught my attention just at the extreme periphery of my vision. I ducked behind a tree and then was shocked to see that crazy woman from the greenies sneaking towards the house … with something in her hand.

My pain forgotten in the adrenaline rush of the moment, I went into hunt and attack mode. I pulled my bowie and rain straight at her but not fast enough to stop her from lighting the Molotov cocktail and throwing it into the house via the back door. I added a furious burst of speed wince caution was no longer necessary. I flattened her and … and put a period to yet another rabid and dangerous animal. Then at the top of my voice I yelled, “Fire!! Fire in the house!!” as I ran inside to do what I could.

Vaguely I heard screaming and gunfire from several different directions. The Molotov cocktail had sprayed fuel over a lot of flammable items. I was most worried at the flames licking at the foot of the steep, narrow steps that led to the floor where most of the bedrooms were located. No sooner had I managed to stomp those out than the flames had spread behind me. Booted feet were on the front porch pulling people out. I was just able to get through the flames and into Pedros’ study. The smoke was already thick and dark.

I picked up Evans who was struggling to rise and turned only to find my way blocked. I kicked the door of the study shut on the flames trying to buy some time. Then I ran over to one of the room’s two windows and simply started kicking it out of its frame.

I was coughing and gagging and my lungs felt like they were shredding. But then there were hands reaching through the window frame and taking Evans from me. As soon as his feet were clear there was some kind of explosion in the basement of the house that made the floor I stood on jump. I fell to the ground and then watched as a large, heavy bookcase toppled over closing off the window I had just put Evans out.

The smoke was thicker and heavier in minutes and I could barely see. I created this weird effect that had me totally turned around in the unfamiliar surroundings. I crawled around but knew I didn’t have long as the floor was hot beneath my hands. Suddenly there was a glint in the darkness and I crawled towards it. It was an old and ornate wooden box and it lay on the floor right beneath the other window.

I tried to break the window but it was made of Plexiglass and my strength was waning. Finally in desperation I picked the box up and used it to break the window. I could feel a woosh behind me as fresh air acted like fuel on the fire behind me. I leaned out the window trying to get out without slicing myself open. I felt myself falling but large, powerful arms lifted me up and over the shards and then carried me as if I weighed nothing, or so it seemed, well away from the burning building. I don’t even remember Thor putting me down.

The next time I woke it was to the smell of smoke and the sound of quietly anxious voices.

“Who’s going to tell her when she wakes up?”

“Not me. I … I don’t want it to be a case of killing the messenger. Who knows what she can do? You heard what them people said.”

“Shut up the both of you and stop being idiots. Thor will tell her and if I catch you talking like that again you aren’t going to like what happens.”

I finally got some sound passed my lips but it was barely a croak. I tried again and just coughed. My eyes were watery too but I saw Richards point at Alfonso who took off in a run. I tried to sit up. It seemed if I didn’t sit up I was going to suffocate.

“Easy now,” Richards warned.

Then Thor’s voice was there asking Richards, “Is she OK?”

“She’s trying to clear her lungs. Keep an eye on her and let her sip some of that water. I’ve got to check on the kid.”

As Richards hurried to another clump of people I whispered, “I thought I was the Kid? Wait … the children …”

“The children are fine, just scared and in shock. Lean back,” he said while gently pulling me backwards … and I went, too tired to care whether it was appropriate or not. He chest felt sold and safe, like a bulwark.

I looked around and the destruction finally registered. The house and barn were both just gone, nothing but a foundation and a few blackened beams that stuck up at odd angles. Animals filled a small corral with a few older kids watching them. Further away was a haphazard pile that finally resolved itself into a pile of corpses. That made me jump.

“Easy.”

“Thor, that woman,” I coughed. “She did this. I tried to stop her …” I started hacking uncontrollably and was rudely reminded of my arm all over again.

“Yeah. I’ve got your bowie. And stop wiggling, it’s distracting. They had to … unwrap you … so you could breathe.”

Finally it wasn’t only my arm that was registering I let out an undignified squawk only realizing I was only dressed in someone else’s oversized shirt and little else. I grabbed for the sheet that covered me and when I pulled it up, my bare feet appeared at the other end. I groaned as a completely irrelevant thought entered my head; the men weren’t the only ones who had foregone shaving for the last several months.

“Easy. Just be still. Everything’s covered and it is going to be OK.”

In contrast I felt Thor shaking like a leaf.

“What?”

“Shhh. You’re here. You’re alright.”

I told him, “I know that. But what’s wrong?! Something’s wrong, I can tell.”

He growled into my ear, “You almost weren’t here. I could have lost you.”

That really did take my breath away completely for a few moments. It awoke a strange awareness in me that helped me feel the emotions literally coming off of him in waves.

“Rochelle …”

“I’m OK. Maybe a little crispy around the edges but … wait … is anyone else injure?” I asked suddenly upset at myself for not asking sooner.

After hesitating briefly, as if he was debating on what to tell me he said, “Barkely and that kid Pilbos. Chuckri’s little girl is banged up.”

“What?!” I tried to say only to start hacking again.

“Am I going to have to tie you down to keep you from wiggling?”

I coughed and coughed again. Thor held a canteen to my lips so that I could sip some cool water. After I was able to breathe without sounding like I swallowed the beach, sand and all, I said, “Just tell me.”

Thor put his hand on my forehead and then pulled my head back against his shoulder and eased into a different position that was more comfortable for both of us. “Chuckri’s ex tricked their little girl into bringing them a knife and a pair of pliers which they used to escape. First they overpowered Barkley and then beat down Pilbos. Barkley has a goose egg and some bruised ribs. Pilbos’ mouth earned him some harsher treatment and his eyes are swollen shut, his nose is broken, and they’ve banged him up pretty good in a few other places. The worst is a stab wound in his … er … hip. Nothing major hit but you can imagine it smarts. At some point the leadership blamed Linda for their problems and according to the little girl she was ‘sacrificed as a blood offering’ to rebalance things. The kid is hysterical but it’d be pretty hard for a child her age to make up the words she was repeating. After that point things moved fast and chaotic. They hit the house first and that’s when you raised the alarm. Then they hit the barn. Then we hit them. If you hadn’t given us a warning when you did things could have turned out much differently.”

“Did everyone get out of the house?”

His arms tightened painfully around me. “Yes. Thank God yes.”

“Where’s Evans?” I asked looking around in the nearly too bright noonday sun.

If possible Thor’s arms tightened even more.

“Thor?” I asked beginning to become worried, both by his actions and because I couldn’t see where they’d laid him.

“Rochelle …”

“No.”

He laid his head next to mine and then started rocking us both in what was supposed to be a soothing rhythm. “Listen to me. I know this is going to be hard, but listen. He’s had some kind of stroke or something. Elsapet and Richards promise me he’s not in any kind of pain. When he is conscious he’s … not all there. They say it will be a day, two at most. There’s just nothing else that can be done.”

“No.”

He continued to rock us both while the reality of his words finally reached my soul.

“I have to see him. I promised him we were buddies, that we’d watch … watch … watch each other’s backs. I should have gotten him out first. I should have …”

“Shhhhh. Rochelle there was nothing you could have done. Richards told me a couple of days ago that he was worried that something was nearing the tipping point with Evans. That some point of no return had been reached with his last injury. Evans knew it too and Richards will talk to you about that later, when you’re ready.”

“I still have to … to do something for him Thor. He’d do the same for me. I know he would.”

“All right. I’m going to carry you over …”

“I can walk,” I told him.

“Maybe you can but I need to carry you.”

“Thor I weigh a ton and you have to be exhausted. Just tell me where my clothes are …”

“The ones you were wearing were toast, even the boots. The souls had partially melted on them.” He shuddered and I was again the subject of a nearly painful hug, as if he had to make sure that I was really there. I realized that this man really and truly had strong feelings for me and then remembered how I’d felt when they’d carried Thor into the warehouse.

I turned and looked at him. “This is crazy. You don’t even know me. Do I even know you? How is it possible to feel this way for so long and not even realize it? I don’t understand. I had these plans and now … the greenies … and all of this. I … I …”

“Shhhhh. Easy. There’s time. Don’t get scared and run off … promise me that Rochelle. You have to promise me that. We’ll get this figured out. I’m not going to jump all over you and force you into anything. Just give me a chance.”

I looked at him and didn’t know what to say. “I … I want some clothes. I can’t think like this. And then … and then I’m going to … going to sit with Evans.”

“And you won’t run off.”

I looked at him again and finally said, “I won’t run off. Just … don’t ask me for …”

“I’m not asking you anything except to not run off, not until we have some time to figure this out. It … Rochelle … I want you to stay with me. Don’t leave because of the greenies. I need you here.”

My head felt like it was a spinning top reaching maximum overload. I kept trying to say something but I didn’t know what and nothing would come out anyway.

“I don’t just need you because I want you Rochelle, I need you … we all need you … because we’re going to have to all pull together. Pedros has said that the family had already intended to evacuate to a more hospitable area because of the winters here along the river are very bad. The greenies were the roadblock to that but now that they’ve been … eliminated … the plan is back on and Chuckri plans on staying with his family. We’ve got some logistical issues to work out, some planning … it will take at least a day. Rochelle …”

I sighed, “What you’re trying to say is that we’ll be here until Evans … until he … until …” I couldn’t finish the sentence.

Thor ran a work roughened had through what hair I’d left myself. “Yes. Until then.”

I was silent for a moment, “Just let me sit with him for a while Thor. I’ll … I’ll do my duty. And … and I’ll stay with you too … until we figure whatever this is out. But … but I can’t think much beyond right now. I know I should, I know I need to, but …”

He rocked me for another moment. “I’m right here. Evans was my friend too … for a lot of years. He trained me, kept me from getting killed countless times until I was hardened enough I didn’t need a wet nurse to babysit me. He was the old man of the crew after the others died and he took his job serious. He wouldn’t be able to stand being in this condition Rochelle. He had a lot of pride. Even when he took a bad drunk he preferred to call a cab than call one of us. He was tough as old shoe leather but you found the one soft spot he had left. You sit with him all you need to, do it for all of us. That way we’ll know he has someone close at all times that cares. OK?”

I nodded, the tears beginning to run down my cheeks. I didn’t know how I was going to do this. The greenies had taken one more thing from me. Or maybe it was that my presence had put them all in danger that they would not have been if I hadn’t been around. I began to worry that maybe it was me … just living and breathing … that had pushed the crazy woman over the edge into being a sociopath. Would she have done it if she hadn’t thought I was in the house?

Thor helped me to stand. I was a lot more wobbly than I expected but I refused to be carried. I was going to walk under my own steam. As much as I wanted to lean on Thor I had a feeling that I needed, more than ever, to be able to face what was coming and to do it standing up on my own two feet. Something was coming. I didn’t know what exactly, but I was pretty sure that the fire we’d just gone through wouldn’t be the last one I had to face.
 

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 31

The rest of the day passed in a blur of disconnected scenes. When I wasn’t watching Evans I was apparently consigned to be the entertainment director for the SS Pilbos.

Sometimes Evans would try to speak but really not make any sense. I could tell he was in the here and now despite his closed eyes because I felt him squeeze my hand to get my attention. When he wanted something we’d play twenty questions with him squeezing my hand when I got close to what he wanted. When he made sense I knew he was not really there, at least not mentally. It was also the only time he seemed to open his eyes and I could tell he was watching a scene in his head, past or imagined, by the way his eyes moved and focused on things that weren’t really there. His periods of true wakefulness became fewer and fewer and the strength of his hand squeezes diminished as the sun went down.

Between Evans’ moments of lucidity and disconnect, Pilbos took up the rest of my time. I think if my mother had been there she would have laughed her head off and told me I was getting my just rewards. I would never admit it to another living soul but it was like looking at a male version of myself as I was a couple of years earlier. He was a nice kid and likeable in a I[m-going-to-have-to-kill-him-if-he-doesn’t-shut-up kind of way but I’d have been a lot happier to have dealt with him in smaller doses.

I also finally met some of the other women as they came in and out checking on him. Chuckri’s mother was also named Vika, like her granddaughter, though I could never bring myself to call her anything else but Mrs. Chuckri. Ludvig’s wife’s was named Joan, she wasn’t Armenian but apparently it was no scandal. Elsapet was the eldest sister of the clan. The other sisters were Anoush, Markrid, and Shoushan. Anoush’s son was the cousin that had been killed, Markrid’s husband had been an immigrant that could never acclimate to the US and left her to return to his homeland, and Shoushan’s fiancé had been a pilot whose plane fell from the sky the night of the EMP. Bedros’ wife was a tiny woman named Ani who preferred to be her husband’s shadow. Ani was Mrs. Chuckri’s sister and apparently it was a case of sisters marrying brothers. All of them seemed to have some sorrow that had hardened them but not hardened their hearts.

The matriarch of the clan was Bedros’ mother. She was even smaller than Ani and seemed ancient but one look at her face and you could see where Bedros got his presence from. I don’t think I ever heard the woman mutter more than a few words but she could send everyone running with only a glance. She wasn’t scary she just … she just seemed more there than most people did. Lines of suffering etched her face but instead of making her look sad or forbidding, it gave her power and character. It was a word from her, must have been in Armenian because I didn’t understand what she said, that finally shut Pilbos up.

Evans jumped awake a moment later. “Huh?! What?! Why’s it so quiet?” Of course it came out all garbled but I understood what he meant.

“Easy,” I told him trying not to laugh. “Everything is OK.” But then I had to explain what had happened. He fell back asleep with what looked like a half-smile on his face.

That was the last time for hours that he made a sound. He barely even moved. I slept by his side but it didn’t seem to register with him, at least not that I could tell. Sometime in the dark of the night I woke to find myself in Thor’s arms.

I jumped and tried to pull away but he held me fast. “Now why’d you want to do that? I was having such a good dream,” he murmured quietly so as not to wake up anyone.

“What … wha … is that my tarp?” I asked finally noticing that I couldn’t see anything above me.

“Yeah. I pulled it out to keep the dew off of us. The older folks are in the guest cabin and everyone else is spread out between here and there. You worried me when you didn’t even move as I put it up. You … you better now?”

“Thor … I … I’m not sure this is … OK, this is going to sound stupid after all the things I’ve done but I’m not sure this is exactly proper.”

“Ask me if I care. I’ve had to put up with listening to that kid flirt with you all afternoon.”

“Flirt? We were talking about football most of the time.”

“Yeah, he was trying to prove you two had a lot in common. You should have heard him when you went to grab some fish that Soghomon and Tovmas brought in and cooked. ‘I want me one of those.’ @#$% annoying kid.”

“Then just shoot me now and put me out of my misery. On second thought, maybe you should just run because if I’m like him you’ll be insane in short order.”

I must have surprised him because he suddenly got still and then he moved around getting more comfortable and then folded me up close to him again. I could feel his smile in my hair. “Is that right? If I had known you needed rescuing …”

“I didn’t need rescuing. I needed ear plugs. He’s nice enough but really, if I’m like that I wonder that you even imagined that you might … um …” I was embarrassed.

“That I might? Might what?”

“Never mind,” I asked refusing to sound as silly as I felt.

“Well, listen here Rochelle Charbonneau, there’s no might about how I feel. I know I promised not to push you but cut me some slack here. I thought you liked all of that flirting that kid was doing.”

“Well, if I had known that’s what he was doing I would have told him to stop. No one has ever flirted with me before, pardon me for not recognizing it.”

“I find that hard to believe.” Thor was turning into a real distraction. His hands kept wandering. They didn’t go where they weren’t supposed to but he still managed to make me feel like I might not mind it if they did.

“OK, stop that and behave,” I told him.

“I’m not doing anything wrong,” he said, adding a wicked chuckle that chuffed air in the general direction of my ear giving me the shivers.

“See, that’s what I’m talking about. If you don’t stop I’m going to get up. You’re turning me upside down.”

“Then I’m not doing good enough. My goal is to turn you inside out.”

“Argh,” I said as I tried to wiggle free.

“That’s not a good idea. Remember what I told you that your wiggling makes me feel?” he said in this intensely husky voice.

“Yeah, well in case you haven’t noticed I’m too big to be a mouse. I’m serious Thor, I’ve never played in the deep end of the pool before. I don’t know these games and … and things are too messed up for me to know whether you’re serious or not. I mean I know you’re serious about saying you … you like me and all … and I guess … OK I guess I feel things for you too … but this other stuff … uh uh … I’m not sure how serious I’m supposed to take this or if it is some kind of game. And either way … I … I …”

He was suddenly serious and pulled me close again. “I keep forgetting how young you are. Hit me with a rock the next time.”

“So … there’ll be a next time?” I asked, playing with fire just a little bit to learn how to do it.

“Lots of next times,” he said and then it was my turn to smile.

Then it was like all of the silly just went out of both of us. “Thor, can I ask what the plans are? I … I feel so out of everything?”

He ran his hand through my hair. “Have you always had short hair?”

His question was no answer but I told him anyway. “No. Actually I’ve always had long hair. I didn’t cut it until I decided to try and be a boy. It was one long braid. Believe it or not I used to be able to sit on it.”

“I wish I could have seen that,” he said playing with the curls that were starting to form near my ears.

“Stick around long enough and you will. My hair grows really fast, like the rest of me. Now that I don’t have to keep it short I’m not going to bother anymore. It’s a pain to have to keep trimming it all the time.”

“Stick around?”

I realized then what I had said. “Oh … oh I didn’t mean to … um …”

“Could you stand me being around … long enough?”

I could feel myself go hot all over. Unsure exactly how to answer him I said, “I’m not the kind of girl that would just … um … cuddle up with just anyone. In fact … I’ve done it exactly … um … never. So … you know … you can take that and … and think about it.”

He paused, “No one? Not even … Jonathon?”

I sighed, “Jonathon was my best friend. We did a life time of stuff together. He seemed to think we should … er … add another layer to that but … but I was less … certain. I just wasn’t ready to lose my best friend over it. But of all the things we did … cuddling wasn’t one of them.”

He was quiet and I was about to ask him my question again when he said, “I’m going to get you a big stick. Something like a club.”

I was wondering if I’d missed a whole conversation in there some place. “Huh?”

“My skull’s thick. You’re going to have to beat me off with a stick.”

“O … kay?”

He kissed my forehead. “Rochelle, I don’t mean to rush you so if or when you need me to slow down tell me. I can wait. I plan on being around to see your hair get as long as you claim it does. I plan on a lot of things. And I’m a patient man. So just tell me. But don’t shut me out. Or run. We’ll work everything else out to our … mutual satisfaction.”

I swear that man is lethal in more ways than one. I may have been inexperienced but I wasn’t stupid. The way he talked made me feel like a moth and he was a bug light. I wondered briefly if the bugs felt any pain when they got zapped as I turned and kissed Thor somewhere between his whiskery chin and his mouth.

He didn’t need much encouragement but then it was his turn to sit up gasping for air. “Ok … you sit there and I think I better go get some air.”

“But you didn’t tell me about what the plans are,” I complained mildly, secretly pleased to find that he wasn’t the only one with some power to stir things up between us.

I could feel him looking at me in the dark and trying to decide just how far he could stretch his will power. “Humph. I guess I did kind of get distracted.” However, rather than us lying back down we sat up to talk. It seemed the safer thing to do for both of us.

“Ludvig and Joan own some property in western Kentucky. It already has quite a few improvements to it, including an old house that is dried in although it was used as a storage building by the previous owner who lived in a trailer on the land. It’s eighty acres; half of it fields with the remainder in woodlot, orchard, large animal barns, a couple of old tobacco barns, and I stopped listening after that. When they bought the property they went out of their way to get to know their neighbors and to take care of the fence line and their part of the road maintenance first so they don’t expect any troubles moving their full time, assuming they’ve got any neighbors left. The family has agreed to move there. The winters are milder and the growing season longer than what they’ve got in this part of Missouri.”

“So, the crew is going to help them get there?”

“That’s the general idea. Get them there and then help prepare for the winter. It’s only the beginning of July but that doesn’t leave much time.”

I was silent, thinking again of home. Things were turning a lot more complicated than I had ever expected them to. I told him, “That’s a lot of miles. How are we going to manage to move this many people?”

“We?”

I stiffened. “I … I …”

“Because if you really meant ‘we’ and weren’t just saying it because I wanted to hear you say it, I’d be a very happy man.”

I swallowed, “I … guess I meant it.”

“You guess?” he asked getting tense himself.

“Thor, can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” he answered though he really didn’t sound sure.

“Do you have a home someplace? I mean, you keep talking about helping Chuckri’s family but I’ve never heard you say anything about a place of your own.” And suddenly a thought struck me. “I don’t even know what your real name is.”

He reached over in the dark and though we didn’t lay back down he pulled me towards him so that my back was against his chest. After a moment that left me wondering if he was going to answer me he said, “Thoresen … Gunnar Thoresen … but I haven’t been called anything but Thor in years.”

“Um … Gunnar?” The name just didn’t fit him as far as I could tell.

“Yeah, my father was the only one that ever called me that though. Mom called me Erik, my middle name which was also her father’s name. Neither name has anything to do with who I am today. I’d really prefer if you just continued to call me Thor.”

“About the way that I asked you to call me Rocky?” I asked.

“OK, I deserved that. But I doubt I would even think to answer you if you call me anything but Thor. You answered when I called you Rochelle.” I felt the smile against my ear.

“Ha ha. What about … you know … family, home, relatives?”

“Anyone that ever meant anything to me or cared is gone. Home disappeared even before that. I’ve got a storage shed full of gear outside of Clarksville, Tennessee but nothing that I can’t live without if it’s gone.”

“Oh.”

After a moment of silence he asked, “Now can I ask why you were asking?”

I sighed. “I so do not want to mess things up. Thor, I … I can’t stay with Chuckri’s family. I need to go home. I just … I just need to. And I want to do it before winter sets in.” I hunched my shoulders waiting for him to tell me all of the reasons why it was a stupid idea or impossible.

“We worked a map up. It’s going to take a good five hundred and fifty miles to get Chuckri’s family where they are going. I can’t say how much further it would be from there to your home because you’ve never told me where it is.”

I tried to listen for Evans’ breathing in the dark. It was still there but sounded a little more labored than it had earlier in the day. “Evans said he would come with me but now look at him. What if I ask you to come with me and something then happens to you?”

He was quiet and then said, “You don’t think … tell me you don’t think Evans’ injuries are some … some kind of jinx.”

I sighed. “When you say it like that it sounds stupid.”

“It is.”

“Thor …”

“As I recall the story you saved Evans from those gamblers that did him the injury that put him here.”

“But the greenies …”

Impatience entered his voice. “You’re being ridiculous. Those people are crazy and if they weren’t looking for one excuse they’d start looking for another.”

“I’ve heard so much …”

His shaking head brushed his chin against my ear. “Listen to me. People like that … that’s what they want. They want to … to demoralize whatever target they’ve chosen as enemy. They want to leave a lasting impression that makes them seem better, stronger, smarter and more than everyone else. But they aren’t. They’re just fanatics and that’s all they are. They don’t have super powers and neither do you.”

I tried to explain, “I’m a GWB ...”

“And I’m a pain in the @#$. Those people were a whole ‘nother level of crazy but their insanity isn’t your fault.”

“Lord I want you to be right. It just seems that my whole life they’ve always been waiting to finish the job they started before we were all born. They also attacked anyone associated with us. And if it wasn’t the greenies directly it was other people that bought into their lies about us and what we were. You should have heard some of the rumors about us that were eventually traced back to them. They … or their mindset … were everywhere.”

“Rochelle, listen to me. The GWBs aren’t the only bad things the greenies have done. They aren’t the only group of people they attacked or tried to manipulate. They aren’t the only cause they ever had. The umbrella organization ran from cause to cause. The only thing consistent about them was how inconsistent they were. They did a horrible thing to you … and others … but the more power you give them, the more you make yourself a victim, the more the balance gets tipped in their favor. Frankly it wasn’t until they got mixed up with the Twelvers that had access to the kind of organization and control that could pull off some of the things they did. Try and remember that and not take everything so personally.”

He sounded like my dad the few times I’d spoken of my fears growing up. That had to be a good thing.

“I’ll … I’ll try. Mostly I think because I want to believe your version of history.” Neither one of us said anything and I grew nearly too sleepy to open my eyes but I had one last question. “Thor?”

“Hmm?” he asked sounding as tired as I felt.

“Would you … would you come with me? To see if my home is still there? If it is … it’s a good place to live.”

I felt him smile against my ear again as he gently lay back so that we could go back to sleep. “I thought you’d never ask.”

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 32

When I awoke at dawn that morning I was alone, but a light jacket I’d seen Thor wear before was draped over me. I knew he was being nice by leaving it over me but it also felt like he was staking a public claim; strangely enough that didn’t bother me one bit. Thor had agreed to come home with me and for a brief moment the future seemed full of endless possibilities.

But as Evans made a slight noise all of my elation disappeared in a rush of embarrassment and shame. Here this man who had befriended me was struggling to stay in this world, and I was all but canoodling right beside his death bed. I immediately hurried away to get myself awake and then returned to find Richards in my place.

“I was just washing up,” I hurriedly said.

“Relax Rocky. Or do you want to be called Rochelle now?”

“Rocky … please. It’s weird enough hearing Thor call me something I usually only heard when I was in some hot water. Having everyone call me that would be too much.”

He grinned, “Try having your mother scream ‘Ralph Royson Richards!’ down the block a few times.”

“Pardon me but you don’t look like a Ralph,” I told him, relieved that he didn’t seem to be judging me.

He shook his head ruefully. “I’ve never been fond of the name. It was my maternal grandfather’s name. Not to mention too many people tried to call me Little Ralph or Ralphie when I was a kid.”

“Ooo, you have my sympathies all right,” I said in mock pity.

Richards smiled, then became more serious with a sigh. “Rocky, when’s the last time Evans was conscious.”

“Late yesterday, right before it turned full dark. I … I checked on him in the middle of the night but he was sleeping.”

He was very quiet before telling me, “I … I don’t think he’ll last out the day. His autonomic and somatic reflexes are failing. I think his kidneys have already failed and his other organs will rapidly follow.” He shook his head. “I’d give anything if I could make this easier on him, better yet that it never had to happen in the first place.”

I was having a hard time not feeling overwhelmed at what I know was bound to happen. “Thor said you were going to talk to me … about Evans.”

“Yeah. I’d planned to give you some time but it might be better to just go ahead and tell you. Evans knew something was wrong. It had concerned him since his rescue but he kept it to himself until he couldn’t hide it anymore. The mess back in Topeka really spelled it out for him and he finally came to me. He’d planned on talking to you as well but … time just ran out.” I was trying very hard not to cry at that point. “Look Kid, he really liked you. He’d even started a letter to you but he never finished it. It’s in his gear but I wouldn’t recommend reading it right now. You’ve got enough on your plate.”

I finally mastered my emotions and then sat up straighter. “You’re sure he isn’t in any pain? Thor said that’s what you told him.”

“No, I don’t think he is any pain. We’d probably know if he was because that’s one of the more primitive reflexes and one of the last to go.” After a moment he said, “You and Thor are getting pretty close.”

I must have blushed because he smiled, “Good for you. Good for both of you. Something worthwhile has to come out of this mess.”

I asked him, “Are the men … are they … are they talking about it? I don’t want to get Thor in trouble.”

“Listen Kid, I’ve known Thor for a long time and I’ve never seen him like this. Whatever it is, the two of you work it out and you stop worrying about what other people say.”

“Which tells me more than it doesn’t.”

Richards shrugged. “What do you expect? To find out that someone could fool them for as long and as well as you did and then to find out that it was about your gender … that’s a lot for them to swallow. It’s easier for some to swallow than for others.”

Remembering what I’d heard the previous day I said, “Alfonso …”

“Kid, they’ll get over it, all of them. Give them time. Montgomery is already acting like it was a fantastic prank that he plans to tell his grandkids about. He and Barkley will bring Alfonso around.”

“What about Chuckri?” I asked.

“Chuckri’s got bigger problems right now. You aren’t the center of the universe that everything and everyone revolves around,” he told me with a wry look on his face.

The last nearly had me laughing despite everything that was happening which I think may have been his purpose of saying it. One of the reasons I liked Evans even in the beginning when I thought of him as foul and cranky is because I could count on him to be honest to a fault. I needed that. It used to be Jonathon, then it was Evans. Now it seemed that there were other people who would pop my bubble if I would just pay attention.

“Do you … I mean did Evans ever say anything? I … um … really didn’t figure things out until … well … the fire. I was afraid to think about it too much before then. But Evans would say things every once in a while. Make me think about Thor as more than just the boss.” I shrugged, afraid to show how important it was to me that Evans would approve.

“Evans? Yeah, and he’d nudge the two of you every once in a while. On the other hand, I suspect that mostly he didn’t think anyone was good enough for you and whenever Thor would do or say something that upset you Evans would then start meddling and needling to make Thor feel guilty about it.”

“Oh no. I …”

“You do get bent out of shape too easily. Stop it already before you have a breakdown and really need my services. Evans was being a friend … to both of you. But Evans also thought of you as a type of foster daughter. He obviously told you about Annie. I think you helped him to spend some of those pent up feelings he had about that.” He made to stand up. “I need to go give Elsapet a break. She’s been up most of the night with Vika, Chuckri’s little girl. She’s badly traumatized by all that has happened. I won’t be far though so call if you need something or if Evans noticeably worsens.”

About an hour later I was washing Evans’ face and hands. It seemed to soothe him. I kept up a quiet running dialogue just in case he knew I was there. A sound of nothing behind me brought me around fast. It was Mrs. Chuckri. She was wearing that Mona Lisa smile that made her seem so serene and was holding two bowls.

“You eat now. The men have all eaten so we eat now.” She handed me the bowl and a spoon and it would have been rude to refuse to eat while she was. It looked like mush but the first bite told me it was a sweetened cream of wheat type cereal.

“Khavits,” she said quietly.

“Excuse me?”

“The dish. It is called Khavits.”

“It’s very good. Thank you.”

“You are welcome. Tavit has told me some of your story.”

It was a blatant request, if a polite one, to fill her in so I told her leaving out the parts where I got into tussles with the men. Her raised eyebrow and knowing look told me that she was aware I’d left some facts out.

“This woman … this Delia … do you know much about her?” A more direct question this time and one that I expect any mother would have asked so I answered her with everything I knew. She seemed more at ease and then left to go to Pilbos who was calling for some attention.

Evans started mumbling incoherently again but it wasn’t like before; he was not delirious exactly but he wasn’t really there in his head either. It’s like his brain was misfiring. People would wander in and out of the tarp covered area but couldn’t or wouldn’t stay long. It was obviously hard for them to see their friend in the condition he was in; I’d already been through this before with my grandmother and understood a little of what was happening and why.

Richards came by and patted my arm then left again. Another hour passed and Elsapet came and did the same. Evans’ breathing started having a wet, gurgling sound to it so I propped him up a bit. I was wiping his face when I noticed his skin had started to get a bluish tinge to it. I turned to call Richards but out of nowhere Evans reached out and clamped a hand tightly over my wrist.

I’ll never forget what happened next. His eyes were open and seeing … really seeing … something. In a voice that barely registered above a whisper he said, “Look … look it’s all true … every last bit of it.” And then he said, “Annie.” But he wasn’t looking at me when he said it and I knew he wasn’t talking to me. An incredibly content smile appeared on his face … and then he was gone.

I don’t know, it was a while later I guess, someone must have said something to me and I didn’t respond. Then Richards was there and Thor. I guess the others were as well.

“Rochelle …” Thor said quietly.

“I’m … I’m all right. He’s … he’s gone. I … I think he saw Annie … he … he seemed to anyway.” My eyes were dry even though my chest and throat burned. “What … what do I do for him now?”

“You let us take care of that. I want you to go sit with Delia.”

“But …”

“Rochelle, we’re going to take care of this part.”

Somehow or other I was suddenly sitting under a walnut tree on the other side of the yard and Delia was sitting not too far away. I looked at her and said, “Really … I’m OK. I … I can …”

“Thor asked you to let them do this.”

Her tone of voice caused me to look at her. “You don’t really like me do you?”

She sighed, “You want me to lie to make you feel better? I don’t really want to make you feel worse, not now.”

“I prefer honesty.”

“OK … I don’t like you. You lied. You lied to all of us. I was right there, another female amongst all the men, you could have told me but you didn’t. How am I supposed to explain this to Trish and Mickey?”

“You shouldn’t have to. Trish figured it out within a day of me finding them. Mickey never seemed to care one way or the other.”

“What?” she asked shocked.

“Little kids are smart although Trish isn’t really all that little. She wanted to know why my voice sounded like a man but my words were the same thing her mother would have said. Good, logical question that I hadn’t even thought of.”

“She knew? All this time?” She sounded like her feelings were hurt a little.

“Yeah. It was always a lot harder for me to lie to some people than it was to others. I hated all of it but some of the people made me feel horrible. Then to find out that three of them knew, nearly from the beginning … Thor, Evans, Richards … and then there was Trish … even Nona back in Topeka knew without me having to tell her. It doesn’t make me seem like that much of an actress does it?” I was talking just to talk. It was easier than being quiet and having to let everything sink in. But Delia was done talking to me, I think she was shocked that Trish had known and she hadn’t.

We couldn’t afford to wait, there was no real chance to grieve, or prepare or anything. The bodies of the greenies had simply been burned in the remains of barn and then their ashes scattered along the railroad tracks. The ground was tough and hard on Bedros’ farm so they placed Evans’ … his corpse rather because I knew that Evans wasn’t really there any more … in a partially dug new root cellar and backfilled the hole with dirt and ashes from around the farm.

As the sun went down Bedros gave a grave side service. I could tell some of the men were uncomfortable but I think that Evans would have gotten a kick out of it. It wasn’t until everyone had filed away and Thor had been called to deal with some minor crisis that I finally felt the need to really cry and I didn’t intend on doing it where everyone would be able to stare at me. I wandered away onto the path that led down to the river and finally found a corner of privacy to let the wall fall down and my heart break in peace.

I jumped as something small suddenly rushed at me out of the bushes. “I hate you. This is all your fault. I hope you die.”

The absolute malice in the young voice horrified me. I looked up to see Chuckri’s daughter bearing down on me with a big stick. I was too shocked to move and she hit me a couple of times hard before I even registered the added pain.

“Geez, Vika …”

“Don’t you talk to me. You’re a monster, just like Momma said you were. You should have died not her! I hate you!! I hate you!! I hate you!!”

I could probably have taken the stick away from her but not necessarily without hurting her in the process. It wasn’t until she was about to use it as a spear that I did any more than bat it away when she swung it at me.

“Vika!” It was David that ran up and wrenched the stick from her. He pushed her back and she fell as he was calling, “Dad! I found her!!”

Chuckri came running while I held my sore arm. “What did you do?!” he bellowed at me.

Vika started crying, telling some tale how I’d been about to hurt her when David said, “Dad! Don’t … don’t listen to her. Rocky didn’t even take the stick away I did. Vika was the one hurting her not …”

Chuckri turned on me and said, “Look, now you’ve even got my son defending you. Can’t you just stop causing trouble?”

Then Thor charged up and I thought that he and Chuckri were going to come to blows and I’d finally had it.

“That’s enough!!” I yelled. “We just buried Evans! Isn’t that bad enough? Do the two of you have to go crazy on top of it?!” They both had the grace to look startled, especially as they both seemed to notice for the first time that I’d been crying. “You two have been together how many years and you are going to wait until now, barely hours after seeing one of your best friends go on to the next life, to turn on each other?”

Thor stepped towards me but I stepped back. “No. Thor, if I let myself fall apart now I might never be able to put the pieces back together.” Then I turned to Chuckri who was trying to listen to David and Vika at the same time. “Chuckri, I’d never use your daughter like your ex did. Vika’s just messed up after going through everything. She … she needs someone to blame and I guess I’m it. I won’t hold it against her, you, or anyone else for that matter.”

I wanted to be able to say something to make everything better but my supply of smart comebacks seemed to have all dried up. “Please don’t do this,” I begged. “Wait … I know … get Uncle Badros. He can fix this. I know he can.” I was grasping at straws but that seemed the most likely to fix what was happening.

The man in question suddenly appeared, having been out looking for Vika as well. “You embarrass me child with such confidence.” He gave me a troubled smile before turning to Chuckri and saying, “Come Tavit, bring your daughter back to Elsapet and that Dr. Richards. David, come along, I wish you to tell your father and I what you saw.”

After they had walked away Thor said, “This is wrong.”

“Wrong?! The whole world feels wrong.” I stopped to try and pull myself back together but I was shivering. When Thor reached out for me and I didn’t pull away that time. I needed to believe that there was someone I could count on, that was in my corner. “Just let it go Thor. That kid – Vika - I can understand how she feels. Her world has been turned upside down, inside out, and sideways. Her mother died right there in front of her. She’s just … just messed up right now.”

I kept shivering and it felt good to be held. Thor topped me by nearly a head. I became distracted by the unique experience of being able to tuck my head beneath someone’s chin.

“Better?” he asked.

“I’m … I’m OK. You … you don’t think I’m turning into a wimp do you? I’ll stop if you do, I’ve just never felt like this before.” I didn’t want to stop but I would have. I wanted his respect as much as I wanted the other things I felt with him.

“I don’t think you’re a wimp and … and I’ve never felt like this before either,” he told the top of my head. “Walk with me down to the river bank. I want to hear what happened without all the shouting and hysterics.”

We didn’t make it to the river but instead found a handy fallen tree to sit on. I told him how I’d just needed to have a little space to let it all out and rebalance myself and how I’d been so distracted that when Vika had come out of the bushes I hadn’t been prepared to deal with her.

“Thor, I know how manipulative those greenie folks can be. If I’d been in her shoes I’d probably be just as bad if not worse. I’m a decade and some older than her and when I finally accepted my parents were gone I was pretty shook up. It wouldn’t have taken much to make me strike out the way she did.”

“It’s not her that has me upset, it’s Chuckri.”

“Well, Vika is his daughter and he’s probably feeling guilty he couldn’t protect her from all of this. My dad always said I would understand stuff better if I ever had any kids of my own. Parents seem to strike first and then ask questions later when it comes to protecting their kids.”

“Maybe so. But I don’t need anyone to give you any more fuel for that fire you have under your feet making you want to run off.”

I looked at him in the waning light and realized that he did understand a lot better than I’d ever given him credit for. I could also see that what was between us was just as new and different for him as it was for me. Why hadn’t I seen before that maybe he needed as much reassuring as I did?

“What?” he asked me finally noticing I was looking at him kind of strange.

I reached out and his whiskers tickled my hand as ran it down his cheek. “Thor, I promised you I wouldn’t run because of the greenies and I’ll keep my promise if I can. But this thing of somehow getting in the way of your crew, it bothers me. You and Chuckri have been together over a decade. I won’t be the cause of making a mess of that … I won’t. Both of you are needed to get Chuckri’s family to Kentucky. If either one of you bails, or the other guys think something is going on, things might start to fall apart and there are still too many bad things out there to let that happen. I wish Evans was here, he’d know just what to say to make this all die down to nothing. If … if it comes down to me not being able to ride with your crew I … I won’t go far. I’ll track your path, cover your backside or break the trail ahead. I’ll … I’ll do what I can to let you know where I am.”

Thor stiffened and I thought I’d said something wrong until I saw him looking over my shoulder. I turned and I jumped. Chuckri stood there with a strange look on his face. Great I thought, now he was going to really lay into me. Instead he reached out and put a hand on my shoulder that kept me sitting when I would have stood up.

His face wasn’t friendly but it didn’t look like the face of an enemy either. “This whole thing with you being female … it’s just weird.”

“You should have been on this side of it. Half the time it felt like I didn’t know whether I was coming or going. I’m sorry I lied … I’m even sorrier for why I felt I had to.”

The sigh he responded with didn’t exonerate me, nor did it let me off the hook exactly, but it did seem to offer more acceptance than he had since he’d found out. Then he shook his head. “David told us what happened. Vika …”

“Is a scared and upset little kid. That’s all we have to say about it.”

“You’re willing to let it go? Just like that?”

“What do you expect me to say Chuckri? She’s what? Eight years old? Like I told Thor, if I was her I’d probably act out at least as badly. She just isn’t old enough to deal with all the lies that those people … including her mother … told her.”

Chuckri looked a little embarrassed but he finally said, “She’s saying some pretty peculiar things. She said they told her ‘the truth’ about you and the other GWBs.”

“Oh good gravy, let me guess. We were actually a science experiment by the government gone bad and the greenies were only getting blamed to cover it up. That the GWBs aren’t even real people and that there was even debate on several levels as to whether we have a soul or not. That we actually bred to be super soldiers with hidden, secret powers.”

I could tell by the way he was acting that I’d pretty much hit the high spots. It was the same old rumors and conspiracy theories I’d been hearing my whole life. “Chuckri, tell me something, if I was so all fired strong and powerful would I have let that blasted dog chew on me like I was a soup bone?”

“Rocky, I’ve … I hit you. Most men I’ve known would have gone down in the fights where you’ve continued to stand.”

I snorted, “I’m a big ol’ farm kid Chuckri. For whatever reason – man or God – this is just how I’m put together. If you take out all else in my life, every year I tossed more hay bales than most men toss back beers. I’m not invincible; just big, hard, with lots of stamina. It’s just the way I am … and it has nothing to do with being bred like some super secret, super soldier test tube baby.”

He shook his head. “No father I know would let their daughters be like that.”

Trying not to be offended I told him, “My dad loved me for who I was … am, not for what I wasn’t. If it had been up to a lot of people - and I’m not just talking the greenies here - I would have been aborted as soon as they confirmed I was going to be a GWB. If you found out that Vika wasn’t going to be what people call normal, what would you have done?”

He didn’t answer me. It made me wonder if he actually knew what he would have done in my dad’s shoes. I told Thor I was going back; it was up to him and Chuckri to work things out between them.

People seemed to be carefully avoiding looking at me. I couldn’t just do nothing, I’d be nuts in short order, but no matter who I asked there was nothing that I could do to help … or that’s what I was told. I was getting pretty desperate … desperate enough to be willing to even go try and help with the sheep that Pilbos had warned me about.

In one last attempt to avoid that I wandered over to where I saw Grandmother Chuckri and Uncle Bedros sat packing what family treasures had been rescued into boxes filled with hay. Uncle Bedros saw me and beckoned me over. “Come child, I wish to show you something.”

He patted the ornate bed coverlet they were sitting on. “Sit here.”

I sat as he picked up something and wiped it with a soft cloth before putting it into my lap. “Do you remember this?”

Then it clicked. It was the box that I had used to break the window so that I could escape. He told me, “In English it is called a casket, but not the kind you bury a body in. It is for treasured things. The wood it is made out of is olive wood and it has been in my family for many generations. It is one of the few things we were able to save from our home before escaping the muslim persecution. It holds our greatest treasure. Open it.”

I carefully opened the box that still smelled faintly of smoke. I lifted the lid and looked … and then had to look again before I could start understand what I was seeing. It was a book with a dark cover etched in beautiful designs. The binding had been repaired many times and the pages that I could see didn’t look like the machine cut edges I was used to seeing. Just looking at it I could tell that it was old.

“It was my father’s grandfather who brought this treasure into our family. He was a merchant and took this in payment for a debt. It called to him every night. He would lock it in this box at night, trying to stop it. He tried to sell it but too many were afraid once they found out what the book was. Finally he gave in and opened the book and started to read. The story is that before he read the book he was a ferocious man with a terrible temper. He began to change as what he read began to sink in. And as he changed so did the fortune of our family. The Muslims were without mercy. It was always my father’s dream to immigrate to America where we could be free to believe and attend a church of our own choosing. But this book … this Bible … guided us here. It would have been a great blow to have lost it. I thank you for saving it.”

I was still looking at the beautiful book with its ornate cover and hand painted color plates inside it. “I didn’t save it … it saved me. It was the only bit of light I could see in all of the smoke. And then when I couldn’t break the window out it was the closest thing at hand. I hope I didn’t damage the box.”

“There are a few scratches but they only add character and another story to our family’s history.” He was silent for a moment. “I believe you were meant to save this treasure. I have never understood how it wound up under the window, I always kept it on a stand on the other side of the room. God meant for it to light your way and save you, just as it has lit the way for my family and saved us for generations. It is a lesson we should all remember.”

I carefully closed the Bible and then closed the wooden box that held it. I thought of my great grandfather’s big Bible that always sat on the coffee table in the cabin’s sitting room. Generations of births, marriages, and deaths were written inside. There were names and relationships on those pages that you’d never find in any public records. I told Uncle Bedros about that Bible and he nodded and smiled, pleased that I understood what it represented.

“Your Mr. Evans, he is at peace, possibly for the first time in his life. Do not begrudge him for it.”

“What? Oh … no … no I’d never …” But I stopped, realizing that maybe I did. And from Evans I thought of my parents and something inside me unknotted. Then I looked at Uncle Bedros and said, “Thank you.”

He smiled and nodded to something behind me. “It looks like you are wanted … but a word if you will.” I stopped and turned back to him. “You are a young woman alone. Be careful of your choices. I believe that the man that you’ve chosen is honorable and means well, but do not undervalue yourself and be careful of temptation.”

I blushed because it wasn’t hard to understand what he was talking about but I nodded and then turned to see that it was not just Thor waiting for me but the other men as well. I walked over carefully, unable to read anything in Thor’s expression.

It was Richards who said, “I have a hand written note from Evans. I believe, before we go much further, I should read it to everyone.”
 

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 33


This here be the last will and testament of Robert Flois Evans so I reckon if you all be reading this it means that I’ve kicked the bucket. Didn’t plan on going so soon but seems God has different plans for me. I’m OK with that. I ain’t gonna get all mushy, that ain’t my way but I do have me a few things to say and I’m gonna say ‘em so you best listen.

I’m gonna start with a word about the Kid. Now you lay off of her. Not one of you has walked in her shoes so until you do you ain’t got no call to beat her down over the choices she made. She was scart and alone and just wanted to belong some place where she could feel safe. Says a lot that she picked us for that when she had just as much if not more reason not to.

Kid, you just keep on doing the best you can. I’m sorry we never got that R&R or got to go fishing together but it seems to me maybe you’ll be doing some fishing with Thor here right quick. I’m a little jealous of that but not much. Thor’s a good man if a might hard headed on occasion and fond of having his own way. No shame in that though ‘cause most men are and that’s something you’ll just have to learn to live with. And another thing, don’t let them green idiots get you down. If it weren’t you they were yammering on about it’d be someone or something else; never seen such a noisy and complaining bunch in my life. But don’t turn your back on ‘em neither; some ain’t nothing but harmless slugs – a little slimy when you brush up against ‘em – but some are vipers with powerful venom. Use that head of yore’s for something besides a ramming tool and you should be just fine.

As for the rest of you, reckon I don’t have to say it but I will since it’s the last chance I’ll get. It was an honor to work and serve with each of you. Wish more of us were still around but life happens and you ain’t got no choice but to accept that. You bunch have put up with me in the good times and bad and I hope that I’ve done the same for you. Don’t take anything that I’m about to tell you hard, I’m just feeling like it needs saying.

Thor, you’re a good leader but you’re not invincible. And now that you got Rocky in your life maybe you ought to be thinking of some R&R yourself. Comes a time in a man’s life that things change. You got a chance at what I never did. You pass it up, it may never come round again. Think on that. To you I leave the care and tending of Rocky. She’s worth more than anything else I could leave you and I reckon you’re starting to figure that out.

Chuckri, you’re a good man to work with but you hold onto hurts too tight. They’ll turn rabid on you and eat your soul if you don’t put ‘em down for good. Believe me, I know what I’m talking about. Here at the end, I got no chance to change things but it don’t mean I don’t wonder if I could have. Don’t want to think on such a good friend making the same mistakes I did. To remember me by I want you to have that big ol’ pig sticker we took off that man down in San Salvador. Use it to defend yore family or save it for your boy and tell some stories of our wild times when he’s old enough to hear ‘em. Just not around your women folk or you might find yoreself in some hot water.

Montgomery, we had some real good times together and I wouldn’t change that for nothing but you’s a bit like me so you need to put down the JD more often. I worry that you were my drinking buddy too often. That stuff shore do taste good and I know it, but there’s danger in it ruling you instead of you ruling it. Learn from my mistakes. Trust me, you don’t want to walk that particular road. To you my friend I’m going to leave that little pocket Bible you was always ribbing me about. I got some pages in there marked special that helped when the urge to drink tried to overrun my good sense. It’ll help if you let it. Them are some powerful words in there.

Richards, you done what you could for me and I appreciate that. Ain’t yore fault that it was my time. For a man whot never trained for it, you make a dang fine medic. You take your job serious, but don’t take it so serious that you forget that you have a right to a life too. Don’t get so wound up in other people’s hurts that you forget to search for your own happiness. To you I leave my pocket watch you was always borrowing to count off seconds with. You keep using it to get the job done.

Barkley, I cain’t count the number a times that you come to bail me and Montgomery out of some trouble or other. I remember a little cantina down in Tijajuana in particular and you and I both know what I’m talking about. ‘Nuff said about that. Hope you find you another woman to spark with whot ain’t already got entanglements. You always were partial to that pocket knife I won off of that Dane when we was overlaid in Thule that time so I want you to have it. It’s got eleventy dozen gadgets on the flaming thing, half of which I never had the time to figure out what they were; hopefully you’ll do what I didn’t.

Alfonso, just because I name you last don’t mean yore last on my list. Not everything has some secret or hidden meaning to it. You need to loosen the tinfoil a bit boy or you’re gonna miss what is right in front of you. Like the fact you is the best fixer we’ve ever had in the crew. Ain’t seen too much broke that you cain’t do something with. If I was you I’d do something with that talent. In the world we be living in these days it seems to me that you could take it and go far. To you I’m leaving my compass. The thing has never failed me and hopefully it’ll keep you heading in the right direction.

As for the rest of my gear, including my horse and rifle, I want Rocky to have it. It’s my right to leave it to who I want and I want it to be her so don’t go saying otherwise. She ain’t bamboozled me or any such foolishness like that.

Now I’m done with this letter and apparently with this life. You go out and keep going on my friends. And try to live life with the fewest regrets you can.


There wasn’t a dry eye when Richards finished. I looked down to see that Evans’ stuff was piled against the trunk of a tree and since it looked like it was somehow my responsibility I dug through it and handed the men what Evans had wanted each of them to have. They took the items and then began to file away but Alfonso turned back. “Hey Kid … Rocky … you know … sometimes my mouth gets ahead of my brain. If Evans thought you were OK, that’s good enough for me from here on out.”

Not sure exactly why my smile of gratitude made him blush but he lit up so high I could see it in the light of the bonfire that was our only illumination. Richards said a few things to Thor and then left as well. Then there was only Chuckri and Thor to deal with. I looked between the two of them and couldn’t tell if things were fixed or not but I had thought of something while I was in Evans’ pack … now my pack.

“Chuckri, I’m not sure how to say this but … Evans has a couple of sets of clean clothes in here. You’ve got so many men and boys running around, and there was the fire … do you think anyone could use them?”

Chuckri stared at me and I saw him swallow. Then he nodded and held out his hand. “I’ll give it to mother, she’ll know who it will fit and needs it most.”

“Oh, I should have thought of that.”

“What … what will you do for boots?” he asked.

I looked down at my feet and said matter-of-factly, “I guess for now I just continue to where these slippers, at least until I can make me some sandals or moccasins. I might as well get used to doing without boots now as later; I’m not an easy fit even in the best of times.”

He nodded hesitantly, like he didn’t know whether to agree with me or not. Then he left and I was alone with Thor … a Thor that was as closed off as the man I’d first met. He picked up what was left of Evans’ gear and I followed him away from the yard and over to a patch of darkness. I couldn’t see much, what moonlight there had been earlier was now gone. I heard him drop the pack on the ground and it made a pretty heavy chunk when it hit reminding me of Evans’ … er … hobby of collecting things. Before I could go much further with wondering what I was supposed to do with it all I was taken rather roughly in Thor’s arms and kissed the same way.

It startled me so much it took me a moment to think to push until he stopped but he didn’t turn me loose. “Thor?” When he didn’t answer me I ran my hands up to find his face. I felt the damp patches in his whiskers where they’d caught his tears but I couldn’t tell anything else. “Thor? What’s … I … I don’t understand. Is this something I’m supposed to know about?”

Another moment of silence followed then in a guttural voice he said, “How the @#$% am I supposed to compete with a dead man?”

“Compete for what?” I asked, confused. I mean I knew he was talking about Evans obviously but the rest of it was over my head.

“You.”

I was gobsmacked. The idea of being competed for by anyone pretty much threw me for a loop, but to have a man like Thor feel like that … well, it gave me a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach. I guess this was a romantic situation that a lot of silly women would have given their eye teeth for. I’m not inclined to want to be that kind of woman and I told him so.

“Thor … this may be one of those times when I’d be inclined to call you by your full name if I thought it would get your attention better. I’m not some silly little thing that doesn’t know her own mind. It may have taken me a bit to believe that you really felt something for me and wasn’t just fooling but now that I do, and now that I’ve gone so far as to promise not to run off and even ask you to my home, why would you think that there would be anyone to compete with? Not unless you’re competing with yourself.”

“You sure?”

“I just said I was didn’t I?”

“You’re not … not holding some flame for Evans? Settling for me because you can’t have him?”

I thought to myself why any female would get her jollies out of making a guy jealous and brainless was beyond me. I didn’t like this, not one bit.

“Thor, Evans was my friend. You aren’t really the kind of guy that would get bent out of shape over that are you?”

His hands ran up under my shirt tail causing me to jump since he didn’t even seem to realize what he was doing. I decided then and there that since he wouldn’t keep an eye on his wandering hands I’d have to or I’d likely wind up in all sorts of trouble. I wriggled and then got my shirt retucked while his hands went someplace else less dangerous for both of us. “I asked you a question Thor.”

He sighed, “I didn’t think I was.”

“Well go back to thinking that way. I miss Evans. That’s not going to change. He was there for me when I needed him and we got to be close. But not that kind of close.” And as his hands made another trip they shouldn’t have I told him, “Not this kind of close. Now stop doing that. It’s hard enough to think with you holding me much less all the rest of it. This is serious.”

“I like all the rest of it,” he murmured in my ear.

“Yeah, and I’m sure I will too … when I’m ready for it. Right now I might want to so I can prove it’s you I’m picking to be with but I don’t think this is the best time for … for proving that sort of stuff. Down the road we might both wonder whether it was for the right reasons or if we just sort of fell into doing … things … that might have been better to hold off on.”

Thor groaned then sighed, “You sure you don’t have a granny lady buried in you some place?”

I smiled because I knew that meant that he’d heard what I’d said and would quit pushing. He felt my smile and groaned again. “You better just keep reminding me that I’m a patient man. I have a feeling I’m going to need that reminding pretty often.”

“Thor?”

“Hmm?”

“If I asked you to hold me … just hold me … would you? ‘Cause … ‘cause I need to feel … feel like the world isn’t coming to an end, only a bit of it.”

And he did … just hold me that is. For a while anyway then it was back to reality. “We are going to pull out as soon after dawn as we can. It’s going to be a short day of travel, mostly to get things broken in. I don’t expect we’ll get very far the first few days but we’ll need to start making up for it at some point.”

“The animals will really slow things down.”

He sighed, “I know, but they’re too valuable to leave behind and it gives the kids something to do besides ask if we’re there yet. I’m going to need you all over the place. You’re used to breaking trail and reading the road ahead nearly as well the rest of the men are. We all need to keep our eyes open for trouble. We’re going to be a pretty big target, and the animals are only going to make it worse. I’ll show you the route tomorrow but for now, I know you’re exhausted but you need to get your stuff packed and decide what to do with the rest of Evans’ gear.”

“What do you think I should do with it?”

“With what?”

I nudged the pack enough for him to hear the noise of what I was talking about. “Whatever you want. Evans gave it to you remember?”

“Have you seen what all is in there?”

“No, and I don’t need to. But knowing Evans he got rid of the cheap stuff along the way and what’s left is the real deal. Just don’t let it put you in unnecessary danger so there’s no need to say anything about it out loud.”

“OK, but … I don’t know … if we have to buy supplies along the way … this stuff isn’t meant to just sit around and sparkle.”

Now it was my turn to feel him smile. “Fair enough and something that Evans would have done anyway. He acted like a hermit with a horde but he was also the first to open his wallet when it was really needed.”

We walked back to where the tarp was still tied and looking around I saw the wagons, wheelbarrows, the pony cart and a couple of other things being carefully loaded. Finding food for this many people was going to be the biggest challenge next to having enough fresh water.

“The enemy was stripped of everything useful and we were lucky most of the remaining food was in the root cellar near the guest cabin. The animals will have to forage almost exclusively but if we can find things along the way we should arrive at Ludvig’s farm with enough to get them started . Winter is going to be bad but not impossible. Now do as I asked you. I’ll get your horse saddled for you; your still favoring that arm.” And with a brief, hard kiss he was gone.

I sat for a few moments and let the tears fall again but I was crying more for my own grief than I was for Evans. I knew he was in a better place. It was the rest of us that was about to be tested beyond anything that we’d experienced up to this point.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 34

It was more than a little passed dawn when the wheels finally started moving and Thor was not pleased to put it mildly. When you have a whole bunch of kids, a few injured people, and a couple of elderly folks … though I don’t think Uncle Bedros would appreciate being called elderly … it’s not the same as seven men (and a girl) getting up and putting feet to trail. Still, it was pretty obvious that some improvement needed to occur, particularly in the area of organization and meal prep and clean up.

It whole kit and caboodle was a mess. There was the wagon that Delia had been driving and since she knew its quirks and the team that pulled it she continued to do so; in it she took most of the younger kids except for Vika who was kept close by Elsapet. Delia seemed to be in heaven from what I could see. She never lost patience with the kids’ antics or their never ending questions. I don’t understand why God would put such a love for children in the body of a woman that couldn’t have any, seems kind of cruel; or maybe it was since she couldn’t have any she’d developed that love and patience so that it would be enough for some children that really needed her and didn’t have anyone else. I don’t know, those kind of thoughts always did make my head hurt. It was funny to watch though when Mrs. Chuckri climbed up in the wagon with the children after the lunch break. I think she did it so she could get to know Delia better. After that mess that Churcki made with his ex-wife Linda I can understand why.

There was another wagon for Grandmother Chuckri, Uncle Bedros and Ani, and Elsapet, Vika, and Pilbos; Tovmas drove that wagon and his shoulders hunched lower and lower as the day wore on. Whether it was from Pilbos’ comments about the bumps or Uncle Bedros’ helpful suggestions (aka back seat driving) I’m not sure. I did what I could be riding over there and distracting them but it didn’t always work. They carried most of the food that was rescued in that wagon which made for a rather lumpy seating arrangement.

Soghomon drove another wagon with the rest of the food and Chuckri sisters and some feed for the animals in case we came to a barren area. Ludvig drove yet another wagon with the household goods while the remaining Chuckri brothers and older cousins road the family’s work horses that weren’t being used to pull the wagons. Joan drove the pony cart with more stuff, only instead of a pony it was being pulled by a young bull that was well yoked. David, Taniel, and some of the other older children and teenagers took turns driving the animals which was a completely new level of complicated compared to the way we’d been traveling before, made especially worse by the stupid sheep. Only the three family dogs seemed to have any sway with those animals and thank goodness for them. They were under foot, under wagon, and under hoof at every opportunity or so it seemed.

You could tell that while some of the family considered the trip an adventure, others were reluctant to leave what they knew behind and some were simply frightened at what might lie ahead. It was hard to watch and put me in mind of the stories I’d heard about the early pioneers of this country.

Thor’s comment that we wouldn’t get far that day proved true. We barely made eleven miles; only making it back to the interstate and then under it to a little deserted town called Oak Grove. The town wasn’t too ransacked so I took a few kids and we went salvaging. It got the kids doing something constructive and gave the other adults a break. I played it up that they were doing a real service for the family so even the kids felt good about it despite not really finding too much useful; but a couple of bushels of odds and ends of food was a couple of bushel of things we didn’t have. When the kids came back the women wanted to go and they hit the feminine hygiene stuff first and then, baby items, and then under clothing for the family. Joan had an inventory she was working from and though they were far from being restocked on what they’d lost, every little bit helped.

Everyone was exhausted that night. Unfortunately the wind was blowing out of the west and we could smell Kansas City on it. The children in particular seemed to be the most adversely affected by the sights we were seeing and their reactions ranged from unhealthy silence, to hyperactivity, to extreme irritability and aggressiveness. Not the most auspicious beginning I could have imagined, but due to the salvaging operation it wasn’t completely depressing. I warned everyone still awake while we were banking the fires that there was no way we could count on salvaging at every stop so we’d need to be careful. It was working on the fifth month since the collapse and most places that were going to be salvaged from had pretty much been worked over pretty well, at least for convenience foods and commercially canned goods.

I’m embarrassed to admit that the worst of it for me was the fact that I hadn’t ridden a horse in so long that I was tender in places that I would rather not have been. That more than anything was why I was willing to take the kids and get away from everyone. Walking bowlegged was a little embarrassing. You would have thought that riding a bike would have helped with that but a bike seat is a little thing and a horse’s back is most definitely not. I did my best not to let it show but Thor couldn’t help but make a couple of less than helpful suggestions as we bedded down for the night after a dinner of soup and bread. I tried to tell him that he didn’t need to sleep quite so close, it didn’t get that cool at night, but he gave me a look which told me he didn’t need the out I was trying to politely give him. “You know good and well I’m not sleeping here because it is gonna get cold so don’t get coy.”

I choked back a cough at the very idea someone would have thought of me as trying to be coy. “You’re crazy. That’s not what I mean. People are going to talk,” I said trying not to draw attention to us.

“So let ‘em.”

I sighed. I guess it really didn’t matter to him but I was realizing that it mattered to me. All of it was just so new and unexpected … not unwelcome at all, just I didn’t know how to deal with it a lot of the times. Thor could be pretty intense when it wasn’t being irritating or cute on purpose. I wondered if he thought I was cold and didn’t feel the things he was feeling. I was afraid of hurting his feelings so I stopped trying to get the point across that people were going to think we were doing a lot more than we were.

