Story Enduring on the Lake
- Thread starter Kathy in FL
- Start date
Chapter Twenty-Five
It was noon before all the ruckus died down as cops came around, evidence was taken, people were questioned, and those still at the lake wanting to add their two cents got their chance. Half of them swore they knew all along what pervs they were and had been warning folks and the other half said they were just about shocked to their core and traumatized by the whole thing. I hid in the kitchen with Max making muffins. I even won over Deputies Laurel and Hardy.
“And you’re saying that you called the authorities immediately?”
“Yes Sir. Daddy said that I was to do whatever it is that Mr. Lawrence and Uncle Red tell me to. He wouldn’t let me stay up here as caretaker if he didn’t think there wasn’t someone to oversee things.”
“And how do you know them?”
“Oh, well I think Daddy and Uncle Red served together but Daddy got shot in the line of duty and got discharged because he then had to have pins in his pelvis. Uncle Red finished out his tour and after discharge became a sheriff. I think Daddy said they were in the National Guard together but neither one of them likes to talk about it and they don’t think it is appropriate to talk to me about it. Things were kinda rough when they were in service.”
“Hmm.”
“Would you like a muffin?”
“I … er … well …”
“I made a bunch. I hope you’ll eat one that way the Slowthowers will eat one. I think they need to settle down their stomachs a little. And Max needs to eat something and won’t if the grown men don’t.”
“Er …”
“They’re apple streusel. Homemade. And I have butter or margarine if you’d like some. I’m afraid I don’t have any coffee. Daddy never approved of me drinking it so I never developed the habit. Not to mention that stuff is expensive as all get out.”
Soon enough I had to hand out napkins for all the men to brush the crumbs off their shirts. Annie had just come from settling her mother and grandmother down and stuck her head in the kitchen to say, “That’s a good trick. I’ve used it a time or two myself. Just watch that acting empty headed … somebody might think you really are.”
I shrugged. “The ones that know me know I’m just me. The ones that don’t know me I’ll figure out if they matter when I need to. Right now all I want them to do is stop doing the testosterone dance. It’s getting thick enough you can cut it with a knife. A couple of them are strutting worse than my rooster does.”
It was only a moment before I realized where Max’s rusty laugh came from. Annie had an almost identical one. “How about I send Zane in here and you can smooth his feathers. And you go sit down, you are about the color of sour milk.”
“Gee thanks,” I muttered at her retreating back.
I rushed to the bathroom and washed my face and tried to make my hair behave like something other than medusa’s wig. I stepped out into the hall to find Max leaning against the wall. “Need the bathroom?”
“I didn’t know where you were.”
“Trying to fix my hair and face so I didn’t scare anyone that looked too closely.”
He rolled his eyes. “You need to tell people where you’re going so they don’t worry.”
Trying to neither smile nor roll my eyes I said, “Oh really. I’ll try and remember that.” Changing the subject I asked, “How about a muffin or three? Muffins can cure just about anything if you let them. If you don’t want a muffin I can scramble you an egg.”
Completely out of left field he almost cried, “Terrance is going to call social services. He says we’re lying. He says I’ll be better off in foster care with proper influences in my life.”
“Yeah well he can kiss my left big toe. Your influences are just fine thank you very much. Especially compared to him and his friends. And if that isn’t enough the deputies got all their stupidity on record.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. They were kinda hard to miss. All those nut cases were making complete fools of themselves and yelling at the top of their lungs. The older couple staying two cabins over could even hear them and called the authorities just about the same time as I did, and their place is over a hundred yards away and closer to the lake.”
“Positive?” he asked obviously still worried no matter what I said.
“Positive. Now if you don’t want a muffin or a scrambled egg, what would you like?”
He sighed like an old man then asked, “How come you are always trying to feed me?”
“I do it now because there may come a day when I can’t. And besides, I like to. You don’t eat like you’re chewing cud and that matters.”
I could see he didn’t know what to make of my answer. “What’s cud?”
“That stuff that cows chew, swallow, then spit up to chew on some more whenever the mood takes them.”
Max made a face. “That’s sick.”
“So’s the fact that one of my college professors liked to lecture on the danger that cow flatulence used to pose to the environment. He claimed that all the cows in the world were one of the main causes of global warming.”
Completely distracted from his worry, at least temporarily, he said, “No … way.”
“Yes way. So what do you want to eat?”
“A scrambled egg please … uh … can I have two?”
“Sure. The cluckers gave me almost twice what they normally do. I think I must have slept through Monday for some reason.”
Max nodded. “Yeah, Zane was kinda upset that you never answered your phone.”
“I must have slept right through the ringing. I think I shouldn’t have eaten all that good food at the church potluck. Between that and the excitement my guts were done in rather righteously.”
