How men pick women

[BaywaterRoss]

A man was seriously involved with three women. He knew he wanted to get married, but wasn't sure which one to pick for his bride.

So...

He gave each woman $3,000 cash.

The first woman said "You're a wonderful man, and I love you so much!" Then went and spent all the money on herself.

The second woman said "You're a wonderful man, and I love you so much!" Then went and spent half on herself, but the other half on him.

The third woman said "You're a wonderful man, and I love you so much!" Then went and spent all the money on him.

Which one did he pick?
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The one with the big breasts!

 

[Amazed]

 

[blueberry]

and it is 100% true !

 

[Kamelot]

 

[bartp40]

It also helps...

if they can balance....

 

[bartp40]

then there are those...

better left waiting.....

 

[Hamilton Felix]

Now THAT is SCARY! Tell me that wedding was at midnight on Halloween. As we'd say in the country, she looks like she's "been rode hard and put away wet." Is there a smiley for "shudder?"

But since we're speaking of marriage:



The Ten Commandments of Marriage

Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding,
economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one
wife.

Commandment 9.
Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry. That is
why wife treats husband like toxic waste.

Commandment 10.
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is
finished..

 

[Bigbng]

And a big thank-you to the guy that had the idea to put remote door locks on the keyring of even the cheapest models of cars. Now men no longer have to open the passenger door for their wives.

 

[Hamilton Felix]

Actually, I thought that remote allowed me to unlock her door just before I opened it, and my door would also be unlocked so she wouldn't have to stretch to reach across.

 

[Hamilton Felix]

Moral/Ethical Dilemma

Subject: What would you do?


You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.

2. An old friend who once saved your life.

3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car? Think before you continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first.

Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back.

However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

Answer below...





The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my
old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."

HOWEVER...., the correct answer is to run the old lady over and put her out of her misery, have sex with the perfect partner on the hood of the car,
then drive off with the old friend for a few beers.

.......God, I just love happy endings