The addition of Chuckri’s family really helped with duty rotations. Sure there was more work, but there were also more people to do the work and in particular guard duty. That meant no one had to be on every night. I worried at first about it looking like Thor was doing favors for me when I wasn’t on duty that first night.

“Are you going to settle down at all? I’m tired.” Thor complained in a quiet growl after I had tossed and turned for about an hour because I couldn’t get my thoughts to settle.

“Then go sleep someplace else.” I whispered back.

Some of my upset must have made it into my voice because he asked, “What is this all about? Changing your mind?”

“Changing my mind about what?”

“You’re either playing dumb or coy and I don’t like either one.”

“Well, I’m not playing. Wait … I mean I’m not being coy and I’m not dumb. I haven’t changed my mind about anything. I … I’m … people are going to talk Thor. Can’t you see that?”

“Yeah. So?”

Running out of patience I used my elbow to back him out of my personal space a little bit. “People are going to talk and even if you don’t care I do.”

“You ashamed of me?”

I rolled over not expecting him to have gotten so close again. “Omph! Will you back up a bit? No, I’m not ashamed of you. I know we’re not doing … you know … it. I know that you are giving me some time to get used to all of this and to focus on the priority which is getting Chuckri’s family where they’ll be safe. I know that … and I appreciate it. But … other people don’t know that and other people will think … doggone Thor, you know what they’ll think.”

He finally started to get I wasn’t playing. “And that really bothers you?”

I shrugged. “You’d think after having people talk about me my whole life it wouldn’t phase me. But I’ve always tried to be so careful not to give ‘em more reason to talk than they already had. And when they did talk about stuff that bothered me I tried to pretend that it didn’t or I could get away from them and ignore them. I can’t do that here. And … and …”

“And what?” he asked after I trailed off embarrassed at trying to explain it to him.

“And I wonder what my parents would say … OK? My mom seemed to be thrilled with Jonathon started acting … er … partial to me. My dad, not so much. And he was on the other side of the country, my age, and just about as harmless as they come. You’re none of the above – you’re right here and in my space and in ways no one ever has been, you’re older than I am, and the last thing you are is harmless.” I leaned forward in the dark and put my head on his shoulder. “Maybe that is what I need but I’m not sure exactly how that makes me look.”

He growled and then pulled me closer. “What you need hmm?”

I thumped him on his chest pretty hard, “Do you ever think of anything else?”

“Sweetheart, how you could have played sports with highschool boys and not learned that nearly everything eventually leads back to sex in some way for most guys is beyond me.”

“Neanderthal,” I called him but without too much heat to it. “Of course I realized that. However, I thought it was just because they hadn’t matured very much, I didn’t realize even grown men were that hormonally challenged.”

He gave a wicked little laugh before getting serious himself. “People are going to talk no matter what we do or don’t do. You were the lone female traveling in the company of several rough men. Not everyone will believe that you hid your gender as long as you did or that you are capable enough to handle the work load without … special help and accommodations if you catch my drift.”

“That’s … that’s …” then I sighed, accepting the inevitable. “Fine. People are going to think I’m a loose woman. But don’t expect me to like it or encourage it.”

He ran his hand over my hair, “Rochelle, if I could stop them I would since it seems to both you but I can’t. And frankly what they say doesn’t bother me because I know it isn’t true. Despite it all you sure are a modest little thing.” I snorted with laughter when he called me a little thing but he continued. “If they started upsetting you too much I’d do something but if no one does anything more overt than think I’m not going to turn into the thought police. You do understand what I’m saying?”

“Yeah, pretty much. They can think what they want to think but if I try and force them to think something else they’ll only think the other even more.”

He kissed my forehead in the dark but I could tell it wasn’t to push any boundaries. After a moment he continued. “I’m not moving Rochelle. I fail to see why I should deny myself what pleasure and comfort I get from being close to you just because there are some idiots left in the world. If your parents were here the situation would be different because your father would be the man in your life and he’d be your protector and I’d probably never gotten near enough to get to know you in the first place. But that’s not the way it is. I’m the man in your life and I’m your protector and I’m going to have the pleasure of torturing myself until you’re ready for anything else. Understand?”

Not quite ready to give in I told him, “I don’t need you to be my protector. I’ve managed fairly well so far.”

“Too bad, that’s the door prize you get with this package. You’re my woman and that’s all there is to it.”

I couldn’t help but smile at the smugness I heard in his voice. “So I’m your woman?”

“Oh yeah. And if that boy doesn’t stop his sniffing around he’s going to lose some vital parts.”

The change in subject caught me off guard. “What boy?”

“Pilbo doughboy,” he said with such disdain I had a hard time not laughing.

“What are you talking about? He’s riding in a wagon, I’m riding a horse and the only reason I was talking to him was to keep Tovmas from committing fratricide.”

Thor wasn’t appeased. “He keeps watching you.”

I shook my head, “OK, you are too tired. You’re getting silly.” Then more seriously once again I said, “Thor. I’m sorry that this bothers me but I can’t help it.

“Don’t worry about it. I’d probably wonder why it didn’t bother you if it didn’t.”

“Thor, can I ask you something?”

He chuffed a quiet laugh, “Have I ever been able to stop you?”

“Smart aleck. Look, maybe this is … I don’t know … not my job or something but … where … where is this going? Between us I mean. I know you’re serious … and I’m serious too … about us … together … and stuff like that.” I shuddered, hoping that I wasn’t making a mistake. “But the rest of it. You said you’d come home with me … but … but do plan on staying? Or … or are you just kinda … waiting … to you know see if something else comes along … or … or you know …”

Suddenly I was pinned like I was under a dog pile and I was caught between surprise and fear at just how close he was all of a sudden.

“Now you listen here Ro-chelle. You will not let this crazy fear you have of what other people say get you thinking along the lines of any kind of escape what so ever. I have been all over this cotton pickin’ world several times over. I’ve been offered just about any flavor imaginable when it comes to women and what they have available. None of them … and I mean absolutely none of them … has ever done it for me the way you do and that’s even before we’ve done much more than tease each other. I consider myself a smart man so it doesn’t make a lick of sense for me to go off searching the world again to find what I already have. You got that?”

“I can’t breathe you oaf, get off me.”

He shook his head, “I’m not moving until you understand what I’m saying. I won’t put up with you trying to get away from me … not because you think it is for my own good and not because you are just afraid of whether I’m serious or not. I’m more serious than I can show you until you’re more ready for it. You’ve changed how I see the future. You’ve changed what I want from the future. Now I don’t even see the future at all without you in it.” He stopped and said, “Now I’ve got a question for you. How do you see this playing out? Between us?”

Suddenly I felt bolder than I ever had. “Like I asked you to come home with me but … but if you really hadn’t wanted to come I would have followed you where it was you wanted to go. I never thought beyond that. I was too afraid to.”

He finally got off of me and I was a little sorry for it but a little relieved too. “Well, there’s no need to be afraid. I’ve developed a real curiosity to see the place where you grew up. I’ve never lived in that area of the country but what I’ve seen of it seems to make it a good place to have a home … a family.” When he said that last it seemed like some kind of deal had been sealed between us. There was almost an audible sound of something being locked.

“You’d … you’d really want a family with me … a GWB?”

“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a flaming flip what you’re called just as long as you stay who you are. And don’t tease me about wanting a family with you; you’re supposed to be reminding me that I’m a patient man, not one that wants to make a family, remember?”

I smiled as another one of those knots I had inside me and didn’t know it untied itself. “That has to be the worst Clark Gable imitation I’ve ever heard.”

“Then it’s a good thing I didn’t make my living on the stage. Now can we get some rest? Tomorrow is going to be challenging enough without having to do it on half rations of sleep.”

I was finally able to let everything settle for the night and get some sleep. It wasn’t that I had stopped caring about what other people thought we were doing – that still gave me the heebie jeebies especially since we weren’t doing anything – but a thought had been dealt with that I hadn’t really dared to think. Thor wasn’t just serious, he wasn’t just in this for the long haul … he was in it for the forever haul and believing that made a huge difference for me.

The next night saw us in a place called Lone Jack and then the next a place called Pittsville. We’d been heading south to try and get away from the interstate because though it was the more direct route, it would have likely been the more dangerous one as well. I wasn’t real sure about turning east when we did as we’d have to go by Whiteman Air Force Base. My concern was born out when we stopped for the next night at a town called Warrensburg.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 35

Warrensburg had several strikes against it when things first began to fall apart. First off it was a university town; the University Central Missouri played a prominent role in the local economy and well as bringing in a lot of outsiders. It was also an Amtrak hub along the Kansas City and St. Louis route with tracks that spread from one end of town to the other … and a train out of Kansas City used by escapees from whatever bacteria was released there derailed right in the middle of things spreading. It had over fifteen thousand permanent residents which didn’t include the all of the students in the area, and the area really wasn’t designed to be self-sufficient. But the worst thing was that it filled with evacuees from Whiteman Air Face Base.

The evacuees along with all of the other stranded residents, permanent and otherwise, quickly stripped the town of everything remotely edible or useful (and some things that weren’t either) and then turned on each other. At some point someone’s cooking fire, or that was my guess anyway since it started in the primarily residential area of town, got out of control and took out about a quarter of the east side of the town. The chaos of that destruction overwhelmed what little infrastructure that remained. The rest of the town died a quick and hard death accentuated as the Kansas City illness spread beyond the containment area that had been set up and the only thing that was left by the time we got there was the rougher elements and guys on leave … permanent or otherwise … from the air force base.

We had several groups try to shake us down for protection money, supplies, etc. One group looked particularly disgusting with sores and such that proclaimed them to be severe meth-heads. We finally took up a defensible position by simply driving the wagons and horses into a warehouse that still had a roof and four walls if little else.

With no internal walls there was no privacy and for once I was once again grateful for dark corners and shadows to escape the attention of other people. It was difficult to scrap together enough wood to have a cook fire so dinner that night was simply a thrown together mess for most folks. There was no game to supplement the supplies even as flavoring and if everyone hadn’t been so tired – and if Uncle Bedros hadn’t turned a forbidding stare on a few – I suspect there would have been no small amount of grumbling. Water was not to be found either which meant using a lot of what we had in the water barrels, one of which was attached to each wagon.

For my own use I used bits of charcoaled wood and built a small fire in an empty coffee can I’d found. Thor, Alfonso, and I had been working our butts off through dinner fixing an axle that was starting to wobble. Alfonso had a cast iron stomach and didn’t seem to mind what the Chuckri women had thrown together but I knew Thor and I needed more. While he took care of a few other things I went to work. When he finally returned I was pretty satisfied with my efforts. Thor was as well but was concerned at our water supply level since we’d also had to water the animals with it.

“I wouldn’t trust any water from around here anyway,” I told Thor as we shared a plate of Mexican Grilled cheese sandwiches I had made for us. “No sense in risking us or the animals getting sick. As soon as we find the next watering hole or water tower we can fill up there.”

Thor sighed and admitted we didn’t have any choice at this point and finally bit into what I’d been working on. “If I’d known you could cobble together a meal like this you’d been cooking a long time ago,” he mumbled around his first mouthful.

I snorted, “Yeah, like I was going to let you know so that you could do just that.”

He reached over and gave me a cheesey kiss on the cheek. “Seriously, soups good but I couldn’t handle another night of corn chowder. Where’d you get the supplies for this?”

“The bread is ours from what was baked last night. By the way, you might want to mention to Chuckri that his uncle should pull out some seed wheat so it doesn’t accidentally all get used up. Who knows what the state of things are going to be once they get to Kentucky. Anyway I saved back the bread from toast at breakfast since you didn’t seem to mind the leftover corn pone from the night before. Then tonight I just pulled together stuff out of my supplies.”

“What’s your pack weigh?” Thor asked.

“Now? I don’t know … forty or fifty pounds probably. Normally when Dad and I went hiking my pack ran between eighty-five and a hundred pounds but I didn’t like carrying that heavy for the short trails.”

“You carried an eighty-five to hundred pound pack … hiking … you’re not just making that up?”

Getting irritated that he seemed so surprised I asked, “Do you want dessert or are you going to be deprived?”

“There’s dessert too?”

“Assuming you behave,” I told him.

“I always behave … just don’t expect me to always be well behaved. Now seriously, what were you doing carrying that much gear on a hike? Did them scouts make you carry all of the gear?”

“Our venture crew was pretty decent sized, in number and build since most of us were older, but we always had a couple of smaller and younger kids that came along from the local Boy Scout troops who were working on some of the high adventure badges. If I wasn’t helping them I was helping my dad. Dad was the guy who trained the trainers that in turn trained the local adult volunteers and that sort of thing.” I shrugged. “I helped carry any special equipment like the climbing gear, block and tackle and other heavy trail clearing equipment, stuff like that. It helped me to stay in shape in the off season since it was too hard for me to get to town and use the gym every day.”

“Is your dad who taught you to trail cook?”

I laughed remembering some of my dad’s cooking experiments. “No. He could cook but a lot of the time he doctored it up so much that it never turned out to be what it was originally meant to be. It was Mom and my grandmothers. There was always this tug of war going on. I was a tomboy, well you can imagine why, but the more dainty females in my family refused to give up hope that one day I would settle down to just being a normal sort of girl. And if it wasn’t that they still wanted me to be able to look after myself as far as cooking, cleaning, sewing, yada, yada, yada.”

“OK, oh woman of the mountains, so what am I eating that tastes so good?” he teased.

“You’re being silly again. All I did was sprinkle some taco seasoning on the bread, spread some Velveeta on top of that, fry it on both sides and then when it was gooey I opened it up and spread some black bean and corn salsa in it and resealed it before the cheese got cold. Like I said the bread came from our bit of breakfast this morning and the rest was just stuff I’ve been salvaging as I’ve run across it. I was trying to save the salsa for a special occasion but I needed the proteins the beans have.”

He looked at me in the middle of chewing the last corner of his sandwich. “You feeling OK?”

“Oh I’m fine, just not getting the amount of protein I’m used to. All of the corn and bread and potatoes we’ve been eating is great for the carb count and short term energy but I need to balance that with protein and the little bit of game we’ve been able to bring in just isn’t …” I trailed off afraid I sounded like I wasn’t grateful or was complaining.

Thor made it easy on me however as he scooched up close and said, “Yeah, I’ve been missing the meat that goes with the potatoes I’m used to as well. It’s going to be hard with a group this size though and no resupply in sight. It’ll be easier when we are on our own. Now what’s for dessert?”

I laughed and pulled an aluminum foil lined box away from the fire. “Don’t tear the aluminum, I’m going to try and reuse it again if I can. I’ve used it several times already and it is starting to fall apart but hate to use any new until I have no choice.”

Thor opened the two aluminum foil packets like it was an expensive Christmas gift while I did a quick clean up of what mess I had made. I told him, “It would have been better if I could have saved any of those wind fall apples from that tree but they got used in the cobbler that Mrs. Chuckri and Joan made night before last. These are some of the last dried apples that I’ve got and I also used the last of the honey out of my bear and the last two caramels that I had. I know it’s not much but I figured why have them if I wasn’t going to use them.”

If most everyone hadn’t already gone to sleep by that point I would have laughed out loud to watch Thor lick all of the sweet off of the aluminum and out of the whiskers from around his mouth. Despite his best effort I still tasted caramel and honey when he kissed me before telling me to get some sleep while he went on guard duty for first watch. About every third or fourth night we’d get a night off together and in fact should have had one that night but with the situation being what it was Thor had doubled the guards. I would be on later in the night.

When it was my turn I took up a place outside the warehouse. On the wind came the kinds of hooting and hollering of people having what sounded like a drunk of a time. No one had mentioned seeing anyone nearby our location but during my hours that I caught someone sneaking around. To his surprise he walked right into me … well, my fist actually. He dropped with hardly a sound.

After thinking a moment I took his belt since he really wasn’t using it to keep his pants up and hog tied him. After telling Chuckri what I was doing I hauled him over to a building where they did oil changes on big rigs and lowered him down in the changing pit. I could have dropped him down into it but there was no need to wake him up so soon or make any noise doing it. I picked off three more guys that way, dumping each of them in a different bay, and all the while collecting a mangy assortment of items and packs that I gave to Thor when he woke up when I came to bed to try and catch a couple of hours more sleep before what passed for reveille.

The next morning as the family was trying to load up to leave Thor took me aside and said, “Next time Rochelle wake me up if you have an encounter.”

Realizing that I may have stepped on some toes I said, “I … I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t upset me exactly but I’d prefer to know what is going on as much as possible especially if they involve you. I’ve asked and no one else says they saw anything. How is it that you not only saw four but took them out when none of the others did?”

Wondering if he was the one wondering or if it was the others I shrugged, trying not to care one way or the other. “Might have been my position. I caught every one of them coming from deeper in the complex of warehouses to the rear of here. None of them were being noisy or anything as far as I could tell but they weren’t exactly announcing themselves either. I don’t even know if they knew we were here, Uncle Bedros muffling the animals’ hooves was a pretty good idea, but I wasn’t going to take any chances just to be on the safe side.”

“And you didn’t go looking for them?”

“No,” I told him upset that he’d even think I would do something like that. “I was just behind that truck that is parked kitty corner to the rear door over there.”

“You were outside the building?”

“Well … yeah,” I said beginning to wonder where this was leading. “I couldn’t see anything from that stupid small window. Someone could have crawled under it and I’d never have seen them.”

“But it was dark and damp outside.”

Beginning to get irritated, “Now hang on a sec. You aren’t going to start treating me like a girl all of a sudden are you? ‘Cause if you …”

A cough from behind me followed by a, “No Rocky, I think he is trying to make a point.” Chuckri was standing there with a grin on his face.

I still didn’t get it so Chuckri said, “Thor is just making the point that being on guard duty doesn’t mean doing it the most comfortable way, it means doing it the right way.” He looked over at a couple of his family members that had gathered around with an easy expression on his face. “And he’s trying to do it so no one gets offended.” But suddenly his face went from congenial to forbidding. “It’s something he shouldn’t have to point out. Pilbos, you had that position before Rocky. How many did you miss do you think? How many people now know that we are inside this warehouse simply because you let them by? Taniel, you had that position after Rocky. Instead of using the truck as cover you stayed at the window the way Pilbos had. Were you even able to see anything at all?” He wasn’t ripping into them exactly but I decided then and there that I’d watch out for sour grapes from them and the others that he was starting lean on.

I turned to Thor. “It might be a good idea if we got out and looked around a bit before getting everyone out of the building.”

A grunt of agreement came my direction and he said, “Barkley and Montgomery already on it. They said your four are still in the warehouse but haven’t figured out what is going on yet, aren’t even working with each other so that tells me they were loners.”

I asked in a voice no one else could hear, “Did I cause problems?”

He gave me a don’t-be-stupid look and popped me lightly on the head with his cap. It wasn’t the answer I was looking for but it was enough that I wasn’t worried any more. If people wanted to think I was a hard case out to make a name for myself then that was their problem, not mine. I’d continue doing what I could to protect this caravan and to heck with them.

“All’s clear,” I heard Barkely say quietly to Thor a few minutes later. Montgomery and Alfonso remained outside to make sure it stayed clear.

I sighed and Thor heard me, “What’s up?”

“Just thinking that I wished I could run around the town and see what, if anything, is worth salvaging. I got to thinking last night after you asked what my normal pack weight was and I’m wishing I had a few more things in there. Not to mention these slippers aren’t going to cut it for much longer. I bruised my instep again last night.”

Thor nodded, “I’d run around with you if I thought it would do any good but it’s not worth the effort. I wouldn’t mind seeing what was left at the university, especially in the science labs, and I know Richards and Elsapet want to restock on med supplies. I just want to get on the other side of Whiteman without incident. Keep a good watch today. Chuckri is working on training his family but I’d be more comfortable if we had more time before we run into trouble.”

“You expect trouble?” I asked him, growing wary of the day.

“I don’t not expect trouble. You saw that one group that was in fatigues that tried to extort a ‘traveling tax’ from us. Some of them had some basic training but I don’t know if they were AWOL or just what. You’d figure with more training and serious intent they could have taken our group down easily.”

I smiled and said, “You guys don’t look in the mirror much do you?”

He gave me a sour look and I explained. “You guys are tops at doing the scary look. In fact anyone with any sense can tell you don’t just look scary you are scary. Y’all are the real deal.”

Thor just shook his head. “Get on your horse girl and stop trying to have your way by flirting with me.” I stuck my tongue out at him but moved when he growled … I couldn’t tell if he was being playful or not.

We’d stuck with the frontage road since Hwy 50 was a mess and we continued east using the same street system. We did OK until lunch time when the railroad tracks grew close to the road again and the parallel road ended. I was covering our back trail to make sure we were weren’t being followed, and to make sure the animals kept pace, when a shot rang out and I saw Richards fall sideways off his horse as it reared.

The tracks rested on a built up hump that had given our attackers just enough cover to operate from. I rode forward and quickly handed my horse off to Taniel who was herding the sheep and goats and then went up into the grass and over the tracks at a dead run. I was met by a scruffy looking man but I’d been prepared for that. He got the butt end of my rifle in the side of his head and he dropped out of my way. These people were used to ambushing the weak and unwary and were completely unprepared for an immediate return offensive.

I shot a few of the ambushers in self defense but most of the ones I had direct encounters with were simply too slow for me to bother. I was angry and worried about Richards so my response was more aggressively painful than I might have been if none of our people had been hurt. I stomped ‘em pretty bad and met up with Alfonso as we crushed the rest of them between us. Alfonso whistled a signal and then Chuckri came over the tracks and we spear headed an attack, following the few escapees back to a camp about a hundred yards to the south of where they had tried to stop us.

It was a complete route. Every ambusher was dead or injured; or soon to be injured and dead I realized as I heard a shot here and there back the way we had stormed from. I’d been forced to learn to live with the men’s way of making sure no one got back up to come after us again. I suppose it was true that if you lived by the sword you would eventually die by it but it didn’t help the dreams I sometimes had about it. I had hopes that Thor and I could eventually put some of that behind us but having solid proof that humans in general were animals even when they didn’t have to be I became less and less confident that my hopes would prove true in the long run.

We cleared the area and found two women tied up. They’d been roughly used. One was a complete mess and not all there but the other looked ready to fight which gave me hope that she’d heal from her ordeal. I bent down and said, “Don’t expect any of the men I’m with to treat you the same as you’ve been treated so take it easy. You’re making it hard to untie you.”

The woman … I couldn’t tell if she had blonde hair or brown as she was so filthy … looked at me intently. She finally stopped fighting so that I could take the tape off her mouth. It sickened me. “Oh geez. I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were so busted up under this or I would have tried to be more gentle.”

“You’re female,” she lisped through swollen and split lips.

“Last time I checked. Hang on and I’ll get you some water.”

She warned, “Don’t drink anything around here. It’s more than likely contaminated. There was an outbreak of something not that long ago. I’m the last of a group of hostages I came in with; the others died of dehydration caused by some kind dysentery.”

I nodded my understanding. “You got people around here?”

“I’m from the base. These freaks were trying to use us as bargaining chips to get what they have no business having.”

Chuckri came over at hearing that. “You’re from the base? Whiteman?”

“Yeah but … but I’m just civil support. Who are you people? I thought at first you were a rescue squad.” I noticed it was mostly bravado that was keeping her going. She was actually pretty scared.

“Chuckri? Can Joan or Elsapet come give me a hand?”

He caught the look on my face without knowing why but left me to deal with the woman. I turned to her and said, “Look, regardless of who you are, you aren’t going from the frying pan into the fire. If you really did come from the base I’m sure we’ll be able to give you a hand getting back there. And I’m sorry about your friends. Is she one of them?” I asked point to the nearly comatose woman.

“No. She was already here when we were taken. She …,” she shook her head in disgust. “She’s an addict and as long as they supply her she … she …” She shook her head and then whispered, “It’s disgusting but I’ll take her back to base with me and see what can be done. She’s pretty far gone though. It might just be kinder to leave her with a supply and let her OD. Base command has an absolute zero tolerance for recreational drug use. She’ll have to go through DTs and in the condition she is in it might be the death of her anyway.”

That wasn’t my problem and decided to leave that to other folks to deal with. The woman’s name was Carol and I found some better clothes for her from a pile off to the side and while I was doing that I noticed that the pile was huge. There were also piles of shoes, a box of reading glasses, and in fact noticed that there was quite an inventory of odds and ends under the camouflaged canvas tent top.

Carol had just finished covering up when Thor came out of the tall grass with Shoushan. I later found out she had worked as a social services manager at a women’s half way house. She was a no-nonsense kind of person and I hadn’t had a lot of luck getting to know her but she seemed kind to Carol if in a very clinical way so I left to see what else needed doing.

“Thor?” I’d found him looking around the encampment.

He was still in battle mode so I was succinct as I could be. “We aren’t the first people this group has attacked. Carol … the survivor over there … was from Whiteman. And these piles, they remind me too much of the pictures from my world history book in the chapter on what happened to the Jews during World War II.”

In a very clipped voice he said, “Yeah, it was bothering me beyond the obvious. The connection must have occurred to me too subconsciously. Make a quick survey, see what’s here and what might be useful to us. Doesn’t need to be detailed … and look through that pile of shoes to see if there’s anything that will fit you.”

I wanted to object but he’d already gone on to his next priority. I pulled out the little spiral note pad that I had been using to make notes and ideas in and flipped to the back and started making a very general list of what was lying around the encampment. In addition to the piles of clothing, shoes, glasses, hats there was an ammo can of jewelry and I did not want to know where it came from. There was also plastic storage tubs of canned goods divided into vegetables, fruits, meats, soups, and then one of ravioli and things like that. There were also a few tubs of convenience items in other packaging like cardboard and plastic. The best in my opinion were the tubs that held grains and beans; there wasn’t much but with grains cooked the right way a little can go a long way.

I was shaking my head over some weirdness that I’d just noticed when Mrs. Chuckri made her way into the encampment. I saw her and rushed over to make sure the tiny woman could get around all of the trash and debris.

She smiled and said, “I will not break.” Then her smile fell away. “This reminds me too much of my girlhood. The senseless violence, the destruction of human lives, the lack of care for even the most basic human dignity of those they perceive as enemy. I had thought never to see this again.”

I wasn’t sure what to do but I told her, “Maybe you should go back to the caravan.”

“No, my daughters are old enough they should know how to take things in hand. Shoushan told me you were here alone looking over supplies. Is there anything we can do to help? You looked very pensive.”

“It looks like they just opened packages and dumped things together. All of this rice isn’t from the same batch, I can tell by the coloring. And look at this tub of bulk beans. It looks like anytime they ran across dried beans they opened the package and dumped them in here regardless of type.” I shook my head at the mess.

Mrs. Chuckri looked around nearly as helpless as I trying to put things in some type of order. I looked around and didn’t see Thor but Chuckri wasn’t too far away. I waved at him to get his attention. “Thor wanted this generally gone over to see what there is. I’ve got about half of it done. Did he say when or if he wanted it taken to the wagons?”

He nodded, “When you’re ready I’ll send a few of the boys back here. Send the most valuable items first. We found several wagons off in the grass but they’ll have to be cobbled together to get one or two that will actually work.”

I could tell Chuckri wasn’t real happy seeing his mother where she was at and her being back there was making me nervous as well. I couldn’t do what Thor asked me to and protect her at the same time so I asked, “Chuckri, what about your mom organizing where she wants what after the boys have brought it to her?”

“Good idea. Mother?”

Fooled by neither one of us she still graciously admitted defeat and allowed Chuckri to take her back to the caravan. I was finally able to go through the rest of the flotsam. When Chuckri returned with two of his nephews I asked, “Chuckri?”

“Yeah Kid?”

“I … I’ve been afraid to ask. How’s Richards?”

He looked over and gave me a wink. “He’s OK Rocky. It was only a crease on his arm. When he jerked the reins the horse dumped him. He was cussing such a blue streak last time I checked that he had Grandmother swatting him with her fan. Surprised you didn’t hear him back here. Elsapet won’t let him get back on his horse until he’s ready.”

I was relieved. “Hey, can Taniel tell the difference between ammo?”

“I don’t know. Tovmas can, why?”

“Some of this ammo is divided up but most of it looks like it has just been dumped all together. I don’t even recognize some of this stuff.”

At my last observation he came over. “Military. I’ll send Barkley back here to pick that stuff out. We’ll turn it over to the resources at Whiteman and get it off of the market.”

“Shouldn’t we keep it ourselves?”

“Why? We don’t have those kinds of guns and they aren’t practical for what we need. There’s only a handful in there anyway. Not worth it.”

“You’re the boss.”

“Who’s the boss?” came Thor’s growly voice.

After seeing him smile I curtsied and smiled, “Oh you are sir. Of course you are. Why I just don’t know what I was thinking. Silly little ol’ me.” My southern belle falsetto antics had both men laughing out loud.

“And don’t you forget it girly.” After a moment both men pulled themselves together, glad that the brief firefight went our way. He asked me, “Ok, what do you have?”

I told him in general since things had already been moved out to the road. Then Chuckri said, “Problem. Alfonso said we’ll only get one whole wagon and then some parts for the others but he doesn’t have the equipment – or time – to do anything better than that. We are also going to have problems getting animals to pull more than one. We’ll use two of the long horns to pull the new wagon so that we don’t have to take any horses away from people, and Anoush and one of her sons will take turns driving it. It’s not a perfect solution but it is better than none. The shortage of work horses, more than available drivers, is going to be the problem if we try and expand the number of wagons anymore.”

“No more wagons,” Thor said with finality. “We’re moving slow enough as it is. In fact if we hadn’t found this food I’d say not even bother with adding this one but it’s too much weight to add to our existing ones.” He turned to me, “Why are you still in those slippers? Were there not any boots to fit?”

“I haven’t looked yet.”

An impatient grunt met my answer. “Chuckri, if any of your people need clothing or boots tell ‘em to get down here a-sap. I want to be moving east in fifteen minutes.”

Chuckri turned to go back as Thor pointed at the pile of boots and shooed me that direction. “Rochelle, you need to take what you need when you need it as fast as you can instead of just letting other people go first all the time. Tonight I want you to go through those tubs and refill your pack. You take out what you think will be useful and then grab some stuff for my pack as well.”

“Won’t the Chuckris …”

I didn’t even get to finish what I was saying. “I’m helping Tavit Chuckri out of friendship but I’m not going to move all of them without securing something for us. We’ve got a lot miles ahead of us after we drop the rest of them off. I don’t want to have to start from scratch when we hit the trail.” I could have kissed him right then and there but several of the others had started to show up and I’d still needed to find the mates of the two boots that I had found to fit, if fit imperfectly.

It was closer to thirty than fifteen when we finally started moving again much to Thor’s displeasure. I looked around and realized that it was all just beginning to sink in for some of them. Being shot at, killing rather than taking prisoners, taking on another wagon. I figured they’d be having adjustment reactions for some time to come.

The woman Carol was riding in what I had started calling the “elder wagon” as was the other still insensible woman. Thor rode beside it getting as much information from Carol as he could in terms of just how careful we would need to be as we approached Whiteman.

“It is still heavily manned even though many of the bases around the country were allowed to fall. We’re one of the consolidated foreign defense locations. Enough communication equipment was hardened off that we are still in contact with what passes for the federal government these days.”

I heard Thor grill her a little more but it was plain that she’d given up just about all she was going to. Rather than risk getting to the base right as evening fell, Thor decided that we would stay at a little town called Montserrat. It was a skanky little place that had been worked over pretty hard by riots, fire, and salvagers. We circled the wagons south of the railroad tracks and had just told the kids they’d have to wait to set up a latrine until we could scout the area when we heard the click and jack of rifles being trained in our direction.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 36

I turned to grab the horse that one of the older kids had accidentally let loose when they’d become startled and that’s the last thing I remember before hearing some strange man’s voice laughing derisively, “Honestly Thor, when did you start swinging that way? What happened? Did Maggs really spoil you for all other women?”

Now my head felt scrambled but not to the point I didn’t understand the crudeness I was hearing. It wasn’t the first time that I’d been mistaken for a guy but it was the first time that particular assumption had been made. I cracked my eye open and saw some guy with a gun lazily pointed in Thor’s general direction while braying like a mule’s hind end after it ate something that disagreed with it. Two guys had Thor pinned but didn’t have their weapons drawn. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Someone was more than a little over confident.

Trying to see what was going on I rolled my eye to the limits of my peripheral vision and saw there was a group of men and they had our people contained by threatening the kids of the caravan, but again they didn’t seem to be as serious as they should be. A couple of the Chuckri family looked banged up and Alfonso’s nose was running red like a faucet but otherwise I didn’t see anything serious.

The guy talking brought my attention back around. “Drop the altruistic act old friend, you can’t pull it off worth a @#$%. So again I’m gonna ask you, who are you working for?”

When Thor wouldn’t respond one of the guys holding him kicked him in the kidney. Thor grunted painfully but gave his captors as little as possible to satisfy their sadistic streak. I made sure no one got another chance to beat on Thor. I put everything I had into making sure the tip of my steel-toed boot made contact with Mr. Chuckle’s knee resulting in the maximum damage possible.

There was an audible snap and then a shriek. I vaulted up and my not insubstantial fist met one of Thor’s captors upside his head. Thor took the other one down. I didn’t need him to tell me “no mercy” this time.

The guy I’d knee capped was trying to get his weapon aimed and since it had been so satisfying the first time I did him again only this time putting him down with a kick to the temple. I grabbed his weapon but turned to find the crew really didn’t needs guns to be lethal.

Suddenly there was a wrenching pain as my back spasmed; like I was getting swarmed by yellow jackets all in one spot. I swiped my hand back there, felt wires and yanked. I turned and jerked the box they were attached to out of a woman’s hands and then reached for her.

I managed to grab a handful of over processed hair and shook her like a rag doll. She complained loudly. “You can’t do this to me! I’m a woman!!” the little poodle headed female yelled at me.

“So am I you dimwit.” I told her calmly in return as I picked her up and then slammed her down to the ground in a classic wrestling move I’d practiced with a couple of my guy friends much to my mother’s displeasure. My adrenaline level was really pumping as the endorphins practically flew through my system.

Thor and I backed towards each other. I asked, “So what did I miss to wake up to the party already in full swing?”

He groaned, “Don’t play with me right now Rochelle. My heart nearly ripped out of my chest when I saw you go down.”

“OK, then can you at least tell me why I went down? All I remember was grabbing for a horse that was trying to take off.”

I growled, “They shot you with a dart.”

Flabbergasted I responded, “Well apparently their dart was a dud, or close to one. I couldn’t have been out long.”

“You were out freaking forty minutes!” he growled menacingly. “I was beginning to wonder if …” He wouldn’t finish what he was saying but I could imagine. We were too busy trying to see out into the dark to check for any more surprises but I bumped him from the behind and rubbed my shoulders against his back.

When our perimeter had been secured I waited while Thor did his thing and Richards gave me the once over. He found the bruise from the dart on the back of my left arm but that seemed to be the only visible damage. My back hurt worse than my arm did. I gave Alfonso the remains of the wired taser and then asked him, “That guy seemed to know Thor. Who was he?”

“Ask Thor,” was the only answer I got and not just from Alfonso. Even Richards’ lips were sealed tight over the information they obviously had.

When I saw Thor rolling the guy I’d knee capped over I realized that I’d done even more damage than I had meant to. I walked over slowly, throwing a long shadow from the fire that was being put together to light the camp as the sun went down.

“Thor?” I asked hesitantly.

“Don’t you dare regret this Rochelle. He wouldn’t if your places were reversed.”

I thought about that for a moment then asked, “Who was he? He knew you and none of the crew will tell me.”

Rather than answer me he started to walk towards the woman. I grabbed his arm. “Don’t. She’s playing ‘possum. Her eyeballs have been rolling around under her lids.”

A pathetic little moan that would have wrapped most men around her finger issued from her rosebud mouth; it had the opposite effect on me. I told her, “Get a grip or did I knock your brains out as well as your breath?”

I saw her nostrils flare and knew that I’d scored but she was intent on playing her role. She was still acting pathetic though Thor did seem to be keeping his distance. Richards went to go over to her and I asked, “Do you guys have a death wish or something? That chick jabbed me in the back with some voltage. She looks cuddlesome but my guess is she is more like a viper.” Then quick before she could have reacted if she hadn’t been watching and listening I kicked a hot ember at her.

Boy was she quick. She was up and running but I was on her and she went back down, this time with my knees in her back. She made this unladylike oomph noise as the wind left her again.

I looked at all of the guys who were just standing around gapping and said, “What? Are you guys waiting to get your jollies from watching a cat fight or is someone going to give me a hand here?”

It was Shoushan that came over with some rope and helped me tie the woman up and then surprised me by giving her a very thorough pat down and throwing some nasty toys off to the side out of reach. She nodded silently at me and then went back to her family but not before putting a less than sisterly elbow in Chuckri’s side.

I decided sitting on the woman was rather easier to do that watching her try and wiggle off into the bushes. “Now … will someone please explain why the lot of you look like you’ve been hypnotized by a cobra? Or do I get the answers from the beauty queen here?”

Thor raised an eyebrow and asked, “Since when did you start to be so blood thirsty?”

I didn’t have to answer because Pilbos said, “You’ve obviously never seen her play man. She can seriously kick …”

“That’s enough,” I told him mildly but my face must have told him exactly what I would do to him if he didn’t knock off being my defender. One, I didn’t need it and two, I didn’t need it from him. He took the warning good naturedly enough and went over to help his brothers and cousins.

I turned and just continued to look at Thor with my eyebrow raised. He finally broke first with a grin he totally fought giving me. Then he sighed. “The man was Rick Roads, part time contractor, full time mercenary. The woman is his sister, Margaret Roads.”

Well, well, well. “Hmmm. And I take it ‘Maggs’ was a particular friend of yours at some point in the past?”

I got an unhappy grunt. I turned to look at Ms. Maggs and caught her looking daggers at me. “How do you do? My name is Rocky. You even think about sinking your claws into Thor again and I’ll strip the skin from your body and stretch it for curing. Sorry about your brother … oh wait … no I’m not.” That got her kicking up a fuss but all I did was bounce up and down on her a couple of times and she stopped real quick. “That’s better. Now, would you like to answer some questions for the nice men here or do I employ your brother’s methods of persuasion?”

A sudden electrical clicking followed by a intercom squeal had the entire crew going on even higher alert than we already were. Several of the children started crying.

“Hellooo the camp. Carol? Carol Sneed? Are you in harm’s way?”

The woman named Carol suddenly beamed. “Not any more Charlie!” She turned to Thor. “It’s a patrol from Whiteman. I would like to go with them if you’ll give me a hand getting the other woman out of the wagon.”

Maggs was fighting furiously to escape. “My goodness, it’s totally rude to leave the party so soon,” I told her and then I bounced once really hard making the air leave her in a funny bark. “Tut, tut, tut. Miss Manners would be so disappointed.”

I found Thor giving me an odd look but then he was distracted by a man coming out of the bushes waving a white … well, not white exactly but it was close enough … handkerchief. “Carol?” he called.

“Hang on Charlie. Give them some space. You really don’t want to make these guys twitchy.”

Introductions were made and a truce was called which was soon turned into an out and out offer of safe passage when they relayed Carol’s rescue, the destruction of the ambushers, as well as the eradication of what was locally known as the Roads Gang to base command.

The man Charlie said, “We’ll take Maggie Roads back to the base and put her on public trial. Carol and that other woman will be taken to the base hospital for treatment but it will have to wait for morning for our reliefs to get here with a vehicle.”

Alfonso broke in to ask, “You have cars?”

Charlie rolled his eyes, “If you want to call them that. We cobbled together some stripped down buggies to use as haulers outside of the base. I’d as soon make Maggie here crawl but Carol and that other woman aren’t in the shape for walking and we avoid riding the horses double when we can help it; we’ve found it puts both rider and passenger at too much risk.”

Charlie and his group continued their patrol while our camp made to go to sleep. I personally took a great deal of pleasure in using way more rope than necessary to secure Maggs to a handy lamp post. While no one was looking I also added two more strips of duct tape across her mouth. Yes, I knew I was being vindictive. Yes, I knew that I was acting like a jealous shrew. I won’t make excuses for it but I will say that I would not have been too keen on anyone that had been part of treating me first like a zoo animal and then second like a science experiment.

I was debating whether I wanted to throw my bedroll out and sit on it to keep watch on the woman or whether I’d just remain standing when Thor took the decision out of my hands. Barkley was set to watch the prisoner since he’d never fallen for her.

“Are you telling me he is the only one?” I asked incredulous that such seemingly smart men could behave in such a brainless way.

“No.” The quietly he said, “Evans never liked her at all.”

“Oh.”

Caught in a moment of grieving I looked up to realize Thor had pulled me off to the dark side of the camp. “Hey what …”

Thor was pulling my shirt tail out. “Hold still. I want to check to make sure you aren’t hurt.”

“Richards already checked and …”

Then his hands were where they shouldn’t have been and I ended on a strangled sigh. “You have got to stop doing that.”

“Why?”

“Because.”

“Not a good enough reason. Does this hurt?”

“You know doggone good and well it doesn’t hurt and in fact feels just the opposite. You’re doing that on purpose just to drive me crazy. How am I supposed to think when you insist on not behaving?”

“I thought I already told you … I always behave, I just don’t always behave well.”

I snorted and finally found the wherewithal to put his hands someplace safer for both of us. “You never did get around to telling me how you knew that man … and his sister.”

Thor sighed deeply. “Rochelle there are some things I’m just going to leave in the past and how I met up with those two is one of ‘em. Suffice it to say that we were assigned to work together before I knew what their character was and in the process I made some choices I wished I could unmake. The only regret I don’t have over it is that it made me a wiser man in several different ways.” He held me, kissed my temple, and then asked, “Can you let me leave it at that?”

“Are you over her?”

“Yes.”

“You sure?”

“Very yes.”

I thought about it and then said, “OK … but I make no promises not to get a little jealous and thump you hard if you start saying her name in your sleep. You don’t even want to know what I’ll do to you if you accidentally call me by her name.” He smiled and kissed me like he thought I was joking. I didn’t do anything to change his mind even though I knew that I wasn’t.

The next morning it was barely light but our camp was ready to roll and only waiting on Charlie’s relief patrol to show up so that they could provide the safe escort that was promised. He came up and said, “Look, there’s a farmer’s market of sorts going on today and tomorrow in Knob Noster. There’s been a fair amount of trading going on and it would give the Major time to get out here and talk to you as well. He’s authorized me to get you set up in one of the buildings reserved for any base personnel that wants to attend the market. You’ll have the place to yourself as we have two such lots but we rarely need them both at the same time. The Major really wants to talk to you.”

Thor looked at Uncle Bedros who nodded slightly. Turning back to Charlie, “This place have space for our wagons and animals?”

“Yeah,” he said. “The one that I’ll lead you to has a tall chain link fence in the back. It was a building supply warehouse. We use it when we take the haulers to town. You’ll have to bed down on bare floor though. We stripped the inside when it got overrun by fleas. Watch any little ones you have, there might still be some borax around the baseboards.”

I was curious but not particularly thrilled by another delay. My back and arm was also sore. My lack of enthusiasm must have shown.

“You don’t want to spend the day shopping?” Thor teased.

I gave him the dead eye look. “Shopping brings me no pleasure and never has. You try finding appropriate female attire for this body a few times and you’d feel the same way.”

He made a face that told me he hadn’t thought of it like that. “OK, but why don’t you look around and see if there is anything that we could use. We’ll work out paying for it somehow.”

I just looked at him. When he didn’t get it I raised my eyebrows. He still didn’t get it. I looked at him harder and then jerked my head towards the saddle bags on my horse. I rolled my eyes when he finally got it.

“Just hang onto that. You might not need it. I’ve got some stashed away.”

My mouth fell open. “Oh please tell me you aren’t going all guy on me are you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Oh yes he did.

I sighed and grabbed his hand and pulled him so that we could have a little privacy without getting stared at in case we were about to have another fight. “Thor … OK, instead of lying to me or telling me what you think I want to hear, just explain it to me. If I don’t like what I hear then we’ll deal with it but c’mon … don’t treat me like a kid. I thought we were passed that at least.”

He looked at me before saying, “A guy wants to provide certain things for his woman.”

“Yeah. Got that. Watched my dad do the whole he-man thing with my mom. But what’s this all about?”

“I just told you,” he said.

“No. You just told me one of the few things I already knew about guys in general. But we’re not talking about guys in general. We are talking about you in particular.”

He was losing his patience. “I’ve really got to spell it out for you?”

“Isn’t that I what I just said? C’mon Thor … I wouldn’t ask if I understood. Give me some credit that I wouldn’t be annoying you just to get a reaction. I’m not senile. I want to do what works for both of us. I’m not liking what I’m hearing but I’ll back off if it is something non-negotiable. But if it is something non-negotiable I at least deserve some kind of explanation I can understand. Doncha think?”

He leaned against a tree and just looked at me. Then chuffed a small laugh and shook his head. “Rochelle, I’m following you to your land, to your home. What do I have to offer compared to what you’ve already got? A guy likes to bring something to the table and provide something that keeps his pride from getting eat up.”

I looked at him finally getting it. “OK but before I completely cave here I want to remind you of a few somethings. You’ve been bringing stuff to the table since the beginning. One, you’ve been giving me your protection in one form or another whether I thought I needed it or not … even when I wasn’t being completely forthcoming about who and what I was. Two, despite all the problems associated with the who and what of being me you’ve still offered me more acceptance than 99.9% of the human population pre-collapse and post-collapse and Evans’ death you are now registering at 100%. Three, and don’t expect me to say this too often while we are in company, I am so hot for your bod in a way I’ve never experienced before that I still feel jealous enough of that wench to go take her head off. Four …”

I never got to four as Thor decided to take the conversation in a different direction. By the time I was allowed to come up for air I’d forgotten what four was supposed to be. “Rochelle … what do you do to me?”

“I think you’ve asked me that before. I still don’t have a clue.” I don’t know how he expected me to answer and make sense when I was still clearing the stars from my eyes.

“Just check the market out. We’ll deal with the other on a case-by-case basis. But I won’t be a kept man. Just remember that.”

Determined to tease him into a slightly less serious state of mind I said, “Kept man? You mean I don’t get to keep you? So, are we talking a short term or long term lease then because I really …”

“… am about to get turned over my knee,” he finished. “Stop teasing me or you’re going to wind up making us all late.”

I smiled as I stepped back out of his reach before telling him, “We’re already late. What’s a few more minutes?”

He growled, “It’d be more than a few minutes.” Then he made a playful grab at me and I knew we were all right again. Geez, learning all of this guy stuff was a lot harder than I had thought it was going to be. Being friends with a guy was turning out to be a lot different than being a lot more than friends with him.

It was about three miles from Montserrat and Knob Noster but I think I could have walked it faster with both my legs in casts than the speed we drove it. We finally got off of 50 and turned onto Hwy 132 and then over to a building that faced a green space that was rapidly filling with people.

Charlie said, “We’ll go get you guys settled and then leave you alone for a bit. If you’re willing, the Major will be around later this afternoon. The market will run two days and I know from experience people sometimes wait until the second day to bring the best stuff out. Oh … and just got a call with the info that the barometer is falling so it looks like we might be in for a storm. We can get humdingers this time of year so keep an eye out.”

With the incentive of getting a chance at the market, setting up an indoor camp went more quickly and smoothly than it had up to that point. People were soon divided up into groups and we began to take turns seeing what was available.
 

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 37

Well la de da, some folks sure do think a lot of their junk once they put it on sale. And looking around at the other shoppers I saw that I wasn’t the only one just rubbernecking through the booths. There was a lot of picking up and looking but very little actual buying going on, at least at the tables and blankets on the side of the market I entered first.

The market was a maze of people, wagons, blankets, and folding tables and containers holding items for sale. At first it appeared to be nothing more than pick-a-spot-where-you-could-find-one but in actuality it was fairly organized despite initial appearances. If you could have gotten a look from above you would have seen that the market was set up in a large square grid pattern. At every major “avenue” and “intersection” there were people that controlled the chaos – for a cut of the profits naturally – and I saw “enforcers” going around making sure things stayed on the up and up and any ruckus was squelched and dealt with quickly. People were encouraged to keep their casual conversations to a minimum or to take them outside the market to a picnic area that had been set up just outside the four gates into the market.

The four sections that made up the square were broken down into small, medium, and large lots where people rented space to barter or sell their items. The four sections were further organized into types of items being sold or bartered. I’d entered through the “household goods” gate and that term could be applied to just about anything from useless brick-a-brack to toys and sporting goods to books to more useful kitchen tools. There was a sub-section devoted to linens and clothing and another to shoe, boots, and head gear. Most of that area would trade back and forth in barter goods and the deals were only limited to your ability to haggle. There were also a large number of booths devoted to gardening where you could buy plant starts, seeds, garden implements, and there was even a booth there that was doing soil and water testing.

Then there were the areas that were “cash-only.” For example, there was a section for hunting and fishing and it had a couple of booths where guys were selling and producing reloads. There was a gunsmith and a gun dealer too. This area of the market had an extra heavy security detail. Some of it seemed to be provided by the market managers but some of them also looked like private security forces. They wore the same aura that Thor and our crew wore like a second skin. If we hadn’t found that ammo from the ambushers’ camp I would have been doing some serious bargaining at the reloading benches but as it was I had plenty and I knew that unless something had gone wrong Dad’s stuff would still be waiting on me at the farm.

The other area where it was primarily cash-only was the food booths. There were lots of booths with lots of fresh produce, a few baked goods tables, a table that was doing a heck of a business selling cheese, and then the big wagons that were selling grains and root crops by the bushel full. I just hung out for a while trying to figure things out. Finally I gave up the courage and just approached one of the security guys and asked for some directions to someone that could tell me what the exchange rate was.

I must have startled the guy because he jumped and then grinned, “Hey! You’re a girl.”

“Uh … yeah … last time I checked anyway.”

“Wait … you’re with that crew that took out the Roads Gang.”

Oh brother did that ever that start everyone rubbernecking at me. I tried to get out of there but there was no getting after people started cornering me with questions.

“Um, hey, look everybody I just … you know … want to see about some supplies for my group. If someone could just explain those little round coins y’all are using …”

“I’ll explain ‘em to you if you’d like to come over here,” a middle aged man told me.

“No! I’ll do it!” a guy standing at the booth next to him said.

A third guy tried to get in on the action with an affronted, “Hey! You can’t have her all to yourselves.”

I was getting a little freaked out. “That’s enough! I ain’t never had a buncha boys fight over me my whole life and I’m not about to start. This is getting silly. I’ll just come back when everyone is in a better frame of mind.”

I went to leave and ran nose first into Thor’s shoulder. “Now you show up? Really?” I complained at him.

He realized I was upset for real and not just playing and he asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

He raised an eyebrow in disbelief before saying, “That’s the somethingest ‘nothing’ I think I’ve ever heard from you.”

I wasn’t in the mood. “Knock it off Thor. Let’s just go.”

I tried to get through the crowd but too many people were still nosing in my direction. I did not like it at all and am not ashamed to say stuck to Thor like a burr. “Did someone upset you?” he asked starting to go all growly where anyone nearby could hear.

“Don’t start. It’s bad enough that some of those ol’ boys were acting like I was a bone to be fought over. I don’t need you acting just as bad. I swear there has got to be something in the air all of a sudden. I never had to deal with this kind of silliness before.” I really wasn’t in the mood. I hated being stared at and there seemed to be way too many people doing it. I know some people would wonder how I played football if I didn’t like being watched but that was different. I can’t explain just how it was different but it was.

Obviously though I’d activated Thor’s protective gene and he started giving the folks I’d backed away from what I called the Viking Eye. Give the man a sledgehammer and he might have passed for his namesake only without the winged helmet you used to see in the comic books. Well, without the cute spandex outfit though I had a good imagination … a really good imagination; made me wonder what Thor would look like in a football uniform. I wound up having to shake my head to clear it and give myself a really good talking to.

After Thor made his claim on me obvious this one older man grinned good naturedly and said, “Well, you can’t blame ‘em for trying. You’re woman is a right sturdy thing and luckily ain’t that hard on the eyes. Story says she’s also good at taking care of herself. Several men around these parts are needin’ a wife like that and all the ones that are available right now are puny little things whot needs too much taking care of. A man needs to bring himself less work, not more.”

After I’d heard that bit of nonsense I’d been completely happy had a hole opened up under me so long as I got to pull it in afterwards to hide myself. Thor didn’t help when he said, “You bet she can look after herself and any man fool enough to think otherwise ain’t long for this world.”

Now it was my turn to give Thor the eye. I said through gritted teeth, “You are not helping at all. Knock … it … off.” All I got in return was an unrepentant grin.

Suddenly it became a guys’ club and everyone was all joking and carrying on … more than a few times at my expense. I suppose I could have made a fuss but they reminded me too much of the men where I grew up. As long as they were making a bunch of noise they were fairly harmless. When they got quiet is when you needed to watch them.

We got a good story after the men finally got around to explaining the little coins they were using. Turns out that it was too complicated for people to accept jewelry as payment despite the fact that is what most people had their gold and silver in the form of so what the local economy did was to start melting the jewelry down and turning it into stamped blanks that were various sizes and karats which corresponded with a certified weight.

What most people did was turn in their jewelry and real silverware to the blank makers who would melt it and pour it, weigh it and stamp it. That standardized everything making trade easier.

One of the men that had embarrassed me earlier said, “Don’t get it wrong though, real coins still are worth more than these stamped blanks.” He held up a couple of the plain metal disks. “Any one of us will take a real coin over a blank during any deal for obvious reasons.”

Hearing that I nearly grinned. I’d already taken several of the coins out of the money belts I still habitually wore. Thor had asked me about them but we really hadn’t gotten into particulars. I think he assumed it was something that had belonged to Evans. I was going to have to explain things in more detail but not until I had worked on him some about the money issue. As it was I was hoping that he’d forgive me for what I proceeded to do.

I asked, “You mean like this?” I reached down into Thor’s front pocket making him jump and then pulled out a silver coin that I’d “found” there. He stiffened up and made to grab my hand which really added to the act and made it more convincing.

Thor got some good natured ribbing about leaving his wallet where his woman could get at it but he was also suddenly taken much more seriously in terms of barter. I sat back and watched a master haggler at work. He got wheat, corn, some potatoes, and beans and even managed to get some bulk rice.

Uncle Bedros and Ludvig had come up during the haggling and when it was all done they agreed to pay Thor for the greater bulk of what he’d managed to obtain. They couldn’t pay in coin but they’d work out something. After everything was agreed on Ludvig went to get a couple of helpers and they hauled the food stuff to our quarters for the evening. Thor and I walked towards the other areas of the market and he bought us a couple of sausages on sticks, paying for this with a couple of .22 bullets.

“Rochelle …”

Trying to head off any problems I said, “I knew you could do it. Gosh those guys were making me uncomfortable. Who would have ever thought in a million years that someone would think of me as a real girl so quickly. And did you see Uncle Bedros’ face?”

“Rochelle … give it up.” I calmed down waiting for the explosion but instead he put his arm around me and then pulled me in close enough that he stole a bite of the sausage that I’d been eating.

“Hey!”

He just laughed wickedly and I could only roll my eyes and grin in relief.

“Rochelle.”

“Yeah?”

He leaned in close to my ear and said, “You can stick your hands in my pockets anytime you want to.”

“Oh you!” I said and then tried to push him away but he refused to go. He just laughed at my outrage and we both ended up laughing and just enjoying the next couple of hours as we went from table to table. It was the closest I’d ever really come to doing something couple-y. The time spent with Jonathon didn’t count as I realized for me it had still all been about friendship and nothing else. It was nice but kind of funny too. We must have made quite a picture as people tended to scramble out of our way pretty quick as we walked along.

Most of the stuff we saw really was just flotsam leftover from the way people used to live their daily lives but there were a few decent things; we did manage to pick up a few things like some small waxed cheeses, some dried sausage sticks and jerky, a half pound of salt, and Thor traded a pocket knife he’d picked off one of the ambushers for a pile of hair doodads for me. Not long after that Richards walked up with Elsapet.

“That Major is waiting over at the camp. You want me to tell him to pound sand or you gonna meet with him?”

Thor didn’t take a half second to change gears and go all business, leaving to go tend to our obligations. But he told me, “Finish out your turn. No sense in both of us going back.”

The market wasn’t near as fun after he’d left. Richards and Elsapet wandered away together leaving me grinning for the moment over the idea that Thor and I weren’t the only ones taking advantage of time out from under the strict eyes of the Chuckri elders. It wasn’t that they were rude or mean, but it was certainly like being babysat by the preacher’s wife on occasion. I did manage to make a good sized deal of my own but Thor pitched kittens after he found out how it had come about.

I was going through the aisles faster than I had when Thor had been with me, making note of a few items here and there that I would come back for tomorrow to see if the price had come down. I had stopped to look at a pile of denim material and sheets of leather because several of the crew were wearing thin spots in their gear but I lost my train of thought when something caught my eye. I’d noticed these two guys when Thor was around because people seemed to be giving them a wide berth the same as they did us. I caught the guy behind the table watching them as well and refusing to meet my eyes when I dickered with him about the price.

I had been the butt of too many attempted practical jokes to miss that something was up. I decided that it was as good a time as any to head back to camp but I decided to do it the long way around just to be on the safe side. Unfortunately I couldn’t shake the two guys. I got held up by an argument at another table blocking the walkway and then they were soon crowding me.

“Hey, back up already,” I told them trying to bluff my way out of it.

“Now what is a pretty little thing like you doing out here all alone?” one of the guys asked, only he didn’t really mean what he was saying. I could tell by his tone that he was doing his best to insult me with the opposite meaning.

The other one tried to come up behind me but I kept moving to avoid it. “All right, what is it you guys are after?”

The second guy said, “I like her. Direct. To the point. Saves us some time.”

“Maggs said play with her,” the first guy responded.

“Yeah, well Maggs isn’t here and this is boring. Let’s do her and go have some fun.”

“Fine,” the first guy agreed. He turned his full attention back to me and said, “Maggs sent us to give you a present. Hope you enjoy it.”

Then they both rushed me. Idiots. They failed to know their enemy. These guys weren’t small but they weren’t big either. Mostly they won their fights by being bullies and using fear and intimidation. I’d spent a few years going up against guys bigger than I was and who packed a whole lot more weight than those two little rats did. The one thing that I didn’t like was that the first guy had a knife. I focused my attention on staying out of his reach.

Our ruckus melted into the fight that the argument behind me had turned into. Then the whole thing turned into a regular brawl. But those enforcers knew their job and soon they had everyone contained. I didn’t fight them. I had noticed earlier in the day if you just stopped and let them do their job they didn’t beat on you and I was ready to just let them take care of the two guys since I didn’t have any back up from the crew.

One of the enforcers just shook his head. “You know, I’m getting tired of this. All of you head to the ring. Now.” Not knowing what the “ring” was I was more than reluctant to go, especially as some of the brawlers started to look nervous.

Outside the market on the extreme outer edge of the picnic area was an honest to goodness fight ring only it was for caged fighting. “Please tell me I’m seeing things,” I mumbled under my voice.

One of the enforcers overheard me and said, “Sorry to disappoint you sweetheart.”

“You people are really going to make us fight? I didn’t want a fight in the first place. I was attacked.”

He shrugged, “Then you must have done something to provoke the fight. Playing one guy off the other maybe?”

“Are you kidding?! Look at me. I’m not exactly what you call a fem fatale. This is ridiculous.”

“Doesn’t matter either way. When you entered the market you agreed to the rules of how we operate. We have a strict code about disrupting other people’s business. One of the possible penalties is doing time in the ring. You just happened to draw the short straw.”

I snorted getting irritated and concerned in equal measure. “OK, what are the rules?”

“Only one rule. Winner walks away.”

I couldn’t possibly have heard right. “Excuse me?”

A female enforcer walked over and looked at me in some sympathy. She turned to the other guy and said, “I’ll handle it. Why don’t you go help Ernie deal with those three crybabies up front.” She turned to me and said, “Can you take a beating?”

“You’re kidding. Right?”

“No Hon, I’m not. They treat women that try to start trouble extra harsh around here so if you don’t want to go before the Council and likely get … worse … I’d just try and hang on as long as I could in the ring. Think of this as the Roman Coliseum but we don’t usually let the fights go to the death.”

“Usually?! Do I look like a freaking gladiator to you?” At her honest perusal and look I told her, “Never mind. Are weapons involved or are we just supposed to beat the snot out of each other?”

“No guns but anything else you have on you is fair game.”

“Lovely. Just do me a favor. If a big guy shows up – about a head taller than me – stay out of his way because he is so not going to be a happy camper. Don’t even bother trying to talk to him. Between him and the rest of the crew you’ll have your hands full.” I shook my head at Thor’s likely reaction.

“Crew?”

“Yeah, he’s over talking to some Major or other from Whiteman. Crud. Looks like they are really going to dump us all together,” I said watching the action at they started forcing all of the people they’d caught into the ring at the same time. I turned back to the woman, “Like I said, if he shows up, just get out of the way. Fewer people will get hurt that way.”

She started to say something else but one of her co-workers got behind me with a rifle and I figured it wasn’t worth getting shot over to find out what she’d been saying. Besides I needed all my attention on what was about to happen in the ring.

What a mess. I thought at first that it would be every man for themselves but it turned out that people would gang up. The strongest would gang up on the weakest. The weakest would gang up trying to take out one strong guy at a time. I dodged and weaved for a few minutes managing to stay out of the worst of it though I did wind up having to toss a couple of people over the fence when they tried to play rough. The two guys that had gotten me tossed into the Mad Hatter’s tea party were tracking me again and I could see they were trying to make their move so I decided it was time for me to make mine. I just hoped my head was up for it. I did not relish the idea of running into the cyclone fence posts at full speed.