He laughed and said, “Ew … gross.”
We turned the corner into the kitchen and while I might be willing to discuss my bowels with a nine-year-old boy I just about died to realize that Zane had overheard the entire conversation. But all he did was nod and say, “Wasn’t feeling all that hot myself yesterday. I love Sister Mixon’s chili, but it is definitely on the rich side.
Chapter Twenty-Six
The cops had all gone and Max had reluctantly left with the rest of his family. I’d had a long conversation with Daddy and Mom and rather than lecture me I was praised that I let someone else handle it and had followed instructions to a “T” and then they rung off asking me to keep the excitement to a minimum. I told them I would if given the choice and Daddy growled, “You make the choice one way or the other.”
I’d waved what I thought was the last of my goodbyes to everyone and was shaking my head at the ungodly mess that had been made in the yard when Zane’s truck came back. I walked out to meet him as he opened the truck door. “Is Max OK?”
“He’s already asleep. If they don’t wake him up they’re going to have to pull over so he can upchuck or they’re going to have to let him ride up front. He … er … don’t tell him I told you.”
“He already told me. He gets car sick. I told him not to worry about it because Sam used to do the same thing. He’ll probably outgrow it as soon as his body stops growing so fast and his inner ear and hand/eye coordination have a chance to catch up.”
Zane pulled his toolbox out of the back of the truck. “You always know what to say to him.”
I shrugged. “Not hardly. It’s just he and I agreed to be truthful with one another. So far it has worked out. I think some of it is he just senses all the things people don’t say around him.”
“No one wants to hurt his feelings.”
“He knows that, still, it makes him nervous because he’d rather have his feelings get pinched than have to wonder what people are thinking and saying. I was the same way. It bothers me when I can sense I’m not being told the truth or I’m not getting all the truth. And what’s with the toolbox? Aren’t you too tired to work on the maintenance list?”
“It isn’t that. It’s because it looks better than me just going into your place with nothing in my hands. This way if people want to watch they’ll think I’m here to fix a door or something. That railing for instance.”
I looked at him and said, “And … uh … you’re not here to fix the railing?”
“Nope. But we’re going to go inside … if … uh …”
A little flustered I said, “Oh … sure, of course. You want something to eat?”
“Maybe. Depends.”
I almost missed a step up the porch. “Depends on what?”
He reached around me and opened the door but stepped back to let me go in first. “On what we’re going to talk about.”
“We’re going to talk about something?”
“Yeah. ‘Cause after today … look … let’s … uh … you mind if we sit in the front room?”
“I guess.”
My head was starting to ache and I blurted, “Does your family not want me to be friends with Max anymore?”
“Huh? No! No, that’s not …” He stopped and sat down with a sigh. I nudged the ottoman over to him and he looked at me in gratitude before propping his foot up … the titanium one. “I left without … without putting a stocking on it.”
Realizing what the problem was I told him, “I have the same problem with tennis shoes when I don’t wear socks. Hang on. As long as it isn’t too bad I’ve got something that should help.”
“Wait … what?”
Too late, I was already going for my medical supplies. Having a mother who is a nurse is a win-win even when there are challenges. I came back and said, “Go to the bathroom and wash and dry the raw place real good. Then you come out here and I’ll …”
“Uh, no.”
“Uh, yes. Well anyway, you shouldn’t feel the need to get all bashful. It isn’t like you have to take your jeans off for this.”
Zane gave a slightly hysterical laugh. “What the heck? Syd …”
“You’re going to wind up really sore or with an infection now knock it off. I may not be a nurse like my mother, but she taught me how to do basic wound care and stuff like that. Plus, I helped her with Aunt Rhonda and my cousin Patrice before they got well enough to fight me. C’mon, I told you I had a friend that is an amputee. And one of Daddy’s uncles that I can just barely remember lost a hand in a combine accident when he was a young man. I don’t think it’s gross and I won’t go screaming into the woods or anything asinine like that.”
It took a little more persuading but finally he did as I asked and then came out … hobbled out using the walls and furniture for balance … and sat. He wouldn’t look at me at first but Mom always said that keeping things cheerful usually put the patient at more ease. And if you couldn’t be cheerful or if the situation didn’t warrant it, being business-like and calm was good too.
“What’s that?”
I picked up the bottle and told him, “It’s called Cicatrin. This goes in the wound. It helps to dry it out and heal it. I’m going to put a tegaderm patch over it.”
“I know what that is. I’ve used it before … is what I normally use when I have a bad place.”
“Good. Mom says it is the best stuff. Do you have enough? I have a couple of cases upstairs in the third bedroom.”
“I’ve … uh … got plenty.” I nodded and then started to put a dob of Vaseline on the outside of the tegaderm. “Hey, what are you doing?”
