Story Forsaken Harvest

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 24 (part 1)

Abel groaned like he was sorry he had brought it up then asked, "Then what were you thinking?"

"Just that you can't be a tyrant if you don't have anyone to push around."

Relieved that I wasn't talking about blowing something up or any other kind of mischief Abel thought about that for a moment and then said, "Ah … I understand now. Yes, that is why Hakim is angry, that people are leaving … escaping him. He would rather they starve where they are, fear him, and be subject to his rages than leave so that there would be fewer people to feed and therefore less reason for him to rage."

I was confused though so I asked, "But why do it like this? I mean, if people run from him they'll say how big and bad he is and his reputation will get bigger. Right? Isn't that what he wants? To be all big and bad and have everyone know it?"

Abel shook his head, "No Day-cee. Just because I say that Hakim is not as strong a leader as he thinks he is does not mean he is stupid. He must have some idea of his … his …limitaciones … how far he can stretch his resources. He only has so many men under his command … the original Peacekeepers … and he probably wonders of their loyalty. Of that number he probably only trusts a few, maybe none. I took many of them away from him, some have probably run away, and others have been killed by fighting like we have seen up on the mountain. He probably dreams nightly of being assassinated as he did to Sevmire."

He wasn't bragging about the men he'd killed, just stating a fact. I'm glad that he didn't gloat because I still felt bad about the different men that I'd killed over the months. Even if it was a them-or-me situation I didn't like to think about it too much.

Abel stopped on the path and faced me. "Day-cee, I do not wish to do mischief to Hakim's men."

Rolling my eyes and smiling to try and tease him out of his worry I said, "I didn't say anything. Did I? I don't know why you would even think that."

I got a small smile. "I don't know, you have certainly given me no reason to think such things." A little more seriously he said, "Querida I would not blame you if you did want to do such things. It is not that I do not want to do such as well but it is that it is not a good idea to do it in this area. If Hakim feels threatened he will take greater interest and that we do not need. I do not wish a siege to be laid against us confining us in the cave. It is too dangerous. We have a great many things thanks to your padre but to be trapped … it is a bad thing to have happen."

Not liking that scenario at all I said, "No, we definitely don't want someone to start snooping around here. But we do need to know if Hakim has patrols in this area."

The next week and a half we tried to return to our normal schedule. I was relieved when Daniel was able to settle down a lot; he really doesn't do well when things are all at sixes and sevens. I was able to get caught up on chores like laundry and making over and repairing our clothes. Abel went scouting every day to see whether we had company in the area or not.

He saw people four days running – regular folks and Blue Hats and then things seemed to just dry up. There were no scavenging groups, no single travelers, and none of Hakim's people. We were relieved but it was a mystery too. Some mysteries I could do without as I had enough to figure out on my plate already.

When Abel was away from the cave I would work on a pair of leather knee boots for him. The leather was some buckskin that he had tanned and stretched, but it was from a buck that I had gotten with my bow. His grandfather and uncles had taught him how to do process the leather so that it could be sold at auction to vendors from the city. I knew how to stretch hides with the hair on; Abel could take the hair off without nicking it all to pieces like I did. I decided to make the boots special by dying them forest camouflage using shoe polish that had been thinned with alcohol and they came out pretty well. I planned to surprise him with them when I was completely finished.

One day Abel came home early and caught me at it. They dye smell was strong so I was doing it outside the cave where the breeze could carry most of it away. Abel came down the steps to find me working on the ledge. Being playful he teased, "Querida, tell me that is not dinner."

"Ha … ha … very funny. I wasn't the one that smoked up the living quarters trying to reheat some biscuits."

He had the grace to blush and say, "You know I meant no harm. You are not going to make me cook again?"

I had to laugh at the puppy dog face he made. "No … but only because I'm hungry and don't feel like eating ashes for dinner."

We both laughed and I noticed he was in a good mood for some reason but before I could ask he asked me, "What is that you are doing?"

I shrugged. "You might as well see since you need to try them on tonight before I cut laces for them. Here, sit down and try that other one on; this one is still wet."

Instead of sitting down he just stood there holding the boot. Trying to not let my hurt feelings show I shrugged and said casually, "You know, you don't have to wear them. I just thought that you could use another pair. The boots you came in are falling apart and the ones you took from the Blue Hat aren't much better and …"

He bent down and took my hands. "You made these? For me?"

Caught off guard I stuttered, "Uh … yeah. That's what I said. Your toes are starting to show through and … I don't know … I mean I plan on waterproofing these … but you don't have to wear them if …"

He kissed my hands and I giggled because it tickled where he was growing a mustache. "Abel, don't do that … my hands are dirty."

He was very much in my space when he said, "I wish to do more that than but I will behave with honor." He quickly sat down and soon enough we saw that using his old boots to measure from had been a good idea. There was plenty of room to tuck his pants leg in as well.

"I have never seen boots done like this," he said looking them all over.

"Promise you won't laugh?"

Still smiling he said, "I will not laugh Querida. I know the work of good boots. My grandfather's brother was a Zapatero … one who makes and repairs shoes."

"A cobbler right? That's cool. My mother wasn't a cobbler but she did make a lot of costumes and when I was little the community theater group put on the play 'Robin Hood.' Do you know who I mean?" When he nodded I said, "As you've seen my mother never got rid of anything, especially not if it had to do with sewing. I used a pattern for Locksley Boots but I had to make some adjustments. The boots she made from this pattern were just for show and didn't have very good soles on them. For yours I used some of the heavy leather Dad made belts from and cut it to fit for a sturdier sole."

He was turning the boots this way and that and said, "I am very proud to have these. I am very more proud for you to make them for me. I am thinking they will be very good.

Glad that I was wrong and that he did like them I asked, "You look in a good mood. Did you find some forage?"

He shook his head. "It is still as you say 'picked over' in this area but perhaps there will be time for things to grow back now."

Even after trying to figure out what he was saying in Spanish it made no sense. "Uh, if it is so picked over how will it grow back if there are people all over?"

"That is why I smile. Hakim, whether he knows it or not, has given us a large favor." I let him explain because I still didn't have a clue what he meant. "I have been pensando … thinking. First there are people and patrols and then there were no people and patrols. It must be for reason. I followed the path that most seemed to travel and what did I see?"

"Little Mill Bridge probably. It connects the roads out here to the highway that winds into town."

He smiled, "Ah, and so I should have seen this Little Mill Bridge but I did not. There is just air."

I choked out, "You didn't see … wait … the … the bridge is … is gone?"

"Si Querida. Or should I say not gone just … broken. It ha caido abajo. It is all down."

Not believing what I'd heard and trying to picture it I asked him to confirm it. "The bridge fell down? It just fell?"

"No … not just fell down. It was helped down on one end and then twisted free on the other."

I was shocked. For as long as I could remember that short, metal bridge had served as our one access to town. Every other road out this way simply wandered around in circles between farms and up into the higher elevations where there were hunting cabins and some forestry stations. There was an old wagon road through a mountain pass on the far side of the BLM land but Dad had said it was washed out in places and little more than a goat track. Without that bridge getting to town was going to be a lot more difficult.

Then I realized I had no desire to go to town. And now the town couldn't come to us either. I jumped up and threw my arms around Abel's neck. "They'll leave us alone now. They'll have to."

He smiled broadly. "They will leave us alone for a time yes. We still need to have care. Hungry people will not let a small thing like a broken bridge stop them if they think there is food here."

"Spoil sport." When he didn't understand me I had to explain while I put away my boot project and called Daniel and Dog in.

"Let them play; I will watch them. And I have a treat for you too. He pulled two zipper bags out and there were four cleaned catfish in them."

My mouth was watering big time. I hadn't had catfish in forever, since Dad and I went fishing … before. There aren't any catfish in the higher elevation lakes where Daniel and I would fish every once in a while. "I hope they haven't been out too long. Where did you get them from?"

"A pond. I thought it was a rana or tortuga but it was this fishes."

Smiling I said, "Give them here and I'll take them in and …"

"No," he said. "The Old Woman, she taught me a way to smoke fish. I will do it here since there are no people." Then he pulled the puppy dogs eyes again and asked, "If I smoke these fish will you please make the baked mushrooms and the small roasted potatoes?"

I told him, "You're silly. Just don't burn the fish. I'm starving."

"Ah … maravilloso. I had knowing that if I looked I would find something to tempt your hunger."

I laughed. When Abel got excited and didn't stop to think his grammar was horrible. "The way I feel right now, even if you had brought back frogs or turtles I would have still figured out how to cook them. Frog legs are actually good and turtle isn't bad … better than starving. Which reminds me … if there are fish and frogs and turtles and the other stuff we've been surviving on why are there so many hungry people?"

As he helped me to put the shoe materials back into the basket I was carrying them in Abel said, "I do not know Querida. The only thing I can think on is that people did not want to change what they ate … or … or perhaps it is they forgot how to … to eat different things. The words will not come into my head right now. But now that the town she is picked over completely and Hakim … ah … I am not sure."

Thinking about it I said, "No, I think you're right. Say people ate what they were used to and then ate what the Blue Hats gave them. Maybe they did eat what they could find in town … maybe even dogs and cats by now if the radio is telling the truth. But most people waited too long to leave the cities, or whatever. But it sure must be slim pickings now. That's probably why people were escaping into the countryside again. I wonder what happens now that Hakim has them blocked in … at least on this side."

Some of Abel's good mood evaporated. "In the big cities they burned. Riots and crimes were too great to count. I think it is only going to be in places like this … cut off from most people getting to them … that the wild things still grow, wild animals will still live. We must be very careful not to take too many. You have seen the hunting is not as good as it once was. It must be worse other places. The winter was hard on the big game and will be worse this coming cold season. People will push animals into the high places, they will over graze the land, they will starve just like the people starve."

"At least the animals that have a very narrow diet will. Some, like the bear, may be OK if they can find enough to get fat on before they hibernate. Do you think the deer look scrawnier than last season?"

"Si … and there are signs that the deer are eating things they only eat when they are hungry, like the bark of trees."

I shook my head, "Deer with eat saplings and the tops out of pine trees all the time. It drove Dad crazy when he was trying to thicken the tree line. They'll eat dogwood trees too."

"Si, but those are small trees. I speak of the big trees. I saw one today standing on his hind legs peeling the bark away and stripping the leaves out of the highest branches it could reach. This was in an area that was much trampled and fouled by the ones coming from the town."

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 24 (part 2)

It gave me a lot to think about. I carried my stuff back in and then came out with a basket of hickory nuts and the vice I used to crack them. Abel had his project well in hand. I sat beside him and told him, "I think I know why we still have some animals around here to hunt." He raised an eyebrow in question while I got comfortable. "If they confiscated all the guns early, before people were too hungry, then they wouldn't have what most of them were used to hunting with. I'm surprised they didn't do more fishing … and maybe they did, sometimes with fish it is hard to tell … but maybe fishing gear was confiscated too."

Abel shook his head, "I did not hear such a thing. But if movements were controlled or people had too much fear to move about in the open perhaps that is why they did not fish or hunt. When I first met you it was with the bow and arrow that you helped to fight. I have seen no others do this except in the movies or television."

"Bow hunting comes in and out of fashion around here. One year you could walk into the gun shop and buy all the bow strings and arrows you could want and the next you'd have to go to a big town or order it online to get what you wanted. When Dad taught me to hunt with a bow I was one of the youngest that the Fish and Wildlife people had ever heard of. I was pulling a small compound bow by the time I was five. I couldn't hit much but I got better. I prefer bow hunting … guns are loud and sometimes I jump and it makes me miss what I was aiming at. And Daniel, well you know how thrilled he is with lots of loud noise."

"Si … he is as you say … thrilled. Have you tried to teach him to hunt?"

I shook my head. "Not much sense in it because he doesn't have enough focus to clean what he gets. He'll go fishing … he likes the quiet … but you see how he is about taking anything he catches off the hook and I'd be scared to let him near a knife sharp enough to gut and clean a fish."

"Day-cee, he needs to learn something. Dios prohibe, but what if something happens to us? How will he survive?"

"Why do you think I've been so careful? I suppose he could be like John the Baptist and survive on honey and locusts but I don't want it to come to that." Defensively I said, "He does know what forage he can eat and what he can't. He also knows how the grow rooms work … he can follow a calendar by marking off days and he is better about time passing than he used to be."

"Easy Querida, I was not criticizing."

I sighed and tried to relax. "I know. This … this taking care of Daniel … it is what my parents raised me to do. I don't know how to do anything else."

Hesitantly Abel asked, "Have you ever thought that maybe you take care of him too much?"

I looked at him and he must have thought I was angry because he said, "Let me explain Day-cee. There were no special schools or classes for our Rosa. There was no room for her – for people like her – in many places where I lived. She mostly stayed at home with Abuelita and my aunts. She did what they did because to do otherwise would not have been permitted. But there was a Sister at the school that would come to see her like a friend. She always praised her to see that she was doing things for herself. Rosa was … was more autistico than Daniel. She did not talk most of the time and when she did it was not something to always be understood. But she could catch the chicken and kill it and clean it. Rosa love the cabras more than anything. She could take care of them, keep the dogs from them, milk them and help the aunts make cheese. She could help prepare the food we all ate. It is why Uncle was able to send her away; she was a hard worker and could do these things and not complain. Our Daniel needs to learn to do more … he can do more." He drew a breath and then added, "Day-cee, learning these things does not mean he will need you any less."

I didn't know whether to be angry, defensive, or sad … or none of the above. I knew Abel meant well. I knew he even was telling the truth. I just didn't know how to make it happen. "I don't know how to teach him. Believe me, I've tried. But he just won't do it for me. It makes me feel like a failure, like I should know how to fix it but I can't."

He leaned over and patted my shoulder. "He is … different Querida, but he is still a boy. Trust me when I say that most will not do things that they know others will do for them. I had much to learn when I came to Abuelo's farm. I did not know how to do any of the things he expected of me. He called me spoiled and weak for my age, but I was not and it shamed me to have him say those things. Abuelo was always big in my eyes; his lips wrote words on my heart. My cousins would help me many times but … when it was found out Abuelo would undo the work and make me do it myself. He said that I had to learn because there would not always be someone there to do it for me or to help me. It was a hard lesson to learn at first but it made me stronger. It may take Daniel longer to learn, it may give us the indigestion, but he must learn … for his sake … and for ours. Would your padre not want that? For Daniel to learn?"

I didn't answer him for a while. It took me time to wrap my head around the idea that there were things that Daniel could do that I wasn't letting him do … either because it was easier for me to do them or because I just didn't believe he could. I gathered up the pile of nutmeats I had made and before I went inside I looked at Abel and said, "Maybe I'm more like Momma than I thought."

When I got to the kitchen and started fixing dinner I thought about it. They used to think it was neat that Dad could blacksmith and weld metal the old-fashioned way but also I heard a few people say it was a waste of time when you could just go buy a new something. They didn't think there was much sense in it. Everyone had always thought Dad was a little peculiar teaching me the things he did; wondering why he bothered since I was unlikely to really need those skills. I was a girl and lived in a modern world. Maybe I was like those other people, not thinking there was much sense in teaching Abel other ways of doing things. Daniel was smart, I knew that, but maybe I was holding him back from being as smart as he could be. And maybe I was doing it because I was afraid that one day he wouldn't need me anymore and then what would become of my mission in life?

It was a problem and I'd thought about it just as much as my heart could stand for a while so I focused on doing what was needful. Abel had asked for baked mushrooms and that was just too easy for words. He also wanted roasted potatoes which was another plain and easy thing to do. I was in the mood for something a little special though to go with the smoked catfish so I decided to make Hickory Nut Stuffed Eggs.

The chickens were not giving quite as many eggs as they had before. I think they preferred the outdoors and I planned on mentioning to Abel that since it looked like there were going to be fewer travellers through the area that we move them back outside. But because of how many we had they still made more eggs than we could easily use every day. I always had a couple of dozen in reserve. I had some boiled eggs waiting to be pickled so I repurposed six of them by slicing them in half and removing the yellow yolks. I mashed the yolks with two tablespoons of butter from the jars Momma had put up and a little powdered cream. Then I stirred in two tablespoons of table mustard and a little salt and pepper.

I took some of the hickory nuts and chopped them up finely until I had a half cup and then mixed them into the egg yolk concoction. Then when it was as smooth as it was going to get I spooned the filling back into the wells of the egg whites. When I was finished I put them on my mother's antique glass egg platter. From there I thought if I was going to get fancy I might as well do it up right.

I made a quick herb and small greens salad and a vinegar and oil dressing. Out came the nice dishes and silver and glasses and after a quickly dust I set them up on the never used dining room table. I took the fish from Abel when he brought it in and told him and Daniel to get cleaned up … not just wash their hands but change their shirts and brush their hair. That got me a surprised look but they gave in gracefully. I ran and put the drawstring skirt on. Then I had another thought.

I went to one of the storage rooms I rarely opened. I had to use the key that stayed on top of the door frame to get in. Dad had called it the "barter room." There wasn't a lot in it … some five gallon buckets of nails and the like. Dad hadn't had time to fill it with anything of import except for one thing. All along one wall were these racks that held liquor … most of it homemade or the kind of rotgut stuff that Momma used to make her herbal tinctures and the like with. I didn't drink; was no longer even tempted. I'd sampled a bottle once when I wondered what all the fuss was about and if it would truly take my troubles away one day after Daniel had been particularly trying and I missed everyone so bad. I made the mistake of thinking if it was clear that meant it was going to be weak, close to water. Boy was I wrong. One glass of this stuff called Everclear had me puking my guts up for hours … and that was after I was finally able to breathe after the first big gulp.

I didn't really have any desire to drink again but Abel had told stories of his family and one of the things he mentioned was that there was always a bottle of wine to go with just about every meal except breakfast. I hadn't a clue what kind of wine went with smoked fish, or if it even mattered. I refused to worry about it; he'd either drink it or he wouldn't; but at least it would be a reminder of his home from before. I grabbed a bottle of the stuff that Dad had called a rose' and brought it to the table.

Abel and Daniel were in the kitchen and I had to laugh at the look on their faces when I told them where we were eating. Daniel soon lost interest in anything but the fact there would be food but Abel was willing to get into the spirit of things. The table was too big for us to sit on opposite ends but when I told him the head of the table was his, he insisted on pulling out my chair and seating me on his right.

I poured Daniel well-watered down blackberry shrub and then uncovered the bottle of homemade wine for Abel. He was speechless. I told him, "You don't have to drink it. Um, I don't even know if it is any good to be honest. I'm really not sure that I could tell either. But … you know … you said your Abuelo would always have a glass of wine with his dinner … and … and I thought … well … you really don't have to."

The wine was good … or at least it wasn't spoiled. I just couldn't drink it without making a face. Abel laughed and switched glasses with me and watered down what was left in his glass so that I could drink it. That was better but it still made my stomach feel over warm.

After all the food had been eaten Abel leaned back in his chair and said, "Querida this was very wonderful. Was there a special occasion?"

I shrugged, "We're alive, that's reason enough I guess."

He reached over and took my hand and kissed it and said, "Si … it is."

 

[Siskiyoumom]

Thank you so very much!

 

[ted]

Thank you.

 

[Texican]

Kathy,

Thank you for all of the chapters of reading.

Texican....

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 25 (part 1)

All three of us cleaned up the dishes to make it go faster. I enjoyed the fun of having a special dinner but not having all the extra dishes and another room to clean up. I wanted to have more such fun times but not every night. Abel agreed.

Dog didn't seem to mind; the dining room was a new place to explore and she vacuumed up the few crumbs that had made it to the floor. She did get a dust bunny on her rump and Daniel laughed and had to chase her down to get it off because she kept turning in circles, never quite able to reach the foul beastie that had latched onto her bottom.

By the time Abel and I finished the last few things, put them away, and got to the family room the two of them were half asleep in front of the fire. Rather than sit down only to have to get up and carry him to bed Abel and I carted him off and made sure he washed up good and got his PJs on. Since he'd played out in the tall grass I gave him a good going over looking for ticks.

"You must be as sour as those candies you used to like to eat. I never find ticks on you," I grumped at him in fun. He only hooted which told me he really was tired so I told him to crawl into bed.

For some reason when I got back to family room I was close to tears. Abel saw and jumped up, "Querida, is something wrong?"

I flapped my hand at him and told him, "Oh sit down. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's just … he's my little brother only now he's as tall as me and … and he doesn't even ask for stories at bed time anymore. Now you tell me that I'm holding him back only it doesn't seem I can stop him from growing up. Everything is changing so fast. And this is totally stupid and I must be losing my mind because this makes no sense."

I didn't cry, not really. I really didn't know what the problem was. The whole point was to make sure that Daniel survived just like Dad had wanted. I just hadn't understood that succeeding would hurt so much.

Abel said quietly as we sat on the sofa, "I did not mean to make you cry Day-cee."

"I know … and you aren't why I'm being silly. I don't know why I'm feeling so strange. The whole point was to take care of Daniel and finish raising him the way Dad would want. I guess I just never thought about this part of it. I got comfortable with thinking things would always be a version of what they used to be … but I'm beginning to think that isn't true. Daniel needs to grow up; I need to let him grow up. But that's not all of it."

Rubbing my hand Abel seemed to be afraid to make me cry more but he asked, "What is the rest?"

I looked at him and said, "Things can't keep going the same way forever. Daniel isn't the only one that I need to let grow up. I need … to let myself grow up as well. Only I'm not sure I know what that means for me anymore."

I could see Abel didn't know what to say to that. I sighed. I'm not sure what I expected him to say but I thought he'd say something. When things got too quiet between us I told him, "I have a full day tomorrow. 'Nite." He grunted something in return and that was all.

I got up the next morning and things were the same as they always had been but yet not. I fixed breakfast. We laughed. We talked about what we wanted to do that day and then we went off to do them. Yet … it was like something was there between us. I wondered if I was carrying a grudge or something but I tested my feelings and I wasn't. I wondered if maybe I'd said something wrong but I thought it over and I hadn't. I'd been honest and I hadn't taken my feelings out on Abel.

Finally I noticed that work was just piling up while I stood around thinking and decided I'd figure it out later. All I did know for sure was that dealing with Abel was more complicated than dealing with Daniel and if I had trouble figuring how to work with Daniel, figuring out Abel was just way too out there for me.

To get my mind off of it I focused on the most needful things in the grow rooms. First off I had a bushel basket of beets to do something with. After washing them I set aside some beet greens for our meals and the rest went into the compost pile that I was trying to build. It went into a tumbler that was in the warmest of the grow rooms but even then it took a long time to make, a lot longer than if it had the sun to heat it up.

The greens I didn't plan to use fresh I canned up in some pint jars like I would have any greens that came out of the garden. We ate them all; collard, mustard, kale, chard, and more. I even canned dandelion greens last spring before they got so hard to come by.

After the greens I had the red bulbs to deal with. I canned jars of plain beets, some pickled beets, and one of Momma's specialties; beet jelly. I cooked the beets and then mashed them to get six cups of beet juice. I added a half cup of canned lemon juice because I was saving the powdered stuff for when the canned ran out. Then I added two boxes of sure-jel. It made me nervous to wonder what I would do when all the sure-jel ran out but since there wasn't any fruit to can I wasn't in danger of doing that any time soon. Momma bought the stuff by the case for canning season because she used to sell a lot at the farmer's market.

I brought all of the stuff I'd mixed into the beet juice to a boil for one minute and then added eight cups of white sugar and two small boxes of raspberry jell-o and brought it back to a boil and then boiled it for a full five minutes more. Then I poured it into jelly jars and processed them in a boiling water bath.

I didn't bother with lunch because Abel had taken Daniel out and they were going to eat only the forage that Daniel could find. I wasn't worried about that so much since Daniel had been doing that sort of thing with Momma and me since he was born but I did worry that maybe he wouldn't mind Abel. Turns out that was one worry I didn't need to have.

I moved onto the next thing in the grow rooms that needed work and that was the pepper room. That was Daniel's special project; the colors and shapes of the peppers fascinated him but I couldn't let them stay on the plants anymore, some were already too far gone and I would need to use them for next season's seed. Daniel had a way with plants; I think he got that from Momma. I like plants and gardening but it turned out that Daniel had a real talent for it; thank goodness one of us thought of it as more than a chore.

First thing was I took some of each different kind … the sweet and the hot peppers … and put them on the drying trays that Dad built into the kitchen to work off of passive heat form the stove. Next I decided to start some Artillery Jam by using six big red bell peppers. I seeded and chopped them, then ground them up coarsely into a bowl; next I sprinkled them with two tablespoons of salt, covered the bowl and set it aside. I'd finish the jam the next day by draining off half the liquid that formed and putting what was left in the bowl into a heavy saucepan with a cup of cider vinegar and two cups of white sugar. I'd bring the mess to a boil and then turn it down to simmer and stir it off and on for an hour to keep it from scorching. When it had thickened I would take it off the heat and add a drop or two of red food coloring until the mixture was bright, bright red. Then I'd put it in small jelly jars and process like any kind of jam or jelly.

We didn't eat Artillery Jam on toast or biscuits but on crackers with cheese. Momma had said you didn't have to have fruit to have something special and she was right. In fact it was her specialty jams and jellies that she always won ribbons for at the fair. I pulled out her "Blue Ribbon" recipe book and made a list of them that I wanted to make. The secret ingredient that made Carrot Jelly bright orange was a package of orange koolaide. Hot pepper jelly was one of Dad's favorites, especially when she made it with jalapenos. The Garlic Jelly won a blue ribbon so often she stopped entering it in the contests. Horseradish Jelly was really good on sandwiches and is much better than it sounds. Purple Hull Jelly was good to use the leftover cooking water from the peas. I could make Sassafras Jelly using honey; it tasted a little like sarsaparilla soda without the bubbles. Onion Jelly and Zucchini Jam went on the list as well. But there wasn't time to make any because I needed to start dinner.

I'd been cooking all day so I decided just to make acorn muffins and heat soup up. I needn't have bothered with either and could have just make myself some nut butter crackers. When I heard them coming in I stepped into the hallway only to have Daniel barrel into me and grab me in a bear hug.

"Goodness gracious!"

I thought at first he was upset but he was grinning like crazy and said, "Abel said I did real good Dacey … real, real good. We're stuffed! I want pickles for dinner. I'm full and I only want pickles. I want something sour Dacey. I'm dying for something sour. We worked hard!"

I looked over at Abel and it was obvious he was as tired as Daniel was wired. I asked, "But what about what Abel wants?"

"Abel is full too and only wants a shower," he mumbled.

Daniel laughed. "Abel fell in skunk cabbage. He smells Dacey!"

Well that explained a little why he was so standoffish. Trying not to laugh too I said, "I'll … uh … bring you … uh … a towel."

He hunched his shoulders and marched off towards the bathroom. I looked at Daniel and asked him quickly, "Daniel, you didn't push him did you?"

He shook his head and said, "There was a little pig. Abel was trying to catch him and it ran through his legs and when he tried to grab it he fell over." He laughed again. "It sure was funny Dacey. He rolled in the skunk cabbage but didn't know what he was doing. How come he's big and doesn't know about skunk cabbage Dacey?"

Biting the inside of my cheek to stop myself from smiling I told him, "You know, it isn't nice to laugh at people like that Daniel. Did he catch the pig?"

Daniel nodded, "Abel was laughing too until he figured out it wasn't the pig that smelled but him, then he stopped laughing. How come he stopped laughing Dacey? Stinky is stinky."

I nearly strangled trying to explain to Daniel that it was different when it was you that was stinky. Daniel didn't get it but accepted the explanation anyway. I grabbed a basket for Abel's clothes and took some clean towels to him like I said I would.

I knocked on the door and heard him snap, "What?!"

"Uh … I brought you some clean towels … and there's a basket for your clothes."

"Fine," he barked. "Leave them."

Well, if that didn't beat all. I left him to clean up and went to check Daniel for ticks but he told me that Abel had already done it. After making sure he'd washed up I gave him some sour pickles and then watched him wind down like a clock when he sat still long enough for his fatigue to catch up.

It was easy enough to convince Daniel to go to bed. From all I'd pulled out of him it sounded like they had tramped over the whole valley though I knew that couldn't be true. I took Daniel's dirty clothes and watched Dog go to find Abel who hadn't left the clothes outside the bathroom like I'd expected. I looked in the bathroom and they weren't there either and neither was the basket.

I went to his room and knocked on the door. There was no answer. I knocked again and called his name. No answer so I opened the door and walked in. Boy howdy! There was Abel lying across the bed face down with only a towel wrapped around his middle.

I didn't have time to get a good look because he flew up trying to keep the towel in place and yelled, "Out!"

Well, I wasn't going to be yelled at. "I knocked twice and you didn't answer. I thought you went to the kitchen or something."

He strangled another, "Out!" although this time he didn't yelp quite so much.

"I will when you tell me what you did with your dirty clothes basket."

He was muttering in Spanish and then pointed to the floor behind me. I dumped Daniel's dirty clothes into it and then some wild hare bit me and I looked at him as I went out the door and said, "Well, at least your legs are hairier than mine are."

I shut the door on a lot more Spanish and giggled all the way to the wash room. The look on his face had been worth any embarrassment that I had felt when I first went in the room and realized he was in there. I set the clothes to soak and boy was Abel's really rank. I fought more giggles because I didn't want to inhale the skunk cabbage odor any more than I already had.

I was still smiling when I walked into the kitchen and found Abel getting something to drink. A giggle escaped no matter how much I tried to hold it in and he stood up straight and asked, "Have you no shame?!"

Well if that didn't unplug my funny bone nothing was going to. Abel had never really seen the backside of my temper. Not only did I try and behave nicely with him but he'd never done anything to set me off. The few times he's seen a little bit of it all the energy was being directed at someone besides him … like the Blue Hats. I don't think he even realized that most of what I did to them wasn't out of moral outrage but due to plain old anger.

Looking at Abel I felt like I had the time I'd tried to turn one of Dad's bunnies into a pet and after weeks of it being a gentle, fluffy armful it jumped up and bit my nose when I got too close. His next words only fanned the flames. "First last night you try and push me to my limits and make me do something that I have told you time and again that you are too young for and now today you push me again by walking into the room while I was changing."

Ping! I blew just like a steam valve on a pressure canner. "Now you just wait one doggone minute. If you are saying what I think you are saying you better duck because I'm that close to throwing something at you. First off I wasn't trying to get you to do anything; I thought I could talk to you about stuff. If you turned it into something dirty then that was you, not me, 'cause I sure wasn't thinking about what you apparently were. Second, before going into your room I knocked not once but twice and called your name too. You could have said you were in there but you didn't. I did not walk in and make you think anything, again that was you Buster. And you weren't changing, you were half way asleep and I would have left you alone if you hadn't sprung up like someone had pinched your backside."

"See! There you say such things again!"

"Argh! You know, I thought only girls got hormonal once a month … obviously I was wrong. Let me know when you get over it and you decide to act like you've got sense."

He made an outrage squawk when he figured out what I was talking about and opened his mouth like he was going to say something but I threw the dishcloth at his head and stomped out of the kitchen and off to the grow rooms.

Dog found me there a few minutes later and stayed around to commiserate with me. I told her, "You know, I think maybe he must have eaten something bad while he was out with Daniel today. Or maybe he's always just been brain damaged and I'm just getting around to noticing it. I can't believe he would say stuff like that. You are so lucky you don't have to deal with boy dogs and puppies." I knew that Dog was "fixed" from the small scar hidden under the fur on her belly.

A voice from the door made me turn with a jerk. "Am I the dog or the puppy?"

I gave a good imitation of a warning growl and told Abel, "Go away."

He sighed. "Not until I have apologized."

"Fine, consider it done. Now leave me alone."

He turned to leave which was just fine by me then he turned around and came over. "Day-cee, I am sorry. I … I …." His shoulders slumped and he turned to leave again.

I was still hot and stood up and out of the row I was working on because I was still mad enough to stomp something and I wanted it to be Abel and not the plants. "I'm not stupid you know. It's not like I don't wonder about that stuff. But I know the difference between what's safe and what isn't. I never wanted to be one of those girls that made the boys all hot and bothered by acting silly. You were my friend first before all these other things started crowding in. I'm not so dumb as to wreck that up."

He tried to say something but I wasn't in the mood for listening. "And for another thing, I wouldn't bait a bull."

His mouth really did fall open at that. "Oh for pity sake don't look so surprised. I'll be sixteen next month and it wasn't last century when I was born you know. I know about the birds and the bees." At his confused look I rolled my eyes. "Sex. I know about sex. And uncross your eyes, it isn't a dirty word. Just because I haven't done anything with anyone doesn't mean I don't know how it works or the consequences. I wouldn't get into a pen with a bull and tease it and I have more sense than to tease a boy … man … whatever, you know what I mean."

He shook his head. "No Day-cee, I do not know what you mean."

"Oh for crimany … Abel, I know it isn't fair OK. Guys are just … just different. After a certain age the whole species seems to have sex on the brain most of the time and when it isn't sex it is food and if it isn't sex or food it's cars … and when they go on dates with girls it seems to be all three at the same time. Guys show off to make themselves seem a better mate than other guys their age. Guys are always looking at themselves … it may not be in mirrors but they are as bad as girls when it comes to shiny surfaces. I swear Jeff would break his neck trying to get a last look before going in some place where he knew there would be girls around to admire him. Guys are just like farm animals that way; everything seems to be about the act of procreating in some way."