My primary objective was to take out the guy that had the knife first. It turned out to be relatively easy. I simply bull dozed him into one of the heavy metal support posts. I definitely missed my pads and helmet but the guy’s middle was fairly squishy so the landing wasn’t that bad. Guy #2 was harder because he kept using other people to shield himself with. Then some guy jumped on my back and all heck broke loose.

I never did see who took out the second guy but it wasn’t me. By the time I had a chance to notice the fighters were down to just three with me being one of them. The other two turkeys tried to tag team me but they were running out of steam. They got in some good licks but I eventually managed to grab them both by the scruffs of the necks and slam them together. It sounded like I was knocking two sticks of wood together when their foreheads met. They still had a little bit of wiggle to them so I did it once more and then another time after that for good measure.

I looked around and there was no one left standing inside the ring. I spit and saw pink and was tempted to cuss then figured I had enough to ask forgiveness for though Dad had always said that a thought was as good as the deed when it came to sinning. Yep, I was in trouble.

I was finally able to shake off most of the adrenaline still pumping through my system at light speed and kept waiting for someone to say something.

“What?” I snarled. “Do I have to knock myself out too to escape from this zoo cage?”

The woman that had explained things ran up and jerked the keys out of the hand of a guy that was just standing there with his mouth hanging open. “I … cannot believe …. (oomph, dang this lock needs some graphite) … that you’re still standing. Most of the time even the winners look like they’re about to pass out.”

There wasn’t anything worth saying to that and I was still trying to get my anger under control. I didn’t want any more trouble and acting like an enraged giantess was a sure way to get it.

“Hey … that guy never showed up.”

“Yeah, so I see. Lucky for you. I’m stuck still having to explain this to him.”

I tried to walk off but she stopped me. “Hey, don’t you want it?”

“Want what?”

“The prize.”

I looked at her. “There’s a prize? What for?”

“Incentive.”

I just shook my head. “You’d think not getting the crud beat out of yourself would be incentive enough.”

She laughed, “Some of these ol’ boys are too hard headed to get that so there’s an incentive.”

I wanted to tell her hard headed isn’t what I would call people around those parts. Insane was more like it but I was too busy mopping the blood off my chin where someone had run into my nose with their head and caused it to turn into a faucet and trying to feel if my eyes was bruised or just sore where someone else had caught me on the side of my head with their shoe … luckily a tennis shoe and not a boot.

Everyone was pretty much keeping their distance. I was tempted to turn around and growl at them and give them crazy face just to see if I could make any of them run but I figured that would be taking things a little too far.

“Well, tell me what this incentive is so I can get going. I’m late as it is.”

She laughed, really laughed. Apparently she was enjoying how a bunch of guys were now scared of some girl. “You know, I’ve warned them for months that one of these days some woman was going to turn around and give them what for. I do believe there will be a change in attitude just as soon as this story gets around.”

“Gee, so glad I could aid your cause.”

She just laughed more and walked me over to an older man who didn’t say squat but gave me a drawstring bag and then hurried away.

“Odds are made and bets placed at the beginning of the fight. The more people fighting the greater the odds and the higher the betting pool gets. Each fighter has a bet placed in their own name and the winner gets that as the prize. The more likely a person is to win, the smaller the prize, and vice versa. No one figured you’d be the one to be left standing.”

I opened the drawstring and said, “No kidding.” There was a pretty good pot of the market currency in that little bag.

“I’d get rid of it as quick as you can. Spend it back into the community. That usually builds good will and all is forgiven. Actually, I’ve gotta go myself … you won me a nice little pot and I have a man that I’m going to spend it on.”

She left with a smile on her face and I ignored everyone else the best I could and headed to one of the stands that I had meant to go back to the next day. Honey. The real stuff. The stand had several barrels of it but it was nearly worth its weight in gold and silver. I had only meant to get my bear filled back up but with the prize I bought a five gallon bucket full causing quite a stir. The owner of the stand even gave me a discount because he’d won some money on the fight.

That blasted bucket was heavy so I hiked it up onto my shoulder and headed back to camp. When I got there I was really nervous about facing Thor. I even thought of hiding out for a while ‘til it got dark so my face wouldn’t look quite so rough but I heard thunder and felt the first couple of drops of rain as I stood there debating. I ultimately decided just to face the music; the sooner confessed the sooner mended.

I entered the warehouse and said to Thor’s back, “Hey Sugar, you’ll never guess what …”

Then he turned around. Uh oh. It appeared that the tale had reached him sooner than I expected.
 

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 38

It was two in the morning and I still hadn’t been able to sleep. I had an hour left on my shift and I was cringing at the thought of it ending. For the most part I had kept myself together and done my duty after the blow up with Thor but I knew I’d need to deal with it sooner rather than later and I wasn’t looking forward to letting myself feel anything.

The only concession he made was when I quietly asked that if he was going to call me on the carpet to at least do it in private. I was prepared to suck it up and take it like a grown up. I knew he was going to be upset. I thought he’d get some growling in and then I’d be able to tell him my side of things and then we’d work it out and I’d … I don’t know, I just knew that I was willing to do a lot to keep him from being angry at me. But I never got the chance.

He kept getting nastier and nastier and angrier and angrier. Every time I tried to say something he told me to shut up and not make excuses. After about the fifth or sixth time he said it I just didn’t bother trying any more. Then he started in with how disappointed he was and how could he have been so stupid to make such a mistake again. Again. Maggs I thought, or maybe he had a slew of women in his past … and now I was just another something in his past.

I wanted to get angry. I looked hard inside myself to find some, and if not anger something to fight with but I had nothing left. I’d stripped away all of my protective coloring thinking I didn’t need it anymore, at least not with him. The rest of my energy had gone into the fight. I was just spent. I didn’t have anything left to give.

I just stopped listening at that point. I heard what he was saying but I was trying to keep out the feelings that the meanings of the words were causing. I guess he thought I was blowing him off. He grabbed my arm and he just happen to hit the bruise left over from the dart. The pain penetrated my calm and I must have made a face because he dropped my arm like it was a hot coal and backed away from me. The look of disgust on his face hurt more than all the rest of it put together. He turned and left and I was a long time trying to pull myself together and not let out any of the tears that were trying to escape.

There wasn’t anything to do. I turned to go out to the main area and separate my gear from his. It was really strange how fast our stuff had gotten mixed together in such a short time. Shoushan came over while I was busy trying to act normal.

“Did he hit you?” she asked quietly.

Startled I asked, “What?”

“Did … Thor … hit … you?” she repeated.

Affronted I said, “Of course not.”

She nodded her head. “Good. I wasn’t sure about him. Even when they don’t mean to hurt you big guys like that sometimes don’t know their own strength.” She continued to look at me while I carefully tried to remain polite as every second ticking by felt like a strip of flesh was being peeled from my body. “You should let Elsapet look at you.”

“I’m fine. It’s just surface stuff.”

She nodded again. “The hurt you’re feeling won’t be helped by salve or bandaids.”

I stopped for a moment, not looking at her. “No. No it won’t. Um, do me a favor? Tell your mother to have someone put that bucket in the food wagon; it’s full of honey.”

“You fought for honey?” she asked stupefied.

“No. I fought to keep my head from being bashed in. The honey was an unexpected bonus.”

“So the fight wasn’t your idea,” she muttered.

“No,” I told her, unwilling and unable to explain myself while I was feeling the way I did.

“You should explain it to Tavit. He can …”

“No. Look Shoushan, I … I appreciate what you’re trying to do but … better to deal with this now than later when it would just hurt worse. It seems like it was bound to happen one way or the other.” Only I couldn’t imagine it hurting worse. There was no way that anything could hurt worse than I was feeling right then.

After I’d finished packing and then thrown it in another corner I’d tried to go outside but the rain was really pelting. As bad as it was raining there wasn’t any going back in. I climbed the cat walk and went up a level and decided to try and nonchalantly watch it rain though an opaque window.

I was up there I don’t know how long before someone joined me. “Pilbos, I don’t mean to be rude but I’m not in the mood. OK?”

“No. I mean I understand.” After a slight pause he said, “I’m sorry.”

I turned to look at him and then it clicked. “You were the one that blabbed before I had a chance to explain things.”

He looked very uncomfortable but also rather defiant. “I didn’t know he was going to react like … like he did. I thought it was totally cool how you won and I only got the story second hand. One girl against all those guys. Best caged fight battle ever if the stories are true.”

“I wasn’t there because I wanted to be,” I told him.

“Yeah, that’s what Shoushan said but … I don’t get it. If you didn’t want to fight how did you wind up in the ring?”

I looked at him and just sighed when I admitted to myself he wasn’t just going to go away without some kind of explanation. “Apparently it doesn’t matter who starts a fight, if you’re in one the local enforcers spread the blame around and everyone experiences equal opportunity punishment.”

“So who did you start the fight with?”

I rolled my eyes. “I told you, I didn’t start a fight. Two guys were hassling me and then ran us into another bunch that were already fighting. All of us got thrown in together.”

“Why didn’t you say something? They wouldn’t have made you fight if it wasn’t your fault. I mean, you could use the girl card and gotten out of it.”

I snorted and my bruised nose zinged making me cringe. “One, they don’t care about the girl card … because frankly I tried it a little bit. And two, I already told you it doesn’t matter if you start the fight or not, they feel like they are going to be the ones to meet out punishment however they feel necessary. Apparently it’s on the rule placard at each gate but I never read it.”

“Well then, why were two guys bothering you? That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Pilbos I told you …”

“Look, I’m trying to understand. Uncle Bedros is already on my case. He called me a gossipy old woman. Can you believe that?!”

Beginning to lose my patience I told him, “I would have paid good money to see it. Now lay off will you. It was bad enough going through it the first time; I don’t want to relive it.”

“But what happened?”

“The Wicked Witch of the … where ever she’s from … happened. It was paybacks. Now will you leave me alone?” We were both being quiet – the warehouse echoed – but I was just about to get loud if that is what it took.

“Wait … the Roads woman … she had a hand in this? How did she do that? I thought that Charlie guy was going to put her in jail. We have to say something.”

“No ‘we’ don’t. You are going to be quiet about this and you are going to leave me alone. Got it?”

He was obviously confused. “But why? If you tell Thor, he’ll see it wasn’t your fault. I heard Tavit telling Tov and Sog about that man and his sister. They were a couple of backstabbers. Thor will figure out it was really that woman’s fault and you two … you know … you’ll get back together.”

“No. The fight wasn’t just about … about this afternoon and what happened. Thor said some things that … I guess everyone heard some of the things he said. I thought he’d accepted me for who and what I am. I guess I was wrong. I don’t think he really meant some of the things the way they sounded but I’m not about to go ask him either. Besides he is right about one thing, disaster seems to follow me wherever I go and people get hurt.”

After just looking at me Pilbos said, “You’re taking off. Because of this.”

“I don’t know. Right now I want to but I don’t know if it is for the right reasons. Tomorrow I’m going to talk to your Uncle and … and we’ll see from there. Either way I think maybe … maybe … oh I don’t know what I think. I don’t want to think at all right now.”

Suddenly serious he said, “You should still tell Thor. That it wasn’t your fault. Don’t you think he has the right to know?”

“It isn’t a matter of him having the right to know or not. I know Thor. If I tell him then he’ll feel bad. He’ll want to make things right. He’s that kind of guy. And right now … I’d probably jump at the chance to … to be with him again. But I’d never know … and he’d never know … if we got back together for the right reason.” I looked at Pilbos. “I’ve never had a boyfriend. And to be honest Thor isn’t a boy, he’s a man. I never even got my learner’s permit on how to handle this sort of stuff. I don’t know how this is supposed to play out but I do know that I still … still care enough that I don’t want to hurt him just for the sake of proving something.”

“Then I’ll say something,” he told me, indignant.

“No you won’t,” I told him calmly. “He won’t want to believe you and it could be a case of shooting the messenger. He and Chu … um Tavit … have finally ironed everything out and are friends again. If Thor … look, just let it go. The whole thing is just … it’s just not worth the trouble it could cause. Besides, I’ll have to … say something to you … if you blab. Got it?”

He finally left just shaking his head. Then Chuckri showed up and I got ready for another fight. Instead he was just calmly telling me I had midnight watch. He had scheduled me cover the front door. As he was turning away I asked, “Chuckri? Can … can I have the roof? Instead of the front door.” I was embarrassed that my voice sounded like I was practically begging. But I guess when it comes right down to it that’s what I was doing.

“So you can throw yourself off?” I looked up but he was only half kidding.

I shrugged. “No. Look … nothing against your family but …” I stopped because I sounded real closed to being a complainer. I straightened my voice up and then continued. “I would like the roof position please.”

He looked at me but only asked, “Why?”

I sighed. “Because … because people are looking at me, on the roof no one can see me.”

“After what happened did you really think people weren’t going to look at you?”

Trying to explain without explaining I told him, “If they were mad at me or disgusted or anything else I’d deal with it. It’s not like I haven’t seen it all before. But I can’t take pity. I can take anything but that. And that’s the way they’re looking at me. Please, I’ll forfeit my turn at the market tomorrow or whatever else it takes. I just … can’t … deal with them … watching me with pity in their eyes. Now right now.”

“Alright, under one condition.”

I probably would have agreed to anything by that point but I wasn’t stupid so I asked, “What?”

“Explain it to me. Pilbos is upset and it’s not just from the lecture he got from Uncle and Ludvig. So give. What’s going on?”

Refusing to meet his eyes I said with as little inflection as possible, “Two guys started something with me. I tried to avoid a confrontation but they wouldn’t let up. I was forced to defend myself. We fell into another fight. The market has some wonky rules that whether you start a fight or not you’re still guilty of fighting. We all got thrown together in that stupid cage and it was either fight or get pounded. I don’t like getting pounded unless there’s a football involved. End of story.”

“Did you tell Thor this?”

I huffed, “I thought that was your only condition. I told you what happened. If you don’t believe me apparently the rules are out there for everyone to read before they go into the market.”

Quietly he asked again, “Did you tell this to Thor?”

“You heard what was said. Apparently everyone heard what was said. It wasn’t really about the fight and you and I both know it.”

“Are you sure?” he asked but when I looked at him dead in the eye neither one of us could deny that I was right.

“Just drop it Chuckri. If you don’t want me on the roof, fine. I’ll deal with it. I’ll …”

“You go on at midnight. You relieve Tovmas.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. As he was turning away I said, “Thanks.”

“Yeah Kid, sure.”

“Chuckri? Don’t say anything. It won’t do any good and … and it would just hurt him. It’s … it’s over. Don’t make a bigger mess for me to have to clean up. OK?”

He looked at me, “You sure that’s what you want?”

“No. But it’s the way it’s got to be.”

“You leaving?”

“I don’t know. I already told Pilbos that I want to talk to your uncle first.”

He nodded. “That’s a good idea. You could do it now.”

“No. Not now. My emotions are too near the surface. If … if I start talking now I’ll just turn into a girl and then that would really confuse everyone.” The joke fell flat, both of us knowing that I was just doing it to cover up what I didn’t want anyone else to see.

It wasn’t long before it was dinner time but the smell nauseated me. I stepped outside under an overhang and stayed there while camp quieted down and most everyone went to sleep. I was just sitting in the dark when Barkley and Alfonso came out to smoke a home rolled.

Alfonso said, “Thor’s not back yet.”

Barkley answered, “Naw, he won’t be back tonight. He was going with that Major to Whiteman. Better for him to go anyway for a while. Might take his mind off of things.”

“I ain’t never seen him like this. Not even with Maggs.”

Barkley sighed. “Least said about it the better. I was wondering how long it would last. Rocky just don’t know how to handle a man like Thor. And she ain’t exactly your normal kind of girl to begin with.” The word normal made me cringe.

Alfonso for his part said, “You make it sound like the fight was all her fault. You heard that guy who we bought the tobacco off of. Sounds like the Kid didn’t have a whole lot of choice. You’d figure Thor would have known it. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a dust up or two with her but she ain’t the kind to go looking for a fight on purpose no matter how she might look. And didja see her? She looked like …”

“Yeah, I saw her. And so did Thor. I’d keep my nose out of it if I were you. Neither one of them is the kind to appreciate that kind of ‘help’ and who knows? There ain’t exactly a lot of reason for her to hang around now is there.”

I had been thinking the same thing but it still hurt for someone else to say it out loud like that. I checked my watch and then slipped back inside and went up to the roof. It wasn’t raining by the bucketful but it was far from being just a drizzle. I pulled out a garbage bag I had scavenged weeks ago to keep the rain off and made sure my rifle was covered as well.

“Psst. Tovmas.” The brother in question separated himself from the wall and came over to the door.

“It’s wet out here.”

I wasn’t in the mood for any kind of play so I just nodded.

“OK,” he said getting the message. “Nothing has been moving. The rain is keeping everyone in. Not even the port-o-potties are getting much traffic in this weather.” He pointed off in the direction the little buildings were supposed to be. “Watch out for the edge, it’s slippery.”

I nodded again and then when I tried to go to the position he’d been at when I’d first come out he asked, “Are you leaving?”

I turned to look at him in the dark. “I don’t see why at this late date it should make a difference to anyone one way or the other. Why on earth do you care?”

“My mother cares. Elsapet and Shoushan care. Even Grandmother was asking. Uncle didn’t know what to tell them.”

Trying to keep my voice steady I told him, “I don’t know. You family is nice. I’ve … I’ve learned a lot from riding with your brother’s crew. But … but when Thor and I … I’ve never had anything like that. It didn’t take long for me to … enjoy being treated … special … like I was a real …” I stopped, refusing to sound as pathetic as I felt. “I just don’t know Tovmas. I don’t know if I can stay and just go back … go back to that half life I was living. I don’t even know if it is possible, not with things the way they are. If you were here, alone, no family … maybe not so many friends … how would you feel? What would you do? Tough it out or … escape … move on … try to put yourself back together some how?”

I could see him shrug in the dark. “I don’t know.”

“I don’t either. I’ll let everybody know when I do. Fair enough?”

This time it was a nod in the dark. “Fair enough.”

So I got to work … sitting … and watching. I put all of my remaining energy into it. It was all I had left at that point. And it rained. One o’clock. Two o’clock. I started to get very tired but just put even more effort into my duty. Then three o’clock came and Richards showed up to relieve me. He wanted to look at my bumps and bruises but by then I was hanging on by a thread and I just brushed passed him, unable to even utter a sound that wouldn’t have sounded like a whimper.

I made my way inside, down the catwalk, and then grabbed my gear. I had spotted a shed earlier and it was as good as any to hide in to lick my wounds. I headed for it after banging into Soghomon just enough to tell him where I was going without using words. I wrenched the door open and got it closed just in time. I fell to my knees and started sobbing. Luckily for me the skies really opened up again and the thunder and lightning covered the sounds of my breakdown.

I don’t know how long it went on. It was a while, that’s all I know. Eventually I was just empty and I crawled over to my gear and only out of habit bothered putting my bed roll under me before collapsing and falling asleep.

I woke up because I felt something crawling in my hair. I’m not normally squeamish but when I slapped it away and felt something fleshy I jerked awake and sat up …

And found myself practically nose to nose with Thor. All I could do was to give my heart a chance to slow down … or that’s what I kept telling it to do but it was banging around inside my chest like I was about to have a heart attack. I wasn’t saying anything and he wasn’t either so I just turned and started rolling up my bedroll … only he knocked it back out. I didn’t know what was going on but I thought it was just doing it to irritate me or get a rise out of me or something. I reached out to roll it back up and he was just there … all around me.

I stiffened not knowing what to expect. He pulled me backwards until I was sitting again only with my back to him. Every time I made the slightest movement to try and move his arm would tighten up. Finally I gave up and just waited to see what was going on.

In a hoarse voice he asked, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

I’d had too little sleep and less food. My brain just wasn’t firing on all pistons. I couldn’t even seem to get it to work enough to respond to his question.

“Ok … OK, I … I deserve the silent treatment. OK, I get that. But I also deserve an answer. Why didn’t you tell me?”

I finally managed a croak but that was it. I’d cried myself practically voiceless. When I finally was able to get the words to form I didn’t sound like myself at all. “Tell … tell you what?”

He stiffened and I could literally feel the emotions held tautly in check where his arms pinned me against him. He turned me to look at him and I could sense he had to force himself to be careful. At first he was angry and then looking at my face it turned into something close to alarm. “You’ve been out here all night.”

Gosh it was hard making my brain work when it didn’t want to. “What … what’s the time?”

“Rochelle …”

“What’s the time? I … I came here after I got off watch … about … about three. Been here since then.”

He went to touch my face and I jerked away startled when I realized that my blurry vision wasn’t all the result of the lack of light in the shed. I touched my eyes and felt they were puffy. “Must look like I took a helmet to the nose. Need to go … go wash … my face I think.”

“When’s the last time you ate? Joan said you didn’t come to dinner last night and no one has seen you since Soghomon said you came out here.”

“It’s not a crime.” My brain was finally catching up with reality even if my voice was sounding worse. “Let me go. I need to go wash up. I think I told Chuckri that I’d take someone’s watch today so they could go to the market.”

“No.”

“Don’t. Just don’t Thor. If you want to do some more yelling then just do it and get it over with, but don’t go all gotta-be-responsible-for-the-Kid. It’s too late for that.”

“Is it?” he asked.

“Yeah. Way too late. I’m not ‘The Kid’ anymore. People may still call me that but that part of my life is over with.” I was not playing whatever game he was into. I was all played out. “Now let me go. I have to check and I need to …”

“@#$% @# why didn’t you tell me?!”

“Tell you what?!” I croaked. I was running on so little fuel that I was not going to be able to hang onto my temper for long.

“That Maggs sent those two guys!! Why … didn’t … you … tell … me?!” Then more quietly, “Why Rochelle? Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you just stand there?”

Ping. The last of my control was gone. “Stand there? Stand there?!! I had just saved myself from a whooping of gigantic proportions but whether it was my fault or not I knew you’d get upset and worried sick when you heard about it. I just wanted to give you a few minutes to get it out of your system then I was going to apologize for yet again messing up! But I never got the chance. You never gave me a chance! Every stinking time I tried to start you would tell me to shut the f-bomb up. Put yourself in my place Thor. For once really put yourself in my place. You think about that,” I said as I jabbed a hard finger into his chest. “And from most of what you were saying it wasn’t even about the fight that I got into so don’t even try and play off that me telling you that the fight wasn’t my fault would have made any difference at all.”

This time when I got up to leave we wound up in a tussle. “Let me go Thor. Right. Now. I was in one fight yesterday. I really don’t want to have to deal with another one today but I will if necessary.”

“If it will make you feel better, swing away,” he said.

Outraged I asked, “Are you completely mental?! Is that really how little you think of me?!!”

“Rochelle …”

I hated it that he could make all my efforts to get away seem so puny. I was tired and starting to hurt in places that had been hurt the day before but that wasn’t all of it. My voice was little more than a mouse squeak. Thor simply knew how to fight … and how not to fight … better than I did. I was so tired and so heartsick I just let loose and started crying again. At that moment I nearly hated him for the state I’d been reduced to. I don’t really know how it happened but before I knew it I was in his lap and crying like my heart was broke … and it was.

It was a moment before I heard his own broken whispers on the top of my head. He kept saying over and over, “Don’t leave. Don’t leave Rochelle. Don’t leave me.”

I pushed him away. “Leave you? You left me. In fact I’m not even sure that you were ever really with me … not the real me. I thought you knew me. I thought you knew I would never just go looking for a fight … not just for the sake of fighting. More than that Thor I thought you accepted me. Instead I find out that …”

“No. No. It isn’t like that.”

“Yes it is.”

“No. I admit it looks bad but I was just angry. I did say some things I shouldn’t have but it isn’t how I really feel. Rochelle … please … look at me …”

“No. No because you’ll do whatever it is you do that I keep falling for and …”

“Rochelle,” he whispered into my ear.

“Stop that. Just … just stop it. This is bigger than the way you make me feel … physically. I let myself …”

He wouldn’t let me go. I felt like I was under siege. “Rochelle …”

“I swear I’m going to kill Pilbos,” I ground out without really meaning to say anything aloud.

“What does Pilbo Doughboy have to do with this,” Thor asked suspiciously.

“He told you.” I was furious. “I told him not to. I didn’t want to deal with you getting your feelings hurt and now look at this mess.”

“He’s not the one that told me.”

“Yeah right,” I squeaked as my voice broke yet again. “Don’t cover him.”

“I found out when I went to Whiteman. Charlie brought the details of the fight from the market. He wanted to know how Maggs had gotten to those two guys. Turns out the Roads Gang had someone on the inside. A guy … yet another one … she’d hypnotized. The guy put a bullet in his own brain rather than face what he’d done. I was there most of the night helping to get it all untangled.”

I didn’t even want to think about it. “Fine. Whatever. So I don’t have to kill Pilbos. Now let me go. I’ve got work to …”

“No.”

I sighed. “Thor. I can’t do this. I don’t know how. I hate drama even though my life was built on it. But not like this. I’ve never had to deal with something like this. I can’t take it. I was only fooling myself that I could have a normal relationship with anyone. I’m done fooling my …”

I squawked a wheezy cough when he jerked me back against him roughly. “Don’t. Don’t … don’t ever … say that. You’re not leaving. We’ll work through this. We’ll …”

“Thor, I’m not doing this to torture you … or me. But be honest, just … be … honest. There are a lot of things about me you either don’t like or have a hard time accepting. And you’re still mad enough about me lying to you in the very beginning that it’s still there in the back of your head. Every time something comes up you’re going to remember all those things, you won’t be able to help yourself. You can pretend that …”

“Rochelle, I am not a nice man.”

“Huh? Wha … Huh? Are we even having the same conversation? Do you hear what I said? I wasn’t blaming you for anything. I’m just trying to lay it all out on the line.”

“And so am I. I have done things that under pain of torture I will never tell you about. But I’ve done them and nothing is going to change that. But more than that I’ll do them again if necessary. I’m that kind of man. When I have a goal, I meet it. Whatever it takes. And right now, my number one priority is to make sure you don’t leave me.”

“Thor …”

“Now you listen to me. I am not going to lose you. I messed up. I admit that I messed up bad. But you are taking some of the things I said the wrong way. Fine. I’ll be responsible for that too. I should have known how you’d take them even if I didn’t mean them that way. But as bad as this is it still isn’t so bad that we need to chuck it all. And you are not going to leave me @#$%@#. You made a promise you wouldn’t run off and you will by god, keep that promise.”

I just looked at him and shook my head. “You’ve lost your mind. How can this … this mess … be fixed?! Every time you look at me you’ll remember all the times that …”

“Is that how it is for you? Will you look at me and remember what I said for the rest of your life?”

“You’re not the freak! I am!!” I screamed with what little voice I had left. And then I stopped and started to panic. I’d never admitted out loud to anyone but Jonathon just how badly the words of others had hurt me. Even Jonathon didn’t know all of it. “Just … just go. Have some kind of life with … with a normal … with someone who … who can fit in … who …” I was scrambling, trying to get away.

I must have been getting slippery because we wound up full length on the ground, him pinning me and me really starting to panic at that point. “Rochelle. Rochelle! Look at me.” I felt like an injured bird with a viper on my tail. “Look at me. We can fix this. I … I didn’t mean what you thought I meant. We can make things all right again. You have to give me a chance … give us a chance. As bad as things are they are still salvageable.”

I wanted to believe him so badly but I’d never been hurt the way he’d hurt me. Thor must have felt me weakening. He whispered, “You’re so tired, probably can’t think worth squat right now. You haven’t eaten. Let me get you something to eat. We’ll go over to the market. There’s a little cantina there.”

“I can’t. I promised to take someone’s shift.”

“You offered. Chuckri didn’t accept.”

I didn’t know whether to believe him. “I still can’t. I’m a mess. I can feel my face. I look even more like the Bride of Frankenstein than I normally do.”

“Don’t say that again Rochelle. Just because you don’t look like the traditional beauty queen doesn’t mean that you aren’t beautiful.”

“OK, that’s enough. I don’t need to hear that stuff. It’s nothing but a load. I had a mirror you know.”

“That you obviously didn’t use. Or you were looking at it with your eyeballs inside out and upside down.”

I was getting exasperated. “Thor people are going to look, stare, talk, and maybe even start stuff just because they think I’m looking for it. If they see you with me they’ll start it with you too by default. You can’t want that kind of trouble.”

“One, you don’t know that people are going to be that way and two, the mood I’m in anyone messes with you and …”

“That’s what I’m talking about. You don’t need that kind of problem. Just let it go.”

“No.”

I thumped him in the chest and then grimaced at how sore my hands were; they felt like I’d hoed a couple of acres of tobacco but forgotten my gloves. “You are that fond of that word.”

“Yes … yes I am.” He sat up and pulled me with him. I felt limp as a wet noodle.

“Thor I … I can’t do this again. It … it’ll kill me. I may be left with a pulse but the stuff that makes me who I am will be gone, destroyed. I don’t even know if I have the strength to try again. I feel dead inside already.”

“Don’t say that.”

I sighed and shut up. I didn’t want to hurt him but I didn’t want to be hurt either. But Thor is Thor and no matter that I had meant to stick to my guns I found myself washing up and going with him to that cantina. We were joined by Richards and Elsapet. And just like I predicted people looked, stared, talked, and a few even tried to get in my face … but Thor was there and only one was stupid enough to cross the line. But Thor didn’t have to do anything because suddenly an enforcer was there and the guy backed off rather than pay a fine or get thrown into the ring to take his turn.

As we were leaving the cantina I dug the little bag out of my pocked and gave it to Thor. “These aren’t worth anything once we leave here. Use ‘em, trash ‘em, I don’t care. I just don’t want to see them ever again.”

I had meant to just leave and go back to the shed and try and get some sleep but Thor nixed that idea. “Good, then if you’re willing to contribute your earnings we’ll see if we can’t pick up some extra supplies.”

For the next hour and a half we walked … well they walked, I stumbled … around the booths. There wasn’t really a lot of stuff we needed so we put the money into food instead. I mentioned looking for medical supplies but Richards and Elsapet got all happy and said they’d been resupplied out of Whiteman in return for taking out the Roads Gang.

The Roads Gang. If I never heard about it again it would be too soon. I didn’t even want to know what happened to Maggs so long as she and her plots and plans stayed well away from me. I was told anyway. She’d be receiving a public trial the following week. But we wouldn’t be around for it as all they needed was a few depositions to present into evidence.

When we did finally go back to camp I headed straight for the shed only to find my gear gone. “What?!”

Pilbos grinned sheepishly as he leaned on the side of the building. “I didn’t think you’d want your stuff left out in the damp. I took it in, put it back where it belongs.”

I stumbled inside the warehouse and saw my stuff, including my bedroll, all laid out next to Thor’s stuff. I gave Pilbos the eye and he just shrugged, embarrassed. “Hey, if it works out for you two then maybe there’ll be some tall beauty waiting for me in Kentucky.”

Yeah, that kind of pressure I could do without. I must have looked like a zombie as I lurched over to my bag. I barely remember lying down.

But I remember waking up. My head was killing me and my stomach was rolling. The sandwich from the cantina was hours before and I’d already been operating on empty. I sat up … or tried to. There was a big arm draped across my chest. I slid over and reached for my canteen but it was empty. I was still tired but it looked like I was going to have to get up anyway.

Before I could get to my knees Thor was there. “What’s wrong?”

“Thirsty,” I whispered.

“Here,” he said holding his canteen to my lips. “You’re hot.”

“Not now Thor.”

He laughed unwillingly. “I … um … didn’t mean that kind of hot Rochelle. I meant you’re hot as in you feel feverish.”

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 39

“Don’t care. Just let me sleep and I’ll be fine and ready to go in the morning.”

“Shhhh. Let me help you get cooled down.” I felt a couple of buttons go.

Thinking this was standard issue guy stuff and really not feeling up to his version of playing I mumbled, “Thor I told you …”

I felt something cool and damp being run across my forehead and down my neck. “Ahhhhh.”

“See? Doesn’t that feel good? Now just lay back. It’s just my bandana, that’s all.”

It did feel good. “Thor …”

“Shhh. It’s OK. I’m not going to leave you … never again … let me do this, take care of you.” I meant to tell him I could take care of myself but I fell back to sleep.

In the morning I felt considerably better and was badly embarrassed to find that I needed to get halfway dressed before I could even get out of my own bedroll. Luckily Thor had somehow gotten the tarp set up to give us some privacy so I wasn’t giving the other folks a peep show.

“How do you feel this morning?” Thor asked quietly as he leaned on one elbow watching me struggle to get straightened up under the covers. He had a look on his face I’d never seen before and I didn’t get it.

“I’m fine. And stop enjoying this. I don’t know how my shirt got all bunched up but I hope you left me some dignity.”

He smiled like a goof again and said, “Left you boatloads of dignity. Shipyards full of it. It nearly killed me but I did it. Now seriously, how are you feeling?”

He may have been smiling but I could tell his question really was serious so I didn’t give him a smart comment like my mood wanted to. “Washed out but lots better than I did last night. I’m rarely sick so don’t let this give you any ideas. See? Fever’s gone.”

“I’ll feel better after I see you eat some breakfast. But either way you aren’t on point or rear guard today, maybe not tomorrow either and …”

“Don’t.” I didn’t need this.

He stopped, giving me a confused look. “Don’t what?”

“Don’t … over compensate or whatever you’re doing. This is about the … the Argument.”

He opened his mouth then closed it. He sighed and then sat up and helped me to do the same. “Some. But I’m done trying to compartmentalize our personal relationship from our working relationship. The world is different from what it used to be. There is no employer rules to follow and society can kiss my behind so I’m going to make up my own rules from here on out.”

Leery I asked him, “And what is that supposed to mean?”

He kissed my forehead, “It means that this is a lot harder than I was admitting, even to myself. Yes, I know you are capable and stronger than I probably realize. However …”

“However?”

He puffed his cheeks out and then ran his large hands through his shaggy mane. “I’m still figuring this out Rochelle. The normal rules of how things are supposed to work are in the toilet and I … I’ve never …” He made an impatient sound with himself. “I talked to Bedros and he said a few things that needed saying.”

“You did what?! When?” I hissed at him. “This was our business, between the two of us.” I still wasn’t sure what “this” was anymore but I had considered it private one way or the other.

“Rochelle, don’t get bent out of shape. It was yesterday after you went back to sleep. I felt like a jack @#$. I figured the man has managed to stay married for fifty some odd years so he should have at least some idea how to fix things because I was at my wits end.”

“I can’t believe you would tell our business to anyone else. Oooo,” I moaned. “He must think I’m some kind of …”

“Stop that. He didn’t say anything bad about you. He had a few … home truths … to give to me.” I just looked at him, confused. “Rochelle, don’t laugh. He really raked me over the coals.”

“Uncle Bedros? No way. Besides, I can’t see … well OK, the Argument … but the rest of it … we’re … we were … partners. You never forced me and still haven’t. I’ll go tell him. There’s no need for folks to start thinking …”

“Whoa there,” he said, keeping me from getting up. “He was right … is right.” He sighed again and said, “I went from one extreme to the other with you; from acting like you were just one of the guys to expecting I had a right to all the things a woman can give and then some plus we were, are, working together in a very dangerous environment and I expected you to tow that line too without complaint.”

I shook my head, “I was right there and I know how things were. But you never heard me whining about it and no one else did either.”

“No. No you didn’t. Which only let me get away with it for as long as I did. And we’re going to have to work on that. I’m a big guy Rochelle and used to having my way most of the time or at the very least getting a say in how things go. I’m used to being the boss and working people like chess pieces. I forget to turn it off sometimes. You … you are used to having the control of most things being out of your hands or being taken out of your hands by people or circumstances. To survive you’ve … you’ve just learned to live with it and let it go. You need to stop that because … unintentionally … I’ll let you be that way just to keep having my way. You’re going to have to learn to put your foot down.”

I snorted, “You have to be the only person I’ve ever met that doesn’t realize I’m about as bossy as they come.”

“No, you just come off that way sometimes. But after Bedros said it I started thinking … you’ve been backing down from day one. Maybe it was subtle but that’s what you were doing. You were the peacemaker. You took a lot of crap being dished your way with just a shrug like it was no big deal. Plenty of times you could have fought over something and you didn’t. You made it seem that it was because it wasn’t worth it, but it wasn’t that. You’ve stood there while people talked you down your whole life probably. You’ve ‘turned the cheek’ so many times it’s a wonder you don’t spin in circles all day long. Your parents must have been incredibly supportive to balance all of that out and give you a safe haven to live in.”

“My parents were better than incredible,” I said aggressively.

“See? You can fight – you will fight – but only in protection of others or if you don’t feel like you have any choice. But you don’t start fights … and I should have remembered that. It’s probably why you found football so freeing, it let you play out your aggression on the field where it was safe and expected, that way it didn’t stay bottled up all the time and you lose control of it. If I’d been using my head for something besides a wig holder I never would have said three-quarters of the things I did. It’s going to take a while to get you to trust me again, I get that, but I will Rochelle. We’ll get back to that place.”

He was making me feel things and I didn’t want to feel them. I didn’t want to hurt him but I didn’t want to get hurt either. So I said nothing.

“Another thing Rochelle, you’re my woman and no one is going to get in the way of me taking care of you … and that includes letting myself get in the way of it. I’m not your boss. I’m not your friend … or not strictly your friend anyway. I want to be your lover.” At my upset expression he added, “Not in a physical sense yet but I want us to get there. But … look at me Rochelle … in every other way that’s what I am. And I’m done trying to pick the time and places when I get to act like it. You were sick last night and it scared me. You aren’t in any shape to take on the added responsibilities of those two positions. I am making a unilateral decision that you are going to be given light duty. Period. If the other guys don’t like it that’s too bad. I’m the leader, you’re my woman. If you were in shape for it, it wouldn’t be an issue but you aren’t and I’m not putting you in unnecessary danger just for appearances sake. Got it?”

“Thor …”

“I mean it Rochelle. Things are going to be different. You aren’t one of the guys and I’m done using that as an excuse to not pay attention or to assume you’ll just take whatever I dish out. Look at me Love.” He’d never called me that … never really used the word and it startled me enough that I did look even when I wanted to ignore him. He further threw me for a loop when his voice got all deep and husky. “I’m going to treat you like the woman you deserve to be treated as.” He took my hand and stroked it. “You’ll see Rochelle. Just give me a chance.”

He was waiting for an answer. Lucky for me the deep soulful thing he was doing got rudely interrupted when a group from Whiteman showed up with some intel on the road ahead. If it had been anyone else I had a feeling that Thor would have told them to go to the devil but a leader doesn’t ignore what they were offering.

We all finished packing and headed out. The roads were incredibly muddy if you couldn’t stay on the highway and it took some time to get out of the stream of traffic created as others besides ourselves left since the market was over for another month. I managed to avoid Thor for a while but when one of our wagons bogged down in a washed out place in the road it took everyone’s strength to get it out again.

But something was wrong. Normally I could have helped to lever the wagon out without breaking a sweat; I can’t count the number of times a neighbor would call and Dad and I would go over and help get a tractor unstuck. At first I put it down to not having eaten properly for a couple of days. I’d eaten a small bowl of porridge for breakfast but that’s all I’d been able to stomach. I put the lack of appetite down to nerves but I was only fooling myself.

When we stopped for a lunch break I nearly fell out of my saddle getting off my horse. Thor ran over and caught me but the world still spun. And that’s all she wrote. Even if Richards hadn’t made me replace Pilbos in the Elder Wagon, Thor would have. My fever was back and it kept creeping up all afternoon.

That night we stayed east of Sedalia and the next night we were in a place called Syracuse, Missouri but I don’t remember much of it. I was up for a few hours the day we turned south to Versailles, Missouri but it wasn’t until the next night when we stopped in Iberia that I was feeling well enough to do more than sleep through dinner.

“Come on, easy does it. I’ve got the tent set up.”

I rolled my eyes. “Thor you’re being ridiculous. I’m not made of glass. I look like an idiot with you carrying me. The guys are never going to take me serious again.”

“They take you anything but and they’ll answer to me.”

He’d been going on like that since Knob Noster. It was completely freaking me out. And so was all the looking after me that he was doing. He even insisted on feeding me for crying out loud. OK, so I was as weak as a kitten even when I could keep my eyes open but he was taking it too far. Everyone had learned to keep their distance when he was washing me down to try and break the fever. And no one said a word when our days were a lot shorter than they needed to be.

“Thor, enough.” He wasn’t listening. “Thor, I mean it. No more. I don’t need a babysitter. And … and this is … Frankly I don’t know what to call this is but it is too much.”

“You’re sick. I’m going to get that tea Richards prescribed.”

Running out of patience I said, “That’s an example of what I mean. Richards didn’t prescribe anything. He just suggested that it might help to bring my fever down. You’ve been dumping the stuff down my throat ever since. I’m practically sloshing with tea. I expect little tags to sprout from my ears at any moment.”

Thor shook his head but refused to put me down. “Now who’s being ridiculous? Here,” he said as he laid me on a pallet he’d made of my bedroll under a tent made of the tarp and mosquito netting I kept habitually handy. “Get comfortable. I’ll bring you something to drink and then bring your dinner when it’s ready.”

He didn’t even give me a chance to object. The thing was that it was true. I was really weak. And not happy about it in the least. It had been years since I was sick like that. Normally my constitution was that of a mule, nothing fazed me. I hadn’t meant to but I quickly fell asleep yet again but woke up when I heard voices.

“I’m doing everything everyone suggests but she still isn’t getting better. Now what the @#$% is wrong? Why don’t you just use some of those antibiotics you got from Whiteman.”

“Take it easy Thor. She is getting better. I heard her threaten you with great bodily harm this afternoon when you wouldn’t give her any privacy.” He chuckled. “Every man in the crew was relieved to hear her say it. We’ve all been worried.”

“Not worried enough apparently to tell me which of those @#$% pills to give her,” he murmured murderously.

“That’s because they wouldn’t have helped and could have just made things worse. It’s not bacterial and there’s no sign that it’s going into her chest; the little bit of coughing she has done was productive and cleared any congestion up. It’s a cold Thor … a bad one but still just a cold. Antibiotics won’t help a cold. You just have to go through the infection cycle. It’s a wonder more in the caravan haven’t been sick. Stress is debilitating as you well know. How many newbies did we have go through the cycle of constant colds when they first got taken on? It took six months to a year for them to harden to the life we led. I expect the same to hold true here. Look at everything Rocky has gone through since The Collapse. And the fight she was in and then the argument you two had … it just used up the last of whatever she was using to hold it all back. The rain didn’t help either.”

“Are … are you saying this is my fault?” he asked quietly, stunned at the possibility.

“Not all of it certainly, but it didn’t help. And don’t tell her I said so, she’d do me some damage, but she may be big and tough however she is still a female and that means her monthly vitamin and mineral levels are going to be low at certain times making her more vulnerable than the average male. And who knows how being a GWB affects her metabolism.”

Thoughtfully Thor said, “Every once in a while she talks about feeling like she isn’t getting enough protein. Could that have contributed to this?”

It was then that I realized Elsapet had been standing there as well. She said, “I wouldn’t doubt it. Most people get most of their protein from meat. Meat is made up of amino acids. The human body requires twenty-two different amino acids to build body organs, muscles and nerves. The body also converts amino acids that combat invading bacteria, viruses, and protozoa. Altogether the body uses about fifty-thousand different amino acids to function, including five thousand specialized ones called enzymes. We can internally manufacture most of what we need but eight of the twenty-two I mentioned that are special can only be obtained through from outside sources such as the food we eat. If only one of those eight essential amino acids are missing our bodies cannot function properly. Guess what food sources best supply those eight amino acids?”

I didn’t hear an answer from either men and Elsapet continued. “Animal products. That isn’t to say that your body cannot obtain them through carbohydrates found in plant products such as beans, but they are much lower in those amounts. Take tryptophan for instance. In the lab we called it nature’s Prozac because it is the amino acid essential to manufacturing serotonin. It raises an interesting series of questions for everyone, not just for Rocky. I’ll talk to mother and look over the food supplies and try to address this in the menu. I know Uncle and Ludvig were trying to avoid slaughtering the animals but we may not have any choice.”

Thor said, “Hold off on the slaughtering. Montgomery and Barkley spotted a herd of whitetail and they’ve gone to check it out.”

As I heard their footsteps go away I decided that that moment might be a good time to start the foot-putting-down thing that Thor had mentioned. I rolled over and tried to get up. Thor was there before I’d even made it to all fours.

“Hey beautiful. Let me help you.”

“Thor.”

“Hmm?”

“Bring me a big piece of wood.”

He opened his mouth and then closed it looking at me suspiciously. “What for?”

I smiled sweetly, “Because Dear, I’m going to knock some sense into you.”

His eyebrows flew up into his shaggy hair. “Oh you are are you?”

“Yes,” I smiled sweetly. “You seem to have lost your mind somewhere along the way. I am not helpless. I am not fragile. I am not made of glass. I do not need to be carried everywhere I go. And I am perfectly capable of walking to the latrines by myself … and having some privacy to do it.”

He snorted like he was hearing me but wasn’t believing me.

“Thor, I’m not kidding. I may not be up to riding tomorrow – I’m not stupid – but the day after that I’m going to give it a shot. I may not make it long but I’m still going to try. I’m not going to sit in that blasted wagon a moment more than necessary.”

He looked at me and I could tell he wanted to keep smothering me with his version of affection, that he didn’t like that I was taking my reins back from his control. But he didn’t say so so I gave him some brownie points. “All right. But no guard duty. Not until you’re able to sit your horse all day. And no guff either that I’m trying to molly coddle you or whatever is going through your head. We had the same rule for Evans, remember?”

I got quiet and nodded, “Yeah. OK, I can agree to that.”

“Detente, who would have thunk it.”

I threw a weak whap his way but we both grinned, then he got serious again. “Rochelle, are you really feeling better or is this … just a way of saying that you’re tired of my company.”

That mine field was waiting to catch me if I wasn’t careful. “I’m feeling better. But don’t push Thor. I haven’t had time to … to think … about any of it.” I could see his shoulders go all still. I continued to be very careful in my answer. “I don’t want to leave; I never did, not really. I … and … I … I don’t want you to either. But this? I feel like I’m living in a fish bowl. It’s hard to take.”

He looked at me and then all the tension went out of him and he let out a deep breath. “OK, I can work with that. How about … how about you seeing if you can sit with everyone else to eat dinner tonight, see if you’re up to it. If you are we’ll stay, if you aren’t we’ll leave. Afterwards I’ll take my bedroll and …”

“No.” At his questioning look I said more than a little embarrassed at the admission, “You … you don’t need to move your bedroll. Just … just let me … get my feet back under me. I don’t like feeling helpless.”

He got close and then slowly put his arms around me, either like he was afraid I would bolt or break if he moved too fast. “You sure?”

Just as slowly I relaxed back into his arms. “Yeah. I … yeah … yeah, I’m sure. Just don’t push.”

We sat that way long enough that I almost dozed off again. But he was a man of his word and when it was supper time we took it with everyone else and when I’d had enough of the company and was having trouble keeping my eyes open we went back to the tent. Thor had guard duty after that and then later I felt him come into the tent and I rolled over to get closer. We didn’t do anything with that “closer” anymore than we had before but Thor’s sigh was one of contentment … and so was mine.

I wasn’t in any shape to ride the next day and that night in Vienna, Missouri we had another rain storm and I got chilled again despite not getting wet at all. Thor got soaked and I worried he was going to catch what I’d had since he’d been the one taking care of me.

“Relax Kitten, I haven’t been sick in years.”

“You better find some wood to knock on and your head doesn’t count. And what’s with the … the names you’re calling me?” I’d thrown modesty out the door and was helping him to get out of his wet clothes and trying to dry him off the best I could manage between my own shivers.

“If you don’t like it I’ll stop.”

I could feel myself blush in the dark, both from his lack of sufficient clothing and from the knowledge that I wasn’t just shivering from the cold. “Just … just don’t do it where other people can hear it.”

He finished dressing and then sat beside me snuggled up next to me. “Nope. This is strictly private … between the two of us.” He backed up all of a sudden, shook his head and then cleared his throat. “They couldn’t keep the fire going so it’s nothing but cold grits. Not very appetizing but it’ll fill the hole and I’ve got some jerky in my pack.”

“Where’s my hobo?” The strange question caught him off guard. “The two cans that I keep in the side pocket of my pack. They should be inside a zip bag.”

He found them and handed them to me. “Help me roll the tarp back so that I can have bare ground.”

I took one of the small fuel tabs that I had saved for emergencies and put it in the small can that had formerly held potted meat. The top can was just an empty vegetable can that I had punched air holes in. I smeared just a dab of Crisco on the flat “top.” I lit the fuel tab and then sat the vegetable can over the top of that. “Give me the grits.” I cut the cold glop that had congealed into a solid mass into thin slices and proceeded to fry them on my makeshift stove top. It would have been nicer if I’d had bigger cans … a tuna can and a metal coffee can … but I didn’t so I’d made do with what I could find.

I also made a little bit of busted down gravy using water, flour, and a little bit of the dried sausage we had picked up at the market. We shared a mess kit to keep clean up to a minimum but we each had our own mug of something warm … him some instant coffee that made him grimace something terrible and I had some Tang with a little powdered cider mixed in.

“Now this is something like,” he grinned. “You want anything else to drink? If not I’m going to move your stove so that we can put the tarp back down.”

“No, go ahead. Sorry about the coffee. It’s the one thing that I couldn’t have when I lived at home and didn’t think to salvage for along the way.”

“Couldn’t?” he asked.

“Well, not couldn’t exactly.” I was a little embarrassed. “Look, my folks … well … the truth is my family was … was as monetarily challenged as Jonathon’s were well off. I’ve already told you about his family. We weren’t poor, poor … we owned the land and house and all the farm equipment free and clear. Dad, and my grandfather before him, never believed in taking out loans like a lot of farmers did. Just we were kinda shy as far as … um … liquid assets went. I never felt like I was being forced to do without … my parents saw to that … but … well, we did things a little different from a lot of people. Plus my folks were kinda old-fashioned about some things.”

Thor just waited. He’d learned that trying to get me to say something faster than I was ready to say it only made me go slower or not talk at all.

“Remember how expensive coffee had gotten? Or maybe you don’t … I guess you could get all kinds of stuff where you were at that would have cost an arm and a leg for my family.”

He agreed. “Sometimes. Other times I would have given a lot to have had something from the states and couldn’t find it even if I had had the money to spend on it.”

“Well, then you’ll understand. But the thing is … coffee was like my dad’s only vice, or at least that is what Mom said. She pinched the budget every which way to make sure he could have his half pot a day. So for us that meant that coffee was for the man … and we’d drink tea.”

“From what I heard decent tea was as bad as coffee.”

I laughed, “Not that kind of tea though we did stock that for lunch or supper sometimes. We made different teas from Mom’s herb garden. Lemon verbena with honey has always been my favorite but mint is a close second. We did lots of stuff like that. Mom used to get ahead of the cost curve; if we couldn’t grow it then we’d buy it in bulk and store it for the year. Like with the coffee; if no one has messed with anything then when we get home I’ll be able to brew you up some real coffee. We’d just gotten the new supply of beans in before we left.”

“Beans? Coffee beans?”

“Yeah, it was cheaper in the long run to buy the green coffee beans and store them. That way there was less waste; we just roasted and ground what we needed when we needed it. And buying in bulk meant we’d pay the same price for the good stuff that would last a long time as people were paying for the cheap stuff at the stores.”

Thor looked at me and I thought he was upset for some reason. He was, but not at me. “You’re getting the short end of the stick here aren’t you.” It wasn’t a question so much as a statement. But one I got right away.

“Let’s not go there Thor.” For good measure I did the girl thing and got up in his lap. I startled myself a bit by doing it but in for a penny in for a pound. I had to make up my mind at some point if I was going to commit to being with Thor or not … and it looked like my subconscious had made the decision already.

I must have startled Thor too if the look on his face meant anything. “Hi,” he said finally.

“Hi.”

He put his arms around me. “You sure about this Rochelle? I’ve been trying to not push, give you time.”

“I’m about as sure of this as I am of anything. We’re still talking like you’re still willing to come with me back to the farm. I … I still want that to happen.” I was trying to wiggle around to get comfortable.

Thor groaned. “OK, less of that or you’re going to have me walking out into that rain again praying that it is cold enough to cool me down.”

I couldn’t help it, I put my arms around his neck and smiled. “Oh woman, you’re gonna kill me,” he moaned. But he still put his arms around me as well. I hadn’t meant to but I did start getting drowsy. I felt Thor lay me down and I slept the rest of the night.

The next day was another slow one. The rain had made a real mess of things and it was a lesson learned that each wagon needed to keep a supply of dry wood, kindling at the very least, to start a fire with. Breakfast barely qualified as such – oatmeal that was just as gloppy as the grits had been – and no one was in too great of a mood. Before we got going I used what little heat remained on the fire to heat up two gallons of the milk that had come off the cows and then added a good dollop of honey and a little nutmeg to it. Everyone that wanted it had a cup of the stuff. It wasn’t the perfect solution but it stopped the youngest kids from crying and the honey and nutmeg made it seem like a treat rather than a trick to cover their hunger.

Thor didn’t freak when I told him I wanted to try and ride that morning. Besides we both knew that taking both mine and Pilbos’ weight out of the wagon would help to keep it from bogging down. As he helped me get into the saddle – I could sit but I wouldn’t be doing anything fancy for a while – he asked, “Another one of your mother’s recipes?”

“The milk?” I asked and then at his nod I shrugged. “I was growing so fast I was hungry constantly. But my stomach couldn’t keep up and handle all that I wanted to put in it. I had some kind of reaction to the supplements the doctors wanted me to drink. My grandmothers and mother came up with the idea from some old family receipts. I could drink as much honeyed milk as I wanted to; it filled me up without making me sick.”

As he made sure my saddle was tight he said, “Speaking of sick, don’t overdo it. I know you want to be up and about again … just take it easy, please.”

I patted his hair, “You need a haircut.”

“Rochelle …”

“I know Thor … plus … well … I don’t want to worry you. OK?”

He grinned and said, “More than OK.”

The morning was a lot rougher than I had anticipated. I wasn’t doing anything that should have made me tired but by the time that we stopped at the St. James Golf Club for lunch I was really whooped. Lucky for me Thor didn’t see because he was too busy shooing people off … in fact everyone was busy trying to keep people from getting too close. St. James was another one of those hubs for people on the move and the animals drew a lot of temptation. There was a little overt aggression but nothing that the crew couldn’t handle. However, rather than overnight in the next town we stopped in this place called the Maramec Spring Park. It didn’t take long for most of the kids and adults to stick a pole of some type in the river to go trout fishing.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 39B

The park’s café had been ransacked since it sat right off the entrance but the park store and some of the ranger buildings hadn’t been touched which surprised me. I was doing a little salvaging and mumbling to myself about all the useful stuff just sitting around going bad.

Montgomery who was helping me (or keeping an eye on me for Thor) said, “Opportunistic feeders.”

“Huh?”

He smiled, as tired as everyone else was, “People didn’t get far from the road. The café was what you would call a crime of opportunity rather than a real salvaging effort. I’m surprised no one has taken this place over, it would make a prime location for a fairly good sized group.”

Alfonso walked up at that point. “According to a log I found in one of the offices the café’ incident happened early on. Several of the rangers tried to hang on for a while longer but then when communications couldn’t be re-established they left to go look for their families with the intent of coming back. Only they never did, come back I mean.”

We all knew what that likely meant. I ate dinner that night but not with the same level of enthusiasm as everyone else. I was just too tired to enjoy it. Thor pulled me to my feet and we faded into the dark. “Guess a walk in the moonlight isn’t at the top of your list of things you want to do.”

I looked at him and said, “If you want …”

“Hey … I was kidding. You really are tired. C’mon, let me put you to bed.”

“I’m not a child,” I said irritated.

“Don’t remind me. I’m using super human effort to contain myself.”

I thought for a moment, “Well … you don’t have to try quite that hard.”

He stopped and kissed me in the moonlight. “Don’t tempt me woman. I’m giving you space remember? I really don’t want to go take a dip in that blasted spring. It’s cold.”

I chuckled. “Neither do I but I’m having a hard time not having fun torturing both of us.”

“Both of us?”

“Yeah I …” I got a good look at his face. I realized that maybe, just maybe, I hadn’t been the only one hurting and needing comfort. I put my hand on his cheek, “Yeah, both of us.”

He pulled us over to a bench to the side of the green space we had set up camp in. “Sit with me a minute?”

I nodded but when I went to sit on the wooden seat he pulled me into his lap instead. “I want to ask you something.”

I waited. I’d never seen him so nervous. “I know we’ve got a ways to go. Both in miles and … and in other things as well. I know that … that the Argument put us back quite a few miles in both ways. But …” Then he just sort of petered off while the I could feel his shoulders stiffening up.

“But?”

“I want to ask you something.”

“You said that already.”

“Yeah. Yeah I guess I did.” He cleared his throat. “You remember when I told you I’d talked to Bedros?”

“Yeah,” I answered slowly growing a little leery.

“He said that I was … uh … taking some things for granted.”

“What … what things?”

“What I wanted to ask is if you’d … uh … Now see … I’ve never done this before. Never even come close.” He cleared his throat again. “Well … you see … I was … us … wondering … well …”

“Thor? What exactly did Bedros say? Because … you know … our business is our business. I … don’t want to have to worry that … you know undue outside pressure or influence or …”

He kissed me. “No one is pressuring me into anything and I don’t want to pressure you into anything. OK?”

“OK. But if it isn’t anything bad then why can’t you just spit it out?”

He took my hand and raised it to his lips. “Rochelle, what I want to ask is if … and there’s no pressure here, I know … I know we’re still … working on things. You don’t have to hide it. I’ve felt how you think before you say or do everything lately, how you’re … holding back. And I understand that. I don’t want you to think I don’t. But I would … would really like … want …” He stopped and reached into a zippered pocket on his vest. “It’s not much. Actually it is pretty corny but I wanted it to be something I did, not … not something I just picked up someplace.”

It was a ring. A real ring. “I had this sterling silver wire. Got it up right before we were sent home this last time. Won it in a poker game.” He cleared his throat nervously. “I … uh … braided it … and then flattened it. The … uh … pattern, you can still see it. I made sure the edges weren’t sharp, so you don’t have to worry that it’ll cut you. It won’t turn your finger green either. Like I said, it’s … um … sterling. I know it’s not gold but …”

I interrupted him. “You made this? For me?”

“Yeah. If … if you want it. To wear it I mean.”

I looked at the ring and then at him. I said quietly, so no one else in the world could hear me. “You … you didn’t have to you know. I … I mean … it’s not a ring that … that I’ve been waiting for.” My face was hot. “I mean, I know things aren’t the same as they used to be … and that … that you aren’t like the boys that I’m used to back home. You’re … you’re a man, not a boy. I just … you … I’m not sure … if … if I’m ready for the whole package. At … at least … not … not quite yet.”

That was a huge admission for me. “The ring isn’t about the … whole package. It isn’t to get you to do something you aren’t ready for.” He ran a finger along my jaw line. “I want you to know … I want everybody to know … that I’m committed … to this … to us.”

I slowly turned the ring over and felt the pattern with the pads of my fingers. “This isn’t a trial thing … to see if … to see if you like it?”

“No. No trial, no sampling, no backdoor escape plan.”

I said, “Rings are a big deal.”

“This one is. For me. For you?”

I put it on the tip of my finger on my left hand, looked at it sitting there, looked at him then asked, “Are you sure about this Thor? I … I’m not sure I could handle … I mean …”

“I know I’m sure. If you aren’t I don’t want to rush you or force you.”

“It’s … it’s not that. It’s just … to me … rings …” I stopped and then looked him straight in the eye. “To me rings are forever.”

In a husky voice he said, “I’m not playing Rochelle. I wouldn’t even have started to make the ring if I hadn’t been thinking about forever. When … if … you agree to wear this ring … my ring … that means that all bets are off. No man ever gets another crack at you. And I never look at another woman. I haven’t wanted to since I first figured out you weren’t the boy you were playing at being. I couldn’t think of anyone else. You’ve taken up all the room in my head … and my heart. That won’t change for me. It won’t ever change … with or without the ring.”

I was shaking. Could I do it? I’d known the guy less than a year. I’d “been with him” a lot less than that. We’d just come off this huge, destructive, and for me life-altering fight.

He took my hand and reached for the ring, “Rochelle, you don’t have to. I … I guess it was too soon … I’ll …”

I pushed the ring all the way down onto my finger and just looked at it sitting there. Then I looked up at him. “I won’t regret this moment. I won’t regret making this choice. But I don’t want to regret anything that comes after it. OK?”

I wasn’t sure if he was still breathing until he finally said, “OK. I’m going to kiss you now. Then I’m going to walk you to the tent, watch you get inside and then I’m going to … walk … or something.”

“Why?”

“Because if I don’t … if I don’t there might be a little … more than a little … temptation to … push for more. And I keep my promises. Besides, you’ve got dark circles under your eyes again. You need to rest, not fight me off.”

We didn’t talk on the way back to the tent and it wasn’t until I was inside that I felt safe enough to turn around and tell him, “I wouldn’t fight.”

He moaned, “What do you do to me?”

I just looked at him. “Go to sleep Rochelle, you’ve got moonlight in your eyes.”

It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be to go to sleep. The day in the saddle had caught up to me. Sometime later I felt Thor climb in the tent and get into his bedroll. I rolled over and woke up enough to realize he was shivering and that his hair was damp.

“Is it raining again?”

“No.”

“Then why are you damp and cold?”

“The blasted spring is fifty-six freaking degrees.”

“Did you fall in?!” I asked waking all the way up.

“No,” he said and I soon realized the rest of his clothes were dry.

I shook my head. “Gack, you guys are crazy, going swimming at night in a cold spring. You’ll catch the same cold I had. Here, let me warm you up.”

He groaned, “Oh yeah, you do … most definitely.”