“This will make your stocking slide over the tegaderm without catching. Here is a pair of Daddy’s dress socks – he always brings them here and leaves them because he can’t stand to wear them. Mom finally stopped buying them after she figured out what he was doing but not soon enough for there not to be enough socks for Sherman’s army. These are new so you don’t have to worry about other people’s feet funk.”
He snorted and I realized he’d finally relaxed. “This really doesn’t bother you does it. Doesn’t seem like much of anything does.”
I slipped the stock over his stump and then sat back. “Zane there are a lot of things that bother me and you’ve seen me cry like an idiot. But this? No, this doesn’t bother me. It’s … look it’s just about being honest. I know that sounds crazy and I’m sorry if I got up in your space and made you uncomfortable but …”
He sat forward and put his prosthetic foot on, then his shoe, and then rolled down his pants leg. “It made me uncomfortable … at first. Not even my mom or sisters …” He shook his head. “It even makes Josh and Junior uncomfortable. Max is the only one that …” He shook his head again. “You two are like peas in a pod and that’s going to make this next sound really strange.”
“I knew it. Your family doesn’t want me to …”
“Are you hard of hearing? I told you that’s not it. Look, about Sunday …”
“What about it?”
“I … I was kinda hard on you and …”
“Huh? Oh. You mean the lecture. Well yeah, but I figure I deserve it. It was pretty stupid not to run with Max.”
“Well yeah it was,” he said, still sounding a little exasperated. Then he calmed down. “But I didn’t have to lay into you like that. And I shouldn’t have done it where other people could hear it. It’s not my place.”
“In a way Daddy made it your place when he set you to watching me.”
“But you already let me know that that bothers you.”
I nodded. “It does. But not as much as it did in the beginning. I … I didn’t know you then and it … well …”
“It hurt your feelings to have your dad having a complete stranger doggin’ you.”
I nodded but added, “Maybe not a complete stranger. I remember you a bit and you were friends with Sam and Daddy and Uncle Red thought enough of you that they agreed that my feelings were on target about you being the right person for the job.”
“Your … uh … feelings?”
“Yeah. Max and I are alike in that way too. He reads people really quickly the same as me, he just doesn’t trust his readings, is naturally distrustful which turns being able to use his ability to read people upside down and make it a handicap at times. I went through a time when I didn’t trust my feelings either and stopped ‘feeling’ stuff … maybe on purpose I guess. You are the first one I’ve had a feeling about in a while.”
“Really?” he asked looking strangely interested.
“Uh huh. So anyway, I don’t mind the lecture. Like I said, I know I deserved one. Things could have turned out worse than they did … a lot worse.”
“Yes they could have,” he said quietly. “I still could have handled it differently. And for that I apologize.”
“There’s no need.”
“Yeah there is … ‘cause I say there is. I … uh … I did try and call yesterday. You didn’t answer.”
“Max told me. I guess I slept the whole day away. I don’t even remember getting up for nothing. I came in from church and was sick pretty much the rest of the day. I went to bed early and the next thing I remember is hearing the pounding on the door and thinking at first my head was pounding. Thank goodness I didn’t just roll over and go back to sleep.”
“You still don’t look … I mean …”
“I know. I’ve got a mirror. I look like Medusa’s ugly stepsister.”
“Not that bad … but you kinda don’t have a good color. It’s one of the reasons why I came back. I realized no one had asked if you needed help … or anything.”
“I’m fine. I’ve been shook up worse. I’m just concerned Max is going to dwell on this and refuse to put it in perspective.”
“He’ll deal. Lawrence said he’d speak to Brother Mixon and have him come over. Brother Mixon, before the arthritis in his hands got so bad, used to do a lot of work at church camps that served troubled kids. And he and Max have always gotten along … I think it is that honesty thing you mentioned. Brother Mixon pretty much tells it like it is whether it is uncomfortable to hear or not.”
“Yeah, I got that. I like him; you always know where you stand.”
We both grinned in understanding but mine faltered when Zane got serious again. “It … it scared me. Today. You and Max … you both could have been hurt … hurt bad.”
Agreeing I said, “We could have … but we weren’t. I guess there will come a day when I do get hurt again but …”
Zane interrupted, “What do you mean again?”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Trying to answer him I gave it some thought. “Zane, I know how I act. Most people probably think I’m … a simpleton – which is a nice way of saying stupid – or … or young for my age or something along those lines. You probably think it too and Daddy and Mom treating me like they do probably hasn’t helped that perception much. But I have good reason to act like I do. It’s nothing against anyone, just more like a …a … hmmm … a convenience I guess you could say.”
“A convenience? What by a Barbary pirate’s eye patch is that supposed to mean?”
Making a face at the saying that I knew for a fact Sam had helped make up when the boys were all young together I told him, “Don’t get upset. There’s no reason for you to. I’m more myself with you and Max than I am with anyone.”