Abel was really starting to wheeze but I didn't care. "You know how many lectures I had to listen to from Momma and Dad?! Every time some girl in town did something stupid I had to hear about it. The worst was when one of the girls in my class got knocked … er … got pregnant. Momma was scandalized and Dad nearly had a fit. What made it worse was that it was one of my friends; I was twelve and she was thirteen. I tried to tell them that Charisse didn't mean to and boy did that set them off and I had to listen to one lecture right after another about how 'meaning to' had nothing to do with it. I finally figured out it wasn't really Charisse they were the worst upset with but her parents and the parents of the boy … the families blew it off like all the kids were doing it and it was just their kids that had the bad luck to get caught." I shook my head remembering. "Charisse explained it all to us and trust me, none of us in my crowd of friends wanted to make the same mistake she did. She explained about the teasing and where it can lead so no way did I mean what you thought I meant and …"

Abel finally broke in saying, "Ok … Day-cee … OK. Do not say anymore. I was wrong." He slunk off but I didn't feel much better. After a while I realized it wasn't so much that I was angry but that my feelings were hurt that he thought I was the kind of girl that would tease boys.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 25 (part 2)

I gave up on the gardening; I was afraid I was going to ruin something. I cleaned up and went to the kitchen to do the dishes but they'd already been done. I didn't think much of it so I went to change the water on the clothes only I found that'd been done too. I shook my head and went looking and found Abel filling the wood box in the family room.

"I was beginning to wonder if there was a brownie in the cave."

Cautiously he asked, "A what?"

"It's a kind of duende that helps around the house only no one can see it."

Not sure what to make of that he said, "Oh."

Finally giving into the urge I sighed and said, "Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled. I just don't know what I've ever done to make you think I was the kind of girl that would be mean to you like that."

He shook his head. "You have not done anything. All of this … sometimes … it is more … harder …." He snapped, "I am so tired of not having all the words I need."

Feeling bad for him I said, "Then don't make it hard, make it simple."

He shook his head. "It is all too simple Day-cee. I want things. I have no … no rights to those things. You are too young. As you say, there are consecuencias."

I flopped down on the sofa, tired of the argument but more upset that he was still feeling bad. "Abel, you are a guy … the way I understand it those things are just what guys your age think about whether they can help it or not."

He sat on the floor and said, "Not … not right or wrong Day-cee … rights." At my confused look he said, "Uh … persmissions … a thing that says that I can do something and it not be wrong … er … uh …."

Getting slightly suspicious I couldn't quite look him in the eye when I asked, "Are we talking about how you used to be so jumpy about there not being any of my family to say it was OK that we … er … hugged and kissed?"

He couldn't quite look me in the eye either but did manage to clear his throat and said, "Si … I mean yes … yes that is what I mean."

Quietly I reminded him, "Abel, there isn't anyone to ask permission from except me and I haven't exactly objected to it."

"Si … yes … I know. I am bad for doing such things. You are too young and have no one to see to your interests."

I threw a small sofa pillow at him and said, "Don't be ridiculous. Last time I checked all you did was 'see to my interests.' We've never done anything really … er … well, I mean we've kissed but not like … er … well, you know what I mean. Kissing is as far as it has gone. And last time I checked hugging isn't against the law or anything."

His lips twisted into a half smile. "In my town hugging the wrong person can get you dead Day-cee. The men there are … er … possessive of what they see as theirs; wives, daughters, it matters not."

"Sounds … charming."

He took one look at the face I was making and slowly broke out into a real smile and scooted over beside me though he still sat on the floor. "Yes … charming. But it was the way it was. Good daughters from good families stayed good until they were granted permission to become good wives."

"Geez that sounds like … I don't know … so Dark Ages. I mean, if my parents were alive I would expect that someone would have asked permission before they asked me out on a date or asked to marry me but it's … well, it is kind of just to be considerate and you know, honor my parents. But I would still be the one making the final choice. If I was eighteen my parents couldn't stop me from getting married even if they did object."

Abel shook his head. "That is not the way it is in Spain. First off there you must show that you are free to marry. It does not matter whether you go to the courthouse in Madrid or go to the priest in a small village; this certificate must be provided. To marry in the church means that your parents must write and sign that you are free or the priest will not marry you. Even to marry in the courthouse you must have witnesses that are close enough that say you are free and each town can say how close the witness must be to you … some say it must be a parent whether you are marrying in the church or not. Then you must … er … post the banns."

"What is that? Like being engaged?"

"Um … no. Engagement as it is here is something that comes before applying for the license for to marry. The banns say you have made the application and that you will marry within the month and gives people time to give reasons why you should not."

Shocked I said, "People can stop you from getting married even if you've got everything else done right? You've got to be kidding!"

"No … and there is more. Before you can even apply for to marry, you must prove that you were born, not everyone has the paper like they do in this country … the birth certificate. Many must go to where they were christened and get a copy of the official church registry or get a paper from the hospital where they were born if the original has been lost or destroyed. And if we wanted to marry in the church … oh Dios … we would have to have permission from the Bishop."

I was wondering how he'd gone from a general discussion to discussing "we" getting married. He mistook my look and said, "Yes, it is very complicated and others can cause you much trouble when you wish to marry. That is why it is important that both families are happy with the match."

All I could say was, "Uh huh."

He was looking all relaxed again. His hands were behind his neck and he was leaning back like he was just explaining the rules to some sports game … like the time he tried to explain to me that football to him meant soccer and what the rules were compared to American football.

"Abel?"

"Hmm?"

"What are the rules when … uh … two people don't have any family?"

He shrugged, "The same … only there is no one to cause trouble so it moves much faster so long as all the papers are in order."

I had a million other questions but was afraid to ask them. He was staring into the fire when I finally got up the nerve to say, "Abel … I don't want to fight so don't think I'm … uh … teasing but … I still don't understand what you mean by you don't have rights."

Pensively he looked into the fire rather than at me and answered, "It means many things. It means that … that … I have not much to offer you like most families would expect for their daughters. It means that you have no family or friends to stand up for you and make me behave with honor. It means that even if all those things were not true there is no man of the church to say words to give me the right to do the things that I think about. But mostly it means you are young and may not be ready for any of those things. This place is different from where I grew up. There is more … more possibilities for women. There was some of that where I came from but mostly girls were still expected to marry young and become wives and mothers. Only the rich families could afford to have their daughters choose a different future for themselves with their parents' blessing."

I was quiet for a while then felt forced to admit, "Abel, this is making me crazy. Are we talking about me, you, or us? Is it … I don't know … hypothetical or is it real? You say such beautiful things but I'm still not sure if you're saying them in general or saying them to me specifically for … you know … a reason."

I know I can be as bold as brass and honest to a fault but even I have my limits. I was not about to ask whether he was talking about marrying me. For one I didn't want to make a fool of myself if I was wrong. And for another I hadn't a clue what I would do if he was asking me to marry him … or thinking about me marrying him … or whatever. I thought I was pretty sure I knew what I wanted but at the same time … whoooo boy, it was a really huge thing that needed a lot of thought. I just didn't have me to think about, I had Daniel too. And it isn't like all was right and bright in the world either. Decisions, no matter how small, could mean life or death for us all and what I was thinking about was not small … not small at all.

Still looking into the fire Abel answered and I could tell he was just as cautious as I was. "I am talking about all of that … you, me, us. If I think about it too much it … it … makes me want things even more Day-cee. I want you to know how I feel but if I think about you knowing how I feel then … then it makes me want you to … to prove you feel the same as I. And if we do that perhaps it is only a few short steps to … to more serious things. Perhaps you are so young you will change your mind or be sorry for the more serious things … and that would … would break me in a way … in a way Hakim never could. Do … do you … understand?"

Quietly I said, "Of course I do. I've lost a lot in this life and none of the losing was nice or easy to take. I don't want to lose you too. Maybe one day I will … you could change your mind too you know. You aren't that much older than I am and I don't guess you've have much chance to get to know girls closer to your age."

He finally turned and looked at me and said, "You will not lose me Querida, not for that reason."

I shook my head. "Don't make promises Abel. Broken promises hurt worse than promises never made."

His soulful, chocolate colored eyes were more than I could handle. "But I wish to make promises to you Querida."

"Right now you do but … but …" I could barely talk around the lump in my throat.

Quietly he said, "Shhhh. Do not get upset. Do not do the tears. Perhaps this is enough for now. Perhaps … perhaps if … if I were to know that you would make promises too if you were free to …"

Suddenly I understood. Abel was older but not that much older. And he'd been through some really horrible things in his life too. He was just as worried about spoiling things as I was and just as unsure that there was anything to spoil in the first place. I told him, "This isn't where you grew up Abel. This is here and I'm free to make any promise I want to and make it stick. And believe me I want to. Did I ever tell you that both of my grandmothers got married when they were sixteen? One stayed with her husband and loved him until she died … the other … my father's mother … her husband turned out not to be so great. He was too young when they got married and got suffocated by all the responsibilities and then made some wrong choices and chose a destructive path that hurt everyone. Do you see? I know I can make promises I'm just scared of the consequences of those promises."

Scrunching up his face he asked, "You think I will … will not stick to a promise? That I will be angry at you for my promise?"

"No … not really although maybe a little of that is in there. I mean I know what the consequences of those promises could be." Quietly I said, "I love Daniel. I'd die for him. But … but I …" I all but whispered the last part, "But I don't know what I'd do if … if I had one just like him. A regular baby seems to be so much work, but what if the baby I had was just like Daniel? Or like your cousin Rosa? I remember how my parents were when they first found out that Daniel would be … different. They loved Daniel, maybe gave him an extra helping of it after that because he needed them in a way I didn't … but part of them was a little sad too that he'd have to struggle in ways most kids didn't."

I saw Abel's adam's apple bob when he swallowed. "You are … are thinking babies."

I wanted to hit him with another sofa pillow. He grew up on a farm, he should know it as well as I. "Babies are usually what happens when you do the things you say you are thinking of doing."

I could see he was fighting to not smile or be embarrassed by the fact that he wanted to smile. "Yes … yes they do."

I don't know where I got the nerve to poke the bear but I told him, "Any man that makes those kinds of promises to me better not plan on being able to stud around. I'm no witless hen to share the rooster with all the other biddies."

He choked on his own spit and said, "Yes, that I suspect that would be … er … as dangerous as if a man in my village were to hug the wrong person."

We looked at each other and then all the tension just evaporated as we fell into a fit of laughter.

He finally climbed up on the sofa beside me and said, "I think this is a promise of sorts … yes?"

I nodded, "Yes. I guess it is sort of a promise that one day will make a promise to each other."

"Si … yes." But then he made a sad face, "I am sorry Querida, but I am just a poor man and I will probably think things that I would be better not thinking for they make me … crazy." When he said crazy I could see plain as day he really meant something else and wasn't particularly sorry about it.

Throwing a curveball at him I said, "News flash Buddy. Girls think about that stuff too."

He acted really silly and ducked and covered his head with his hands. "Ah … no … now I have the idea … it is in my head. Ahhhh." We laughed again, mostly at the fact that the argument was well and truly over with but then he added more seriously. "We are not farm animals. We can have the self-control until we can think of the answers to the things that worry us."

I nodded, "Yeah. For a while anyway. One of these days we are really going to have to figure things out once and for all. I don't know about you but I don't want to have fights like this again. I don't want to think you don't think I'm a good girl."

He sighed and said, "Yes … no more fights … but we probably will … just not on this. We are both too … too aspasionado … passionate, we feel things big. But for Daniel we will behave … for ourselves we will behave." More quietly he added, "And I am sorry that you did not believe I knew you were a good girl. I just … the frustration … I let it make my brain mush and my mouth loose. I will not make that mistake twice."

Smiling to show him no hard feelings I told him, "No, we'll probably make other ones. Hopefully we won't make them too often or too big."

"Let us pray for that Querida. And now … now it is time that we went to our rooms I think. I don't know about you but I am muy cansado … very tired. This foraging for all our food is very hard."

"Yeah, Momma said you spent at least as much energy foraging as the food could provide you." I stood up and we were about to go our separate ways when I jumped. "Oh! I forgot all about it. What did you do with the pig?"

Abel shook his head ruefully. "It got away before I could tie a rope on it. It was muddy and very hard to hold onto. And it was very smart and ran into the bushes where I could not follow."

I had to practically run the last few steps to my room so that he wouldn't see me laughing. I went to bed still smiling for a lot of reasons but the picture of poor Abel … done in by a pig and skunk cabbage … almost had me eating my pillow so he wouldn't hear me howling with glee.

 

[Kathy in FL]

CHAPTER 26 (part 1)

My sixteenth birthday was to be marked by explosions just like my thirteenth birthday had been, only for completely different reasons.

After Abel and I worked out the "promise that we'd eventually make promises" things calmed back down between us. The needs were still there but we had the wants under control. We didn't exactly keep it a secret from Daniel but I didn't sit him down and try and explain it either. We were satisfied with the way things were for a while and Daniel didn't seem to mind that Abel and I spent time together or sat next to each other either. Besides, there was work to do and that is where most of our energy went.

Summer is when people are supposed to prepare and stock up for winter. The previous winter had been hard but we did OK, a heck of a lot better than many people did if you could believe half of what we heard. But there were no doubts in our minds that this winter would be harder. There were no major storehouses of grains left. There were no major ones left anywhere in the world as far as we could tell from listening to the radio. Not only did this take a significant basic food item away from people but it also took it away from animals. Commercially raised cattle were fed grains to supplement foraging, especially when the weather was cold. It wasn't cold yet but it was going to get that way as sure as God made little green apples.

All of the large herds of animals were confiscated by the Chinese and those that weren't fell to the Blue Hats or the hungry hoards that left the bug cities in search of food. We knew there had to be farm animals out there someplace but I'm sure if people had them they were keeping them well hidden.

Abel caught that pig the same week it had escaped … and shortly after that the rest of its litter mates and its Momma as well. We knew there was a passel of hogs wandering the valley because we'd find evidence of them rooting up things and doing all kinds of damage, but there was no way we could fence them in and take care of all of them. We figured that they'd be the perfect size for slaughter once the weather cooled off enough that we could do it outside.

The pigs were our meat for the coming year and maybe some after that if I used up all of the cured meat first and saved the canned stuff for last. We took a couple of deer but only for immediate use. Those deer were scrawny and lean. We needed fat and I wondered if I would have to start putting lard in everything I cooked.

I missed summer fruit so much that it was almost a physical pain. I would have given just about anything for a mouthful of fresh blackberries or a couple of wild plums. On night I dreamed of strawberries and woke up crying.

I wasn't the only one missing something. Daniel would just go crazy sometimes for something sour. I caught him eating a patch of sheep sorrel just the lemony taste … but he hadn't even washed it. When I told him there could have been bugs on it he said, "Don't care. Abel says that bugs are just protein and I want my sour candy."

Abel too seemed to crave stuff. One day it would be seafood and another day it would be anything salty. Salt I could give him but the ocean was way far away. I felt so bad. He worked even harder than I did. He seemed terribly determined that whatever Hakim was up to would not affect us and that we would outlive Heart Rot. It was Daniel that actually came up with a solution for Abel's cravings.

Sometimes it helped Abel to talk about his life before he joined the Peacekeepers. It was a world away yet at the same time I sensed the same types of rhythm and flow that I had grown up with. The big difference was the stories of his uncle that was fishermen and how they would bring seafood to the farm. Of the fifteen children his grandmother had birthed, only one had turned to the sea to make a living but apparently he had done quite well. One night Abel drew a picture for me describing how his grandmother cooked the seafood because he was so tired he kept sliding into Spanish and using words I didn't know.

Daniel looked at the picture and said, "The little ones like to nibble my toes."

Abel thought Daniel was making up stories but I knew different … you see Daniel doesn't make up stories, his imagination doesn't work that way. He's too literal. When he said the little ones nibbled his toes, that is exactly what he meant. "Daniel, can you remember where they nibbled you?"

"My toes," he answered.

Trying not to grimace at the fact that I'd asked too general a question I changed it to, "The place Daniel. Where did they nibble your toes?"

"Mr. Bo's farm," he told me completely engrossed in building a tower with sticks that he'd collected that day.

I looked at Abel who was trying to figure out where the conversation had gone to. "Do you know what crawdaddies are?"

"Like this," he said pointing to his picture. "Only they are small?" At my nod he said, "Si. We call them cangrejos. Wait … does Daniel say he knows where there are cangrejos?"

I changed my plans from pickling to fishing for the next day. "Do you remember the big red barn we saw that had been struck by lightning?"

"Si. Six kilometers to the south near the big tree that has fallen across the road." Abel was very precise when it came to directions.

I grinned and said, "That's the one. Mr. Bo went to our church and liked to grow his own bait. He loved fishing and supplied most of the fish fries that we had. Those big ponds on the back of his property must be what Daniel is talking about. I know you can eat crawdaddies and I'd be willing to try …"

Enthusiastically Abel nodded and said, "Si! The cangrejos are delicioso. My brother and cousins and I, we hunted them in the rivers. Sometimes we caught many, sometimes none. When we caught many we would boil some for our lunch and take the rest back to Abuela who made them into what you call a stew."

Afraid that maybe I had over promised I said, "I don't know for sure if there are any left but it is worth a try. If nothing else maybe we can get some fish and make some more fish jerky since you seem to like it so well."

And that is exactly what we did … for three days running. I never thought Abel was going to get full of eating crawdaddies but eventually he did. I canned quite a bit of the tail and claw meat – and wasn't that more than a little work to get enough out of something that is barely four inches long – and we also got quite a bit of fish from the three fish ponds on the property; some I canned and some I dried and a little Abel smoked.

Abel continued to take Daniel on outings to make sure he could take care of himself … or at least reinforce the skills he would need to try. They would also bring back the forage he would find. In the beginning I was a little worried about what they were eating during the day but after a while as they brought me samples back I realized my brother was very, very good. I really had been doing too much for him; I was trying too hard to be Momma.

All of their hiking and scouting had one bad side effect; they started losing weight. Well, not weight exactly but I could tell they were getting very lean. That's actually when I started to notice my own problems; my monthlies changed … it wasn't unusual for me to go a couple of extra weeks between but I'd never completely missed one month, much less two.

It scared me at first and I started to lose my appetite again. Abel noticed. Ugh, that was some conversation trying to explain things to him. "Querida, you are losing much weight again. You must eat."

"Abel, you … you don't understand."

"I understand American girls are too skinny. And I understand that you might do such a thing to please me but it does not. I do not mind that there is more to hug and kiss."

I rolled my eyes. "Abel, don't take this the wrong way, but while I would do a lot for you causing … uh …"

He'd caught me. "Causing … uh … what?" he asked mocking me just a bit in frustration.

I sighed. "It is girl stuff. I'm not going to have this conversation with you."

As soon as he figured out what I was referring to he got slightly embarrassed then got a look on his face like he was going into battle and I just knew I was gonna want to throw something at him before it was all done so I removed temptation and headed outside.

"You will have this conversation with me," he said as he followed me out of the cave, up the stairs and out of the sink. "Daniel is resting and we have the privacy."

"You really aren't going to let this go are you?"

Getting a very stubborn look on his face that reminded me of Daniel he said, "No." And boy did it sound final.

Refusing to look at him I said, "I don't know what the problem is. My body is just doing things it isn't supposed to do. So leave off already."

"I will not 'leave off' so stop saying it. It wastes breath. And what exactly is your … er … body doing that it isn't supposed to?" I didn't know how to say it. I mean I did but I was afraid it was going to strangle me to try. "Querida …," he whispered scooting close. "Talk to me."

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 26 (Part 2)

I was proud of myself for not elbowing him in the stomach … hard … because he was trying to talk me around by being all sweet and stuff. Eventually I managed to squeak out what was happening.

He asked thoughtfully, "And you have no pain?"

"No. And what would you know about it anyway?"

He snorted, "My cousins and aunts. There were times you did not bother them or they would burn you at the stake just by looking at you. Tio Berto, he explained it to us boys. He said … well … never mind. I was young and he made a … how do you say … impression."

"Honestly Abel," I said trying not to smile at the traumatized expression on his face. "You talk like all the women in your family were gargoyles."

"Only sometimes. Most of the time they could be sweet … but you did not cross them and during certain times you did not bother them. That is fact Querida. I notice you are different. Perhaps it is because you do not … er … let your feelings show that you have problems?"

Boy, did he have his facts wrong. "It isn't like that for all females. Some have it worse than others. It's never really bothered me." In for a penny in for a pound I decided to just be like I was with everything else. "I was regular as a clock before Heart Rot."

"You … you were very young. Si? My cousins did not … er … join the club until they were the age you are now."

"Wow," I said trying to imagine it. "Uh … I've been … er … mature since the summer before I started sixth grade. Mom said the women on her side of the family develop early."

He looked a little scandalized at the idea and then skipped passed the whole subject. Then he said something I really wanted to slug him for. "The perhaps it is like the cabras."

"Excuse me? I'm like a goat?!"

He realized he'd put his foot in it and backed up. "No … not like a goat. Like the problem we had with the cabras one summer that it did not rain enough. There was not enough food for the does and they had no desire for the bucks. Abuelo, he call the … the vet? Si? Yes, he called the vet and the man said that just like with the chickens, if they do not get enough to eat then they do not make … er …." He stopped, at a loss for words.

I supposed I could have continued being upset but instead I asked, "You mean because the goats didn't get enough to eat, or get enough of the right stuff, they didn't … uh … cycle?"

"Si … they did not go into heat until after Abuelo changed their diet and added a supplement that the vet gave him a paper for. I remember because it was a bad year for everything and there were too few kids in the spring."

"Maybe. I know girls who ran track at the high school sometimes said the best thing about it was that they didn't have their monthlies."

He gave me a funny look. "You mean that the girls did not like to be women?"

I snorted, "Forget it, guys so don't get it. You aren't saddled with something that wants to take a week away from you every month for most of your life."

He shrugged, "Perhaps not but Uncle Berto said that it was the balance. Women are the ones who give life so part of the time they feel like death. Men, who can't give life, have to work themselves to death so that the women, when they have the bebé they do not have to work so hard."

A little mollified despite being forced to have the conversation in the first place I told him, "You Uncle Berto sounds pretty smart."

"Si. Yes, he was. He was the one that wanted to send me to university. Next to Abuelo, Tio Berto …" When he ended it on a shrug I knew there was something more to it.

"Abel?"

"Uncle Berto died. He had a … a heart condition like Abuelo. He had no children of his own so when the medicine got hard to find he secretly gave Abuelo his. Abuelo didn't know until it was too late. Tio Berto died on a trip to the city to try and find more medicine."

Sometimes saying that you're sorry for something isn't enough. Abel was what Momma would have called hot-blooded but at the same time there were things that were off limits, things he didn't like showing emotion over. I think his Uncle Berto's death was one of them; that the man had meant a lot to him. It seemed strange that we had known each other so long and this was the first time he'd ever mentioned the man by name. It only made it more obvious it was a wound that hadn't healed. I hugged him and after a moment he returned my embrace and we sat that way for a while then he straightened up and said, "I must think on this. I need your padre's books and the diccionario."

Using the medical books Dad had included in the library, Abel laboriously plowed through them, using the dictionary when he didn't know a word and if that didn't work asking me if I knew what it meant. Two nights later he told me that I needed iron, protein, and fat. And he had a plan to make sure that I got them.

He became even more determined that the pigs did well; they would be the protein and fat source. Any other wild meat we could find would also help. Iron would come from spinach, turnip greens, chickpeas, pumpkin, and parsley as well as any bean I could come up with. I was reminded once again about how Momma would talk about it being more important that the food was filling and tasted good, it needed to be good for you as well.

But sometimes you just need something to fill in the corners of your stomach and though nutrition is super important getting enough was important too. It was crazy how much time and energy we spent on food alone. And if the food wasn't for the here-and-now it was being put away for the future, especially the winter. For both us and our animals.

I couldn't dry everything, for one thing that would have taken more time and space than I had to work with since there were only so many trays on the dehydrator. I canned what I could from the grow rooms. I also canned forage that Abel and Daniel brought back – or that I'd found when I went with them – out on the ledge so that I wouldn't accidentally bring Heart Rot into the grow rooms. But canning things plain just was too monotonous. Momma said that a nutritious diet was important but that variety in flavor and texture kept the appetite sharp. One of the ways that she dealt with this was by pickling a lot of stuff.

We had a whole grow room devoted to cucumbers just for Daniel and they included a good variety of pickling cucumbers. And thanks to Daniel's green thumb they produced abundantly. I canned half-sours for Abel and I and full-sour dills by the quart for Daniel. I had three gallons of mustardy dill pickles fermenting before the month was out. Others included spicy crock pickles, bread and butter pickles, sweet pickles, ice water pickles, and that was only the tip of the iceberg.

But cucumbers aren't the only things you can pickle. No siree Bob. I brined snap beans, cabbage to make sauerkraut, green cherry tomatoes, carrots, beets, zucchini … basically if it didn't move I would try pickling it. And I also did some things that Momma had learned from other people at the fairs she entered contests in. Daniel loves the Vietnamese pickled bean sprouts she learned to make and the soured mustard greens from the same country. I liked Persian Sugar-Pickled Garlic.

To make the sugar-pickled garlic you start with four heads of garlic that you've separated into cloves, but not peeled. Then you put two cups of red wine vinegar, two cups of water, one cup of white sugar, six whole cloves, and two tablespoons of black peppercorns into a heavy saucepan. Dump the cloves of garlic into that mess and bring it to a boil for ten minutes and then turn it down and simmer it for another five. Take the pan off the heat and let it cool to room temperature before putting it into a glass jar or ceramic crock and then putting a lid on it and putting it in a cool place for it to "work" for a month. You can eat the cloves right out of the jar at that point and boy are they good.

We were really working hard and getting a lot accomplished but with any good thing there are not so good things that tend to balance it out. First off, it was obvious that the people that had come through in the spring had done a lot of damage to the ecosystem. We had to travel through the whole valley and not just around our place like Daniel and I had the year before, to keep from picking any one place bare. It wasn't something we wanted to do but it looked like we were going to have to make another long trip up into the BLM.

"Querida, we will bring the chickens in and I will secure the cerdos – the pigs – in your padre's old barn. It is far enough from the road and there is much growing in there. The pond will give them water and coolness and the barn will shade them so they will not get sunburnt. I do not wish to ask but I cannot carry enough by myself to make the trip worth it. And if Daniel should become frightened …"

I gave him such a look. "You didn't really think I was going to be left behind did you?"

His frown slowly turned into a big grin. "Let us say I was hoping that you would decide to come along."

"Uh huh … good save there," I told him with a grin of my own.

I couldn't decide whether to bring the crossbow or the compound but in the end decided on the compound in the end because the crossbow made too much noise and we were after stealth just in case there were other people up there as well. I also wanted to bring my recurve bow but decided it was just too much to carry both bows and the arrows for them.

We limited the amount of stuff we were packing in so that we could pack out more. I also planned on foraging for most of our meals. Daniel packed his collecting equipment. Abel went loaded for bear … literally. Neither one of us wanted a repeat of the bear incident. It wasn't a good time to go bear hunting but if one fell in our lap we weren't going to complain about it … or sit around and wait to be made into a some bear's midday snack either.

We started out before first light so that we would get to the steeper elevation as the sun rose. The sun hadn't been up more than a few minutes before we heard the first scream.

 

[Kathy in FL]

CHAPTER 27

All three of us tensed; all four if you count Dog whose ruff was standing straight up. I saw Abel's brief look of resignation and how it bowed his shoulders with the weight of his feelings. Then he put on that person that he doesn't like being just like he shimmied into clothes that were too tight for comfort.

He looked at me and started to say quietly, "Querida …"

I forestalled what I knew was coming by saying, "Whatever is happening is taking place further up the hill, probably at that clearing we found the mountain laurel in last time. There's some boulders between here and there and we'll tuck Daniel in with Dog to watch him."

He saw I wasn't going to just stand by and let him check things out alone. He'd been alone in the fight too long and I was just the person to fix take and watch his back too. He sighed, "On my orders … Si?"

I agreed to follow his lead. If he wanted to go in first I wasn't going to argue, but I wasn't going to let him do it all alone. Even knowing how things turned out I would still have given a lot not to have seen what I did when we reached the level area.

It was a camp of the wrong kind of people. They had a bunch of kids tied up and one little girl was separated from the rest and they had her tied down. She was unconscious now and I thanked God for it. What I saw turned my stomach. Suddenly that old joke about the farmer and his prize pig being too good to eat more than one ham at a time wasn't funny anymore.

I don't know what I looked like but Abel looked like what I imagined an archangel might as he stepped out and started shooting any adult that wasn't tied up. I followed his lead and when I emptied the magazine in the Beretta M9 that I was carrying I picked up a machete from a woman that I had shot just in time to stop an attack by a man that looked more than half crazed. The guy was inches away from sinking an axe into Abel's back.

I know it didn't take long, barely minutes. The crazies didn't seem to have much strategy beyond mob warfare. That's when I heard, "Dacey! Dacey! Help me with Duncan … please!"

I looked at who was calling my name and had to blink my eyes a couple of times. For a second I thought it was Monica then I realized she was too young. It was snobby Charlene … only she didn't look too proud anymore. Her clothes were ripped, her hair matted, and she was streaked with stuff that I didn't even want to know what it was. I walked over while Abel checked the perimeter of the clearing.

"Charlene?" I asked just to make sure.

"Yeah. Look, we need to get out of here. The guys from town will be here soon."

I called Abel over at a run and asked her to repeat what she'd been trying to say. "I'm not sure where all the kids here are from. Some are from town but a lot of them are from Amish town and then there are some strays."

I looked at Abel and explained, "Amish Town is what everyone called the area where the Amish and Mennonites tend to congregate and have all of their own stores and such." What I didn't need to explain is that it was where Monica and Josef had been heading.

"Yeah. And we've got to get out of here. These Old Order kids won't fight … a lot of them are in no shape to anyway … but we can run and we've got to do it fast."

Abel let me do the talking so his accent didn't bring up questions he'd rather not be asked. "Have the cannibals taken over the town?"

"Kinda yeah, kinda no. This weird guy came along and started this cult thing. Real bizzare-o , repent and you'll be saved by him kind of stuff. A lot of people bought into his act because he fed them. He is Almanzor's enemy so a lot of people swung his way for that reason alone. Mom was like that … only once you're in it is too late. You don't figure out until later that they aren't giving out meat but … well, look around and you'll get the picture. Mom followed this guy into the cult because he said there was all the food we could handle but … anyway they tried to take us from her and segregate us with the other kids. When she fought them over it they killed her." Her voice dripped with contempt when she added, "Most of the people in town play dumb but they all know what's going on. A group is supposed to come up to get the next batch of … supplies." She looked around. "This group had just started putting things together when you guys busted in like the cavalry. We appreciate it and all but look we've gotta get out of here!"

I didn't hear anything but Abel swung around and nearly gunned down the men that came out of the forest until he saw how they were dressed. An older man with a beard stepped forward and said, "We mean you no harm. All we want are our children."

"Josef?" I asked. "Do any of you know Josef? Or Monica?"

Another party of men dressed in a similar fashion rushed into the clearing breathing hard. "Well … Uncle you can tell Grandfather that God answered his prayers."

Abel stepped away as the men gathered up the children from their families. Charlene's eyes had gone hard with suspicion when she'd heard her sister's name. I told her, "Don't blow a gasket Char, this is Josef."

"I know who he is. Jackson said he killed our sister."

Josef looked outraged before shutting down. I looked at her and said, "Jackson is full of pig manure." I turned to Josef, "Will you take these two. I think Duncan is hurt."

Josef shook himself and immediately went into medic-mode. He told us over his shoulder, "Monica is fine. Angry that I insisted on taking some of the young, single men and coming after the others in case …"

The older man walked up and finished his sentence for him. "In case God did not answer our prayers Josef?"

Josef sighed. "No Uncle. In case God wanted to act through us for you and the children." He turned to Charlene and told her, "You are welcome to come. Your sister has been very anxious for you."

Charlene looked at me and asked like she was afraid to believe it, "Is Monica really alive?"

"A heck of a lot more alive than Jackson will be if I ever see that scum dog again. I know he is your half-brother and all but I'm pretty sure he turned traitor and nearly got us killed."

Charlene and Jackson had never been particularly close and it was pretty easy to swing her against him. I heard her whisper to herself, "So Monica was right and Mom was wrong." She nodded like she had answered herself and then looked at Josef. "Do you swear to take us to Monica?"

Josef looked slightly uncomfortable at her words but said, "I don't swear to anything however … I will tell you that I will lay down my life to get you there."

While Josef went around checking other former captives Abel leaned down and asked me to ask something of Charlene. I turned back to her and said, "Charlene, I've got a couple of questions. I know you want to get going as soon as possible … and you will … but we need some answers."

She looked at me suspiciously but sighed and said, "Go ahead."

"How much of the town is involved?"

She shrugged, "You mean with Almanzor or Richard?"

"Who is Richard?"