It finally clicked and I did something I didn’t even realize I could do. I giggled. I really giggled. That only made him groan again.

“Shhhhh. Someone will hear you and think … well, you know what they’ll think.”

“Oh, don’t worry. Pilbo Doughboy and Tovmas already caught me and are laughing their backsides off. Then Chuckri and Alfonso saw me coming back here.”

I giggled again and he sighed. “Go to sleep Ro-chelle so that I can suffer in peace.” But I could hear the smile in his voice.

We both slept better than we should have and other than being a little sore I was feeling better than I had since before the fight. Thor was walking around with a silly grin on his face and it didn’t leave even when some of the men from the crew or the family ribbed him a little. I took some pieces of wood to put in the barrel that had been tied to the back of the Elder Wagon. As I was brushing my hands off Grandmother Chuckri pointed to my left hand and then held her hand out. I put my hand into hers and she turned it to look at the ring. Then she grinned – a little slyly even – and patted my hand and said something in Armenian that I didn’t understand before walking away.

I had no idea what she said but I could feel a blush creeping up my face. I turned to see Shoushan who was smiling also. “It was a blessing. Kind of like a nice way of saying good luck. I’ll add mine … so long as you are happy?”

I blushed harder and said, “Yes. Yes I am.”

This time she laughed. “Good.”

We both went back to finishing our leaving. Thor came over after I had tied the pack back onto my patient stead and gave me a boost into the saddle. “You OK with the teasing?”

I smiled, “Yeah.”

He smiled back and said, “Good.”

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 40

The road we followed that day led us through a town called Steelville where we did a little salvaging but not much, the town had already been picked over of anything that we could find immediately useful. That night we stayed on the western edge of Mark Twain National Forest. It took us four days to get out of the forest. It was really only about thirty miles by the road but there were trees down on the road in a couple of places and it was decided while we were in an area that was going to be prime hunting location that we’d better get some done while the doing was good. Mrs. Chuckri was pleasantly surprised to find out that I knew how to can and even more pleased to find that I knew how to cook on an open fire. It’s more dangerous than pressure canning on a steady flame but not impossible if you kept careful watch over your gauge.

In addition to the meat we canned I showed them how to maximize the amount of jerky you could get out of a venison roast. Two of the four nights we spent camped at Sunnen Lake and got in some more fishing. I took a few of the kids at a time and we picked forage that I recognized and if no one else would eat it I either dried it for later or turned it into a salad that we ate on the lunch time picnics that Thor and I took. We never went far because someone was always calling him for something but at least it was a little privacy to explore this new facet of the relationship we were working on building.

After leaving the lake we stopped in this town called Potosi and the next morning, after receiving a warning from a group escaping from the area around Park Hills, we chose a different route and turned due south until we came to Elephant Rocks State Park. The park was named for some large boulders that stand end to end and made someone imagine about elephants. I could see what they meant but I don’t think I would have imagined it without some prompting.

We were well and truly in the Ozarks by then. It made me homesick. The Ozarks weren’t quite like the Smokies at home but they were sure closer than the Rockies had been. Sitting around the fire towards the end of dinner that night Thor announced, “Two hundred and forty miles.”

When everyone looked at him he said, “Two hundred and forty miles. That’s how far you are now from your destination. Well, more or less depending on any backtracking or alternative routes we have to take. We’ve been averaging a respectable twenty miles per day if you take out those we just spent in the national forest. And I expect we’ll need to do that at least one more time. The animals will need a break, we’ll have repairs that have to be made, and we’ll have to either salvage or restock at some point to keep from depleting the supplies to a dangerous level. If nothing major occurs, and we can maintain this pace, we’ll be there before the end of August, anywhere from three to four weeks from now.”

A stunned silence met his words then Uncle Bedros stood and started praying and praising God and then the whole family joined him … even a rather hesitant and embarrassed Tavit Chuckri was pulled into it. I wasn’t one for a lot of show so I took my prayers off to a quiet corner. I knew that for Thor and I getting the Chuckri family to their new home would be both and ending and a beginning for us.

“Hey, you OK? Getting tired again?”

I sighed sadly. “No. Thor, I’m almost scared to ask but I have to know, have you thought … I mean really thought … about what getting the Chuckri family to their farm is going to mean?”

“Yes I have,” he said. “Look at me Rochelle and I want you to hear what I’m saying … and understand it. Over the years I served under some great men. The best thing that I learned from all of them is that there is a time to call it quits. I’d been restless for maybe the last year, dissatisfied with the direction my life seemed to be taking. I thought … well I thought I had found what I was looking for in Maggs. You saw how that turned out. Then I thought it was just an itch or something and tried not to think about it, but the voice in my head never shut up for long. When the collapse happened … God help me Rochelle, I was relieved. It was something that seemed to give me a new direction, a path, some incentive to do something besides just put one foot in front of the other.”

I didn’t know what to say. The Collapse had taken so much from me. No … that’s not true. The Greenies had taken so much from me, the Collapse was something that came on the coattails of that, at least partially set in motion by the Greenies and their allies the Twelvers. Could I completely disagree with Thor then? No. I was beginning to see I couldn’t.

Quietly he said, “You aren’t saying anything.”

I told him, “It’s … I was … thinking. My first thought was to deny that the Collapse could have anything good to it. But, I can’t be right … it brought us together. I was trying to figure out … how I felt about what you’d said and I realized that it wasn’t the Collapse that stole so much from me but the people that put the Collapse in motion. I’m just trying to understand Thor. It’s … it’s a pretty big thing to wrap my head around.”

“I hope you can understand Rochelle. I hope you can. It’s not like I’m relishing things being the way they are. It’s just that the Collapse has given me a chance to take a completely different path from the one I was on. But there’s things, people, responsibilities that tie me to the old road … mostly people. Getting to Fairview will give me … all this won’t sound nice … it’ll give me a time and place to cut those ties.”

“But won’t you miss them? Communication is in the toilet, it’s not like you’re going to be able to pick up the phone and touch someone, email them, anything.”

He took me in his arms and sighed. “Rochelle, it’s time. Sure I’ll miss them. Some of us have served together over a decade – Chuckri and I were in the same training group – I’ll likely always miss these guys in some ways. But they’re my past. You, you Rochelle, are my future.”

We walked around with the moon lighting our way for a few minutes and he asked more questions about the farm and what path I wanted to use to get there.

“It’s going to seem like the long way around but once we get to the AT we’ll be able to avoid all of these people that seem to be on the move. And the AT runs with a couple of miles of our front gate.”

“By the AT I assume you mean the Appalachian Trail. You’ve never told me where you live.”

“Oh. Well,” I admitted embarrassed. “For a while I guess I was afraid to tell you. It was … it was my ace in the hole in case I had to bolt for some reason. But there’s no reason for that anymore is there?”

Thor smiled gently and said, “I hope not but if you need …”

“No. Besides, if something happens to me someone should get use of the place and I’d just as soon as it was you as …”

And just like that everything came near to the precipice again. He had me by the arms and shook me, “Don’t ever … say … that … again !”

“Ow! Turn loose right now Thor!”

Thor did, realizing just how hard he had me. “God Rochelle. I’m sorry … I’m … don’t … I …”

His face was so pale and his eyes so wide I thought he was going to pass out. “Thor?”

Instead of calming down he backed away from me even more. “Don’t … don’t ever … ever … let me do that again.”

Something awful was going down and I didn’t know what to do. I’d seen Thor in a lot of moods but I’d never seen him like this. He looked like he was about to puke. “Thor? Are you OK?”

He was breathing like he’d been running from the hounds of hell. “I will not be like him. I won’t. You put my ring on. I’m supposed to protect you. I …”

Every step I tried to take towards him he would back up. He was swallowing air like he had a hole in his chest. There was a dip in the concrete path we’d been walking on and his ankle turned and he wasn’t even trying to save himself. If I’d been any smaller or weaker he would have gotten badly hurt, as it was we both went down. But he barely registered it. He was staring off into the past.

“My dad, he was a good man. A little distant but a good man. I told you that didn’t I?” At my nod he said, “I think one of the reasons that she married him was because he was so different from what she’d had growing up. Gunnar … from my father’s side … Erik … named after my maternal grandfather. But the man was only a father in the biological sense. Just because I look like him doesn’t mean that I am like him!”

He was beginning to freak me out a little. “Of course not. You’re you, not him. You can be whoever you want to be. Just stay the you that wants to stay with me. Thor?”

He sat up and moved away from me again. “No.”

“Thor … stop it. Stop trying to get away. You’re stuck with me. Remember? I’m trying to understand and I think you mean that your … your mom’s dad … um … wasn’t so nice to your mom. Everybody has people like that … or worse … in their family tree. I had an uncle that was a James Dean wannabe … he ended the same way and it tore my dad to pieces. I’ve got a couple of cousins on my mom’s side … well, less said about them the better. That doesn’t mean that just because we share genetic material that we are bound by fate to make the same mistakes.”

“Rochelle, I saw what that old man did to my mom after we were forced to move back in with them. He changed her. They both changed her. I couldn’t stop it, couldn’t save her. That old man and I … she kept saying it was a shame I didn’t take after my dad and then she would say things like I was just like my grandfather. He and I fought a lot. After a while I just had to get away. I left home the night I got my highschool diploma and I never went back except for Mom’s funeral. They had everyone convinced that she’d grieved to death for me, that it was my fault she’d started …” He stopped and then shook his head. “Don’t ever let me do that to you. I’d rather be dead than be that man.”

Something was wrong. Badly wrong. Thor was acting way too out of character and he was starting to shake. I called his name a couple more times but he didn’t respond and his eyes didn’t look right either.

Then there was a scream, and then another. I was torn. I couldn’t leave Thor, there was no telling what he would do. But I couldn’t just ignore either.

“Thor! Rocky!! Where are ya?!”

It was Alfonso. I shouted, “Here! Take the right fork!”

When he ran up and saw Thor on the ground he said, “Oh no.”

“What’s wrong?! What’s happening?!

“Don’t know. Pilbos, Sog, and a couple of others are freaking out! We’ve got ‘em contained but just barely.”

It took both of us to drag and unresponsive and jittering Thor back and then Montgomery was there to help. Richards ran up to me and grabbed my arm, “What was in the salad?!”

I jerked my arm away from him. “Dandelions, purslane, chickweed, and violets mainly. Why?”

“It’s the only thing that ties them … and now Thor … together.”

Markrid was crying and wringing her hands. “I can’t lose another one. What have you done to them?!” she screamed at me.

I blocked her out, trying to concentrate on what was happening.

“It can’t be the salad. I ate it … everybody ate it.”

“No … the second bowl.”

“Second bowl? I only fixed one bowl … one big bowl. Who fixed the second bowl?”

“No one fixed it. They just mixed the other stuff in.”

I was beginning to get seriously worried. “There was no other stuff Richards. I used everything that I picked in the first bowl.” I spun around. “Kids! I need to know. Did any of you add anything? Don’t be scared, I just need to know. It’s very, very important.”

Markrid screamed at me, “Now you’re trying to say it is our own children’s fault!”

Unable to ignore her I said, “Markdrid, listen to me. I need to know who put that second salad together. I know I didn’t. I need to know who did and what was in it.”

“Vika didn’t do anything wrong! You are indeed a monster!!”

I turned and looked at Richards. “I didn’t take Vika foraging. I haven’t had anything to do with Vika since the farm and you know why.”

Richards turned to Elsapet, “Please bring Vika here.”

Markrid screamed curses. Uncle Bedros stepped over and pulled her away. She just kept screaming.

Elsapet looked horrified when she brought Vika forward. The little girl was completely defiant. I bent down, “Vika, I have to know what you put in the salad.”

“You killed my mother!”

I looked at the crazy kid then over at Chuckri. He ran over leaving David’s side. “Vika, honey, your momma … she was killed by those people she hung with.”

“No! She killed her!”

“Vika … you saw what happened.”

“No! It was her fault. Momma would be here if it wasn’t for her.”

Chuckri turned and looked at me helplessly.

I patted his shoulder. His daughter’s trauma wasn’t his fault. “Vika, listen to me. Your mother is dead because of the people she chose to associate with. She was friends with them before the Collapse. She was the one that brought them to the farm. She did nothing while they hurt your brother, your grandmother, the rest of your family. She even helped them. Her choices are what got her killed. You have the chance to make different choices. If you don’t tell me what you put in that salad you could kill some of your family … including your own brother. Is that something you want to do? Is that something that you want to live with the rest of your life? This won’t be something you can blame on me, this will be all your own fault.”

“I hate you! This is your fault! Everything is your fault!”

I wanted to shake her until her teeth rattled but she was just a little kid that had been messed up bad by her mother and her weird friends. I stood up and asked Richards, “Is there any of it left?”

He pointed at the picnic table while he helped Elsapet deal with the hysterical little girl. I looked at the bowl and didn’t see anything unusual at first. I moved it around with my fingers and then, at the very bottom of the bowl, I saw a small slice of something that didn’t belong.

“Oh my God. Elsapet! Richards! We need to make them throw up. We need them to purge their stomachs.” They just looked at me. “Now!! I think she put little brown mushrooms in there. I didn’t pick the mushrooms on purpose because I didn’t want the kids to get the idea that they could.” I ran up to Markrid. “How many? Did you see how many she put in there?!”

Markrid was in shock. She’d been played by her niece. I could see her trying to pull it all back together. It was Shoushan that turned her sister around and shook her.

“Markrid … how many?”

“Not … not so many. She … she sliced them. She … she said so everyone would get a bite since,” she was crying. “She said since there hadn’t been enough to go around.”

The next couple of hours were not pleasant. We dosed them with ipecac. They all vomited but after twenty minutes we gave them another dose to make sure everything was out of their system. Anyone that still threw up food we dosed one more time after that.

All of those that had been poisoned were then put to bed and watched closely. Every couple of minutes we would take their pulses and all of them had a watcher assigned to make sure their breathing didn’t falter. Thor and Pilbos seemed to be the worst, more than likely because they had eaten the most.

By the next day it was apparent that everyone was going to recover. They all had sore stomachs, chests, and throats where they’d been forced to purge. I’d finally had to resort to a spoon to get Thor to throw up because Richards and Elsapet were afraid of killing him with the ipecac.

“My head. I must’ve gotten some bad hooch,” were the first intelligible words out of Thor’s mouth.

I told him, “Not bad ‘shine, bad ‘shrooms.”

He finally focused on me and then nearly jumped out of his skin. “My God … did I hit you?! I remember … I …”

I did my best to comfort him. “No, you didn’t hit me. You shook me but then freaked out like you’d committed some heinous crime and … and just …” He wound up having to comfort me when I started crying. “I thought I’d lost you. Don’t you ever scare me like that again.”

I finally dried my eyes and realized Richards must have been standing there a while. I didn’t know whether to be angry or embarrassed. “Rocky … do me a favor … talk to Chuckri. He’s a mess and he’s blaming himself.”

“Why? It’s not his fault. He’s kids just … she’s messed up right now.”

“I’m glad you see it that way. Now go tell Tavit that’s how you feel.”

I didn’t understand why he needed me to but I suspected he also wanted to check on Thor without me underfoot. I walked over to the man in question and he was all hang dog. “How’s Vika?” I asked.

“You don’t have to ask Rocky. I …”

“Chuckri, if you go off on me because you think I blame your daughter for what your messed up wife and her friends did to her then do it … if it’ll make you feel better. But I don’t blame her. I think she’s messed up, but I don’t blame her for it. And I don’t blame you either.”

Uncle Bedros walked up and said stiffly, “My daughter will apologize to you.”

“No. Don’t make her. She’s gone through her own trauma. No one would expect a little girl Vika’s age to do what she did. Under normal circumstances Vika wouldn’t have. If anyone knows just what the Greenies are capable of it would be me. I’ve watched them twist facts around into pretzel shapes. My parents would have friends and then some media outlet would give them air time in an interview and the next day … then suddenly certain friends would just stop talking to us or taking our calls. After a while it gets old but I certainly don’t blame Vika … or Markrid. Just no monster hunts … I’m just flesh and blood, human … not any of those things those people say I am. I’m not leaving Thor, but I’ll do my best to stay out of Vika and Markrid’s sight so I don’t set them off.”

Shoushan surprised me by coming up and saying, “No. You did nothing wrong. Uncle, please …”

Uncle Bedros nodded his head, “My niece is correct. I can do nothing about Vika; Elsapet and Dr. Richards will need to work with her. But Markrid, she will apologize … for her sake as much for yours. And you are as welcome around our fires as you ever were. If Vika is an innocent victim of the Greenies, then you are even more so … and so I will say to everyone.” Later a tearful Markrid did apologize but I was so embarrassed by her display of repentance that I nearly ran into the forest afterwards.

Richards didn’t want to move anyone for another day just to be on the safe side since some of them were so lethargic. Thor wasn’t himself that was for sure. Late that night I finally found out why.

I had my head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. I hadn’t realized he was awake until he put his hand on my hair. “Rochelle, I need to know the truth. Did I hit you?”

“No, of course not. I already told you that.”

“You swear it. On a Bible even.”

I rolled over and looked at him. “On however many Bibles it takes to convince you of the truth.”

He was silent for a minute. “I … I have to tell you something.”

“If it is about your grandfather being a less than stellar person … you already did, or at least I figured it out from what you’d been saying.”

He swallowed. “I’m … I’m not like him Rochelle. I refuse to be like him.”

“I never doubted it. We’ve gotten rough with each other, but we’ve stopped. It hasn’t been a problem lately.”

“You can’t ever let me get away with being like that. I watched my mom and grandmother make all sorts of excuses for the old @#$%&#%. Whether they did it out of fear or out of love doesn’t matter, they stayed with him, and he just did it to them again … and again.”

“Easy. You’re getting upset and I won’t have it. You’re not like that Thor. You can be cranky, foul, irritating, demanding, and a dozen other things. You can even be rough … but you’ve never hit me … and you never will. I think even if by some astronomical chance you did, it would hurt you a lot more than it would hurt me.”

I knew Vika was a little girl … and I knew it wasn’t her fault that she was messed up … but at that moment I could have sold her to the gypsies if it meant never having to see her again. I know that’s not nice but I wasn’t feeling particularly nice right then. In my mind it was like those Greenies were reaching from the grave to cause more trouble and pain and heart ache.

 

 

[wab54]

Was hoping for more!!!!


WAB

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 41

The next day Richards pronounced everyone fit though I think everyone was well aware of how quiet Thor was. Chuckri looked at me and I just shrugged. Later he asked me, “Is Thor really all right?”

“Physically? Yeah. But the memories the hallucinations brought back have him way down. He’s doing his job … and I’ll keep an eye on the rest of it.”

He gave me a concerned look, “’Shrooms are nothing to mess with. They’re as bad or worse than some of the regular illicit drugs. Some of them have leftover effects. I lost a friend in highschool because he was experimenting with some kind of natural high. If Thor starts to act strange again you call me or Richards immediately.”

“I’m sure that isn’t going to be a problem. Like I said, that night just opened up some old wounds … but I don’t think there is anything physically wrong. He’ll come around.”

I said it to make Chuckri believe it but I was also saying it to myself. People and their hidden pain affect other people more than most folks realize. I continued to be angry; not at Vika on a personal level but at what she had done and even at her mother and those green freaks even though they were dead and well beyond anything I could have done to them. Not every problem in my life could be traced back to those people but more than a fair share of them could. It just seemed like no sooner did I think I was done with them and their damage than I would turn around and there it would be all over again. And now it was affecting people I thought unaffectable … is that even a word?

The next day was a short one as several of the poisoned where having trouble keeping up. We first stopped at Fort Davidson state historic site but it was so early in the day that everyone tried again to get a little further. We made it as far as the little town called Arcadia which was nothing more than a bedroom community for this bigger place called Ironton.

It wasn’t even lunch time and since it was so early some of us went out salvaging. I debated whether to go but Richards told me that I should, to give Thor some space to work things out in his head. I felt like I was deserting him but Richards was the professional head doctor and I had learned to trust him. Besides Thor didn’t seem to want my company though I didn’t hold it against him.

I had begun to think of all the things that we would need once we made it home. I was pretty set though I needed to replace the clothes that I’d been forced to leave behind or had worn out since San Francisco but Thor was another matter. All he had was summer gear and though it was the beginning of August, even in the summer the nights could get chilly in mountains. He didn’t have anything remotely useful for winter wear except for his boots and there was no doubt those things had seen better days.

The first thing I did was stop at a motel and pick up a yellow pages and a map that had been kept behind the front desk. Then I started making lists of potential places to stop. When Montgomery and Alfonso asked what I was doing and I told them they acted like they had just discovered I had a brain. No one could go off on their own so a strangely silent Pilbos was assigned to be my partner since he was going to have the same clothing size problem as Thor.

“We’ll tackle this Big and Tall shop, then these thrift stores.” When he didn’t respond to what I had said I asked, “Pilbos are you listening? Are you up for this? I want to move quick so we can cover as much ground as possible.”

He sighed, “I’m fine.”

“You don’t sound fine. Maybe you should stay in camp. I’ll get someone …”

“No! I mean … don’t rag on me, I’m fine. I can keep up.”

“Fine, let’s get in the saddle because if we can get what we need quickly I want to hit some of those antique stores. You’re mom …”

He was grouchy and it showed. “I know, I know … she gave me a laundry list of do’s, don’ts, and the things she wants.

“Then let’s go. And while we’re at it, either get rid of the hound dog face or tell me what’s on your mind. At least bleed some of the poison off.”

We were riding for a full five minutes before he found his voice again. “I saw Tavit crying … to that woman he’s with now.”

“Oh,” I said realizing maybe he was doing more than just pouting. “Her name is Delia and she’s not bad once you get to know her.”

“I guess,” he shrugged. “But … Tavit … he never cries … never … not even when Dad died.”

“The way I understand it your dad was sick for a while and everyone actually … well that when he died it was a release from the pain he was in. Sometimes even when someone dies you can still be happy for them … one of those escaping the mortal coil things my grandmothers used to talk about.”

After a moment he said, “OK, fine, I can get that. But still …”

“But still nothing. I bet it was about Vika. Now I don’t have kids but from what I’ve seen, most parents can cry more easily for their kids than they can for themselves. Vika is hurting so your brother is hurting.”

He snorted, “Vika is a sick little snot. She tried to kill us all … or at least as many as she could.”

“Pilbos, Vika is … is sick, but blaming her for that is like trying to blame the wind from whistling through that tree over there. Your sister in law messed her up and she was too young to defend herself from it.”

That made him angry. “That woman was never any kind of sister to me. She tore Tavit up bad, kept us from being able to see David and Vika until the courts forced her and even then she made up all these excuses to keep them from us. And she was … was bad. She even tried …” He stopped, embarrassed.

“Tried what?” I asked curious as to what he would find so bad.

“She tried to … you know … sleep with me. She was messing with my head to get back at Tavit.”

“Ew. She’s the one that sounds messed up.”

He agreed. “Totally. And now Vika is just as messed up … uh … I don’t mean that way messed up … but messed up, you know? I don’t want that stuff in my family. Haven’t we got enough problems without that too?”

Oh boy. “Pilbos, I can’t tell you what to do but, from my way of thinking, if my parents had thought that when they found out I was going to be a GWB I might not have ever drawn my first breath. And that would have been a shame because I might have had more than my share of issues, but I outgrew them and the ones that I haven’t outgrown I’ve learned to manage. And I think I was a pretty good daughter overall and I loved my parents and they loved me.” I stopped to think carefully about what I said next. “Nothing is going to change what Vika has done. But you can forgive her and move on. Even with Richards counseling her – and he really is a shrink you know – she might never be the person she could have been if her mom hadn’t messed her head up. But she still has a chance and I think that you kinda need to give her than chance.”

He shrugged, trying to appear like he didn’t care as much as he obviously did. “How long do you think she’ll be like this?”

I shrugged, “She didn’t get broken overnight so it will take a while for her to heal.”

We’d finally arrived at the first stop I wanted to make but all they had were dress clothes for the most part. We did manage to find socks, under clothes, belts and in the back some real leather gloves, but nothing durable for working and riding in. I spotted something in a discount bin that gave me an idea and then shoved it in my tote sack before Pilbos could see and ask questions that I’d prefer not to answer. Luckily it wasn’t just a guy store so I also managed to find a couple of replacements for my sports bras that were starting to lose their elastic and some comfortable socks that didn’t look that they had come from a men’s department store.

We had even better luck at the thrift stores. Everything was very musty smelling … more than a few pieces looked like they hadn’t even been cleaned before they were hung on the racks … but it didn’t take me long to find everything I needed for Thor and Pilbos finally wised up and picked up some things for himself as well. He was hesitant at first but I told him, “Stop being such a snob. Better get it while you can or right about the first frost you’re going to be cold in some uncomfortable places and by next summer you’ll be running nekked with the babies.”

He looked at me and then started laughing, the first one I’d heard I in a while. “You are so strange,” he said. “One of these days I hope I meet another girl like you … maybe not quite as weird but close would be OK.”

“I’m simply awestruck by your chivalry,” I told him … right before I dumped him on his can like he deserved. Of course that only made the doof laugh even harder.

Pilbos and I also made some good finds at the antique stores. Their fronts had been smashed up but their back rooms and some of their display cases were still OK. I picked through the old jewelry and cutlery and split it between us. Pilbos complained, “What am I supposed to do with this old junk?”

“Trust me. Give it to Uncle Bedros and he’ll know what to do with it,” I told him. I guess he didn’t get that silver was pretty easy to melt down and that it might come in right handy depending on what the economy was over the next couple of years.

I also found jars of old buttons … the good kind that didn’t break in half if you looked at them too hard … and a bunch of old lace and sewing notions. It was going to be a mess trying to pack all of it down but if I could find another horse or a donkey or two I was thinking that I might be grateful that I had it in the long run.

I drove Pilbos crazy by making him help me fold up all of the denim, threads, notions, and some other stuff from a quilt shop. “Where do you plan on putting all of this?” he asked.

“Want some cheese with that whine?” I asked him in return. “I’m thinking on it all right?”

“Yeah well, you’re not the one carrying all of this junk.”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s not junk. Especially not … oomph … not this,” I said finally pulling out a bolt of thick faux leather. “I can find a lot of ways to make this dead useful.”

“Dead? Yeah. Useful? Not so much.”

If I’d had a younger brother I have a feeling he would have wound up being a lot like Pilbos; irritating and fun to be with in turn. The guy may have been my age but he made me feel as old as the hills sometimes.

We finally had to walk our horses back to our camp because we’d loaded them both down with so many finds. But when Pilbos had sheepishly explained why we were late to his mother all the women started smothering him with hugs and kisses.

I gave him an I-told-you-so look and turned to find Thor up and around. I was so excited that I missed the look on his face and started dragging him away with me. When we got to our tent I practically threw him in head first.

“What in the Sam Hill is your problem woman?”

“Take your clothes off.”

Thor made a strange strangling sound before asking, “What did you say?”

I stopped dragging in the garbage bags I’d been carrying and said, “Take your clothes off. I want you to try some of this stuff on to make sure it fits.”

He got a weird look on his face and asked, “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Thor I am not going to waste valuable space on stuff that you don’t like or is too small.”

“Oh,” he said sounding deflated.

I was pushing his buttons and I knew it but there was a point to my lunacy. I’d give him a couple of things and then turn my back long enough for him to change and then I’d turn, look, and ask him if he liked it, was it comfortable, etc. After about three outfits with me pushing him along I could hear his teeth grinding and I figured I had maximized the potential impact as far as I could.

I swung in his direction and gave him a kiss and a hug and said, “Thanks for being such a good sport. Only a couple more then I’ll leave you alone. Thank goodness you aren’t a picky whiner like Pilbos. I wound up dumping him on his can … should have made it his head.”

“You did?” he asked suspiciously pleased with the picture I painted.

“Uh huh. I wish it had been just us but I get that you needed to do some route recalculations and stuff like that.”

“Oh. Uh … yeah.” Guilt was written on his face for all the world to see. He hadn’t been doing any such thing, he just hadn’t wanted to go with me and I knew it.

I let go and turned back around after handing him the last pile with a certain something tucked in there. All of a sudden Thor made a wheezy kind of cough. “Little bit … er … thin to wear in the saddle don’t you think?”

I carefully turned around, making sure he wasn’t actually wearing the things first. Thor was holding by one finger a pair of black, silky boxers that had hot chilis printed all over them. I had a hard time not laughing at the look on his face as I said, “They had a pair that had little blue smurfs all over them but that wasn’t quite the message I was going for.”

Watching his jaw drop was the last straw. I wound up laughing so hard I had tears running down my face. The only reason I wasn’t rolling around on the ground was because I had draped myself on him so I’d have a prop.

His face was as red as I’d ever seen it. “You do know that paybacks are coming. And I can be very … creative.”

That set me off again and it took me another couple of minutes to catch my breath. He was just smiling and shaking his head so I kissed him. It was about to turn serious when he broke away … but he didn’t push me away.

“It’d serve you right if I went prancing around in those things.”

I warned him, “Don’t you dare. That’s for my eyes only.”

The fire that had been missing from his eyes started to rekindle. “Oh, is that right?”

“That’s right and you better not forget it.”

“Well then,” he said stretching like a cat. “Did you happen to find you anything you’d like to model?”

I blanched, realizing I hadn’t even thought about it. I guess it must have showed on my face, ‘cause the stretch turned into a hug. “Nah, that’d be more temptation than my poor constitution could handle. Top of my head would blow clean off.”

“Oh you,” I said, giving him a hug instead of a swat like he deserved.

After another moment I asked, “You sure that the clothes are OK? I can go back.”

“Not this late in the day you won’t. And not with Pilbo Doughboy either. I should’ve been the one with you.”

“You were busy.”

“Uh … yeah … er …”

I removed the stake he was about to throw himself on by saying, “Besides, how would I have been able to surprise you if you’d been peaking over my shoulder?”

He sighed, refusing to let things devolve into a fight. “Fine, but next time we go shopping together, that way I can make sure you get something for yourself.”

“Deal.”

From that point forward for the next couple of days Thor continued to improve. That isn’t to say he wasn’t a little too careful with me or that he didn’t get a distant look in his eye when something would set him off, but every day he was a little less remote and before I knew it I was having to watch those roving hands of his again.

From Arcadia we overnighted outside a place called Fredericktown. It was like stepping back in time as I rode town a mainstreet of tall, red bricked buildings where the businesses were still open. We were stopped by local police but only to see if we could add any information to what they already had. It seemed an easy thing to do and it left the Chief of Police with a good enough opinion of us that he told us where we could camp and not be molested by the lawless element that afflicted the areas outside the city limits.

From there it took another two days to get to Jackson, Missouri. Jackson was as messed up as Frederick had been cleaned up. Underneath the decay and feeling of hopelessness that sat on everything like thick dust there was a miasma of wickedness. Everyone sensed it, even the animals who seemed to crowd the wagons as if they were seeking protection.

“Thor?”

“Easy Rochelle. Don’t act intimidated but keep your eyes open,” he said quietly as he rode back and forth to make sure everyone understood.

“Eyes? That’s what I feel. Like there are a thousand eyes trained on us from these buildings.”

“There likely are. But if they don’t make an overt move we won’t either.”

I was as happy to escape that place as I had been Kansas City but being on the east side of things still didn’t feel much better. Thor doubled the guards again that night. “I doubt we’ll need them but better to be ready and nothing happen than expect nothing and have all hell break loose.”

I just could not settle down to sleep. I’d had the first evening watch and then been unable to relax while Thor took his turn. When Thor got back and saw me still awake he said, “You’ll regret that tomorrow.”

“I don’t care.” I was shivering.

“Hey, I’ve never seen you this nervy. Is it something in particular?”

“Can’t you smell them?”

“The dead? Sure. Not as bad as in KC.”

“No … not the dead. Them. I can smell them Thor.”

“You cannot … uh … can you?” he asked, suddenly perplexed.

“Sometimes … on the wind. I was … just so big and noisy when I was a kid but Dad needed help with the hunting and he wanted me to learn early … you know … in case. They used to say that if things got really bad that we’d fade back into the woods and wait out whatever else the Greenies planned. That’s what my people did during the Depression, the wars, epidemics, anything big back for generations … it protected the nucleus of the family. Anyway, I needed to learn how to hunt, how to help put food on the table since I consumed so much of it. Since I was so big Dad taught me to stay in one place and … and feel when the game was near enough that it was worth the risk of moving through the woods. I eventually learned to move as quietly as he did but I never forgot those early lessons. Certain animals have … smells … musky, ripe, that sort of thing. If you were still and paid attention you could learn to put what you heard, what you saw, and what you smelled together to make a picture of the animal in your head. Back there, in that town, I smelled human sweat sour with liquor and other things … and then, and don’t you dare laugh, I smelled … fear.”

He didn’t know whether to take me serious. “Rochelle …”

“Look, people do it all the time but they just don’t realize what they’re doing. Have you ever gone into a nursing home where the staff is overworked or doesn’t quite care enough? Places like that have a smell and everyone knows it when they smell it … illness, death, decay, depression all wrapped together. A lot of people can’t take that smell it affects them so bad emotionally. Well fear smells a little like someone has wet themselves and never quite gotten clean from it. That’s the best way I can describe it. That more than anything is what I smelled back there. But I can’t imagine what, after all this time, would generate that much wickedness to create that much fear. There were a lot of people hiding in that town Thor. We didn’t see a single one but you and I both know they were there.”

“Now you’re giving me the creeps.”

I jerked away. Thor pulled me back. “Give me a chance to pull my foot out of my mouth. I didn’t mean that the way it came out.”

I shuddered and tried to calm down. “I know. I shouldn’t have … oh bother. I’m sorry Thor, it’s like my skin is trying to crawl off my body.”

“Hey, you’re really upset.”

“Yes I am. And I can’t explain it. And I don’t know if it is even something real. I just need you to hold me. Please Thor, just hold me.”

He took me in his arms and said, “Rochelle I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

“Thor I’m … it’s …” I stopped and tried to pull my thoughts back together. “I’m not afraid for me. I’m afraid for us … for all of us. I just …”

I curled up in a ball and Thor didn’t have any problem holding me and I didn’t even mind when he tried a little distraction but I think he sensed that I was a little too desperate for distraction because he pulled us both back from going down that particular road. “Rochelle, are you sure you’re not … imagining things or …”

“Or hormonal?” I asked a bit hacked off that he’d backed off.

“Well … yeah.”

“No. I’m not being hormonal. I’d give a whole lot if that’s all it was. I’d take some Midol and call it a night.”

“Ooo-Kay. But I need something more to go on than your nose if I’m going to do something about this.”

I was really getting wound up. “Don’t you think I know that?” Then I leaned my head back and said, “Sorry … sorry I’m just … but there’s no call for taking it out … Geez, I’m sorry Thor.”

“Hey, look at me.”

He tilted my head back and I let him though reluctantly. “I don’t want you to hold something in just because I’m not getting it. I’m listening. I’m trying to understand. But you gotta help me a little here. I’ve never seen you quite like this.”

“I’ve never had this much to lose,” I mumbled to his chin.
 

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 42

“Rochelle …”

“Please don’t patronize me Thor. I know I sound like a stupid cartoon character, or that I secretly believe I have super powers, but I’m not making this up. Dad learned to hunt from his father and grandfather and a lot of their friends from those generations. I’m talking really backwoods – only come out into the sunshine once or twice a year to get their kerosene refilled and trade for some reload supplies and tobacco kind of backwoodsmen. He taught me the same way he learned. I’m telling you it is real.”

“Rochelle … Hon … I’m not doubting you.”

“Yes you are,” I said turning from him.

“Don’t call me a liar woman,” he said with just a little irritation in his voice. “I’m not doubting that you feel something. But in order for me to respond to the threat you perceive I have to be able to quantify it. If it is just a generalized feeling with nothing overt to it there is no constructive way for me to address it.”

I turned back to him and tried to see his eyes in the dark. “You don’t think I’m crazy?”

He sighed and pulled me closer. “I don’t think you’re crazy. I don’t think you are making it up. But unless you can give me more intel my hands are tied.”

I tried to think about what I had felt during the day. “Just … just make sure everyone is on guard. I don’t mean this casual stuff everyone has fallen into but the way we used to be when it was just the crew. Tighten things up. Make sure the people shepherding the animals don’t get complacent; I noticed today that they were too easy to pick off. The kids should stay in the wagons instead of running here and there; and those in the wagons need to stop sitting on the sides and making themselves an easy target.”

I could feel him looking at me in the dark. “Good observations. Chuckri and I both said the same things earlier. You feel that strongly?”

“I feel that strongly Thor.” I stopped and then tried to explain it more. “I’ve never walked the dangerous lands you have. I’ve never been in the kind of battles you have. I’m not trained the way you are. But I’ve walked our fence at night when there were poachers around and knew what they were capable of it I wasn’t careful. I’ve had to hide from drug runners who were using the AT and forestry roads in the area to move their stuff and didn’t want anyone to know; more of that stuff goes on than most people realize. I’ve been stalked by animals and people, both out to do me harm. I know that feeling. And I felt that feeling today.”

He surprised me by saying, “OK. I’ll be right back.”

I was left sitting there with my mouth hanging open. Ten minutes later he was back. “Now, we’re going to lay down. I’m going to hold you. And we’re both going to get some sleep. There is nothing else that can be done tonight. If something is going down we both need our rest.”

“You can just … fall asleep? Like nothing is wrong?”

“No. But I’ve done what I can for now; addressed the potential threat as constructively as I can for now. And if I am going to continue acting constructively I need to get some sleep … and so do you. Tomorrow I want you to try and see if you can refine whatever you are feeling. I want you to continue talking to me about what you feel. What I do not want you to do is keep this all bottled up inside because whether something comes of it or not, I want you to know I’m listening to you. Understand?”

I believed him and remembered that I could have confidence in him; and with that I was able to relax enough to get some rest. However the next morning it didn’t take long for that feeling of being watched to come back … and I noticed I wasn’t the only one that had started to get that feeling on the back of my neck.

Before we got back on the road Thor called a quick meeting. “Listen up people. For the next several days we are heading into an area that has the potential to be problematic. Cape Girardeau is the next major city and it is a large one. My preference would be to avoid it but the plain fact of the matter is that we have to cross the Mississippi at some point and that is about it for this area … and we better hope the bridge is still passable or we are going to have to make a very, very long detour so Uncle Bedros if you’ve got any pull with the Man Upstairs I’d start asking for some favors.”

Thor looked around and then put on a forbidding expression. “Next order of business. Things are getting sloppy. We’ve been lucky and that’s all we’ve been. I do not intend on basing my safety, the safety of my men, or the safety of this caravan on luck. From here on out until I say otherwise we will be working with double guards. And another thing, those caring for the animals either need to stay sharp and keep close or we’ll have to leave the animals behind.” At the murmur of outrage this brought he said, “That isn’t my preference either but the fact remains that the safety of a person outweighs that of an animal. And speaking of, no more letting the dogs wander away. Either they stick close and do their job or they get leashed up and put in a wagon.”

He continued running through his new list of do’s and don’ts and by the time he was through the group’s mood had changed and everyone was very subdued. After Thor and the crew left to finish loading up for the day I saw Uncle Bedros and Ludvig stop Chuckri. I felt like I was being nosey so I turned my head and found myself confronted by Pilbos.

“Is he serious?” The question was more wary than angry.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Look, so maybe I’m not crazy. Last night when I was out taking a … er, taking care of some business … it felt like someone was watching me. I thought at first it was Taniel because he likes to jump out of bushes and try and catch me off guard. It’s stupid. But, after … you know … and I kept waiting but nothing happened. I tried to tell myself he’d just given up or was trying to freak me out but … it didn’t feel like that you know?”

“Did you tell … Tavit?” It got confusing switching back and forth between calling the guy Chuckri and by his given name when talking to one of his family members.

“I was going to after breakfast but Thor started up first. You think I should still say something?”

“You should have said something last night,” I told him, a little outraged that he hadn’t.

He rolled his eyes. “All right, I get it, don’t yell. I’ll go tell him now … but he’s going to think that I’m making it up. I’m like, the brainless youngest brother.”

“If you wouldn’t act brainless they wouldn’t treat you like that,” I told him without regret.

“Gee, thanks for the support.”

He started to walk off but I stopped him by saying, “Pilbos, this is serious. For you and me … play time is over. Maybe it’s not fair that the world is making us grow up faster than we would have had to before but we didn’t get a vote. We don’t get to be kids anymore. I’ve figured my way through it and … and I’m pretty happy with the way things are going for me now. You need to … hurry up and figure it out too or … or you may not get a choice in the direction you have to take.”

He nodded, as serious I was. I saw him go up to the three older men, even if reluctantly, and start to talk. I went over to my horse and started to double check to make sure my gear was secured.

“What’s up with you and Pilbo Doughboy?” Thor asked. I noticed his face was carefully blank and wondered if maybe it was possible that he was a little jealous.

“Last night he was … you know, doing his business … and he thought someone was watching him. He thought it was Taniel at first but then he wasn’t so sure. He was going to mention it to Chuckri but he was worried that no one would take him serious, especially after you finished talking. He thought they would think he was just making it up to get attention or something.”

Thor ran his hands over the saddle to check on my double check and asked, “What do you think?”

“You mean do I think he was doing it just to get attention?” At Thor’s nod I answered, “No. It could have been Taniel, I’ll leave that to Chuckri to figure out, but I don’t think he was making anything up. He was too embarrassed.”

He sighed, “Well that cinches it. Alfonso and Barkley said they felt the same thing last night while on guard duty. Alfonso can be a little jumpy but that’s not Barkley’s style at all.” I could see he was battling with something. I understood what when he finally said in a clipped voice, “Rochelle I need you to run point for part of the day. Same thing you did when Evans was still with us. It’s going to put you on foot … I …”

“I’ll be careful. How far up do you want me?”

“Within easy hailing distance. You and Barkley instead of Evans. You know the drill. You move forward, wait for him to catch up. He moves forward, you wait for the rest of us then head forward and pass him. Never so far out a shout or whistle won’t raise an alarm, but far enough that you can give a trail advisory well in advance of any problems. I’ll put Pilbos on your horse and Ludvig’s son … not Taniel, the other one that’s so quiet … on Barkley’s mount. That’ll give us two more riders to guard the animals.”

“Will do,” I said falling back into the personality I’d used when I had been playing at being a boy.

“Rochelle?”

“What?”

Suddenly I was getting kissed in a way that reminded me rather forcefully that the last thing I was was a boy. Thor pressed me all down the length of him and then said, “Be careful.”

All I had the breath to do was nod before I went off to confer with Barkley and see if he was ready.

We left Jackson but we never really left the city sprawl behind. The corridor between Jackson and Girardeau wasn’t long … only about nine or ten miles – but it was lined with businesses and subdivisions.

We had crossed under I55 and had switched to the I55 Loop that would take us straight to the Shawnee Parkway Bridge where we would cross the Mississippi. Being point was nerve wracking in one respect but in another it gave me something to do with all of my pent of energy, gave me a focus to use it on and made me feel more useful which also helped. I had stopped at the County Memorial Park to wait for Barkley and was checking it out as a likely place for the caravan to pull over.

That’s when I smelled it. Death … or something close to it. But it was fresh. You could still smell the metallic, almost copper, smell of fresh blood … a lot of it. I followed the road and then heard the buzzing. Let it be an animal I prayed, please let it be an animal.

There was an area that had been trampled down so much that the grass no longer grew and it just looked odd. Things were disconnected like they didn’t belong together. There were mounds of fabric on the ground, pink and white. I thought, “Someone is dumping carcasses here? This is a strange way to do it.”

God help me I don’t know why I did it, it certainly didn’t make could sense. I bent down to what appeared to be the newest bagged up carcass and realized that a lot of it was buried in the dirt for some reason. “Too rocky to bury it all the way? Trying to keep predators for carting it off?” The longer I looked the weirder things appeared … and I still had that wiggy feeling but not like someone was watching me.

I pulled out my Bowie and sliced open the fabric bag and then fell back in complete disgust. I looked around me, at all of the white and pink piles and I blanked for just a moment, hearing nothing but the roar of the ocean in my ears. I was in the process of crawling away from the horror behind me when I heard a sound … thin mewling that was coming from a clump of bushes nearby. God help me but after seeing what was in the cloth behind me I couldn’t ignore it.

I quickly made my way over to the bushes but was careful after that. There was another bag in the bushes but it was a garbage bag … and it was moving fitfully. I didn’t have any choice, I ripped the bag open with my bare hands and there, laying in a pool of its own mess, was a little baby … and little baby girl to be more precise. Not a newborn but it couldn’t have been that old either … a couple of months but on the scrawny side. It didn’t have that newborn cry anymore. I reached in and plucked it out, naked and filthy.

I scrambled back towards the entrance of the park to find Barkley just arriving.

“What have … you ……. Got? Kid?”

I was shaking, with fear or fury or disgust I couldn’t tell. “It was in a garbage bag. Back there. Barkley … I think … I think …” I stopped and looked at the baby I held in my hands and finally pushed out, “I think that is a stoning field back there. Like in the Bible or something. There’s dozens of these … white … or sort of white … bags. I opened one. There was a woman in there. And there are these rocks all over the place, like baseballs.”

Barkley’s face was impassive. “Stay here. Keep watch but try and get some of the stink off that kid if you can. It’s not healthy for it. What is it anyway … a girl?”

“Yeah, how …?”

“Figures. Just stay here.”

He went off into the bushes and followed my trail back. It didn’t take him long. “Listen Kid, I’ve got to get Thor and bring him forward. Is the baby still alive?”

“Yeah … but I don’t … I mean … she doesn’t look too good.”

“Understand something here Kid, there might not be anything you can do for her. They could have fed her something before they dumped her. Or maybe not. She could be too far gone down the trail. Just do the best you can and I’ll bring help back as soon as I can. You going to be OK here? They’ve done their business … and not too long ago. Doubt anyone will be back this way soon.”

I nodded and he left at a careful lope. I looked down at the little life I held in my hands. She had curly black hair; it was so black that it absorbed all of the light rather than reflect it. Her brows and lashes were the same sooty black. Her eyes, when they briefly fluttered open, were also dark. Her skin tone wasn’t pink but had more of an olive tone though it was hard to tell under the filth that I was trying to wash off. She would mewl every once in a while but didn’t have the strength left to really cry.

It was nearly forty minutes before Thor and Barkley came back and I kept thinking that this little baby couldn’t make it but she hung on. Thor didn’t say anything, not then, just ran his hand across my head and cheek. I nodded and he and Barkley faded into the bushes.

When they returned to the spot where I was Thor sent Barkley back to the wagon while he stayed with me and looked at the baby. “The caravan should be within ten.” I nodded. “It was a killing field. We … we investigated some of the other mounds and you were right. They all appear to be stoning victims. Most of them … appear … to be female but some males mixed in there as well. It fits the profile we’ve seen before, but never in this country. And I’ve never seen them leave their victims to just rot like this.”

We both sat and watch as the little person I held struggled to stay alive. A few minutes later Elsapet and Richards ran up fast enough that Thor and I both nearly fired on them. Thor was very close to chewing them out but Uncle Bedros came up and ask, “Is it true?”

Then the confusion grew even worse when Grandmother Chuckri walked up and demanded, “Take me to this place.”

No one knew what to do with the fierce old woman. I stepped forward and said, “It’s not a good place Grandmother Chuckri.”

“Such places are not. But still … I will go … and you will take me,” she said looking directly at me.

I looked at Thor but he was dealing with Uncle Bedros so I held my left arm out so that she could balance herself and kept my rifle in my right hand. I looked at the baby for a second but then turned and did as the old woman had commanded me.

It wasn’t a long walk and she just stood and looked for a while before covering her face with her hands and saying something in Armenian. Her face was wet with tears when she turned to me and said, “I thought to never see such a thing again, to be free of such fear for the remainder of my life. Take me back to my son.”

When I got her back she looked at Bedros and said in one of the saddest voices I had ever heard, “It is as it was.”

While Thor, Barkley, Chuckri and I found a place a little further up and off the road that could conceal us the baby was put into the elder wagon. I was almost afraid to ask about her but then I saw Markrid caring for here. I didn’t want to approach so I looked from a little way off but she caught me and called me over. Vika sat near her but turned her face away when I got there.

“She lives. Look,” she said as she pushed the blanket down that she had been swaddled in. “My sister Anoush still has milk.”

The sister in question rolled her eyes and said, “Yes, but you will do the raising of this one. I have enough children of my own to care for and a husband who has in mind to give me more.”

Markrid smiled in a way I had never seen her smile before. “She will grow strong. God heard my prayers.”

I saw Vika’s mouth set mulishly before saying, “She’s a devil baby. Just like the one who found her. You don’t even know for sure …”

“Enough.” Markrid’s voice was like steel. “Vika, we have spoken of this already. Rock-ee is old enough to defend herself but this baby … she is an answer to prayer, my prayers, and you will respect that – and respect me young lady – whether you agree or not.” The baby started smacking her lips and sucking on her fist distracting Markrid. “Ah, she is hungry again. Anoush …”

“They are always hungry at this age Markrid. You will see.” But Anoush still smiled at both the baby and her sister. I remembered that Markrid’s husband had left her and never returned. It looked like she’d wanted a child more than the husband.

Thor and the other men were still worrying at the idea of whether to go forward or risk adding weeks to our travel time by finding another way across the Mississippi. Then a whiff of something caught my attention. The men wouldn’t be smoking, they knew better than to draw attention to us in this kind of situation … but still, I smelled tobacco. I tried to casually turn and look into bushes but it didn’t take long to find what I was after.

As soon as he figured out I’d pegged him he stepped forward with his hands out. He reminded me of Evans for some reason. “You ain’t one of them. I … I thought some of you might be … but they wouldn’t have taken in a baby … not one they’d already thrown out.”
 

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 43

“You people need to be careful; something has set ‘em off again.”

“Set who off again?” I asked careful to keep the stranger covered with my rifle.

“You aren’t from around here are you?”

I was not about to give him an answer and was about to whistle for Thor when the man in front of me says, “Whoa big man … I’m not looking for trouble. They just usually attack larger groups and I’m looking for a little place by your fire for …”

I didn’t hear what he was saying because I saw these two little eyes peeping out of the bushes.

“Thor?” He was busy grilling the stranger so I said, “Thor, tell him he can bring the kid to the fire.”

The guy looked worried and involuntarily glanced behind him. “Hey, that’s OK. I’ll just be going and …”

I said quietly, “Hey mister, if you’re just trying to find a safe place for you and the kid to rest for the night” … I glanced at Thor … “as long as you don’t make any sudden or suspicious moves, we’ll make room.”

It wound up being not one kid but two, a boy and a girl and Thor really wanted to say something to me about it I was sure but he kept it to himself until later. The boy was the older of the two but not by much; if there was a year between them I would have eat my hat. Richards insisted on looking the kids over and other than the boy having a scab on his knee that needed cleaning and the girl having a bump on her forehead and a scratch on her chin they appeared healthy enough that they weren’t quarantined. They wouldn’t leave the man’s side however but Loosig, Anoush’s oldest daughter, was very good with small children and got them to crawl out of the man’s lap … who turned out to be their uncle … and sit on a small plastic table cover and drink some milk.

“I don’t guess they’ve seen milk in … well, since probably when the power went out,” the man said. “My name is Hal … Hal Jensen. The kids are Jeff and Emmy but we call her Tink, they were my sister’s.” He sighed the said sadly, “She didn’t last two weeks.” He checked to make sure the two kids were otherwise occupied and said, “I … I don’t like to speak ill of the dead, especially not family, but my sister was an accident waiting to happen even when times were good. She was just plain useless when stuff hit the fan. I was home on leave … I was stationed on the southern border – civilian patrol, five years … when everything went crazy. I was crashed on her couch because my other sister and her family were staying at my parents’ place. What a mess.”

After everyone had calmed back down and gone back to preparing dinner – it had been decided to stay in the warehouse we were using as cover for the night rather than risk going into town with no forward intel – Thor said, “Mr. Jensen …”

“Hal. Let’s just leave it at Hal.”

“All right … Hal … you seem to have some information that we need. We gave you and your family space around our fire, you think you feel up to sharing now?”

“Ha. You might not be too happy when I do … or think I’m insane … or worse.”

I looked over since Thor was losing his patience with the delay and to head off any trouble I interjected, “You might be surprised. But either way, let us be the judge of that and just tell your story.”

“All righty then. Like I said, I was home on leave and staying with my sister and then it hits the fan. Two weeks in my sister ODs on her meds ‘cause she was having panic attacks. I don’t think she did it on purpose … she was just … weak. Yeah, one of those weak people that just stands there while the world chews ‘em up and spits ‘em out. Things were really bad in the city for a couple of weeks, all sorts of crazies running around. People were dying but there wasn’t really a mass die-off like I’ve heard there was in other areas, just dribs and drabs here. But something started happening.”

He took a swallow of water and continued. “It seemed to be a good thing at first. Groups would band together and help each other. After a while though it wasn’t neighbor helping neighbor it was color helping color, religion helping religion … that sort of thing … you stuck with the people that were most like you … the outside meant more than the inside it seemed. Then these groups started fighting with each other. At first the fights were just … you know … words; but it didn’t take it long for words to turn to sticks, sticks to stones, and stones to bullets. Sometimes two or three groups would join forces to take out another group … three small groups would take out one large group, weird stuff like hook ups you never expected to see. Like the enemy of my enemy is my friend type stuff.”

Another sip and I noticed his hands had started to shake. “But not being part of any group I started to notice stuff. It was like one or two of the groups would just kind of sit back and let the other ones destroy each other and then they’d come in behind them and clean up … take their supplies, take their territory, take their women, freaky crap that didn’t make any sense. In less than two months there was only three main groups left … a group that is what you’d call kind of a Judeo-Christian umbrella group, then a Middle Eastern group, and the third group was made up of all the people that were left and were generally caught between the first two groups.”

Hal was full of nervous energy and was getting twitchy. Someone handed him a bowl of stew and he didn’t even think about it, he started feeding the two kids. Markrid saw, walked over, and brought another bowl and a good chunk of flat bread. Hal looked up and I swear it looked like he’d walked into a brick wall; his mouth all but fell open. The young boy pulled his uncle’s pants leg and said, “Uncle Hal, that’s the pretty lady that took that baby.”

I’ve got a weird sense of humor about some things and looking at the two of them I had to cover my mouth or I would have laughed out loud. I don’t know who was redder, Markrid or Hal. Uncle Bedros’ didn’t miss it either and I couldn’t help but lean over and whisper, “Guess when God decides it’s time for a prayer to be answered He doesn’t do it in half measures.” Suddenly Uncle Bedros started looking at Hal in a very speculative light and rubbing his chin. That almost broke my composure completely. On my other side Thor put his toe to my ankle and gave me a warning look so I tried to go back to being an old sober sides.

“The JC’s … what I call the Judeo Christian group … they got along fine for the most part though they would have a spat on occasion. The secular group I guess you’d say was a group only because I’m not sure what else to call them. They’d work together but only on a case-by-case basis and I never saw ‘em come together all at the same time. Now them Middle Eastern folks … they’d come together and beat the fire out of the other groups but that’s the only time they seemed to get along.”

Thor said, “That’s interesting Hal but that still doesn’t explain what has you so spooked and what situation created that killing field.”

Hal shook his head, “It does and it doesn’t. I had to lay the foundation for you to understand what started happening about the middle of May. See those Middle Eastern folks, they were here before the collapse but it’s not like they had a huge population of ‘em. We had maybe four or five businesses that were owned by peopling claiming to be Muslim … and two of them were gas stations. I’m not saying that to bad mouth ‘em, just it’s the fact. Now there was a Muslim student union and that could get rowdy on occasion but most of that could be put down to someone getting the kids wound up and not because they’d come up with trouble all on their own. From what my Pop told me most of the Muslims didn’t like it when the kids brought the authorities around and tried to keep a tight rein on ‘em.”

He sighed, “But after the collapse … something happened. You know there were them rumors flying that the Greenies and the Muslims had come together and started the whole thing. Some of the Muslims received a real beat down from the locals over it so they felt they had some scores to settle. It was bad but mostly normal stuff … beat down for beat down, trashing a store, scaring the crap out of the family. Then these guys from over in Cairo show up.” Hall stopped and seemed to be thinking of how to explain things.

“They were hard cases … refused to speak English, wore Muslim garb, treated their women like they were back in the old country. Real America haters … so bad it made me wonder why they were here in the first place. Then they started beating on other Muslims that didn’t follow Sharia law. Pretty soon they had taken over them people … the old leadership are mostly in another one of them killing fields in Capaha Park near the university. There was some kind of purge; I mean that they killed a lot of their own. They tightened up their power base and locked down their community. I’m telling you the blood literally ran in the streets. But the JCs, man when they got wind of what was going on … if the blood ran before it became a flood when they got involved. Both sides whacked each other like they couldn’t get to their version of the afterlife fast enough … and the rest of us caught in the middle died too.”

“The fighting spread to Jackson and from what I hear over into Cairo too. Then people started dying. I don’t mean dying from the fighting I mean dying from some kind of sickness. Both sides died hard even though it was rumored that it started in a Muslim neighborhood. It was so bad that it burnt itself out in two weeks and those left behaved even crazier than they were before. It’s an automatic death sentence for anyone that ‘offends the prophets’ or ‘blasphemes allah’ … or basically does anything that the head honchos of the Muslim camp don’t like. They’ve killed so many of their own women they are having to go steal some from other places. And they ain’t too picky about how old they are either … sick @#$%&?}.”

No one said anything so I asked, “You said they attacked caravans?”

“Not groups the size of this one so much. They’ve spent most of their ammo and what they have left is held by the leaders of the community. Some of us think it is because they are afraid their own people will revolt or assassinate them.”

Alfonso said, “Yeah, if I was them I’d be worrying about that too. ‘Specially if they ain’t got anything to keep their people happy. Them killing all the women wouldn’t make things too comfortable that’s for sure.”

I was thinking and Thor must have smelled it because he asked, “If you know so much, can you tell us if they track groups they are thinking of attacking?”

“You mean have they been tracking you? Yeah I saw a couple of ‘em. They’d been on your tail probably since Jackson. They have an outpost there they use, trying to plant a community up there I guess. They supply the gangs that operate out of Jackson with drugs and in exchange the gangs act as enforcers and informants.”

Barkley asked suspiciously, “How do you know so much?”

Hal took a deep breath and said, “You either wise up or you die around here. They tried to take Tink a couple of times, and some of ‘em ain’t too bashful to take young boys if you catch my drift. The last time they tried to take her we hit the road and started hiding doing the best we can by salvaging, most of us that don’t leave with either of the two camps of people live that way. I’ve been looking for a group to ride out of here with; I just want to get the kids on the other side of Cairo. These kids aren’t going to grow up if I don’t get them gone from this place.”

Then a thought occurred to me. “Hal? This Muslim group … do you know whether they are Sunni or Shia?”

He looked at me offended that I’d think he’d know something like that. “Just how close to them do you think I am?”

“You’ve heard them talking, have been here since the beginning. So, do you? Know that is,” I persisted.

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

“What about Twelvers? Have you heard anyone saying something about the Mahdi or something like that?”

“Mahdi? Yeah, they’ve used that word. You can hear some of ‘em screaming and preaching or whatever they consider it and they talk about this Mahdi person all the time.”

“You’re sure?” I had to know.

“Sure I’m sure. Sometimes they raise so much racket about it you can’t even hear yourself think and then they all get going and … and it gets scary and you find a hole and crawl in it and pray they don’t see you.”

I got up and walked away to the other side of a wagon and left the men grilling Hal some more. Thor made me jump when he put his hands on my shoulders and slowly pulled me back against him; I hadn’t heard him follow me. “You think this is what you’ve been sensing?”

“Not this specifically but nothing he said contradicted how I felt. Gangs in Jackson would account for the wicked and grody feeling. The fear would have been a result of that. The feeling of being watched was either the gangs or people from the Muslim outpost following us. At some point you can add Hal into that which may have been what Pilbos was sensing.”

“Well don’t sound so disappointed Hon.”

I turned around and looked at him. “That isn’t funny Thor. You act like I wanted it to be something.”

“Rochelle … Hon …”

“No,” I told him shrugging him off.

“Rochelle,” he wrapped his arms back around me. “OK, so maybe I stuck my foot in it again. But you want to know something?”

“”What?” I asked highly irritated.

“I’m relieved.”

“Relieved?”

“Yeah. They bleed Rochelle … just like all the other enemies that I’ve fought. They aren’t some boogie men that I have no chance against.”

I turned around in his arms and said, “I never said that they were.”

“Girl, you just don’t realize how spooky you were getting. Just because I knew it intellectually doesn’t mean I don’t have an imagination too. This situation we’re faced with isn’t good, but it isn’t some supernatural woolybooger either.”

I leaned my head down on his chest. “This isn’t over. Those Twelvers can be as crazy as the Greenies can. Remember when it was all over TV that little guy Ahmadinejad and a couple of guys from his cabinet said that they wanted to cause the world to descend into chaos so as to force the Mahdi to return? Those guys were members of the Hojjatieh Society before Ayatollah Khomeini banned it because even he … the crazy of crazies … thought the Hojjatieh were too violent and fanatical to be allowed to continue.”

He gave me a very weird look. “For someone who is little more than a … God help me … little more than a kid from the country you sure know a lot Middle Eastern politics and religion.”

“Well if you’d had people threaten to kill you all of your life you’d want to know who was out to get you too wouldn’t you? One of the few times my dad let slip that he was really worried was …”

“Was?”

Not wanting to sound pathetic but probably doing so anyway I said, “Look, my folks weren’t crazy but they hadn’t exactly been blessed when they got me for their flavor.”