“Oh really,” he said unconvinced.
“Yes really so let me explain before you get all bent out of shape though why you should I don’t know. Look, you know my parents. You’ve seen how they are. For a long time they needed me to … to …”
“They needed you to stay a little girl.”
“Yeah. So they could feel in control … of protecting me. At least about some stuff. Some stuff they expected me to be almost grown up about before I was ready to be. I know it sounds crazy; it used to drive Dan nuts. We weren’t allowed to go out on dates until I was halfway through my senior year of high school and even then it was grudgingly allowed … and that is to say both my parents felt that way.”
“I … I got the impression from Red that your dad had liked your … uh …”
“He did. Mom and Daddy both had liked Dan. And they were really good friends with his parents … and still try and be polite to them and support them despite everything that’s happened. But I … I’d prefer not to talk about it if you don’t mind.”
“You don’t trust me?”
“Huh? No. It just feels … icky.”
“Icky. Icky?”
“Yeah. Icky, so knock it off. Dan was a major mistake on my part. I’m … I’m not sure how or why or … or much of anything else for that matter, but it was a mistake. I let my feelings …” I shook my head. “I’d like to say it was just a crush or whatever but it wasn’t. My feelings were real and … and he … he broke …” Getting angry I threw one of my hands in front of me like I was brushing something annoying out of my way. “Like I said, I don’t want to talk about it. Suffice it to say that the whole situation and the things that came out during it are one of the reasons that I stopped trusting my feelings.”
“Until me.”
“Yeah until …” I looked up and he had an expectant look on his face that alarmed me. “Zane? You … uh …”
“Take it easy. I just wanted to know for sure … hear you say it … that you trusted me. I just want you to remember that … even when I wind up making an ass out of myself by yelling at you in front of other people.”
Sudden relief flooded me and I tried to play off his words. “Well I hope you aren’t going to make a regular thing out of it.”
“Probably at least as much as I hope you aren’t going to make a regular thing out of worrying the snot out of me. I don’t think it is real healthy for either one of us.” I was ready to laugh at the expression on his face until he said, “Because I’m not just watching you because your dad asked me to anymore. And I’m not just watching you because of Max.”
“Uh …”
“I just want you to know that. OK?”
Suddenly irritated I asked, “And what the heck am I supposed to do with that? That you’re just watching me and not for any particular reason.”
“There is a particular reason. I’m watching you for your sake. Because it would upset me to no end if something happened to you. You seem so damn innocent … not ready to be living on your own so far from family. Then you’ll turn around and say something sooo .. insightful and cynical … that you sound like one of Gran’s friends that come over for game night. Makes me so crazy my teeth hurt.”
In exasperation I asked him, “Did I ask you to worry over me?! Contrary to what everyone thinks I do have some brains in my head.”
“Yeah, you’re academically smart … really smart if half of what Max says is true.”
“Oh puh-leeze … as much as I love the little guy he is only nine.”
“Almost ten … and speaking of, what’s the deal not saying anything about your birthday?”
I sighed. Lord you’d think once you hit adulthood that not having a birthday would be no big deal but apparently some people still think it is. “Zane, I’m not a child. I know how my parents think of me. I know how you and just about everyone else around here think of me. Lawrence is about the only one that gives me any credit and that’s probably on accident. I honestly just don’t think my birthday is that big of a deal. I was nineteen and now I’m twenty. Big whoop. There’s nothing I can do today that I couldn’t do before.”
“You still can’t drink.”
Looking at him in disbelief I said, “Really?! You’re going with that argument are you? Because it isn’t like there isn’t practically a winery and distillery going on down in the cellar. I’m just lucky that Deputies Laurel and Hardy didn’t traipse down there and stick their nose into things.”
He grinned, “I saw you moved those sheets of plywood to cover stuff up.”
“You bet I did. Had to tell Max it was because I didn’t want anyone to see everything I had canned and get nosey about it. That’s one of the few half-truths I’ve ever told him. I just didn’t want him getting into trouble or noticing things too much.”
Zane kept grinning and said, “This is Harmon, you didn’t have to explain. Max would just assume you didn’t want the law on your private stash and not say anything anyway.”
I rolled my eyes and then admitted – at least to myself – that I had forgotten Daddy saying that almost all the local families have or had some kind of something running whether it is ‘shine or wine or beer. “Fine but that just makes it even truer. If I want something to drink a date on a calendar isn’t going to change it that I could imbibe if I wanted to.”
“Do you?”
“Do I what?”
“Imbibe,” he said, giving me the sense he was teasing me for my choice of word.
“You’re beginning to irritate me Zane. Not a healthy thing to do when I’m in the mood I’m in. You know doggone good and well things can turn nasty fast and not always because I want them to.”