"The cult guy I told you about. Richard King; I doubt that's his real name. He sure doesn't look like a Richard and he likes to dress up in weird Renaissance clothes and for people to call him Richard the Lionhearted or Richard the Great."

"Oh," I said. There wasn't much more to be said since "Richard" did sound a few French fries short of a Happy Meal. "But how many people are involved either way?"

"Almanzor still controls the biggest section of town but not most of the people. A lot of the people are loyal to Richard because he feeds them. They've been so hungry for so long that they pretend it isn't what it is. It's like they've hypnotized themselves so that they can't see or admit the truth. What Richard's people don't have are the guns – which is what Almanzor does have - so it is kind of at a stalemate and Richard and Almanzor seem to like it that way. I heard these warped freaks," she said kicking one of the corpses. "Say that Almanzor will sometimes give them a prisoner when he wants to get rid of them permanently without actually doing the killing."

Shocked by the answers I was getting I asked, "How many people are left in the town?"

She shrugged like she could care less. "How am I supposed to know? Not near as many as there used to be but probably a lot if you are talking about attacking it. Which would be stupid if you are. Even if you could knock Richard the Nut off his throne you still have Almanzor's group to deal with."

Josef came over to talk with Abel and I ran to check on Daniel who was waiting patiently eating a pickle. I brought him back up with me and went over to the man that Josef had called uncle.

"Excuse me … sir … excuse me."

He turned to look at me and then smiled at Daniel who seemed to recognize him. "Daniel." Daniel gave the man a hug and big smile. He turned to look at me and said somberly, "Your father was a good blacksmith."

That was probably the closest he could come up with for saying that he was sorry my father had been killed. I never have understood all the social rules that the Old Order Amish have and even the Mennonite kids I went to school with didn't always say what you would expect them to say under some circumstances. Their grief is very private and they don't memorialize people in any way … for Josef's uncle to tell me something good about my father as a way of commiserating was pretty liberal in that community.

I answered simply, "Yes sir. And he was a good father. He spoke of the work you did together." The man nodded. "Sir? I … I have a favor to ask. Could Daniel come stay with you for a few days?"

He tried to hide the surprise from his face. I rushed on to explain. "I know it is a lot to ask but … but he's like you and your family. He isn't meant for … for the kind of work that Abel and I are. He's innocent of that stuff. He'll be a good helper, just tell him something specific. He's especially good with plants and foraging."

Abel and Josef noticed my conversation and came over. "Day-cee?" Abel asked.

I looked at him. "You're going to need help and someone to cover your back and these people need to shepherd the children away from all of this."

Abel's face went blank while Josef's eyebrows went up into his hairline. I looked at the other young men who had gathered around whose expressions ran the gamut. Addressing them all I said, "I know. I understand. God sets people missions … jobs for them to do here on Earth. Your mission is what it is and Abel's and mine is what it is. Just don't forget, we're both getting our orders from the same place."

There was a little more back and forth but in the end Abel understood that there was no way I was letting him go off on his own. When Daniel found out that Dog was going with him and that there would be chickens to take care of and things to build he was as easy as a lamb. That as much as anything told me I had done the right thing.

The injured children, and some of them I couldn't look at their injuries without knowing the cause, were carried or helped along by the uninjured ones. The adult men surrounded and acted as guides and helped them down the trail. Josef stopped before he went into the tree line and assured me, "I'll keep an eye on him."

I wanted to curl in on myself for a moment as I watched Daniel wave before going happily off with the rest of the children but I knew that I was doing the right thing. Where Abel and I were going was no place to take him and Dog would have been another burden; better to send her to keep an extra eye on Daniel.

Abel put his hand on my shoulder. "Querida, you do not have to do this."

"Neither do you. But where you go, I go. Your mission is my mission." I looked up into his face and saw a kind of closed expression. "What?"

"You will see me … do things, things I never wanted you to know that I was capable of."

Catching him off guard I hugged him though we were both weighted down with our packs. "Oh Abel … I've known you could be a boogie man from the very beginning. It's the only way you could have survived. I've got a little boogie man in me too." Stepping back I gave him a serious look. "The difference is you only guess at the townies being corrupted and I know they are. I know what and who they used to be. And I believe Charlene about what things are like now, just like I believe you when you tell me what a bad guy that Hakim dude is. What I don't know is what you plan on doing about it."

He sighed and we started up a path that would take us over the shortest peak so that we could go down towards the town. "I need to see for myself that these things we have been told are true. If they are … if they are then we will need to see if we cannot cause some problems for them but it will be hard."

I smiled a little wickedly. "Maybe not as hard as you think. Dad used to say I was as good at making trouble as he was when he was my age."

He turned briefly and nearly stumbled when he got a good look at my face. "Day-cee … this is not a game."

Trying to look less like I was ready to start a war told him, "I know it is serious. Very serious. Did I treat it like a game when I … uh … caused a diversion so that you could escape?"

He snorted, "A diversion? You nearly brought a mountain down on us."

"Oh I did not!" I told him huffily. "It was just a big ledge and it was only because the rock outcropping that was holding it up was looser than I expected it to be."

"Uh huh," he said disbelievingly.

After a mile of hiking I asked him, "Just how big are the problems that you want to cause?"

I didn't think he had heard me but then he said, "I am not sure. It would be good if Hakim and this Richard turned against each other but if they are truly stalemated we will have to see which one to help first. Give the wrong side the push then they will simply take over before the other side can muster enough strength to retaliate."

"Hey, how come you speak more fluently when we are discussing strategy?"

I couldn't see his face when he answered but it sounded like the truth. "Because those are the words I know best. I was an interpreter between units."

Teasing him a bit I said, "Sure. And you never used your helpless routine to get your way with me?"

I could hear the grin in his voice when he said, "Ah, Querida, I never said that I didn't. Abuelo told me that a man must use the tools he has, poor though they may be."

We were both grinning stupidly when we hear movement just up ahead of us. Abel turned and put his finger to his lips to hush me and then we faded off the trail. We watched as six men came over the rise and then stop and rest.

One of the men complained, "Whew. This trail gets worse every time we have to take it. Why does Richard want the pig farm so far from town anyway?"

Another answered him and said, "Because he does; besides it would stink things up and people might take notice and feel like they'd have to do something about it."

The first man said, "Still …"

Another added, "Don't question Richard or you might go one day and never come back."

That shut the complainer up. Two of the men looked like they were in a stupor. Their cheeks were sunken and they walked with a strange gate. Of the six, I never heard those two utter a sound. They sat when the other sat and stood when they stood. They had a vacant look like their mind was on a vacation.

The group of six was obviously the ones from town that Charlene had spoken of. I only recognized one of them, a young man that came to our church with his grandparents when he was on break from his college. He was one of the ones walking in a stupor.

Abel raised his rifle and prepared to shoot. I put my hand on his arm and showed him my bow. I whispered next to his ear. Let me go above a few more yards. I'll pick off the ones in the back, block a retreat, and you'll be able to take the ones in the front without so much worry that they'll be able to get away. He nodded.

I carefully made my way up pushing through the rhododendrons that had just finished blooming. As I watched the men pass I did exactly what I'd told Abel I would do … only not for the reasons I gave him. I wasn't after revenge but there was some vengefulness to my feelings. I'd grown up around the town. Dad always said that you are responsible for something once you claim part ownership of it.

The town was mine even if it was only a small part. If it had become diseased by something it was my responsibility to do something about it. It was my place to open the dance. And I did not want Abel to always think that if he hadn't pulled the first trigger we could avoid what was coming.

The problem that Hakim represented was different. He was something from outside. Something that the grown ups should have dealt with back when he came. But they hadn't. In fact many of the adults seem to have helped the Peacekeepers out by either doing their dirty work for them or by doing nothing. But what Charlene told us was like a cancer inside. The townspeople were the malignant tumor. I didn't know why I had to be the one to play doctor but I wasn't going to turn down the job either.

I'm very good with my bow and at that distance a killing shot was as easy as if a deer had stood there with a target painted on them. I decided to think about the fact that I was shooting men and not deer some other time. I felt what I was doing was a mission … one that wasn't very nice but that was necessary … but I also knew even the best soldier needed to keep the communication lines open between them and God or the harsh things they had to live with would weigh them down and eat them alive.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 28

Fffftt. Fffffftt.

The only fly in the ointment was that since I was shooting from the high ground the ones I hit fell forward knocking a couple of the other ones down.

Fffftt.

I got one more that had started to run but Abel is the one who actually took him out, as well as the other three, all in quick succession. I ran up to look over the rise and make sure there were no stragglers. Nothing as far as the eye could see, and much of the lower trail was visible as the BLM had widened it in anticipation of connecting to another major trail that eventually connected to the Appalachian Trail. I was remembering how Dad had considered it a big waste of money since widening the trail would only create erosion as I made my way back to Abel.

By the time I reached him, Abel had already stripped the men of their gear and was rolling them over a steep incline. "Take the ammo for your Beretta." Upon hearing his voice I looked more closely at him. His tone was gruffer and his face was set in hard lines. I knew better than to distract him. I also decided not to say anything about it because I knew he was going to be troubled enough when it was all over.

We cached most of the gear off of the men off the trail but I split all of the matches and lighters between us making sure that Abel didn't object when I pocketed an honest to goodness Zippo candle lighter and a nearly full can of lighter fluid to go with it. I've always been a bit of a firebug and the flashy lighter had been one of the things I had hoped to get for my thirteenth birthday. I found out later that Momma was the one that put the kibosh on it; Dad had promised I could have his for Christmas if I promised to use it wisely. But the Blue Hats had taken him away and he had been carrying it that day.

A peremptory "Come!" was all I got as a warning before Abel took off down the trail. I knew it would be dark before we got there and that we might meet company. Within a mile of town Abel finally stopped. He looked at me, still that frozen man and then he softened a bit. "Querida … I …"

"We need to find some place and let me fix you something to eat. Might not be a bad idea to purify some water to fill our canteens either. You can tell me more of your plan."

He sighed and ran a dirty knuckle down my cheek. "Si. Do you know the … place where they take the trash?"

Thinking for a second I realized he meant the city dump. "Yeah. I'm surprised they haven't burnt it over."

Not only had they not burnt it over The Dump was roughly five times as big as it had been the last time I saw it. The smell should have been horrendous but it wasn't. I mean it smelled bad but not like rotting food or anything like that. Guess there wasn't any food to rot, or any that had been thrown in the dump had degraded long ago.

Mushrooms grew everywhere but they were the poisonous kind so I didn't go near them; I didn't want to track the spores anywhere else.. There were also several poisonous plants growing throughout the trails through the dump like Black Henbane and Bloodroot. Finally we found a hidden spot out of the worst of the stink but well back from the little foot traffic we could see from our vantage point.

Before our hands got any dirtier we ate some jerky and a few spoonfuls of nut butter. "Sorry. I had hoped to have a better dinner for you and Daniel tonight."

"Hush Querida. I am sorry to drag you into this madness."

I leaned my head on his shoulder for a brief moment and told him, "I didn't recall being dragged any place. As a matter of fact I kinda invited myself along … with an or else attached to it."

He didn't smile but I felt some of the tension leave his shoulders. "True. But still I am sorry for you to see this."

"I can't hide with my head in the sand anymore. Daniel is safe and as soon as we take care of this we'll go get him and go back home."

He looked at me and sighed. "You think it will be so easy."

"Well … maybe not easy, but certainly necessary. Can't you feel it?"

He shifted his shoulders and said, "Si. But that is me."

"So now you know it is me too. Now, that you are here and we both sense that this place is pretty sick, have you got more plan?"

He nodded. "You will not like it."

"But I'll probably like it better than what I'm feeling right now so give already and stop trying to protect me so much."

I got a twisted smile at that and he said, "We know that all of the bridges except for one that connects the town to the corridor that leads to the interstate have been blown. This bit of land is essentially cut off." At my nod he said, "You will think me mad."

"I don't think you're crazy … except for the good kind of crazy."

"Mmm. Thank you Querida … I think." After we both gave a brief smile it was time to get serious. "This cannot be allowed to continue Day-cee. It is an … an aborrecimiento … abomination. I am no priest but surely God did not mean for such things to be under His sun. Soon this Richard, he will have so many people on his side that he will risk pushing Hakim out."

"But Hakim has all of the guns."

"Guns are only good when you have enough trained people to operate them. If enough people leave Hakim for this Richard they will overwhelm the perimeter. They will suffer casualties yes, but in the end they will have people and the guns to use them. Hakim was satisfied to have his little caliph where he could be all powerful. This Richard sounds like he will not … he will branch out and continue to collect followers. Si … that is how I see it."

Thinking about it I said, "OK, if what you think will happen is the most likely scenario what can we do to stop it getting to that point?"

"We must stop it now. I had thought to have a war of … of attrition … between Hakim and the crazy Richard but I do not believe there is time. Look at the people going about. You can tell the difference between the area controlled by Richard and controlled by Hakim … there are no people in most of the town but in the part controlled by the Richard there are many people. They are bold, like they have shaken off their terror of Hakim. This is not good."

"It's not good that people threw off Hakim's reign of terror?"

He shook his head, "Not for these, under the influence of the crazy Richard. If they had thrown off their terror sooner it would be a good thing, but not now."

"Fine. Hakim is now good and Richard is the new bad in town."

He shook his head. "No, Hakim is still bad … as bad as the crazy Richard just in a different way. They both must perish."

I was about to say something else but forgot what when I realized he'd really meant to use the word "perish." "You mean they both must die."

With no hesitation he said, "Si. Yes. But it is more than that. The people here, they … they are …"

Picking up where he had started to stumble I said, "You don't think that the people here in town will go back to some version of normal even if both Hakim and Richard are taken out."

He sighed, "Yes … that is what I think."

We were both silent for a while before I surprised him. "I agree. They might change if they are forced to, but not as long as they stay where they've developed certain … habits. The only way we are going to get the vultures to move their roost is if we get rid of this one."

Giving me a suspicious look as I started gazing into the dump Abel said, "It will take more than burning this place to drive them away."

Casually I said, "Oh, I know. Got a question for you."

Suspicion turned to concern and he said, "Yes?"

"If I figured out a way to build some … stuff … would you be able to get us around town to use it?"

 

[Kathy in FL]

I'd like to remind everyone that this is a work of fiction. I hope the readers of this work are smart enough to think before trying some of the crazy stuff my characters get up to but just in case here is a word to the wise ... while the projects mentioned in the following chapter are real, they are not necessarily advisable. You reproduce them then you take full responsibility for the consequences. Mother Hen will now jump off the soap box and proceed to the rest of t he story.

-

Chapter 29

Concern turned to alarm. "What kind of stuff?"

"Oh … this and that. I'll have to look around but Dad and I used to find the most interesting things in the dump when we went scavenging."

"Day-cee …."

I turned to him and said, "I don't tell you how to do your thing and you don't tell me how to do mine … Querido."

He snapped, "Ah … now you use my own words against me."

I grinned wickedly and said, "Yep."

Still suspicious he said, "Very well. As soon as you how do you say … do your thing … I will tell you how we will use … er … your thing."

There really is a ton of simple household items that can be used to cause all types of mischief. I gathered Styrofoam, glass bottles, what looked like pieces from an old hair weave, some newspaper, rubber bands, a half full bottle of hand sanitizer, some powdered pool chlorine, a small jar of powdered sugar, some Ritz die, some stump remover, and some old broken fireworks. I also found some old fuel in the dump's generator shack and a few other odds and ends that I needed.

Abel asked, "Do I want to know what you are going to do with this … stuff?"

I smiled and said, "Sure. Let's see I'm going to make napalm, smoke bombs, and stink bombs. Will that help you do what you want?"

When he didn't answer me I looked at his face only to find him simply staring at me. "Querida … remind me never, ever underestimate you."

"Well, that's a given," I told him with a grin. "Seriously Abel, will this help? I could probably come up with something else but this is the quickest and easiest."

"If we burn them out … but small fires will be easy to put out."

I got my mischief brain cells going to try and work around the problem. "OK, we start fires in empty buildings first. They won't be noticed until they are too far gone to stop. Second, we don't need to burn every building but maybe every third or fourth building. If we can get a fire going good they'll start the houses beside them on fire anyway. For the occupied buildings we can distract them with the smoke and stink bombs in one place but start the real fire in another area." Thinking for a few minutes I added, "The napalm will be really hard to put out if we spread it around a lot. It can also be used in Molotov cocktail type bombs. The real trick is going to be getting enough fires going at the same time … or make them seem like they start at the same time."

"I will see what I can see. You … er … do whatever it is you do to make … stuff. I need to scout and see what I can find that will help us further."

We went back and forth a little about what I would do if he wasn't back before morning with neither one of us completely satisfied but off he went and I remained to play mad scientist.

First I moved into a protected area, but one that gave me full advantage of the bright moonlight. I started by making the smoke bombs because they took time to set up. The stump remover was primarily made of potassium nitrate. I measured out some into a container that I had placed over an open flame. I added in nearly an equal measure of sugar that I had in my pack. I slowly "cooked" the two dry ingredients until the sugar started to carmelize and continued stirring until I got what looked like peanut butter. Removing it from the flame I added a small measure of baking soda to slow the combustion. Once that was mixed in I added a box of Ritz dye and mixed that together. I spooned the colored goop into a paper tub and then stuck a small stick into the middle to create a well.

Each smoke bomb would have to cure for one hour. At the end of the hour I took the stick out and then stuck in a piece of fuse from the old fireworks and held it in place with a little stuffing I ripped out of an old sofa pillow. Then came the hard part; I had to sacrifice my roll of duct tape. I wrapped each tube completely making sure I left a hole for the smoke to escape from around where the fuse was.

I also made napalm using the gas and the Styrofoam. I put some gas in several glass jars I found. Into the gas I started putting the Styrofoam. The gas melted the Styrofoam and you just kept feeding it more and more Styrofoam until there was no gas left in the jar and everything was this sticky jellied mess. This was dangerous stuff because once it started burning it was hard to put out. It burned so hot that it would catch just about anything on fire … including your hands if you were so careless to get it on you. And the burn from it was horrific. To impress on me how serious I was to take it Dad made me watch documentaries about napalm from the Vietnam era.

The powdered chlorine was really bad stuff as well. First off I had to crushed the granules into a fine powder, then I added some of the powdered sugar that I had found. I was a little regretful of using it the way I was but decided it wasn't worth the risk of contamination to use it for any other purpose. The powder that was made by mixing the crushed chlorine with the powdered sugar would burn and make a terrible, lung burning odor. But there was another product that it made. Once the powdered had been burned it made a kind of puffy mess that when it was lighted would burn like plain potassium nitrate would … fast and super hot.

The stink bombs were the easiest to make. I placed some of the hair from the hair weaves in the middle of a piece of newspaper. I added a couple of old rubber bands and then loosely folded the paper into a packet that I think tied with some old string I had found. When the packed was lit the paper would burn and then catch the hair and rubber on fire. The stench was very, very powerful.

I would have liked to have dozed a bit but I heard rats in the dump and had no desire to wake up and find myself as a meal for the beasties. It was a good thing I didn't sleep or I might have missed the argument over on what I had come to think of as the Richard side of town. Some folks did sound too happy about having to miss a meal.

Richard managed to get his people under control but it looked like a close thing but it was a little hard to tell in the dark. Perhaps Richard didn't have it as together as we worried. Or maybe people had just come to expect too much from him. I expect the Peter Principle was just as true during the apocalypse as it was before, perhaps even more.

Around midnight Abel came back to me. He was exhausted so I gave him some trail mix I had fixed for those in between times in case the forage was slim. After he had the chance to catch his breath he told me, "It is both worse and better than I had hoped."

I tried to wait patiently for him to explain. "The food warehouse is nearly empty. Hakim starves his prisoners and has his men on short rations. They are not at their best. But they are desperate and jump at shadows. From what I can tell from watching them there are factions within Hakim's men and if we do not succeed my guess is he will be assassinated soon."

He handed me a belt. When I found out they were grenades I nearly dropped them. "Ah but Day-cee, I thought you liked things that went boom."

I wanted to slug him. He could tell and smiled predatorily. "They guard the food with more zeal than they guard their munitions. I removed a good sum and cached it for us to get to in case we need it and in case the rest is destroyed during our offensive."

"Is that what we are doing then?"

"Si Querida … we are … uh … hmm … bringing it to them for a change. Yes?"

Oh yeah, and I was ready too. We decided to begin lying our traps. On the Hakim side of town there were a great many empty buildings for us to choose from to sabotage, almost too many buildings. It was sad low the tyrant had fallen. On the Richard side of town the area was small but there was more people. But, a lot of the buildings like store fronts in disrepair or damaged and weren't being used. We put napalm trails through a great many of those buildings and utilized anything that might be extra flammable like drapes, piles of old clothes, papers, anything really.

I picked up a few more odds and ends along the way as well … a container of air soft pellets, a jar of change, some tape, some paper caps for a toy gun, balloons, and real pay dirt when I found a stash of illegal fireworks including two whole bricks of black cats. Wahoo was I gonna have some fun.

I was coping by using my weird sense of humor but there was an underlayment of sobriety too. If we didn't pull it off the ground work for someone else's battle had been laid. But we knew that if we did manage to pull it off we would be creating a huge mess but I sure as heck had no intention of helping them to clean it up. There was evidence all over the place of the life people had been living with the biggest one being the fact that there were very few children of any age around.

With the materials laid and our reserves cached in various areas we had to decide which side to light up first. We had more ground to cover in the area that Hakim theoretically controlled but were likely to run into less interference if Abel's experience continued to be the norm. On the Richard side we had less ground to cover but the likelihood of interference due to the large number of people was greater. Either way we had run out of darkness and had to hide and rest for the next big push that we planned on starting around midnight of the following night.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 30

Abel and I took turns sleeping. It wasn't the most restful way to do things but it was the safest; one of us would be awake should anything start to pop before we were ready for it. We decided to stay in one of the abandoned buildings on the Richard side of town rather than try and sleep in the neutral territory of the dump. It wasn't just the rats that concerned us but how open it was; not to mention that once the heat of the day increased so did the smell. Gag worthy or not I was concerned that some enterprising person would come digging through the mess and find us.

The house we picked honestly wasn't much better; the smell was still extraordinarily bad but it saved us from prying eyes. No air conditioning and very much cleaning had led to mold and mildew. There were types of mushrooms growing in the basement that not even I had ever seen. We found a room without carpet upstairs and it was the least odiferous in the place. There were also mice in the walls … a lot of them from the sound of things. I guess that is what happens though when your primary predators – cats – are taken out while there is an overabundance of food … over population.

Just sitting around while Abel slept did not appeal to me at all. I had an excess of nervous energy and no real way to burn it off. Moving around the house too much was not an option. I didn't want to draw unwanted attention. That left putting the energy into making my mischief materials. My little projects kept my hands and mind busy and as a consequence my nerves calm, or at least calmer.

Despite my bravado to the contrary, I was scared. I prayed what we were doing was right and that it wouldn't get out of hand; but I wasn't so naive as to think no one was going to get hurt. Despite my horror, disgust, and anger at what the towns people on Richard's side were doing they were still people I grew up around. I didn't really want to see them dead with no chance to redeem themselves. I certainly didn't enjoy the idea that I was going to kill some of them though I knew it was a possibility. However I knew I was far down a path that soon there would be no turning from.

I was less ambivalent about Hakim's side but even there I didn't want to see people dead if it wasn't necessary. I knew there was a penalty or weight to my soul for each death I caused. I had already dealt with it with the other men that I had killed thus far. But killing in self-defense was different from what I was about to do. I could view myself as some kind of exterminator but it didn't quite alleviate the niggling guilt that tried to disquiet my mind. I was worried that I would eventually be so calloused to killing I would lose something that made me who I was.

Ironically these thoughts occupied my mind while I enjoyed building more toys of destruction. The first thing I put together was the easiest. Dad hadn't been the one to teach me this particular little goody. The boys from school who played games like "war" and "man hunt" in the woods and parks made several variations of what I was making but since my options were limited I made them all one way.

Airsoft grenades don't really do much damage although a nicely packed one will sting if it hits in the right spot. And I suppose even a plastic pellet can take out an eye but that is why our church youth group always had to wear helmets, gloves, and protective goggles when we played at the local paintball arena. No one would be wearing protective gear so I planned on some damage being done. I went further and helped it a long using some prohibited materials.

I mixed the airsoft plastic pellets with some real steel BBs and some lead pellets and then filled a standard water balloon with them. Next I shoved a black cat fire work down in there with the fuse sticking out. I put tape around the neck of the balloon to keep the BBs and the firework inside it but made sure the tape would interfere with the fuse. They really did look like old-timey hand grenades if you could get around the circus colors.

It took me a couple of sleep/watch periods to use up all of the balloons I'd found and I still managed to have BBs and fireworks left over much to my pleasure. Eventually even Abel got restless and antsy and went nosing around the piles of stuff I was working on. When he woke me for the next watch his face was something to behold. "I have never met a girl like you."

I grinned and told him, "Be you're sure glad of that."

His answering grin was a bit silly when he told me, "On my honor Querida, I consider it a privilege to be with you."

That had my mind going in directions that were way too on the distracting side and I was relieved when Abel lay down to take his turn at a couple of hours of sleep. I finally turned my attention to my other project.

A penny bomb is one of the more tedious prank bombs you can make but also one of the easiest and cheapest to make, and when you are a kid easy and cheap is more important than how much work it takes. I used about fifteen of the plastic cap rings per "bomb." You take the protective ring off and then run each ring apart so you wind up with all of these tiny cups filled with miniscule amounts of gunpowder.

I cut the little rings apart and then put them onto a piece of plastic wrap that was about 4-inches by 4-inches. I slid one penny under the bottom of the pile of caps (between the caps and the plastic wrap) and put one penny on top of the pile and then took the corners of the plastic wrap and wound it up into a compressed package. Next I took twenty-four inches of painter's tape and wrap the package of caps tightly. The whole point was to keep everything really, really compressed tightly.

Next I tore off a four or five inch wide strip of aluminum foil and wrapped it around the taped ball of caps. This further compressed the caps and pennies. To finish it off I took about another yard of tape and covered the aluminum foil ball completely, making sure nothing but tape showed.. This adds another layer of compression. To set these bad boys off you have to get them to hit hard but with a little height they don't do too bad if you have them packed just right.

By the time it grew too dark for me to see to work I had a few dozen of each type of "bomb" and split them into two piles; one for Abel and one for me. I also finished up the napalm Molotov cocktails. Good thing I still have a few things to keep my hands busy or I was considering doing some damage to Abel.

"Day-cee, repeat the plan one more time."

A little frustrated I told him, "You've already had me repeat it five times. I won't forget it. I know what the plan is for pity sake."

"And you will repeat it again to prove it."

I mentally rolled my eyes. "I'm on the Richard side. You're on the Hakim side. At exactly 23:30 … that's plain ol' eleven thirty PM for us civilians … we both start lighting fires so that by midnight as many buildings as we can are beyond being brought under control. From that point forward we use our best judgment to instigate a fight between the two sides. The primary goal is to destroy the leadership and infrastructure of both as well as their resources. The ultimate goal is to leave the town itself uninhabitable thereby forcing the remnants of whoever is left over to leave the area completely."

"And?" he asked.

"And the rendezvous point is the cached weapons location before first light. If for some reason any part of the plan fails or is compromised and rendezvous is not possible, we head up to Little Mirror Lake and wait there. If one or the other of us don't show up at the lake within twenty-four hours, they pick up Daniel and resume life as best they can. The End."

He nodded and finally letting my anger get the better of me I threw a wad of aluminum foil at him.

"Day-cee!"

If it had been light he could have seen the steam coming out of my ears. "I know you are going after Hakim. You're just getting me out of the way. If you can't get him in town you'll track him as long as it takes."

He considered all of three seconds of whether to lie to me or not. I know because I counted them. Then he sighed. "Querida, those like Hakim and the crazy Richard will simply move and … and … set up shop in a new place. Si? You must see that it cannot be allowed to happen."

I surprised him by agreeing completely. "You're right. I just don't like your lone wolf plan."

Shaking his head he told me, "Don't be upset Day-cee but I can move faster alone and will not be distracted for your safety." Undoubtedly true it may have been, but I still didn't like it and he couldn't make me. I decided there and then if I had the opportunity then I would take Hakim and/or Richard out myself rather than see him go off on some crusade.

At 10:30 pm we separated to being making our way to our first chosen targets.

 

[Kathy in FL]

CHAPTER 31

It didn't take me an hour to get where I was going and I was itching to get started. However, for our plan to work the way we wanted it to I had to allow time for Abel to get into his position. At exactly 11:30 pm, as planned, I started lighting things up.

It bothered me at first that it was so easy but I quickly decided to not look a gift horse in the mouth. Open a window and climb in here. Crawl under a building there. Wiggle through some bushes and skinny up an old trellis to get to a loose attic vent. Jam a doorstop under a door so it couldn't be pushed open from inside. My strategy was to do what I could to funnel people into the road that led out of town rather than have them running into the woods in the opposite direction. My goal? Controlled chaos.

I came close to being seen a couple of times but was protected by the fact that nearly everyone acted half awake, like they had no energy and less concentration. My best guess, it was due to a lack of a meal for two days running after an already restricted diet. I wasn't going to complain about their missed meals all things considered but it still went to show how debilitated people were becoming; they were literally starving to death one missed meal at a time.

It had taken a long time for the town to get to that point because of the reserves that the Blue Hats had stored and used to control the people but time had finally run out; the same way it was running out for everyone. People will do crazy things for food when they are truly hungry, including the most debauched imaginable. Food was the new drug and everyone was an addict. I kept reminding myself of that anytime I started to feel the least bit guilty about what I was doing.

It didn't hurt my escapades that I blended in with the townspeople. Abel would have stood out a mile, not so much because of his coloring - though his swarthiness did set him apart - but because of the way he carried himself and the fact, that though lean, he was obviously healthy. I was lean as well and I was healthy too, but you could see it only if you got beneath the layer of dirty I was wearing. I looked rode hard and hung up wet. I hadn't bathed or brushed my hair for a couple of days and I'd been mucking around in a dump; that alone was worth a couple of inches of filth. And my clothes were ill-fitting, stained, and mismatched. I don't know if my own parents would have recognized me at a first, or even second, glance.

As midnight came and went, even as the first alarm were raised, I continued to light fires. I began to hear hysterical calls from the townspeople for Richard to help them as they realized the scope of what was occurring. A couple of the houses that we'd planted napalm in were discovered … but you can't really scrape off napalm, it leaves a residue that was just as easy to light. And their scraping had actually spread it around even more than what I had already accomplished.

As the cries for "Richard the Lionhearted" increased I saw a crowd being to build around a clump of buildings I hadn't been able to sabotage because of how many people were in them. That told me where the crazy Richard most likely was hold up. The door on the two-story house was blocked by several guards holding the cult followers off. I heard the guards yell that Richard was in consultation with god … little "g" … and deliverance would soon be at hand.

Yeah right. I bet the kook was in there preparing for ye ol' getaway and would only come out when he could make the biggest impact. I decided to give him a reason to come out on my time and not his.

Using the crowd as cover I made my way over to the building nearest to the crazy Richard and went inside it. While everyone was running outside to see what was going on I snuck inside and then ran up the stairs and then into a converted attic space. Lucky for me it was a historic building and it still had a roof access up there to clean the chimneys. I used the access to climb onto the roof. Once up there, and settled as safely as I could manage, I lobbed a stink bomb threw an open upstairs window of the other building. The first was followed by a couple of smoke bombs of a particularly putrid green that was wasted on the crowd below because of the dark night. All they could really tell was that there was smoke pouring from several of the upstairs windows.

The smell inside was pretty bad if the gagging of the people coming out was any indication. Even the large crowd backed away from the place with several people covering their nose and mouth or rubbing their eyes. Once people started rushing out of the building I threw in a Molotov cocktail through the same open window. Now that stirred things up. At that same moment the first gunfire could be hear coming from Hakim's side of town.

Briefly my chest tightened as I worried for Abel but I knew we both had a job to do and I had to have confidence in his skills and in my own. I got my first chance to instigate real trouble between the two groups when someone in the crowd below me cried, "Almanzor! It's Almanzor! He's attacking!"

Boy, and I had kicked the ant hill with the fires. I took a penny bomb and simply tossed it over the side near a knot of people. The subsequent bang had people screaming and carrying on like you wouldn't believe. One guy even swore up and down, "I've been shot! Halp! I'm hit!"

Then there was a nearby whoosh as an older, one-story, frame house kind of exploded as something still flammable caught. Yowzer. I could feel the heat from where I was on the roof several houses away; I couldn't imagine what the people closer to the house must have felt; several had been knocked down by the percussion. As burning debris rained down around me I realized I wasn't in such a good place.

There was another crescendo of noise as someone yelled, "There he is! There's Richard!"

I couldn't tell if it was adulation or anger that made the crowd rush off after a man I barely got a glimpse of before he was swept up by his followers. I used the chaos to get off the roof, which wasn't nearly as easy as it had been to get onto; the access door had shut and latched at some point. As I exited the building I decided to go ahead and start another fire. I squirted a blob of hand sanitizer where some floor length drapes hung, and then lit the alcohol based gloop and left at a run. I couldn't stay around to watch but I hoped the sanitizer would stay lit long enough to catch the drapes which were made out of this gauzy nylon stuff that was sure to go up like dry tender and drip fire on the carpet beneath and maybe even catch the papered walls.