“Rochelle …”

I patted his chest, “It’s OK Thor. They loved me and I loved them but I wasn’t blind to the hardships having me as a kid caused them. People avoided them or downright cursed them in some cases. There was a financial burden they had a hard time keeping up with. People trying to get into their business that had no right to be there. A group tried to have me removed and put in mental hospital because they claimed I was dangerous and made Mom and Dad out to be nuts because they wouldn’t do what was best for society at large. Lots of stuff like that but the worst was when we’d be physically threatened. We’d always hear the rumors first because of the contacts the Marshalls had and with Jonathon being my best friend … it had its perks I guess. When the rumors started that the Greenies were hooking up with some radical Muslim groups and what that could mean … Dad … well he … I heard him talking to Mom and they were both wondering why God had done it to them; given them me for a baby.”

“What?!” Thor asked, upset for me.

“Easy. They never acted that way with me … plenty of times they both put themselves in front of me to keep me from being hurt by people that should have known better. They didn’t know I was snooping around, listening when I should have been in bed asleep. I figure they were just being human on a particularly rough day or something … but it did make me think … and it made me appreciate them even more. But the thing with the radical Twelvers hooking up with the Greenies to bring about the end of the world, that worried my dad more than just about anything else. He added this room off the basement. We mostly just kept extra supplies in it but it was supposed to be like a panic room or something in case things went bad. And you are only one of two people in the world that know about that room now.”

Thor held me for a moment then muttered into my hair, “Thank you for telling me. I wish I had met your parents.”

I smiled despite everything and told him, “Mom would have been gaga over you and Dad would have come around … though you’d have probably come over to find him cleaning his guns more than once or twice to send a message.”

Thor’s chest bounced with suppressed laughter. “He’d have every reason to as you can well attest to.” Then he got serious again. “I’m not going to ask you to disguise yourself as a boy again. One I don’t like it and two, I don’t know that you could pull it off anymore. You lost some weight when you were sick and your face is softer … and so’s the rest of you.”

“Watch your hands Buddy,” I told him. But I couldn’t deny it was true. I was still lean and hard but all of the traveling and difference in how I worked also changed my shape. I was most definitely girl shaped and it would be harder to cover it up.

“I’m serious Rochelle. You don’t know if you’re a target. I don’t think they would have any information on your personally but I’d prefer not to take those kind of chances. I’m going to quietly get the word around that until our guest leaves I don’t want anyone to mention you know what, not even amongst themselves in case we have watchers.”

“You think Hal is going to ask to come with us?”

“He sure seems to be leading up to it. And speaking of that … just because a kid is involved doesn’t mean you can suddenly go soft on somebody. Kids get used as decoys all the time. I didn’t get any bad vibes off of him and he seems sincere enough but no more of that, you hear?” When he said it like that I understood and quickly agreed to be more careful in the future. But it seemed kind of fated somehow.

When we got back to the rest of the group Barkley was saying, “So you’re saying that the best bet is to make a beeline for the memorial bridge, cross it and then hurry through Cairo as well? Try and get through it all in one day?”

Coming into the conversation Thor said, “No way will that happen. That’s roughly forty miles and we’ve never done better than twenty-three and that put a bad strain on human and animal alike.”

Hal said, “Don’t have to. There’s a JC enclave in this place called Olive Branch. They aren’t much for strangers but they keep the Muslims out and if we leave them alone they’ll leave us alone.”

Chuckri asked, “What can you tell us about this Olive Branch?”

“Not a lot. I’ve done some trading there but the community is pretty closed off from everything. The only thing that brings them out of their shells is if they think the Muslims are encroaching on their territory. And they’ve still got guns and that is what keeps the Muslim group from messing with them too much. They’re still too big a nut to crack.”

Thor pulled out his well worn map and said, “OK, tomorrow we get through town quickly – Girardeau to this Olive Branch – then we overnight there and get up the next morning and make a run through Cairo, cross the Ohio River and get into Kentucky as far as we can.”

The men continued talking but Mrs. Chuckri called me over. “We think we have a plan that will make things easier for the next two days but we could use another pair of hands.”

That was my clue to volunteer which I did readily as I was starting to get that nervous feeling again, like there was someone out there watching us.
 

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 44

Mrs. Chuckri said, “We will make Lavash … the flat bread that you liked the other night … and then we will have pots of other things to make wraps that we can make in the wagons and pass out so that we can eat on the move.”

I liked the idea. When Dad and I would hike one of our first lunches was usually something we could eat as we walked. This would be a similar type thing.

“Yes ma’am,” I told her. “What can I help with.”

“We will make the bread, it will go faster. Will you help make the beetroot hummus and falafel balls? In the morning we will make yogurt dressing, chopped some of the pickled vegetables we have, and cut some of the goat cheese. Tomorrow’s evening meal will be Red Lentil Soup as we have plenty … and we will be adding three more mouths?”

“Potentially, yes ma’am. I don’t know if Mr. Jensen has formally requested to join the caravan or not.”

“Hmmm.”

The “hmmm” was a mother wondering about something but I was going to stay as far away from that situation as I could. I had enough trouble with my own romance, the idea of playing cupid in any way kind of turned my stomach.

After I joined the group I believe I figured out why I was asked … my arms. I could have laughed at the relieved look on the younger girls’ faces when I proceeded to puree the canned beets and canned chick peas by hand. I didn’t mind, Mom was the same way at the holidays. She had muscles in her hands and arms that didn’t show – baking our bread put them there among other things – but she wasn’t shy about putting me to work when she had more than one or two items to do. I enjoyed kneading the bread though occasionally she would tell me to stop beating on it, that it hadn’t ever done anything to warrant me kneading it so hard the bread would wind up like a brick.

Soon enough everything was finished and packaged for the next day and I returned to Thor. Neither one of us had guard duty that night though we’d be on call in case anything suspicious happened.

“Someone is watching us again,” I told Thor soberly.

“Yeah, if they watched any harder we’d be feeling their eyelashes on our skin.” He stretched and I heard his back pop. “I’ve spent too many nights sleeping on the ground. What are the mattresses like at this farm of yours?”

I snickered a small laugh, “Softer than this ground is and wider than this sleeping pad.”

“How much softer? How much wider?”

“You’re in a funky mood. Did Hal say something else?” I asked him noting that he wasn’t as playful as he usually was when it was bedtime for both of us.

He was rubbing his neck and rotating it like it was bothering him so I decided to give him a message to get him focused on more pleasant things.

“Oooo, now that … ahhh … yeah, right … mmmm … yeah, right … there.”

“Now are you going to tell me or am I going to have to squeeze it out of you?” I mock threatened.

He snorted, “Ulterior motives? I’m shocked. Can’t a back rub just be a back rub?”

“Hmmm, seem to recall my mother telling Dad the same thing a time or two.” I laughed quietly but kept massaging because he really was tensed up. “Seriously Thor, spill it and tell me how I can help.”

He enjoyed the massage a few more minutes before turning the tables. “Your turn.”

“Hey, this isn’t quite what I meant.”

He grinned wickedly and said, “I know.” Then he settled down and got serious again. “Rochelle, do me a favor and … and be extra careful the next few days.”

“Bad feeling?”

“No more specific than yours,” he muttered. “But this does have the feeling I’d get before a nasty bit of conflict. Doesn’t have to mean a firefight of course but there’s some potential there as well. Too many variables here and though we have some intel from this Jensen fellow I don’t know how much credence to give it. I have nothing to measure it against. He could just be feeding us a line.”

“So we prepare either way,” I told him.

“I’d rather be able to put all of our energy and resources into a single type of action rather than splitting our energies,” he said, still troubled.

“So, again, what can I do specifically?”

He sighed, “I hate having you be in this.”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, don’t get bent out of shape. Now that I’ve found you and admitted that I can’t live without you it would be nice if we actually got to live and grow old together.”

The brashness of that statement took my breath away.

“But on the other hand,” he stopped and I could sense he was struggling to say something. “Hon, if … if something happens to me, I don’t want you taking any risks. Just get going and don’t look back. I’ll either catch up … or I won’t. And if I don’t … if I don’t I don’t want you crawling in some hole and giving up. I watched that happen to my mother and I won’t rest easy thinking that I … I did the same thing to you.”

I wanted to punch him but for the sake of his feelings I didn’t. I turned around and said, “Thor, I’ll try … if for no other reason than your peace of mind right now … but I’m not just going to give up on you so can we change the subject before we get into an argument that neither one of us is going to win? That’s not what I want to do right now.”

His eyebrows shot up into his hairline. “Oh? And what is it you want to do?”

“Talk a little more about that living and growing old together. Gives us incentive to get through the next couple of days, don’t you think?”

So we talked the mushy talk for a while and then we both knew we needed our rest. I was briefly tempted to just say the heck with it and go with the flow but I’ll be honest and say that I was still looking for something a little more. I wondered if I was being too old-fashioned … wanting some kind of ceremony in front of other people that said, “Hey, we’ve decided to make this forever and ever amen.” Whatever was going on in my subconscious, it still hadn’t happened and so long as Thor seemed to be OK with that I wasn’t going to poke the bear too much, no sense in creating a problem where none existed.

The next morning came too early. Because we were trying to do twenty plus miles in a single day, miles that we weren’t really sure what they would bring us, we needed an early start. Everyone was quiet. Chuckri reported to Thor that he’d only been able to spot a single watcher.

“He had an old hunting rifle of some type … he was up in a tree so I didn’t get a good look at him … but he handled it like it wasn’t a normal thing for him to have one. It hung from a strap every time I checked to see if he was still there. He even looks like he fell asleep at one point. I’d have to save very little real training or too many hours … either way he didn’t pose a serious threat last night.”

Barkley walked up, “The one that just took his place does.”

I kept my ear turned to them but didn’t interrupt. Thor asked, “How so?”

“Kalishnikov rifle, more obvious training … it sounded like he laid into the guy he was replace and the one from last night seemed a little scared of this guy … plus, and worst of all, he seemed to have a working handheld radio. Looks like a AN/PRC-6809. They could have swiped them off of a SWAT team or something like that but I would have thought that the EMP would have gotten all of them.”

Thor was obviously thinking and Chuckri said, “If they really are part of a terrorist organization, they could have acquired them pre-EMP and had them in a hardened location. Not good. Thor?”

“Or they could have gotten lucky with an accidental Faraday cage. Either way we have to get on the road. The radio does make a difference, but it doesn’t change that particular fact. The longer we sit in one place the more time they have to surround us. Let’s head out … and keep an eye on the boys and those @#$% animals.”

We were making good time until the Broadway exit where we found a road block. Thor was not happy I am sure but it was my shift to be on point. I was looking for a way around the intentional mess that had been piled on either side of the route when a shot rang out. It didn’t come anywhere near me but from the corner of my eye I saw Thor reel in his saddle.

“Oh no you did not just do what I think you did!” I growled under my breath looking for the shooter. That’s when I saw them. They were inside of the piles of cars using them as cover. Being on foot I was a smaller target. I briefly wanted to smile at the irony of that but I was too angry. I started shooting into the cars and trucks that made up the roadblock when Montgomery ran up to me.

“Where are they?” he asked urgently.

“Inside the blasted piles. See ‘em?” I snarled.

“Well now … let’s just give ‘em a reason to be sorry they picked that particular spot. I been saving these babies since I found ‘em at the farm. I’ll give them greenies credit for having some pretty toys to play with. How’s your aim Kid?”

“You want aim you should get Pilbos up here. He was the quarterback,” I reminded him.

“Naw, Thor has him covering the younglings. Here, toss it and try and get it in rather than on the pile but duck after you do. Shrapnel is gonna fly.”

Montgomery told us after finding them that the little golf ball sized things were a type of V40 mini grenade primarily designed to be a frag type weapon. It felt like a skipping rock in my hand and that is how I threw it. I skimmed it right into the windshield of one of the piles behind the first one. For such a small device it packed a wallop; about like when Jeter McGree used some dynamite he’d swiped from the quarry where he worked to take out some stumps on his back forty.

All went quiet and Montgomery and I went running through the resulting mess looking for survivors. There weren’t any. I ran back to the caravan to relay the info while Montgomery continued on point. I found Richards finishing a bandage on Thor’s arm.

“Don’t Rochelle, there isn’t time. I want to get through before the hole we’ve opened closes back up. Is the road clear?” he asked sticking with his most professional tone that told me he was in pain.

“There’s one place that is a little narrow but it’s passable.”

“Continue on,” he ordered with a grimace.

 

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 45

I know I needed to stay focused but between my anger at the attackers and my concern for Thor who was extremely pale I suspected I was struggling to keep things in perspective and keep my mind on business. I knew for sure when we were in sight of the bridge and Montgomery caught up with me.

“Slow down Kid. You’re getting too far out front. Someone could get between us and cut off about ability to reach the caravan and lend assistance.”

“OK. How’s Thor looking?” I asked knowing he’d just come from back there.

“Stay focused,” he admonished me. “You aren’t going to help him worrying and getting yourself hurt ‘cause you weren’t paying enough attention. How do you think that is going to make him feel.”

I sighed know he spoke the truth even if I didn’t like it. I focused Evans’ binoculars that I’d inherited on what was in front of me. “Bridge is down to one lane as far as I can see. The vehicle left are all single layers and won’t give cover the way those piles of them did. But the way they are done this can’t be how the cars just stopped. Everything is way too neat; it’s not natural.”

“Mississippi probably has a lot of cars plugging things under the bridge. Hal said, and I guess you weren’t there at that point, that group from Olive Branch cleared it early on where the Muslim group tried to trap them on the peninsula, and in the process they simply upended a bunch over the sides. Another thing, you notice how all the buildings overlooking the highway are damaged pretty significantly?”

I said, “Yeah, I thought that was done in the rioting.”

“Only partially. Hal said that group fire bombed most of those left to get rid of the sniper vantage points. Apparently they had a big salvage operation going and then destroyed stairwells and catwalks to make them unusable.”

“Persistent sons a guns ain’t they?” But the picture he was painting actually made me feel blessed and grateful. We could have been hip deep in bad guys throwing things at us including bullets. “They haven’t tried to that the bridge out completely?”

“Naw. Both sides need it too much. The Mississippi is a dangerous river, difficult to go crossways on. The bridge is the most reliable route. The Muslims may shoot themselves in the foot at some point but not until they are willing to cut themselves loose from the leadership in Cairo.”

“So this isn’t anything but a preview of things to come.”

Montgomery shrugged, “Couldn’t stay easy forever.”

Actually crossing the bring was anticlimactic, at least until we got a half mile on the other side when I got a bad case of the heebies. Montgomery caught up to me. “Hey Kid, when I said slow down I didn’t mean this slow.”

I looked at him. “There’s a couple of people watching from those bushes.”

“How many?” he asked going into wolf mode.

“I don’t know. Probably two or three. I smell two different tobacco smokes for sure and maybe some Copenhagen in there too. Doubt someone is going to puff and dip at the same time.”

“You can smell that?”

“Don’t look at me all weird. When the breeze was blowing this way even Pilbos would have noticed it.”

A crafty look came over his face. “I’ve never seen a Muslim with a Copenhagen ring on his pocket. Cigarettes yes, dip … no.”

I just nodded trying to notice anything useful. Montgomery was fading to go back to the caravan to give them a heads up when I saw a rifle barrel poke from the bushes.

“Down!” Montgomery dropped and the rifle barrel disappeared. I was a hair’s width away from spraying the bushes but decided to give them one last chance since I didn’t know who was on the other side of them. “Hey, you in the bush, all we want to do is avoid trouble and pass by. No harm, no foul this time but I won’t put up with you aiming at my friend again. If you’ve got a problem with us passing by then explain before you shoot.”

No one said anything for a moment then a voice called out, “Are ye with them?”

“With who?” I asked.

“Them heathens,” the same voice answered to be followed by another voice with a less rural accent, “The Muslims.”

“We’re not with any group from around here,” I told the disembodied voices. “We’re just passing through, looking for a place to stay for the night out of everybody’s way.”

The second voice said, “You’re with that bunch from the bridge?”

“Yes,” I answered since they probably already knew the truth of it anyway.

I could hear them conferring then one shouted, “Whoa! No closer!!”

I turned to see Thor teetering on his horse and I hollered, “You people whoa yourselves. You mess with him and you …”

Thor called, “Easy no.” I turned and gave the bushes a dirty look, leaving Montgomery to cover us both as I helped Thor down.

I heard a voice from the bushes, “You better be related boy ‘cause we don’t tolerate that kind of stuff here.”

I was losing patience and turned around and said, “Keep your dirty mouth shut. If you had a lick of sense …” I didn’t get to finish what I was saying because Thor put his hand over my mouth. If he hadn’t been in obvious pain I would have bit him. Instead I nodded my head but let him not my feelings by snorting and giving him a look that told him just how fed up I was with the current male population in general.

A fourth voice spoke up from a direction I hadn’t suspected and with a little bit of laugh in his voice said, “Sorry ma’am. Taye must not have his glasses on.” A man in his forties stepped out much to the consternation of his fellows. Taking in Thor’s bloody bandage he said, “Looks like you’ve had some trouble.”

Thor said in a casual and reasonable tone of voice, “Nothing we couldn’t handle.”

The fourth man walked up easily but carefully and stuck out his hand, “Abe Rhodes.”

“Thor will do for me,” Thor said sticking his own hand out.

Mr. Rhodes smiled again, looking Thor up and down, and said, “I believe it will.”

A whiff of a smell on the wind had me turning back towards the bridge. At almost the same time Mr. Rhodes did the same thing. I looked over at Thor and said, “Exhaust, diesel.”

Mr. Rhodes made a motion with his arm and then turned to Thor, “Get your people and animals and come on. You can stay between the walls, but we won’t leave the gates open forever.”

Montgomery ran to the lead wagon and everyone started moving forward at a quick pace. I boosted Thor into his saddle and told him, “You’ve got point. I’m going back to help Chuckri get the kids in.” I took over at a run knowing that I’d likely be paying for that but too worried at the strength of any group that still had working diesel engines. Besides, Thor needed to be upfront to do any parley if need be.

I wondered what was taking the wagons so long to get going forward when I saw they boys dumping sheep and goats into the wagons with people as quick as they could be rounded up. “Keep moving!” I told them. “Faster. Better to lose an animal than your family. Move!”

The dogs were moving the remaining herd animals faster than the wagons could move so I sent the boys ahead. That’s when the first bullet came our way. “Faster!!”

Pilbos leaned down in the saddle and grabbed David and Chuckri had grabbed Taniel. “Go! I’ll cover the rear!” I told them.

“Cover your own rear!” hollered Pilbos. “If you don’t Thor’ll have our heads.” That didn’t stop him from moving forward and trying to keep the cows and their calves moving.

I picked some cover and proceeded to teach them that was following us that it wasn’t nice to hack off a girl from Virginny. It especially wasn’t nice to endanger our love life. Suddenly Montgomery was at my side. “Wanna play some more?”

“Don’t mind if I do,” I told him in a bloodthirsty frame of mind.

I wasn’t in the shape I was during the season but doggone I hadn’t degenerated into some weakling either. Now you figure they’d have learned some caution after what happened before hand but apparently not. I guess they were all too eager for them virgins they were constantly going on about. My throwing arm skipped that little ball shaped thing right into the cab of the lead vehicle. That made a food sized mess in the middle of the road, blocking it to the vehicle behind. We’d halved their forces in one boom.

But it didn’t stop them. Men poured out of the second truck like clowns from a clown car. Montgomery got my attention and we headed off at a run. There are days you fight and days you run to fight another day.

And days you dig in and fight whether you want to or not because you can’t outrun the enemy’s bullets.

Why is it during the worse time you get the hiccups? It was probably nerves but that didn’t make them any less annoying. They were also interfering with my ability to aim and shoot with the accuracy I normally had. Dat burn it I hate when that happens. But hiccups or not I didn’t leave Montgomery to do all the work.

Then from our side I caught a couple trying to sneak around us and cut us off. They rushed and the stinking hiccups messed me up again. I guess those knuckleheads didn’t expect me to turn around and rush them right back. I noticed when I took the two losers down they were kind of scrawny but that didn’t stop me from picking them up and slamming them down hard. I heard one of ‘em make this funny snapping noise and thought, “Oops. Gotta watch your strength girl.” Then I thought, “Oh no you don’t gotta watch nothing. Squash these idiots like the cockroaches they are.”

When I was through I turned to find Montgomery just looking at me and shaking his head. “Stop playing with your food Rocky. Let’s go.” We headed out at a good clip, unsure if we had any more following us. Before long I was glad my main pack was in one of the wagons. It was too flaming hot for this kind of nonsense.
 

 

[juco]

I read this story on your blog Kathy and I'm enjoying it every bit as much now as I did the first time around.
Thanks for putting it here. Hope you're feeling better!

 

[wab54]

I havent ever seen this story. I would have remembered it. It is a good one. I have worn out my refresh button looking for MOAR !!!!!!!



WAB

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 46

“Men perspire, women glow” … or so I was told by one particular Southern lady on a warm Sunday afternoon while we were sitting out food for dinner on the grounds. Pardon my French but what a load of manure. I may not have been the most ladylike lady that ever walked the earth but I still considered myself one to some degree and I wasn’t glowing or perspiring … I was sweating like a pig. Who would have thought that it could get that hot in Illinois of all places? When I thought of Illinois I always pictured Chicago in the winter with wind blowing people and snow sideways, not humidity that reminded me of summer vacation back home.

The heat rash prickled under my arms reminding me that I was stupid to have given into vanity and shaved there a few days earlier after catching some of the other women in the caravan prettying themselves up. Dumb. It’s not like Thor was gonna see ‘cause I wasn’t wearing tank tops at night since the posed a temptation I sure as heck didn’t need to encourage. Not to mention the skitters would have just had new skin to aim for.

“You know,” I said to Montgomery after having to duck a sudden barrage of bullets, “I am just about to get fired up.”

Montgomery gave me a rather cautious look and said, “Kid, if you ain’t been fired up yet remind me to avoid you if you get that way.”

“It’d be the smart thing to do,” I agreed.

Running and ducking and weaving and bobbing will take it out of you but we didn’t have any choice. “How much ammo do those jerks have?!” I complained.

“About like us I reckon,” was his answer.

“That was a lot of help.”

“Aw, don’t get your knickers in a knot Kid. This ain’t half bad. Don’t seem none of ‘em are what you would call good shots.”

I snorted and would have replied but we had to hit a ditch to avoid yet another round of bullets. I looked ups and said, “Who on earth names a road Goodbread Road?”

“Does it matter?” Montgomery laughed. “You know, we ought to let a couple of them guys get close just so you can work off your bad mood. I ain’t never seen you like this.”

“Those … those …,” I sputtered. It was too hard to come up with something bad enough to call them without losing my religion. “Those so-and-so’s shot Thor. They better hope they’ve got sense enough between ‘em to stay out of my way or the crunching I gave the two that did get close will be a pretty picture compared to the way I’ll leave them.”

Since our enemy was still shooting we continued to stay ducked. Montgomery said, “First time you’ve had to face something like that?”

“Like what?”

“Danger to someone you’re close to.”

I sighed, “Sorta yeah and sorta no. Living in the backwoods … it can be dangerous at some points, especially with poachers, meth labs, drug runners, and things like that passing close. We had illegals made a camp in the national forest not too far from our place and they were stealing from our fields … and didn’t want to move along. One of ‘em took a shot at my dad and another bothered my mom at home when Dad and I were gone. Then … you know … stuff that’s happened since the collapse. Evans.” I hunched my shoulders at that memory. “But never anything quite like this I guess. Thor’s … different … special.” I was a bit embarrassed at talking about it while we were trying to avoid getting shot.

“Good for you. But the one thing you need to remember Kid. Thor is a man that has for the last decade and some spent most of his time in dicey situations. He’s been hurt before. He’s been hurt bad before. He knows how to handle it and handle himself. And if you and him are gonna stay together you need to be able to let go enough to let him do his job. My old man was a cop and my mom’s job was being a cop’s wife. They made it work. My uncle was a cop too but I watched him and his wife destroy each other because they couldn’t find a balance in there. If you and Thor are gonna be able to be together and work together at the same time you’re gonna have to find that balance. If you care about him you’ll do it.”

“So since I’m the girl …” I rolled my eyes.

“Life’s hard Kid. And God put women together different from men. Don’t ask me why because I ain’t that smart. All I know is that women seem to got more give in that area than men do. That ain’t to say that Thor ain’t got his work cut out for him too, but you’ll make it easier on both of you if you find a little more bend a little quicker.”

I blew the hair out of my eyes – I had stopped cutting back at the Chuckri farm and true to form it was growing fast. “Fine. But I still want to crunch something … preferably someone. I’ll turn all meek as soon as I get that out of my system.”

“Whooeee, and won’t I believe that when I see it,” Montgomery snickered.

Suddenly we both went dead serious. The bullets had stopped and six men came out of the tall grass they’d been hiding in. The area had definitely missed it’s bush hogging and grass, tall weeds, and bushes grew every which way. Montgomery tapped me and held up five fingers. I counted the ones I could see as they came ever closer and put up six fingers after I’d spotted a short guy in the very back.

Their robes where covered in burrs and hitchhikers. Their beards had more than a few in them as well. Feeling my own hair I realized I was going to have some fun running a comb through it before bed that night. Montgomery tapped me and started counting down, when he got to zero we popped up and due to the element of surprise Montgomery’s shotgun and my semi auto rifle cut all six down. Montgomery took a burn across the top of his hand but otherwise our strategy had paid off.

Montgomery picked up a gun that had belonged to one of our followers and finished the work on those that still drew breath. “No since in using our ammo for that,” he said. “Gather up what you can, especially … well, lookie here. A shamshir.”

“A what?” I asked as I picked up what I could carry.

“A shamshir. It’s a kind of Persian sword. Wonder where this guy got this one, probably a pawn shop. It’s too new to be a family heirloom … even if he could have snuck such a thing into the country. Here, we’ll take it to Thor, he’ll get a kick out of it. He’s been collecting knives and swords as long as I’ve known him.”

Well, knock me down with a feather. I had no idea. I wondered what he would think of my dad’s Bowie and Buck knife collections.

Being loaded down only made the slog through the weeds worse but we finally made it to an open space and took one step into and nearly got shot.

“What they hey?!” I yelped as we jumped back into the tree line.

Then I heard Chuckri’s whistle so we cautiously stepped out again and then made a run for it. We should have realized we hadn’t gotten all the clowns. Montgomery grunted and went down. I turned and two of them were practically on top of us. They must have been out of ammo because the guy with the gun was swinging it like a club.

I was mad. I don’t like to let loose too much because I tend to scare people. I mean I understand there isn’t necessarily anything wrong with anger but I’ve also got a duty not to give people heart palpitations that don’t deserve it. But I was done … just completely done.

I let off a rebel yell that would have curdle Grandmother Chuckri’s goat’s milk. The two men stopped and then jabbered. The only word I caught was “shai-taan” or it sounded something like that, then I was on them. I slammed the bigger one to the ground and then stomped him and then grabbed the little guy and used him to beat on the bigger one some more.

The out of nowhere Pilbos was there and screamed in my ear, “Thor needs you.”

That brought me up short. I looked over to find Chuckri and Barkley dragging the two guys off and then putting bullets into them. “Hey! I wasn’t done with them.”

“Sure you are Kid. Now stop messing around and give me a hand. I don’t intend on having made it this far to bleed out in a field of stinking sida.”

I piled all of the guns and ammo that I’d dropped into Pilbos’ hands and then picked Montgomery up in a fireman’s carry. He grunted and threatened to puke all down my back if I started jogging but it was more to take his mind off his real pain than a real threat … but just to be on the safe side I kept it to a smooth walk while the other three men covered our entrance into a tall gate.

I carried Montgomery over to where Richards was already trying to sit on a highly irritated Thor. “I ought to …”

There is only one cure for that kind of thing. I fell to my knees gave him a breath stealing kiss and promptly burst into tears. “Don’t … (hiccup) … you ever … (sniff) … scare me like that … (nose blow) … again! You hear me?!” Then I kissed him again and pretty much left him speechless and forgetting exactly what he’d been meaning to say to me.

The next little while was more of a blur than any kind of linear memory for me. I remember that Abe Rhodes came out and said we were welcome to stay behind the wall for the night so long as we didn’t get up to any shenanigans. He left for a while to give us time to settle down and take care of our wounded but came back later with some other folks that were interested in trading news and for some of the guns that Montgomery and I had collected.

“We’ve got guns, ammo, and reload capacity … but spare parts are nothing to sneeze at,” said the man who turned out to be the community’s armorer, or whatever you call the dude that takes care of the guns and knows all about them.

All of ‘em seemed nice enough but Hal had been right about one thing, they sure were closed off. They didn’t even want anyone standing close to the inner gates or looking in.

Thor was in a lot of pain but I learned real quick that trying to do for him was a quick way to make him irritable. So I hung around in case he needed something but I didn’t hover. By the time night had approached though I was ready to go to sleep. That long adrenaline rush had taken it out of me and so had the heat.

I had first watch with Chuckri and asked him, “I hate to seem like a wimp but … you know … do you think Thor is really OK or is he just acting OK because he needs to be.”

He nodded and said, “It’s OK Rocky. Thor really will be fine. He’s going to hurt … he won’t take any pain meds from the small stock we have so don’t bump his arm if you can help it tonight but he isn’t going to break.”

“It’s going to be rough tomorrow trying to make the same number of miles, especially if we run into more trouble.”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “I’d recommend against it if there was any other choice. But Rhodes made it pretty clear that his people wouldn’t tolerate that. I don’t think they’d drive us out if we had any really sick but they’d make it difficult for us.”

“They already have. I felt kind of exposed going over to that horseshoe lake to get water to filter and boil. Especially as I know they have to be getting their drinking water some other way in there.”

He nodded but was silent.

“Chuckri?”

“What?”

“How bad do you think Cairo is going to be?”

He sighed, “Expect the worst and you won’t be disappointed.”

I snorted, “Cute, but doesn’t help me much.”

“It is going to be too late in the day by the time we get there to fight our way through and then cross the bridge into Kentucky and find a safe place to stop for the night. We’ll stop in this place called Cairo Junction tomorrow night. Barkley knows the place since he grew up in Cairo.”

“Does he .. uh … did he …”

“Still have family there?” Chuckri asked.

“Yeah. That’s what I mean.”

“Naw. Barkley doesn’t have any family … I’m the only one that does as far … sorry … that didn’t come out too well.”

I shrugged, “That’s OK. It still hurts and one of these days I’m going to have sit down and have a good cry but my parents wouldn’t want me grieving my life away. I don’t know if my one aunt I had left or any of my cousins on either side of the family are still alive or not.”

“Maybe they’ll be at your farm waiting on you.”

I chuckled at the very idea. “It had been since my grandmothers died since any of them had been to the farm. And the road that they would have used then got taken out by a bad slide the next year. Forestry had to let us open a completely new one and the way Dad put it in … let’s just say if you don’t know how to get to our place you aren’t going to find it whether accidentally or on purpose. Not even the local government could ever find our place and made us keep a postal box in town so their people wouldn’t keep getting lost.”

Chuckri cocked his eyebrow, “That’s some tale.”

“You think? But I have to say I’ve personally been on three search and rescues when the county people tried to come out to our place to do an assessment and got lost. Satellite connection is so bad around that area that not even GPS helps. It works fine on the trails further off but the coordinates for our property just have ever been mapped right.”

OK, so I might have been exaggerating a little … but only a little. Dad and I really did have to go find those three county officials.

When I got off duty I went to the tent and found Thor grinding his teeth. I was prepared for anger but no for his pain. I went to my pack and pulled out my bottle of headache pills. There weren’t that many left in the bottom of the bottle.

“No.”

“Thor …”

“No.”

“Look, being a he-man is one thing but c’mon. Please Thor … they aren’t much more than …”

“No.”

“Just one … for my sake if you won’t take one for your own.”

“Rochelle …”

“I’ll give you puppy dog eyes … or better yet I’ll promise to mind you for … well, maybe not forever but for a while.”

“Oohhhh, don’t … laughing hurts.”

“Hey … I was serious.” Well, sort of anyway.

“Just give me the @#$% pills and let’s get some sleep.”

It was good to get my way because I had a feeling that tomorrow and maybe the next few days I wasn’t going to come anywhere close to that.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 47

You know how there are days that when you wake up the sleep in your eyes leaves them all cloudy until you’ve blinked a couple of times? Well, I couldn’t blink it away. I also noticed that it was lighter than it should have been and I jumped up but luckily didn’t wake Thor up in the process. It had taken him a while to finally fall asleep.

I crawled out of the tent and into … white cotton. Actually that is an exaggeration but it was just about as foggy as I’d ever seen it outside the mountains where I’d grown up. It was pea soup bad but still not as bad as the worst stuff that used to close down the Blue Ridge Parkway. I heard the animals lowing off in the direction they’d been confined for the night but I couldn’t see them. I heard the swish, squirt of someone milking and given the way the cows were pitching a fit I would say it was a goat as the cows were complaining about waiting in line.

I couldn’t rush to find Chuckri or Barkley because I really couldn’t see what was around me. I nearly stepped on Alfonso when I did finally … literally … ran into someone. “Whoa Kid,” he said quietly. “I was just coming to see if you two were awake. Chuckri needs to see you.”

A sudden groan followed by the front end of a curse that got bit off told me that Thor was awake. Alfonso looked at me and shook his head. “Man, he’s going to be fun to be around today. Here, this is some of that funky tea that Delia makes. See if it will help clear his head. Ain’t as good as coffee but, and don’t you tell her I said it, it ain’t half bad either.”

Poor Delia, seems the men had all adopted her like a sister and regularly ragged on her and Chuckri pretty badly. I carried the insulated mug to the tent and said, “Coming in. Don’t bite my head off. I just got up myself.” After I stuck my head in I saw him trying to get into the pill bottle and then get a closed off expression. I ignored his upset and turned it around by saying, “Thank you for not giving me a fight over it. I hate to upset you and I know you’re only doing it so you can keep going today. Here, you take this and I’ll open the bottle.” I handed him the mug which he could deal with one handed then popped two of the pills directly in his mouth. “My hands are clean so don’t make that face.”

He growled, “It’s not your hands, it’s taking these things. They irritate my gut.”

“You weren’t able to eat much last night. I wish you’d let me do more for you. I know you don’t really need me to … Chuckri told me you’re pretty self-sufficient as far as the male species goes … but still, I don’t feel like I’m doing my job. You took care of me when I was sick which was a lot more work than letting me do a little for you now that you’ve got to be careful with your arm.”

He gave me a look that would have burnt a hole through me if I’d been made of less. “Had practice schmoozing guys have you?”

I put a real innocent look on my face and played up the southern belle angle, “Why, I just don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m sure. All I meant is that …”

I never even got a chance to finish. He snorted and said, “Fine, just drop the Scarlet O’Hara act until I can play Rhett Butler. I assume there’s a good reason we aren’t on the road yet.”

“Well, come on out big boy and take a look at this fog and mist. I’m from the Smokies and not even I would want to travel through this stuff. Besides, Chuckri needs us.”

He straightened up, “Well why in the Sam Hill didn’t you say something before?”

“Because there isn’t an emergency apparently or Alfonso would have said hurry and you certainly deserve a short moment to pull yourself together. You went all day yesterday without a break even after getting shot and who knows what is going to happen today.”

He kissed me as I was holding the tent for him to get out and then said, “Don’t do it again Rochelle. I have to stay sharp … more, I have to look like I’m sharp even when I’m less than 100%. People expect it and for now I’m still in a position I have to give it to them.” I sighed but nodded. I guess that was one of those compromises that Montgomery had been mentioning the day before.

We started walking slow and careful in the general direction that Alfonso had pointed when suddenly this guy I’d never seen before barrels into us. I could just make out the momentary panic on his face while I tried desperately not to give him what for for joggling Thor’s arm.

“Jumping Jehoshaphat!”

Thor rumbled a little laugh at the lingering look on the guy’s face before asking, “You OK?”

“Er … yeah. You two must be Thor and … er … Rocky. Got a little sichiation we’re trying to clear up and we’re waiting on you.”

I bent over a little and said, “Well we’re coming obviously. Any particular reason you came instead of one of our own?”

“Uh … er … thought to … uh … hurry you up a might … and … er … We’re over this way.” He scurried off in the direction we had been heading.

Thor gave me a look and I asked innocently, “What? Was it something I said?”

“Behave or you can go back to the tent.”

Still in a half teasing mood I asked, “Why is it always the guy that gets to say something like that? I’d like to get a chance to …”

I didn’t get a chance to finish my teasing because we finally came around the last wagon to see some big guy take a swing at Chuckri. Pilbos, who was standing right there, bows up but the big guy pushes him back hard and he trips over something in the fog. I could hear like a buzz in my head the Olive Branch people hollering at their guy but it was too late. I’d been on the wrong end of things for too long and I can’t stand bullies.

Pilbos stepping in had cleared everyone out of the way and they hadn’t had a chance to fold back in. I stepped up and in close, catching the guy laughing. Well he stopped laughing and started squeaking when my knee piston up into the place it would hurt most three times. I stopped the annoying sounds he was making by head butting him like a ram. I stepped away from the guy, to watch him fall like a tall oak tree and decided to leave him retching on the ground.

I turned to Thor and asked him calmly, “What do you want me to do with him?”

Thor says, “So now you ask me?” just as calmly. I think the way we were talking freaked the Olive Branch people out a little bit.

Then I looked at the men from Olive Branch and saw a man I could at least call by name. “Mr. Rhodes any particular reason Samson there thought he was such a big prissy deal?”

I saw his mouth twitch just a bit before he said, “I do believe JR may have made an assumption that some of the people in the caravan were the same as those we fight.”

“Well, you know what they say about assuming anything. Let’s see how many different ways ol’ JR was wrong besides the fact that he is a donkey’s rear end. For starters, he don’t know jack. The Chuckri’s are ethnically Armenian … but they’ve been in this country longer than some of you people standing here have been alive. They came here legally and worked their tails off to make a better life for their immediate and extended family. They are a strong Christian family – which if it wasn’t for Uncle Bedros standing here would make me won’t to stomp ol’ JR a little more – and have suffered through a horrifying genocide of their own in the early 1900s. They came through it not only with their faith in tact but with it strengthened. In recent months they tried to open their arms to an ex-daughter in law who then turned around and did them dirt by bringing over some greenies that proceeded to kill one of their family members, seriously hurt another, and enslave the rest. The greenies also damaged a little girl to the point that it will take a long time for her to heal. Now just where you people get off …”

“Whoa Missy,” Rhodes said, holding up a hand. “I said that is what JR thought. I did not say his thought was shared by the rest of us.”

“Then why did your people just stand there and let him act the fool?!”

“Young lady, when two trains are about to collide do you think standing between them is going to do any good?”

I sniffed and then was further irritated when I heard some of our own people trying to hold back their laughter. But it was Thor that said, “Enough.” His deadly calm voice had an immediate impact on everyone, me included.

“Rhodes, my people have done nothing to warrant this kind of attack. I don’t know why I should have but the fact that you were a Christian community led me to believe that you would behave differently than most would these days.” That made me flinch. I wondered if the snuggling he and I did made a bad impression. “Apparently I thought wrongly.”

One of the other men said, “You have no cause to say that to us. We could have just left you to fend for yourselves against them moooslums.”

“You did,” I said. “I didn’t see any of you all covering our back trail or clearing the road for us to get here. So while I thank you for the ground to sleep on for the night, you are making your hospitality out to be more than it was.”

Mr. Roads mouth twitched again. The man must have a wicked sense of humor. “She’s got a point Burt.” Then he turned back to Thor. “On my word alone I can get you another day to wait out the fog – it do hit funny around here sometimes – but that is all I can offer. Our community, for good or ill, is a democracy and we’ve had our share of trouble and don’t want no more of it.”

“If it were possible we’d leave now rather than create more problems for either of our groups,” Thor told the man. “Do I have your word that the trouble is over?”

“What does your man say? Does he want a pound of flesh from what’s left of JR?” Thor turned to Chuckri and at his nod though I could see it cost him some to give it Thor said, “Tavit says that it’s done.”

“Then I’ll make sure JR is done as well.” He turned to his other men. “Drag JR in and take him to the Center. He’s got some explaining to do.” Rhodes is a man of honor, I’ll give him that. He was the one that stepped over and held out his hand first to Thor, then to Chuckri, and last but not least of all to Uncle Bedros which I thought very fitting. Me he just looked at and tipped his hat all the while trying to keep his twitching lips under control.

There is nothing like a ruckus first thing in the morning to get your blood bubbling. I had adrenaline and nothing to use it on. Pilbos was feeling the same thing from the look on his face. “I coulda took him.”

“Maybe,” I agreed. “On the other hand the guy looks like he’d done enough street fighting that maybe it would have been harder than you expect.”

“Still …”

I shrugged. I didn’t want to hurt his pride. “Next time center your gravity better. Set yourself. You know, like when you are about to throw a football. You went at him all bowed up and chest out ‘cause you were angry. If your opponent had been smaller than you that might have been OK assuming he didn’t just knock your legs from under you. Small guys can fight dirty ‘cause they are used to having to beat the odds. But guys bigger than you … you need to think like a tackler. Center your gravity and act fast, take ‘em before they have a chance to get their center of gravity set … use their size against them. The best way to end and win a fight is to act and end it quickly. If you have an opponent that you are roughly equal to then is when you need to think about stamina and trying to outlast them. But never go in with your chest or chin stuck out … you are just asking to get knocked out.”

Pilbos just looked at me and then said quietly, “You didn’t learn all that on the football field.”

“Nope.”

“But you’re a girl.”

I smiled a little and told him, “You aren’t the first quarterback to say those words.”

He snickered a laugh and said, “I suppose not.” Then a moment later he said, “You got picked on pretty bad.”

It was a statement and not a question. I shrugged. “Life is like that. You either learn to deal with it or you curl up and die. My parents raised me to learn to deal with it. Most of the times that meant just ignoring the ijits in the world but there are times that you do have to stand up and fight. I avoided fighting when I could. It didn’t always work. I tried to turn the other cheek like we’re supposed to … but sometimes I just flaming got tired of being slapped around. Don’t use me as an example of what to be when you grow up. If I’d been all that great I could have figured a way to avoid most of the trouble I’ve seen in the first place and I wouldn’t have had to know how to fight.”

It made me sad to think that although my life had changed a lot in one respect it had also hardly changed at all. The players had changed. The weapons had changed. But it was still a whole lot like the playground where people couldn’t decide whether to use me to win tug o’ war, hide from me because they were afraid of me, or ridicule and distrust me because I was different. I was finding out too that people never really outgrew the playground mentality no matter what they claimed.

And just like that I was in a blue funk. Pilbos was called away by Ludvig to help with something leaving me to stare off into the mist and see nothing. “Hey, where are you?”

Thor was looking right at me so I didn’t understand. “I’m … right here.”

“You’re a literal little thing. I meant your thoughts have taken you someplace and it doesn’t look like a happy one.”

I sighed. “Don’t worry about it.”

Thor’s eyebrows snapped down. “You know just because I’m hurt doesn’t mean you can’t talk to me. I’m not about to pass out or …”

I put hand on his chest and rubbed. “I didn’t mean it like that. Sorry. I’m just … I’m not sure it’s worth talking about. Lord when will this fog lift? I need to get out and do something.” Walk, run, carry … anything hard and physical that would let me get passed the feelings that I was feeling.

Thor put his hand over mine. “Rochelle, spit it out. You might as well know I won’t let up until you do.”

I figured he was right. “Do I ever embarrass you?”

“Excuse me?”

“Thor I’m serious. I’m trying really hard to use some self control, not do things that will irritate you or cause problems but they still happen. Or worse, I wind up doing things that make people forget I’m a female … and while I may not want anyone to make excuses for me because I’m female I don’t want people to forget it either and … oh botheration. Just forget it.”

“Don’t make me chase after you, my arm is too sore for that. What has brought this on?”

“I didn’t even think what it might have meant to you for me to take that JR guy on. It just slipped out. I saw a bully and I wanted to stomp the bully. I didn’t think beyond that. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, Hon … look at me. You do not embarrass me. You’ve scared me a few times. You’ve irritated me more than a few. But I’ve never been embarrassed by you … or of you which is what I think you’re really asking.”

I sighed. “Yeah. I guess. I … I’ll try to be more ladylike.”

“Don’t. I like you just the way you are … well, you could let your hair keep growing. I’m having all sorts of fun times imagining what you’ll look like with long hair.”

“Thor,” I said. “Honestly, you were shot yesterday and we are in the middle of a real pickle here. How can you still act like a randy ol’ goat?” I didn’t know whether to laugh or not.

“You make me feel like that, that’s why. And for your information Hon, you are the only one that has ever made me feel quite like this. I swear I’d likely follow your skirts to the edge of the earth and back just on the off chance one of these days you’ll say yes.”

I shook my head. “You’ve never seen me in a skirt. And … and I’m not saying no because I don’t want to. Just … just …”

“C’mere. This needs a little privacy.”

We walked down a ways and out from under the rest of our group. “Sit here, it’s not so damp. Now listen up. In case I haven’t made it plain I’m completely mad for you. But I’m not completely ignorant and I’ve got concerns of my own. I keep letting myself forget how young you are … and how inexperienced.” He stopped like he was trying to find the right words but I didn’t know how to help him. “Rochelle, on the practical side, to make things as right as they can be it takes time to get to know your partner. If we jumped right into sex there is no saying that we could ever have it as good as it could be. And there is also the issue of protection. Right now would not exactly be the prime time for you to get pregnant but neither one of us can just walk to the corner drugstore and buy something to fix that. Even if you said yes I’m not sure I would. Things are too … too dangerous and out of sorts right now. On the other side of things is the fact that I know … and don’t deny it … you’re struggling with whether sleeping with me is right or not. And I don’t know how to fix that. I’m not sure I even believe that a piece of paper can sanctify people sleeping together. But I know that you do … I just don’t know how to provide it for you Hon.”

I bowed my head, “I’m sorry Thor. I’m trying, I really am …”

“I know. I’m not blind Hon … you want it too but then I see the guilt in your eyes. I wish you wouldn’t feel guilty but I know that it isn’t my fault that you do.”

“Of course it isn’t your fault,” I told him, upset that he might think that I thought it was his fault.

“Well, then we agree on that. The rest we’ll work on … when the time is right. For now I’m enjoying the torture.”

I wanted to believe him, I really did but what he was saying didn’t fit anything that I’d heard from other people.

“You’re worrying at it again,” Thor mumbled. “I can hear the marbles rolling around in your head at breakneck speed.”

“Thor … it scared me yesterday. Maybe I’m being selfish, but I’ve already lost so much. I don’t know if I could stand losing you too. I never really expected to have this … whatever this is between us. To lose it before I’ve even had the chance to understand what it means … It would be bad enough if someone else did it. But if I did it simply by being me … I just …”

“Hush now,” he said gently. “I’m not going anywhere. You aren’t the only one that has suddenly discovered that there is something left to lose in this life … and something left to live for. And if something does happen, we’ll just have to work on having no regrets. Bedros said …”

I looked at him and said, “You sure are talking to Uncle Bedros a lot lately.”

“He’s a man worth talking to. I’m starting to see things I was too busy to see before. And one of those things is that sometimes you just have to wait on the timing to be right. You can’t force it. And … I’m remembering things my dad tried to teach me when I was little. He meant well, I just don’t think he knew how to reach out … or maybe my mom got in the way of it too much.” He shrugged, “That was a long time ago but I do remember my dad and I walking across the street to go to the chapel that was there a couple of times a month.”

“Not your mom?”

“Nope. She called it … well, never mind what she called it. The older I get the more sure I am that as happy as she seemed when my dad was alive, a part of her never was. And if you don’t mind that is just about as far down memory lane as I feel like travelling right now. I need to go talk to Chuckri, check on Montgomery, and make sure everything is prepped to get out of here as fast as possible tomorrow.” He hissed in pain when he accidentally hit his arm but eventually we both got on our feet.

Suddenly from out in the fog came the unmistakable sing song sound of a prayer … a Muslim prayer. Uh oh.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 48

That sound coming through the disintegrating mist cast an eerie emotional blanket over everyone for a moment. It took a while for the people inside the Olive Branch compound to answer our knock on the inner gate.

After listening to them bluster and complain Thor stopped them with a growl. “I’m not asking for a favor, a hand out, to see the inside of your sanctuary, nothing. All I want to know is if you can normally hear them praying.”

Abe Rhodes pushed through the gate shaking his heads and muttering something about “paranoid ijits” under his breath. Then to Thor he said, “No. And we shouldn’t be hearing ‘em now. They are way outside their territory. We beat ‘em off last time but at some cost to ourselves. Seeing how your crew is professionals at this so to speak …”

He left that sentence hanging. Thor just stood there a moment then looked at the crew. “The world is changed. We all worked for a contractor before. My authority over these men for that dangerous work was based on what we had all agreed to and got paid for doing. We have stayed together since then for mutual protection and by default I’ve continued as the leader.”

“Are you saying you need to be hired to work?” one of the men from Olive Branch asked.

Rhodes rolled his eyes Heavenward as if asking for patience. Thor didn’t but I could see he was fighting for some. “No. I’m saying I don’t have any authority to order these men to do what you are asking. If any of them do this, it will be because they feel it is necessary and the best course of action, not because they’ve been ordered to. Not anymore.”

Barkley stepped forward quietly, “I’ll recon.”

Alfonso said, “Sure, why the heck not. Seems we might owe them some trouble to pay them back for what they’ve given us.”

Chuckri said, “I can’t risk taking our children out there until I know the road is cleared.” His way of making his choice for his family.

Surprisingly Hal then stepped forward. “If I have your word that someone will take care of my niece and nephew should something happen to me I’m on board. I have some experience from being on the southern border for five years. The drug cartels weren’t exactly gentle lambs. And here I won’t have to worry about political correctness or treating them with kid gloves.”

Richards said, “I’ll cover the outer gates.” He turned to look at Elsapet and I realized something was growing there. Good for them.

Montgomery showed up and fussed and mumbled then said, “Reckon I ain’t just gonna sit around. Richards will need some back up and that’ll be me. Long as I don’t have to run around I expect I’ll be fine.”

Everyone was standing around nodding and getting in the mood when there was a huge explosion and the outer gate simply didn’t exist anymore.

From that point forward bedlam reined. The mist was disintegrating but it was still there despite the hour of the day. It must have been some weird, local weather phenomena because it was like the humidity was actually holding the mist in place and not wanting to let it break apart.

There was screaming and caterwauling from every direction. I looked around but couldn’t find Thor. I was on my own whether he’d meant me to be that way or not. I tried to put my worry for him aside. This was his job and now I needed to do mine. The barrage of ordinance continued. I couldn’t see where it was coming from but the mist also hindered them from taking good aim and they were dropping short of getting into the Olive Branch compound.

I saw Pilbos, Taniel, and David and grabbed them. “Corral the animals or do something with them! If they get under foot it’ll be a bigger mess than we already have!” Giving them something to do and a direction to move put a bit of speed in their step.

Next I saw Bedros trying to help his mother and wife to a safe place. I snagged Tovmas and Soghomon next. “Take the women and children and put them with the animals, away from the fighting as much as possible. You and your cousins need to ring them and protect them.”

“Take this, you may need it.” said Soghomon as he and his brother went off to take care of their family. He left me looking at the shamshir and I wondered what in the heck he expected me to do with it. Then a yelping battle cry sounded behind me and I suddenly understood though shooting them was much easier.

If I heard the word “shai-taan” once I heard it way too many times. Why on earth did they seem to continue to come after me?

There was a lot more of the enemy than I had thought there would be. I already seen “gang” violence from big to small – from the road out of San Francisco where it was anarchy to the farm where the “gang” was cohesive based on a ideology and they day before where the Muslims were a gang based on their religion, but I had never seen it on this scale. They just seemed to keep coming and coming and coming. For every one I shot or … well, let’s just say close in fighting suited the shamshir better than the rifle … another one or two would show up.

I fought my way over to the gate where Richards, Montgomery, and a few others were trying to keep the oncoming enemy down to a minimum. “Montgomery! Where are your toys?!” I yelled to be heard over the screaming.

He shook his head. “Thor’ll kill me if you get hurt Kid.”

“And someone else’ll be dead – maybe him, maybe one of the kids, someone – if I choose to sit around and not contribute the way I can.” I was pleading with him and with both knew it.

He reluctantly nodded in the direction of a rucksack a few feet away. I picked it up and then took a deep breath. I knew what I was planning bordered on idiocy but the only way to stop the flow was to turn off the faucet. If the faucet wouldn’t work then I’d have to turn off the water main. What we were doing now was like bailing out the titanic with a tea cup. We needed to cork the hole.

Rather than go out through the main outer gate I went to the small break in the wall where another piece of their ordinance had gotten closer than was comfortable. Even in all of the chaos I was able to tell that the amount of ordinance had slowed down and begun to come at more regular intervals. It wasn’t “shock and awe” anymore but more like going from a string of black cats to a single bottle rocket at a time.

Getting from the wall to the tree line was not easy and took time. I had to belly crawl most of the fifty yards of open ground. Doggone if it didn’t remind me of some of the drills Coach would put us through during practice. Most of us learned to wear something with deet in it to keep from getting eat up by chiggers and grass gnats. I didn’t much care for those drills then any more than I cared for doing it while I was trying to avoid being shot at. I ate a lot of dirt and grass when I was forced to duck and I’d given a lot for a helmet.

There was several times I could have killed one of the enemy as they pounded past me but my goal wasn’t to engage anyone until I absolutely had to. I had to keep my goal in mind though it was hard to resist the temptation and drive that fired me as my adrenaline wound me tighter and tighter.

Finally I made it to the tree line but didn’t stand up. I crouched in the bushes trying to get my bearings and see if there was a path that I could follow. That’s when I spotted Alfonso. I crawled over to him and was almost too scared to turn him so that I could see him.

We both sighed in relief, “@#$% Kid, I thought I was a goner for sure this time.” But he sounded funny, like he couldn’t get enough air. “Easy Kid, I think … I think … ahhh.”

I looked all over but didn’t see a chest wound. I carefully lifted his shirt and saw the beginning of a bad bruise but no blood.

“Alfonso, hey man … can you hear me?” I whispered. His eyes were clinched shut, he was obviously in pain. “Look, you’re out here in the open. I’m going to carry you over to that clump of bushes. It’s going to hurt.” One eye cracked open to glare at me and I figured I had just stated the obvious.

When I got him over there and he no longer had the urge to puke I told him, “I have to go. I can’t believe these people are still coming. If they came all at once we’d be sunk.”

“Couple of headmen fighting and they’re telling their troops each to do something different. Too many cooks, not enough pots. Watch ‘em and see what I mean. They only have so many guns. They send a group forward and when they fall they have to send men out to get the guns and come back or get the guns before they move forward. Craziest thing I ever saw … and not all the soldiers really want to be here either. They’re sending out their dregs first – their cannon fodder – to beat down our people and they’re holding back their real soldiers to clean up at some point.”

“Where?”

“Kid you can’t take them on alone. Let me get my wind back.”

“No time. Just point me in the right direction … and where’s Barkley, Chuckri, and Thor? I don’t want to accidentally blow them up.”

“Blow them … ah, you been listening to Montgomery again haven’t you?”

“Not his idea this time. I’ve got a plan but you’ll save me some recon time if you’ll just stop acting like you need to change my diapers and let me get to work.”

His lips thinned and then relaxed and a look of appreciation came into his eyes. “OK Kid. Whatever you’re up to, make sure it hurts ‘em bad. They are using the clear space that was the highway to run things from. They aren’t really letting their guys go off into the tall grass … expect they are afraid of the number of AWOLs they’ll get that way. All of their munitions are back from their main line under heavy guard … they don’t trust their own people by the looks of things. As far as the rest of them go I don’t know, we got separated. Kid …”

“What?”

“Be careful.”

I nodded thinking that that wasn’t what he was going to say but I didn’t have the luxury of teasing it out of him. Having a direction I went parallel to the road as fast as I could. I bypassed the main line and again had to fight temptation not to stop and do something deadly. Not all of them looked Arab and then I was reminded that only twenty percent of the world’s muslims from the Middle East. Nearly seventy percent of the world’s muslims are from Asia. That would explain why they were having so much trouble working together. I saw small groups of ethnically similar men clustered here and there. None of the groups were “mixed.” I figured there was either a language barrier or it went even deeper than that to their very roots of how they practiced Islam. I knew I could use this but how was the question.

I wanted to throw those little exploding golf balls … those V40s … into the groups standing around so bad I could taste it. I wanted to cause mayhem right then and there. I concluded I wasn’t a soldier, not a real one, I was just a fighter and it took almost too much energy for me to stay focused on my mission. I wanted to pound on everyone, do some major crunching. It wasn’t until I forced myself into football game mode that I gained the best control of my emotions and drive I’d had up to that point.

For some reason I kept thinking of Vika. I knew if I didn’t do this thing I planned to do her life, assuming it was left to her, would be a horror. Women under the yoke of Islam suffer terribly compared to the freedom and equality of Christianity. Supposedly the Koran says that a man should take only one wife yet multiple wives as a lifestyle is prevalent in Islam. Muhammad is supposed to have said that the ink of the scholar is more holy than the blood of the martyr yet we see how that works in “modern” Islam, especially as it relates to women. For all that little girl had done to me I couldn’t stand the idea of her being further victimized by the enemy I was facing this time.

Now it wasn’t just about plugging the hole, it was cutting the head off the monster. I was hoping that if I could destroy the leadership whatever stability and truce the groups had reached would fall apart making them easier to pick off or even better, would make them fall back into the constant in-fighting so that they would eventually destroy themselves. It was going to have to be a surgical strike and I wasn’t really built for it. I needed a quarterback’s strategic skill and agile body and all I had were my oversized body parts and a desire to end this nightmare as quickly as possible.

I worked my way back and finally found their munitions dump … and nearly lost my lunch at the same time. God must have been with me because there was no time to think, no time to ready myself, plan … nothing.

Thor, Chuckri, and Barkley had obviously been in a brawl and were surrounding by fairly self important looking men. They were about to be beheaded. My breath left my body and I got cold and then hot as a furnace. I was no longer in control of my body, no longer calling the shots. I barely had time to set myself but it didn’t seem I needed to.

They had forced my love and the other two men into kneeling positions side by side and they had tied them up and put sacks over their heads. I couldn’t hope that they would know what was coming and lend some help. Three traditionally dressed executioners were lined up behind them. It looked like some weird tableau from a museum of ancient history.

I grabbed all the V40s out of the rucksack that my hand would hold while I was taking off. As I all but flew out into the open area I flicked my wrist in the direction of the munitions dump, not even bothering to aim. God must have had angels guiding them along. I gave a screaming yell that said nothing yet made plain my rage.

At the same moment I hit the first sword-wielding executioner the V40s went off. My momentum carried me and the first man I’d hit into the second one but it was the blasts from the exploding munitions dump that pushed me into the third executioner and the two men on the other side of him. Shrapnel exploded out and cut almost everyone that had been left standing off at the knees in a full 360 degrees. My ears rang and even my eyes hurt from the percussion but I didn’t stop. The squiggling mass under me was still moving and I was bound and determined to stop that in a very permanent way … and I did and in a way I prefer to leave between God and I.

I turned to find all three men struggling with their bindings. The first one I could reach was Barkley and he nearly broken my nose before I could convince him it was me and to let me help him. He was in the best shape and then started helping Chuckri.

I reached Thor who was barely moving though it appeared he was trying. I touched him and he jumped. “Easy Big Boy. Just me.”

He gasped and then wheezed, “Ro …. chelle?” The weakness of his voice had my heart stuttering.

“Yeah. Let me …”

He coughed behind the sack, “Go. They’ll regroup. You … you need to get out of here.”

“I’m going, and the three of you are coming with me.” I was finally able to the bag from off of his face. They’d practically strangled him with the cord that had kept it in place. One eye was completely swollen shut, his nose was obviously broken, there was blood coming from the ear on that side as well, and his face was an awful shade from the near strangulation.

He grunted and his one good eye widened. I turned and brought up my rifle and fired on the four men that had tried to come at us. There were small explosions still occurring and there was a lot of screaming and crying going on within the blast zone, there was also a significant amount of silence from some of the bodies.

“Can you two carry Thor between you?” I asked Chuckri and Barkley.

They looked like they wanted to say yes but had to honestly answer no by shaking their heads. I sighed, “OK, you’ve already grabbed weapons. If you have a plan better than this one sing out. I’ll help Thor, you two act guard … just don’t get in front of me because if I have to shoot my aim isn’t going to be as good one handed. Alfonso … alive by the way … is guarding some cover. Anyone seen Hal?”

Chuckri nodded and said, “He went down.”

Barkley asked, “What then?” He was asking what my ultimate game plan was.

“I’ve still got the rucksack. There isn’t a whole lot left in it but from the look of things there isn’t anything left in their munitions pile.” I steadied Thor, trying to ignore the fact that I knew I was hurting him. His leg was injured as well but he was still trying not to put his full weight on me. As we went into the tall grass I lowered my voice. “There is no way anyone missed that explosion. It is going to cause some confusion, for our side as well as they try and work out what has happened. I get you guys into a position you can defend and then I see if there are any heads left on the Hydra.”

They would have objected but we had to stop and duck behind a thicket of small blackjack oaks. What I observed made me smile, but not in a nice way. I was right. With the right push the enemy groups had started to fight against themselves. I hadn’t expected it to happen so quickly so there must have been some pretty significant pre-existing problems.

I would have let both groups fight it out and let the winner run away but as soon as one group had killed the ones in the other and were making their getaway I felt Thor’s hand on the one that held my rifle. It hadn’t been on safety since I left the wall so it didn’t take much push for the combined pressure of Thor’s finger and mine on the trigger to burn the escaping enemy.

I looked at him and he mumbled, “No mercy. No survivors to try another day.”

I nodded and then we continued. The line of men that I had passed through was still there but it was much thinner and less organized. The enemy’s own leaders were screaming and carrying on something terrible. They were trying to whip their men into a frenzy but I noted it was having the opposite effect. They looked more desperate than determined.