I stood up to do I don’t know what but stumpy foot or not Zane is fast and reached over and stopped me. “Sit down.” When I chucked a hard look at him he added, “Please.”
I sat down but it was without good grace. “What is it you want Zane? To read me another lecture?”
“No. I’m trying to understand you.”
“For heaven’s sake, whatever for?”
“Because I feel like a cat and you’re one of them stupid laser pointers. I no sooner think I’ve caught you than I realize you were never there to begin with.”
“I’m not sure but that sounds like an insult.”
“Wasn’t meant to be. Just means you’re elusive as hell.”
I couldn’t help it. I laughed. “Zane, I think you’re short on sleep. I’m about as un-elusive as they come. You don’t think … uh … that I’ve been … er … trying to … to … uh …”
Zane snorted. “Spit it out Syd. Do I think that you’ve been teasing me on purpose? No. Do I think that you’ve been teasing me on accident? No … at least not that you’d ever admit to and either way it isn’t your fault. Do I think that you are about as interesting a woman as I’ve ever come across? Hell yeah. And all things considered I’m not sure what to make of that.”
I’m not sure how long I sat there looking at him with my mouth hanging open but it was long enough for his pride to get zinged and then for him to look at my expression closely and then start laughing. “Honestly Syd, you look like you’ve been nailed with a two-by-four.”
“Well … you called me a woman.”
He stopped laughing in surprise and then started laughing even harder than he had to begin with.
“What is your problem?!” I snapped.
“I profess to finding you interesting and all you can do is focus on I called you a woman.” He laughed some more then wiped his eyes and said, “That’s exactly what I’m talking about. I’m just never sure how much of what you do is an act.”
“Well I’m not acting thank you very much. And what is that supposed to mean anyway?”
“At the risk of making you even madder than you already are, did you drive Dan this crazy?”
I was ready to throw something. “I thought I told you I …”
“… didn’t want to talk about it. Fine. I don’t want the gory details anyway but answering something like that shouldn’t set you off like a bottle rocket.”
Gritting my teeth in irritation I told him, “I’m not sure how I made Dan feel. I thought I knew … and it wasn’t crazy, we … it seemed … look, we were young and friends at first and it just went from there. And things were … good … we both agreed that things were better than good … until they weren’t. Only I didn’t know it until it was too late … way passed too late. Daddy probably explained it all.”
“Yes and no. How about you tell me.”
“How about I don’t. It was humiliating enough the first time around.”
“He cheated on you.”
“Good Lord, what part of no don’t you understand?”
“No he didn’t cheat on you?”
“ARGH! I am going to the kitchen. I am going to bake some muffins.”
“You don’t need to bake any muffins. You’re tired and out of sorts and are likely to cause a kitchen fire in the mood you are in. I want you to sit here and talk to me.”
“I am going to thump you. I am going to thump you so hard …”
“You can try. C’mon Syd … talk to me.”
“Why?! Why on earth do you want to dig up that ancient history?!”
“Because it isn’t ancient history, and it is part of what makes you like you are. And for some damn reason that is all I can think about lately.”
sssarawolf
Has No Life - Lives on TB
Thank you.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Sensing I wasn’t going to get away with blowing him off in any way, shape, or form I sighed and gave him a very, very brief and edited version of the last two years of my life.
“So there you have it. The whooooole flustercluck.”
His eyebrows shot up into his messy hair and I turned away, embarrassed at the expression I had chosen to use.
“You are a lot angrier than you let on.”
I sighed. “If I constantly dwell on it, yeah. That’s why I don’t like to discuss it. But I suppose … for whatever reason you want to know … it’s not exactly like you were trying to get me angry. But seriously, I don’t like to talk about it. It makes me feel like a fool. A big one. And though I may let people think I’m a little silly or childish sometimes, I don’t ever want to be taken for a fool.”
He was quiet for a moment then he said, “I was driving. We went over an IED. We weren’t even on duty, just heading for some R-n-R to a safe haven kinda place. It was a charity thing. We used to play soccer with the kids and let ‘em see we weren’t monsters like some folks were telling them. Apparently someone didn’t like that.” He shook his head. “Somehow the explosion blew me out … most of the rest of the guys in the truck weren’t so lucky. I only lost my foot … most of them lost their lives.”
I sighed. I’d heard similar stories before. Mom used to do a lot of volunteering with the VA services until it became too much for her. “People can be such crapheads. Not that what happened to me is the same as what happened to you. Just the craphead factor stands out as a personality issue for some people.”