I had to jump into a small room that wound up being a bathroom as people started stampeding in the building apparently gathering belongings just in case the fire spread. I felt like saying, "day late and a dollar short" but I was too busy hiding. To my chagrin someone did find the fire upstairs so I was stuck escaping from the bathroom window and nearly breaking my neck and losing an eye by falling into the dead rose bushes below. Lucky for me the scratch at the corner of my eye wasn't bad but it stung like a son of a gun but the gouges in my buttocks hurt worse after I removed several thick thorns.

I got to a better vantage point and saw that the crazy Richard must have been more charismatic than I thought. He'd started to organize his followers to take the fight to Hakim … I heard something about food and guns and realized that he was really getting them wound up. But all they did was talk, not at all what I wanted them to do. I decided it was time I gave them a little more reason to move rather than sermonize by throwing another penny bomb following by a BB grenade. The penny bomb just made people jump and holler but the BB grenade made a few of them scream in real pain.

The sky was taking on an orange hue as the fires I had started consumed anything they came in contact with. Heat was building. Smoke drifted all over the place and I was beginning to have a hard time breathing without coughing. As I tried to visualize an escape route so I wouldn't get roasted alive a real enemy for the Richard to take on entered the game. That weird yodeling sound preceded even more real automatic gunfire. People in the crowd around Richard screamed, developed red blossoms on their clothing, and fell.

It was soon apparent that I hadn't really had a clue what hand to hand combat would mean for me. I was stuck on the far side of the rendezvous point with both Richard's group and Hakim's men between me and it … between me and presumably where Abel was waiting. I noticed that too many people were running the wrong direction from where I wanted them to go so I took out one of the real grenades that Abel had confiscated. I shifted my position and then lobbed it at the back of a crowd that had been running for the trail area.

Unfortunately I made an oops and the grenade also took out most of the footbridge that went across the most narrow point of the river that surrounded the town. Abel and I were going to have fun getting back home but I tried not to let that freak me out too much. There were other places to cross if you knew them; we'd just need to build some kind of skiff and a pole to push across using the underwater boulders.

I couldn't stay in one spot too long and I must have had some bad luck because everywhere I moved to try and get through the battles all around me things would shift and I would get blocked from going the direction I wanted to go. I finally resorted to going around but because of the fires and the spread out nature of the fighting it was more than a short hike. The route took me in the same general direction that some people had started to go … across the only remaining exit from town that a vehicle could have cross.

Instead of crossing the bridge I passed through the thin ranks of people and across towards the Hakim side of things. I'd done just about as much damage as I could on the Richard side and wanted to see if Abel needed some help. The first thing I noticed was that while there were some fires there weren't near as many as I knew we had planned on.

Sliding into one of these unlit buildings I found that someone had tried to remove the napalm. I left quietly and then went to a similar building and found the same thing. I wasn't sure what it meant but I knew it couldn't be good. I wondered where Abel was. Because I was worried that maybe he was tied up in one of the booby trapped buildings I had to search each one before lighting it up using a Molotov cocktail and the slimy remnants of the napalm that had been removed.

It wasn't too long before I realized that someone had gotten sloppy and simply dumped most of the napalm over the porch rails at each building or beside a set of outside stairs. Well I wasn't wasting good supplies and smeared it where ever it lay, doing my best to have the fire disappear under a building so that the new mischief wouldn't be noticed immediately. Hakim or one of his men would know one person had been out and about, but hopefully they wouldn't think there could be two of them.

I carefully made my way closer and closer to the obvious center of Hakim's camp. Still no Abel. Still no new fires except the ones that I was lighting. Then I saw them … the prisoners. They were lined up along the fence facing one direction and my heart sank.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 32

I belly crawled towards the fence. Only a few guards were around and they were as fascinated as the prisoners by whatever spectacle they were watching. I had no idea what was going on but knew I needed to find out. I was slithering around the fence edge when a voice hissed at me from inside it, "I should spank you!"

I nearly yelped with joy. "Abel! I was so worried!"

He was very angry but still trying to be as quiet as possible."Silenciele mujer loca! This was not the plan."

I whispered back, "Neither was you getting caught so stop complaining."

"Shhh. You will attract the guards. Now listen to me carefully. This fence is electrificado. It is very strong and will do more than sting should you touch it."

Thinking that over I asked, "What's everyone staring at?"

Obviously frustrated Abel answered, "Hakim and another man are fighting. Hakim is winning so …"

"Uh … maybe I can do something about that. I still have some of those grenades left."

I could just make out Abel's face and he looked like he was having a heart attack. "When I get out of here I swear I will spank you."

"Not in this lifetime you won't Mr. Macho, not if you want to keep your skin intact. Besides I oughta spank you for getting into trouble like this. Look at you, you're all beat up and stuff."

If Abel could have pulled his hair out he would have. His frustration reached a peak and then something strange happened; his head fell forward and his shoulders started to shake. I asked, "What's wrong?"

He answered, "Usted me ha conducido obviamente insano. I cannot believe I am agreeing to this."

"I didn't drive you insane, you were already crazy. And what are you agreeing to?"

A deep southern drawl came from behind Abel and I jumped though Abel's reaction told me he'd known the guy was there. "I hope thith fella here ith agreeing to let you do thomething that ith gonna get uth outta here."

The voice was deeper than I remember it being but the speech impediment that came with the words was the same as it had always been. "Benji?"

Another boy told Abel, "Told you she'd remember us."

"Us" turned out to be a few of the boys I had gone to school with. Abel said, "Shhh. Now is not the time for the reunion like old friends. Day-cee, how many grenades do you have left?"

I told him, "Half dozen of the real ones and nearly two dozen of my other goodies. I've got some napalm left as well." Before Abel could say something I added, "But whatever it is we better get a move on because, well, like I went and started a … um … few fires and the wind kinda seems to be blowing this way."

Benji muttered, "Daffy Dathey."

I growled, "Call me that again Benji and I'll leave you here."

Abel broke in and said, "Day-cee, I will happily die a crazy man if you can blow up the shed that houses the generator."

"Sure, where's it at?"

Another voice muttered, "Oh sure … she'll just go blow it up. No big deal. There's only like several men with machine guns guarding it."

I didn't recognize the voice but I wasn't worried about it. I guess their voices had changed since I'd seen them last but they were still the same boys and still more than a little ornery. That told me they probably hadn't been Hakim's prisoners for too awful long. In the general direction of the boys I said, "Shut up and leave the mayhem to me." I took some of the matches and extra lighters I had and shoved them into the crocker sack with the BB grenades. "Heads up," I told them right before I tossed the bag over the fence.

Abel caught it and I caught it from him. "Are you trying to get yourself killed?!"

I ignored his overprotective streak and whispered, "Stay low to the ground because if one or those real grenades will put you on your hind end, then the two I plan on tossing at the same time will do it even quicker I guess. Share those things out with the boys; they'll know what to do with them." Whispering to Benji I told him, "Them are some non-standard toys right there; not just plastic BBs but some metal ones in there too. Be careful none of you take out your own eyes."

I was about to crawl away when Abel said, "Querida … be careful. I could not live with myself if you were hurt because of me."

"And I couldn't live without you period so plan on escaping and following the rest of our plan … K? Daniel and I both need you." I crawled away to the sound of gagging which was just plain typical of boys of a certain age which is why I'd never been partial to them in the first place as anything other than friends.

I was getting tired of slithering along the ground like a snake but since it was the safest place to be I kept any complaints to myself. I wasn't real sure how far away I should be when the two grenades went boom but I knew I needed to find some place where I could avoid as much flying debris as I could. It didn't take me long to find what I was looking for.

The guards on the generator shake weren't nearly as oblivious as the prison guards had been. They were nervous and as a result their eyes seemed to be going everywhere at the same time. And the shack or shed wasn't really either one of those things, but more a small concrete building. I realized it was actually the old bathrooms for the city park. I was almost exactly at the spot I had been three years ago … and that is what reminded me it was my birthday.

That thought cleared my head. Too many things had changed forever since that night and this wasn't a game. Abel and I were fighting for our lives. My focus sharpened and then I felt a shark grin grow on my face. I took out one of the penny bombs I hadn't given to the boys and I lobbed it on the other side of the guards' positions.

BANG!

Sure enough it startled the guards enough that they all ducked and then turned in that direction looking for the enemy. I stepped from around the corner of a concrete memorial plaque and rolled one grenade like I was bowling all the way into the generator shack and then the other so it fetched up at the door frame.

I ducked just in time. Two short explosions followed one on top of the other. The first grenade pulverized everything inside the shack and most of the roof. The grenade at the door destroyed most of the front wall and the guards standing directly in front of it. The pressure and debris took out the other guards but I wasn't sure if they were dead or not, but they sure as heck were down for a while. The huge sound of a transformer blowing followed the two grenades and what lights had been lit around the camp immediately went out plunging everything into pitch darkness. It was only that dark for a moment however because the glow of the structural fires quickly replaced the artificial light.

I was dazed and banged up. The memorial plaque hadn't been all that great as a place to hide. My ears were still ringing when my brain finally got the signal through to my legs that they needed to move.

And move is definitely what I needed to do. I could hear all sorts of people hollering, I just couldn't make out what they were saying. I think it was partly due to my clogged up ears but some of it was because not all of the people were speaking English. I slowly made my way back to the fence section to find Abel and the boys trying to help the weakest prisoners over it.

I reached into my pack and threw a multi-tool at Benji who went to town on the fence, clipping out just enough wires so that people could go through rather than over. Abel took the tool from Benji, obviously not inclined to trust him any more than necessary. I grabbed Benji as he ran by and told him to take people towards Amish Town. "They aren't going to just going to give charity away – you can't expect them to put their families in danger – but those that need it can get patched up."

"Don't tell me how to thuck eggth Dathey. We were living in them construction portableth at the new thchool thite before we got taken for getting into a fight with thome of Almanzor'th people that came to take what thupplies we had thtashed. We'd left town when Richard King thowed up and my dad figured out what hith game wath. My mom and dad thould thtill be out that way if they're alive and I plan on finding out. We'll take thethe other guyth with uth and bury the oneth that don't make it. You'd better run and find a hole too."

So saying he grabbed the arm of the guy nearst him and hauled him down a path that lead in the general direction of Amish Town. I almost called to him to tell him about the foot bridge but it would have been a waste of my breath, Benji was even worse about mischief making than I was. If he couldn't get where he was going one way he'd get there another. I wasn't the only one that had reason to know where you could cross the river without using the bridges.

Abel picked me up and started walking at a fast but limping clip away from the prison yard. "Hey, I can walk."

He stopped and put me on my feet behind another building. "Are you sure Querida? You … you do not look so good."

"Yeah, well you don't look like you've had a walk in the park either."

He shook his head, "No." Looking into my face to see if I was fibbing about being OK he said, "We need to get to the warehouse. My gear is there and there are other things that are … useful."

"Fine," I mumbled.

Concerned he asked, "What is wrong?"

I told him, "This isn't going the way I expected it to. I don't know if people are going to the interstate or if they're going into the woods. I don't know if we've done any good at all. I lost crazy Richard in the crowd and now we don't know where Hakim is at."

We began limping towards the warehouse in question when Abel said, "Battles never go exactly as planned. And this one is not over yet so do not give up."

I tried to remember that as we got near our destination. Men were running every which direction and in and out of the warehouse too. I sighed, "Looks like we've started a war for real."

After a moment Abel said, "No. Look. Men go in but they come out with only what they can carry and then run off. I think we've done it Querida. Hakim's men are deserting him and taking what they can before they flee."

That is when several men ran up and started shooting and punishing those that had been taking stuff out of the warehouse. I heard Abel give a sharp, indrawn breath. I knew one of them must be Hakim but I didn't know which one. Abel was cursing the lack of a gun. I knew what I had to do. I took my compound bow off my pack and took out three broadhead tipped arrows.

In a calm voice I said, "Tell me which one he is Abel."

"What? Day-ce …"

I shook my head. "We're wasting time. This way we'll know for sure and won't have to hunt him down again."

Abel closed his eyes briefly then nodded once. He pointed out a man that looked just a little younger than my father had been. I had expected someone imposing looking but he just looked … ordinary. He was short, maybe five foot seven. His skin looked like old leather and his hair, or at least his beard, was streaked with gray. He was dressed in faded military fatigues but he also wore one of those strange scarves on his head. He was just a no-body that had gone and tried to be a somebody for a while. Well his time was up.

The glow from all of the fires gave me enough light to shoot by but the shadows were bad. The first arrow took him in the leg, well below what I was aiming at, spinning him away into a crouch. The second arrow caught him in the back and he stood back up, arching, and spun to face me again. He was reaching for the arrow in his back when the third arrow sunk deep into his heart. He jumped like someone had goosed him and then fell forward burying the shaft even deeper into his chest.

The men all around him had finally noticed his death dance and there was silence for a moment and then they grabbed what they could and ran just like the others before them.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 33

Abel and I looked at the fallen man and then shook ourselves, realizing that if we were going to get his gear and get gone we better do it quickly or there wouldn't be anything left for us to get.

We ran for the warehouse but I stopped to get my arrows. Two of them were salvageable but the shaft on the third was bent. I ripped it out of the corpse anyway so that I could have the fletching and the broadhead tip. I put the gore covered arrows in my quiver and followed Abel into the warehouse.

The only light in the cave-like interior came from the orange glow of the fires that illuminated the doorway and came in through the ventilation windows set high in the walls. Not much light but enough for Abel to find his pack and rifle that had been thrown into the corner. You could tell it had been gone through but nothing of import except the food I had packed for him was missing.

"Day-cee we have a little time I think. I have cached a good bit in the woods but what would be your wish if you could have anything?"

I said the first things that sprang to my mind. "Powder and primers, shotgun shells of any caliber, .22lr and 9mm ammo, lead ingots, spare firing pins, spare magazines for the guns we already have, gun oil, any spare brass for our handguns and rifles … and … some web belting, and new holster for you … and … and …." I stopped, shrugging. "This is ridiculous. Anything Abel … whatever we get will be more than we had before."

"Si Querida. As always you are wise. But I wish for to show you something I did not have time to take before I was captured. I hid it back here." He handed me a gun and I knew it was a Springfield 1911.

I said a bit puzzled, "I didn't know they came so small."

"Si. It is .45 caliber but is named a micro-compact." I could tell he was repeating what he had read because he was enunciating the words slowly and precisely. "So … it will fit in your hand. Yes?"

I'd never had a .45 of my own so it felt a little strange but if Abel thought it would be good to have then I thought so be it. Couldn't imagine I'd take the thing hunting any time but it looked like it would pack a wallop against a person if I needed it to.

We didn't take too many guns; mostly what we were after was ammo and reload components for those we already had. The few new guns that Abel had wanted were already in the cache. I thought of something. "Abel, do you think they've cleared out the food yet?"

Abel nodded, "Si. It was probably the first thing everyone ran for. But … yes, I think there is time."

I looked at him and asked, "Time for what?"

"If I know Hakim he will have a cache of his own some place near. He would make sure that he had an … an escape route. Si?" As I hefted the really heavy pack onto my sore back he asked me, "Too heavy?"

"Yeah, but I can go a couple of miles with it if you don't expect me to go too fast. This stupid thing probably weighs close to seventy pounds. I've never carried much more than fifty. I'm not complaining though because I know yours is heavier and you're banged up more than I am."

He put his hand on my shoulder and said, "I will be an old man before you truly let me hear you complain without reason. But you are right, these packs … they are too heavy. Let us get to the cache and lighten our load. Then we will go looking for Hakim's treasure."

We had to wait out three more groups of men coming in to grab all they could carry and then run away. Finally we couldn't wait any longer; the fire was so near that we could feel the heat from hit when we stepped out into the night. It was aggravating to leave so much behind but we didn't have any choice. We couldn't carry any more and the few operational vehicles were already long gone; they wouldn't get far due to lack of fuel. As it was I was struggling before we'd gone half a mile.

By the time we reached the cache both Abel and I were shaking. We hadn't eaten real regular the last couple of days and the adrenaline and stress had left us with very little reserves.

Huffing, trying to catch my breath I said, "Abel, give me a minute."

Regretfully he said, "We do not have a few minutes Querida. We must needs go find Hakim's …"

"… treasure. I know. But I'm not asking for a rest I'm asking for you to give me a sec so I can make us something we can eat while we are walking back. I don't know about you but I'm toast."

"Toast?"

"I mean I'm beat, running low on energy, getting to the point I'm not going to be able to go any more."

He sighed. "Si Querida. I am this toast as well."

In spite of how I felt I had to smile at his upside down grammar but that didn't stop me from popping open two zip bags, throwing in some rolled oats, and then squeezing in some nut butter. I zipped the bag shut and squished the oats and nut butter together. "Just rip open the corner of the baggie and squeeze the stuff into your mouth a little at a time. It will destroy the bag and the oats are going to be chewy but at least it will give us some energy."

True enough as far as things go but we were both still hungry by the time we got close to Hakim's living quarters. Peeking in we could see that the place had already been ransacked. I told Abel, "If there was something here before it's gone now."

"No," he told me. "He would not keep supplies here because of this very thing. He would want to be able to get away quickly and arrive at his cache to resupply before …"

Something occurred to me. "Wait … I know where we are at."

"Si … we are at Hakim's quarters."

I shook my head. "No … not that. What I mean is this used to be the ranger's house … the guy who took care of the park. Him and his son took turns operating the fee gate. Let me think."

I turned this way and that trying to picture everything in my head from what I remembered. Abel asked me, "Querida, what is it you do?"

I was frustrated trying to remember exactly and then put it in terms of what was here now. "It's a story that Dad and one of his friends told me one time. Hang on … he said it was behind the house about five hundred yards."

Abel left me to think while he went over what little was left in the house. He came out carrying … I had to look again to believe what I was seeing. "Abel! What is that?!"

He grinned hugely and said, "It is the sword and dagger that Hakim used for show. It is now mine."

I looked at it. Dad had a thing for well-crafted knives and I could tell the ones that Abel held were the real deal. "That's not a ceremonial sword, that's a real one … and not cheap either."

"It is … hmm … Turkey Sword … a scimitar. The dagger is match, yes?" The blade of the scimitar was thirty-two inches long but the scimitar's full length was forty-eight inches. The hilt was made of wood and steel and was beautiful in its simplicity. The dagger was its match only smaller.

"Yeah. You can probably find something similar to them in one of Dad's knife and sword books in the library."

He nodded while he put the sheathed sharps into his pack. Once done he said, "Now, what is this that had you twisting and turning to remember?"

"Like I said, it was a story from when my dad was a kid. If you think I can get up to stuff the stories from when Dad was a boy would make your hair fall out. He didn't have much adult supervision until his step dad came along but that didn't last because the man died. Dad would sometimes stay out all night and … wait … now I know. Follow me."

We went into the tree line … trees that hadn't been there when my dad was a kid … and eventually came to the foundation and chimney of a very old house. I said, "OK, we need to be careful, there is an old cistern here someplace."

Less than a minute later I heard a crack and then a mild curse before an eerily hollow voice called, "I have found it."

I fumbled my way over in the dark in time to see a dark outline of Abel push away the covered top of a hole. I bent down beside him but before I could look at what he had found I was on my back and looking skyward being thoroughly kissed.

"Uh … Abel …?" I gulped when I caught my breath.

"Look in the hole Day-cee."

I took the small penlight from him and looked down to see several small metal barrels. Disgusted I sat up. "It's just beer kegs."

I could hear the smile in his voice. "Kegs yes, but not of beer. When we first came to this country we found that vermin were very strong and wicked and would chew through all paper and plastico. The orders came and many of these kegs were … were … adaptado … to hold grains and liquids not beer or wine. See?"

I looked where he was pointing with the penlight and could see that where a tap should have been there was a kind of cap. There were five of them down in the hole. The kegs weren't very big but for a single man and the right ingredients, and supplemented with hunting and fishing, it could have gotten him through a normal winter.

Abel reached down into the hole and brought out one of the kegs with some difficulty. He said, "Twenty-five kilograms, perhaps a little less."

Being in the habit of converting his metric measurements to American measurements I said, "Fifty pounds or thereabouts … but of what."

He rocked the keg back and forth and you could hear rattling but not loud. "Some kind of grain … but not corn I think. Probably wheat."

He pulled out another and rocked it back and forth. It sounded like small marbles. Abel said, "Chickpeas."

He went to grab the third one and nearly fell in. "Are you OK?" I asked him concerned at how he rubbed his shoulder after he sat back up.

"Si, just a strain. It is much more than 25 kilograms. I think easily three times that." Looking at me he asked, "Are you too tired to take this back to our cache? I would like to take this away from here in case the fire spreads before we can return for them."

And that's what we did. It took us four trips and by the time we were finished we were falling down exhausted. The first trip we carried the first two kegs that did indeed have wheat and chickpeas in them. The second trip was a keg of something that Abel told me was dried fava beans; and wonder of wonders a keg full of green coffee beans. I shuddered at the smell but Abel acted like he was gonna get high on the odor alone. The third trip was the hardest.

We were already tired and the last keg was the heavy one. We finally rigged a pole and sling and carried it on our shoulders; Abel in front and me in the back. I was ready to drop it over the edge but in the end it was worth it because the keg contained honey.

We had thought there were only the five kegs but when we got them out of the hole we found there were a few metal ammo boxes below the kegs, a metal box containing what turned out to be spices, a small metal tub of pistachios, and a small metal trunk of stuff I couldn't even read the labels on. All of the last bits went into our packs or the sling for our last trip.

When we got back to the cache site I could tell that Abel needed to sleep. I wanted to sleep as well but I had enough to do to satisfy my curiosity and keep me awake for a couple of hours. The sun would soon be up so I told him, "No sense in trying to go anywhere right now. Let me take the first watch and …"

Right at that moment the sky light up like the Fourth of July. After we'd gotten over being startled out of a year's growth Abel said dryly, "The munitions dump went boom."

I couldn't help it. I started laughing … and laughing and laughing to the point of tears. "Shhhhh," he said as he rocked me. "It is time for the resting. It is all over for now. We are safe. You will lay down …"

I pushed off of his chest and wiped my eyes. "No … really I'm fine. It just all kind of struck me. It reminded me so much of my other birthday and I just … just … lost it for a bit."

"You're other …? Es su cumpleanos? Why did you not tell me Querida?"

I shrugged. "It's no big deal. No really, it's not," I told him when he tried to object. "Daniel never cared about birthdays … that time thing he has … and I don't know … it just didn't matter much after a while when it was just him and me. Besides you didn't make a big deal out of your birthday."

It was his turn to shrug, "I told you, there were so many of us that our cumpleanos was never … well … Abuelo … the cost you see."

"No, I get it. My folks didn't break the bank either. We always tried to do something together as a family and then … well, they're gone now."

I tried to shrug it off but he whispered, "But I am here now. And you are diez y seis … sixteen. Yes? I have heard that it is important for girls."

"You mean like a Sweet Sixteen and all that?"

He nodded. "Si … like a Quinceanera at fifteen for my cousins."

"Sure, sixteen is a … kind of a benchmark age I guess you could say for kids in this country but not everyone has a big party for it. Let's just let it go. Besides, I think I've had plenty of excitement to mark the day, don't you?"

At my hug he said, "Si, we both have. But now I will remember the day and next year we will do something … as a family. You and me and Daniel. Si?"

I grinned and after a bit of dickering he agreed that I could take the first watch while he rested.

 

[Kathy in FL]

CHAPTER 34

The one admonition from Abel besides promising to wake him up at the end of the agreed upon watch length was to be aware that people could be moving through the area to escape what was going on in the town. I also knew it would be important to watch for fire jumping the river. I didn't think it would happen but if a spark drifted just right anything was possible.

The smoke was pretty thick in places but we were over on the other side of the river – and yes, getting across had been in the not fun category of life – and up a fairly steep incline. That gave us some altitude to view any incoming intruders and it also helped with the smoke. We still smelled it but the worst of it stayed low in the geologic bowl that contained the town because there was barely a breeze to rustle a leaf.

There used to be vacation cabins around but the years of economic downturn had seen most of them foreclosed on and fall into disrepair … some even being burnt down by their owners to spite the banks. I thought that people might try to head for this building, dilapidated though they might be. But since we were near the top of the most accessible trail into the area I'd have nearly a bird's eye view of anyone trying. I also turned my eye to what was going on in the town.

The fire damage was even more impressive than the light of the flames had revealed during the night. Whole sections of town were just shell after shell of what once had been houses and businesses. Many still burned but most were just embers. I could see a few people wandering about but not many. There was no way to recognize any of them from the distance I was but even had I been closer I doubt I could have told a townsperson from one of Hakim's people because of the soot that covered everything and everyone.

I suddenly realized I had started to nod off as I watched the remaining flames eating what was left of the town so I shook myself and started going through the boxes of things we had taken from Hakim's cache. The box of spices and seasonings was good though the selection isn't what I would have picked if I'd been given the choice. Then again I hadn't a clue about where the man had really come from or what he had eaten prior to coming to this country. Allspice, anise, basil, borage, cardamom, cayenne, chamomile, cinnamon, citric acid, cloves, cumin, curry powder, fennel, fenugreek, garlic, ginger, marjoram, mint leaves, nutmeg, orange peel, oregano, paprika, rosemary, sage, sumac powder, tarragon, turmeric, valerian root, and whole black peppercorns was the inventory of the spice box.

The other box contained couscous, dried figs, green tea bags, fennel tea, something called halva that looked like a candy, hazelnut cream, rosehip tea, dried hummus mix, dried leeks, pickled mango, spicy walnut cream, orange blossom jam, bottles of orange blossom water and syrup, pomegranate dressing, red wine vinegar, dried shallots, sour grape juice, roasted squash seeds, tahini, apricot paste, grape leaves in a jar, almond powder drink, lemon syrup, melon syrup, rose syrup, mint syrup, and vanilla syrup.

I hadn't a clue what to do with over half of the stuff I found. I mean, I've always been adventuresome when it came to food but I was not even sure I wanted to taste pickled mango and I thought valerian root was used as a sedative, not as a seasoning. I was wondering if Abel knew what it was all used for when I saw movement on the path well below our position.

I nudged Abel. He took a second to wake but then he jump to where he saw me crouching and looking below. He put a hand on my shoulder to let me know he was there and then watched as several people tried to make their way through the heavy brush and steep incline of loose soil and gravel. I was setting an arrow on my bow when I saw the one in the lead take a tumble. Rolling down the trail he knocked the legs out from under the two people with him.

I could just make out the voice of a woman as she complained bitterly, "This is ridiculous. There's nothing over here. We'll starve, die of exposure, or get eaten by something or someone. Let's go back and try the other end of town. Maybe we can make it over to New Vale before it gets dark."

They scrambled down faster than they had been coming up and we lost them as they reached the river's edge. Abel whispered, "What is this New Vale?"

"Nearest town along the interstate. But that lady is crazy if she thinks they'll make it before dark without a ride of some kind."

"She is crazy for more than that. If it is the town I think of, months ago it was emptied of people by the gut disease. The water, it went all bad."

It had been a while since I'd thought about any place beyond the town. My world had shrunk. Yes Abel did make it bigger but the day-to-day struggle kept both my hands and mind too busy to constantly worry at problems someone else might be having.

For the rest of the day Abel and I took turns but we only saw four more people; one during my watches and three during Abel's turns. By the time that late afternoon arrived, it had been several hours since the last person had shown themselves. The fires had also moved to block that route though they stayed on the town side of the river.

Abel and I decided to begin moving the cache. The wind had changed and the smoke was getting pretty bad at that location anyway. It took eight trips to move the entire cache to the new location up over the top of the ridge; eight exhausting trips of up and down and up and down and up and down. I felt like a mountain goat. But the air on the other side was easier to breathe and didn't smell quite so bad.

It was near midnight by the time we finished moving everything. The trail had turned treacherous or we might have continued as we'd caught our second wind … or the fourth or fifth one, I lost count. We were anxious to get everything closer to home so that we could go check on Daniel. We both admitted it wasn't happening that night and snuggled up under a small overhang to do our best to escape the damp fog that rolled in.

Condensation woke me when it dripped into my ear. If Abel hadn't wrapped me so tight with his arms I would have sat up straight into a rock that would have probably knocked me right back out again. "Good morning Querida."

"Morning," I grumbled as I tried to wipe the cold wetness out of my ear canal. "What time is it?"

"Too early."

I stopped what I was doing and rolled over in his embrace. I said, "Hi."

He said, "Hello."

We both realized we weren't thinking about moving much so that's what we forced ourselves to do. I knew we had been running low on rations so the previous evening I had picked out a few things around our camp that were edible and as daylight came I put together a reasonable facsimile of something that looked like food.

"Let us move this cache within sight of the meadow and then go get Daniel. We need to rest and then get back to preparing for winter."

I was in one hundred percent agreement but no matter how hard we worked there was no way we were going to meet that goal. Oh, we managed to move the cache. And thought it was approaching evening, we even managed to hike to within sight of Amish Town. But what we saw when we got within sight made both us both boil over with fury.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 35

As I looked down from the trail we had been following we could see an oblong table had been set up with something dark leaking off of it. It was beside a half of a metal barrel that was over an open fire. I didn't know it then but I was to learn that the barrel was full of boiling water. There were a lot of people standing around, some looked like they were in charge and some looked plenty cowed by the men with the big knives. It didn't take long to put two and two together when we saw a kid tied up on the table. Even from that distance I could see it was my Daniel.

Something popped inside my head. I vaguely remember Abel yelling for me to stop but I just had to get to my brother whether it made good sense or not. I ran full tilt down the trail, shucking off my pack and anything else weighing me down as I went. I heard a couple of shot and vaguely remembering a few people going down but by that point I was in the midst of the crowd. I barreled into the men around the table knocking most of them over. I punched, kicked, bit but it wasn't enough. Eventually they got me and held me but I made sure it wasn't easy on them.

When they got me they put a knife to my throat and that stopped Abel. "We'll kill her. See if we don't."

I could see Abel hesitate and I yelled, "They'll kill me one way or the other and you know it! Keep fighting!"

I was proud of him because that is exactly what he did and soon there was a lot of wrestling going on as Richard's followers were taken down by unarmed men and women who decided that a knife wound was preferable to what was about to happen. Richard, ever the lunatic showman, jumped up on the table and was trying to blather on about how it was ordained and all sorts of nonsense while flapping around in this cosmic colored cape he was wearing.

I kept moving like a greased pig and finally wiggled and twisted enough that the guy holding one of my arms let go. I immediately jammed the heel of my hand up into the nose of the guy with the knife. He let out a howl and backed into the table nearly knocking Richard off. It gave me an idea and with the idea came renewed strength from some place.

I yelled at Daniel, "Roll off!"

Even though he was all tied up Daniel did roll and fell to the ground all in a lump. I finally got away from the guys trying to hold me though they ripped most of my shirt off in the effort and then grabbed the end of the table and heaved it upwards. Then time seemed to slow down. I felt something hard hit the back of my head and I started to go down. But I wasn't the only one going down.

As I had lifted the table upwards, Richard's legs had gone from in under him. As I continued to lift the table, he slid down the slick top. As I managed to turn the table completely vertical he slid right into the waiting barrel of boiling water.

My ears were ringing and the dark was closing in from the sides but not before I heard him scream … and scream and scream and scream. Even after he was dragged out of the boiling water he kept screaming but I didn't hear him after that. I don't remember it but I'd crawled to Daniel and had basically collapsed on top of him.

I came to in a bed that was softer than any I had ever slept in. The sheets were white, crisp, and clean and smelled of cedar wood. For some reason I sensed that I was clean as well. My head was throbbing and when I lifted my arm to touch it I felt lots of little pulls and twinges, starting with the stiches I saw running down the inside of my arm.

The memories slammed down and I sat up with a scream. "Daniel! Abel!"

I was flailing around and falling out of the bed, trying to find them when several people rushed in and gathered me up and hushed me and told me everything was all right.

"Don't tell me everything is all right. Where's my brother? Where's Abel? Where's …?"

Someone shooed the women out of the way and put me back in bed much more firmly. "Hush Querida. Daniel is fine and sleeping after drinking some tea that Josef gave him. You will see him in the morning. And I am right here. I have not left you. So let this kind women make sure you have not torn open the … the threads on your arms. Look at me Day-cee. The bad man is gone. Si? I promise."

My breathing slowly returned to normal and my heart stopped banging around in my chest like a ten-pound hammer. "Is … is Daniel … OK?"

Understanding my question he said, "Si. But he is shaken. He rocked and rocked and I worried he would hurt himself so Josef gave him a tea and now he finally sleeps. He is downstairs with the other boys. I stayed with him until I knew that he would not wake up afraid. In the morning he will probably pound up the stairs in search of you so you must be rested and ready for him."

"I'm … I'm fine. I need … absolutely need … to see him Abel. Please," I begged.

Abel looked over at an older woman who smiled kindly and said, "For a moment only. And please don't wake the other children. They've been through so much already."