Giving Thor my rifle to hold one handed while he balanced himself with the other by leaning on me I pulled three more of the V40s out of the rucksack. We walked through the line, hidden by the commotion and the bushes and tall grasses and trees. But as we got to an open area I flicked the three little balls. The first one I threw. The second one I flicked pretty hard. The third one I tossed only far enough so that we didn’t get caught in the blast radius. They went off at different points along the line so that no one could tell where they came from. I felt a slight push from behind as the force reached out and touched us.

That was it, the line broke but not everyone turned tail and ran. What they did do was start shooting every which direction in panic and began shooting their own. The more this happened the more that began to participate in senseless “friendly fire.” We left the worst of the chaos and I finally found Alfonso after nearly panicking myself when I couldn’t locate where I’d left him.

I turned to leave and Thor tried to stop me. “No.”

“Thor,” I said suddenly near tears. “Do you think I want to go now that I’ve found you? I didn’t even know you were there! And now I’m going to have to go out there and flush some of those men this way and I don’t like it. I have to trust that despite your injuries you can do what you have to do. And what if I’m wrong?!”

Chuckri said, “You’re not.” When Thor threw a look at him he said, “You know she’s not. This is the same stunt we pulled during that ground engagement outside of Fallujah.”

Thor took the rifle that was passed to him but he didn’t look happy. “Come back soonest,” was all he said through clinched teeth. I nodded and then went out into the woods praying that God would guide my feet and put a hedge of protection around the men. The big action was over with, we’d cut down the enemy’s numbers and destroyed the resupply for their weapons during this engagement. Now we had to continuing trimming the hedges so that this didn’t turn into a true siege and give them time to regroup as Thor had warned.

No longer did I pass by the enemy. If one came within my range I did what damage I could, preferably of the permanent kind but I know that wasn’t always the case. I found the shamshir I had dropped at some point in the fighting and did as much damage with it as I had before. With my rifle I would shoot into a group and they would run in the opposite direction … and right into the men’s fire. Not all of them ran that direction but enough of them did.

The action was intense and insane. I turned to burn another few rounds and had to pull up. It was Mr. Rhodes with a group of men. They had been headed in Thor’s direction.

“Don’t go there … you wouldn’t like it.” The sounds of gunfire and screaming was heard from that direction and then silence.

Mr. Rhodes turned his head and looked at me and with a very dry voice said, “Do tell.”

I don’t know how much longer it was … how much ammo was fired, how much blood was spilled, how many men met their maker and had their Judgment … but eventually the only sound left in the woods was that of the dying.

The time after a battle ends isn’t mundane but it doesn’t take pages to write either. Richards and some medics from Olive Branch rounded up all the wounded from our side including our men. Those of us still mobile walked the woods and dispatched any enemy that still had life left. Am I proud of that? No. But it was war … and war that I felt was ultimately for the souls of men. So it wasn’t pride I felt but I felt honor … that I’d been allowed to be part of protecting innocent people from the tyranny of mad men because what else do you call people who would create and fill those stoning fields? That I was alive and able to fight another day if that was what I was called on to do. That God had blessed me by letting me be the one that had been there when Thor needed me like he had been there for me so many times.

So I decided I could live with what I had done, not because I was proud of it but because it was a duty that I had been called upon to perform. The only time my stomach got queasy was when Hal, who had taken a bad gash to the head when Chuckri had been taken and was found insensible nearly two hours after the battle passed out from blood loss, told me that the he’d heard from the Olive Branch people in their observation posts. The section of Cape Girardeau that had been the enemy’s stronghold was on fire and it looked like it might spread to the rest of the city, pushing the residents further and further west in front of the firestorm. I thought of the innocent women and children that had already suffered so much under the despotic rule of men. Then I thought of the story of God’s commandment to Joshua regarding Canaan. I wasn’t Joshua but I believed in God’s Judgment, in the fact that He created us so He could do to us as He pleased, so maybe that was where I would have to leave it.

Hal said, “Civil war or attack by the people they’d been terrorizing … who knows? Either way they did for themselves when they decided to try and throw so much at us at the same time. Most likely underestimated the troubles coming at ‘em from behind.” His niece and nephew slept close by and I thought it was pretty significant that Markrid was paying particular attention to them … and Hal … and had her little baby’s basket nestled there as well.

As bad as our enemy had suffered we didn’t escape scot-free though it was light in comparison. One piece of ordinance came down inside the Olive Branch compound and two men were killed as a result. They lost another in the forest when he lost his head with battle fever and ran full tilt into a heavily armed group of the enemy. We were blessed that those were the only deaths but there were a lot of injuries.

I don’t know how many the Olive Branch people suffered. Just because we’d just fought a battle together hadn’t suddenly opened their borders to us, I do know that they had several injuries that they worried would turn into fatalities without God’s Grace. For our group Thor and Hal were the worst and of the two it was Thor that worried everyone most. Alfonso was recovering quickly though he didn’t move quickly at all.

Thor’s kidneys had been bruised and he had blood in his urine though that had started to clear up by the next morning. He also had a couple of cracked or broken ribs and significant surface bruising all over his body. The broken nose was painful as was the eye. But it was the fever that he started to develop that really was cause for concern and what kept me from being able to breathe any sigh of relief. For me, the end of this battle would be determined by Thor’s battle with the infection that seemed to be setting in to wage war in his body.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 49

Nothing was working and Thor was becoming more and more lethargic. Richards didn’t say anything but I could tell that he and Elsapet were both worried. What I didn’t know until I fussed was that Thor was allergic to all of the cillin type antibiotics and also couldn’t take tetracycline or sulfa meds. Had I had any of that stuff and had given it to him I could have killed him without meaning to. Why didn’t he tell me?

Instead I took my frustration out on Richards like a lot of people do to the health care helper. “Then why don’t you try other stuff?” I asked him.

“That’s it Rocky, that’s all we have and it’s stuff that will hurt him worse than the infection will,” Richards said.

“Not pills!” I yelled.

Elsapet tried to calm me, “Rocky, you are tired, you have not slept since the battle. You …”

“Yeah … me … I mean like me …” I stopped frustrated that my frustration was making me sound just north of crazy. I took a deep breath. “Look, when I was little my body kept changing so fast that it either didn’t recognize the amount of any medicine they gave me or I reacted badly to it. And I was sick a lot when I was little …”

I heard Alfonso mutter sotto voice, “You were little?”

I turned and he knew he’d stepped just a little too far over the line. “Yes I was little … maybe not what you think of as little but I was smaller. I didn’t pop out the size of the flaming Jolly Green Giant,” I snapped. I turned back towards Richards. “The doctors didn’t know what to do for me. I’d get sick, because I was ‘special’ they’d put me in the hospital, they’d pump me full of medication that might or might not work and sometimes I got well, sometimes I got worse, and sometimes they’d send me home still sick expecting me to die. My mother and grandmothers started ignoring most of the doctors except for a couple of them, one of the researchers, and this old army nurse because they treated us GWBs like real people instead of test subjects and guinea pigs, things to be studied. After all, if the ones in charge of my treatment plan were just going to send me home to suffer or die then there was nothing to lose. Actually what my family did for me, in the long run wound up helping some of the other GWBs too.”

“Rocky, I’m still not understanding,” Elsapet said but Richards had a suddenly intent look on his face.

“OK Kid, you tell me, what backwoods folk remedies are we talking here?”

“Well don’t make it sound like I’m about to tell you to carry a buckeye in your pocket to ward off rheumatism. I’m talking about real medicinals. Garlic, goldenseal, Oregon grape, black walnut, plantain, barberry – that’s internal stuff. External stuff for infections is tea tree oil, lemon, lavender, chamomile, thyme, myrrh, cloves – but some of that stuff can be strong so it has to be diluted.”

“Rocky … Kid … I don’t have any of that stuff and I don’t think there is a working herbalist around here.”

I turned away frustrated then was struck by something I remembered and turned back. I bent down and not knowing whether he could hear me or not said, “Thor, I’m not running away or leaving you. I have to go do something but I’ll be back. I promise. Just hold on.”

I grabbed my back and dug out some Ziploc bags I had in there.

“Rocky?” It was Pilbos and Grandmother Chuckri was with him.

“What?”

“Grandmother says that if you can find what you are looking for she’ll have a pot of water boiling when you get back.

I stopped, looked at him in gratitude and asked Pilbos, “How do you say thank you in Armenian. I want to tell her.”

“You already did. She understands English; she just doesn’t speak it very well because she’s missing half her dentures.”

I nodded to them both and then took off at a jog. It seems that God had a purpose for making me belly crawl to the tree line. There’s nothing like getting up close and personal to the ground with your nose. I remember smelling the distinct odor of garlic … wild garlic. Now I just needed to find it again.

Thirty minutes passed before I was able to find a patch of it. I’m sure people must have thought I was crazy sniffing around the ground like a blood hound but the smell from the battle kept wafting in my way. When I did find it I fell on it like I’d found gold and carefully dug up what turned out to be a good sized patch. It wasn’t in prime condition … wild garlic is best picked in the summer and fall … but it wasn’t too dry either.

As I was coming back in I was met by a couple of women from Olive Branch. The older of the two said, “My man said you were out here foraging for something.”

“Yes ma’am but I need to …”

“Lands, is that … is that wild garlic?” she asked cutting me off when she saw what I had.

“Yes ma’am but I need to …”

“Is there more of it?”

“Yes ma’am, but please I need to …”

“Well, then don’t just stand there lollygagging girl, go do what you need to but I want to talk to you when you’re finished.”

Oh brother, she reminded me of one of the ladies at church that used to hold you talking your ear off, never letting you get a word in edgewise and then fussed when you were late getting somewhere like it was your fault she’d held you up. I ran inside and with the help of the Chuckri women we had the garlic washed and simmering for broth.

I explained to Richards while other people listened. “Everybody knows you can’t eat solids with a fever so the broth will be perfect. If he can drink this down – and I’ll feed it to him through a straw if I have to – then with the next batch I should have some wild greens to cook with the garlic. Greens and garlic makes some of the best broth for people who are sick and need to build their system back up. It has antiseptic properties that give a similar result to antibiotics only with less immediate results. And I know where to look for the goldenseal since I’m pretty sure that Oregon Grape doesn’t grow around here.”

After I fed a reluctant Thor a cup of the broth and made sure he got down more water as well I left to go “hunting” again. Foraging takes a lot of work and time. At home I already knew where different types of wild foods and medicinals were to be found - the women in my family had been cultivating some of those plots for over a century – but Illinois might as well have been the moon for all I knew about it. On the other hand I did know the normal type of habitats of the plants I was looking for.

As I left the gate that was in the process of being repaired - Uncle Bedros, Ludvig, and Tovmas were helping with that task – I was again followed by the two women from before only two others had joined them. One of the newcomers asked, “What are you looking for?”

I was close to getting upset but tried to be polite and said, “Goldenseal.”

“I saw some over behind the compound. Come on and I’ll show you.”

I was flabbergasted. She looked at my face and then laughed. “I used to be really into the all natural food plan … real paleo woman going the all hunter gatherer route. I haven’t had as much time for it the last couple of months but that doesn’t mean I’ve lost the habit. What else do you need? I’ve got some dried calendula, chamomile, lavender … I’m assuming it is for your man?”

“Yes!” and then she and I started talking with the other three women watching what we gathered, how, and then asking what it was good for.

The goldenseal was a little trampled but since it was the rhizome I was after that didn’t matter too much. I only took a little because it was kind of an endangered plant plus I knew that my mother had a patch of it marked off in the woods at home.

I traded the fresh rhizomes to the woman whose name was … and I cannot believe that her parents would have cursed her like this … Stormy Day. “If you think that’s bad then you’ll cry for me when you find out my middle name is Wendy.” She smiled and I couldn’t help but laugh a little with her rather than at her.

It took two days … two days of combined efforts of the garlic and goldenseal as the primary antiseptics plus whatever else I could … quite literally … dig up. I also wound up giving him some blackberry tea when the effects of the fever and some of the other remedies turned his guts to water.

“No … more.” I’m sure he felt like he was sloshing around with all the broth and teas I was all but force feeding to him.

“Thor, I know you are hurting. I know you don’t like feeling out of control of the situation. I know lots of things because I’d feel the exact same way in your shoes and have felt the exact same way as you are feeling and it really bites boogers. But if you don’t drink this broth right now I will sit on you, hold your nose until you are forced to open your mouth to breathe and then pour it down your throat with a funnel.”

Richards who was standing nearby said, “Uh, Rocky, not the best idea to threaten a man who will get better and may one day have you at his mercy.”

“Fine. If that’s the price then I’ll pay it and willingly. It’s not like he gave me a lot of choice when I had that fever before.”

Thor grumbled tiredly, “So this is pay back?”

“No you thick headed Neanderthal. This is me loving you enough to do what is going to keep you in this world, get you back on your feet soonest, so that you can then turn around and pitch your fit or whatever it is you want to do to exact your revenge on me. So too bad. I want you to live and get better and until your big bad self is able to get up and chase me around you are stuck with it.”

A tired snort and chuckle short circuited my righteous indignation. “OK, just wanted to clarify.” Thor was tired and still far from well but he was still Thor and I nearly broke down in tears of relief. That isn’t to say I didn’t have to do everything, up to and including bribery and trickery, to get him to … er … take his medicine.

And I was exhausted and cranky and didn’t always do the best I could have not to take it out on the people around me. I began to be able to manage a few hours of sleep here and there. It was eight days after the battle and we told the Olive Branch thank you for their hospitality and we did a final clean up of the area that we had been staying in.

Abe Rhodes said, “Personally I hate to see ya go. But … I can see where having your own plot of land is a thing to be envied.” He looked melancholy for a moment. “Missing mine and don’t know … well, hopefully this winter will calm things down a might and then I’ll see come spring. Springs a good time for new beginnings anyway.”

Thor was still too weak to ride. The fever and infection seemed to have eaten him hollow. But I couldn’t see him riding in the elder wagon either. The man’s pride was already pinching so I tried to help him thereby helping us at the same time.

As soon as I knew Thor was going to be OK I joined a salvage team that was going back into Cape Girardeau. I actually found everything I needed in one place. It seems that while our enemies may very well have been our enemies some of them were extremely clever and mechanically inclined. They had turned a car and RV lot into a chop shop and were converting truck beds into horse drawn trailers.

No completed rigs remained. I assume that the survivors of the great fire or even other people from the city must have already salvaged them had they existed; but, there were parts. It took me three trips but I managed to bring everything back to Olive Branch that I needed to make a redneck trailer. Lucky for me since I was limited in time and expertise the front part … the horse drawing part … of a couple of models were already together. I took one and the Olive Branch compound took the rest. Then they had truck bed trailers already fabricated and I picked a light weight one with tires that were still in pretty good shape. I also took some cans of tire fix, a jack, and a spare.

The problem was anyway I looked at it, trying to refabricate the wagon so that it would could be bolted to the front half – the horse drawing half – was going to take a lot of work. Thor saved the day on that one.

“Hon, you’re making this too hard and too much work. Were there any fifth wheel attachments at that place you found the rest of this?”

“Fifth wheel … oh, you mean a hitch jaw? The thing a fifth wheel is attached to in the back of a pick up?”

“Yeah.”

“The place had all the stuff in the back. There might be one in stock.”

“OK, if you can find one make it one of the lightest they have, some of those things are heavy. You’ll need the bolts for it to bolt it down with … and … let’s see … you’ll need a heavy duty metal punch and a good sledge hammer. Since we don’t have a metal drill we’ll have to punch through there,” he pointed to the location he wanted it. “And then set the hitch and bolt it down. Then you’ll be able to attach the trailer …”

“Oh wait, I see it. Sort of like a tractor trailer set up. That’ll give me a smaller turn circumference too that should help on any switch backs.”

“Switch backs?”

“Yeah. We need to sit down and go over our route options. I really, really wanted to take the AT to get home and bypass as much civilization as we can but I’m not sure what shape it will be in and I don’t want to give up the horses.”

He nodded. “We’ll worry about that when we get closer.”

“But …”

“Rochelle, let’s just get out of here and through Cairo first.”

And that reminded me that we weren’t much closer to our destination than we had been nearly two weeks ago. Pretty depressing. And at this rate cool weather would be setting in before we reached Fairview and it would be plain awful before we would reach my home … our home … the home I intended on sharing with Thor forever and ever.

“Stop worrying it to death Hon. I know you want to get home but we can only go so fast.”

I dropped to my knees beside him where he sat on a blanket soaking up some Vitamin D. “It’s not so much that I’m anxious … OK, maybe a little bit but that’s because I want to know what we have to work with … as I am to show you our home and get things weatherized before cold temps set in. The kind of travelling we are doing will be miserable in winter, if doable at all.”

“Our home?” He emphasized the word our in a funny way that made me take notice.

“Yeah,” I said quietly looking at him. “You said … you said that … Thor? Are you … um … having second thoughts or something?”

He chuckled and shook his head. “No Hon.”

“Then … do you not want to live on the farm together?” I asked still confused.

“Rochelle you said ‘our home’ like … like … I’m not sure what to call it.”

“Oh.” I said still a little confused then a light bulb went on. “Oh! This is one of those guy things. OK, how’s this. I was the only child … and a girl child at that … of the only son that inherited the family farm and land. I never was much of a city girl … you can imagine how well I would fit it … and had never really thought to live any place else except my parents were going to make me go someplace for college to ‘experience the world and make sure what I wanted.’”

“Sounds like a quote.”

“Yeah, and a few fights we had about it too. I had a couple of online universities that I preferred but Dad and Mom … I guess it doesn’t matter now. But either way I had always meant to live on the land and farm even if it was just a subsistence kind of life.”

He said, “Rochelle I already said I’d follow you to your home.”

“Not my home goof, our home … ours … together. See I’m not the first generation where there was only a girl to inherit. It hasn’t happened since the War Between the States when a Charbonneau married into the family but it had happened a couple of times before that. The farm was like … I don’t know … the daughter’s dowry. You understand what I’m trying to say? It’s what she brought to the marriage to make her a desirable partner.”

“Hey you … you’re a desirable partner even without a plot of land.”

I smiled and kissed him and wondered just how surprised he was going to be when he found out that the farm only made up a portion of the family land. We had a bunch of woods that backed right up to the national forest and ran from the top of the peak all the way down to where the Division of Forestry had their land. Most of the high ground wasn’t farmable though we did harvest things from it, but it was the eighty acre farm area that was our bread and butter. The farm land had originally covered more of our acreage but times and necessity had shrunk the cultivated area quite a bit.

“Glad you think so,” I told him. “But do you see? I never meant for the farm to be mine. I always had a dream of someday finding … I mean, I don’t know if I ever really believed that I would find someone … but it was a secret dream that one day the farm and land would be an ‘ours’ kind of place. I mean … are you OK with that?”

“You are honestly trying to turn me of all people into some kind of gentleman farmer?” He was playing with me and I knew it would all turn out OK.

“Who said anything about being a gentleman? If you don’t stop that foul mouth you’ll make the cows blush.”

“Blushing cows. That tempts me just enough that I’ve definitely got to see this place now.”

And that’s all how come the day to leave Thor was riding in semi comfort, even if not particularly happy with it, in a fifth wheel wagon while I drove it with my horse and Thor’s tied to the back. I had tried to pull the wagon tandem with both of them but Thor’s horse completely objected and there wasn’t time to train him to pull.

We had said our goodbyes the previous night in a bit of a hoe down party atmosphere arranged by Mr. Rhodes so it was a very quiet departure with few attending. Mr. Rhodes did show up to wave us off and I wondered if we would ever see or hear from him again. Uncle Bedros had taken a liking to him and had given him directions should he ever get out that way and Mr. Rhodes got a look in his eye like maybe he had a wandering itch that he wanted to scratch someday soon.

It was strange to be on the road again. We weren’t going far, not even fourteen miles; just to Cairo Junction but when we got there and found that the place had been all but razed to the ground in a fire that looked like it had happened the same time as the Cape Girardeau one had we were forced to keep going .

The next town was Future City and it, if anything, was worse that Cairo Junction but it was when we came to Cairo proper that we began to worry. The kind of firestorm that occurred to have done so much damage, including melting and twisted the road bed, had to have been huge. The damage in Cairo looked like it had been before the Cape Girardeau blaze, maybe months before. Cairo was like a ghost town on Mars … eerie, monochrome, and air so still you couldn’t think because it was too quiet.

Hal kept looking around, “I … I don’t understand. They kept saying that their leadership was here … in Cairo. That they had hundreds of followers spreading out from here conquering the new American wasteland. Our people … they swore they saw thousands of people over here. Guns, bombs, that there was no way we could win if we fought them. If … if I had known … I would have taken the kids weeks … months ago … I …”

Surprisingly it was Vika that answered him. “People lie Mr. Hal. People lie. Even people you are supposed to be able to trust, that are supposed to care about you. They fool you and … and sometimes you do things just because they said so and then … you don’t know how you ever could listen to them in the first place.”

Poor Vika. Barely nine and already sounding like someone that had seen a lifetime of pain; grown before she had any business being that way.

It was getting later and I saw that Thor was getting tense on top of tired. And all of the animals were getting tired and snappish. Everyone was beginning to get stressed out. There was no place to stop, no fresh water beyond what we had in the barrels, no grass for the animals. It was a barren wasteland of twisted melted, fallen concrete, and broken glass.

Barkley said to me, “Don’t feel so bad Kid. Cairo has been going this way since I was a kid. It’s an old town that wasn’t kept up. The state politics all but destroyed Chicago and they tried to take the rest of the state with them. There’s sections here untouched by the fire but you wouldn’t know it because they were already in such bad shape to begin with. A shame about some of them old Victorians that had been kept up though … and the Custom House too.”

But when we got to the bridge, the only one that crosses the Ohio River at this place, that I knew we wouldn’t be leaving the area on that day.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 50

It was a disappointing end to a long day but we had no choice. Barkley suggested trying to overnight at the Fort Defiance park. While we looked around trying to figure out the best defensive location to set up Barkley said, “This used to be a pretty state park and then it was transferred to the city of Cairo. You can guess what happened to it then. And the floods that came through afterwards just finished the demise of the place. Hopefully these bushes will hide any fire we make but I hope the women can finish up and get them out quickly. Being right here on the peninsula, a light would be as good as a beacon and bring attention, something we don’t need on top of everything else.”

As I unpacked and set up camp I resentfully looked in the direction of the object that had brought us to another standstill. Lately it seemed for every step forward we took, somewhere we were sure to slide back a few more. The bridge wasn’t destroyed though I guess for some it would sure seem to be just as out of reach. It was still there, and in fairly good condition I suppose as such things went, but it was wall to wall, end to end cars and trucks. The only traffic the bridge had seen since the EMP had shut everything down was foot traffic. From the looks of things it would have been easier to walk on the cars than around them. And from what little we could see in the rapidly fading light a large number of people had been fleeing Illinois for some reason; all lanes on the bridge were outbound traffic from Cairo, none at all coming in.

Even with very few major pile ups on the spans there was no way to clear a lane in a single day, it just wasn’t happening. There was some debate about whether to head out to the next closet bridge but since there was no guarantee that we’d find anything different there, and it would require more time to re-route, we decided to give it a try at this location first. It couldn’t have happened at a less convenient time for us as a group; we were down a significant amount of manpower even with Hal being added to our number.

We slept that night despite the bug population making its best attempt yet to keep us from it. The kids were really cranky at breakfast the next day which eventually made most of the women grouchy. It was with no small amount of relief that I personally got to escape and go work on moving cars. I’ll be honest, I have always liked kids but I’m no saint and some of them were twanging my last nerve. Had I been forced to stay and “help the women” I would have probably wound up scaring the kids just to get them to knock it off.

On the other hand I had my own unfair share of crankiness to deal with. Montgomery and Thor insisted on coming to “help” those of us that were trying to clear the cars and, as my grandmother would have said, it gave me the palpitations. It didn’t take me long though to get so busy I ignored them being under foot … because they weren’t under my feet. Bless Uncle Bedros for knowing how to handle them without hurting their pride.

We pretty much developed our strategy as we went because any kind of organization had to be changed as we ran into unique problem after unique problem. Right from the beginning it was easier for Pilbos and I to team up by ourselves. We had the same reach and spoke the same language as far as strategy went and the strength of one didn’t overshadow the strength of the other. The primary advantage I had was all of the practice from months earlier but Pilbos caught on quickly.

At first I was concerned about dumping all of those cars into the Mississippi, thinking about all the problems we could be causing farmers up and down the river. However as we checked, all of the fluids had already been drained from most of them, I supposed to fuel the few motorized vehicles and equipment that remained. Either way, if we didn’t have to dump them, we didn’t.

“Oh man!” I said, suddenly remembering.

“What?” Pilbos asked, concerned that something was wrong.

“Sorry. Just thinking that I hope all that wood Dad and I cut and split in the spring to season is still there. Our chainsaws are gas operated. We heat with wood and I can tell you there wasn’t enough for that. We had a couple of trees that were growing too close to the road and we had girdled them … but … but we didn’t get around to them.” I stopped to give my chest time to stop hurting from the memories. “If I have to start cooking with it too … ugh … I don’t wanna have to go back to doing everything by hand,” I sighed. “Honestly, wood for the smokehouse, wood for the cook stove, wood for heating, wood for wash water, wood for … Well, I’m just not going to like it at all.”

“Yeah, you ain’t kidding,” he grunted as we lifted a car so we could unhook it from the bumper of another. “Lud and Uncle Bedros are trying to figure out how to fabricate a plow. Who could actually fit behind the wheel of one of these stupid little mini coopers?”

“Oh, that should be pretty easy … relatively speaking.”

“What? You could fit in one of these?!” he laughed.

“Not the car you knot head, fabricating a plow,” I told him in exasperation.

“Oh really?” he asked sarcastically.

“Sure. Talk to Alfonso about a steam powdered tractor,” I said shrugging.

He looked at me and a smile split his face. “Hang on a sec.” He ran off, said something to his uncle and then jogged back. “You sure you and Thor don’t want to hang with us?”

Since Pilbos and I had discussed this several times before I treated his question as a rhetorical one and we got back to work. We were clearing two lanes on one span to give us plenty of room to maneuver wagons, animals, and people across the bridge safely. Pilbos and I were working the outside lane because sometimes there just wasn’t any choice but to send a car over the side. It was like trying to undo a jigsaw puzzle forced together the wrong way. One of the few bright spots was that traffic had been so thick that major pile ups were rare; it was more thick than truly snarled.

Our preferred method of clearing the lane was to put the vehicle in neutral and simply pull it backwards off the bridge and then leave it for a group of the younger teens to put it into a makeshift parking lot we were creating. There the women and children would go over them with a fine tooth comb and salvage anything practical for our purpose. There wasn’t much but every little bit helped and that night around the fire Alfonso outlined an idea that was met with universal approval.

Alfonso was one of those naturally mechanically inclined individuals. When he was younger he and his friends were the type of mech geeks that spent their spare time building full sized catapults, jet propelled dragsters, and flame throwing robots. In other words, so nerdy they were cool when what they built actually worked and the VFD didn’t get called out on them. His idea, after seeing how vulnerable the animals and the younger children were that took care of them, was to build weapons that the children could handle with practice.

I enjoyed bow hunting with my dad. I had always used a man’s bow and at first doubted Alfonso’s idea but when he demonstration a mock up of the cross bow he designed from some of the leaf springs from the smaller cars I became more convinced, and I wasn’t the only one. The next day Alfonso spent the day dismantling some of the cars for parts.

It took four days to clear the bridge and the on ramps on both sides enough that we could maneuver across safely. Well, actually it took three and a half but Uncle Bedros convinced everyone that some time for rest and meditation was necessary and I can tell you Pilbos and I weren’t exactly complaining about a little rest. Uncle B wanted another full day but with all of the delays we had experienced we simply could not afford it. Thor was particularly cranky and I had a hard time not being cranky right back at him.

You know, Mom had warned me time and again that men just aren’t built to withstand being ill the way women are. They really don’t tolerate it at all. Women have their monthlies that teach them all about that sort of thing early on. Then we are the ones that get to have the babies and from what Mom told me that is quite a few months of discomfort that takes one form or another; let’s not even talk about birth and all the stuff that comes after it. I mean, if there wasn’t all that emotional stuff to balance it I can tell you most women would just say no thank you, uh uh. And then when women are through with their monthlies they go through menopause and that seems to me to be an unnecessary curse on top of a curse. One of the ladies at our church said that it happens when it happens so that we were tested and tried and come out the other side strong enough to put up with our men when they go through the joys of retirement ‘cause otherwise there might just be a lot of death and mayhem.

Either way, all I can say for sure is that Thor may have been good at a lot of stuff but being sick wasn’t one of them. By the time we were getting on the road he was getting better but he was so heck bent on proving he was getting better than he did himself more harm than good. Didn’t make much sense to me though I wasn’t going to complain about it too much as I thought that might come real close to the pot calling the kettle black.

We didn’t go far that day, stopping as soon as we found a place to camp in Wickliffe, Kentucky. There was a very small contingent of people outside of the town and they couldn’t believe that we’d come across the bridge. That night I just had to shake my head over it.

“Thor, you’d think that someone living this close would have gotten up the gumption to do what we did months ago. I just don’t get it.”

Thor, who seemed to be a little better mood … maybe because I wasn’t too tired for some cuddle time … said, “Hon, it takes all kinds to make the world go round, but it takes leadership to get it spinning in the right direction. If all the leadership left or was killed off in this area then all you are going to have is a bunch of sheep waiting for someone to tell them what to do.”

“But how have they lived this long then? No one that I’ve met yet has had it easy.”

He shrugged. “Luck? Instinct? Maybe a little bit of criminal element thrown in there? Who knows? Think of it like the story of the ant and the grasshopper. The ant was a forward thinker, the grasshopper could only live in the here and now. Come winter, a lot of groups like this who have been living off salvage or waiting around for someone to fix things so their lives can get back to normal are going to be in for a real surprise.”

I sighed, “And not a very nice one either.” I just couldn’t believe how blind the average human seemed to be. “I just don’t get it. I got over my adjustment reaction weeks … months … ago. I mean I still go through them but I’m a heck of a lot further down that stream of consciousness than a lot of people seem to be. I don’t consider myself necessarily any stronger than the average person is capable of being. Seriously, don’t laugh,” I told Thor as he made a rather rude snort. “I’ve given this some thought over the years.”

“Yeah, you’re ancient all right.”

“Don’t go there Thor. You know it’ll just give you indigestion. Besides, I’m serious. I have thought about it. None of us GWBs were the same physically. I’ve already told you that. Well, not all of us were the same economically, spiritually, worldview … anything … we were just all different the same as the rest of the population. Being a GWB did affect us and affect our outlook but it didn’t exempt us from the influences in our families and the world, the same as normal kids.”

“You are normal.”

I sighed, “I know, but I’m no surer exactly what kind of normal I am than other people were … are. Maybe I am nothing more than the exception that proves the rule. Anyway … stop distracting me. And button your shirt.”

“But it’s hot,” he mock complained.

“Thor, will you for once just let me be serious about this instead of trying to tease me out of a depression I’m not in? I accepted what I was a long time ago … I wish you would accept that and not feel like you have to defend me all the time.”

Thor sat up, still not as strong as he normally was but with the bruising only making his body look even more defined and I said a quick prayer that God would give me some kind of answer soon or I was really worried that I would fall to a temptation that might lead to trouble for both of us down the road. “Rochelle … Hon … asking me not to protect you is like asking me to stop breathing. However, I suppose … if you trust me enough to talk to me about this then …”

I could see he was struggling to find the right words. “Tell you what … you want to protect me from other people you go right on ahead so long as I get to do it for you too. But you don’t need to protect me from myself. I got over that problem about the time my dad threatened to take football away from me if I couldn’t stand up to peer pressure. But I need someone to talk to and I want it to be you. And to be able to talk to you about personal stuff I have to be honest about who … and what … I am. You don’t need to protect me from the truth because that is what is supposed to set you free.”

He nodded and I figured that was as close to an answer as I was going to get so I continued on as I had before.

“So look, being a GWB doesn’t make me special. It makes me different from the norm but it’s not like some get out of jail free card on the game board of life.”

“Aren’t you mixing your metaphors?” Thor asked with a twinkle.

I rolled my eyes and said, “Maybe. But that doesn’t change it from being a fact. As much as the GWB affected me, it didn’t make me what I am today … didn’t make me who I am today … because at some point I chose not to let it define me. It is part of the big picture but it isn’t everything. I’m my parents’ daughter and always will be even though they aren’t … aren’t around anymore. I’m the girl that beat the odds and went to the championships with some podunk little team from the backside of nowhere. Part of me will always be that little girl that went down the aisle at the tent revival with my daddy holding my hand ready to tell the world that I wanted Jesus in my heart forever. And now, I’m … I’m Thor’s woman I guess.”

“No guessing. You are.”

I smiled a little bit at how fierce about it he was. “OK, it appears we both agree on that.” I bent over and brushed the tangle of hair out of his eyes; he was needing another trim. Then I sat back and said, “If we’ve established that mostly I am what I’ve chosen to be then how come other people … or at least more people than what I’ve seen … haven’t chosen to be … I don’t know … less … less grasshoppery.”

Thor laughed out loud. “Grasshoppery?”

“Shhhh. You’re gonna have people lookin’.”

“Then let ‘em. We aren’t doing anything but talking. Besides, I like that word.” He laid back down and threaded his fingers together behind his head. “Something Bedros said might be the answer to your question.”

“Uncle Bedros again?”

“Yeah. Something tells me that man is trying to work on this heathen.”

“Well then I hope you let him.”

Suddenly serious Thor asks, “Trying to change me?”

“Not particularly. I love you the way you are. I just wish …”

“Wish what?” he asked warily.

“I want for you the kind of … peace … about things that I have. I love you enough to want that for you with all my heart. But it isn’t something that can be forced on a person. I just don’t know if I’ve got what it takes to … to show you … I don’t know …” I stopped, worried that I was going to send him running in the opposite direction.

With his elbow he patted my ball of stuff that I used as a pillow. “Lay down, you’re tired the same as everyone else. Let me tell you what Bedros said.”

I laid down thinking he had simply chosen to ignore what I had said. When I eased back down he said, “Tomorrow you need to help me get the last of that tape off. I’ll probably scream like a little girl when you tear my chest hair out but I can’t stand the itching no more. If I had wanted a wax job I would have …” He stopped abruptly which made me suspicious.

“Would have what? And why on earth would you get a … a wax job? I know some athletes get them for aerodynamics but … uh … exactly where …”

“Never … mind. And don’t go bringing it up again ‘cause it isn’t something you need to hear about. And no, don’t go asking the guys either because that particular bit of foolishness happened one time when I was on leave … and if you do … I’ll …”

I started to laugh. He growled a bit and asked, “You want to hear what Bedros said or not?” All I could do was nod because I was in the middle of trying to choke off the pictures in my head.

“Humph. Anyway Bedros said that … well … that God plants … I guess seeds would be what he called them … in people. Sometimes he does it directly and sometimes he does it through other people. But it can go two ways. Either the person can pay some attention to the seed and let it grow … whether doing it themselves or letting other people help them along … or … or they choose not to pay attention to the seed and … and it … well, it never gets a chance to do whatever it is supposed to do.”

He had my attention hard by that point.

“It seems to me it would be the same thing as far as personal responsibility goes … and that’s all we are really talking about here. You don’t have to be a leader to be personally responsible for your actions, to think ahead, to … to plan ahead and actually do something about it. There’s a seed in all people, to take personal responsibility for themselves and those people in their care,” and here he turned over slowly so not to bang his ribs around before sliding his hand down my arm. “Seems most people … they just ignore that seed, let it die, because it is too much like work to cultivate it and get the real rewards in life that it offers. We’re … just not that kind of people. We chose … for whatever reason … to hold onto that piece of our humanity rather than turning into some ruddy sheep.”

I couldn’t disagree with him. “Sure hasn’t made my life particularly easier.”

“I think that’s the point. Easy makes you weak. Weak makes you sloppy. Sloppy eventually makes you stupid. And sooner or later stupid gets you dead. As for me,” he said with a wicked twinkle. “Sure, life is hard, but I’ve recently found that I’ve rediscovered how much fun it can be too. So I intend on hanging around a good while longer … to … enjoy … it.” Each of his last four words were punctuated with a kiss. “Now get some sleep.”

“Sleep?!” And the dirty rat just rolled over and was snoring in under a minute. I didn’t know whether to beat him with a pillow or laugh myself sick at God’s sense of humor. Dad always said it took the hottest fire to make the strongest sword but I swear sometimes I felt like I was being pounded into putty.

The next morning Thor didn’t scream like a little girl as he’d joked but he did squeak a few times as I snatched the tape off of him. Richards made himself scarce for the first part of the day. Wasn’t really the poor guy’s fault. He’d tried to save all of his skin-friendly surgical type tape and gauze for open wounds and had been forced to use … um … some ingenuity when taping up other types of things. Thor wasn’t the only one with funny bare patches where hair should have been growing.

We left Wickliffe and headed south to Bardwell and then a little further still to this place called Arlington, Kentucky. Or at least it was supposed to be a town. There was a sign outside of the city limits that claimed a population of 395 people, but there were no souls left in that little crossroads. There was nothing left in that little crossroads. To this day I’m not sure what happened to the place but it looked like it had simply been dismantled and moved, right down to the foundations. Not a scrap was left of the few things that were there to begin with.

I heard one of the kids ask, “Was it a storm? A … a tornado maybe?”

Alfonso shook his head. “No, there’d be more damage to the trees and such that are here. I’d only be speculating but … salvagers.”

“Salvagers?” someone else asked.

“There’s stuff they ain’t making more of right now. You come to a place that is empty and just sitting here going to waste? I can see some enterprising group stripping the place of anything potentially marketable and … well … if they were efficient I figure it would look something very like what we are seeing here.”

It gave me the wooly boogers to think people could just move in like locusts and pick a place so clean that there’d barely be a foundation left for archaeologists to wonder at. It gave me a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and I worried about the plans I had for the future. It took lying next to Thor for a good while that night before I could let it go enough to get to sleep.

At Arlington we turned due east towards this place called Fancy Farm. About the only thing left there was the railroad tracks and the water tower. The water tower was particularly useful as someone had set up a trough beneath one of the spigots and we decided to let the animals rest since Mayfield, the next city of any size was such a question.

“If you’ve come for the picnic you just missed it.”

You just do not startle a bunch of men with guns and the boy that had spoken dived into a clump of weeds when just about everyone with a gun in the caravan had it cocked and heading in his direction.

“Whoa will ya? Dang, a little quick on the draw ain’t ya?” the boy called from his hiding place.

Recognizing a bit of a kindred spirit in the small smart aleck I got off my horse and went towards him. “Teach you though won’t it?”

“Yeah, Gram’s said it would get me in trouble one day. Geez though … ain’t you a one. Whata you do? Go to bed in fertilizer every night?”

I laughed, “Something like that. Come on out. Now that we know you are more noise than sound it’s cool.”

“Ha ha. Too funny. Seriously though. If you come for the picnic …”

“We’re too late. Got that. What picnic?”

“You ain’t from around here are ya?”

When introductions were out of the way he went on to tell us that Fancy Farm was in the Guiness Book of World Records for having the world’s biggest picnic and that it was an annual affair over a hundred years old where a bunch of politicians got together and yacked at people. “Everything was fun … except having to listen to them people talk so much. We had it again this year … tradition and stuff … and we even had some of them politicians show up but mostly people were just exchanging information and making barters.”

Knowing the kind of kid he was likely to be I looked at Thor who winked and then asked the kid, “Actually bartering is something I was wondering if you would do?”

“Well, ain’t got much and Gram says what we’ve got we need to see us through,” he said, disappointed.

“Oh, we aren’t after stuff.”

He looked at me suddenly suspicious. “What then?”

“Information. Seems you would be the kind that would have his ear to the ground. We are doing some traveling and was wondering if you have any info about Mayfield.”

He looked at me concerned and said, “I’ll give this away for free. You don’t want to go there. It’s full of dead people. Gram … she was a nurse … she said that there’s no telling what kind of germs are percolating in there right now. A lot of people have gone, said they were going to scavenge what they could … but they don’t come back. My dad … he went looking for … for my mom and sister who were at the highschool … he never came back. You go … you’ll never come back either.”

That somber bit of news chilled us all. I’d played the Mayfield Cardinals a few times and they were a heck of a team with lots of heart. It hurt to think of the place being little more than a mausoleum.

I choked back the pain and said, “Well, we don’t take charity. So, what’ll you take for your information since you’ve saved us some serious hurt.”

He looked at my gun and I thought he was going to ask the impossible then he up and surprised us again. “You any good with that thing?”

“I’ve had practice,” I admitted.

He seemed to debate something and then nodded. “There’s a mean ol’ boar and his sows down the west side of town. In the last two days they’ve done more damage than I thought a dumb ol’ pig could do and that doesn’t include me getting treed three times. They keep trying to get into our gardens and they’ve already destroyed two of ‘em. You blow a hole in their heads about so big we’ll call it even.”

A deal is a deal and that’s exactly what we did, saving the younger of the pigs for the locals to re-tame to have pork for next year. We also spent a pleasant evening with several of the families that remained in the area that had congregated together for protection. That was one heck of a pig roast I’ll tell you that much. And it was also good because they gave us some back roads to get us around Mayfield and off to Brewer which is where we wanted to get by the next day.

We were finally making up time. Well not making it up exactly but things were running smooth and we wanted to keep it that way. None of us wanted any of the trouble that Mayfield was supposed to offer.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 51

Passing around Mayfield was an eerie experience. There were signs all over the place warning people off but the worst was seeing the roadblocks off in the distance on the main roads and seeing the corpses on the other side of them. Whatever it was, it had been bad … bad enough that brute force and the might of the military had been used to contain it to a single location.

There was all sorts of theories talked about as we road – plague, anthrax, something definitely airborne – but I didn’t participate in it. Made me feel too much like I was dancing on the graves of those poor souls trapped by whatever it had been.

Thor, sitting up beside me on the wagon since his ribs were still a little too iffy to risk riding yet, tried to silently comfort me. Later, as we stopped at some little dot on the map called Hicksville to grab a bite to eat he said, “Don’t let it get to you so much Hon. They don’t mean any harm.”

“I don’t hold it against them,” I assured him. “I just … I don’t know … it makes me feel … feel weird … and bad … to treat it like a school project to talk about it. It feels the same way dissecting that fetal pig did. I know there was really no harm in it, but it still twanged me in a way I can’t explain. Which is double weird because I helped butcher every year … and I’ve been in battles and in bad spots these last several months. Why talking about that one town like that should bother me makes no sense and I know it.”

Thor shrugged, “It hits you funny on some days. Now eat that sandwich. You’ve been off your feed for a couple of days and that’s not like you.”

I gave him the squinty eye. “Do I look like a farm animal?” At his raised eyebrows I added, “I’m not ‘off my feed’ I just … I don’t know … nothing seems to suit me. I like sprouts and beans probably better than the average person but I’m getting burnt out on them. I ate that roast boar just fine.”

“No you didn’t. You gave me at least a third of what was put on your plate,” he said giving me the squinty eye right back.

“Don’t growl. I’ve just got a lot on my mind. I feel … anxious or something I guess.”

“We’re gonna need to talk about that. I don’t want you going around all twisted up inside.” After a few minutes he asked, “Is it me? Am I … pushing too much?”

“Huh?” Then understanding what he was getting at I told him, “No. Not pushing. I’m just … look, I’m still trying to figure things out. I … I want things … but there’s so much going on and so much we still need to do. I just don’t feel like I’m spending enough time doing what I need to do for us because I’ve committed to helping the rest of them first. And every time I think we are getting a little closer to getting them where they need to be we slide backwards just as far and that means it is going to be that much longer for me to be able to get going the direction we need me to go and …”

“Whoa,” Thor said quietly. “Slow down. Don’t think you have to do all of that thinking yourself.”

“I know that, but you have your responsibilities and …”

“My primary responsibility is to you. It always will be. I’ve been letting things go, trying to get Chuckri to take more of it on since it is going to be his responsibility anyway once we get them where they’re going but he’s slow to take it up. Between what he figures he owes me and how to handle his uncle and older brother it’s not as easy as just telling him ‘here, you do it from here on out.’ And I know we expected to be closer to our destination by now – and yes I’m a little frustrated too – but delays are to be expected. We’ll take some time tonight to talk. Would that make you feel better?”

I told him it would be but that I didn’t want to sound like a child needing comfort.

“You don’t. But you are going to have to learn to trust me a little better.”

I was surprised and told him so. “Trust? I trust you like I have no one else … ever. Not even … not even Jonathon.”

“Then trust I’m not going to bite your head off … or laugh … if something is bothering you.”

That night we stopped a little early at a place called Brewers, Kentucky. It was so small it wouldn’t even have rated a Wikipedia entry and that was saying something. But there was a small outpost of people there that catered to the travelers on 402. Uncle Bedros had melted down those silver spoons I found what felt like a life time ago by that point and used some of the resulting ingots in the trading post there.

Thor had also melted down the ones that I’d kept for us and came back with some news of the road and some fruit. After dinner as everyone settled down and headed to bed I noticed that Thor had set us up on the wagon, rather than on the ground.

“What’s up?” I asked, curious.

“Heard a couple of the locals said that it felt like rain. Figure this way even if we get a little wet, at least one side ought to stay dry.”

I laughed in appreciation and then climbed up and into the sleeping spot he’d fixed, grateful that I’d taken guard duty while during meal time and could spend the rest of the evening with him. I told him, “Hurry and shut the tent, the fewer mosquitoes I have to kill before we go to sleep the better.”

We were a little squished but neither one of us cared. “Now, about this lack of appetite …”

“Thor, I told you not to worry about it,” I told him, embarrassed that he had indeed been thinking about it.

“I’m not worrying … I’m doing something about it. Now, close your eyes and open your mouth.”

“What?!” I laughed.

“You heard me Ro-chelle. Now mind me,” he said playfully.

“Oh honestly.” But I did as he asked and he surprised me with the treat that he’d snuck by me.

“A strawberry?!” I whispered. “A real strawberry.”

“Just a pint of them Hon, that’s all the woman had left on her cart. But I got to them before Bedros did and I want you to eat every one of them.”

“Not by myself I won’t.”

“Hon …”

“Unless you are allergic you are going to eat your share.”

I saw him smiling even though it was dark. “But they’re your present.”

“So? Presents are more fun when you can share them.”

So we sat there and savored those berries while we talked of the farm and the woods and the other stuff that was worrying me.

“I wish I knew if everything is going to be there when we get there. And even if it is, I’m worried that even if there is enough for us to make it through the winter that spring is going to be awful rough.”

“We’ll have to face that when we get there. For now though, why don’t you assume that at least the buildings and woods are going to be right where you left them and take it from there.”

And that’s what we did, making a list of things that we’d need and the most likely place to find it. We didn’t stay up too long but it did do me some good to talk and I promised myself that I wouldn’t try and play Atlas and would talk to Thor more often rather than letting things build up.

The next morning started out promising enough and at least Thor and I were in a good mood but the closer we got to our destination that night the emptier the land seemed to get rather than the opposite which is what we expected. Thor and Chuckri stopped and talked to a group of travelers going the opposite direction from us and what they found out floored us all.

“About a week ago, the dam must have given way. The bridge at Aurora is still there but damaged. Everything is a real mess. Most people that have heard the news are turning away and either going north or south to find a different crossing.”

While Chuckri discussed the development with his uncle I asked Thor, “What’s the next best crossing point?”

“Nothing up river until you get passed Paducah and I really don’t want to do that. Everything is a mess for miles from what we were told but I’m taking it with a grain of salt. People can make things out to be worse than the really are without much effort. We’ll probably continue on to Aurora and see how bad the bridge is for ourselves and then make the decision. If we have to re-route I’m going to suggest going south to the Donelson Parkway and crossing there and then taking Dover Road in Tennessee around Clarksville and then back up into Kentucky again and into Hopkinsville.”

“Didn’t you say you had belongings in Clarksville?” I asked suddenly remembering.

He nodded. “Outside of Clarksville in a little spot call Oak Grove. There’s no guarantee the stuff is there. It’s on some land a friend of mine owns.” He shrugged.

“Don’t you want your stuff?”

Another shrug and he said, “Yeah, but I’ve tried not to hold onto things too hard. It’s just stuff.”

I knew he meant it but it still seemed a little strange to me. I suppose that was mostly a good way to look at things because you never really knew what was going to come in the future. For his sake though I knew it would be nice for him to have stuff that was distinctly his once we settled on the farm.

The closer we got to Aurora the more traffic we started to run into, opposite of what had been predicted by the people the previous day. I hadn’t seen anything like it … well seriously … ever. There were people, animals, wagons, and other types of carts all over the place trying to funnel into a more and more narrow area. Eventually it became primarily two narrow “lanes” – one pedestrian-only and one comprised of everything else – and I found it completely bizarre. I was looking at everything as much as I could and still deal with driving when out of the blue Thor nearly gave me a heart attack by standing up and getting on his horse from the wagon seat.

As I fought to keep my normally placid mount from standing up in his traces I growled, “Little warning next time would be nice.” Of course no one was listening because Thor and Chuckri had both taken off towards some men on horses that looked like they were dressed in some type of uniform.

I tried to keep Thor in sight but it took nearly all of my concentration to manage my unusually skittish horse. “Blast you mule, you pick the worst time to suddenly get temperamental on me. What is your problem all of a sudden?!”

Pilbos hopped out of the wagon he was in and up into ours and said, “Stop sawing at his mouth. He’s never pulled the wagon in conditions this crowded and he knows you aren’t where you normally are and he’s not liking it.”

“He’s never been like this,” I said while trying to be gentler with the reins while still letting the horse know who was in charge.

“It’s probably the noise and so many other strange horses making it worse. We’re all having more trouble than usual. Can I borrow that tow line? We’re going to be forced to put all of the animals on lead strings.”

“Sure.” And with that he was gone. And just in time too as Thor was back.

With the carefully blank face he used when he was referring to Pilbos Thor asked, “What did Pilbo Doughboy want?”

“The tow line. They’re putting all of the animals on leading strings because of the crowd. Did you find … dat burn it!!” A kid – not one of ours – had run between the wagons and nearly under my horse’s hooves. “One more kid does that and I’m going to go thermonuclear. Don’t their parents have any sense than to let them run loose in this kind of mess?!”

“Easy,” Thor said putting his hand on my arm and feeling how much I was shaking. “Hold off on the ruckus if you can. It’ll tighten up passed the check point up ahead.”

“Check point?” I asked only now noticing what looked like a bunch of people and wagons piled up along a long, tall fence.

“People out of Ft. Campbell, they were out this way assessing damage from the dam break. They’re all up and down here keeping the peace. Day before yesterday there was a riot and several people and a couple of wagons got pushed off the bridge from too many people trying to get over at a time and some knuckleheads trying to jump the line or push it along too fast. Now if anyone causes problems you lose your place in line and there are no line jumpers either. Makes everything feel like a cattle chute but it’s more organized. And the bridge is closed from dusk ‘til dawn by armed guards on both ends because they lost a lot of the railing. At the current rate it is going to take us a couple of days to get our turn to cross but we will get across which was the worry.”

I sighed, “Sounds just like all kinds of fun.” I had to swiftly avert my eyes as some guy just … er … watered the grass right out in the open for everyone to see. “Geez,” I muttered in disgust.

“Easy Hon, you’ll probably see worse before we get out of this mess.”


“Well aren’t you all kinds of comfort.”

I felt Thor looking at me. “What is really bothering you?”

It felt like a goose walked over my grave. “Sorry for being a grump. It’s … I’d honestly forgotten what it was like.”

“Forgotten what what was like?”

“All the staring. Too late to go back to being a boy I suppose,” I asked half serious.

He chuckled, “Little bit. You might pull off the ribbon in your hair but the t-shirt is a dead giveaway.”

I blushed, “Shaddup. I’m … I’m blossoming is all.”

That did make Thor laugh and when the man really let go you could hear him in the next county which only made more people look. “You’re gonna blossom right out of your shirts if you keep this up,” he finally said after he’d quieted down.

“Trust me, I’m aware of the problem. All of my button downs will no longer button where I need them to. My body fat ratio has gone up from lack of training. I’m trying to watch what I eat but I’m already so hungry all the time that …”

I got a look and then Thor said, “That’s why you haven’t been eating? You better not be dieting. There’s no sense to it. You’re working, you need to eat.”

“I know that. I’m not stupid.”

“I’m not saying …”

“Forget it. It’s a girl thing. Just … it’s … I don’t like the stares I get. Makes me feel like the Jolly Green Giant’s ugly half-sister. I don’t care exactly what they think, it’s just that the staring bothers me enough to think my own thoughts.”

“Well don’t. And next bit of salvage …”

“I’ve got stuff at home. We don’t need to weigh us down anymore with fluff. I can make do with the t-shirts I’ve got and I’ll just throw the shirts over the top of that.”

“Hon …”

“Thor don’t. I feel silly enough. Let’s just get through all of these people and then get gone.”

He gave me another look and said, “You aren’t this way with me … or the rest of the caravan that I’ve seen.”

“That’s because you’re you and I trust you. And the others I’ve gotten used to and they aren’t rude when they stare. I don’t … all of these strange eyes … it’s just too much like the old days. I’d forgotten what it was like is all.”

“OK. I’m going to ride for a while but I won’t be far. Anyone get too close …”

“I can handle it Thor,” I told him with a thin smile. “I’m not going to fall apart. But I do admit I’ll be happier to be away from here as soon as we can. Nothing good can come from having this many people crammed into this small of a space.”

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 52

“Rochelle, get some sleep.”

“I’m fine.”

“Yes you are,” he said with a leer I could barely see in the dark and despite everything I gave an unexpected giggle.

“Thor, I swear … you are such a … a guy. How can you … I’m mean in the middle of all of this … honestly …” And I gave another unwilling, bashful, yet really appreciative giggle.

Thor was possibly – no likely – the only other person besides my dad who could actually make me giggle. It looks and sounds weird when I do it so I avoid it like the plague but he managed it nearly every time he tried, and a few times he didn’t.

And what on earth had us sitting together on the wagon seat acting like a couple of loons? It was the second night of being in line to get across that blasted bridge. We couldn’t camp because if we left the line we’d lose our place. We couldn’t really even unhitch the horses because doing so would mean we were unable to move forward in case someone was pulled out of line. We couldn’t sleep because if we did someone would try to steal you blind. We learned that the hard way the first night; and some learned the hard way that we weren’t your average travelling caravan.

Thor, Pilbos, and I entertained ourselves that first night scaring anyone that came too near the wagons or animals. I know it sounds adolescent but it actually saved us some trouble. I supposed you could say the caravan walked softly but carried big sticks … and the three of us were the biggest sticks in the pile. Thor and I even managed to teach Pilbos to growl. On the other hand Chuckri gave us an irritable look and then said, “I don’t need that boy’s head to get any bigger.” Thor just laughed and said, “Then put him to work at something that makes him feel like one of the men instead of one of the boys. Have you forgotten what it was like to be that age?”

Privacy was nonexistent so when it finally got completely dark I told Thor to take the reins. He grabbed my arm as I was getting down. “Be careful. Keep your knife out. I’d come with you but ...”

“Thor, I love you, but there are some things that a girl needs a little privacy for. Besides, you are going to have your hands full controlling the horses. I’ll be back as quick as I can.”

Every tree and bush nearby was already fouled; it was disgusting and you had to watch where you put your feet. In fact I’m fairly certain most of the greenery was going to be dead by the time they could clear up the road somewhat. You just don’t dump that much nitrogen and manure on a plant … even a tree … and expect it to remain healthy; not gonna happen unless you get enough rain to dilute it significantly and then you are looking at the fun of having human waste run off into above ground water sources.

I was many yards away by the time I finally found some privacy that didn’t already reek. I was just righting my clothes and happened to bend down to grab my knife out of my boot top where I had put it to snap my pants when I was grabbed from behind and a sack dragged over my head. My Bowie made short work of the guy behind me and the little noise he made before running away bleeding like a stuck pig was drowned out by the noise of the long line waiting to cross the bridge that despite the hour was still quite loud.

I wiped my blade on the dew dampened stand of bushes before I tried to go back to the wagon looking as natural as possible. Once I got there I got into the back of the wagon and told Thor that I was going to try and rest for a few minutes. I actually fell into a sort of sleepy stupor for a couple of hours before startling awake and climbing back into the wagon seat to give Thor his turn.

The noise of the line had gone way down but was still there. “Why don’t you try and get some sleep now? Your leg has to be sore.”

“I will in a minute, just as soon as you tell me what spooked you out in the bushes.”

Crud. I was caught and knew it. “About what you would expect and exactly why you told me to keep my knife handy,” I said trying to keep my voice low.

I felt Thor stiffen up in distress. “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine. Your advice was good. Thank you.”

“Don’t give me that Rochelle, you know what I’m talking about.”

I sighed, “The guy was no match for me. It seemed like he’d had some practice but he couldn’t get any leverage to take me down. I hurt him bad. How bad I’m not sure but it was bad. He wasn’t going to get far with his leg tore up like that. And before you ask I didn’t want to drag you into it because we can’t afford to lose our place in line and I didn’t say anything to anyone else because I dealt with the threat and didn’t want to drag it into being a caravan problem … or having to watch the crew try and back me up. Better to stay low and pretend so that no one else would have to. You would have done the same thing.”

“Likely. But that’s not the point. Don’t treat me like I’m no one.”

I tried to see his face in the dark but since I couldn’t I scooted over close to him and finally loosened up his stiff arm enough to snuggle under it. “You aren’t no one, you are someone. Even more than that you are someone that I trust … and trust enough to let me handle some things. I just wanted us both to have an alibi. Under any other circumstances I would have screamed so that you could come running and save this poor damsel in distress.”

Ignoring everything else he asked, “It was enough to make you scream? Details. Now.”

Whooboy. “Thor …”

“Now Rochelle.”

I was too used to a patriarchal life to be able to ignore the command that was in his voice. “I was … er … straightening my undergarments and taking my knife out of my boot top when this guy came in behind me and threw a plastic bag over my head. I stabbed backwards and deep and twisted the blade when it was in. He turned loose and ran. No noise from either one of us and I never left my feet. It was over so quick I could almost pretend it didn’t happen.”

“You put a hurt on the guy?” Thor asked after a few minutes of dead silence that radiated some serious anger.

“Yeah. Even in the dark I could see he was bleeding pretty bad and barely able to run off. I had a hard time getting my blade clean.”

In a clipped voice he asked, “And you didn’t go after him?”

“Do I look crazy? It was dark. Too much farther away and you wouldn’t have heard me if I did get into a serious pickle. If I went after him it could be taken as something it wasn’t and I could have gotten caught by the patrols and brought trouble on all of us. Besides, all I was thinking of was to go in the opposite direction that the guy had gone.”

Another few moments where he felt like a statue and then he loosened up and gave me a bruising, one-armed hug. “I hope the little @#$%@# bled out.”

“Thor!”

“What? You want me to hope he sought medical assistance and survives to a nice old age?”

“No but geez, you don’t need to say it like that.”

“I won’t candy coat it Rochelle.”

I sighed trying really hard not to make things worse. “Thor, I don’t expect you to be anything or anyone other than who and what you are … just … for my sake if nothing else can you pick a different word?”

“Trying to change me already?”

“No,” I told him and then hugged him around his waist. “I just … look, I’m a female and it is genetically encoded that we try and civilize our men somewhat. A little Neanderthal is a good thing and keeps life interesting; too much isn’t so good. Same with machismo or whatever it’s called around the world. Just pick a different word to express that particular sentiment … please?”

I thought I’d blown it until he spoke and I could hear a small bit of cunning in his voice when he asked, “So you find my … machismo … interesting do you?”

“I find it all kinds of interesting and then some,” I told him teasing him right back. “In fact I find it too interesting and I’m going to wind up getting us both in trouble one of these days soon. So use it sparingly because it does strange things to my insides.”

“Hmmmm. Sounds like a problem we should explore more.”

I couldn’t help it, I giggled again despite my best intentions. “I swear Thor. Look, tone it back a bit. We are out in public and I’ll wind up embarrassing both of us and it just plain isn’t fair.”

“Now you know how I’ve been feeling for months. That’s some nice seat you have there and it was awful hard not to stare when you were supposed to be a young man.” After a couple of moments he said, “I think I will lay down for a while but if you see that … person … you sing out.”

“Of course. But I don’t think I will. Thor … I really did, you know, hurt him and … and …”

“Hey … you did what you had to and probably prevented someone else from getting hurt tonight even had you been able to break free without damaging … him.”

I nodded in the dark even though he couldn’t see it. “I know … just thanks for being so understanding. I’m not squeamish … I just hate when it comes to being forced to be bigger and tougher. I hope …”

“Hope what?”

“Just that when we get to the farm we can … can take a break from this type of life, have some peace. I’m just getting so tired of always having to look over my shoulder and around every corner.”

He sighed, part in understanding and part just from being tired. “We’ll do what we can but the world is a different place than it was. You talk about civilizing me and I know you were joking … or mostly … but the truth is Hon that civilization as we knew it is on vacation. Now, pay attention and don’t let me sleep too long. We should be able to cross the bridge today and if we move at the same rate we have been going it should be about mid-morning.”

I let Thor sleep until an hour before sun up at which time he went off to find his own bush. Food for our group had been a real problem until we work a kind of solar oven to heat water with and then used it to make some instant food up. Breakfast was an oatmeal like candy that didn’t require cooking but all of us where running on fumes and were anxious to get away from the bridge and make camp so that we could clean up, cook, take care of the animals, and rest.

It was closer to lunch when we made our way onto the bridge with our caravan intact. About fifty yards before that was the old metal highway sign posts and tied to these poles were … bodies. They had been hung and each corpse had a sign attached to it. The newest one said “rapist” and it was the man that had attacked me. I don’t know how he had been found, if he fit a description that had already been given, if he had tried again or just what but it was deeply disturbing to see the man I could barely recognize as my attacker hanging there with the crows pecking at him.

“Was that him?” Thor whispered while staring straight again.