He leaned forward and said, “I still get angry. Not as much and not the same kind of angry … but I miss … well dammit I miss my foot. I miss it being tickled. I miss it itching. I miss the retarded way my toes would look when my foot would be wet for too long. I miss feeling cold, hot … I miss every feeling you can think of. I even miss stepping on Max’s damn Legos and having it hurt like a sumbitch. But there’s nothing I can do to change the way things are. Had a doctor tell me it was a grieving process. It took me a long time to understand that particular concept I tell you. It sounded crazy to be grieving for my own foot … but then I realized that’s exactly what I was doing, missing all the things that are gone and not coming back.”
“I … well I guess I never thought of it like that.”
“Maybe it is time you did.”
“Huh?”
“You’re grieving. You lost something or … or had it taken from you. Like my foot. This guy … Dan … he stole something, broke something, took it away. Maybe other people don’t want to see it that way. They think you’re young, that there is no way it could have been that much of a big deal … that you’ll get over it. But I understand. It was real and alive and now it isn’t. You’re grieving … for something that is gone and not coming back. And because I understand I’m asking you to listen to me even if you don’t understand what I’m saying right now. Can you do that? Just listen … and think about it?”
“Sure, I guess.”
He nodded like he knew that was about as good as I was going to give him. “One of the steps of grieving is being angry. But you can’t get stuck in that step or you’ll never progress. On the other hand, you can’t hide from it or ignore it and hope it eventually goes away either. Right now you have that all shoved in a box and think if you never take the lid off you don’t have to worry about it. The problem with that kind of thinking is whether you know it or not what’s inside that nice neat little box is growing. Pretty soon you are going to have to tie the box shut, tape it shut, whatever way you want to look at it … maybe even have to shove it in the back of the closet and put other stuff on top of it hoping that will keep it in. Eventually though the lid is going to come off that box. Either it will explode … and you might lose something vital along with it. Or it will be some kind of monster like the blob and ooze out and eat everything else up inside you.”
I barked a laugh without meaning to. “The Blob? That old movie?”
“Laugh if you want to Syd but I’m telling you that’s what is going to happen. But it doesn’t have to be that way.”
“OK, so you tell me how I’m not supposed to be angry? Because I’ve thought about it six ways from Sunday and I just can’t figure it out.”
“No one said you aren’t supposed to be angry. Stop trying not to be angry. Start trying to deal with why you’re angry.”
I opened my mouth and then closed it as I realized there was a difference and I couldn’t deny it.
“If you were anyone else Zane I’d say you were making this sound a lot easier than it is and that …”
“That I was trying to make your feelings smaller than they are?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“But I am who I am. And I’ve been where you are sitting right now. So worried about hurting other people that I only wound up hurting myself. And as for this thing with your parents?”
“What thing?”
“Don’t Syd. I finally started putting two and two together when you said I lectured you more than your dad.” He shook his head. “I know they care. I don’t know why they are doing … whatever it is they are doing. And there is probably more I don’t know. I know I’m surprised your dad didn’t tear off up here when he heard what had happened. Instead he just … I’m not sure exactly what it was but I saw you get all closed off. Even Red and Lawrence were surprised at how he reacted. Especially considering how protective he used to be. It must be quite a change for you.” He looked at my expression and said, “And you can get that thought out of your head. This is not some test your old man set up. And I’m not going running to him telling stories either.”
I shrugged. “It is what it is. I guess they’ve got their reasons.”
“Reasons that include keeping you away from the family?”
“Or keeping them away from me,” I said. “I’ll admit that I can sense that something is going on. I’ve got lots of theories but not a lot of reason to think any of them are more likely than the other. And since I can’t do anything about it I’m just going to focus on what my job is … and while you’re here let me show you that I got my hunter’s license.”
“Syd …”
I stopped getting up and sat back down. “Zane, I listened. I will think about it. But right now I’m topped off. I … I just need to do something that moves me forward. Whatever this is, however I handle it, it isn’t going to suddenly just up and get fixed or change or whatever. I will think about it and that’s all I can say right now.”
“That’s all I’m asking.”
“You’re asking a lot.”
“That’s because I think you’re worth a lot.”
I shook my head. “Don’t …”
“Too bad … and too late for whatever it is that is running around in your head. If nothing happens then it wasn’t meant to happen. But nothing can happen until we’re both in a place that we can handle what might happen.”
I shook my head. “Did that even make sense?”
He grinned slowly. “You tell me.”
I rolled my eyes and stood back up to get the paperwork that I had pulled out of the post box earlier in the day.
Jeepcats27
Senior Member
thank you
sssarawolf
Has No Life - Lives on TB
Lots of thanks Kathy.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
I handed Zane the paperwork and he said, “That was fast. I know people that applied a month before you and their licenses are being held up.”
I shrugged. “Some people have the touch.”
He looked at me suspiciously. “The touch?”
I shook my head. “Geez you’re gullible. I don’t know why mine came so fast. It just did.”