I tried to get up and walk but Abel picked me up, quilt and all, and carried me down the stairs. I didn't make a sound after Abel put me down just long enough for me to walk over to a bed. I knew it was Daniel's bed because Dog was guarding it. She lifted her head and blinked and then laid her head back down.

When I walked back out of the room I had to sit in a chair by the door. I was shaking. "What happened to Dog? Why is she all bandaged up?"

"She fought the men that took Daniel." The person who answered me was Monica. When I turned to her she said, "Josef is going to have a fit when he hears you've been out of bed."

I said quietly, "I'm fine."

She ignored me and turned to Abel. "You can get her back to bed? That's where you should be too."

I looked at Abel who suddenly looked far too innocent. I asked Monica, "Why does he need to be in bed?"

"Because he's been worked over pretty hard … twice from what I heard."

I didn't see any new bruises but that doesn't mean there weren't some under his clothing. I refused to let him carry me back up the stairs so we hobbled together. The older women wouldn't let him come in the bedroom and I was just about to get miffed when he shut me down. "They are right. I have no business being in there. Now get some rest and we will talk in the morning. Si?"

I don't' know how but I fell asleep as soon as I laid my head down. The next morning something woke me up, probably Dog's breath. I opened my eyes and both Daniel and Dog were peeking over the edge of the mattress.

The first thing out of Daniel's mouth was, "We didn't make any noise. We were just waiting for you to wake up."

I was so happy I cried which worried Daniel more than most anything else could have. Finally I got him to understand it was because I missed him and was so glad to see him. He grinned and said, "I'm hungry Dacey. Let's go home." Now that was a plan I could get behind.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 36

I gingerly sat up and then had to wait for the blood to stop draining from my head. "What time is it Daniel?"

"Time to say good bye and go home."

I know his reply sounded funny, like he was making a joke, but that was literally how Daniel saw time. It was measured by events, chores, the things in nature. It was my own fault for not being more specific.

"Daniel, what dime is it on the clock?"

Looking out in the hallway where I remember a grandfather clocking stood, he told me, "The big hand is on the five and the little hand is on the eleven."

Immediately upset that I had slept so much longer than I had meant to I spit out, "Oh gollywobbers! Daniel, where are my clothes?"

"Hangin' on the clothes line."

I wanted to say something worse than "gollywobbers" but didn't dare. I was saved by Monica who came in carrying some clothes – not mine – and shooed Daniel downstairs. "Grandfather Isaac is looking for you. His arthritis is acting up and I bet he would like you to help catch the rest of the chickens that got loose."

Daniel started to run but looked at poor Dog and slowed down so she could keep up. Monica watched him go and then said, "He's better than he used to be. Josef expected him to be a complete mess after yesterday. Even some of our kids are traumatized and uncommunicative this morning."

Curious I asked, "Your kids?"

"Josef and I, we take care of kids that haven't found a place in the community yet or who are too injured or … or out of it to be able to cope yet."

Finally getting myself untangled from the covers and voluminous night gown that had my legs trapped I said, "So this place is in Amish Town."

"Uh huh," she confirmed. "Look, are you really ready to get up? If you are maybe you should go see Abel. He's getting a little frazzled around the edges."

That had me hitting the floor. Bad idea. Moving too quickly made the room spin and one of my legs buckle.

Monica grabbed my arm to keep me upright but luckily had the presence of mind for it not to be the arm with the stiches in it. "Whoa. I said frazzled, not dying."

She put the clothes in my hands and then pointed me towards a screen in the corner of the room. I walked behind it, forcing the kinks out of my body as I went. I noted the details of the modest, no-fills nightgown I was wearing; so different from the large shirts I normally wore. Then I looked at the serviceable, dark blue dress in my arms."

"Monica? Am I taking someone's stuff?"

"No. It is from the church clothes closet. Brother Clayton takes care that … um … that …"

Understanding her hesitancy I asked, "Am I being shunned?"

Her immediate response reassured me that she was telling the truth. "Oh no, not at all. It's just Grandfather Isaac is in town and he's a bit of a stickler. We're all trying real hard to get along and work together so we just do what we can to keep things comfortable for everyone."

I snorted and asked, "How's that workin' for ya?"

A small chuckle preceded, "Better on some days than on others."

I stepped from behind the screen so I could sit on the bed and pull up the black knee socks she had given me and put my boots back on. Monica couldn't resist saying, "That's a new look for you. With your hair braided like that you could pass for one of the Old Order kids."

I sighed and tried to picture of myself since there were no mirrors around I told her dryly, "No kidding." Then I asked, "Besides the obvious, why is Abel frazzled?"

She got a concerned look on her face and asked, "Do you really know he is a UN Peacekeeper?"

"Was. Was a UN Peacekeeper. He turned in his membership card when Hakim – that guy you called Almanzor – killed his cousin for spreading the truth that the UN wasn't delivering on their promise to take care of the families of people that signed up."

Still unsure she said, "So you know he's really Abelardo Montoya."

I shrugged. "Yeah, that's he's given name but Abel is shorter and easier to say."

As we left the room and walked down the stairs she said in something like fear, "He's The Montoya."

Wondering at her tone I said, "No, he's Abel Montoya. My friend. Daniel's teacher. Our … protector I guess you'd say. Well, at least when I need the help with protecting Daniel anyway. Mostly we lived and work together and help each other because we want to."

A man's voice from the front of the house asked, "And nothing more?"

Ignoring the invasion of personal business of the question I smiled and responded, "Brother Clayton! Wait, did Benji and the boys make it back OK?"

I heard from outside, "We're men now Dathey, not boyth."

As I pushed open the screen door to step outside I said, "Benji, just because ya'll have the wherewithal to grow fur on your face these days doesn't make you a man. And if you don't stop glaring at Abel like he's some kind of pervert I'm gonna do something that makes it take that much longer for you to earn your man-status."

Monica hissed, "Dacey! Totally inappropriate!"

I rolled my eyes and said, "Sorry Granny." I knew for a fact she was being a hypocrite because I remember some of the stories that Jeff used to tell.

I could see Abel wanted to be shocked at my behavior but his lips twitched proving the other side of him was winning. "How are you feeling?"

He shook his head. "Should that not be my question?"

"Fine, and thank you for asking. Now are you gonna tell me what's hurting you or not?"

All the while I had been talking I'd been trying to get close to him but he'd sidestepped and backed up anytime I came close enough to touch. Frustrated I told him, "You aren't really going to make me chase you around this yard are you? All I want is …"

Abel interrupted me and tried to get all proper. "Day-cee, these are the men of your community. They have every right to try and protect you."

"Uh actually, no they don't."

"Yes they do."

"No they don't."

"Si."

"No."

Daniel chose that moment to stroll over. "She'll wear you down Abel. You know she will."

I looked at Abel with a smug smile. Abel blathered a string of Spanish so fast I couldn't even catch one word. Then in English he said, "Fine. If you will not let them protect you then I must. I give them the right to say whether I am good enough."

Upset I said, "Oh no you don't. You're not getting out of this that easy. Now I want to know where you're hurt, how bad, and then I want to know what all I missed. Then we're going home. Where we belong."

Abel said in a growl that had a bit of desperation in it, "Day-cee …"

"What?"

Abel pinched the bridge of his bruised nose like he had a headache coming on. "I am fine Day-cee. My ribs are bruised and that is the worst."

Trying to be helpful Daniel added, "Better tell her about the cuts. You know she's gonna find out soon enough and then she'll get mad and make you do extra chores."

I saw Abel's lips twitch despite the situation but all I heard was "cuts." "What cuts? Where? How bad?"

I came at him again intending to look for myself but he evaded me by stepping behind a couple of austere looking older women. "I am find Day-cee. Josef, he has made them better."

Frustrated I looked around for Josef to ask him myself and saw him over in a knot of kids younger than Daniel, several of whom were disfigured in some way. I knew I couldn't confront him right that moment. Then Benji's expression caught my eye. "Leave your mouth hanging open like that and something nasty is gonna fly in."

Benji shut his mouth with a snap but it was his father who spoke. "My child, I believe most of us share my son's feelings. It is very difficult to reconcile the stories of The Montoya with the young man you are … are … er … handling so … er … deftly."

Trying to remember my manners I said, "Please don't take this the wrong way Brother Clayton but I'm no child. That was over the day the people of the town didn't step up and stop my parents from getting killed. That was over when the grownups didn't stop the kids from being rounded up and put in a reeducation camp. As for the rest of it I don't know what stories you are talking about but more than likely that is all most of it is … stories. Just like that Hakim fella had to make himself out to be bigger than he was by calling himself that stupid name Almanzor, he made Abel out to be an even bigger baddie so he wouldn't have to admit what a scaredy cat he really was. Abel has done some things that aren't very nice but I reckon plenty of us have by now, I know I have. But the bad stuff that happened isn't what defines who he is."

Abel finally stepped over and said, "I told you Querida there would come a day when I would have to pay for what I have done."

I said, "You already have. And God has forgiven you. You're the one that has the problem and won't forgive yourself."

Abel got a pained look on his face and shut his eyes briefly. "I hear your words but … it is not so easy as you say."

I shook my head, "I never said it was easy. We've both done things that are going to be with us for the rest of our lives. Sometimes you have to accept the consequences for doing what you know to be right. I don't claim to know everything. But what I do know is that I prayed for some help and God practically had you fall in my lap. Nothing that you have said or done has changed my belief that you're my answered prayer. Now let's get our stuff and go home."

He shook his head. "As you say, it is not so easy. Before there was no one to object to me staying with you and Daniel but now it is not right." He looked at me and said quietly, "You are not a child anymore and I cannot pretend to just be a big brother to you."

Daniel joined the conversation and said anxiously, sensing that we were losing Abel, "Grandfather Isaac knows all the Bible words to say."

Caught off guard I asked Daniel, "What?"

"Abel keeps telling you he wants to say words in a church with you and you say Bible words in a church. Grandfather Isaac knows lots of Bible words. And there's a church," he added pointed to a small chapel down the road.

I don't know who turned redder me or Abel. I mumbled to Abel, "Sorry, I didn't think he'd been listening."

Still red but smiling, "Si, Daniel is very smart. I would like very much to … uh … have Bible words in a church with you."

A sober looking old man limped forward. "The chapel is unfit for anything for now. The roof leaked and the floor is unsafe. But … if you are sincere and wish to join together I am sure that Brother Clayton and I can do it properly as it was done for my grandson."

He had been speaking directly to Abel when he said it. I didn't want to flub anything so for once I kept my mouth shut. Abel looked at me to make sure it was really what I wanted and I nodded. I wasn't worried about who said what so much or where it took place or even if there was a ceremony but I knew that Abel did and sometimes compromise can be a good thing.

Josef's grandfather and Brother Clayton led Abel over to a building across the road and I was left to stand there. Daniel had gone over to an older woman and from there followed her over to a table filled with greenery. I joined them and saw that it was forage. As I went to warn the woman about one of the plants that was mixed up in a small pile Daniel beat me to it.

I left my brother to do what he was good at and felt all at loose ends. Monica and Josef were shepherding the knot of children over to some benches and I knew I'd be intruding there. I looked over and saw a group of people I used to go to school with so I walked over but several of them left when I got there.

"Geez, do I smell or something?"

"Thomething," Benji admitted.

"Fine. Whatever."

"Ith Montoya really not … not …"

Sighing, "Look, stop trying to turn it into something it isn't. I don't know what Hakim – Almanzor – said about Abel but he had to come up with some excuse as to why he was so afraid of him. Abel isn't a saint but he's no demon either. I'm sure you guys did a few things to get back at that guy Sevmire and Hakim."

Benji shrugged. "Thure¸but that's different."

"Why? How? Hakim killed his cousin."

Benji shrugged again. "OK, tho maybe it ithn't different. Thome people are thtill thcared of him though."

"Hopefully they'll only be that stupid for a little while." Sighing I asked, "Anyway, what happened. Things have been moving so fast that I can't find the time to catch up."

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 37

Benji looked at me and said, "Athk Frankie. I've got to see a man about a horthe."

Irritated I asked towards his back as he walked away, "What in the heck is that supposed to mean? And who's Frankie?"

A voice from behind me said, "That would be me. And make it Frank please. I left Frankie behind when I went off to college."

I turned and saw a guy with barely-there hair so blonde it was almost white. He was pretty scrawny which told me that he'd been held longer than Benji had been, but he was definitely a prisoner if I didn't miss my guess. "Ok. Frank. What gives?"

"I'm a cop … was a cop. A city cop I mean. I'd just gotten hired when things fell apart. I'm pretty sure I met your father a couple of times before but I don't think we ever met. I would have sure remembered you if we had."

"Oh please," I said rolling my eyes.

He gave a tired grin. "Seriously. I've got a sister just like you … did have a sister … do, I think … step sister … our parents divorced so technically we aren't brother and sister anymore … uh … I'm … I'm rambling."

He said the last with confused embarrassment. I could tell he had issues; not like Daniel had issues but more like one of the guys that Dad knew. Mr. Matthews had been in the military and Dad said he had something called PTSD. That meant he went off sometimes or would get rattled. People who had experienced extreme physical or mental trauma could get this PTSD.

I decided to handle him about like I would Daniel and just take it all in stride. "Rambling is not a problem. You're still rattled and getting used to your freedom probably. Give your brain time to believe you can do what you want when you want – barring normal, civil behavior of course – and you'll get used to things again and your brain won't stutter on you so much. So anyway, can you tell me what's been going on?"

He just looked at me for a second then started laughing. "Definitely like Leann."

A young woman about Monica's age walked up at that point and said, "Who's taking my name in vain?"

Frank turned to me and said, "Dacey this is my sister Leann … Leann Higginbottom. Leann this is Dacey … Jeff's cousin."

"Got it," she said with a smile in my direction. She turned back to Frank and said, "Dad's looking for you. Wants to get your opinion on whether a lawn mower engine is salvageable or not."

Frank's eyes cleared a little and became a little more focused. He said, "I can do that. But …" He stopped and looked at me.

Trying not to let my frustration show I said, "Don't worry about it. I'll ask someone else."

He said, "Ask Leann. She can tell you and she'll give it to you straight."

Leann looked at me and asked quietly, "Ask me what?"

"Benji left me to ask Frank what's been going on. Frank …" I stopped then decided just to be completely honest. "I can see that Frank has been through a lot and maybe Benji needs a good kick for dumping me on him. But if you've got a minute I'd really like to know what's been going on. It's eating me up."

She nodded but smiled and said, "It'll take more than a minute but I've got it to give you. And the only reason I don't want to kick Benji is because he got Frank home to us otherwise I'd help you put the boot to him and good. Why is it that Benji can be so nice one second and then a real jerk the next?"

I smiled and explained, "Because he tries a little too hard to live down the infamy of being a preacher's kid. When he isn't thinking about it he can be pretty OK … at least as far as it goes. I wouldn't want him under foot all the time if you catch my meaning."

She laughed, "She, I think I do. Besides I hear that you've already got somebody underfoot."

I'm not much of a blusher but sharing Abel with other people was a lot harder than I'd ever thought about it being. I shrugged, a little pink around the ears, and told her, "He's different."

"Yeah, I expect so all things considered. Let's go sit over on that porch. The house is empty and hopefully we'll get through it without interruptions."

"That bad?" I asked.

As we sat she told me, "Hard is a better word for it. It could have been real bad but you and Montoya came barreling in like no body's business. I don't know what my face looked like but everyone else was just plain shocked I can tell you that."

Still a little angry I asked, "What in the heck was everyone doing standing around? There were more of y'all than of the crazy Richard's people."

She shook her head, "They had all the kids in that store down there." She pointed to an old glass store front at the end of the street we were on. "Here, let me just tell it in order."

At my nod she started. "I don't know how much you've heard but what all the early stuff boils down to is the town eventually got split between Almanzor and that guy Richard King. Almanzor had most of the town but Richard had most of the people. What kept the people from rising up against Almanzor is that even before he took over from Sevmire all of the guns and stuff like that had been confiscated by the Peacekeepers. But there was always this small group of people that didn't want anything to do with either Richard or Almanzor. With Almanzor the reasons are obvious but it took too long for some of us to catch onto what Richard was doing, and by then it was too late. There were too few of us that managed to keep our souls so we came out to Amish Town and the people out here, while they didn't exactly give us a parade to welcome us, made room for us and we've learned to help each other. Most of us have some ties to the Mennonite community already or have done business with them in some way. It wasn't all that hard to get along."

I can't believe that Hakim – that's the real name of that guy y'all call Almanzor – left Amish Town alone."

"Ask most people and they'll tell you that God had put up a hedge of protection around here. But ask some and they'll tell you that Almanzor was just too busy and hadn't gotten around to it yet."

I nodded. "But I take it from what little I heard Benji say he eventually did get around to it."

"Yeah. Well, kinda anyway. By that time he didn't have that many men to spare on raids and such; didn't want to risk leaving his stuff unattended for Richard to take it over. He made two raids. The first one he killed the family and took all the animals. The second one was where most of the guys got taken because they fought him off some Amish guy's farm. People around here call him Grandfather Isaac."

Surprised I said, "That would be Josef's grandfather … I mean his real grandfather, not just … you know what I mean."

"Yeah, and yeah that's him. You're from around here so you know how it is. The closer a family is to being Old Order Amish the more pacifist they are. Well, that's fine, and I guess there is a place for people like that, but a lot of us think that it's our place to protect them if they won't protect themselves. I mean we need to be able to remember what life could be like if we all tried to act like Jesus; I may not understand all of the why's of their choices myself but I can see their point and their right to make those choices. And they're our friends, we've all learned a lot about how to do things without electricity and stuff."

I told her, "Hey, you don't have to justify it to me."

She grinned sadly, "I guess not but it isn't always easy to understand why things are like they are." She sighed and said, "Anyway, everyone was overjoyed to find out Benji and the other guys were still alive cause we had kind of started to doubt it. And the fact that they brought out some of the guys like … like Frank. They've been like POWs for almost the whole time. Frank, he'll get better with time I hope … no I know he will … but a couple of those guys might not. Josef thinks some of them have been starved so long their brain was affected and two of them were beat on so much that they are crippled. Josef amputated the foot of one guy and said he'd be better off and able to get around better without the constant pain it obviously caused him." She took a deep breath and then blew it out. "We were so busy being happy that our people had come home that we didn't think about what would happen if they were followed. And they were."

This had been a big concern for Abel and I. What would happen if people from the town escaped out into the woods and beyond rather than follow the one remaining bridge out of town on their way to someplace new to occupy.

"They hit during the night and rounded up all the little kids. I know it seems stupid to you but … it just seemed to happen so fast."

I shook my head. "I didn't say it was stupid. How do you fight someone that has your son or daughter hostage?"

"You didn't let that stop you. We all heard you yelling at Montoya to keep fighting, that they'd kill you one way or the other if you didn't keep trying."

I shrugged. "That's me. Besides, I was hot as a steel aggie that's been sitting on a stove top. Likely that means I wasn't thinking too straight at the time. I don't know what I would have done if I had known they were holding a bunch of little kids like that; all I saw was Daniel."

"No, it's OK. I get it. It was weird. As soon as you said that and then Montoya kept fighting something happened in the crowd. You know even some of the Mennonites will fight, they just don't fight to kill … but they will wrestle someone to the ground to prevent them from doing harm. My dad grabbed a hold of this guy and suddenly, I don't know, our whole family was just piling on this guy. All the families seemed to single out someone and work together to take that person down."

"Well," I said. "I reckon that is one way for families to work together. Was anyone hurt? I mean besides Richard. I remember … him screaming. But … but that table already had blood on it."

She looked at my face for a second then got an understanding look. "Hey, it's OK. That was from a horse. A family donated it hoping that if Richard's people were fed they'd let the kids go. We promised them whatever they wanted if they would just let all the kids go."

I shook my. "Appeasement never works."

"No kidding, but when you are in the middle of it you think you've got the control to just make them go away if you find what they want." She shook her head then said, "Montoya went berserk when he saw you and Daniel all crumpled up. He wouldn't let anyone near you until Josef got through to him. He carried Daniel while you were carried on a stretcher. That's the last I saw of you until just now."

The picture that raised in my mind was disturbing so I asked, "What about Richard and his followers?"

Richard died of shock an hour after you boiled him." I grimaced at more unpleasant mental pictures. "The rest that lived were marched out of town."

Shocked I asked, "They weren't just let go?!"

She had a funny look on her face, "Not … exactly. They were going to be to be but …"

"But?"

"There were military troops as the bridge. The military took custody of them."

"Military," I gasped. "Real US military?"

"Yeah. Seems they're rounding up all of the so-called rogue agents here in the country. But that's all they're focused on right now. They made some people mad at first but now that it's been discussed around maybe it isn't so bad."

"Taking the cult members?"

"No, that part was a relief. It was that the military said that their only job was to focus on battling the people that are trying to compromise our sovereignty. They don't plan to offer any help as far as food, water, or anything else."

"Well, everything else isn't their job. The US military is only supposed to protect our family. They aren't supposed to operate on our soil anyway but I guess this is war."

She asked, "You know a lot about this stuff?"

"My dad kinda had a thing for it. But back to what has been happening." I didn't want to get into that part of it, drawn into a discussion before I talked to Abel to compare what she was saying versus what he saw.

"That's it. Basically we've been in clean up mode since then."

Leann was called away and I went back to where Daniel was. I left him be because he was happy and the old lady he was helping seemed happy to have him helping. That's when I saw Abel coming back with Brother Clayton.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 38

Abel's face was … passive. Yeah, that's the best word for it. Like someone who was trying not to be upset because to be upset might cause problems best avoided. It immediately made me put my guard up.

Now don't get me wrong, I always respected Brother Clayton. He'd proved himself trustworthy and a real Biblical man, or so said Dad … but that was before everything had fallen apart and I was carrying some baggage I suppose. What he said next didn't exactly make me any more inclined to relax. "Dacey, I'd like to speak with you."

I looked at Abel which only caused Brother Clayton to say, "Alone."

I looked a question at Abel and he nodded so I decided it couldn't hurt to hear what Brother Clayton had to say. I told Abel, "Daniel is over helping with the garden. Would you mind keeping an eye on him please? And thanks … I heard you carried him in yourself."

I got the first real smile out of him when he said, "Daniel was very upset. I would not let anything upset him more."

I smiled and told him, "I know." Glancing at the man beside me I told Abel, "I won't be long. We need to figure out our plans and get some things settled."

He went serious again and said, "Si, we do."

I looked at Brother Clayton who nodded for us to take a walk down the road a bit. When we'd gone a little ways he said, "Dacey, I'll admit, I'm not convinced this is the best thing for you. I'm not sure how your father would react to all of this."

Trying not to let my irritation show I told him, "Dad's not here … and mostly because no one from the town stood up before good people died. My Dad and Mom were only the first but there shouldn't have been any."

He looked sad. "I realize that is how you see it."

"Brother Clayton, I not only see it but saw it … I was there. I spent too long in that re-education camp and saw it there too. Where were all of the adults then? Why didn't anyone step up? Not just for me but for the other kids. You knew Dad … there's no way he would just set back and done nothing. You know they shot Momma first? For just trying to protect Daniel. Dad went kinda crazy. If it hadn't been for Jeff protecting us, putting himself between us and the guns we coulda easily died too."

Uncomfortably he asked, "And your point is?"

"That Daniel and I needed someone. First it was Dad but he died. Then it was Jeff and he left and then died. Frankly I needed someone; I knew I couldn't take care of everything all by myself for much longer … not because I couldn't do it, but because I could do it all at the same time all the time. I was alone taking care of Daniel. I was alone trying to feed us and I'm sure you know what that's like. I was just plain alone. I prayed about it Brother Clayton, really prayed about it. And I really believe my prayers were answered. God might have sent someone from town but no one answered that call if it was made. So He sent Abel. And right from the get go Abel has been everything we needed him to be and then some."

"Dacey, do you know …"

I interrupted him which might not have shown good matters but I was gonna cut to the quick of it. "That he is supposed to be some kinda boogie man, a former Peacekeeper? Yeah. I knew it from the beginning … but I also knew the hurt man that refused to take charity, that refused to take advantage, that has a cousin … or had … just like Daniel. Her name is Rosa and she's autistic too. Have you seen him with Daniel? I can't believe some of the things he's been able to help him to learn; stuff that will help him survive in case something happens to us. And yes, I know that Abel's done some things that aren't very nice, but so have I. Things I'm not inclined to talk about … but Abel understands. I think Abel is more broke up about the stuff he's done in his past than I am about the things I've done. I don't know what that is, I just know that it is."

With a sigh he said, "I see I can't persuade you to be worried about this man's past but you can't have known him for very long. And you're … what … barely sixteen?"

"I've known him for a year, or close enough that it doesn't make much difference. We ran into each other a couple of times before we got to know each other well. And yes sir, I'm sixteen but I'm an old sixteen. Probably most of us from my group – the ones that have lived this long – are old in spirit if not in body."

"But why child? Why are you agreeing to marry Montoya?"

I could tell he didn't understand though in all fairness he seemed to be leaving room for me to persuade him. "Brother Clayton, I'm not just agreeing to it … I want it. We already do things together that most married people do … I mean except sleeping together. And in the interest of complete honesty, it's been Abel that's been a lot more stuck on the idea of putting that part of it off than me. We don't share a bed or bedroom or even anything close to it." I could see him wince. I guess he hadn't expected me to be quite so bold about it all. "But everything else we do share. Taking care of Daniel, the chores, protecting each other … you name it."

"If it is only loneliness or help with Daniel you are concerned with you are more than welcome to move to Amish Town."

Oh I'd been afraid that was coming. "No thank you. It's not that I don't appreciate the offer but we've already got our set up and Daniel is used to it. He's been all right here – barring the situation yesterday – but he's asking to go home and that's exactly where I aim to take him."

We finally took a seat up on the porch of another empty building. "I'll admit, Montoya … well he isn't exactly as I pictured him. He's rather … earnest."

"Yeah, he is that for sure. Look Brother Clayton, if Abel thinks that the grown men around here have good reasons to object to him being with me he's gonna bow up and refuse to come home with us. You might think he's just playing that up but I can promise you he isn't. We've worked things out between us up to this point but you could come in and just mess it all up. I don't know how I'm gonna work him around if he doesn't think he can get some kind of wedding. He can be so stubborn about things that don't make a hill of beans to me."

He sat back, "Dacey, I'm surprised at you! Marriage is the foundation of much that we hold dear in this life. One of the building blocks that …"

"I said wedding not marriage. I know being married to someone you want to give yourself to is important but like I said, I'm being honest here, a wedding isn't all that big of a deal to me. I'd be just as happy if we said our words between us and God with only Daniel as a witness. Just Abel seems all set to have someone say words over us. I'd just as soon not and save the trouble but … well, I care about his sensibilities enough that if a wedding is what he wants then I guess that's what we'll do. He seems to believe it's important that other people hear him say his promise to me; it's that honor thing he has. He can be such a guy about things; just as bad as Dad was in that respect."

Brother Clayton sat looking at me and then thinking a bit before saying, "I find myself in agreement with Montoya on this subject. A wedding could very well be important for a number of reasons Dacey. Perhaps some that might not mean anything to you right now but they could down the road. A marriage is a contract between a bride, and groom, and God. It is always important to have witnesses for a contract because often that contract is the foundation for how the relationship – whether business or personal – will operate and function. It is also often used for purposes of inheritance, to determine the proper heirs and who receives part of a estate and how large a part."

I said, "You're talking about trust."

"And respect," he said adding another trait. "A contract sets a precedent, one that both spouses should consider a good one. And with God as the third party involved in the contract, there are certain expectations there as well."

I told him, "I do understand what you're saying sir, but I don't necessarily agree that the contract has to be a piece of paper that gets signed off on by someone."

He kinda bobbed his head and said, "I respect your opinion even if I don't share it; it's one held by a great many people that do not like the government being involved in what should be a personal issue. However, we are back to the fact that with things in such upheaval that having a piece of paper as a form of continuity may very well be important down the road for multiple reasons."

Thinking about what he'd said I admitted, "OK, I can see that part of it, but that's not why Abel wants a wedding."

He sighed and gave a small smile. "Hmmm, I did rather get that impression as well. As I said, Montoya is rather more earnest and … and ,,,:

"Stubbornly determined?" I finished for him.

He tried to cover his laugh with a cough. "Ah … um … yes. Yes that does rather describe him doesn't it?" Then he sighed. "Are you sure Dacey? Marriage is a very serious matter with or without a wedding. You're so young … and you've essentially been alone for almost three years."

"Less than that because I've had Daniel and … and Abel too for the last year. And as for being young … like Dad always said, time will take care of that." Looking at him I said, "Brother Clayton, I want to go home. It's where Daniel needs to go too. And our place is a home, in part, because Abel is there and shares it with us. If you get in the way, I'm worried that I won't be able to talk him around to coming back with us. Please don't put some kind of bee in his bonnet like you object. I don't expect people to understand though it would be nice if they'd give us the benefit of the doubt but Abel and I … well … we fit. We know what each other are thinking a lot of the time. I trust Abel to do the right thing whatever comes up. And I know for a fact he'd do whatever it took to protect Daniel – and me – from anything and everything. Do I know what I'm getting myself into? I think so. Momma explained a lot of things to me when I started … er … maturing. She and Dad both did; they didn't want me to make some of the mistakes other girls my age were making. And one of the biggest things that tells me Abel is the one is that he's never been jealous of Daniel, of the place Daniel has in my life and probably to some extent will always have to have in my life. He's not gonna run off, I'm actually more worried about him running himself into the ground this winter … it's gonna be a bad one I think."

If possible his face got more serious. "Some of the elders are saying the same thing. Is it fear that's driving you to this marriage?"

Thinking he was being silly I told him, "No, not hardly. But I do need him. He fits a spot that was empty before he came … in my life and in Daniel's." Feeling a little silly I added, "I guess I'm just not romantic but I think it is much cooler for a guy to be able to bring down a boar and clean it and all that stuff than one that talks a pretty line or has a pretty lineage … that stuff is for breeding dogs and horses, not building a marriage on."

I got another cough-covered laugh. "Yes … well … uh hmm. I can see that you are set on this so … while I might have reservations I … I withdraw my objections."

I wasn't ready to do the happy dance yet. "What about Grandfather Isaac. From what I gather he's got some say around here."

Brother Clayton nodded. "Yes he does, but since we are 'Englishman' – not Amish or Mennonite – he has left the ultimate decision up to me; however, he seemed rather more inclined from the very beginning to allow it."

I had to bite my tongue over the idea that anyone was going to allow me or not allow me to do anything. Instead I said, "Guess that just leaves Abel to deal with. And I guess figuring out how and when we are going to get this all done. I'll be truthful, I'm not waiting a week or anything like that."

Rather dryly he said, "So I have sensed. Tomorrow is a rest day for the whole community and there are two other couples that will be married in the morning. If you don't object to sharing, I believe they would have no objects to adding another couple to the mix."

"Let me talk to Abel about it but I certainly don't mind. Doesn't look like we are going to get far today anyway."

Nope, talking Abel around wasn't easy. It was what Dad would have called an exercise in patience. But good sense finally won out.

"Querida, are you sure?"

"Sure I'm sure, that's what I've been saying haven't I? Is it because you don't want to share the day or something?"

He shook his head, "No, it is not that. I simply do not want you looking back and regretting … " He chewed his lip a moment. "I do not wish for you to have sorry that we did things like this."

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "I swear Abel, if anyone is gonna be sorry it might be you. I'm not sure I have a romantic bone in my body; and I'm not much of a girly girl. I don't care about all of that other stuff – the wedding and all that. All I care about is you. I want you to feel like we are good and married so that I don't have to worry about you feeling like you have to leave or something like that."

"I will not leave or something like that." After a moment where we relaxed and enjoyed the fact that the decision had been made he asked, "Do you wish me to speak with Daniel?"

I'd been thinking about that very thing but told him, "Let me talk to him first. As his sister I owe him that. I want him to really believe that all this means is that you'll be staying with us forever now."

"Si … forever."

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 39

"Daniel?"

"Yeah?"

"You know how Abel lives with us and stuff?"

"Yeah."

"I want him to live with us forever and ever."

"Yeah, me too."

"So, if …"

He interrupted me but stayed focused on the mushrooms he was separating into piles. "Are you and Abel gonna have Grandfather Isaac or Brother Clayton say Bible words on you and get married?"

Carefully I answered him, "Uh … yeah. I want to."

He nodded his head and started pulling the caps off of the mushroom stems in one of the piles. "I think you should. This way when you look at each other it won't look stupid."

That blew me away sine it was so un-Daniel-like. "Wait. You notice how we look at each other?"

"Yeah. Your face looks pretty stupid … like Dog when she wants a bone but can't have one."

Whether I looked stupid or not Daniel's words made me feel stupid. "O … K …. So, you don't have a problem with me and Abel getting married?"

"No." After a moment he asked, "Will you give me a little brother or sister so I won't be the baby anymore?"

Well that was just going way further than I had been thinking about and told me that Daniel's thought process was a lot more mature and complicated than I'd been giving him credit for. "If Abel and I have any kids they'd be your niece or nephew."

He persisted, "But I wouldn't be the baby anymore, right?"

"That's right."