I whispered back disgusted, “Yeah.”

Nothing else was said but Thor obviously wasn’t bothered by the man’s fate. I just prayed there was no more like him where he came from.

Then I got my first good look at bridge and the little bit of breakfast I’d eaten decided it was going to rethink whether it stayed where it was at.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 53

I remember what a big deal it was when they rebuilt the Kentucky Lake bridge. My dad said it was a one of a kind for Kentucky; something called a basket handle bridge. I could see why they would call it that although the basket handle seemed to be about the only thing that was relatively intact since the Kentucky Dam gave way.

I was saying such to Thor when a rider from Ft. Campbell came by. “No … er … ma’am? Uh …” I cut him some slack and kind of laughed it off though Thor looked to be on the verge of getting upset on my behalf. “Sorry ma’am,” he said with a blush that made his ears nearly as red as his hair and freckles. “The Kentucky Dam didn’t give way so much as the earthen levees on the end of the concrete portion of the dam did. The dam is supposed to be earthquake proof so the terrorists blew the levees.”

“Then why so much damage to this bridge?” Thor asked. “We’re a long way from the dam.”

“Combination of things; heavier rains than normal had water backed up for quite a ways as no more could be let out the spillways without causing more flooding. Lots of boats and debris just free floating on the lake. And then this bridge had already been attacked by a local domestic terrorist group who had a grudge against the TVA and the LBL area in particular. So when the earthen levee went … it took over six hours for the water to get passed Calvert City … it sent some heavily muddied water and debris into the pylons.”

It was my turn to ask a question. “Is it really sound enough to cross?”

“The bridge is plenty sound. All that you see is really just cosmetic, even the missing guard rails. The problem is that people don’t want to wait their turn or they try and pass slower moving wagons or carts. Then you have all of the single riders and pedestrians. We’ve had some people get pushed off and we’ve had to take these actions to ensure commerce can continue from one side to the other. We are starting a ferry for pedestrians but we have to secure a fuel source before we can implement it completely.”

“Sounds like a right mess,” I said.

“Yes ma’am. I see you are the lead wagon in your caravan. We’re going to need you to stay together and keep it tight. You’ll be moving slow but at a steady clip. When you exit the bridge at the other side you need to keep going. Unless it is an emergency there is no stopping until you get to Fenton. And we also had word this morning that Golden Pond is quarantined; some kind of dysentery is running rampant and they suspect a compromised water source is making it worse so you’ll have to detour down the Trace and then over into Dover, Tennessee.” And with that he took off to count heads so that we could get our whole group over in one batch.

I looked at Thor. “Detour?”

His brows were lowered and then he said, “Take the reins. This is going to take some discussion.”

He got on his horse and slid back to talk to Chuckri, Uncle Bedros, and Ludvig. Unfortunately he didn’t get back before we had to get on the bridge and the lanes had been narrowed to the point that a full size wagon was a tight squeeze. I understood the why of it but I hadn’t planned on being alone as I went across the bridge.

I’m no coward but being that high up over water with no guard rail was pretty intimidating. Heights don’t bother me; I’m from the Smokies for pity sake. The bridge didn’t bother me. Driving the wagon didn’t bother me as our horses were all too tired to misbehave. It wasn’t even the crowded conditions that bothered me though I wasn’t too thrilled with how close I had to drive to the oncoming traffic lane. It was all of it combined slathered over with the story of how one of my great great grandfathers fell off of a bridge when one of his appaloosa mules that he bred got spooked by a car that tooted its horn. The memories of the people where I’m from are pretty long lived and stories get handed down over and over. Heck, they still call the US civil war the “War Between the States” and make no apologies for it.

I wasn’t sweating bullets but my pits were a little damp and not just from the heat of the day. Everything had been going fine and I was beginning to feel relaxed. I had just edged beyond the main span that made up the “basket handle” section when there was a ruckus in the oncoming traffic lane. It started with an individual rider that had his horse spook; the poor thing was so sway back I’m surprised it had the energy. That horse kicked a wagon – looked like it tried to climb up into it actually – and that set those animals off not to mention all the screaming of the people in that wagon that found a horse trying to act like a lap animal.

From there it was just a plain mess; it spread into the lane I was in and the animals in front of me started bucking in their traces. Then the individual riders, instead of playing it safe tried to rush off the bridge which sent the pedestrians going in every which direction trying to avoid flying hooves and half-crazed animals. All the screaming and carrying on made the chaos even worse. All I could do was try and keep my own animal and wagon under control.

Then to make matters worse a man was trying to push through with a crying young girl struggling in his arms. She saw me and reached out. Vika. Someone was trying to use the chaos to steal one of our kids.

I stood up in the wagon, reached out and kicked the stranger in the head sending him down. I managed to lean over and grab her while holding the reins one handed, pulling her up beside me.

“Who was that? What happened?”

The girl sobbed, “I … I don’t know. Uncle Lud said to hold on and that’s what I was doing and then this guy just pulled me out and started running.”

“Take it easy. Bunch a jerks in this world right now. Look back and see if you can show them that I have you. I’ve got to keep …”

Then our wagon was rammed by another on our side that had tried to push through the line. I had some uncomplimentary things to say but just managed to keep my religion by praying hard.

“We’re on the edge!! We’re on the edge!!!”

“I know Vika. Just hold on. Here, hold onto the back of the seat and onto my belt if that makes you feel better … just don’t scream in my ear. I’ve got to be able to concentrate.” She wound up holding onto me more than the wagon seat which was fine but a little disconcerting all things considered.

By the time we got off the bridge the disaster was even worse. The military was trying to control brawls and everything else. The road was unlike anything I’d ever seen or experienced before. I heard one guy holler to his mate, “Worse than the worst traffic out in LA!”

I wouldn’t know about that, all I can say is that it was bad. More than a few guns had been pulled and used though I’m not sure how constructively. I got a bee sting on my forearm from a piece of shrapnel that flew off a wagon that had been shot accidentally on purpose.

It took hours and I don’t know who was more frantic to get out of the mess … the animals or the people. There had been several runaway teams and more than a few accidents. The Ft. Campbell people were doing their best to get things straightened out and help to the truly injured but it was also a case of some good Samaritans causing more problems than they helped to cure. Wagons were parked all willy nilly, teams were unattended which made them temptation to the unscrupulous, and more and more messes like that.

There wasn’t any place to just pull over. Even when we got passed Fenton the road was just a horrible mess. People in the west bound lanes were constantly asking questions of those of us in the east bound lane. At the intersection of the Trace and highway 80 Thor came forward.

“You OK?”

I couldn’t even afford to give him a look. “I will be. What’s the plan?”

“Don’t have any choice at this point. Head south at the intersection up ahead. The Trace will be a lot less travelled going south than going north would be.” More quietly he said, “I heard from one of the Ft. Campbell people that with the right coin we can get a camping spot and maybe some trade goods.”

I nodded but kept my eyes on the road. He asked, “Vika, you want to go back to …”

“No!” she said and grabbed me around the waist hard enough squeeze some air out of me.

I told her, “Easy. You can stay if you want but at least give Thor a message for your people. And your dad. If he keeps circling us any more even his horse is going to get dizzy. And if David hops in and out of the wagon one more time I’m going to swat him. He’s going to fall out and do damage to that hard head of his.” I saw her bite her lips out of the corner of my eye and I knew she was determined to not smile even when she wanted to.

Don’t ask me what had suddenly turned her around and I wasn’t sure I completely trusted it but she was just a little kid and little kids can flip flop in a heartbeat and mean it through and through. She eventually started nodding off but I couldn’t hold her up on the seat.

“Vika, let your Dad take you back to your wagon so you can rest. You can come back when you’ve let them make a fuss over you if you want. I just don’t want you to get hurt sliding off the seat. OK?”

She sighed, “I guess. But I can come back … you know … sometimes?”

“I don’t see why not so long as you don’t annoy Thor too much,” I told her with a wink.

“You … you aren’t like they said.”

I didn’t even bother asking her who “they” were. “People make mistakes.”

“They did it on purpose.” She said it like she knew I was trying to make something better that shouldn’t be.

“Maybe. But they’re gone and you’re not and you can’t let what they said eat you up.”

“But they said awful stuff … and I believed them and did awful stuff …”

“Vika. It’s over and done with. I don’t hold it against you and since they’re … they’re not around to do anything anymore it would be a waste of my energy to carry a grudge. I won’t forget … because it was a pretty big thing … but that doesn’t mean that I can’t forgive. You need to find some way to forgive your mom too. I don’t know why she did what she did … maybe she really believed it … but she …” I stopped long enough to wonder if I was saying too much. “Look, she reaped what she sowed. I’m sorry that you got hurt in the process. I’m sorry other people got hurt … including me. But she’s gone and it is over with. I don’t think it serves any good purpose to keep digging those bones back up.”

She gave me a funny look. “What do you mean digging the bones back up?”

I shrugged. “I consider it … over … done. So I’ve … well I’ve buried it. You know like people say ‘bury the hatchet’ and things like that? We’ll, I’ve buried it. It makes no sense for me to go digging it up to touch and feel it all over again when to get healthy I’ll just have to go back and re-bury. That’s too much work and doesn’t make any sense.”

“Oh. I … I get it … I think.”

I tried to smile even though I was concentrating on the road. “That’s just how I think of it. It helps me to see the picture of how I want it to go in my head. But that doesn’t mean that you have to think of it the same way.”

“OK.”

She finally let me call Chuckri up and she must have ridden with him for about ten minutes before she fell asleep hard. After putting her to sleep with Elsapet to watch over her Chuckri came back up to me. “What did you say to her?”

“Nothing.”

“That was a lot of talking for it to be nothing.”

I laughed, “Girls are good at that. It is one of our primary weapons at keeping guys confused.”

“Oh yeah, now that I believe. Seriously though Rocky …”

I sighed. “It really wasn’t anything. I just let her see that I wasn’t some monster by just … just being me and doing what I had to do. I’m big and solid and I guess once she’d gotten up here she didn’t want to leave. Not to mention she is probably bored out of her head riding in that wagon day in and day out. It was a change of scenery for her. Right there at the end she mentioned that I wasn’t what she had thought but I’m not going to get irritated at the poor kid over that so I hope you don’t either.”

“No … I just … she seems like she is getting better but Delia says she still has nightmares.”

“No kidding. I dreamed of that fire the other night too. Things happen in life that you have a hard time putting behind you. But I have and I hope that by seeing that I have she’ll be able to do what she needs to do.”

He gave me a lopsided grin, “You aren’t half bad Kid, you know that?”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” I laughed right back at him.

And I could laugh because the further away we got from Hwy 80 the fewer and fewer people there were on the road. That’s not to say that people weren’t parked along the road because they were. People pulled over as soon as they could find a spot. Everyone was pretty washed out and shook up from that wait in line for the bridge and then the accompanying mess. Everyone included the animals too.

It was getting late when we finally got near a road block for the Homeplace. I saw some coins change hands between our group and those manning the gates and we pulled in and were directed into a grassy area and we could hardly get the animals unhitched for the fact that they were pulling at the grass like lunatics.

And speaking of food, two boys hauled over a large pot on a stick between them. “You’ll have to return the pot … cleaned and dried … before eight o’clock or you’ll hear from Mrs. Houchins and trust me you don’t want that. Breakfast will be biscuits with busted down gravy, grits for those that want them, and depending on the chickens we might also get a boiled egg in there … half one for kids under ten. You’ll have to provide your own drink if you want anything besides water … but we check the water twice a day and boil it too so we don’t get the sicknesses here you see other places. Three more rules and then we’ll leave you in peace. Use the latrines and not the trees; that’s one of the ways we control any sickness. Discharging a fire arm without a doggone good reason might get you killed dead around here so use some commonsense. And no ruckus after nine o’clock and none before five in the morning; some of us need our beauty sleep and get cranky without it. Now these next two ain’t official rules per se but you’ll keep the staff on your side which could go a long way to making your stay more pleasant … keep control of your kids; we don’t want to have to go looking for them and there are things in these woods that could eat ‘em up and some of ‘em are of the two-legged variety. Keep control of your animals and clean up after ‘em for the same reason. ‘Nuff said, y’all have a good evening and don’t forget about that pot.”

If I hadn’t been so tired I would have laughed; it was like being home in a really good way. I had shown Joan how to make cornpone in the spider skillet when we first got on the road. I had also shown the kids how to make a thick rope of bread and wrap it around a stick and cook it that way. Both of those activities were under way while the thick vegetable soup was kept warm giving the rest of us time to finish taking care of the animals. The poor things barely had the energy to swat flies with their tales.

A man who turned out to be a blacksmith slash farrier came over and listed his prices and Uncle Bedros was happy enough to pay him after seeing him do some work on one of the horses that had picked up a stone.

I told Thor, “There’s no way he’s going to see to all the animals today and it’ll break the bank if …”

“We’ll be staying another night. The animals need to recover and we need to go over the wagons to check for damage. Bedros is trading one of the male sheep and one of the male calves that need to be weaned.”

“What?!”

“Easy. Needs to be done. They’ve got too many animals to winter over with and it will create more genetic diversity or some such for the people here. Win-win. We’ll be getting supplies too since the animals are so valuable.” He stopped and then I saw how truly tired he was.

“Thor, you’ve been riding since early this morning when you were supposed to give that leg more rest first. I know I can’t make you but at least let me set up the tent and take first watch. I’m too wired to rest anyway.”

It pointed to how tired he was that he didn’t even make an attempt at a half-hearted protest. After the dinner, which was so good I nearly scraped the spots off of my speckleware bowl, most everyone made an early night of it. When my turn finally came I was very grateful and slept the sleep of the dead until I felt Thor getting up the next morning.

“Sleep. I’ll bring you breakfast when it’s ready.”

“No though I do appreciate the thought. If I start doing something like that … well … it might not set well with the other women. I’ve got a foot in both worlds and I have to be careful.”

“Huh?” Thor asked like it was too early for philosophy.

I have him a tired grin. “I’m a girl now and I need to help with the girl stuff … but I’m also one of the crew to a certain extent and have to keep up with that as well. Makes me life complicated my foine buck.”

“That … was a terrible Irish brogue.”

“It wasn’t an Irish brogue but backwoods Scots-Irish speak. I wonder if Mr. Dink is alive.”

We were putting our puts on after making sure nothing had crawled in them during the night. “Mister who?”

“Mister Dink. He’s one of the old timers that my dad used to trade tobacco to. Mr. Dink was … different. Dad said he’d suffered some kind of accident during the Korean war and came home a changed man. He just isn’t very good in certain company but he was always good to us. Most people would have called him homeless but the reality is that his home is where ever he lays his head at night. He’s got a couple of places that are his favorite and Dad had to fetch him to the doctor a couple of times but since before I was born he’s been tramping back and forth from our place and managing to stay out of trouble with the law. I think he was some kind of friends with my grandfather and Dad just kept the friendship up after his dad died.”

“What was your grandfather like?”

“Hmm? Oh, I never knew my grandfather, he died when my dad was little. Kinda … well … wild and stuff. My great grandparents helped to raise Dad and his siblings. I remember my mom’s folks though. Granddaddy was a self-made man and had a good farm going until a couple of the big ag conglomerates made it hard on him. After that they were strictly dependent on the local restaurants and tourists who came through. Their farm adjoined my dad’s land … it’s how Mom and Dad met. Their farm got split between the siblings and my aunt and uncle sold out and moved away but Mom got the section with the terraced orchards and … hey!”

“What?”

“If we can get home before October those orchards should be full of apples. We may have to eat apples all winter but at least we won’t starve.”

“Mmmm. Apples. Sounds like a plan Hon … and now that you’ve got me hungry, let’s get the chores done and go eat.”

The biscuits, gravy, etc. were as good as dinner had been. I was at loose ends afterwards so I helped to chop wood. I got some stares but they weren’t unfriendly ones and soon enough the women and I were talking since I showed them I knew what they were talking about. We exchanged a few recipes and I got to hear some of the local gossip and then it was time for me to get back to my own group.

I had just walked up to the caravan when a little spitfire asked, “Where did you go?!”

“I was cutting wood Shorty. What did you do with your day?”

“Oh. Nothing, I was bored.”

“All this work that needs to be done and you were bored?”

“They won’t let me do nothin’. I have to stay with Grandmother or Elsapet. Markrid wouldn’t let me rock the baby either.”

“Well, don’t pout, your lip will drag the ground eventually and that wouldn’t be too attractive not to mention you’d wind up with a mouth full of dirt. Try finding something that you can do. I bet those poor ol’ dogs would love to get brushed out. And the chickens look like they could really go for some fresh grass, preferably with some bugs on it. And did you know that pigs sunburn as bad as people do? I bet the piglets in particular would like to have someone build them a little bit of shade to wallow in.”

“Really?” she asked with suspicion.

“Really what?”

“All that stuff you just said. Is it true? That pigs get sunburned and I can feed the chickens bugs and the dogs will let me brush them. That stuff.”

I held my right hand up. “If I’m lyin’ I’m dyin’. Just because people tell you there is stuff you can’t do doesn’t mean that you can’t come up with some stuff that you can do. I’m not much for sitting around being bored either. That’s why I went and hunted up some stuff to keep myself from getting under foot and being a pest. Because as a pest I’m can be a pretty big one.”

She bit her lips again to keep from laughing. “I know where David put the dogs’ brushes.”

“See there, no reason to be bored. And besides, the dogs may decide you are their new bestest friend and keep you company on the off chance you might decide to give them another brushing.”

Poor kid, she was so bored that she ran straight over to a box to grab the brush and practically tackled a dog to start brushing it. I laughed to myself wondering if the poor beastie was going to wind up with a bow on each ear.

I was walking passed a tree when I was grabbed from behind and was just able to stop myself from hurting my “assailant” when he whispered, “And why are you in such a good mood Ms. Charbonneau?”

“Thor! You goof. I’m just happy to be off that wagon seat for a while longer. And what has you in such a good mood?”

“Walk with me?”

“Of course.”

We walked for a little ways and then found a good sized rock to sit against. “We got clearance from the Ft. Campbell people. Tomorrow we’ve got a long drive to Tharpe where we have a pass to camp and then the next day will be Tharpe into Dover.”

“And they are being so nice to us why?”

“You’ve turned wicked suspicious of late,” he smiled.

“Maybe, but maybe I’ve been this way all along and you are just now noticing.”

He nodded, “Maybe. Either way you’re right. We’ll be carrying mail pouches. There’ll be some spotters along the way and the bags are going to be locked shut to make sure there isn’t any mishandling, but if it gets us a pass through the area with no trouble it is not going to be a hardship to do this one little extra thing.”

I agreed, “Sounds easy enough. What comes after Dover? I can just barely remember what this area looks like from the maps.”

“In Dover will pick up Hwy 79 and take it around Ft. Campbell and into Clarksville. Clarksville is in lockdown though it is still easy to come in go in parts of it though just not after curfew. The closer you are to the base the more checkpoints there are. We’ve been offered re-supply in Clarksville and from there we’ll go north … right by my friend’s land so I’ll check to see if my stuff is still there … and out of Oak Grove we’ll take Pembroke Rd which will take us straight into Fairvew which is a good thing because we’ll bypass Hopkinsville which word has is a mess at the moment. The State Hospital is there and they had some pretty bad cases that escaped and did some damage in the surrounding areas, gangs too if you can believe that, but the trouble stays pretty much in the city itself as the farmers have a habit of shooting first and then dumping in the rock quarry before asking questions.”

“Geez, are the Chuckri’s sure that is where they want to go?”

“How they are going to live there is their problem Hon. Our problem is getting them there. I thought you’d be happy we were so close.”

I climbed up in his lap being careful of his leg. “I am, just Mom always said to not count your chickens before they’re hatched. The closer we get the more excited I’ll get. But right now I’m more interested in paying some attention to what is right in front of me.”

Thor gave me a slow grin. “Well, I can’t fault your logic there.”

We spent a pleasurable hour before heading back to the group. I wanted to go over the wagon one more time and double check our supplies. We were getting closer but we had some long row to hoe before we could actually go onto the next phase of our journey.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 54

It didn’t take us two days to get from Model to Dover. Why on earth the military thought it would is beyond me but apparently our miles per day for traveling was well above the average. It fit the historical average but more than likely people were still learning to travel in an age without motorized assistance.

Dover itself was hit hard when Nashville began to evacuate. It is only 67 miles WNW of that big city and well within the circle that people could drive out on a tank of gas; wouldn’t even take a full tank of gas to get that far. The town had been stripped clean, disease and strife had been imported in addition to some of the homegrown stuff that was already there. Ft. Campbell personnel had been forced to move in but it wasn’t until after they had secured Clarksville that was even worse off as it was larger and closer to Nashville.

When we reached our check point the guards were so surprised that it took a while for them to believe us even with the official mail packet as proof. Thor was just this side of completely out of patience by the time we were finally allowed to enter the town and then tucked into an area near the Ft. Donelson National Cemetery. It wasn’t really near the cemetery so much as between the cemetery and Water St.

I never even talked to the Ft. Campbell people. They preferred to talk to Chuckri and Thor; I guess it was a matter of talking the same language and sharing similar experiences. The supplies they brought to us were mostly locally harvested. In addition to what we “earned” by being mules for the mail service (took up most of the wagon I was driving), we hit up the local market with our own coins. Lots of fresh foods were in the markets – apples, apricots, canning pears, beans, blackberries, beets, blueberries, cabbage, cantaloupes, celery, carrots, cucumbers, grapes, greens, nectarines, peaches, dessert pears, peppers, potatoes, raspberry, squash, sweet corn, and tomatoes.

I had a hard time not biting into one of those tomatoes just like an apple. I did notice that grains weren’t much in evidence which made me wonder how people were going to get by this winter. It also made me ache to do some preserving and fortunately – or unfortunately depending on your point of view – I was granted some time to do so when it rained for the next two days making travel impossible.

“Thor, help me stretch this tarp please,” I asked.

Thor looked twice before asking, “Why?” He wasn’t being a pain he was just curious.

I told him with a grin, “I need a place to cook under. I’ve got an idea.”

“Well, I admit that so far I’ve found myself partial to your plans but I’m still not seeing it Hon,” he told me as he got up to help tighten the tarp at an angle.

“I’m tired of worrying if there is going to be anything when we get to the farm. I’ve seen too many places salvaged over and though our farm is back in the woods and hard to find that doesn’t mean that it didn’t get found or that some other disaster hasn’t taken place. It will be September before you know it and there is no way I’m going to get a garden in the ground before cold weather hits. Better for us to start taking advantage of what we can find, when we can find it.”

Thor also helped me build the barrel cooker that I had salvaged parts for from the surrounding vacant buildings and clean up the milk crates that I had found in a warehouse down by the water. I wanted my mother’s jars really bad but I had to make do with what I had found when had stopped in different places. I sterilized the jars and lids … most of them old glass mayonnaise and spaghetti sauce jars … then started with the blueberries. I cleaned and sorted the berries, crushed the berries, then poured them in a couple of jars to within an inch and three-quarter from the top. I poured an inch of honey over the top of the berries and then coated the remainder of the inside of the jar and lid with more honey. My great grandmother had told me that she had preserved berries like that until my mom and dad got married when Mom brought her “modern” canning equipment with her as part of her dowry.

I clarified some butter to have for when we left the Chuckri family and their handy dandy and oh so convenient cattle. I set the butter near the heat to cook off all of the water. It took nearly six hours to do it this way but it wasn’t like I had anything else to do. When it finished it was amber colored and completely clear and I poured it into yet another orphan jar that I had sterilized. Clarified butter keeps for months even unrefrigerated and my mother kept some to use in the winter months when the cow would give out or the milk would be so little that it wasn’t worth the effort of turning it into butter.

I dried as much of the fruits and vegetables as I could by making drying trays I sat next to the fire. I “borrowed” the screens off of many local buildings and I sweated it, praying that the fruit would get finished in time before we had to leave. The humidity of the rain also didn’t help but it still got finished and packed away before we took off.

I wasn’t the only one taking advantage of the fresh bounty and time we were granted. The Chuckri women were going at it with a vengeance as well. We had the men fetching and scurrying to keep up with our demand for wood to keep the fires going and in making sure we had the potable water we needed.

I learned some new techniques that I wrote down in my notebook at night. Joan showed me how to make sauerkraut in jars. It freaked me out a little bit but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. She showed me how to use a similar method to preserve green beans and cucumbers. In return I showed her how my grandmothers had preserved cherry tomatoes using vinegar and oil.

Mrs. Chuckri and Grandmother Chuckri showed me how to preserve goat cheese in oil. That was fun and I had developed a taste for the stuff so it was good to know how to make it if I ever was able to get goats for the farm. When my parents kept goats it was for meat; my dad had a real fondness for BBQ goat meat.

Beets, cherry tomatoes, and gherkins we preserved in vinegar. We preserved some grape leaves in salt for stuffing later. I’d had to learn to eat stuffed grape leaves early on as that was one of Joan’s favorite dishes to make but originally I’d thought the idea pretty silly. I didn’t think it silly any more and relished the idea of being able to make stuffed grape leaves for Thor when we had our own home.

We made several different chutney batches since they required little to no sugar. And the last thing we did was preserve some of the fruit in brandy which the Chuckri clan had brought with them from their western home. Dried apricots, raspberries, and blackberries were all preserved this way.

You would think we wouldn’t be able to get all of this done in just two days but what you have to remember is that the batches were small and there were so many females and children to help do the work that it went fairly well though we were all pretty tired when we finally were able to head out.

We were guided across the bridge that crossed Lake Barkley on the other side of the Land Between the Lakes and then joined a big military caravan that pushed us all to get to a place called Woodlawn. It took a full twenty-mile day but we made it; it was exhausting but we did make it.

Woodlawn is basically a bedroom community for Clarksville even though it was really big. It nestled between Dover Road and Old Dover Road and was pretty much militarized due to its proximity to the Ft. Campbell military reservation.

“What’s the deal with all the rules?” David complained as someone came by to tell us to put out our fire.

“Relax,” Chuckri said without explanation.

“Daaaad,” David said in the tone that only a kid is capable of.

“David. Go get in your bed and go to sleep.” The finality of that tone brooked no argument though I could tell that David wanted to.

Later as Thor and I were crawling in our own bed I asked, though I wasn’t sure it was my place to, “Why couldn’t Chuckri have just told David that the rules were because we were in someone else’s playground? When you go to someone else’s house you follow their rules. Or am I missing something?”

Thor, less sore than he had been for a while, pulled me closer and said, “Chuckri can handle his kid the way he wants. We may not agree with it but it isn’t our place to get into his business. And getting in his business would be tangling ourselves up into what we are trying to break away from.”

I sighed not real satisfied with Thor’s answer. “I suppose. It just seems he is creating a problem where there doesn’t need to be one. David is getting old enough that he needs to understand the why behind being obedient and not just that he has to.”

Thor chuffed a laugh and said, “I take it you were stubborn when you were David’s age.”

I poked him in the ribs just because and then said, “No. I would obey Dad just because he was my dad and because it was the rules I was raised in. But it was a lot easier to obey when I understood why he asked me to do something even if I didn’t agree with it or had my own ideas. It also made me feel like Dad thought I had a brain in my head which made me feel … I don’t know … better about it all and stuff. Sorta like he respected me as a person and expected me to be a thinking kind of person.”

“Yeah, my old man was the same. My mom not so much. Her parents not at all. But the fact is Hon sometimes in this life you just have to obey whether you know why or not; the why comes afterwards. David has been … uh …”

“Testing his boundaries?” I grinned.

“Being a pain in the @#$,” he responded in his particular way.

“Thor …”

“Call me on being vulgar or don’t Hon … but that’s what David has been for the last few days. He’s mad that he was taken off the horses and put onto minding the flocks more. He was getting too big headed and bossy with the younger kids and had started to mouth off to the older ones too. He’s getting jerked back in line.”

“Oh. Well why didn’t you say that in the first place?”

Thor just shook his head in the dark and laughed quietly before distracting us both with a completely different activity. We both had the 0300 watch which was actually a short watch since we were on the road to Clarksville proper by 0600.

We skipped going into the heart of Clarksville and I was glad as there was still a smoky smell on the early morning breeze to go with the burned out structures we saw on the perimeter of the city. Before I had a chance to ask one of our escorts said, “Pockets of the city are even worse than what you are seeing here. Some of the old timers that are left tell us that stories of Clarksville during the Civil War report the same kind of city-wide destruction. I’ve been stationed here a while … support for the 101st Airborne … and knew that the city had its share of crap heads but what hit us from Nashville is what caused all the problems.”

Thor asked, “Did you have time to evac most of the resources that were stationed here?”

“Classified info.” Then the guy he was riding with said, “Let’s just say we had what we needed to defend the base and then retake Clarksville. The city has been turned back over to the local civilian population but we maintain a healthy perimeter around the reservation and our supply lines. We occasionally provide support to the city when requested but we try and stay out of their business and ask them to stay out of ours.”

I thought that was an odd way of putting it but Thor gave me a look that said not to pursue it. After lunch we got off of the Ft. Campbell Parkway and onto a road called Tiny Town that gave me the fits. It was one of those Twilight Zone moments and for some reason I couldn’t get it out of my head. When Thor looked at me, asking silently what was wrong, I couldn’t really answer him with anything that would have made sense. He just rolled his eyes and told me to stop fooling around and stay alert. I didn’t know how to explain what I found so funny about it all – especially when there wasn’t really anything that was funny – so I just took the rebuff in stride and tried to do as I was told.

At the state line our escort said, “This is where we leave you. Head straight on up Pembroke Road and you’ll dead end into the community you are heading towards. You may not be met with a lot of friendly chatter; the community has gotten a little closed off in the last couple of months, but proof that your friends here own their land should at least get you in.”

After they turned away I asked, “You think they are going to set anyone to watch us as we drive away?”

Alfonso answered, “Probably already have look outs in place.” Turning to Thor he asked, “Is that why you told him you were going to try and check up on your friend?”

“Yeah. No sense causing problems when we don’t have to.” But as we got to his friends’ place it was obvious that no one had been home for a long time though they might have been in the beginning of it all. The windows of the farmhouse were mostly boarded over though it apparently didn’t do any good as there was significant fire damage showing through the house’s roof.

“Thor …”

“Stay here,” he told me gruffly.

Thor looked around before going out to the barn and then coming back and calling me to pull the wagon around. “Looks like Herb, or at least some members of his family, made it out and moved on someplace else.”

“How do you know?”

“His stuff is gone.”

I said, trying not to hurt his feelings about his friend still being alive, “It could have been salvagers.”

“Maybe … but I doubt it. A salvager would have taken everything and none of my stuff was touched which means that someone knew that it didn’t belong to the family.”

I climbed down from the wagon seat and looked down into a hole that Thor had uncovered. “It was originally a root cellar that got dug out to be a storm cellar. Herb turned it into a storage bay and built the barn around it. It usually has a car parked over it … old Model T Ford … that he was forever tinkering with. He must have put this hay on the floor after moving or using the Model T for something else. He … or someone … even left a wind up flashlight on the stairs.”

Sure enough several storage trunks and ammo boxes were stacked in the far corner of the dry hole in the ground. “Did you friend leave you a letter or anything to let you know what happened?”

“No. That was never Herb’s way. He’d be the type to figure the fact that he left my stuff in place was enough to pass on whatever he wanted to pass on.”

That was a definitely a guy thing I suppose. As we drug out the trunks and boxes and stacked them above ground I could see that there really wasn’t much though they were heavy. I also realized that we were officially maxed out for space and weight in the wagon so from here on out if I wanted to add something I’d have to be willing to give up something first … or in the case of any food stuffs we’d need to eat it up before restocking.

It was too late in the day to really go much farther so we set up camp right there. I was off watch rotation that night and it gave me time to repack the wagon. Thor grumbled a little bit but I looked at him and he understood he’d run into one of my non-negotiables. I like being organized, it makes me feel less clumsy and awkward, and spend a lot of time at it though I might go so far as to agree with Thor that I do it almost too much, wasting almost as much time as I save in the long run.

While everyone else was taking advantage of the little extra down time I had a blast with the thin PVC pipe that I found in the loft of the barn. I bent it over and attached it to the wagon walls and then took the camouflage tarp that we’d been using as a ground cover and wa-la … a modern version of a Conestoga Wagon. Ok, maybe not a Conestoga but I did create a more than passable covered wagon. The only problem was that the tarp made an awful crinkling noise that bothered the horses.

“Oh bother, be super sensitive then and spoil all my fun!” I said all cranky.

“Who the Sam Hill are you talking to?” Thor asked as he came over to check into the mess I was making.

“The horses. They don’t like the tarp.”

“I’m not sure I like it either. Cuts down on visibility.”

I just gave him a look. “Do you want me to go all hormonal on you? I spent hours trying to make this work.”

Thor’s eyebrows shot up into his hair line. “Don’t be grumpy Hon.”

“I’m not grumpy. I’m just tired of the sun beating down on me like a hammer all day long and then having to worry if the sun isn’t beating down is it going to rain and get all of our stuff wet. And even if it doesn’t actually rain the dew has been making a mess out of everything. I found mildew on one of the clothes bags when I was cleaning it out just now.”

He gave me a funny look. “You one of those women who are bears about spring cleaning aren’t you.”

“Yeah, and fall cleaning too, and don’t you forget it. My grandmothers … and Mom too … would spin in their graves if I didn’t take care of things the right way. Now here, help me get this stupid tarp down before that dang ol’ horse decides to kick. He’s already given it one try and I’m not in the mood for any more.”

“Relax Hon, he’s just tired of being in the traces.”

I snapped, “Well so am I. For every mile forward it feels like we are being held back two. I want to get some place so we can get to the next place. And I’m just tired of all the looks and questions and …”

“Whao, what’s all this?” Thor asked trying to put his arms around me.

“Nothin’,” I groused.

“You and your ‘nothings’. Now tell me before I get hormonal on you.”

I sighed knowing I’d probably led the conversation this direction subconsciously. I shook my head, “Thor I don’t mean to complain. At least I don’t think I do. I just … I like the other women, I really do. They just keep asking questions and trying to give me advice and it is starting to wear on my nerves … and confuse me which is even dumber.”

“Yeah, I’d kinda noticed that you seemed to have a good time with them back in Dover but the last couple of days you seem to be staying away.”

I finally relaxed as he held me in a casual hug that let me lean against him. It seemed to take the weight off of me both figuratively and literally. “It’s … it’s just girl stuff.”

After a moment Thor asked, “You under the same heat that Delia is getting?”

“And Markrid and Elsapet. But they seem to enjoy it, Delia too. I don’t. Our business is our business and we’ll figure it out. I’m afraid they are going to say something to you and … and …”

“And what?”

I felt really stupid saying it. “You’ll run off. I mean, not run exactly but …” I sighed not knowing quite how to say what I was feeling.

“You want a wedding,” he said, but I could hear the complete lack of emotion in his voice.

“Not exactly. I want to be with you and I want it to be right. I want … want words said between us but I don’t know if I need someone to say words over us exactly. I’m … I’m not sure I ever expected to have the white dress, flowers, and the whole nine yards even if maybe I fanaticized about it a little. On the other hand, I’m not sure it makes that much sense now. Does it?”

He grunted which really wasn’t an answer.

“Just forget about it Thor. My issue, not yours. You’ve got the patience of Job and I swear I don’t mean to be a tease.”

He finally did smile. “How many times do I have to tell you that I like torturing myself.”

I wasn’t buying it. “You can smile all you want to Thor but I know one of this days I’m going to have to pay the piper. I just want to feel like … like …” I shrugged. “I just want it to be right, not just the physical stuff that I don’t worry about at all ‘cause you’ve proved to me enough that we are compatible that way … it’s all the head and heart stuff that is giving me heart burn. I trust you and I want to be with you. I … Oh forget it … I’m just talking myself in circles again. I wish they’d just leave me alone and stop pushing. The more they push – although I know they mean well – the more it makes me feel like what we are doing is dirty or something.”

He stiffened up at that. “Oh don’t Thor,” I told him grabbing him in a tight hug. “I told you, it’s my problem and not anything you’ve done. You aren’t making me do anything I don’t want to and you take no for an answer a lot better than I should probably expect, especially after all this time.”

Uncle Bedros picked that moment to come over and ask Thor for some help and I pushed off of him and pushed him in that direction and went back to taking down the tarp and folding it away. I hadn’t been completely honest with Thor. I did want something, some special day to remember that said this is the day we started the rest of our lives together. I wanted an anniversary to celebrate. But life had changed so much. I wasn’t getting a church wedding like little girls fantasize about. It didn’t look like I was getting any kind of wedding and I was pretty sure I could live with that, but it didn’t stop it from bothering me when the women were egging me on about “bringing Thor up to scratch.”

I put it out of my mind, knowing I wasn’t going to suddenly come to some magic resolution, and finished packing up the wagon. And no, I didn’t get nosey and open up Thor’s boxes. I figured if and when he wanted me to know what was in them he’d tell me himself.

By the time he was finished and it had gotten dark I had our little personal camp all set up and even managed to surprise him with a bit of “coffee.” I dry roasted some beet root and did the same with some chicory and dandelion root that I’d found and then ran the whole mess through the percolator. Thor was very cautious when he tried it but the surprised look on his face after the first sip told me it wasn’t half bad.

“Little sweeter than true coffee but not bad Hon, not bad at all. Now if we could just find something that added the kick of caffeine …”

I’d added coffee to my list of things to keep an eye out for a long time ago but it was as scarce as hen’s teeth as was granulated white sugar. I couldn’t wait to get home to find out if all of my parents’ supplies were still there. And thinking and working I completely put the other topic behind me. But Thor hadn’t.

As he finished his cup of “coffee” he said, “Come here.”

I was all prepared for a bit of snuggling as we climbed in our tent but instead he pulled me over to his side and said, “Hon … I think I understand what you’ve been going through with the Chuckri’s.”

“Oh … no … Joan didn’t say anything did she?”

“Joan, Bedros … all of them have been teasing me a little. Bedros … well, he’s been a little stronger than that but it hadn’t bothered me until you said something.”

“Thor …”

“No, let me finish. What you and I have, I consider it the real deal and forever. You’ve told me you feel the same way.” I nodded. “My reasons for holding off I’ve already told you and I’ve been relieved you haven’t made it any harder by yanking my chain or tempting me too much. But if you really want a wedding I’ll get Bedros to … to say some words over us. Will that make you feel better?”

I looked at this man and suddenly the last little bit fell into place. I smiled and it must have been big enough for him to see because I guess he assumed that have Bedros saying something was what I wanted. I put my hand on his chest and said, “I don’t need Bedros to say something because you just did.”

“Huh?”

I laughed as quietly as my warm and fuzzy feelings would let me. “Oh Thor, I don’t know why but you offering to get Bedros to do that is all I need. Yes, you’ve explained why you were waiting before but I guess I thought you were just saying that to be nice and give me time to figure things out but that’s really how you feel isn’t it? That you want us to be someplace settled before … you know.”

He brushed a stray bit of hair out of my face, “Yeah, that’s the way I feel.”

“Well, I’m satisfied with that. I don’t know why but … but if you don’t mind waiting until we get to the farm … and … and we make a special day of it – even if it is just for the two of us – then I think that is all I need to make it feel right. I just couldn’t stand the idea of being lackadaisical about it, like it wasn’t important.”

He scratched his whiskery chin and said, “I’m not sure I’ll ever understand females but if that’s what you want, what will make you feel ‘right’ about it, then that’s what we’ll do. We’ll have us a nice dinner and some fun and then … well, we’ll make it official.” He kissed me and then quietly added, “I also like that ‘being at peace’ that you seem to find so important. It’s giving me a lot to think about. Kinda feels like this is part of it.”

“Oh Thor.” That made me as happy as the other did and we both seemed to rest even better than we normally did.

And we needed it because the next day we were supposed to reach Fairview and the Chuckri’s property and all the changes that entailed.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 55

The morning didn’t start off very promising. “Hon … I think we may need your covered wagon idea after all.”

Lovely. Grand. Just flaming great. Rain and pot holes just make life a whole version of interesting that I’d rather it didn’t. I used to love rainy days but lately it seems that they provide more trouble than relief. Maybe if we didn’t have to travel in it but we did so I had to force myself just to suck it up. The Pembroke Road may have been a nice little road at some point but it wasn’t that way anymore. Grass and potholes revealed the road bed every few yards and the sides of the road were getting washed away. Tall, brown grass flanked the road on both sides. The rain only made it a sloppy version of what it used to be.

The horses balked at heading out in the weather but we managed to get a reasonably early start anyway and we did get on down the road. It was just after mid morning when we ran into our first we-don’t-cotton-to-strangers-around-here interview after being stopped by a patrol of four men on horseback. Thor stayed out of it and let Chuckri and Uncle Bedros handle it since they were the ones that were going to have to live in the area. The men seemed to unruffled after Uncle Bedros finished speaking with them and then told the children loudly enough that I understood it to be for the benefit of the patrolmen, “Do not let yourselves or the animals wander off of the road. Our neighbors have just planted.”

Of course in return the kids looked at him like he’d gone senile because every one of them knew better than to do something that rude in farm country. I had a hard time not smiling remembering when my dad had done the same thing to me a time or two. I finally asked him why he’d tell me something he knew doggone good and well I knew and answered me, “I know you’ve got sense Rocky girl. But apparently that man I was talking to doesn’t. We save time and trouble by being more polite than he was.” When I heard the kids grumbling I told them the same thing my dad told me and then gave them a wink. It seemed to soothe them some – they have a high regard for what Uncle Bedros thinks of them – and when it happened several times as the day wore on they understood and all answered politely with a “Yes sir” which seemed to add to the impression that the Chuckri’s weren’t an unruly outsider clan coming to muck the area up.

Lunch time the rain was still falling but it was more of an annoying drizzle than any kind of downpour. We stopped in a vacant field at the crossroads of Pembroke where a trading post had been set up. Again Thor let the Chuckri clan handle their business.

“You’re being really helpful,” Chuckri told him sarcastically afterwards.

Thor just looked at him. “What? The mantle of responsibility sitting a little heavy?”

Chuckri stared back as reality finally seemed to sink all the way in and said, “So you’re really serious about leaving.”

“I’ve never said anything other than that. Rochelle and I are going to head out as soon as we can. We still have a lot of miles to cover, nearly as many as it took to get you this far.”

Chuckri sighed. “This isn’t how I imagined it. I … I thought you would change your mind and stay … both of you.”

“So I could continue being the bad guy while you got to start a new life?”

“Man, you know that’s not what I mean,” Chuckri said.

“Isn’t it? That would be the end result anyway.” Thor stopped and trying not to leave things on bad terms said, “This is your life. I’m glad you’re getting it man, since it seems to be one you want but it’s not my life. I’ve found the rest of my life with Rochelle. I’ve supported you and your choices; not just yours but your family’s too. Now I hope that you can support mine and let us part still friends.”

I hadn’t meant to eavesdrop and I left to get back in the wagon seat before I could hear anything bad about myself. You never hear anything good that way. People are too honest when they don’t think you are around.

We started back out and Thor road close. “You heard?” he asked.

“Some of it. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to listen in,” I apologized.

“I would have told you anyway. Chuckri will get over it; he’ll have to. But for myself I think the sooner we head out the better. They keep trying to tangle us up.”

“I know. Pilbos …”

“Pilbo Doughboy is going to get on my nerves yet.”

I laughed, “Oh honestly. He just wants us to stay so that there is someone the same size as he is. That way he can share the work.”

“Now that I believe though I’m not sure that is the only reason.”

Knowing Pilbos managed to get under Thor’s skin no matter what I said I let the subject go and returned to the original one. “I’m ready to go whenever you are. I’ve been looking at the maps and I’m feeling all turned around. My original plan had been to cut down to Knoxville then into Sieverville and into the Great Smoky Mountain National Park and pick up the Appalachian Trail at Newfound Gap but there is no way we will be able to do that with the wagon and I don’t want to give it up now that we have the supplies to carry. You got any thoughts on a route?”

“Some but I’d prefer to hear yours first,” he answered.

Trying to drive and think at the same time I told him, “Well, instead of dipping down into Tennessee again and adding those extra miles I was thinking to head as straight east as we could. Something along the lines of Fairview to Russellville then to Bowling Green then to the Cumberland Gap area and cross into Virginia via the Wilderness Road. That’ll take us nearly all the way to Clinchport and from there well use the Jefferson National Forest and hopefully pick up a deer or boar – assuming everything isn’t hunted over by then – and then a few more small jumps should put us in Damascus. The one thing I really don’t like about this plan is that we’ll have to use I81 and go through Bristol City and that whole corridor like that until we can get to the Jeb Stuart Highway.”

“Mmm,” he murmured. “That’s about the way I read it too. Miss everything major until that point … if you don’t count Bowling Green … and then run the risk of a mishap right as you are on your doorstep.”

“Our doorstep,” I corrected him. “I thought about caching stuff in the forest and hiking up Holston Lake and then the river but I can’t see that makes much sense as we’d have to eventually come back for everything with the wagon anyway and risking it on mountain roads that could be iced over isn’t my idea of a good time.”

“Here’s a compromise for you then. We’ll follow the plan to outside of Bristol City, gather intel along the way, and the re-evaluate it before we finalize our route,” Thor said, reaching over to get a damp lock of hair out of my face.

I told him, “I don’t see any other way to go right now so long as you don’t either. I hate to say it but I counted it up and I came up with three hundred and ninety miles. Even at twenty miles a day – and you know that isn’t going to happen every day and we’ll have weather to deal with a days to let the horses rest too – so adding in a little wiggle room we have another month ahead of us. That puts us home …”

“… late September or early October if nothing goes wrong,” Thor finished for me.

I nodded and Thor continued, “Later than we wanted to be but there shouldn’t be snow yet.”

“No, but as much as we’re sweating right now you have to remember we’ll be in the mountains. Beginning of October the highs average in the upper 60s and low 70s and down into the 30s and 40s at night. We usually get our first killing frost in October too. Neither one of us is dressed for that kind of weather. That’s the other thing we’re going to need to do; find you some long handle under gear and a good winter coat … and better footgear too. I can knit you some socks but not until we …”

Thor gave me a surprised look, “You can knit?!”

I rolled my eyes, “Trust me, my mother and grandmothers didn’t give me a chance to do anything but learn all the arts of the homemaker. I can knit, crochet, quilt, tat … generally most of the sewing arts. Then there is food preservation and preparation … that was self defense so that I wouldn’t have to listen to how much I ate. Gardening of anything that will grow goes with that too and so does animal husbandry. That doesn’t even include all the stuff I learned to do with Dad. I can tinker like average but nothing like you or Alfonso. Forestry I learned from Dad’s best friend who is … or was … a national park ranger.”

We would have kept on but I caught sight of something above the trees. “What … on … earth? Did we take a wrong turn someplace?”

Ludvig laughed. “I thought the same thing the first time I came out here. Actually that is the Jefferson Davis monument, or as most people around here call it, the Jeff Davis monument. It is a local landmark.”

“I should say so.”

The closer we got the bigger the monument appeared and by the time we got at the foot of it I was as amazed as I had been the time I saw the Washington Monument in DC. But the monument didn’t hold my attention for long because a contingent of men … some dress like modern farmers and some dressed really old fashioned … had come to meet the wagons.

“Excuse me,” one of the older men in the front said to me.

“Just a minute sir. Mr. Chuckri will ride forward if you don’t mind waiting,” I told him with my best southern manners. I saw everyone of them trying not to give me the eyeball. I know I kind of stick out at the best of times but I hate it almost as much when people are having to force themselves to be polite and not stare. Give me an politely honest question over and embarrassed silence any day.

Thor must have sensed my unease because he came up beside our wagon while Uncle Bedros and Chuckri got off their mounts and walked towards the waiting men. Suddenly one of the old fashioned dressed men started nodding and then called a young man forward that had been waiting across the road and sent him running into the small store on the corner of the road. An elderly man came out walking with a cane. He was dressed as a modern farmer but he seemed to on good terms with the others.

Then Uncle Bedros and the elderly man both smiled and clasped hands and beamed at each other like old friends. As the men from the town relaxed so did the rest of us. We stood around waiting for nearly an hour while news was exchanged but eventually we did head out with the family’s main wagon leading the way. Two more miles down the road and then we turned off onto a gravel road that was badly unkept as were the fields we passed beside. Then we came out of the overgrown area into a small farm yard. There was a modern house, an older house that was part cabin, and three trailers ranging in age from not too old to ancient but salvageable.

We spent two days helping the Chuckri’s settle in and I was feeling like with every moment we stayed it was getting harder to get loose. The evening of our third night there as dinner was ending Thor stood up and told everyone, “I’m not much for long goodbyes. We all knew this day would have to come. Rochelle and I will be leaving at first light in the morning.”

What a ruckus that created but it was true, everyone had known that we were bound to leave and that we really did need to leave sooner rather than later. The next day would be the first of September and already we could feel the change in the weather.

 

[peekaboo]

Once again one of your stories has kept me awake till the wee hours of the morning,,, Good Job.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 56

Rain when we got there and rain when we left; not what I would call a fair view no matter what the town was called. I was so full of nervous anticipation that I had to physically hold myself in check so as to not hurt the feelings of any of those we were leaving behind.

There were handshakes, hugs, and not a few kisses as we finally manage to assure everyone that we were indeed set on our course and ready to leave. There were even a few, hurried gifts made to send with us. Uncle Bedros surprised us the most by making us a wooden chest. It was not as ornate as their antique one was but it was beautiful nonetheless and he had to have been working on it for some time.

It was Grandmother Chuckri however that nearly brought me to tears. She was such a tiny woman I had to bend way down to hear what she was saying but when I did she put her gnarled hands on either side of my face, gave me a kiss on both cheeks, and gave me her bridal blessing. Uncle Bedros looked slightly affronted but no matter what age or background a mother’s certain look will always bring her child around. Uncle Bedros humphed a bit and said that it was a shame that we could not stay as they planned some nuptials after appropriate housing had been arranged but in the end he too gave us a blessing for a long and fruitful life together.

I bent slightly and gave a small peck to his check and whispered, “Thank you for talking to Thor. I trust him and we both are learning to fully trust in Him.”

More throat clearing and a pleased but subdued look on the man’s face told me he understood what I had tried to say in as few words as possible. He insisted on saying a prayer for a hedge of protection around us and then we were off as the sun rose in the east casting the only worry over our exit as I remember my grandmother’s old saying, “Red sky at night is a sailor’s delight, red sky at morning then sailors take warning.” Wasn’t a true red but it wasn’t a friendly rose color either.

I drove the wagon and Thor road beside as we headed back to the crossroads which, upon turning east, would take us first to the small town of Elkton where a Mennonite family had agreed to sell us supplies for our journey and then on to the western outskirts of Russellville where we would spend our first night alone. I shivered in anticipation.

“You’ll miss them.” I made it a statement and not a question.

“Yeah,” he sighed. “But it was time. I’d never have a life of my own – at least not one of my own choosing – and they’d never … never live up to their full potential if I hung around like a crutch for the rest of all our lives. We’ve travelled a lot of miles together through many different countries but eventually everyone needs to take that fork in the road that leads away from all the others.”

I looked at him and then reached over and touched his shoulder. “No regrets? Are you sure? If … well … if you want …”

He smiled and shook his head. “No Ro-chelle. Even if we didn’t have your farm …” He stopped at my raised eyebrow. “Even if we didn’t have our farm I wouldn’t … wouldn’t want to stay here. This was Chuckri’s dream. I want my own dream and it was never the one that they’re living. A homestead hidden in the backwoods shared with a long legged beauty that is more than a match for me suits me much better.”

Oh my goodness did that man know how to verbally sweep me off my feet and we road in silence until we saw a small knot of old-fashioned dressed men near an old storefront on the outskirts of Elkton. It was the man whom Thor had made the trade with.

Mr. Stoltzfus guided us to a pole barn so that we could load our supplies out of the rain. It was a little too interesting for my comfort to get everything packed into the wagon and stabilized but we had no choice. In addition to the potatoes, dried corn, and a few bushels of fresh produce Thor had purchased a five gallon pail of honey, some jars of jam, and several different jars of pickled items. He had also, unknown to me until that moment, purchased some bags of different meat cure and sausage seasonings.

“Not what you might call a traditional wedding gift but at least this should set your mind at ease that we’ll have something to start with if your parents place is ransacked,” he told me as he wiggled his nose after a large drop of water caught him off guard as it came off his hat.

“I just wish you hadn’t felt the need to trade two of your knives to get it. That’s your collection.” I reached under the wagon seat and pulled out a hooded rain poncho and asked, “Now will you wear this? The rain is only getting worse.”

He grumbled but put the poncho on but not without saying, “I don’t like how this thing limits my visibility and hearing. And stop worrying about me trading those knives. I’ve got three more just like them. I can’t even remember where I picked them all up at now. In the beginning I didn’t use a lot of discretion as far as what I was collecting or considered whether I already had one. They’ve more than paid me back for storing them all these years.” He adjusted his raingear so that it wouldn’t flap in the wind and then told me, “If the weather gets much worse we may need to cut the day short.”

The day didn’t get any worse … but it didn’t get any better either. It was full dark before we found an empty building to stay the night in. We were lucky that it had a working bay door and we just pulled the wagon in, horse and all, and then started a fire out of some charcoal and dry wood that I had thought to collect the evening before so that I could at least fix dinner.

“How much more wood do we have?” Thor asked.

“Enough for one regular or two small fires but I need to find some dry stuff as soon as possible. I’ll make us some oatmeal in the thermos that will cook overnight and make an extra ration of coffee or tea …”

“Make it tea. I know you don’t like coffee much and I might as well get used to doing without.”

“Oh Thor …”

“Don’t sweat it Hon. Coffee isn’t the best for me anyway and …” He stopped with a bone popping stretch before continuing. “… I plan on being around as long as possible to enjoy the company of a certain beautiful woman that just about fell into my lap.”

I laughed knowing he was just funning as we were both too tired and damp for any kind of temptation to really be all that tempting. It wasn’t cold but the damp made it feel cooler than was comfortable so we made sure to throw blankets over both horses after making sure they were completely dry and then we crawled into our own nest to get some much needed rest.

“Thor?”

“Hmm?” he answered already half asleep. “You gonna be the kind of woman that wakes me up in the middle of the night to tell me you heard something?”

I answered his tired grin with one of my own. “No. Or at least I won’t make it a habit. Just wanting to make sure that you threw the bolts on all of the doors.”

“Yes dear but I’ll double check ‘em for the fourth time if it will make you feel better,” he answered on a humorous sigh.

“You goof. It just feels … weird. I … I guess I’d gotten used to there being someone on guard duty all the time.”

He sighed. “Me too. But this is our new reality and right now I think we can both sleep at the same time. It may not always be like that so let’s take advantage of it … and get some sleep.”

We tried, we really did. But about two in the morning the horses woke me up and I elbowed Thor who was awake as soon as I was getting out of the tent. “Ro …”

“Hear that wind? And the horses are starting to get jittery.”

“Woman you are not going out in that,” he said in a forbidding voice.

“Do I look crazy? I want to grab our packs and put them down in the oil changing bay. If we were at home you can bet we’d be heading for the storm cellar right now.”

The wind moaned and howled for another two hours and a few times I worried the windows were going to blow out. It finally settled down into a normal storm again but I was still felt on edge; the only reason we slept was because we were simply exhausted. The next day dawned unreasonably pretty, a sharp contrast to the day before. There was quite a bit of tree trash blown down all over which I happily picked up to put in the wood barrel. I also spied several wooden pallets in the back corner of the building I I broke them down and tied the wood under the tarp on the wagon bed.

Several of the buildings around the one we had spent the night in had window damage, especially the ones that fronted the main road. We weren’t going through Russellville proper but to the south of it along Hwy 79. The damage was phenomenal. There were large trees down everywhere.

Thor and I stopped to help an elderly couple and their teenage grandchildren who were trying to clear a large tree away from their front gate. The patriarch said, “It’s been rainy off and on for a month now. Good for the garden after last year’s drought but the ground was just wet enough that this storm has laid over a lot of the damaged trees. See that old oak? The roots shoulda kept it well in the ground but you can see where the dry weather had killed off a lot of the small roots only leaving the mains ones to support it. Just weren’t enough this time. We’ll winter over on the wood from this tree and the one in the backyard too and have some left over. And thank you kindly for stopping.”

His wife added, “Nice to know that some nice folks are making it in this strange world we’re living in. Now you want to be careful if you are heading towards Bowling Green. Auburn ain’t so bad though they’ll shuffle you on through fast enough, but Bowling Green … I’d avoid it, go around it, or something. We lost a daughter and son in law there to some kind of sickness and there’s too many that has got the can’t-help-its that will take what’s yours if you don’t give it to ‘em straight off. Strange stories you hear from people running from there and you don’t know what to believe anymore.”

Thor and I thanked them for the warning and after being “shuffled on through” every bit as fast as the old woman had predicted around Auburn we pulled off the road and took a good look at the map we had.

“Any particular reason you wanted to take the northern route before heading south to Beaumont?” Thor asked me.

“No particular reason, it just looked like the quickest. Have you seen a different route?”

“Yeah. It may be a few more miles, but not many; only a handful. But it keeps us on a nearly due east heading, we avoid Bowling Green and Glasgow and the everloving interstate which never was something I wanted to trek on again.”

“Then let’s do it.”

“Hold up. I admit it sounds good and I’m grateful you are willing to just go along but we need to think this through. We are going to have to cross something called the Barren River Lake and that’s going to be another bridge that we won’t know if it is passable or not until we get there.”

I stopped and gave his concerns due attention then said, “It won’t be the first bridge, nor the last, we have to contend with to get home. If the bridge isn’t good then maybe they’ll have a ferry system up. I’ve been camping at Barren River Lake back in my scout days. It’s a beautiful area. And if the bridge is out and there is no ferry I know there are a couple of roads we can take to circumnavigate the water. It will take us out of our way but no where nearly as bad as had we been unable to cross the Mississippi or Kentucky Lake where we wanted to.”

“You sure about that road? It doesn’t show any such thing on this map.”

“They’re all small roads, only something that would show up on a local map. If the bridge is out there should be plenty of bait and tackle shops around there, mom and pop tourist shops and the like, that will have simple maps we can follow if not a full blown fold out one.”

“All right then, let’s do it. But not tonight. I don’t know about you but I wouldn’t mind getting set up before the sun goes down. We’ll turn off there at 240 and as soon as we find some place decent we’ll hold up for the night.”

Easier said than done. There was a lot of destruction and the few people we saw ran away before we could even let them know whether we were a threat to them or not. A dilapidated barn out back of a warehouse building was our protection from the elements. I kept the fire small by making a mini rocket stove and creating a veggie stir fry with wheat I had soaked all day.

“I want to set a guard tonight. Too many people too scared of their own shadows,” Thor said thoughtfully.

“Yeah. They were worse than rabbits.”

“Hon … just let me get a couple of hours then I’ll take the rest of the night …”

I reached out and whacked him with a wooden spoon I had been putting back in the kitchen box. “We’ll take turns same as always. Three on three off.”

I got a patented wicked Thor grin and a wink I could see in the firelight. “Alright. Hopefully it won’t always be like this. The sooner we are away from the bigger towns the better.”

I was two hours into my watch when I heard something I hadn’t heard in months.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 57

I gave it another minute and then decided to wake Thor just to be on the safe side.

“Thor,” I whispered.

He woke as fast as he ever did and came over and then got a strange look on his face. “How long?”

“Five minutes maybe another two while I was trying to figure out if I was really hearing what I thought I was hearing.”

“Been any closer than this?”

“Hard to say. The wind is blowing away from us so I’m not sure if the sound is being pushed away as well or what.”

“Could also be that there is something between us and them.” And as soon as he said that the sound was just suddenly there and louder.

“Get ready. And Rochelle … no hesitating if it comes down to it.” I nodded and we went back to looking out the gaps in the wooden siding on the barn.

It didn’t take long. Small headlights appeared and I counted nearly a dozen of them. There were two with dune buggy frames and the rest were two-wheeled. All of them looked old enough and beat up enough to have been built before I was born … maybe like from when my dad was a kid or something, some of them even older than that. You could hear some of the engines knocking and missing.

I thought for sure the motorcycles and two passenger buggies were heading straight for us but instead they started circling around the warehouse in front of our location, revving their engines menacingly. The horses didn’t like the motor sounds but they had learned to behave as warhorses and shivered their flanks without sharing their displeasure vocally.

After a few minutes of revving engines and hooting and hollering and cat calling someone inside the warehouse finally broke when a Molotov cocktail was thrown into the old building.

“Oh God,” I whispered.

“Easy,” Thor whispered back, trying to bolster me.

People started pouring from the burning building like rats from a sinking ship. Thor and I had known there were people in the building but I’d had no idea there had been that many. Some of them were small children.

The motorcycle gang – I didn’t know what else to call them – were running people down, knocking them down with nail-filled boards they were using as weapons, chasing them simply to cause fear, and worse. You could hear the maniacal laughter above the screams and cries of their victims.

“Interesting,” Thor muttered.

“Excuse me?!”

Thor continued to look from our hidden spot. “No guns. They have motors but not guns. That make sense to you?”

“None of this makes sense,” I complained nearly distraught. “Thor I can’t stand this. There’s little kids out there.”

“OK then you tell me how we are supposed to shoot the idiots with wheels and not hit the crazies running around out there. They could overwhelm them with numbers but all they are doing is running around like a bunch of chickens with their heads cut off.”

“But …”

“But me no buts woman. I don’t like it either but we can’t rescue people that aren’t even trying to rescue themselves. Already been there, done that, have too many flaming t-shirts from it … and scars. Something else is going on here and I’m not getting involved until I know what it is.”

It hurt so bad to watch that I had to treat it like a bad movie from the 70s. It was the only way I could cope with what I was witnessing. Then from out of nowhere in came about six really fast Asian style crotch rockets. I heard a lot more screaming and shouting but the fight seemed to suddenly be on between the crotch rockets and the older style motor bikes and passenger buggies and it looked like a fight that had been had before.