“Uh huh,” he said still giving me a look I didn’t deserve. “Either way this is a good thing. In a couple of days archery season is going to be over and firearms season for deer and bear starts.”
“Bear?!”
He snorted. “Relax. I don’t hunt bear much myself but Josh likes to. We eat bear, just not a lot of it. Most he sells to a client he has that is some kind of chef. See here, they’ve spelled it out for you; you’re allowed twelve tags for deer … and some of those have restrictions … and two for bear. Grouse, raccoon, ‘possum, and squirrel are also on the menu – with daily limits – if we can’t bag a deer for some reason.”
“Raccoons? Possums? Seriously?”
Zane grinned real big. “You have obviously not experienced your roots quite enough to really qualify as a local girl yet.”
“I think I can make do without that much experience thank you anyway.”
But the look on Zane’s face told me that if he had his way I’d be trying some in the near future. As adventurous as I imagine myself to be the thought of eating a nasty possum is a bit more than my still sensitive stomach can handle … so I changed the subject. “You hungry? I’ll cook something.”
“No. But I wouldn’t say no to a cup of coffee if you have any.”
“I’ll fix a pot.”
“No, not if you haven’t already got it fixed.”
I looked at him and realized he looked tired. “I don’t mind if you want to snooze. It isn’t good for you to be driving if you are this tired.”
He blinked at me and said, “You really wouldn’t mind?”
“Not if you don’t mind me sitting here snapping these beans so I can get them on the dehydrator. I should have had them done a long time ago. Meant to do them yesterday except I slept through the whole flaming day. My calendar is completely off now.”
“Snap away,” he said and then yawned. “Want me to help?”
“No. You nap, I’ll snap. Should I answer your phone if it rings?”
“Depends. Gran and Annie know I’m here. They won’t call unless it’s an emergency; they hate talking on the phone. Junior … I guess … but …”
“If it isn’t an emergency I’ll take a message.”
“Anybody else can roll over to voice mail.”
It didn’t take long for him to doze off and I noticed it was a little chilly so I quietly started the fire I had set in the fireplace and then drew an afghan over Zane when he slid over to the side. I got a trashcan and a bowl of beans and started snapping them and realized my head was a lot quieter than I had any right to expect it to be. I wasn’t jumpy or scared or anything. I thought about letting that upset me and decided it wasn’t worth the effort. Sometimes you just had to not look a gift horse in the mouth.
I had been snapping beans for over an hour when it was my phone and not Zane’s that went off.
“Daddy? Did you forget some …”
“Hush up and listen Sydney. They’re shutting down the city. It happened really fast. We aren’t getting out. We should be ok but you probably won’t be hearing from us for a while.”
“What?! Daddy?!!”
I sensed Zane jump awake.
“There’s been some kind of incident at Hunter. Don’t know what but it’s big. You remember what we taught you.”
A curtain of calm dropped down. I flicked the tv on and up popped some idiot reporter going nuts because he was being shoved back by men in uniform telling him that he was in a restricted area and he would either leave immediately or be arrested. Zane took the phone from my hand and started talking to Daddy.
Chapter Thirty
After a few minutes he handed the phone back to me and started making phone calls on his own phone.
“Sydney? Are you there?”
“Yes Sir. I’ll have everything ready for when …”
“Sydney, Baby, I told you it’s too late. If we can get out later … but for now there’s no way to get Rhonda and Patrice out … and Herschel is having a hard time getting home. I want you to know that your mother and I are so very proud of you.”
“Don’t you dare act like this. This is NOT the end. It’s not. It’s bad … but not … You’ve always told me that attitude is half the battle. So you shore it up Daddy. You shore it up and believe that things are going to be ok. Don’t you act like you are giving up.”
I heard a watery chuckle on his end before the phone started to get crackly. “Alrighty then, Daughter. But you just remember, we aren’t always in control and we don’t always get what we want. But believe me, in you your momma and I got exactly what we wanted. You’re a fine daughter. And if possible, I’ll call as soon as may be. And you listen to Zane. You hear?”
“I will. Is Mom there?” But I never got an answer as the phone made this awful noise and then started singing that awful silence you get when you lose a signal.
I stood there looking at the phone in my hand, trying to marshal my emotions before putting it in my pocket. I sniffed back the tears that wanted to fall and then got to work. Zane found me in the kitchen filling up the few water containers that I didn’t already keep full. “Sydney … Syd …”
I didn’t look at him. “You need to go make sure your family knows what to do. You need to get them set up.”
“I …”
I set the jug on the counter and then turned. “Zane. I know what has to be done. In one way or the other Daddy has been training me for this or something like it my whole life. This could turn out to be nothing but that’s not what I’m feeling right now. And there’s not a thing you can do around here but hold my hand and that’s only going to keep me from using two hands to do what needs doing. Go take care of Max. Go take care of your family. I need to do what I can so if … when … my family shows up everything will be ready for them.”