"OK, that's good. Abel and I will teach it what they can eat and what they can't and we'll teach it how to hunt and track and stuff like that."

Trying to go with the flow of the conversation I told him, "Sounds like a plan. But … babies are … uh … kinda a ways off."

He asked, "So you don't have a baby in your belly?"

Outraged I said, "No! What gave you that idea?!"

"I heard some people talking," he replied like it was no big deal.

"Well, isn't that just nice," I snarled. Then I told him, "Next time you wonder about stuff like that you come ask me or Abel. I swear, people don't know half what they're talking about. Abel and I will tell you the truth so you don't have to wonder about it."

"Figured that. 'Sides, you and Abel haven't done the chicken dance, you know when the rooster and chicken …"

"Ack! I know what you call it and no we haven't and you just watch your p's and q's buster. I swear the sooner we get you out of here the better, you're picking up all kinds of talk that is just plain rude."

I marched off to find Abel and when I did I let my feelings show. "I don't know what you're planning but I want it done so we can get out of here. I swear, Daniel asked if I had … I mean he'd heard people say … I mean … doggone it. There's people that think we're getting married because we have to. And wipe that look off your face, it isn't funny."

He was manfully trying not to smile but all he did was make me feel like I was ready for the top of my head to explode. "Querida, I tried to tell you people would talk."

"I don't care about people talking. I care that my innocent brother is picking that sort of nonsense up. At least he had the sense to know we hadn't done the chicken dance yet."

Abel was in the middle of taking a drink of water from his canteen and the water must have gone down the wrong way because he was spitting and wheezing and coughing all of a sudden. "He … he said that?"

Wiping some of the spit off the front of the dress I was wearing I gave him the evil eye. "Yes, he said that. In fact he's already got it all planned out. We're going to give him a baby brother or sister so he won't be the youngest anymore and then you and him are going to teach it all sorts of stuff."

"I swear Querida, I didn't mention any such thing to him."

I relaxed, "OK, just making sure. But seriously Abel, I want us to go home."

He sighed. "You really do not want this wedding do you?"

"I'm doing it because it is the only way I can have you Abel but to be honest … no, I don't want to turn this into some big production that gets all confusing."

"You are a very different girl Querida. Even the two brides for in the morning are sad because they cannot have a special white dress and the party and gifts and a cake."

"Well if they think that's what a wedding is then they better rethink getting married. A wedding is just supposed to be an outward sign that you've made inward changes to your life. One of my aunts had two big, fancy weddings with all the trimmings and neither one stuck. My Dad and Momma had a small, simple ceremony and they stuck through thick and thin. It isn't the showy stuff that tells the tale in the long run, or at least that is what Momma always said when we'd get invited to a wedding. I don't even know how many wedding dresses and such she sewed over the years. She used to say it didn't matter what kind of dress you were wearing because everyone had on skin underneath."

It took Abel a moment to catch up but he finally smiled and said, "I will be very glad to go home with you and Daniel tomorrow. But I am also very glad to have words said over us. As you say, it is not the show that is importante … but my … my skin wants a man of God to bear witness … Si … that is the words. I want a man of God to bear witness to my promise to you. It makes me feel better about not having the other to give you."

I understood what he was saying but I still didn't agree. On the other hand it wasn't gonna hurt anything to go along with it and I thought that maybe someday I might care. I already like that Abel wanted to marry me the old-fashioned way; I just saw wanting and need as two different things. If nothing else I was happy that Abel was happy and that had to count for something.

The rest of the day was spent in clean up and community service type projects. There was a lot of work to do before winter. I stayed in town to help people living there and Abel went with Grandfather Isaac to help him move some his things to be closer to Josef and Monica. Apparently Josef's grandmother was getting frail and if winter was going to be as hard as some thought, his grandfather had unbent enough to recognize that having Josef there to take care of her could be the difference between her making it through the winter or not.

Josef nixed me doing much of anything that required lifting or getting dirty because of the stitches in my arms. I didn't want to complain but I was grateful because my arms had been hurting. They really stung after he cleaned them again. I decided to help Daniel – and didn't that tickle my funny bone – and let him lead what we did.

I'm glad I showed up when I did because he was getting bored and restless, losing interest in the task before him. He and I went to look for some forage in the area and though I was hampered by the dress I was wearing if felt good to get away from all the people for a bit.

"When are we going home Dacey?"

"Tomorrow, right after the wedding. We won't stay for the dinner or celebration. We'll have our own when we get home."

"Good."

"You miss your stuff?"

"Uh huh." After a moment he added, "It's hard not to talk about the grow rooms and our food. They don't have that kind of stuff here."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Good job Daniel. Abel and I knew we could trust you."

That made him smile real big and Dog seemed to sense it and wagged her tail. "I didn't tell no one nothing. But I'm hungry Dacey, can we eat when we get home?"

"Sure thing, it might just be a snack until we can get settled but I'll find you something. Abel is probably hungry too."

Daniel nodded, "He sure is, I heard his stomach growl."

It was nice to be with my brother again. He was such a huge part of my life that the few days we'd been apart had seemed a lot longer than they really were. It also reassured me that Daniel really was OK after his ordeal. I wasn't going to raise it if he'd decided to put it behind him or decided to treat it as a bad dream. I think in this instance, his strange way of looking at time was a blessing. In his mind it was over so it happened a long time ago and wasn't something he needed to carry around in his short term memory.

"Daniel, what kind of stuff have you been eating? I really haven't had anything but two cups of broth."

"Yeah … that. Soup and greens, greens and soup. I'm hungry Dacey. Let's go home real quick."

I reminded him that we'd go tomorrow. We gathered a few things here and there trying to not take too much. Sustainable foraging is a lot of work, as we had already found out. I wasn't sure how a whole community was going to be able to pull it off and chose not to think about the consequences if they couldn't. I had enough taking care of my own responsibilities.

I did notice that evening that the small meal everyone had included a lot of herbs that I knew to have appetite suppression as one of their traits. Chickweed, Evening Primrose, and Cayenne certainly was in there. Mushrooms filled space without really adding too many calories. The protein came from a stew made of whatever wild meat could be found such as rabbit, squirrel, quail, and pork. And everyone ate from a communal cooking area to get rid of waste and to make sure everyone got something.

I didn't get to see much of Abel, being unmarried we were pretty well segregated from one another. Add to that the men seemed to be picking his brain as much as he was picking theirs and there simply wasn't time or opportunity for a talk to compare notes.

It was a weird feeling being thought of as "just as girl" again. Being on my own had been hard and sometimes scary but I realized it had also been empowering. In Amish Town people tried to put me in the box they last had me in but I'd outgrown that box a long time ago. It didn't stop them from trying to put me back in it though and wanting me to stay there. When I acted different from what they expected it made them uncomfortable.

Bed time was early and I was ready to go. I was frustrated at the limitations people wanted to put on me and I was also just plain tired and sore. I slept well enough all things considered but morning still came early. I was trying to enjoy myself but the nerves of the girls all around me – I'd been given a bed in a communal girls' dorm since I no longer needed the "hospital" – was driving me a little crazy.

"My family would absolutely never approve of me marrying someone like The Montoya."

I wanted to say it wasn't something she'd ever needed to worry about because she didn't seem the kind of girl Abel would be interested in but I kept my mouth shut. For one I really didn't know if it was true and two, last thing I needed to do was act like a donkey's back end on my wedding day.

More comments like that one floated around and then they talked about who they were interested in and what their families would have or will think of it. Blah, blah, blah. Oh, they were nice enough but I was just ready to get the show on the road. I was honestly getting kind of anxious about it all. Turns out I was getting a case of the wedding jitters after all.

Monica came over and asked me to come over to her house until the ceremony. "Dacey, I heard the other two are going to have wedding dresses. I don't have a lot but you're welcome to …"

I smiled, gratified that someone at least seemed to really have my interests at heart. "No, really, it's OK Monica. He's seen me covered in muck from head to toe and in raggedy and mismatched clothes. Anything is bound to be better than that. Besides, this is a nice dress all though it isn't exactly what you might expect to stand up in for a wedding."

"Are you sure?"

"Totally. I wanted to ask but … I mean … are you and Josef doing OK?"

She thought for a minute. "Josef's good to me and for me. He's … he's not my first love and he knows it but … he said he refuses to be jealous of a dead man." She clapped her hand over her mouth. "Oh Dacey, I'm sorry … I didn't mean …"

"Relax Monica. Jeff wasn't the kind of guy that would have wanted you to pine after him your whole life. Just imagine how well off he is right now up in Heaven. He wouldn't want you to put off finding some goodness here on earth."

She did relax and then smiled. "Josef is … is calm. I need that. Sometimes I tend to spin and get upset over things that don't make any sense in the scheme of things. He may not be some wild-eyed romantic like like Jeff was but I know where I stand in importance to him and I need to that." Then she grinned subconsciously. "I never would have guessed how much I enjoy taking care of the kids and that was his idea. I never could understand Jeff's devotion to Daniel, or yours either for that matter, but I think … I think I understand it now. Some of these kids, they'll be with us for a long time. I'd give anything to save them. And it helps him to see me a part of what he's trying to build here."

A knock told us it was time to go to the commons – the green space in the center of Amish Town – and wait for the ceremony to begin. It was short and sweet. It was a combination of the words from "English" weddings and some were words from the traditional Amish wedding season. We were each asked if we did took such and so and if we promised to stay married "til death do us part." We were asked if we would be loyal and care for each other during adversity, affliction, sickness, and weakness. Then Brother Clayton took our hands in his, gave us a blessing, and said, "Go forth in the Lord's name. You are now man and wife." There was no public kiss for which I was eternally grateful. I'd been getting enough stares to last me a lifetime, I didn't want to give them one more reason to be a bunch of lookie-loos.

There was going to be a stone soup celebration afterwards but Abel and I gathered up Daniel and said some quiet good byes. Surprisingly Grandfather Isaac stopped us before we left and said, "You are welcome to come back. We will all need to work together, especially come spring."

That was a good note to take our departure on. Abel had gathered our gear and hidden it some ways up the trail. As soon as we got to it I dashed into the bushes and took the dress off and got into some comfortable hiking clothes … but I folded the dress and tried to protect it from the other stuff in my pack thinking that maybe I was getting silly and sentimental.

It was Daniel that got me moving again when he said, "Are you ready yet Dacey? I'm starving. Let's go home."

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 40

Did a wedding and marriage change things? Yes and no. For the most part when we returned to the cave we picked up the lives we had been living. On the other hand getting used to that level of intimacy took time. I mean I enjoyed it, and Abel did too, but at the same time there were moments when it was almost overwhelming. And Abel and I had to get used to our new roles.

I had to decided not only was I never going to be my mother, I had to accept that I didn't want to be her either. I loved Momma but our personalities were dissimilar and I just was not the kind of person that could pour myself into the mold her absence left behind. I was me and in the end pretty satisfied with that.

Abel had to learn that he didn't suddenly need to be super man and do everything for me and be everything for me. After one particularly frustrating afternoon that carried over into the night I finally told him I needed him to be Abel, not a father to me. There was more to it than that of course but that's between the two of us and private.

For Daniel there were new rules of privacy but beyond that and a few embarrassing questions he persisted in asking despite our attempts to redirect him onto another subject, his world was as secure as it had been before and he thrived on Abel's attention and the new skills he was learning at a much faster rate than I had expected him to.

The barrels and boxes from Hakim's cache helped our deplenishing stores. They added a couple of months that we had used up, a very good thing. Daniel mentioned that the dirt "was getting tired" in the grow rooms. I was composting things as fast as I could but since we operated with very little waste and because I was too afraid to bring in plant matter from outside the caves, the compost pile simply could not keep up with out use of it.

A project that Daniel and Abel built in some of the smaller storage nooks that Dad hadn't considered worth doing anything with gave me back some of my calm. Each of the little nooks were for a different type of edible mushroom. I'm not quite sure why my parents hadn't thought of it or whether they'd simply run out of time or money. Either way, with fungus being one of the few types of "plants" unaffected by Heart Rot we couldn't afford not to give it a try. In a room close to the entrance of the cave I tried the same thing with baskets of ferns using some of the houseplants that Momma had put into the herbal grow rooms. While it was a risk moving them to a new environment, it was less of a risk than bringing in exposed plants from outside the sink. The ferns in the sink were thriving, almost to the point of clogging the water run off so I transplanted many ferns into the surrounding woodlands.

The other project was to create a pool room. I know that sounds bizarre but that's exactly what we did. We found some concrete mix that was still good and we dug out the sand in one of the unused "rooms" in the an unused wing of the cave. That wing wasn't used because it got wet from seepage and hadn't been worth the trouble of figuring out a solution around it. We used that area to build a "pool" and imported some small fish and crayfish and water plants to have a source of crawdaddies for protein over the winter … assuming the project worked. We threw some small cat fish in there as well.

Hauling the water for the "pool" was not fun. We made it a mixture of spring water and water from the pond we took them from. Before pouring the crawdaddies and fish into their new home we left them in a five gallon bucket set in the pond so that the water temperature could equalize and the fish wouldn't dish of shock. We lost a few at first and we were ready to call the whole experiment a failure but a turning point was reached and after a week had passed and no more had died we became cautiously optimistic and concentrated on other things, security being one of them.

We had not managed to drive everyone from the town. There were several small groups that wandered the forests and BLM land. If they continued to follow the practices they had under Richard I couldn't say but they were so jumpy and afraid of other people that they would run at the first sign of anyone not in their immediate group. Abel, Josef, and some of the other men from Amish Town hypothesized that they'd either eventually move on or that many of them would die during the coming winter.

Once a month Abel, Daniel, and I would make the trip to Amish Town to trade news. The radio spoke of some serious battles between the US military and the Chinese. It also revealed that Peacekeepers were being deported for the most minor infraction, infuriating a certain faction in the government. Apparently the deportation was being done by the military rather than the civil court system under the guise that with war on American soil, the military justice system trumped any previous civil agreement with the UN.

In August we shared with Grandfather Isaac and Brother Clayton the list of plants that we had been gathering that was either resistant to Heart Rot or that seemed to be unaffected by it all together. Plants that were annuals or plants that were perennials that were propagated by seed alone were the worst. Plants that were perennials that propagated by cutting, runners, or roots were resistant to the disease; some more resistant than others. Any fungus, edible or not, was unaffected.

I had hesitated sharing this hard won knowledge but if the people there like Josef and Monica starved to death I refused for it to be because I didn't do what I felt in my bones was right. They had a whole valley to search and forage on, many of the acres formerly productive farm land. The peaks on the BLM separated our mountain cove from them and few to none of them were in any shape to climb up and over to come in search of us. I had to believe that enough of the old ways still survived that they would know not to over pick any given area so that it would survive for them to harvest again at a later date.

During our September trip to Amish Town we learned that the only remaining bridge out of town had been destroyed but no one knew by which side. It was much too large and modern a structure for it to be done by a few fireworks or a storm the likes of which we see in this area. Not only had the bridge been blown on both ends, it looked like it had been destroyed even further once it fell so that it wouldn't block the river it fell into. That is a lot of C4 or whatever it was they used. All that meant as that we were even more cut off than we had been.

"I would not worry on it so Querida, whoever did it made a good strategy."

I asked Abel, "Why?"

"Because it prevents an enemy from re-occupying the town. For a civilian population it is a no good place but for a military group it is fine because they come with tents and other things to live in. The mountains, they offer protection from those that snick up from behind. The only worry would be the planes in the sky but I have seen few of those in the last months."

He had a good argument, I just hated not knowing. I guess I was like a cat in that respect.

We almost didn't go to Amish Town in October because the weather was so foul but there came a week when the sky turn cerulean blue and the air was crisp and clean. We spent a day there, traded news while Abel helped weatherize some of the buildings in town, then headed home. Our plan had been to camp at Mirror lake and do a little fishing and then come home later that day. We were stuck there for three days as the rain pelted down and our supplies dwindled to nothing. Never again did I want to have to take such risk. By the time we got back to the cave Daniel was sick and Abel and I agreed that our trips to Amish Town were over until the Spring.

 

[Griz3752]

You must be close to high speed web; that's like 15-18 chapters in about 30 hours.

Merci cher Madame. .....

 

[Texican]

Kathy,

You weave such a believable tale.

Thank you.

Texican....

 

[Lake Lili]

Thanks Kathy!

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 41

October turned into November and I was ready several times to run for Josef no matter how it might compromise our secret. But each time I was nearly ready to tell Abel "now" Daniel's fever would break and his chest would clear quite a bit.

Abel and I slaughtered the pigs and while Abel took charge of the hams and larger pieces of meat as well as the pig skin, I spent hours upon hours upon hours rending lard, straining off the cracklings and canning them, cooking sausages and preserving them, cleaning intestines to use as sausage casings, filling sausage casings for smoking, and doing my best to make sure that not one single useful thing escaped our notice.

We did the same thing with the venison that Abel brought in. If I hadn't known how important it was I would have run screaming into the woods at the idea of making more jerky. The chickens also had to be culled before the painfully cold weather arrived.

I canned broth, soups, stews, wild greens, and mushrooms. I gathered acorns like a crazy woman, always making sure that I left enough for the wild animals, but with the whole valley and much of the BLM land at our disposal finding acorns wasn't the problem. The acorns were particularly bitter, more bitter than I ever remember them being. It took forever to soak it all out.

There wasn't a moment that went by that my hands weren't doing something. Even if I was sitting with Daniel during his feverish times I had a bowl of acorns in my lap removing them from their shells. The acorns weren't just bitter they were smaller than normal as well which made shelling them a frustrating challenge. Once I did get a pan full it was time to leach the tannin out.

I placed whole, chopped, or coarsely ground nutmeats in a - the best I had for this purpose was from old t-shirts - and tied the bundle closed with string. In the past I would have hung this bundle in the spring and let the run off leach it for me but animals had gotten too aggressive; I lost to bundles of acorns this way before I gave it up. Instead I would place the cloth of acorns in boiling water until the water turned brown, then drain it, add more boiling water and repeat as many times as it needed until water remained clear.

After the nuts were completely leached of I spread them in a pan and dried them in the dehydrator trays in the kitchen. I would have dried them in the sun as but I had the same problem of animal predation.

With the acorns I was able to keep bread on the table. One of the breads I made was Acorn Honey Bread. Even a whole cup of acorns I still had to use four cups of flour. To the flour I added two teaspoons of baking powder, two teaspoons of powdered ginger, two teaspoons of baking soda, two teaspoons of salt, and a teaspoon of ground cinnamon. In another bowl I mixed together two beaten eggs, one cup of honey, two cups of milk made from the powdered stuff we still had thanks to Dad's foresight. Then I added the wet ingredients to the dry a bit at a time and then I folded in a cup of chopped acorns.

I poured the batter into two greased loaf pans and baked at 350 for 45 minutes or until golden colored. If bread is done, it will come out of the pans easily when the pan is turned over and tapped gently. If not all you have to do is bake for another 10-15 minutes and that should fix that problem. When you take the pans out of the oven you want to remove bread from their pans immediately and put the bread on a cooling rack. The spicy bread was always better the second day after its flavors had a chance to mellow and blend.

Between every chore I had to take care of I had to take care of Daniel's needs. Up and down and up and down and up and down. He would get very sick then he would almost get well before beginning to fall ill again. I don't think he ever had pneumonia but it was close. Croup and bronchitis though, yeah that he definitely had. And fever, sore throat, congested sinuses, swollen glands, fatigue … the list seemed endless.

I gave him coltsfoot tea when his congestion was at its worst but only then. The fever I treated by keeping him hydrated and part of the hydration was from teas like the ones I made with Echinacea. I bathed him as well and powdered him with cornstarch to prevent his skin from getting heat rash which is a miserable condition I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Well, maybe the crazy Richard and Hakim but they're both gone and no longer count.

is pulled out my mother's books and tried everything I had supplies for. Tea with honey. Chicken soup. Tea with ginger for when he stomach became upset. I used barely warmed olive oil to soothe his ears that were sore from coughing. The cankers that developed in his mouth from having an acidic stomach I treated with powdered alum. A tea made of turmeric powder helped with joint pain from being confined to his bed. Mustard oil helped with blocked nostrils.

On and on went the home remedies. Then one morning Daniel simply woke up and told me, "Dacey, I'm hungry!"

I would have danced for joy, shouted at the top of my lungs in celebration … but I couldn't celebrate just yet. Abel had fallen ill with the exact same set of symptoms that Daniel had. The difference between caring for Daniel and caring for Abel however was that Daniel was cranky but willing to be comforted. Abel was just horrible and nothing I did seemed to take away his mullygrubs.

Abel kept trying to get up and "help" – at least until he completely lost all of his strength and could only lay there. He was also stronger and heavier than Abel so when he would get delirious from fever or when I needed to turn him over to change the sheets – never my favorite chore in the first place – it was a struggle for me. I'd had Abel to help me care for Daniel for almost the entire time he had been ill, with Abel sick there was only me to depend on. Daniel was still too weak to do more than sit around and recover. I sure wasn't having him go outside in the cold and sporadic snow to help with chores.

"Dacey, I'm hungry."
"Querida, I have such thirst."
"Dacey, Dog needs to go out."
"Querida, I must get up … I … I need to go to the bano."
"Dacey, I'm hungry."
"Querida, the room, it is so hot."
"Dacey, Dog had an accident!"
"Querida, my love, I must get up … I must help … argh!"
"Dacey, when's Abel gonna get well?"
"Querida, the room, it is so cold."
"Dacey …" "Querida …" "Dacey …" "Querida …"

I was going mad trying to keep up with everything. The wood pile was the worst of the most important stuff. We'd used all of the wood that had been cut and stacked from before; now we were down to chopping, splitting, and stacking everything ourselves. A fallen tree was a blessing. A fallen tree that was dry enough that I could simply chop the branches off of it to use was a miracle.

To take care of Daniels suddenly crazy hunger I had to get creative to make some munchies that would tie him over between regular meals. To this end I experimented and figured out how to make Honeyed Acorns.

I dipped the acorn meats that I had leached the tannin out of into boiling syrup or a 2:1 sugar to water solution. For variety, in addition to the honey I used regular sugar and all the different flavored syrups we had in storage. After each nutmeat was dipped – I usually tried to do a slotted spoonful at a time – I took them out and thoroughly dry them on a greased pan. They weren't a perfect solution but they were the best I could come up with considering the limited time I had.

It wasn't just the wood pile that needed my attention. The grow rooms had to be tended. I was using all of the greens, garlic, and a lot of the herbs for remedies to deal with Daniel and Abel's needs. If I didn't replace them we would be in serious trouble. I hadn't really taken into account how much Daniel had helped with that. I mean I knew but I didn't know, know … if that makes sense.

Laundry was never ending. It took forever for anything to dry because it was so cold and damp outside. I hung what I could in the cave or near the stove but that created a worse mess of drips that were too easy to slip and fall in. How do I know? I took a few headers before it sunk in; the bruises gave my backside a sunrise kind of look. The sheets were too bulky to hang inside but the blankets and quilts were a nightmare to try and wash by myself. Then they had to be wrung out and hung to dry along with everything else. And when Daniel or Abel missed the buckets I had by their beds I had to wash the rugs as well. I stopped using laundry detergent and simply boiled them; everything got a gray, dingy caste to it but that couldn't be helped.

Dog and I could only hunt when we were out gathering wood. I didn't force her to come – sometimes she refused to leave Daniel's side except to run out and do her business – but I worried that she too would get sick if she didn't get out in the sun and run like a dog is supposed to. But chopping wood didn't give us much of an opportunity because all of the noise of hatchet and axe drove everything off.

Finally towards the middle of December Abel started to shake off the sickness. I wanted to be happy but all I seemed to do was cry. I was so tired. This was one of my nightmares come true … working and working and working and never a dent being made in the list of things I had to do so that we could survive.

There was no one to ask for help. Even if I had needed it snow was blocking the trails that we normally took over the mountains and no way I could have broken them on my own in the condition I was in.

With Daniel and Abel not eating regularly I had fallen out of the habit for myself. I was in sad shape, expended far more calories than I was taking in. It was a week after Abel had broken his last fever that he was feeling up to … well, marital relations I guess you would call it. He may have been interested but I was not but didn't know how to tell him. When he didn't get the response he'd imagined I tried to play it off and fake it. He saw through the act and was hurt at first which only upset me and I burst into tears.

"Dacey! You cry? Please Querida, what is wrong?"

I don't think I said a dang thing that made any sense at all and when Abel started comforting me he finally noticed how much weight I had lost. I really don't remember much of what came from that but I didn't wake until lunch the next day. I should have been rested but I wasn't.

I got up, even more upset than I had been the night before. I dragged my clothes on and grabbed my list of things to do. I went to check on Daniel but he wasn't in his room. I found both he and Abel in the kitchen. Abel was far from being in tip top condition but he was on his way. After I fussed at him for trying to do too much too soon he told me gruffly, "I am not the good cook but I can open the jar. Sit down and eat. I did not think straight. You have grown thin and it snows. The wood pile is low. And …"

I wanted to slam my head into the wall. "I know!" I had startled both of them … and myself too for that matter. I pulled myself together and said, "Sorry. I'm just out of sorts from sleeping so long. I'll get the wood in a minute. I just want a cup of tea with honey in it."

"You will have the bowl of soup and you will not get the wood, I will."

I shook my head. "You will not get the wood unless you want to put me into an early grave. You are just now getting well. Do you want to relapse by going out into the cold and damp too soon?! Just … just feed Daniel."

We went through another week like this … Abel taking on what inside chores he could so that I could do the outside chores. It wasn't role reversal, it was survival. Then he slowly started going back outside although he didn't swing an axe right away.

And as both Daniel and Abel improved I began to feel weaker and weaker until one day I simply tried to get out of bed and couldn't.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 42

It feels like I slept for weeks but I didn't. I came close to hibernating, but it wasn't that either. I remember waking up, eating a little, going to the bathroom, but my feet didn't really touch the floor all that much. I lay huddled in bed or sometimes in an arm chair all covered in blankets. I wasn't sick but I wasn't well either.

December turned into January then February but I hardly remember. I wasn't sure what was wrong with me. Christmas and New Years were just dates on the calendar. Too much work, too little food had a lot to do with it. I'd been foolish not to take better care of myself. I ran a fever now and again but nothing at all like Daniel and Abel had. My lungs stayed perfectly clear and the only sniffling I did was after I'd cried, only I couldn't remember exactly what had started me crying. I don't really think it was an infection of my body so much as an infection of my spirit. I just plain got depressed and couldn't seem to fight my way out of it; for a while I didn't seem to want to.

I was sick off and on so whatever Abel tried to get me to eat didn't always stick which only made the situation more difficult. Slowly I started coming back around. It was the middle of February but you couldn't prove it by the weather. I don't ever remember winter being such a miserable season.

The first time I got out of bed I could have crawled back in and never gotten up again. The cave ¬– our home – looked hideous. It smelled and laundry hung in unorganized groupings in every free space a line could be strung. The kitchen was safe for cooking and eating, but just barely. The bathroom hadn't been scrubbed since the last time I had done it, literally a couple of months previously. From the entry way all the way back to the storage areas I could tell they'd swept the floors but not often and little else. A layer of dust and filth seem to coat everything.

Abel found me crying. "Querida … here, let me adjust your covers."

"I don't want my covers adjusted! How could you and Daniel do this?!"

Abel stopped and I could tell he had absolutely no clue what I was talking about and somehow that made me even angrier. "I nearly killed myself trying to keep up with everything – one person, me – while both of you were sick. I get sick and all you really needed to do was leave me to sleep and when I finally do get up it looks … the cave … do you know how long this is going to take me to clean?!" I went back to crying.

Abel's face was carefully blank while he let me cry it out. He handed me a handkerchief when it seemed like I was about done and then he told me, "I am sorry you are disappointed Dacey."

And then I felt bad and told him, "Oh ignore me. I must be going crazy or something. You probably had your hands full with Daniel … and …" I suddenly sat up straight and the room spun. I startled Abel so much he grabbed me a little too tightly but he let loose and patted me instead when I said, "The grow rooms! Oh … oh Abel … how … how bad is it?"

I wasn't sure I wanted to know but Abel smoothed the rat's nest my hair had turned into and said, "Not bad. Daniel has been teaching me much. The mushrooms grow good as do the herbs. Daniel says that some of the vegetables do no grow so well but that it is the dirt is getting tired."

I was relieved and worried at the same time. I got the shakes and it was only a moment before I was asleep again despite desperately wanting to ask questions and get answers to them. The next time I woke up I was better – mentally anyway. I washed myself and then did the best I could with my hair. It was disgusting and after a light lunch of broth that both Abel and Daniel watched me eat like a hawk, I asked Abel if he would help me wash my hair.

I don't know who was happier about it, me or Abel. I was happy to get clean and he was happy to see that I was taking some interest in my own well-being again.

"Querida … do you wish … to talk … I mean … your … your illness … it was …"

I sighed as he rung the last of the soap suds from my hair. "I don't know what it was Abel. I'd apologize if I knew what I was apologizing for."

"I do not ask that of you. It is just … it was … worrying to see you like that. You … I have never seen you in such a state of being. You must eat better from now on. You must take better care of yourself even if I am too stupido to see it."

"Don't say that … Querido."

That made him smile. My Spanish was still horrible but I'd learned to say things to make him grin. Still, he shook his head. "You will not get away so easy. You did the worry of me very badly. I can barely think on the words to say them right at how it made me feel. No more again Dacey, truly my heart could not take it."

I had worried him and I was sorry for it. He overcompensated for a time until I was able to convince him that I was out of the dark place I'd fallen into. However I was physically fragile for a while; my bones felt as brittle as all the split ends in my hair. As much as I ate my energy level never seemed to go back to where it was before. I could nap at the drop of a hat; all of us could but I would do it standing up in front of the stove and had to be particularly careful.

All three of us, plus Dog, made an effort to go outside every day. There was a distance between Daniel and I that hadn't been there before. It wasn't like he was angry at me but like he had disengaged. It hurt and I cried, but not where Daniel or Abel could see or hear me. Daniel had transferred a lot of his need for affection to Abel and somehow I felt left out.

Oh, Daniel still loved me, that's not what I mean. And he seemed relieved that I was well and up and around again, but it is like he had taken a leap forward; he was still my little brother but he was no longer my little boy. I should have been relieved – and I was, or at least part of me was – but it left me feeling like I'd lost part of my reason for getting up in the mornings. It was hard to explain.

I had always spent so much of my time on Daniel that now that I didn't need to it was almost scary. I wasn't quite sure what to do with myself.

One morning I said, "Daniel, don't …"

"… forget my mittens. I know Dacey. I'm not little and stupid."

I looked helplessly at Abel as Daniel stomped out. "That's … that's not what I meant."

"I know Querida," Abel said with a kiss on my cheek as he too prepared to go outside. "He is simply being a boy. We are careless with our words at that age. I remember my aunts looking like that when my cousins would say similar words. He means nothing by it."

I sighed and tried to understand. "He's just growing up. That's what you're trying to say."

Quietly he answered, "Si. And you need to let him. He may … may never been exactly as others are but that does not mean that he will not come close. He may be slower at the growing up … but he is still doing it. Do you comprende?"

"Yeah … I get it." I sighed. "I know he took his mittens. Just make sure he actually wears them please."

Abel grinned, kissed me again – we had started cuddling again as married people do but I considered it more for Abel's benefit than mine – and then went out the door. Not having Daniel to take care of 24/7 – or at least not take care of him the same way – left me with time on my hands but not much energy to do anything with it. That meant I thought a lot.

February may have come to an end but the cold weather refused to leave. Not a single sign of spring was to be found. Then it seemed like the weather just went poof, warmed up to just above freezing during the day, and I knew it was surgaring time.

"Abel?"

"Hmmm?" he answered as he sat trying to plow through one of the manuals on wind generators in the library.

"Have you ever collected tree sap to make it into syrup?"

Daniel overheard and asked excitedly, "Is it time Dacey? Is it really time?"

Answering Daniel I said, "I think so." Daniel seemed satisfied with the single word and went back to what he had been doing before. Turning back to Abel who was still trying to understand what I was asking I said, "Maple syrup."

At that he made the connection. "No but I have read of it in the books and Daniel said that your family, they did make their own but that you have not for a long time."

I sighed and nodded, "It's a big job and we've had enough honey with the bees and such but … I think we'll need every advantage we can this year." I looked over at Daniel who was playing with Dog and decided I couldn't hide the obvious. Speaking openly I explained, "If the grow rooms are slowing down we are going to have to depend on the bulk storage items that we still have. Dad put back a lot and it was supposed to feed more people so we are doing better than we should have done but …"

I stopped as the thoughts going through my head seemed to be squeezing my chest and making it hard to talk. "I don't want to be like everyone else Abel. If there is a chance to stay out ahead of starvation for as long as we can …"

Abel closed the book and came over to sit beside me. "Querida, we are far from a starving time. I continued your inventory as you were … you were ill." He took the old afghan off the back of the sofa where I was sitting and placed it across my lap. "There, you are shaking again. You must remember, we still have the grow rooms – they have not stopped, just give less. Then there are the chickens and we have kept the little cochinillos – the piglets - to grow for next year. There is still game in the forest for all it is hard to find. And in the spring there will be other things like the pescados, ranas, tortugas, cangrejos, and the other things you have done before. We will survive Dacey, God has seen to that and why would He change?"