Not ten minutes later came a group of men on foot and while these didn’t have motorized transportation they did have guns.

“Geez …,” I breathed.

“Chaos. Why does it always have to be chaos,” I heard Thor mutter irritably.

I wasn’t sure what he meant but to say that the scene before us was chaotic wasn’t a lie. The slow motors outnumbered the fast motors and they fought to a standstill and then turned in a “enemy of my enemy is my friend” type strategy to take on the men with the guns. And all around people were getting injured and a few were probably dead. And even crazier, and I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I saw people risking everything to go out in the middle of the chaos to pilfer the dead and dying of anything valuable.

“Pick a shot. Pick it careful. Try and make sure that they don’t come down here at the barn. We don’t need anyone coming close out of curiosity. One round at a time only and try and make it occur during a barrage from the other shooters so that it blends in.”

I almost didn’t have time to do as Thor ordered and was just able to take down one of the crotch rocket riders. The rider wound up driving straight into the burning building as he lost control after my shot took him in the right shoulder. A few moments later there was a loud whoosh as the bike exploded in the intense heat of that inferno.

“Almost missed that one Hon. Be more careful.”

Under other circumstances I might have had something to say to that but he was right and it was no time to let pride twist my knickers into a knot. My next shot took one of the buggy drivers out and the buggy ran into some bushes. I popped off another quick shot, hitting the engine, as I watched some people running towards it.

“Why?” was Thor’s one word question.

“If these people are as … as … whatever they are as they appear they’d only use the buggy to turn into the thing they had feared. Better to simply take it out all together.”

He grunted and then took a shot that hit another biker sending him into the hiding place of the men with the guns.

Thor gave the order to, “Hold off on any more. Let’s see if the interplay changes any.”

Since the gunmen didn’t seem to care whether they hit a runner or a motorized rider it didn’t surprise me any to see the gunmen start to intentionally pick off individuals from the original group of victims.

Thor whispered, “Watch to make sure that we don’t have anyone heading this way. That fire is lighting up the sky and may spread before too long. Idiots. I’m surprised we haven’t had anyone come back here yet as it is.”

I thought for a second and then said, “Territory. This whole thing looks like a territory fight if you think about it.”

“I think I see what you’re saying but finish it.”

“The … let’s call them runners ‘cause I don’t know what else suits them better. The runners use the warehouse as their territory. They’ve probably been turned out of a lot of other places which is why their group is so big but in such a compact location. They are at the bottom of the local food chain. The second group – the slow bikers – came to agitate and maybe run them off. Maybe the slow bikers territory abuts this warehouse area or maybe they were looking to enlarge their territory.”

I stopped to think as I watched the chaos continue only slightly abated and then continued. “Now the fast bikers heard that the slow bikers were getting up to something and they weren’t going to let them have anything that they weren’t going to try and take for themselves first, only they got to the game a little late and a little understaffed for what was occurring which is how the standoff happened. Enter the gunmen. I’m not sure where they fit in but maybe they just thought it was a good opportunity to have all of their quarry in one place where they could pick them off like fish in a barrel because normally they might be too fast to deal with in the city.” I waited for Thor to say something.

Before he could the fight escalated again with all of the motor bikers, fast and slow, attacking the gunmen as one. Only two of the bikers fell and the gunmen were flushed from their hiding spot and now they were running with the original group of victims, never being allowed to slow down long enough to aim and get off a good shot in the night. The bikers concentrated on them with their chains and spiked boards and soon enough Thor said, “Again. I’m not sure I care who we hit this time around. Just don’t make your fire too concentrated. We want to add to the confusion without getting noticed.”

We’d pick off a biker giving the gunmen a chance to gain the upper hand and then we’d pick off a gunmen when they started hitting the non-bikers. Back and forth with no real timing to it and many minutes between shots so as not to bring attention to our location. The warehouse fire spread, but it spread forward pushed by the wind.

The fire also seemed to run the rest of the citizens of the booby hatch away. I was shivering in reaction. For some reason this was worse than any of the other battles I had ever been in. Thor seeing my reaction said, “Easy Hon. You’ll find a direct confrontation always seems easier to deal with than one like this.”

I asked him, “You’ve had to fight like this before? Fight but not ever really be part of the battle?”

He nodded soberly. “Sure. So have a great many soldiers, it’s the nature of modern warfare. There were fewer and fewer opportunities for hand-to-hand combat. Everything was computer generated target numbers and strategies, long distance firing with smart bombs doing most of the work or things like road side bombs and traps doing the damage with the enemy long gone leaving you no one to shoot back at.”

“I don’t like this,” I told him bluntly not caring if I sounded like a petulant child or not.

“No one does, not really. But you do what you have to Hon. Had we gotten any more involved in the altercation we would have been at too much risk. Better to do it this way and live to fight another day if necessary.”

“I know … I really do Thor. It’s no different than the backwoods fighting that I heard about growing up; the feuding, the ambushing, stuff like that. It was just … hard … to stand back and let things develop enough for us to do anything at all … and watch while people were getting hurt, while little children were getting hurt.”

Thor reached over and pulled me into a one armed hug. “I’m sorry Hon. I just didn’t feel the risk was worth it. I know it hurt your heart but war … and make no mistake this is a kind of war … is hard and my goal is to get us to the farm with our skin in one piece. If we can help along the way we will … but not at too great a risk to ourselves. We’re two people, not Pershing’s freaking army.”

I nodded against his chest but was gladder than glad that I’d never experienced the kind of life that Thor had that had given him the ability to be that detached and … complaisant wasn’t exactly the word I was looking for but it was near enough that made no difference.

I don’t know how we managed it but we finished the night taking turns on watch and sleeping. I know that the only way I really slept was in Thor’s arms. He slept beside me while I took my watch and his nearness steadied me.

It wasn’t only the type of fight we had experienced that had thrown me off my stride; it was finally and completely realizing how alone we were. I thought about it as the night wore on and I was able to understand Thor’s caution in how much we took on. We weren’t invincible. We didn’t have an endless supply of ammo. And we had only a few resources to get us where we were going and to set us up for winter in case everything was gone. It may have sounded selfish at first but we weren’t the saviors of the world and we had to look out for ourselves and cover each others’ backs because we were alone with no one else to count on for support or help if we got in a jam.

We left that little piece of hell before first light. Thor had already been out to check what bodies remained but the only thing he came back with was a shotgun and a bag of slugs to go with it. “All the other bodies have been stripped … down to the skin so you might want to avert your eyes, it ain’t a pretty sight. They missed the gunmen under that last buggy you shot that wrapped that tree. Most of the machinery has already been stripped as well except for that one; too much of a mess to do anything with.”

I kept my rifle handy as always but Thor seemed to take some comfort in adding that shotgun to the wagon seat. I tell you in all the trekking I had done to that point I’d never been so glad to shake the dust off my shoes from a place as the area around Bowling Green. All of the small towns along 240 looked the same as the area we’d just left; Woodburn, Allen Springs, and even south to Westfork to some extent. Breakfast that morning was apples and we also ate a raw produce lunch so that we didn’t have to stop to do more than let the animals have a rest.

Looking around after getting back up into the wagon seat I said, “The exodus from the big cities must have been bad around here.”

Thor nodded, “Likely, but what makes you say it in that particular way?”

I sighed and then tried to put my feelings into words. “This is … this is farm country Thor or at least the rural boonies. The terrain might be different from where I grew up by I’d stake a lot and say that the people themselves aren’t that different. Might be a little more to ourselves in the mountains but farmers are farmers are farmers on a local level, even if their farm is more about animals than produce or tobacco versus moonshine. You see how people just close up and give us the eye as we go by? It would take a lot of hurt to get that level of reaction from that many people like this.”

“Maybe but you gotta remember Hon that people are probably on the cusp of having to admit that no one is going to come help for a good long while. People are worried. They are counting every grain of rice or morsel of food they have. The medically weak and frail are starting to die off if they hadn’t already. People are starting to look at themselves and see grasshoppers instead of ants. And they might have been surviving on hope up to this point but winter’s coming and that has to be preying on the minds of those that have survived this far. Look how relieved Bedros’ neighbors were to find he was prepared to be at least partially self-sufficient until spring time; they were even more willing to trade with him when they realized it wouldn’t be going to waste.”

“True. I did kinda think that was strange. But these folks aren’t the only ones worrying about winter coming.”

Thor shook his head, “Don’t go there again Hon. We’ll evaluate when we get to the farm and see what kind of damage there is to repair. Until then there isn’t anything you can do.”

“I’m not worried about the house so much,” I told him, blithely ignoring his suggestion to change the subject. “I mean I am but if the house is uninhabitable there is the cabin. And if both are a lost cause then I know some caverns we can hole up in for the winter. It’s the supplies …”

“Hon …”

I sighed, “Oh all right. But you know I’m right.”

“Yes but that doesn’t mean I think worrying it to death is going to make it any better. You’re just winding yourself up again and there’s no purpose to it.” I relied on Thor’s calm way of dealing with things quite a bit, it was one of the things that made him and outstanding leader, but it also made me want to throw a boot at his head now and again.

We couldn’t find a barn or even a shed to stay in that night so we hunkered down in a stand of trees well off the road near a little creek. The babble of the water over the soft round pebbles in the creek bottom soothed me so that when I wasn’t on watch I was able to get deeply enough to sleep that I felt somewhat rested the next morning.

Five miles down the road Scottsville was a pleasant surprise and we found we could have stayed the night in a local park set up for travelers. There were also bed and breakfast type places catering to the traveler.

“This is really strange,” I told Thor out of the corner of my mouth as we passed through the historic down town district. “I haven’t seen anything like this since we were out west.”

Thor was very tense. I suppose it was the number of people in one place but nothing happened despite or maybe because everyone, including the women, walked around openly armed to the teeth. We left the city and continued on to Cedar Springs and then right up to the bridge over Barren River Lake. There were some local officials enforcing a toll for crossing the bridge … several people ahead of us turned away grumbling to go around the lake but we paid the toll willingly. The officials made sure all of the crossings were well ordered and safe.

One of the toll masters heard me say so to Thor who said, “We’ve heard about some of the troubles other places had so a bunch of us got together to make sure it didn’t happen here. We fought off three attacks by some eco-terrorists but haven’t seen any for … guess it’s nearly two months now. We plan on shutting the bridge at the end of October, weather gets bad then and the bridge will ice over with little notice. You’re actually getting good weather. If I might make a suggestion?”

Thor nodded noncommittally.

“You seem a nice enough couple so I’ll tell you. My aunt and uncle run a tight ship over at the campground in the state park. They’ve got washing facilities and hot showers and they butchered a buffalo this morning and are having grilled steaks. There’s a fee for the night and for the meal but it ain’t bad, about like the toll. You could do worse for lodgings.”

Thor got directions from the man and we continued to the park’s entrance. “Thor, you aren’t really thinking of stopping are you?”

“When’s the last time you had steak?”

My mouth watered at the question. “That’s not the point.”

“Hon, consider this our honeymoon of sorts. I want to treat you to a steak dinner because who knows when we’ll ever get another one. I’ve got the metal to do it now and want to do it. Besides, the campground might be a good place to get some information on what lies ahead of us. Information out of the east has been little and hard to come by.” He gave me a wicked twinkle. “Now come on … you know you want to.”

I was left laughing as we turned down the road that would lead to the first hot shower I had had in a good long time.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 58

The campground looked like I remembered yet at the same time it didn’t. It was neat and tidy with each site having its own picnic table and fire ring. Some of the sites even have hand pumps and utility hook ups yet no RVs were in sight except for the one the campground hosts were living in. In fact there were no motorized vehicles in sight at all unless you counted a couple of solar charged golf carts whipping around faster than a man could jog.

I was deep into comparing my memories to the present and looking around but being careful when without warning two young kids ran out of the hedgerow and into the road and I had to pull on the reigns hard enough that my horse stood up in the traces. I hadn’t been going fast but you just don’t stop a large horse and a fully loaded wagon on a dime. Everything happened so quickly but I still remember everything in what my Dad called bright Technicolor. Thor rode quickly forward and grabbed the horse’s lead to calm and control him. I saw that the kids were nearly under the hooves of my horse and were screaming in fear. Thor kept pulling the lead of the poor thing to try and keep him forced up on his hind legs to give the kids a chance to move but they had frozen. I tied off and jumped down and ran to snatch the kids and felt the brush of a hoof against the back of my shoulder.

I was still bent over breathing through the bruising pain when Thor reached me though the kids had jerked away from me and run as soon as I had them safe. I looked up through watery eyes to see a couple of older boys had come to hold our horses and calm them while a man and woman jumped out of one of the golf carts beside us. I was thinking we were dead meat ‘cause we’d scared some of the local kids when I got an unexpected surprise.

“Oh my Dear, are you all right?!” the woman asked.

The man growled, “Of course she’s not all right Tess. When I get my hands on those two kids they aren’t going to be able to sit down for a week!”

Thor hadn’t said a word but I could see his jaw clinched tight and the sweat beaded above his lip on a face paler than normal. I patted his arm and told him, “It’s not bad, more the shock of it than anything. I’ll have a bruise but nothing’s broken.”

“You can’t know that,” he rumbled, brushing the hair from my face where I’d lost my bandana in the tussle with the kids.

I snickered a little bit at my memories making all three of them give me a careful look. “Hon, you sure you didn’t get kicked a little higher?”

I laughed a little harder jarring my arm. “Ow, stop making me laugh.” Thor’s surprised look told me he was getting more worried at my response, not less. “No, I didn’t get kicked in the head. I’ve just been kicked before. Dang ol’ mule at the fair. Someone set off a black cat a couple of stalls over from where I was brushing the tail of a horse that was about to be shown in the 4H competition and the nag blamed me for it. I was in a sling all spring.”

“Rochelle …”

“Seriously Thor, I’m fine. Let me up so I can shake this off.”

I stood up with his reluctant assistance and when I got fully upright the man and woman stared. The woman finally said, “Well my, aren’t you to a matched pair. Let’s get you to a site and take care of business so your man can fuss over you in private like he is obviously itching to.”

The older boys had the horses well in hand and Thor and I thanked them. As one rushed off after saying “no problem mister” the other remained there looking shamefaced. “I owe you more, sir. Those two little kids are my brother and sister. I’m real sorry for the trouble they caused you.”

Thor only rumbled but the man said, “Caleb I’ve cut your mom and dad all the slack I can. They’ve been warned to keep your siblings more under control and I know for a fact that those two are supposed to be at the school house … you too for that matter.”

“Yes sir, Mr. Paris. When I noticed they’d run off again I told the teacher and he gave me permission to go find them and haul them back.”

Mr. Paris sighed and shook his head. “I’d like another dozen like you son, and your oldest sister too, but your parents and other siblings …” He stopped, shaking his head. “It’s out of my hands now son.”

The boy was obviously scared but said, “Yes sir, I know.”

I watched him walking away, shoulders bowed under the weight of what I didn’t know, and felt bad for something that wasn’t even my fault. Thor must have noticed and worrying that I could be a soft touch about things like that quickly turned the conversation in a different direction. It was abrupt enough that I have him the eye to tell him I may have been a soft touch but I wasn’t stupid and would have kept my mouth shut. His look in turn told me, “yeah sure.” Our silent exchange was so quick the man and woman guiding us never noticed as we walked our animals and wagon to a secluded site that Mr. Paris had led us to.

“This should do for you. It’s been over two weeks since we’ve had horses on this site so the grass should be ready for cropping again. Hand pump works fine and the water is crystal clear but we still tell everyone to boil their water and to put it through a filter if you have it just to be on the safe side. Early on we had some folks get sick but we think it was from their lack of hygiene and bad food and not the water, but since you never can tell for sure we put the warning up anyway. A fire’s worth of wood comes with the sight. The facilities still work but you’re expected to clean up after yourself and Tess will give you what for if you don’t. Showers are on the other side of that building. You’ll get five gallons of hot water and five gallons of cold water each – both of which have already been through the boiling process. How you use ‘em is up to you but that’s all you get. Dinner’s in an hour and a half and I’d be pleased if you’d sit with our family to make up for the trouble you’ve had.”

I just sort of leaned against the picnic table, listening but not really participating in the book of do’s and don’ts that the Paris couple was throwing at us. When they were finished Thor took care of the payment then insisted on setting up the tent so that he could look at my shoulder while still giving me some privacy.

“It’s already bruising,” he growled.

“It’ll get uglier before it gets better and we both know it. Give me a couple of those Tylenol and tonight before bed I’ll make some cowslip tea; I don’t like to drink it on an empty stomach.”

Thor shook his head, “You and your teas. Some of that stuff you’ve had me drink …” He shuddered comically but it let me know that his temper was back under control. I worried for a while that he was gonna go after the kids and take care of what Mr. Paris threatened to do to them. Thor was OK with little kids but, from bitter experience when he was off doing whatever it was he did as a job, he knew that even young children could be as dangerous as feral dogs and handled them accordingly.

We then took turns taking our showers which did as much for my shoulder as the Tylenol had. Afterwards we had a good laugh at ourselves. When he came back to camp after using the facilities Thor said, “I feel about ten pounds lighter and three shades brighter.”

I chuckled at his tomfoolery and told him, “I’d forgotten what color my hair was under all that gray dust. My feet were so muddy by the time I washed off I had to step out of the shower to finish getting clean.”

We both pulled out some of the last clean clothes that we had and I knew that on our next rest day, if at all possible, I was going to have to do some laundry. I was dreading having to go to bed in dirty linens but there wasn’t any alternative and before that we had dinner to face.

I was tired and sore and my stomach was rubbing on my backbone but we had priorities that came first. “Is it safe to leave everything like this?” I asked worriedly.

“We’ll take the horses and …”

A shuffling in the leaves on the road told us someone was coming. We looked up and saw the boy Caleb. “Um … mister? Mr. Paris said that if you want I can watch things for you while you go grab some food. We never have any trouble around here … the militia makes camp here at night so people leave us alone … but I’ll groom your horses while you’re gone if you want and if they’ll let me.”

Thor gave Caleb a thorough once over. “Boy … Caleb … if we come back and find out any of our gear is gone or has been tampered with …”

“Oh no sir. Mr. Paris would have our heads if we did that. See he’s got a reputation and he aims to keep it so that the business will be here next season. That’s the rules … and you don’t break the rules around here if you want to stay.” The last phrase was said quietly and sadly.

I couldn’t help myself and I could tell Thor was thinking of pinching me when I asked, “Trouble at home?”

The boy looked at me startled. “Don’t have a home no more. We used to live in Atlanta but we had to run from that place. It got bad real quick … the gangs and stuff. My grandmother is the one that got us out of there and when we found this place she helped start up the kitchen. But she had the blood pressure real bad and … and before the militia got everything under control there was an attack from some bad people and … and she died. They let us stay on and my sister Keisha and I like it, my folks not so much because …”

“I can guess. Some people just have problems with rules and stuff like that,” I told him trying to give him a polite out.

He sighed, “Yeah. Anyway, you better go or you’ll miss the salad and Mr. Paris and Aunt Tess are expecting you.”

Thor gave the boy another look to put him on notice and then we started walking, following the directions we’d been given earlier. Thor was saying a whole lot of nothing and to forestall any more nothing I told him, “Yeah, I know. You think I’m a sucker. I wasn’t offering to do anything for the kid I just felt the need to know his story.”

“Fine but take it with a grain of salt until you get corroborating evidence,” he muttered.

“I’m not stupid.”

He sighed and then stopped me and turned me towards him being careful of my shoulder. “I wish you would stop saying that. I don’t think you are stupid at all. Soft hearted, yes. Stupid, no.”

I smiled and stood on tip toe and kissed his cheek. “I know that. It’s just a saying Thor.”

“Yeah well …” Now it was his turn to look uncomfortable. “Just … don’t say it so much then. It bothers me. I don’t want you to start thinking that I think you’re stupid.”

I looked at him and wanted to hold his hand as we walked but I knew that it was safer since I had a bum shoulder for a bit for him to have both hands free in case he needed to pull his gun. “Thor, you make me feel smarter than just about the whole world put together except for my parents who always gave me credit for having sense … and called me on it when I didn’t act like I had any. Don’t take this wrong but aren’t you being just a little … um … sensitive about it? Like I said, it’s just an old saying.”

“Old saying or not I don’t like it. My mom’s dad …” He stopped, still not inclined to talk about that part of his life much.

“Oh. Well then if that’s the case I’ll try and be more careful. But Thor, I don’t think you are anything like the way you’ve described that mean old man. Just because you’re big like him and you might have had the same coloring as him. And just because you might have a hot temper on occasion … that doesn’t mean that you’re like him. You’re mom just had problems that she couldn’t seem to, or didn’t want to bad enough, dig herself out of … stuff she’d had since even before you’re dad and then you came along. We’ve all got baggage we carry around with us, your mom just had better than average reason for it. Now, if you want to talk about a hot temper, I’ve got a couple of cousins that have you beat hands down every day of the week. One of ‘em got so hot so fast that he was literally spitting and foaming at the mouth while he was fighting this guy and when the cops got there they put one of them mouth guard things on him as he was transported to the hospital – he wasn’t through being angry and kept on acting crazy even after the fight was over – and then he was stuck in the hospital while they tested him for rabies.”

Thor just looked at me before asking incredulously, “Is that another one of your tall tales?”

“If I’m lying I’m dying. This was down in Florida and they Baker Acted him – threw him in the state hospital at Chattahoochee for three days until he cooled down. I warned you a while back that I’ve got some crazies running around in my family Thor … but it’s too late for you. I’ve got you now and I’m not letting go,” I told him as I stepped in front of him and got his attention real good.

“Play fair Rochelle,” was all he said mildly but since he said it with a rather goofy male smile I knew that any “danger” was over with. Thor wasn’t often touchy about things – he had amazingly thick skin about things that would have sent me over the falls in a barrel with no life preserver – but every so often I’d run up against something and when I did I wanted to make sure that he knew I was paying attention so that it wouldn’t happen again … or at least not happen any more often than I could help.

It wasn’t all one sided either. It was taking us time, but he was just as apt to smooth my feathers as I was to smooth his. We were learning how to have a real relationship and not just one based on how hot we could make each other; not just one based on adrenaline and necessity either.

We walked into the outdoor dining hall area in good spirits, the smell of grilled meat drawing us as fast as our feet could carry us. My eyes widened and my mouth started watering as soon as I saw the trestle tables of food.

Tess Paris saw us and called us over, “You’ll sit with us won’t you?” At Thor’s nod she said, “Oh good, I’m so glad. And how’s your shoulder?”

An older man nearby said, “Shoulder? Whose shoulder and why are you asking how it is?”

Tess smiled even as she looked at us and rolled her eyes. “Now Doc …”

“Don’t you now Doc me young lady,” which was very funny considering Tess was every bit of a woman pushing sixty which told you just how old Doc himself was. “I heard someone had gotten kicked by a horse.”

The man’s eyebrows were so white and bushy they reminded me of cotton boles but he wore a knit cap on his head because that hair was so thin his shiny scalp showed through. I smiled down at the stooped old man and said, “It’s fine. It was a brush and not a solid kick or more than likely you’d have had to set the shoulder. Thank you for your concern though.”

“Hmmm. A southern belle by your accent and manners … and one raised right or I miss my mark.” He looked at me with piercing eyes that didn’t reflect his age at all. “I would appreciate if you would allow me to look at the shoulder after you’ve finished this excellent meal that Mrs. Paris has prepared for us all.”

Tess blushed and told him, “Oh Doc, you know good and well I only oversee things … that others do the cooking.”

He finally took his eyes from me and smiled at her, making her blush even brighter, “Be that as it may, without your supervision a great many things would not occur around this place. And speaking of which, you must remember not to let yourself get run down again my dear. Several of the younger children are experiencing some kind of respiratory ailment and that is something that you do not need to contract yet again.”

Mr. Paris chose that moment to come up and ask, “Are you flirting with my wife again?” His mock outrage was pretty comical.

Doc could give as good as he got and asked, “And what if I am?”

“Well, I’d say you had good taste that’s what.”

Tess rolled her eyes but only blushed that much harder and said, “Would you two behave. Thor and Rochelle are going to think you’ve lost your minds.”

But Thor and I were smiling so she only shook her head and told us all to sit down so everyone could start eating. After sitting I was rather impressed to find that Doc stood up and offering a prayer before the food was actually served.

Tess said, “We used to do it buffet style but we found some were getting far more than their share. Now the food is served and we’re careful to measure out equal portions for everyone. Tonight’s a good night. Usually we have a soup or stew over a grain or rice. Tonight we are actually having what amounts to a banquet. We had to kill a buffalo that started charging the golf carts for some reason; we couldn’t ignore him anymore and since the freezers and smoke house are already full to bursting we have to eat him up fresh. The migration is slowing down as well as people are trying to hunker in place and get ready for winter so there aren’t as many people here as there’ve been in the past few months. Use to be nearly every site was filled, now we’re lucky to have them half full. We’re an east/west route, most of the remaining migration is heading south.”

Thor asked, “Where do you come by your information?”

“My husband’s nephew is in the local militia and works on the bridge and lake patrol and lets us know what the general trends are.”

I nodded and Thor said, “Actually, I believe he may have been the one to recommend this place as a stopover.”

“He’s a good boy. Just wish we could convince him to settle down a bit. The winter is going to be lonely and hard for him at his parents’ place with them gone now. How is your salad?”

I told her, “Delicious. What’s this dressing?”

“It’s a vinaigrette; an old family recipe. We used to have more variety but …” She shrugged and there wasn’t more to be said. If you couldn’t make it yourself it was pretty much gone, likely never to be seen again for a long time if ever.

After the salad came the steak and vegetables … chunks of seasoned potatoes, green beans and corn on the cob, and some pickled beets which are some of my favorite foods … and it was one of the best things I’d ever put in my mouth even though I’d never tasted buffalo before. “Where did the buffalo come from?”

Mr. Paris answered, “There is a really large herd, or was, at Kentucky Lake and then all those out west though I’ve heard that starving people have taken to just going after those like any other big game. Around here there was a trend to breeding them with cows to make beefalo though it was reduced to a hobby during the droughts. They are mostly animals of the flat plains but we got some that are beginning to show up in the foothills like that one that took a dislike to the golf carts. Stupid thing. I’d have left him to be fruitful and multiply but when you have a large freight train baring down on you, it’s no longer the time to be nice. We can’t afford to lose any of the carts either.”

After the main course there was a bowl of apple cobbler with a dollop of real cream on top. I don’t get full to bursting very often but that night I could have gone to sleep right in my chair and been mighty happy.

Thor and I were about to walk back to our camp – I’d already found out that a dinner pail had been sent out to Caleb so I didn’t have to worry about that – when Doc reminded us that he wanted a word. I sighed at the look on Thor’s face because it told me not to even think about trying to wiggle out of it.

Doc’s place was actually one of the cabins near the parking lot and the small front room doubled as his “office.” After a perfunctory exam he agreed with my assessment though he did caution me to be careful of lifting anything for about a week or two until the muscle had a chance to repair itself. “And you’ll need to pick a different side to sleep on if you want to be able to move in the morning.”

“Yes sir,” I told him while I finished buttoning up. Thor had been there the whole time and I was a little embarrassed. That got a raised bushy eyebrow from Doc but he didn’t comment on it.

“Now,” he said. “The real reason I asked you to come see me.” Thor didn’t stiffen even though I did. Apparently he’d suspected what I hadn’t. “You’re a GWB.”

I jumped to my feet and went to stand by Thor suddenly not knowing what to make of the situation. Thor asked, “And if she is?”

Instead of a direct answer he said, “Never had any children myself. My sisters had enough to populate the state and I didn’t figure they needed my help any. I was rather fond of a couple of my nieces and nephews however and was rather proud when some of them entered the medical profession. One of my nieces was a researcher and her specialty was genetic anomalies. She wrote several papers on the subject, not a few of them on how society in general tended to fear the different they could see more than the different they couldn’t see and how that affected patient treatment. She had a great deal of sympathy having been born with a cleft pallet.”

He looked me up and down. “We used to have long discussions on the subject and over the years she told me of the pleasures she’d had interviewing several of the GWB children and observing them unnoticed. She was also outspoken in her dislike of the eco-terrorists that continued to persecute your group.”

I asked, “What’s her name? Maybe I remember her.”

“It doesn’t matter now. Three years ago they blew up her office after she spoke to Congress quite eloquently on how some of the laws that were in the pipeline were thinly disguised attempts by certain groups to deny the Constitutional rights of people who were born different.”

My heart fell to my feet. “Oh. Doctor Muriel Jackson was your niece?”

I’d surprised him. “You knew her?”

“I met her a couple of times. My parents really didn’t go in for all of that publicity stuff though so they never wanted me to participate in her studies. They tried to give me as normal a childhood as possible. My … my friend Jonathon and his family knew her quite well though. The Marshalls sponsored some of her work.”

“Ah, that explains it. So my Dear, how are you doing? Really doing? I heard of San Francisco of course.”

Thor and I gave him an edited version of my life since then. If he noticed that there were gaps in our story he didn’t seem to mind. “Well my dear, I would like to offer a warning if I may. I would continue keeping your … condition … quiet. You are certainly no longer built quite as you were before.” He laughed humorously. “None of us are. Circumstances dictate a differently lifestyle, certainly one less sedentary and less full of fatty commercial food products, than was seen in the last couple of generations. That said, you will always stand out and you appear to understand that. Having a gentleman that stands out at least as much at your side will make people less inclined to be suspicious but that doesn’t mean that some won’t be.”

“Be suspicious of what?” Thor asked as if he understood that Doc was finally getting down to it.

“As Tess mentioned, we do get news though some of it is old by the time we get it. However, that doesn’t mean that it isn’t useful. There are still active cells of eco-terrorists involved in the Green War. You’ve seen that for yourself obviously. They are not as interconnected as they once were, and they’ve lost any technological advantage they once held, but that doesn’t make them any less dangerous; they are deranged and dangerous people. Most of them remain in the west and northeast from what we hear but do not take anything for granted. I would be particularly careful the closer you get to your home. It would have been a known target and there may still be some of those people in the area.”

I turned away from Thor and Doc and looked out the window and off into nothing. Every time I thought I could completely put that part of my life behind me it came roaring back. Thor and Doc talked quietly between themselves while I looked out into the fading light.

Doc got my attention by saying, “I’m sorry to be the barer of such poor news child.”

I shook my head, “It’s not your fault. And honestly, I’d rather know than not. Better to be aware of the possibilities than to completely walk into something blind.”

We took our leave and finally got going back to our campsite.

“You OK Hon?”

“I will be. This doesn’t change your mind does it? About the farm?”

He shook his head, “No. Definitely not. It does mean that we need to make a real effort to use as many of the less travelled roads as possible. It is even more important for us to avoid the cities as well.”

“Yeah.”

We walked back to camp, thanked Caleb who the quickly scampered off home before full dark came. “Who’s the sucker now?” I asked Thor having seen his sleight of hand and the two silver coins he’d passed the boy.

He ignored my jab and said, “Paris said his family would definitely be evicted by the end of the week. The committee that provides what little governance that goes on around here had already given them three warnings but they met and agreed to offer to let Caleb and his older sister stay if someone would sponsor them. The Paris’s have agreed but only if the kids want it; they won’t force them to stay against their will.”

“But?”

“Caleb’s old man had done time and his mom … don’t even ask what she used to do for a … er … living. There are eight kids. Caleb and his sister are the only two that act like they are worth something, the rest apparently aren’t worth a plug nickel. Paris tried to reward their initiative but the parents took every little bit the kids brought in for themselves.”

“Then why give him silver?”

“He can use it however he wants, even as a way to buy his ol’ man off if need be though I doubt it will come to that. I met a few of those council men on my side of the table. They aren’t bad but they’ll be as hard as necessary and if the kids want to stay the parents won’t have a whole lot to say about it. The family will be turned over to the militia and they’ll be duck walked as far away as necessary and put on a watch list.”

“Harsh,” I said.

“Necessary,” Thor rebutted.

I fixed myself a cup of cowslip tea for my throbbing shoulder that had begun to dampen the pleasure of the day and then got ready for bed. Thor banked the fire so I’d have something to cook over in the morning and after securing the horses and wagon more time crawled into then tent with me.

“It’s going to be OK, Hon. I won’t let those !@#$%&!@ anywhere near you.”

I gave him a slight smile in the dark, a little drowsy from the tea and good food. “I know. It’s not that, not really.”

“Then what is it?”

I wasn’t sure how to say it. “It seems like I can’t escape the past. Some of it I don’t want to and that’s fine but some of it … some of it I’d just as soon never have to hear about or think about ever again.”

Thor kissed me and said, “I know that feeling. But Hon, think of it like this … your past is what in part at least made you who you are today. Without that past you’d be a completely different person. And we may never have met, never have fallen in love. Would you risk changing that to lose your past?”

I hugged him, “Not when you put it like that, not for all the tea in China. I just wish … wish that my past wouldn’t drag you down with me.”

“You don’t drag me down. I feel lighter than I have in a long time.”

I chuckled, “That’s just the shower you took.”

He snorted, “Hmmm. Funny. But I’m serious. We’ll get through this Ro-chelle. Just like we’ve gotten through everything else. Now let’s get some sleep. Tomorrow is a long day and I have a feeling that it isn’t going to be a pleasant for you and that shoulder.”

Thor insisted on rolling one of our blankets and putting it like a bumper so that I couldn’t easily turn over onto my back in my sleep. I felt silly but at the same time grateful for his attention. As I finally began to relax enough to doze I prayed that we were up for whatever challenges lay ahead of us in the coming days.
 

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 59

The next morning was a glorious morning but I felt anything but. First thing I got a real good look at as my eyes cleared was a large hand with two little capsules in it and another equally large hand holding a steaming cup of tea.

“I love you. I adore you.” I took the Tylenol and washed them down with the tea, not caring how hot it was. “First chance I get I’ll prove it by ravishing your body.”

Thor’s deep chuckle tickled my ears and my insides. “Hold onto that thought Hon, we’ve got a lot of miles to cover today. I’ve managed to shave a few miles off the route but we are still going to need to do twenty if we are to make it to Sulphur Lick.”

I looked at him and asked, “Sulphur Lick? I know that name. Why do I know that name?”

“It was one of the possible routes we discussed,” he answered.

“No. I know it from something else.” The fog was slowly clearing. “Oh good gravy, I remember now. The van broke down there. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a tire shop open in those parts on Sunday? Everyone wanted to know why we weren’t in church?” I chuckled a little but it wasn’t a nice laugh.

“Humph, something tells me it wasn’t funny even if you are laughing,” Thor said as we started breaking the last of the camp down and stowing it in the wagon.

“Actually the people in the area were really nice but there was some kind of travelling revival group that overheard what I was from some of the other kids and seemed to think that I needed to prove I wasn’t a demon or something similar. They were praying in a group off to the side. I hate to be embarrassed and I didn’t handle it too cool.”

Thor’s raised eyebrow encouraged me to finish the story. Embarrassed I nevertheless complied. “They kept praying for my soul and I finally had enough and told them that my soul was none of their business and that it belonged to God and not to them thank you very much and then walked off in a huff to the lady’s room at the stop-n-shop and slammed the door so hard you could have probably heard it in Tompkinsville.”

“Sounds like you showed some restraint to me,” he said grunting as he tied the last thing in place and I took the biscuits and baked apples off the coals where he’d left them to cook.

“I was fourteen at the time and Dad wasn’t too happy.”

“Why?!” Thor wanted to know.

“Oh, it wasn’t because I’d gotten upset so much as how I’d handled it. You have to understand that sort of thing … well, not that exactly but similarly stupid stuff … happened pretty regularly. I normally handled it much better if I wasn’t able to out and out ignore whoever was making a donkey’s behind of themselves. I also broke some cardinal scouting rules, one of which is you go nowhere without a buddy; and some of the Scout Laws too. As the crew leader he couldn’t show me any favoritism so I got KP that whole week.” I sighed. “I deserved it. It wasn’t what they’d said so much as the fact that I was irritable about a few other things that had happened on that trip and when the adults started talking at me without Dad or one of the other adults from our crew being there I should have gone straight to them instead of trying to handle it myself. Basically I’d never given the adults a chance to step in during a situation that was more appropriate for them to handle. I didn’t do anything but make it worse and I was wearing my Venture uniform at the time too.”

Thor shook his head. “I suppose. If I’d been there …”

I did laugh at that. “If you’d been there my dad would probably have locked me in the house until I turned forty-two. You have rascal written all over you.” The Tylenol had started to work so as I stepped into his arms I didn’t even wince as I tilted my head for a kiss.

“You’re starting to get a little mischievous Ms. Charbonneau. Now behave and stop distracting me or we’ll never get out of here.”

I laughed again but did as he asked and reminded myself not to be a tease no matter how fun it was. It wasn’t fair to hold Thor to his promise if I was going to intentionally make it hard on him. We finished eating and the last of the cooking gear was cool enough to pack away after Thor hitched the horse to the wagon and put the saddle on his. That’s when I got my first inkling of how rough the day was going to be.

I reached up and grabbed the wagon seat to pull myself up without thinking and nearly wound up on the red clay dust of the ground.

“Hon?!”

“Blast it!” I gasped. “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”

“Hey now,” he said.

I looked at him and said, “Well what would you call it? I completely forgot having to favor my shoulder. Dumb mistake.” As soon as I got my breath I said, “Give me a boost?”

“You sure you’re fit for this?” he asked with some concern.

“Yeah. We may need to stop at lunch and let me fix some more cowslip tea … the extra biscuits you made will at least give me something to have on my stomach for that … and tomorrow might be a little rough but I’ll make it assuming we don’t run into any trouble.”

“If you get feeling bad you let me know. We don’t absolutely have to make it to Sulphur Lick today. We aren’t exactly on a must do schedule.”

“I know,” I said. “But we both know we need to get while the getting is good.”

He nodded his head and after one last look around camp he mounted his trusty steed and we headed towards the park entrance. We said goodbye to Mr. Paris and Tess and Doc hobbled over and in the act of reaching up and shaking my hand goodbye passed me a small packet.”

In a tired voice he told me, “Take them for I have an idea you’ll welcome them tonight and tomorrow. Take one and if it isn’t strong enough take another. If one winds up more than enough then split the next one in half.” When I tried to object he said, “Take them in remembrance of my niece. It’s given me a chance to honor her memory in a way I hadn’t before.” With another sigh he added, “And my arthritis is telling me we’ve got some cooler and damper weather on the way. If it doesn’t slow you down you’ll still be sore enough to make it unpleasant.”

And with that he turned a walked away. We finally got going and headed southeast following 87. After a few miles I finally settled so that I could bounce with the wagon rather than against it.

“You OK?” Thor asked.

“Fine. Just getting the rhythm of things,” I told him.

He nodded and we didn’t talk for a while as we both had to navigate an increasingly busy rode. I asked Thor, “What’s with all the traffic? I thought we’d be able to avoid this.”

“As soon as we get to 678 and turn off it will get better. They said all of the roads south were busy and so they are.”

We did get to 678 and when we turned off the traffic was noticeably less and then gradually faded to nothing. Thor relaxed and before long we were both in better moods though I was grateful to stop for lunch when we did. As soon as the tea started to work I was able to relax even more. Thor surprised me by saying out of the blue, “I wouldn’t have minded having a boy like Caleb along.”

“No?”

“No. We’d often have a couple of boys trailing the crew willing to help out for a little attention of a few pennies though Caleb was a little older than those boys were.”

“He wouldn’t have wanted to leave his sister I don’t think.”

“No and we might be able to stretch our supplies for one but not for two. Plus I just didn’t want trouble from their parents and you know there would have been some.”

I nodded and sighed. “I hope they find their way. I expect there are a lot of kids like that out there.” My memories of the kids now in Delia’s care were a little sharp. I never regretted that they had taken to her but part of me still managed to be a little jealous when I wasn’t thinking logically.

After lunch we continued on the road that angled northeast and finally, after dark, found an old and abandoned barn to sleep in for the night. The hay that was left had an unpleasant sour smell to it and we tied the horses so they wouldn’t be tempted to test their luck.

The next morning was considerably cooler than any we’d experienced but still within normal range though I could tell that Thor was suffering for lack of a heavier coat. I had an idea how to temporarily address the problem but it required destroying of our blankets.

When I told Thor he laughed, “Actually it isn’t a bad idea at that though I’m not too find of ponchos. When you cut it just make sure I’ve got full movement for a rifle. And don’t even think about putting any fringe on it.”

I promised no fringe and then we headed off into the damp and foggy morning, turning north again towards a town called Beaumont. We didn’t make it that far having misjudged the distance and we had to stay in a little town called Waterview. It was a little town that if you blinked you would have missed it but it seemed to be the gateway towards Burkesville and I could feel the elevation increasing. The road map said it was a scenic byway and I could believe it though I was so sore and tired that night that I couldn’t really admire it.

It was a bad night for both Thor and I. Despite the pills that Doc had given me I hurt so bad I was sick to my stomach and could barely eat the dinner I fixed. Thor offered to cook but pride wouldn’t let me let him do it since he was already doing just about everything else including dealing with the cranky and tired ponies.

At midnight Thor made me take the last two pills just so I would sleep and sleep I most definitely finally did. The next thing I remember was light in my face and a tremendous need to find some privacy so I could take care of the call of nature. The problem was when I tried to roll over my shoulder just about made me have an accident right then and there.

“Thor!”

I didn’t mean to but I must have freaked him out a bit because he practically tore the tent down getting to me.

“Rochelle?!”

“Oh geez Thor, just help me up and then get out of my way,” I cried in embarrassment.

When I was finished I didn’t want to come out of the bushes. I really wanted to slink away and bury myself. “Hon?” I heard him call.

“Don’t Thor. Please. I … I …”

“Rochelle if you don’t come out right now I’m coming in.”

I reluctantly left the bushes. I expected Thor to make some sarcastic or over the top male type remark. Instead he said, “You all right?”

I mumbled, “Yeah.”

“Rochelle … Hon …”

“Don’t laugh. I think I’ll just about die if you do,” I told him feeling like a complete fool.

He shook his head and slowly and carefully came all the way up to me and rubbed my good shoulder. “Do I look like I’m laughing? Obviously you’ve never woke up after a three day drunk and realized that nature will have its way whether you expect it to or not. Or gotten blown up and been stuck in bed with nothing but a bunch of unsympathetic nurses that don’t speak English and in fact were probably kin to the Marquis de Sade.”

“Huh?” His references were flying way over my head.

He laughed quietly, shook his head and then said, “Never mind. I just mean I’ve been there Hon, that’s all. And please don’t be embarrassed about it. You’ve seen me when I was in pretty bad shape.”

“That was different. You were really injured.”

He snorted, “That’s not the point. The fact is really injured or not you saw me when I wasn’t capable of taking care of all my own … er … needs. We’re supposed to be able to take care of each other and sometimes that is going to be delving into the extremely personal and private side of things.”

I wasn’t sure I even wanted to think about it but I was just about too weak to do much more than teeter. “Whoa!” Thor said as I nearly toppled. “What’s all this?”

Unable to open my eyes without feeling like I was going to puke because things were spinning I said, “Sometimes … sometimes I react to meds funny. Two pills might have been half a pill too much.”

“Maybe … or maybe it’s the pills, not eating, and that tea you’ve been drinking so much of. I’m thinking if you were taking the pills maybe you should have laid off the tea. Come on and lay back down.”

“Gotta get up. We’ve got …”

“Hon, in the condition you’re in right now we ain’t gotta anything. If I fix you a place in the wagon you think you can ride there and finish sleeping this off? There’s no fresh water around here and if you’re gonna be sick I’d rather have some so you could at least clean up with.”

I groaned at the very idea of the swaying of the wagon but knew that Thor wouldn’t have mentioned it if he didn’t think it was important. “Sure. Sure … I’ll …” Only I forgot what I had meant to say.

“Ohhhh Kaaaay, you sit right here. Don’t try and move and let me get things situated.”

I don’t even remember climbing into the wagon. The swaying would wake me up every so often as I began to be able to string two thoughts together successfully and I realized he must have attached the horses as a team. Nobody liked it … not horse nor man … and I listened to all three curse at each other and complain most of the rest of the day.

I was semi conscious by the time we got to this place called Snow that wasn’t too far from one of the fingers of Lake Cumberland but Thor wouldn’t let me do anything but drink some broth and crawl in bed and go back to sleep. I woke up the next morning in just about the same physical condition, scrambling out of the tent and waking Thor in the process but not caring in the least I was in such a hurry.

“Feeling better?”

“Yes,” I told him only slightly less embarrassed that the previous day. “At least my brain doesn’t feel like a plate of fried mush. I missed everything.” I didn’t mean to sound petulant but even I could hear it in my voice.

“Not everything,” Thor assured me. “Think you are up to driving the wagon today? Your shoulder better?”

“Better yes, but don’t ask me to move too fast. I still feel like I’ve got my feet stuck in cold molasses even if my brain is warming up.”

“Good, I don’t think the horses could take another day of their togetherness. So long as they aren’t harnessed together they are best friends but put them in the traces together and they act like a Shiite and Sunni fighting over the Order of Succession.”

I snorted since he knew I understood just how outrageous he was being. “That’s bad all right.” I sighed and the said, “I’m sorry I was so out of it Thor. It hasn’t been fair to you at all.”

“Who cares about fair? I’m just glad you’re better. It was my idea for you to take both of those pills at one time.” And I could see from his face that he really did feel bad about that.

“Don’t Thor. I’m a big girl and could have said no. But from here on out I think I’ll just stick with my teas and my Tylenol if you don’t mind.”

He kissed the top of my head and as dawn finally broke we had a quick breakfast and then packed up yet again to move on. I was putting some on relatively cleaner clothes since I’d been wearing the ones I was in for over twenty-four hours straight and asked, “What was the road like yesterday? I was awake off and on but never long enough for it to make much of an impression on me except for the quiet. Reminded me of some of those roads out west.”

Thor nodded, “And you’d be about right. I saw two riders yesterday and both kept their distance. There may have been some foot traffic in the area but not on 90. Burkesville was a ghost town though you could tell it had been ransacked. Had to backtrack to get around some junk that had been thrown in the road. I saw evidence of a few fires but nothing beyond the usual and mild. Beyond that there is much to tell.”

I asked, “What about today? From Snow where did you want to head?”

“I’d like to try to make Monticello by night if not before. It’s a bigger place than I wanted to stay but we can’t avoid them all. I’d like to have someone look at your shoulder.”

“Thor,” I said not the least bit amused.

“Don’t Thor me woman. A quarter of your back looks like the spreading sunrise.”

“That’s just because … you know how bad bruises do. They just sort of spread as the body tries to reabsorb everything. It hurts a lot less. And so long as I move slow I’ve got full rotation of the shoulder.”

I was demonstrating that very thing when he said, “Button them buttons and stop trying to distract me. If we run across any medico or the like I’m going to have my way and that’s final.”

I very nearly stuck my tongue out at him when he walked away leaving me to finish “buttoning them buttons” but I thought better of it when he gave me the eye like he knew exactly what I was thinking. Climbing into the wagon was a lot easier than it had been for days and I munched a couple of apples through the morning which seemed to make me feel even better. I guess part of my problem had been lack of food on my stomach.

The road was a glorious drive through the Cumberland Mountains and I told Thor he was getting a preview of what he was going to see the closer we got to the farm. That day was as uneventful as the next and it was like God was giving us a reprieve after all the troubled we’d had day in and day out for a while.

There were people in Monticello – we could see bonfires here and there from our vantage point inside one of the old building that lines the turn offs to Lake Cumberland – but we didn’t appear to have anything to worry about. Thor said he even saw a couple getting water from the same stream as him but no one did anything more than nod to each other before heading back to their respective camps.

“That’s … that’s weird.”

“Why?” Thor wanted to know.

“People … I don’t know … usually like to talk.”

He shrugged, “Might be that folks are too tired to talk or they’re just talked out. Now why don’t you come here and let me look at that bruise again.”

Something in his voice had me looking at him closely while I stirred our pot of soup. “Hmmm. I don’t think it’s the bruise you are wanting to get a look at so I’ll stay right here but thank you kindly.”

“Aw now, no need to be like that,” he said in completely false brokenheartedness.

I nearly snorted a laugh into the soup pot. “You’re in a good mood all of a sudden.”

He leaned back obviously having never been too serious about looking to begin with. But his next words were. “Just glad to see you’re feeling better Hon. Didn’t realize how much I would miss your chatter … or even getting you to talk to me at all. Don’t do it again, I nearly went into a decline.”

I shook my head, “You’re too big to go into a decline. Here,” I said handing him a bowl. “It’s hot so blow on it this time and you won’t take the hair off your tongue.”

“Then stop cooking so good and I won’t feel the need to rush a bite to my mouth.”

All I could do was shake my head and hand him a canteen to put the fire in his mouth out when he did it anyway despite my warnings to the contrary. That night I think we both finally fell asleep wishing the miles away until we could reach the farm.
 

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 60

Monticello, Kentucky was one of the biggest cities we’d been through in a while. Their green population sign said nearly six thousand people lived there. Another sign said it was the houseboat manufacturing capital of the world. Despite both of those things said there was nowhere near that number of people from what we could see. There were people there and that’s a fact, but not six thousand of them. And the people we did see tended to keep to themselves. Not what you would call unfriendly but definitely not looking to make our acquaintance either.

We did get a nod from a couple of older men that looked like they were walking to a local fishing site but that didn’t come until after I had chased a piece of litter that was blowing down the road. Habit for me I suppose – always leaving a place cleaner than you find it – but I guess it meant something to those men because the nods were of approval. It made me want to make double sure that we cleaned up our camp before heading out.

We seemed to be the only ones on the road until the tolling of a bell reminded me it was Sunday. “Thor, let’s get out of here.”

He looked at me and asked, “What’s got you spooked?”

“Nothing … well, not exactly. I just don’t want to have any run ins with folks who might be on their way to church.”

He looked at me harder and said, “I thought you liked all of that stuff.”

“It isn’t ‘that stuff’ and I do like it but not knowing how the people are that are left I’d rather not risk any kind of confrontation in case we are breaking some local rules.”

Thor reminded me, “We just saw two men going fishing. I don’t think they string you up around here for missing a church meeting.”

I shrugged. “Maybe not but I’ve just got the heebie jeebies a bit so humor me and let’s head on out, OK?”

I couldn’t explain myself too well to Thor. I was pretty sure it didn’t have anything to do with us not having a piece of paper to prove we were committed but it could have had something to do with the run in I’d had with those travelling revivalists years before. Either way I thought I’d rather be safe than sorry and avoid the locals. Doc must have spooked me more than I wanted to admit.

We took this little road called 92 out of Monticello and headed east-southeast and around lunch time we passed through this dead little town called Coopersville. It was a place that had seen something but I’m not quite sure what. The intersection that made up the town was full of saw horses and the remains of equipment with the US federal government insignia on them.

“What do you think happened here? I don’t think we’ve seen anything like this.” I asked Thor.

Thor was keeping a close eye out. “Don’t touch anything. Don’t let the horses drink the water or chew on anything. Let’s pass on through as quick as possible.”

I did as he asked and he didn’t relax until we got to the other side of the town and away for a bit. “Thor?”

“The Feds should have come back for their equipment. Local salvagers should have taken the equipment even if the Feds forgot to get it. What it was doing just laying there piled up like that with not a soul in sight is beyond me Hon; just no sense in taking any chances. It is awful quiet down through here, quiet in a way that doesn’t feel natural.”

“Hmm, it is quiet but there are places in the mountains that feel like this. I always just put it down to the ghosts of time.”

That got a cough of unexpected laughter from him. “What?!”

“Don’t laugh. People where I’m from are a superstition bunch but we aren’t that backwards. Ghosts of time is just … I don’t know how to explain it exactly. Haven’t you ever been to some house that is just really, really old … or maybe to a battle field or some other historic place … and get this … this feeling? Like if you just unfocused your eyes a little and listened really, really good you could hear the past, maybe see something that went on before?”

I expected him to laugh again but he didn’t. “There are places over in the Middle East that …” He stopped for a moment thinking. “You ever known anyone that visited Jerusalem?”

“We had someone come speak at the church once that had. He and his wife did a Power Point show for the youth group. They talked about how it felt to walk in some of the same places Jesus would have walked.”

Thor nodded. “Jerusalem can be a dangerous place and we were running guard duty for some visiting dignitaries but we had a lot of down time and I played tourist. There is a feeling to those places. I’ve been to Baghdad, Ephesus, Cairo, lots of places like that. I never wanted to call them haunted but they do seem to exude something. If you want to call it the ghosts of time then … then I guess that’s good enough. I just don’t think this quiet is that kind of quiet. Sure, there is an underlying natural silence to this area but there’s something else here. Can’t you feel it?”

I don’t know whether I was being susceptible or not but I did start to feel like we were being watched. It wasn’t until we entered the Daniel Boone National Forest that the feeling began to subside.

“What was that?” I asked Thor quietly as we made camp off the highway near a little town called Yamacraw.

“Somebody interested in who we were or who would have encouraged us to move along if we had thought of staying.”

“Well aren’t you all calm and junk,” I said a little snarkily.

He smiled at me which only irritated me more. “If they’d meant to hurt us Hon they would have done more than watch from a distance. Hand me that line.”

I handed him the rope to secure the tent and said, “I’m not a coward Thor.”

He gave me an incredulous look, “I never said you were. But I also know you don’t like strangers looking at you and that is part of your reaction to what was happening. I don’t get a feeling that we’re still being watched so try and relax.”

“Relax he says,” came out of my mouth with a huge eye roll.

Thor had finished the last few things that needed to be done to finish securing our camp and I’d finished cleaning the last dish from dinner. Thor sat down and leaned against a rock and patted the ground beside him and grinning wickedly said, “Bet I can help you relax.”

I couldn’t help it, I laughed. “That wouldn’t relax me, that would wind me up.”

He only grinned that much more and foolish me I went and sat beside him anyway. He put his arm around me and said, “Seriously Hon, I think we’re OK here.”

“You still want to sleep in shifts,” I reminded him.

He shrugged and grinned and said, “Well, it never hurts to make sure.”

There wasn’t any tomfoolery that night, just sitting close and enjoying each other in a way that we hadn’t felt free to do when we had been part of the much larger caravan. We didn’t do a lot of talking but what there was was substantive.

“Where’re the maps?” I asked Thor.

“Why? Isn’t it a little late?”

“I want to count up the miles until we reach Damascus.”

“A little over two hundred miles assuming we don’t have to do much backtracking,” Thor tossed at me nonchalantly.

I sat up real quick. “Really?! Is that all?!!”

He grabbed me and pulled me back into his arms. “Little excited aren’t we? Am I going to have to tie you down to keep you from floating away?”

I poked him in the ribs. “At twenty miles a day that’s … that’s … Thor … less than two weeks and we’ll be home!” I did feel like floating at the very thought.

Thor sighed. “Easy there Hon. Once we get into the mountains we aren’t going to be making twenty miles a day, especially at some of those grades it shows on the maps. Too many of those six, seven, and eight percent grades and we’ll be lucky to make ten a day. And we need to think about a rest day pretty chop chop. The horses need it and we do too. You’ve got dark circles under your eyes.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah … oh. But …”

“But?” I asked, holding out some hope.

“But I think it is certainly possible for us to get where we’re going before the middle of October; less than a month so long as we don’t run into any problems.”

“Geez.”

He brushed a lock of hair out of my eyes. “It’s not that bad. We’ve been making good time.”

“Oh I know. I’m just anxious. We are going to need the time to get situated before the really cold weather sets in. And we have got to get you some warm clothes. I want to start keeping an eye out for more clothes for you. I could kick myself for not doing it sooner, there just never seemed to be the time. And now with winter approaching everyone is going to be looking for warm clothes and it’s just going to get harder.”

He didn’t deny that we had a problem but he said, “What about you?”

I rolled my eyes. “I’ve got more clothes than I want to even think about. Mom was a seamstress by vocation and … and … hey,” I ended quietly.

“And what has suddenly started rolling around in that head of yours Ms. Charbonneau ‘cause I know that look.”

I grinned at him in the dark. “Mom used to do some sewing for a cousin of my dad’s who lived in Abingdon. I bet the patterns are still around in her files. Claude was built sorta like you but not quite so tall. I bet with a little adjusting in the length the patterns would work for you though.” I shook my head to clear it. “But I still would like to get you some good long johns and a good winter coat. I can knit or crochet some stuff – and I will if I have to – but some of that fancy gear that was on the market would be nice for you to have. Good trail gear would be nice too and we both need as many spare boots as we can get. Maybe we should take some time to salvage before heading straight to the farm.”

“Sweetheart, you’ve got steam coming out of your ears. Slow down, we aren’t even in Virginia yet.”

“Don’t be a goof,” I told him absently while I pulled out my notebook and started making notes of potential places to look for what Thor and I needed.

“Speaking of salvage,” Thor said quietly. “I had a dream last night.”

“Hmmm?” After what he said finally penetrated I looked at him and asked, “A dream? From the look on your face that must have been some dream.”

He nodded seriously but didn’t seem to know exactly how to explain. He finally sighed and just spit it out. “You know I’ll be … er … careful with you right?”

I just kind of looked at him not sure where he was going. He squirmed a little bit before being able to continue. “Babies. That’s usually what comes from fooling around with no protection. I’ll be careful but … well …”

I must have just sat there and looked at him for a full minute before getting up the courage to ask, “You … you don’t want kids?”

“No! I mean yes, yes I do. I just mean … it’s not like there’s going to be a doctor around when it happens and … I’ve done a lot of things in my lifetime but deliver a baby hasn’t been one of them. I’ll be honest Rochelle, I think on it and all the spit evaporates out of my mouth.”

I smiled, “Oh, is that all. Don’t scare me like that. I’ll have the baby at home that’s all.”

“That’s all. That’s all?!”

“Don’t squeak Thor, it sounds funny coming out of a guy your size. What else can I do? I may rip your ears off if you get too close while I’m doing it but I figure if women have being giving birth in the bushes since the beginning of time I should be able to do it too.” I shrugged, trying not to let him see that I was a whole lot more nervous about the prospect than I was letting on.

“What if the baby is … is big?”

“Big like me?” I asked a little defensively.

“Bike like us,” he corrected. “Neither one of us is what would be called average sized. Mom had to be cut to get me out.”

“My mom too, but that was unusual circumstances and they didn’t want her to even try. I’m not small like Mom is … was I mean. For all I know Thor …” I stopped, not even willing to voice my fears.

“What?”

“Never mind.”

He sighed in exasperation. “Rochelle this better not be one of your nothings that mean anything but. Now what?”

I hemmed and hawed but finally told him, “What if I can’t Thor?”

“Can’t what?”

“Make babies. Will you …”

“Then we’ll go out and adopt us one or a dozen. Don’t go borrowing trouble.” He hugged me and tried to comfort me.

“Well,” I said trying to get my balance. “Either way that is some time off. But if we do have kids … the kind we make or the kind we adopt … most of the stuff for them is probably already in the attic or the basement storage. I know my old cradle and bed is and I know there is a trunk with a ton of clothes in it all wrapped up in cedar. Don’t need a bottle ‘cause there won’t be any store bought formula. We’ll have to figure something for diapers but the pioneers did it with next to nothing so I figure we’ll manage. Everything else we’ll figure as we go I expect.”

He grinned and said, “Thank you.”

“What for?” I asked confused at the sudden change in him.

“For not having hysterics. For not laughing at my concerns. For being prepared to do something concrete and constructive without throwing it all back in my lap. But mostly just for being you.”

Well then we did get up to some tomfoolery but not much because it was getting late and we’d be taking turns on watch that night.

The next morning I more than agreed with Thor that we needed to find a place to stop for a day or two to rest but we wouldn’t find it that day. The grades weren’t too bad to Pine Knot, a town about the fifth of the size of Monticello, but they weren’t that great either and by the time we made it to Creekmore it was already turning towards dusk and both man and beasts were too tired to do much but make camp out in the wooded area behind a small house off the highway and get some rest.

The next day we counted it up and we’d only made thirteen miles proving Thor’s concern was valid with regard to not making as much time as we had up to that point it was just neither one of us had expected it to start happening quite so soon. That day was a bit better as we made 17 miles into Williamsburg and boy was Williamsburg a surprise.

We pulled into town and a man directed us to a large green space where a lot of other wagons and tents were set up. “You two must be here for the games. Good, we’ve lost most of the regulars that used to do it and those that are left are now the judges.”

Thor gave me a look that said to let him lead things along. He turned to the man and very casually said, “Well, that’s more than we’ve heard. Maybe we should just keep going then.”

“What?! No, now don’t do that. We really do need some more participants and they start tomorrow. Remember, participants get fed and winners do even better. I assume your woman …”

Thor said warningly, “I wouldn’t assume anything if I were you.”

“Huh? Oh, I didn’t mean nothing by it. She’s free to compete too if she likes but she’ll have to take her chances just like everyone else. Check the roster at the camp and then get signed up as early as you can so we know how many we’ll need to provide for.”

In the day and age we suddenly found ourselves you didn’t turn down a free meal and it turns out the games looked like they might be fun. Wrestling, wood chopping, races of all kinds, ax and knife throwing, horsemanship … reminded me a bit of the Highland Games.

“You up for this?” Thor whispered as I signed up for wood chopping and ax throwing.

I shrugged and said, “Why not? A few games ought to be fun. I don’t want to do anything with the horses though and I won’t sign up for any wrestling until I see the other competitors.”

I heard a grumbling rumble which told me Thor wasn’t too keen on the idea of me wrestling. “OK, I won’t if you don’t like it. My shoulder ought to be fine but then again the last thing I want is to twist it so soon after the other injury.”

“Then should you be doing any of it?”

I smiled and reminded him, “It was my left shoulder Thor and I’m a righty. And besides, I’m in it for fun not necessarily to beat anyone’s record.”

The next rumble wasn’t so grumbly which told me we’d struck a compromise we could both live with. Of course, life being what it is the next day didn’t work out quite as planned.