I let my head fall back against the sofa. "I don't know. My skin just crawls sometimes."

When he didn't understand what I meant I explained, "I don't know how to sit around and wait for manna from Heaven. It seems to me that if God makes us capable enough to do for ourselves that is what He expects us to do … not sit around and be forever waiting on someone else to do it for us. Dad and Mom raised me to be an ant, not a grasshopper. I feel like we need to gather the sap and make syrup. It's important."

Looking at my stubborn face he smiled, "And so we will. But there is no need to lose all our faith while we do it. We will work but we will trust our work is enough. There is no good to come from you to worry until you are sick with the feeling of crawling skin. Si?"

He'd gotten into bad habits while I'd been sick and his grammar was almost as poor as it had ever been … but I did understand what he meant. I may have had my hand on the rudder, deciding which direction to go, but it was God that put the wind in the sails that got me there.

I knew which trees gave the sweetest sap because my parents had been done it for years and my dad had tested the sugar content of the sap himself. And I didn't intend on just making maple syrup either. The very next day I set about putting in the taps for sap collection.

I stuck mainly with the larger trees because they were the ones that were withstanding heart rot the best but I was also careful about how much stress I put them under. The trees I chose were over twenty-five inches in circumference which meant there could be three taps in them. After each tap had yielded about fifteen gallons I removed it and picked another tree to start on. Since it takes about forty gallons of maple sap to make one gallon of syrup that meant that over time I got about one gallon of syrup per tree that I tapped.

The sugar maple will sometimes yield even better but the average yield is 40:1. On the other hand all other tree saps take a lot more sap to make a gallon of syrup but I was determined to do everything we could. It was a tradeoff though; that was a lot of firewood to make syrup. Birch is 100:1 and pecan, black walnut, poplar, and black cherry are just about that much.

It didn't take long for us to start collecting but since each tap rarely gives off more than a quart of sap per day it took a lot of trees to get enough sap to boil down a gallon a day. I had about 50 maple trees tapped and still we'd sometimes run short to get a full gallon per day so I doubled the number of trees in production after cleaning off Dad's old equipment. We kept at it. Every day except Sundays for a month we made syrup. We wound up with sixty gallons of maple syrup and about five or six gallons of each the other kinds of syrup.

Doing something constructive seemed to improve my spirits. I was feeling so much better. At first I put it down to being outside more and getting something concrete accomplished, getting the cave cleaned back up, all three of us well after such a rough winter … but then I realized it might be something else.

The thought had probably been in the back of my head for months, might have been one of the reasons why I was hibernating for a while. It had to have been that long ago because of the symptoms. I lost a lot of weight while both Abel and Daniel were sick but hadn't managed to put much if any back on … but I could feel my body changing and even Abel had made a few comments about it during our intimate times; he seemed appreciate it.

I felt kind of stupid for not having realized it sooner, especially giving all the times I tossed my cookies there for a while. But when I tried to put on a pair of jeans that should have fit with no problem – they were real baggie in the rear end – and realized I couldn't get them buttoned; my subconscious suddenly let loose and I had to face facts.

I hadn't had a monthly in … well , for a long time, for months; it was the first week of April and it had been since before December. I had been putting it down to working and being sick and everything else but that was pretty naïve. I mean, you make your bed you have to lie in it. I didn't know how I felt … I mean I literally did not know how I felt about it. I was kind of numb. I hadn't even decided whether I was going to panic or not; hadn't even given a thought to how Daniel would react to the news. All I wanted to know what how Abel was going to react.

I thought there was no time like the present and went outside to find Abel. I had expected him to be chopping wood but he just stood there with the axe hanging useless at his side. He was looking off to the horizon and then I heard an odd sound in the still of the cold morning. I tried to shake the sound away wondering what insect was making it but then Abel started running in my direction, motioning for me to get down.

We hid beneath the canopy over the sink and Abel said, "Drone."

"A .. a what?"

"A plane with no pilot on board. Used for reconnaissance."

About an hour later the little drone came back but Abel refused to stop looking and a good thing too because a little after the noon hour an armed helicopter flew over using the same path taken by the drone. And it was heading straight for Amish Town.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 43 (part 1)

The reason I had come outside suddenly seemed like it was far from a thing I should be bothering Abel with at the moment. Instead I asked him, "When was the last time you saw something fly that God didn't hatch from an egg?"

Deep in thought he answered, "A long time." He chewed on his lip and then got up briskly and said, "We need to know what is happening. Are you well enough to come with Daniel and I or will you stay here?"

Alarmed I said, "You are so not leaving me behind!"

He nodded. "Very good."

In a matter of moments we were grabbing our gear and packing Daniel and Dog a pack. I included the sweater that I had pieced together for Dog just on the off chance that it got suddenly cold again. Dog wasn't just a pet, she was so much more and we all did what we could to ensure she lived a long life. I had even sewn her booties but she objected strenuously to them no matter that I'd had the best of intentions. Daniel had laughed himself sick at the sight and claimed that Dog hated mittens as much as he did.

Perhaps I should have mentioned my suspicions to Abel but since I didn't know for sure and since that was more than likely just going to complicate things too much I kept it to myself. I was wearing overalls anyway so the issue of tight clothing wouldn't be obvious.

We didn't stop and smell the roses – not that there were any to smell that time of year – nor did we stop for anything else either. After all three of us being sick most of the cold weather and not getting out to stretch our legs on long hikes, the trek up and over the pass to get to Amish Town was brutal. I wasn't the only one heaving once we made it to the top. It was also still slushy and muddy up there so we had to slow down to keep from slipping on the increasingly unkept trail.

As we neared Amish Town we came in slow and steady which was a good thing because they had spotters with some kind of equipment. Despite all I've been through there was something intimidating about having a big, black gun held on you by a real live soldier … but they were our soldiers, or were once Josef vouched for us we were treated like visiting relatives.

I located Monica with a few other women and saw they were helping at a big tent. I took one look at her and went, "What did you do? Eat a watermelon?"

She tried to give me "the look" but all that came out was a really stressed out grin. "Funny. You need to take that act on the road." She looked around and then asked, "Where's your shadow?"

It took me a second to realize she was talking about Daniel. "With Abel."

She made room for me next the pot that she was stirring and I saw that it was nearly all broth with what looked like real noodles in it. My mouth started watering. "We'll feed the children first."

I helped ladle broth into large mugs or bowls or whatever the children had with them. One of the women made Monica take a mug and sit down and I followed her over to the table. Finally I asked, "So what's up?"

She surreptitiously looked around and said, "They came in and just landed in the middle of town. They knew what this place was, who lived here. Supposedly we are known as a 'friendly community' and now that the worst of winter is over with they are trying to see which 'friendly' survived, who needs assistance, that sort of thing."

Suspicious I asked, "You sure this isn't some Trojan Horse?"

She shrugged, "They brought food … of a sort anyway … and right now the children especially need it."

Blanching, finally admitting what I'd been seeing ever since we'd come into town I whispered, "How bad has it been?"

With a calm acceptance I hadn't expected she said, "We lost almost two dozen; mostly the very old and very young. None to starvation alone but the lack of proper nutrition started it. Some of the old folks went without just so the children would have something to eat or so the animals could be fed so that they'd be able to make it to spring when they could forage again. Josef … he's … he's been going without to make sure I eat … because of the baby. We didn't count so well and …"

I smiled despite it all and said, "Momma always said you have to sleep in the bed to make … reckon you've been …"

"Dacey!"

I covered my mouth with my hand but she could still see my eyes crinkled up. Monica has apparently turned into a prude but my humor was infectious and she finally said, "Fine. Be that way. Maybe you'll have to pay for playing pretty soon yourself."

I was saved from responding by a female soldier approaching Monica and saying, "The base approved a convoy and they'll be here midday tomorrow. Your husband said that you'd know the best place to set up to disburse the rations and store any set up a clinic."

Monica got up and went off with the woman which left me looking around wondering what to do. The children … they didn't act like children, more like tired lumps. They were all thin and scrawny with dark circles under their eyes and hollows where their cheeks used to be. Some of the adults looked worse. I had to stop people watching because it hurt.

I got up and left the area and went to find Abel and Daniel. Unluckily for me I found Daniel first and he assumed the worst. He was helping to move some boxes of military stuff – medical supplies from the look of them – and he nearly bit my head off. "Go away Dacey, I don't need a babysitter."

"Grouch. I was interested in what you were doing is all."

I walked off feeling worse than I had in a while; a little lost and out of place. I found a stump behind one of the buildings and sat on it and before I knew it my head was bobbing as I tried not to doze off. Eventually I knew it was useless to fight it so I slid to the ground and leaned my head back for a few minutes.

I woke to a babble of irritated Spanish. "Abel," I sighed. "If you're going to fuss, at least slow down so that I can figure out what you are saying."

That stopped him. He sat down beside me and said, "I could not find you."

"I was right here."

"Si Querida but I did not know that. Josef has opened his home to us for the night."

I shrugged. "Better than sleeping outside."

He grew concerned at my lack of concern. "Querida, what is wrong?"

To my total disgust I snuggled into his coat – my father's old coat – and started sniffling like a two year old. "Daniel … he … he grouched at me."

"Eh … Daniel is a grouch every morning."

"No … no he was mad because he thought I was … was mothering him too much."

After a pause Abel asked, "Daniel said that?"

"He told me to go away, that he didn't need a babysitter. All I wanted was to see what he was doing … and he … he told me to go away. I wasn't … smothering him. I went looking for both of you only I found Daniel first and …"

I didn't want to talk anymore and thankfully Abel was more than willing to hold me and comfort me. He said, "I will talk to him. Growing up is one thing … hurting you while he does it is another."

I sniffled my tears away and said, "No, don't. He probably didn't realize what he was saying and I don't want to make a big deal out of it."

"Dacey, growing up for a man means taking … uh … responsibilidad. Even if he did no comprende his actions, to not point them out makes the danger of spoiling him. You will do the very thing he wished you not to … to baby him."

After thinking about it I replied, "I guess. I just don't …"

"… want to make a big deal of it. Si, I know. But sometimes deals must be made for things not to happen again. You are his Hermana …that will never change and he should show respect for all that you have done for him if he wishes to have respecto in return. Si? You understand?"

I guess I did. Then changing the subject I asked him, "Have you been able to figure out what is going on. I didn't have time to talk much to Monica much and … and I …I guess after that I was more involved in coming out here to pout and feel sorry for myself."

"Aw Querida … it truly upsets you what Daniel has said."

I got another hug that felt good and told him, "No … well yes … but not the words just … I don't know Abel, sometimes … lately anyway … it feels like I let him down this winter. I … look, we need to talk, but I guess this really isn't the time to do it."

"What? No, not it is fine. It is much to take in si, but I have the time for the talking. But let us sit down, my legs complain of the hike after not having travelled so much since we were all sick"

Since I was in generally the same condition I didn't object. We picked a bench on the porch of an old store front where we watched as the soldiers interacted with some of the AT people. The elders weren't much in evidence but Abel explained that to me first thing.

"What do you wish to talk about?" he asked.

Since that was a loaded question and I still needed to talk to Josef I instead told him, "I need to know what is going on. I feel … feel so out of touch. Every time I try and bring it up something else gets talked about in its place. I try and talk to Monica but it winds up being about her belly. I go in search of you and Daniel and I get sidetracked with hurt feelings. Let's just cut to the chase so I can know."

He looked at me and then understood. "Ah, cut to the chase I have heard … you mean no more delays." At my nod he said, "The winter has been very hard here. Many of the ancianos – the elders – are weak or Josef is worried they will catch … er … the germs and he asks them to stay inside. There is a network here that helps no one get abandoned so everyone knows everyone else's business. Somehow they have kept all who wished to eat fed … but there were some elders that gave up and drifted away. Some … some babies did not thrive either." He stopped and I could see him battling himself for a moment before simply saying, "I will not let this happen to you. You will eat from now on properly. Si?"

I had been trying not to worry if I had done something to the baby by being sick but for a second it came roaring to life in my head. I quickly stuffed it back where it had jumped out of but it wasn't easy and now that I knew it was there so I couldn't play stupid. My love for Daniel didn't mean I wanted to make one just like him … or one with any number of other problems. I felt guilty enough as it is.

"So … we saw the helicopter. We know how we felt when we saw it and can imagine if it landed near our home. The same was true here. But they were able to convince those here to let them speak with the community leaders and from there it went on to what you see now."

"OK, but what have you learned? What is going on it the big, outside world?"

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 43 (part 2)

I watched him sort out and organize his thoughts – Abel's face can be as expressive as his hands, and then he told me, "The Heart Rot, it still holds the world in its grip though scientists have found, as did we, that certain things are more immune to it than others. Edible fungi and ferns are being cultivated. Algae and seaweed are two other crops in high demand. Fish farms – as well as clams and oyster farms - are very important and I hear that several families here have survived on little more than what fish and other things they were able to put away from their farm ponds and local rivers and lakes. Edible weeds too are an attractive source of food for both humans and forage for livestock. The new crops have not saved everyone, many have already died and many will continue to die."

Horrified I cried, "Then what's the point?! Why are they here? To share the good news?"

He shook his head. "No, to try and preserve as many of the functional communities as they can so there is something to build from when the Heart Rot is over."

Beginning to have doubts I asked, "And if it never goes away?"

"It has not gone away yet but that does not mean that it is not going away."

Confused as I sometimes was by how he phrased things I asked, "Huh?"

"The scientist, they measure particles of it in the air … the density of it. The density has lessened over the last two years. Not enough that any area can be free of its grasp – they even found it at the north and south poles - but if the readings go down again this year then there will be hope. That is why the soldiers go around, first with their drones and then with personnel. They are …" He stopped looking for a good way to explain it but I thought I'd already figured it out.

"They are picking who lives and who dies by which communities they choose to help and which ones they turn away."

Abel reluctantly agreed. "Si, that is one way to say it."

"Well aren't they all saintly."

He gave a bitter grin. "I do not think they aspire to sainthood Dacey. They do not do this thing from the goodness of their heart but because if they do not do this thing they will not have a country to soldier for. Though much can be said against these people they see loyalty as a virtue and they have taken on as their mission the continuation of their country. That means that some people must survive. Perhaps it is not always fair who they choose to help and who they do not but then again Querida, I stopped believing in fair many years ago."

I thought about what he'd said then asked, "So what are they doing? How are they picking these new friends they want?"

He shrugged. "I believe they are picking communities with the greatest number of components for survival already in place. This community has knowledge and a willingness to work. While they are non-violent there are enough in the community willing to protect the true pacifists. There are natural resources already in place that can and are being used. There are only two components that would of the greatest benefit and that is food and medical care. Josef is already training more people to help with the medical end as well as learning from the natural methods used within the community. The soldiers have said that their command post has agreed with a series of two donations for the community. Tomorrow they'll bring in a load of bulk food and medicines. This will have to last until next spring when the soldiers will return and they will re-evaluate for another delivery."

I noticed, as it always did, when Abel was speaking about technical or military stuff his grammar was way better and this time was no exception. I let it pass because if I brought his attention to it, his nervousness would get everything all turned around.

"Well," I said. "That's mighty nice of them. I just hope it doesn't set this place up to be attacked by raiders or bandits or more of the same we just got rid of."

Abel shook his head. "I said 'some' food Dacey, I didn't not say much food. The greatest thing they bring is a small supply of Heart Rot resistant seeds that have been found."

"What do you mean found?" I asked, confused again by the way he had phrased it.

"The scientists, they cannot genetically modify a resistance factor but they have found cross-breeding some … what they call semillas de la herencia … heirloom seeds … will germinate and produce in some environments. These seeds have been placed into the care of Grandfather Issac and the community has already voted to grow them for everyone's benefit rather than on a family by family trial."

I was pretty blown away. "Seeds? Like …" I stopped, looked around, then just made a face rather than use words that might be carried away on the wind.

"Si … like that." Then he added, "But again, not many, and not enough to feed the whole community even if all of the plants survive. But, if all of their resources are combined, hopefully survival will follow."

I had a million other questions to ask but one of the soldiers came up and asked Abel if he would come listen to something to see if he could understand what was being said – they don't know he is a former peacekeeper, only see him as bilingual. I went in search of Monica

At that point I knew I couldn't delay talking to Josef any more but I didn't figure on getting caught again by Monica to help with the soup line. Seeing the children really tested my nerves. I wondered how much Daniel would have stood out from them if he hadn't lost much of his healthy look over the winter. Then when Monica and one of the soldier medics started talking about her condition and that all of the pregnant and nursing mothers needed to pay particularly close attention to their diets I just about wanted to scream.

But what came during the community meeting after the children had been fed and carted off and while everyone else got a small meal – with our family contributing acorns and some dried meat to the thin stew – forced me to lock my jaw so that no sound could come out.

There's a delegation that is leaving to parley with another community a couple of counties over to see if some kind of mutually beneficial agreement can be made. That community is at a lower elevation and on flatter land so there is hope that they will successfully grow corn or some other grain like sorghum. It was the trip so much that had me wanting to scream as the fact that Abel was going to go on it to help with security issues that were likely to come up.

After the meeting adjourned and we were tucked into a spare room on the back of Josef's and Monica's place Abel tried to approach me about it.

"Don't. Don't try and ask my opinion about it now. You've made up your mind and have done for a while now."

We were whispering but it was still a fight. "Querida …"

"I said don't and I meant it. You need to go so go … but don't think I'm jumping up and down happy about it."

A few more things were said back and forth and then Abel said, "I am not Jeff. This is not the same thing."

I was so mad I sat straight up in the bed. "Don't you lie to me Abel. Not after all this time. You know good and well it is just like it was with Jeff. He felt pulled to go too. He needed to go too. He felt it was his duty to go just like you do. So don't tell me this isn't like Jeff because it most certainly is. Jeff left and he didn't come back …"

"I will come back Querida."

I shook my head and felt the tears slide off my face onto the covers. "Don't make promises you can't keep. Lies and broken promises hurt more than just about anything else. If you go, be honest with me and yourself why you going. And you get to say I told you so only after you come back safe and sound. Last thing I want to do is to have to live with another permanent goodbye."

I could have made him stay. Or at least I'm pretty sure I could have. All I would have had to do was tell him I had a baby baking in my oven. But I didn't want to make him stay, I wanted him to stay because he wanted to. And if I couldn't have that I wouldn't use the other as blackmail.

We made up. I was too scared not to … to leave such a thing hanging in case the last time I said good bye to him was the last time I would ever get to say good bye. But even though we made up I … I don't know … it was like a part of me already believed I'd never see him again after tomorrow. My body wouldn't let me lay away worrying but my dreams were horrible and I woke in the morning more tired than I'd gone to bed.

Monica looked guilty whenever she looked at me. Josef wasn't going. He had wanted to but the community voted him down. First there was Monica to think of and second, he was the communities only trained medical professional of sorts.

It happened too quickly; we were saying good bye and then they were just … just gone. A group of seven men and they were swallowed by the forest before I knew it. I turned to Daniel who was crying and asking why Daniel had to go and told him to pack his gear and say good bye, we needed to go home.

"But how will we get there Dacey? Abel is gone."

"Same way we got places before Abel came along Daniel. I'll get us there."

He looked at me and I could see he wanted to be angry but the sorrow won out and he just hung his head and turned to go do as I asked. Abel had had a talk with him last night but who knew if it would have any affect.

Monica had gone off to tend to something or other and I went back inside to grab my pack. I heard slamming cabinet doors and drawers and followed the racket to the small study that Josef used as an office. I told him, "You're gonna tear those things off if you aren't careful."

He was really mad and it was a moment before he could calm himself down but that was OK, I pretty much knew how he felt. He reached for a package on his desk and said, "It's not much but here are some of the medical supplies for you to take with you."

I nodded my thanks and then said, "You got a sec? I kinda need to ask you something."

Since I had never come to him in quite that way he sat on the corner of his desk and waited. "How do you know if … if a woman is gonna have a baby?"

He jumped like I'd poked him with a sharp stick and then got all professional. I added, "I mean besides the obvious." I sighed and explained things in a little more detail at his request.

"I take it that Abel doesn't suspect?"

"No. I was gonna tell him and then the helicopter thing happened. Then I was gonna tell him last night only this other got in the way. I should have told him I know so I don't need any lectures but I just couldn't."

He drew the blinds and then shut his office door. He had me lay down on the table he used for such things and said, "I can feel your uterus easily so by this you are about sixteen weeks along, but standing up I'd never guess it."

I sat up and pulled myself together while he went over to a cabinet and pulled out a big bottle of pills. He said to me, "This are vitamins. Take them. Even if you don't think you can get it down, take one each day. It's important Dacey. You've already had some nutritional interruptions in the first trimester."

"That's bad isn't it."

He shrugged. "I can lie to you or tell you the truth."

Without hesitation I said, "Truth."

"That's what I thought." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "The most common side effect of poor nutrition is low birth weight but that comes with a whole slew of dangers of its own. ig bottle of pills. He said to me, "This are vitamins. Take them. Even if you don't think you can get it down, take one each day. It's important Dacey. You've already had some nutritional interruptions in the first trimester."

"That's bad isn't it."

He shrugged. "I can lie to you or tell you the truth."

Without hesitation I said, "Truth."

"That's what I thought." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "The most common side effect of poor nutrition is low birth weight but that comes with a whole slew of dangers of its own. Depending on what your nutrition was like at time of conception also plays into it … did your body have the reserves to build the baby right. We won't know the answers to any of that until after he or she is born. But from here on out you need to be as careful as you can be … for the baby and for yourself which is the same thing at this point. You need to be able to not just grow a baby in your body but be able to withstand the stress of childbirth itself. I lend you a book …"

"That's OK, have a couple, I just have to dig them out."

"You sure?"

I nodded.

"Perhaps you and Abel should stay with Monica and I …"

"No." There was no hesitation in my mind on that point. "We need to get home. There are things to do and I can't get them done if we're here."

Thank goodness that Josef was man enough to accept my determination. "Do you want this kept quiet? Do you want to tell Monica?"

Again my determination was complete. "No, there's no sense in it. Monica's got her own problems and it is no one else's business."

"What about Daniel?"

"I'll explain it when I need to."

"All right but remember what I said … and the two of you are always welcome if you change your mind."

I nodded but we both knew I wouldn't. In my own way I could be as stubborn as Daniel.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 44

April turns into May and I find out that I'm the one that has to explain the facts of life to Daniel. I was hoping Abel would be back to do it … but he isn't. It's a misery to me but I keep it simple – he didn't ask too many specific details thank goodness – and he eventually believes that there is a baby baking in my oven.

Maybe it is instinctual or maybe Daniel is just a good brother but once he comes to understand that it isn't that I want to be so different and change but that I don't have any choice because the baby is growing in there he seems to develop a protective streak that I've never seen him use with people, only with plants.

"Dacey, you need to sit down and rest, your face is that funny color again."

"Dacey, did you take your vitamin? You take your vitamin every morning so you and the baby and can get big and fat."

"Dacey, your shirt popped open again; maybe you ought to get a different one from the storage room."

"Dacey, don't carry that wood. The baby might not like it being bounced on his head like that."

"Dacey … Dacey … Dacey …"

A few times he made me want to laugh. A few times he irritated the living daylights out of me. A few times he made me want to cry with his sweetness. But a lot of the time he just made me proud. I grew to know for certain that my brother could be all right when he got older … he was just gonna get there the long way around. He might always be a little slower and little different … but he was gonna be OK.

It was for Daniel and the baby that I got up every morning and tried to do the right thing. So often all I wanted to do was crawl off and lick my wounds of loneliness and hurt. Hurt that Abel had gone off. Hurt that I hadn't told him about the baby before he'd gone off. Hurt that that is what it would have taken to get him to stay, and remembering that I was right back at the beginning of the circle and hurt that he'd gone off.

But for all that Daniel tried to help … and did … there was a lot he just couldn't do. He didn't suddenly become all graceful and careful overnight. Using an axe was still just too much to ask … for his safety and my sanity. I was back to using the forest's tree trash as my primary source of wood for the stove. Sometimes it meant that Daniel and I hiked and worked all day just to gather enough wood to last for the next couple of days.

I also couldn't trust him around the kitchen. He might be growing up but he was still Daniel and still prone to forget what he was doing right in the middle of when he was supposed to be doing them. He also wasn't a hunter … forager yes, hunter not so much. And even as May turned into June and we were able to fish and do other types of food gathering, I still had to be the one to clean the fish and gut the other animals, prepared them to eat, and do something with the hides and furs afterwards.

Then there was the cleaning and trying to figure out how to prepare for the baby. Reading those books Mom had hidden in her medicine chest gave me the willies. It all sounded a little too much to handle alone … or trying to keep Daniel out of the middle of it did anyway.

And why did I think about having to do it alone? Because I was becoming less and less certain that Abel was coming home. It was well beyond the three weeks they thought that they'd be gone at the longest. I looked down at my body, at the changes in my body, and I knew exactly how much longer they had been gone that they said they'd be. Not even Daniel asked when Abel was coming home anymore and that told me more than almost anything did that I wasn't alone in thinking that Abel was just like Jeff.

Sometimes I considered going to Amish Town but I wasn't sure I could make it up and over the Ridge. I was even less sure that I should take the chance. Things were stretching and pulling inside of me and my body didn't like it. I was so tired so much of the time that I'd started feeling a bit like a ghost.

I ate the best I could. Daniel brought in all sorts of forage. It had gotten to the point I'd had no choice but to let him go out on his own because if I got more than a mile from home it was like I was pulling a freight train behind me to try and get back. Fatigue would catch me off guard and sometimes all I could do was sit down and try and remember to breathe.

But I hated to let him go out alone. There were strangers in our valley. Not many, only a handful, but it was enough to add to my bushel basket of worry. I'd only caught a glimpse of them every now and again. They were more ghost than I was and we never saw the same one twice but it made me nervous anyway. Sometimes I imagined they were people that used to live here and they were coming home to die but it was only foolishness and fears. I never recognized any of the faces.

We did follow one of them, but only once. It was weird, like watching an old zombie movie. They just shuffled along without real rhyme or reason. And then they just fell down. After the person had lain there for over an hour I crept up to look to see why they were sleeping in the middle of the road … only they weren't sleeping. They were well and truly as dead as the zombie I'd called them, they just weren't the kind that got up again. I know that for a fact as some vultures were soon circling for a tasty meal and Daniel and I left the body where it lay, vultures or no vultures, because it was too creepy to do anything else.

There was a hole where Abel used to be. He was more of a presence in our lives than Jeff had been. With him gone it was like he had taken part of us with him. At first Daniel tried to be Abel and then in frustration he tried to revert to the way he had been when things had gotten too hard for him when he was little.

"Daniel, please don't. Don't you go and leave me too. I can't do this by myself. There's you and this baby and all of this other stuff. Please don't crawl inside yourself. I know it feels good for a while. Look how sick I was there for a while but it doesn't do you any good, it only makes things harder."

I don't know whether he was really listening to me and understanding or if his brain had worked it out all on its own; either way the next day he was back up and around and good ol' Daniel again. And just in time too because June was a hard month. As hard as the winter had been the summer looked to beat it. All the water ways and bodies – big and small – were swollen from the heavier than usual amounts of snow. Then it started raining. And it rained and rained and rained.

The meadow around the sink became muddy and we had to be careful not to leave muddy trails for anyone to see. I had to find a way to drain the meadow before it started filling the sink itself up. I wasn't sure how I was going to do it because there was no where for the spring water to go and it was already backing up. There were no seeps inside the cave but I knew it was just a matter of time.

Then I got the bright idea to dig a cut from the meadow to a natural gully that was the natural property line that had been used for generations by people on this end of the valley. It was like a granite sluice that ran for miles. Water was already pooling in the gulley but it was no where near capacity.

When I tried to start at the meadow end of the canal I wanted to dig every shovel filled with water and mud before I could add another one. So we changed ends and started at the gully. Daniel and I would take turns digging we me using a level every few feet to get the run off just right. While one of us was digging the other would gather stones to line the bottom of the canal with so it wouldn't just erode and fill with mud the first time water ran through it.

It took every bit of time we had that month. Rather than being the shortest line between two points we had to zig zag around some big rock out croppings but eventually we completely a small canal. The run off from the meadow was so gradual that at first I didn't think it had worked but within two days the water level surrounding the sink had gone down significantly … and so had my energy level.

I'd had no choice. We had to divert the water away from the sink somehow. If we hadn't we could have been flooded out with one real good gully washer; but it took the completion of the project took the last good bit of me with it. I hurt all over, liked I'd fallen down in the gully instead of just looked down into it. I was so tired I couldn't even force myself to eat even the meager helpings that Daniel kept urging on me.

Daniel knew something was wrong but I didn't know how to explain it to him. I just didn't have anything left to give. I was all give out. "Take a nap Dacey. That's what Dog and I do when we get tired. That'll make you feel better. It has to."

I was just so tired. "All right Daniel, I'll try. But don't let me sleep too long. I need to take care of that hen with the broken wing. We'll have for Sunday dinner tomorrow whether it is Sunday or not."

He was near tears. "Just take a nap Dacey. You'll feel better."

I decided to stretch out on the ledge and just relax a little. I hadn't really planned on napping, there was too much to do. Not only the chicken with the broken wing but I needed to separate some of the chicks and try and figure out which ones were roosters and which ones weren't. Then the piglets needed to be fed … only they weren't piglets anymore but full blown hogs and the boar was starting to get an attitude and he didn't even have any tusks yet. Then the coop needed repairs and laundry needed to be done and wood needed to be collected and cut and Daniel and I needed to do some foraging and …

At some points in my worries I must have really fallen asleep. The end of June was nasty warm from all the rain and water and the mosquitos could be a misery during certain parts of the day. I came awake thinking there was one buzzing in my ear. Only I realized it was an angry mosquito it was an angry Daniel … and he was talking to someone and it wasn't Dog.

Nearly in a panic I tried to claw myself the rest of the way awake and climb up the stairs. I was half way up when a spell of dizziness hit me and I started to fall. I remember giving a scream but that's it.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 46

Seventeen. When my parents were alive it seemed so far off, like it was never going to get here. Then after they died it was no longer important; acknowledging the passage of time only seemed to mean that I was further and further away from them, from the good things my life had been and no closer to the end of the suffering I felt. Time certainly wasn't important to Daniel and that seemed the best way for me to handle it as well.

Then Abel came into our lives and our friendship turned into something so much more. I started to measure time again. When was the last time I had seen him. When would I see him again? How much time did we spend together? Then the winter illnesses that brought back all of the horrible memories of my parents' deaths, of being alone. My fear of being pregnant battled with my fear of spending all my time alone.

Finally they get well then I get "sick" and then well and while I'm still confused and trying to figure out where everything is going my conscious mind finally acknowledges I might be pregnant. I accept the reality of being pregnant and then Abel going off brings back memories of Jeff disappearing from our lives. I was scared that I was going to be left alone to take care of Daniel and even more scared that Daniel might be left alone to take care of my baby and what a disaster that would have been.

Death from disease, starvation, and violence surrounds us on all sides. We may be insulated from it but that doesn't mean it isn't there. It doesn't mean that it might not strike any one of us at any time.

Thankfully Abel returned to me … to us. Thankfully I didn't have to face it all the time and responsibilities in front of me alone. But as the days passed the shoe was suddenly on the other foot. Now I worried about leaving Abel alone; leaving him alone to take care of Daniel, of the baby and everything else. I saw the fear lurking in his eyes as well. I even saw a certain confusion and fear begin to lurk in Daniel's eyes. And I could do nothing to allay their fears no even my own.

I ate the best I could; both Abel and Daniel saw to that. But it seemed like my body, once so easy to care for, doing anything and everything I asked of it, had suddenly developed a mind of its own. Sometimes what I ate would stay down, sometimes it would not. Sometimes I felt good after I ate sometimes I felt worse. I craved sleep yet when I did it only seemed to make me crave more. No matter how I tried to hide it by the end of July there was no denying my condition was getting worse.

I had to get up in the middle of the night and wound up spending more time in the bathroom than I had meant to. When I came out I was shaking. I found Abel standing there like the wrath of God.

"I am going for Josef before first light. He will come."

Shaking my head I told him, "Um, it's too late for that."

"No. Do not say that," he demanded as he helped me back to bed. "It cannot be too late. I won't hear it."

I sighed. "I need you here."

Frustrated he said, "And you need a medico. None of my aunts and cousins were like this. Something is not right."

"Abel listen to me. None of that matters right now. I need you here because the baby is coming."

"Si soon. That is ... why ...". He trailed off suddenly understanding what I had been saying. "The ... the bebe ... comes ... now?"

"Well, maybe not right this second but certainly it seems to mean to be born today."

I didn't even try and translate the slew of Spanish that fell out of his mouth at that point. I don't think I could have anyway. It was just one long string of syllables full of guttural sounds with the occasional squeak thrown in for good measure.

We had prepared for this. Abel knew about animals being born as I did, we'd both been raised on working farms. Human babies were different but not that much. It was what came after that was different. I wouldn't be licking my baby clean. Nature would only go so far to help. We'd have to cut the umbilical cord ourselves. We would need to make sure the baby could take its first breath. The baby would need diapering and swaddling. It was going to be completely helpless. And by the time the noon meal came and went, that is exactly how I felt as well.

I once heard a lady at church tell Mom that having a baby was like trying to push a watermelon through a drinking straw. Another lady said it was worse than trying to pass a kidney stone. Another lady said it was like the old joke of trying to take your bottom lip and pull it up over the top of your head. Personally I'm not sure it is the pain so much as it is you have no control over what is happening. There is no time out when a baby decides to be born. There's no stopping to catch your breath or taking a moment to think. And eventually you don't want anything other than for it to hurry up and be over with.

I gave up being in the bed; all it did was make me miserable and uncomfortable. For a while I sat in a rocking chair and basically just zoned out. For a while I even thought I had the labor thing down but all of a sudden – zap! – things started changing.

The books call it a transitional period. Yeah right. More like a period of going crazy trying to figure out just how uncomfortable things can get. I walked, I bent over, I kneeled, I tried lying on my side, I tried getting on all fours … I felt like a pretzel that was trying to escape being twisted. I felt pain in places I wouldn't even talk to Abel about. Eventually it settled into waves and I just survived from the peak of one until the peak of the next. Then the valleys disappeared and I was riding a wave of pain that didn't seem to want to end.

Trying to remember the tail end of it all makes my head hurt. Things got fuzzy and the lights started going in and out. Eventually I felt this big … well, kind of goosh and then it was like this slithery … ok, I give up. There isn't really any way to describe it if you've never done it. Basically the baby came out.

That's when things got scary. It didn't cry. I remember Abel praying and Daniel crying and it seemed like a long, long time and then there was this strange squeaking noise. The sound made me happy but in a far away dreamy sort of way. I was floating away … just drifting … and not much seemed to matter.

I vaguely recall my chest getting pounded on and then something being forced into my mouth. I wasn't all there anymore but a part of me knew what was going on, I couldn't do anything about it. I knew I needed to help but I seemed to have forgotten how. Then it was like a big electric shock and everything went black.

I can't tell you how much later it was but there was this squeaking and I knew, absolutely knew, that it was for me and me alone. And something told me I had a choice. I could listen to the squeaking, do something about the insistent tugging, or I could go back to sleep and never wake up.

The temptation to go back to sleep was pretty big. I was tired, not just from the baby but it seemed like from a bunch of stuff that I hadn't realized was weighing me down. I was ready to just let go then behind the squeaking and the tugging I heard a voice … deep, gravelly, so full of sorrow that it was almost too much to bear. I knew I knew that voice and then I remembered and it became much easier to tell the temptation to take a hike.

I couldn't open my eyes, they seemed glued shut but I could sigh. It seemed important that I let him know I was there. I must have done it a couple of more times, trying to form the letter A but barely making a difference.

"Querida?" The incredulous tone of voice told me he still wasn't sure he was hearing what thought he heard. I tried a few more times but I was so tired I wasn't sure if he understood before the darkness claimed me again.

I woke up again to tugging and a deep cramp. I must have moaned loud enough that Abel heard me and finally believed me. The tugging continued with Abel's gentle assistance and then I heard him directing someone to do something and there was a sudden burst of taste on my tongue as a very strong broth was spooned into my mouth.

"Easy Daniel, remember she may not be able to swallow."

His reply made it sound like he was concentrating every cell of his body on the task before him. "She's swallowing it Abel! She's really swallowing … it isn't just dripping down her throat this time."

"Good … good …"

"God did do it didn't He Abel! You said He would and He did!"

"Si Daniel, but quietly now. The baby must concentrate so that she can drink."

"When's she gonna grow? She's still puny. If she's eating shouldn't she be growing?"

Normally such a question would have made Abel laugh, smile at least, but instead I heard nothing but extreme control. "It will take time, that is all they need. Time and for us to take care of them."

Time seemed to pass but I can't tell you how much. I do know that when I finally opened my eyes it was to find the room quiet except for Abel taking care of things for me that had me so upset that my chest hurt.

"No," I moaned in a nearly silent whisper.

What little sound I made startled Abel and his eyes flew to my face and he saw that my eyes were open. He was so shocked that he didn't understand I was just about dying of embarrassment right there

He leaned down, trying to hear me. "Are you in pain? Tell me Querida. Can you tell me?"

I could barely form the words and struggling to make him understand was draining me but he finally got the idea. Rather than embarrassment though he gave me a gruff answer I hadn't been expecting. "I will do what needs doing. I am your husband and it is my right to do these things for you. When you are well you can do them but for now …" Then I heard him sigh and he was less gruff. "Dacey, you took care of me when I was ill and I … I understand what it must cause you to feel. To feel like you are made helpless and a child. But just as you did for me, I do these things for love. Si? Comprende Querida?"

I didn't but the idea behind it seemed to ease what I was feeling somewhat. The next thing was … "Baabeeeee."

I could see he still looked very serious as he finished what he was doing and drew the covers over me. "She sleeps."

That could mean a couple of different things, some of which were too hard for me to bear. "Slllee ..?"

"Easy Querida. She is in a little drawer right here. She is too small for the bed we made. Daniel and I must be careful, she is nearly lost in the drawer."

"Small? Too small?"

He licked his lips and brushed the hair out of my eyes and I saw he hadn't shaved in a while but it was hard to tell how long because his beard always grew so fast. Finally he shrugged. "She is small. Very small. I … I do not know if she is too small." Then he leaned over and picked up a bundle that looked about the size of my mother's best dress up purse; big enough to hold but not big enough to put much in.

I was absolutely scared to death. I'd had dolls bigger than the tiny thing he placed in my arms. Then it started making noise and I realized what the squeaking had been. Next I realized what the tugging had been as Abel unbuttoned my night gown.

"Easy Querida." He gently moved me onto my side and then fixed it so that the squeaking stopped and the tugging started.

I didn't have a clue what to do but apparently my body did and what I couldn't figure out, Abel helped me with. It didn't take long before the baby went to sleep. He gently nudged her and she woke up again and started feeding some more. Eventually though she just wouldn't wake up to eat and he picked her up and patted her a little until she made this strange little bubble sound and then he changed her and laid her back in the drawer. All during this time all I could do was watch and it made a very deep and horrible ache in my chest. I remember crying but I don't remember going back to sleep but I must have.

My days flew by like that but eventually I was awake most of the time and the bleeding had stopped. I was very weak but I wasn't in danger of dying. From that point I improved every day until finally I was able to get up and get around. Abel and Daniel didn't stand constant guard over me as they had and I was able to take care of Leena myself … as in Catalina after his grandmother. Victoria was her middle name … Daniel named her after our mother. Catalina Victoria Montoya but the name was way too big for her so we all called her "Leena" for short.

July became August and August became early September and we should have been preparing for winter … and Abel and Daniel were. But underneath it all we held our breaths. Leena stayed small. She squeaked, she didn't really cry though I thought lately she had seemed stronger and louder. She filled up her handkerchief sized diapers as often as I remember Daniel doing and her poo stunk which meant that what was going in was definitely coming out all right.

The first time she smiled I nearly screamed and went running to Abel so fast he thought something was terribly, horribly wrong. When I explained and Leena did it again we all started prancing around the cave like a parade of crazies; me with Leena, Abel, Daniel, and even Dog joining in.

My energy came back but not the way it should have. I knew it. Abel knew it too. I rarely left the cave except on the warmest part of the day and only in the best weather. Still I managed to get a cough that took a while to kick. Then the first cool breeze blew and I worried that we hadn't done enough. That winter was coming and it just wouldn't be enough.

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 47 (part 1)

The rag tag end of my cough was finally gone and I needed some air, some sunshine. I knew what natural sunlight I got over the next few weeks would likely have to hold me all winter and I wanted to soak up what I could. I wrapped Leena in her blanket and climbed out of the sink. I didn't have to have help doing it anymore and I glad to not be tied down to someone else helping me all the time.

As I finally reached the top of the stairs I saw that Abel was chopping wood; he swore we wouldn't run short this year like we had last and he never let a spare moment go by that he didn't at least add a stick or two to our supply of fuel. Daniel, who had been growing so fast you could almost see it the few times you could catch him standing still, was bringing in another basket of forage to sort and dry or can as we needed.

I told him, "Hand me some of those and I'll help."

"Nuh uh … you handle Leena. This is my job."

"What? You think I've forgotten how?"

He looked at me and grinned mischievously and said, "Maybe."

I stuck my tongue out at him and said, "Razzle frats on you."

Daniel laughed but didn't bring me any of the forage. It was a good thing because Leena picked that moment to start squeaking. I picked her up and slid her under the poncho I wore a lot because it was just too hard to constantly run and change my shirt so she could get fed.

It's a strange thing. When Leena is eating I feel like I go off to Lala Land. I mean it is one of those things I imagine if you could bottle people would pay a lot of money for – assuming people still use money some place in the world – but it is kind of freaky as well.

Leena and I were all comfy on the blanket when the forest got quiet. I was about to sit up to see what had caused it when Daniel rushed over and covered us with a couple of branches and then hid behind it. "Stay quiet as a mouse Dacey. Two people are coming I … wait, that's not a people that's Josef."

I could tell he was about to jump up. "No!" I whispered. "Not until Abel gives the all clear Daniel."

A little chagrined he said, "Oh. Yeah. Good thinking Dacey."

My back had been to the direction the men had come from and I couldn't move without unhooking Leena and if I did that she wouldn't be real happy. She wasn't big and she really wasn't all that loud but she could let her feelings be known that's for sure.

Daniel went to stand up. "Daniel?"

"It's OK Dacey, Abel told me to come over. But you stay put 'til I check it out."

Oh my Daniel, I wish Dad and Mom could see him. Despite all of his issues he's more mature now as a young teenager than many of my older friends were before they were forced to grow up due to Heart Rot.

In no time Abel ran back over and carefully moved the branch off of me and then helped me to sit up. It was Josef all right but I didn't recognize the guy with him.

Abel walked up and said, "Dacey, this is Louis. I met him on the trip. He is a good man."

I nodded but continued to hold back. I was looking at Josef who was looking at me. He tried to hide his shock but I could see it behind his stoney face.

"I know what I look like Josef. Pretty pathetic huh?"

He knelt down and said, "I came over not knowing what to expect. Frankly I'm surprised we found you so quickly. I just went by the little bit that Daniel had said about you living near your parents' house and took the same trail I saw you take each time."

I looked in consternation at Abel who had a carefully blank look. "You didn't."

"Querida, there were a few times … I needed someone that would come to care for you and Daniel."

I was outraged and very upset and then suddenly dizzy. "Dacey!"

I wanted to be mad at him but just was too busy trying to keep my brain from spinning. The man named Louis said, "I swore a blood oath Missus Montoya. Wouldn't ever break one o' those … more than my soul is worth."

I looked at him and realized he talked kinda funny. He spoke good English but there was something strange about it. "Got me a Granny what Abel here promised to look after should something happen to me." He wasn't Amish either 'cause he said he'd sworn an oath and that was something they didn't do.

Then I realized why he sounded so different yet familiar. "You're from West Virginia."

He looked surprised but somehow pleased. "Sure am Missus."

I wanted to ask what he was doing here but Josef was trying to take Leena from me and I wasn't having any of it. "Dacey, let me check the baby out."

"Her. Her name is Leena and don't you dare take her blanket off, she'll catch a chill and she's too little to drink tea."

I realized as soon as I said it that it sounded strange and the concerned look on everyone's faces made me realize it sounded worse than that, it sounded crazy. I was getting upset and that only made the odd feelings I was having worse. Abel bent down and picked me up and then turned to Josef and Louis, "You swear by all you hold dear that no one else is with you or followed you?"

Josef looked offended but Louis stuck out his hand and said, "Made sure to lose the couple of young rascals that wanted to follow us and then came up behind 'em and put a scare into 'em. They left off after that. Nosey peckerwoods but no real harm in 'em but the both of them learned the hard way not to push me too far."

I could feel Abel nod and then turn to Daniel who he told, "Run ahead and clear the way." This must have been a secret between the two of them because when we finally entered the cave the pocket door at the end of the hall that led to all of the various storage are was slid closed and a book case stood in front of it.

Abel noticed me noticing and kissed the top of my head and I relaxed some. He might have told some, might have had a good reason for it, but he didn't tell all and didn't intend on telling all either from the looks of it.

I tried to think about what the rest of the place must look like and remembered that the kitchen was bare of everything except the forage that Daniel had been so faithful in gathering and if I had to guess the pantry door was being covered by the stand that held Mom's cookbooks and such. Abel gently laid me on the bed and then took the squeaking Leena from my resisting arms.

"Let go Querida. She won't go far, just right here on the bed … beside you, si?"

I started having trouble breathing again and Josef took charge. "Dacey, look at me. You've known me for years. You know I never hurt Daniel and I never would. There's no need to panic here. Just try breathing slow and steady."

He was right, I had known him a long time and he'd always been good with Daniel. Dad and had liked and trusted him. I tried not to think about the fact that Dad had liked and trusted the men that had come that day he and Mom had been killed but it was a tough battle barely won. Finally I said, "Right here where I can see what you are doing."

Daniel and Dog picked that moment to stick their head in the door and asked, "Abel, you want me to bring in some water?"

Since I knew for a fact we never had to bring water in it must have been some simple signal and Abel's answer of, "No Daniel, the barrel is full" must have been the answering one because Daniel grinned so big that it didn't make sense. Abel led Louie out and must have been taking him to the kitchen but I saw by the shadow on the wall that Daniel and Dog had parked themselves outside the door.

Josef noticed too. "He's different."

Since it was obvious who he was talking about I said, "He's growing up. It's to be expected. Abel counts on him a lot and so do I." I made sure it was loud enough for Daniel to hear. I wanted him to know I was proud of him.

Josef nodded and then looked around. "These work?"

"The solar lights? Yeah, we just keep them turned down low to save battery."

"Makes sense. That's how they do it at the farm too. We've been blessed that a lot of the people were already set with solar … one of the few things the Amish had over the Townies. Now let's take a look here."

He unwrapped Leena who did not like it at all. He looked at me and asked, "You keep her swaddled all the time?"

"She doesn't seem to like it any other way. She gets all fussy if I don't."

He nodded and I couldn't tell if that was a good thing or bad thing. Beginning to get anxious at his silence I burst out with, "She might be small but she's a good baby."

He looked at me and said, "It's all right Dacey. I'm just measuring her and checking her reflexes."

"Fine. But what is that telling you."

He wrapped Leena back up but rather than give her to me he said, "Your turn."

"No … way."

"Dacey, why do you think Abel took Louis off."

"I'm fine."

Daniel stuck his head in the door and asked, "Dacey you want me to hold your hand like Momma used to hold mine? It might help."

I sighed, knowing I was beaten. "No Daniel, it's all right. Just don't you peek you hear me?"

"I didn't peek when Abel was taking care of you did I?"

"No, so don't go doing it now."

Josef sighed and shook his head but that's the only sign he made that he thought I was over reacting. He really didn't do all that much but he asked questions that I really resented having to answer.

"You know, I don't know that it is any of your business," I told him after a particularly embarrassing question about me and Abel.

"You are about the most hardheaded girl I've ever met."

"Thank you, it's a gift I'm pretty proud of." I heard Daniel snicker.

Josef snorted but it seemed he was at the end of his questioning anyway. "Dacey, you've had a close call. You still aren't completely come back from the birth. From what you've told me you're lucky you didn't develop a fever, infection, or worse. And given it was you telling me and not Abel that means you probably aren't even telling me the whole of it and I'll be asking him a few questions too. Now you're obviously anemic and some of that is affecting the baby."

That stopped me. I whispered, "I'm … I'm hurting Leena."

"No, not hurting her. If anything its probably the other way around. A woman's body naturally puts the best in her milk before the mother gets it. Leena is probably syphoning off a lot of the nutrients you need for yourself."

Relieved I said, "I don't care. All I care about is her growing up."

He nodded, "Which is what I figured which is why Abel is going to need to watch and make sure that you get what you need."

Not being the idiot he must've took me for I said, "Don't even think about telling me I need to eat liver. If I eat more liver I'm gonna turn into one. Chicken liver. Pork liver. Venison liver." Sighing remembering the sight of Abel and Daniel with my mother's books out and making a list I added, "Egg yolks, leafy greens, fish, chickweed, catnip, burdock … and I have to have blackstrap molasses in my tea instead of honey." That was a real grievance for me. I liked molasses but I preferred honey when it came to my tea.

Josef looked surprised and then said, "Oh … your mother would have taught you."

"Yes and her books are still around and Abel has gone over every single one of them. He's got this long list of what I'm allowed to eat and what I'm not and what I'm allowed to do and what I'm not."

I was running out of steam and trying not to show it. Daniel must have noticed because he came over and said, "It's all right Dacey. Why don't you take a nap. I'll take Josef over to the kitchen."

"No. I'm getting up. If we have company …"

In the end my stubbornness only took me so far. I walked as far as the kitchen but all I was allowed to do was sit in the rocker and "decorate the room" as Dad used to call sitting around doing nothing.

Abel had gotten pretty efficient in the kitchen but he was wily too. We had intended to start culling more of the flock before it turned too cold so he just did one of them early. It was a gimpy ol' hen that wasn't laying anymore and was starting to get picked on so it was really putting her out of her misery sooner rather than later. I told Daniel which herbs to use to season the hen and then they roasted it while we all sat and talked. Or rather they talked, I went to sleep after I fed Leena.

I woke up realizing she wasn't in my arms and jumped. Abel got up and it was only a few steps before he was beside me. I wasn't awake all the way and after he let me know Leena was in her little box beside me and then he put an afghan over me I started to sleep back into sleep but not before I heard Josef ask, "How often is she like this?"

"She is much better than she was."

"This is better?"

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 47 (part 2)

There was a pause and then Abel said quietly, "This is much better. For a long time … I thought I would lose one or the other of them, perhaps both. I … I thought about … but Dacey would have never forgiven me and I could not have forgiven myself. So, I helped Dacey to … to care for Catalina. It … it slows her getting better. Yes?"

Josef sighed and said, "As you said, I doubt Dacey would have forgiven you if you haven't tried and there's no way a baby that size can go on any kind of milk even if there was some. You've done good to do what you did. Do you have any of those pre-natal vitamins left?"

"No. I ground them up and put them in the water we were feeding her hoping they would help."

"Probably more than you knew from what I've seen and heard from you both. They'll both remain delicate through this winter. You'll have to be very careful even if she gets stubborn. I'm not sure what is causing those spells you say she has, it could be any number of things; lack of a vitamin or mineral her body is craving, the anemia she is experiencing, simple fatigue, maybe a form of stress driven panic, who knows. But Abel, you're going to have to face facts. You said you had to perform CPR a few times; the spells could be a direct result of the loss of oxygen and may be a permanent fixture from now on. Are you prepared for that?"

"I … I have thought of that. I had a cousin who had asimientos, what you call seizures. They did not stop her from having a life, a family, she simply had to take care once she learned to recognize when they were coming. As for the rest, we have spoken of her need to take care and she has agreed; she does not wish to leave us." He continued to talk but I was just too tired to listen.

I woke again when I heard the oven door open and smelled the chicken. I wasn't exactly hungry … not in it was a pleasure to eat kind of hungry; but my body craved the food, sometimes so much it hurt. But I was embarrassed. The first time we had company since my parents were alive and I was barely moving around more than a slug.

Louis noticed and told me matter of factly, as if he had somehow read my mind, "Don't fret on it Missus. My Granny is the same way but there are just days when God deems her to have a Sitting Day and on them days it's just best to do it 'cause that's what He wants. Reckon He must have something mighty fine planned for that little peanut o' yours what with all you've been going through to keep her and raise her. Reckon there's a reason for it and for the way you're feeling. Best let God do as He sees fit and stay outta His way and mind Him."

I was beginning to understand why Abel had trusted the man. He grows on you in a weird way very quickly. Abel asked him to say our dinner prayer and Louis seemed pleased to be asked. The men tried to take only meager portions but I told them, "Eat. The sooner that carcass is cleaned up the sooner it can be put in the pot to make broth with. And eat your share of the greens, no one wants to eat reheated, wilty greens."

I didn't have to tell them twice and soon enough dinner was over with, the dishes were cleared away with all of them helping to clean their own plates – that was another embarrassment and I hated imagining what my mother would have said about it – and then we all went into the living room where Daniel heated up a pot of acorn coffee for the men. The "coffee" was really just roasted acorn meats that were then percolated in an old coffee pot but Abel liked it well enough and Josef and Louis seemed to as well. I stuck to water. I was always thirsty it seemed.

Abel asked after their families and then once the formalities were out of the way he asked what we'd both been wondering, "What of the seeds?"

Both men grinned, "Nearly forty percent germination. And almost all of those produced something; not anything approaching normal but they did produce. The A-Town voted to save everything for seed though we did give each of the children something."

Abel asked, "And everyone was willing to do that?"

Josef shrugged but Louis said, "Most. Got some real knotheads even in a place like A-Town. But feeding the kids like we do they didn't have a whole lot of support for what they wanted."

"What they wanted?"

Louis snorted, "Wanted to use the seeds like gold, try and trade for more solar or fuel so that we could get some of the big tractors up and running."

I said, "What's the sense in having tractors if you don't have seeds to plant?"

"Good question Missus. They said them soldiers would bring us more in the spring. Bird in the hand is worth two in the bush says I."

Abel asked, "How is the town set for winter?"

Both men became grim. "We'll squeak by. We've got teams that will watch everyone better this year. We'll lose a few but not to outright starvation if we can help it. Most everyone that was going to go that route already has, now we just need to care for the weak and less able bodied, the widows, and the orphans. Seeing the crops this year has bolstered those that were weak in spirit as well."

The men continued to talk and when they wound down I asked Josef, "How's Monica?"

He gave the barest of smiles, "About like you would expect." That about covered it and we both knew it. I'd already heard the baby had been a little boy and they'd named him Adam. He'd been born at only six pounds but apparently that was a good weight these days. They had a higher than normal number of stillbirths and miscarriages and it was being put down to poor nutrition and stressful living. Remembering that had me cuddling Leena closely to my chest.

Abel must have noticed because he changed the subject to something less upsetting. There was a little more talk but I was busy caring for Leena and then we all went off to bed. When Abel and I were there together, after making sure our guests were cared for, he asked, "Will you forgive me?"

I wasn't going to fool around and pretend like I didn't know what he was talking about. I sighed, "I told you when you first came that this was your home too. I just wish you would have given me some warning or we had talked about it. My parents always talked about the big stuff before they went and did it."

"Si Querida, but it was a battlefield decision. We were in a bad spot and … and I did not want you to wonder if I never came home. I saw what Jeff's disappearance made you feel. I could not do that to you."

Looking at it from his perspective I suppose I might have done the same. "I'm not … not angry Abel. Just … I don't know … I don't know if I feel so safe here now."

"You forget Querida."

I asked, "Forget what?"

Abel's voice got still and as hard as I had ever heard it. "I know where they live too."

The threat was implied and I believed him. That didn't exactly make me feel any more comfortable with someone knowing but it reminded me as nothing else could exactly where Abel put us in his life. We were the top priority and something in me told me we always would be.

We both were quiet a moment then I asked, "What do you make of the seed germinating?"

I felt him shrug. "It means there is hope, but there was always hope. We just need to go through the fire and trust that we will outlast it. It will be next year that tells whether this year was really important. Will the seeds continue their viability or has the Heart Rot programmed them to self destruct? One year is not enough to see the direction the road is leading."

"I suppose."

"Now, did Josef tell you anything I should know about?"

It was my turn to shrug. "I don't think he knows any more than we already figured out for ourselves. Did he say anything to you?"

He was quiet for a moment and said, "He said that we should wait a long while and not risk another pregnancy until you are fully recovered from this one. He spoke of a few … suggestions … that might help with that."

Indignant I told him, "That's none of his business."

"I made it his business by asking. And he is right. I understand you do not like … er … speaking of certain things. But soon we must. We are man and woman, not beasts of the field that breed for no reason but instinct."

The way Abel put things sometimes seemed a little crude, but it was true nonetheless. I shook my head and my hair snapped and crackled from the static electricity in it. "I don't mind talking about that stuff with you. What I don't like is someone else making like it is their business and they can tell us what we can and cannot do. Whether we have leventy-dozen kids or only Leena that's between us and God and isn't anyone else's say so."

He kissed my temple. "Querida." He kissed me again and then put some distance between us. "I am not a rutting bull. I can do this," he mumbled to himself in Spanish. I don't think he thought I understood but I did. I understood something else too.

"You're not the only one that misses the … er … closeness Abel."

He stopped and then said, "No?"

"No. But I guess we've got to do what we've got to do. I'm feeling a little better every day. Maybe some days it doesn't look like it but I am. I'm determined about it. This past year has been hard … for all of us. I don't think I ever imagined a time would ever be so hard. But we're getting through it and some good things have come out of it. We just need to hold onto that part of it. I don't know what this winter will bring … or even next year; probably good things and bad just like life always seems to bring."

He scooted back to my side and we spooned up together for warmth and mutual comfort. He sighed in pleasure. "Si. But we can do this yes? Daniel is growing. Leena is growing. And we are growing too. Each of us in our own way. It makes me eager to see what tomorrow will bring."

I rolled to face him and snuggle up under his chin, "Tomorrow's good, but let's not forget about right now. Right now seems pretty good too. We just need to think around the problems that might come up. No reason we can't get er … creative."

His voice took on a husky note and in agreement he said, "Si … right now seems pretty good too. May God help us find ways to be creative for the rest of our days."

 

[Kathy in FL]

Chapter 48 - EPILOGUE

"Daddy, why do Uncle Daniel and Aunt Pauline live in a hole in the ground? Wouldn't it be better if they lived in a house like us?"

A little dark skinned boy runs up behind the little girl and taps her hard enough to make her stumble and yells, "You're it!" before running off. The girl just rolls her eyes and continues to walk beside her father as her siblings dart this way and that between the trees.

The father looked down and thought just how much she had turned out like his own mother, even her looks, which caused him a twinge. Since she was waiting for an answer he said, "I grew up in that 'hole in the ground' … or at least until I was about six or seven."

"Is that when Poppa finished the house where we live now?"

"No, that was only a little place. Poppa tore that down when he built the big house we all live in now."

"But why don't they come live with us now when Poppa and Mawmaw are gone? Aunt Leena lives with us now."

"Aunt Leena and Uncle Adam are only visiting until they get their place finished. Now that Uncle Adam is finished with all of his training he is going to start his own medical practice on this side of the ridge while his brother keeps the one going that his dad started over in A-Town."

"But doesn't Uncle Daniel want to live with us anymore? He used to. Did we do something wrong? I miss him."

The father smiled. "No Sweetheart. My Uncle Daniel is … well he needed his own place. All the noise and ruckus up at the big house doesn't always set too well with him. Aunt Pauline is the same way. And out here they are closer to the plants and animals they like so well."

"'Cause Uncle Daniel and Aunt Pauline are special?"

The man asked abruptly, "Where did you hear talk like that?"

"I heard a lady at church say it. She said it real funny like she didn't mean the word like the word is supposed to mean."

"Now you listen here young lady. Uncle Daniel and Aunt Pauline are a little … different … eccentric maybe … but God made them just like He made us and I better not hear another thing about it."

Properly subdued the little girl said, "Yes Daddy."

The father, regretting how forcefully he'd reacted added, "I know you don't mean anything bad by it Vickilynn but words have power and using the wrong words can be hurtful to people. Folks like Uncle Daniel might take the long way around to get someplace or they might have a totally different way of looking at things, but that doesn't make it wrong."

Reassured the little girl said, "Yes sir." After a pause she asked, "But why do we come out here every day? Why don't they come to us sometimes?"

"'Cause Uncle Daniel is real busy this time of year and your Mawmaw made me promise when she went that I'd keep an eye on them just in case. Besides, this is your Uncle Daniel's and Aunt Pauline's anniversary, they've been married five years. Your momma will skin me if we don't get this cake delivered and get back to the house to help with the garden and J. Paul."

"Daddy, is like Uncle Daniel?"

The man paused and then nodded, "A little bit. Your Mawmaw swears he's quieter than Uncle Daniel was at that age though."

The little girl looked completely unconvinced and asked, "You sure?"

The man laughed and reminded her that her grandmother was never one that liked being questioned so if she said Uncle Daniel was noisier than is they'd just have to believe it.

The man stepped into the clearing and looked around at the place that hadn't changed much since he'd been a child running as free as his own small children were doing now. Uncle Daniel and Aunt Pauline were sitting on stools he'd made them for last Christmas shelling beans, something they seemed to have endless patience and energy for.

He watched each of his children begin to settle down as they knew that if they wanted their Uncle Daniel to show them some new and interesting thing he'd found in the forest they'd need to play by his rules of staying calm or he'd get fed up with them and tell them to come back some other time. They also knew not to startle Pauline and he was grateful that they were careful with her even if they didn't know the whole of it.

Pauline had been a slave during the Starving Years and had nearly died before being rescued by the militia in that area. Then several well meaning people had paired her up with a man that had turned out to be an abuser. By the time he'd died – been killed in a brawl actually – Pauline was like she was and there was no changing it. Uncle Daniel had met her one time when they were taking some goats to market and for some reason known only to God and Uncle Daniel it was love at first sight for both of them. The man's mother had done what was necessary and Pauline had come home with them and the rest as they say was history.

He leaned against the tree and thought about his own childhood and about his sister Leena … and about his other siblings as well, all of them seeming to have outgrown the wanderlust and finally decided to return to the home they couldn't seem to wait to escape when they were young and raring for adventure. He was the youngest and the only one that had never seemed to feel the need to see what was "out there."

He looked up to see Aunt Pauline quietly waiting for him to notice her. He took off his hat and said, "I beg your pardon. I was wool gathering."

She gave a small smile and said, "You miss them don't you Jeff."

He nodded, "Yes ma'am. I sure do. But it had to be the Lord's work that they were able to go together. There's no other explanation for how things happened the way they did."

His parents had been gone three months and it still caused him a twinge but he knew where ever they were they were happy just to be together.

# # # # #

On the other side of the world the old woman stopped to empty a stone out of her shoe. The hike had been lovely but tiring too, especially on the heels of the big ceremony dedicating the memorial to the men and woman that had left Spain at the behest of the UN and never returned. "Reckon the children are doing all right?" she asked the man at her side.

"Jeff will have things well in hand Querida. And Daniel is there to help if need be."

Dacey nodded. "I know, I know. Time I cut the apron strings. Just he's the youngest and … well, as much as I've had fun seeing your old home Abel, I miss the noise of our own around us. I'll be glad to start back tomorrow. It was nice that you found some of your cousins still alive but, I feel like such a stranger around here."

Abel smiled and said, "Yes, me too. It is so quiet here. I thought …"

"Thought what?"

His shrugs were still as eloquent as ever. "Perhaps to find a piece of myself I had left behind."

Curious she asked, "Did you?"

A rakish grin partially hidden by a mustache and well-trimmed beard preceded his cocky swagger in her direction. "No Querida. I realized if you had not come with me that would have been the piece that was missing."

Dacey smiled realizing age didn't change as much as she thought it would. "So, did you like the ceremony?"

"Eh, it was all right. Too many in the audience didn't seem to really understand what the memorial represented. I saw very few people our age except in the special visitor stands and of them, I saw very few who seemed happy to remember only that they survived. It was a spectacle. I am glad my cousin got us those passes so that I could tell the story of those that had died with honor but I'm not sorry to be returning to where I now belong."

"To be expected I guess. Not a whole lot of us old timers around, or at least not in any shape to do a bunch of gallivanting around like we've been doing."

The swagger had drawn him very close and he whispered huskily, "You still … gallivant … quite well."

That caused Dacey to laugh out loud. "Honesty Abel, that ceremony was supposed to be serious and here you are … well … acting like you're acting."

Abel smiled and then leaned against the tree while his wife finished tying her boot. "I can think of no better affirmation of life than that and a prayer of thanksgiving. We've already said our prayers, so why not now the other? We lived through seven long years of the Heart Rot. To have survived it was a miracle, a blessing from God above. And the recovery afterwards was just as long and nearly as hard as the Starving Time as the world tried to find its way. Then the war … but it is all done … at least until the next crisis and there are children and grandchildren and hope."

"Why Abel Montoya … there's always hope."

"Si Querida, there is always hope," as he swooped in for a surprise kiss that had her laughing all over again.

THE END

 

[Mr Bill]

Thank you for a really great story

 

[ted]

Loved every line, thank you.

 

[Lake Lili]

Thanks Kathy... Chapter 43 (part 2)/post #70 has a repeat that begin half way throught he paragraph:

"That's what I thought." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "The most common side effect of poor nutrition is low birth weight but that comes with a whole slew of dangers of its own. ig bottle of pills.) REPEAT STARTS HERE He said to me, "This are vitamins. Take them. Even if you don't think you can get it down, take one each day. It's important Dacey. You've already had some nutritional interruptions in the first trimester."

Love this story! Thanks!

 

[Texican]

Thank you Kathy for bring "Forsaken Harvest" over.

God does work in our lives even if we do not realize it.

God bless.

TD

 

[FireDance]

Wonderful! Thank you so much.