He stepped closer and then put his hands on my shoulders. “You’re something else you know that? I bet no one knows either … not like I do. Your dad may think he knows but … I’m pretty sure everyone underestimates you. Even me.”
“Doesn’t matter what anyone thinks. I know. And you know what you need to do.”
“I’ll be back.”
“Don’t. Family comes first.”
“Yes … and no. You’re one of us now. Don’t … don’t go crazy and try and drive off. OK?”
“That’s not part of the plan.”
------------------------
Nothing. I’ve heard nothing. I’ve puked twice and it was nothing but foamy acid from nerves. I’ve been glued to the tv, computer, and radio; switching from one to the other as the one goes temporarily offline. All they’ll say is that something happened. There is a lot of conjecture but they’re like holes in the ground … they’re all over the place and filled with different things, mostly nothing of any substance.
The phone system goes up and down. Zane has tried to call twice to check on me with both calls failing after we barely exchanged hellos. I texted him and just said not to try calling anymore as it is tying up the lines for real emergencies. I’m fine, really. Yeah, my nerves are twanging like an old country and western song but I’m dealing with it by staying busy. I’m just worried for my family. If I knew what happened - what’s happening now – then maybe I could moderate my worry or send it in a specific direction and make it useful instead of letting it sit in my stomach and churn.
The internet connection, what little there is, is slow. Daddy and I discussed the possibility that some kind of monitoring would occur that would take servers offline that were deemed a danger to national security. Or that traffic would just slow everything way down as servers failed. One or the other is definitely happening. So far, the major news networks are still up but I notice a lot of blogger sites are down or so slow they seem frozen or timed out. Some of the big media personalities’ websites are running slow and pages will go up only to turn into some kind of error when you try and click the link. It is all very suspicious of course but I expected it so it isn’t sending me into a panic. Satellite radio is a little better and that’s where I’m getting both the craziest and most reliable information from. Even with that there are no real factual conclusions I can make. Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, and all the other social media sites keep having things deleted left and right. People are furious and panicked that anyone would dare “moderate” them and take away what they say is their freedom of speech. It is happening internationally as well after someone high up realized people were using foreign servers to get around security protocols.
It was some kind of accident. OK. Unknown whether it was a legitimate accident, intentional accident, or foreign terrorism. OK. Unknown the extent of the accident. OK. Unknown what the radius of effect is. OK. Unknown if there are any injuries or fatalities. OK. Unknown exactly how the accident is being addressed other than the fact that since it is a military base that the feds and military are involved. OK.
Basically I don’t know much more than I did when Daddy called. Not OK.
What have I been doing to keep myself from going crazy? Topping off what I can top off without leaving the cabin and securing what can be secured. Keeping the dehydrator and canner going with the green beans and apples that have been occupying most of the refrigerator space that all the excess of eggs weren’t already taking up. Speaking of eggs, I’ve been pickling most of them in case the power gets low and the frig goes out. I’ve also been doing laundry but instead of hanging it outside I have the clothes line running down the long breezeway that runs from the front of the house to the back and have several clothes racks set up in the kitchen to hold my personal and delicates.
If the inside stuff wasn’t enough, I also did things outdoors. There was the mess left from this morning still to pick up, luckily it wasn’t so much that I couldn’t get rid of it in the burn barrel. I also brought in everything that was outside or on the porch. I don’t leave much out there to begin with but I did have some lawn chairs and a folding table. Max had already helped me to bring up the canoe from the lake so it could be properly stored for the winter in the barn; I just added padlocks to the chain that secures it. I also double checked all around the cabin for any damage done by the pervs. There were a couple of cosmetic things but since the shutters had been closed and secured it really wasn’t as bad as it could have been.
I feel alone. Not just a little alone but a lot alone. But I’m not. About an hour after dark I noticed I was seeing brake lights on Lake Road. One set, or even two, this time of year wouldn’t have caught my attention but this seemed to be another car about every five minutes. It was almost worse than around the beginning of July when the lodge gets jacked up busy for Independence Day.
We are on the upside of the lake and there is a pretty good view from the hall window on the second floor when the shutters are open. I had them open on that window already so I wouldn’t break my neck up there while I was putting away my clothes. The window is the only light in the hallway unless you light the sconces on the wall or hung a lantern. Not even the bedrooms up there have electricity. My grandparents thought it wasteful when they didn’t live at the cabin year-round though my grandfather had until he was a young man going off to look for work. My parents hadn’t wanted the hassle involved with all of the building codes they would have had to adhere to so it has remained the way it was when that part of the cabin was added on in the late 1880s. The bottom floor is even older and I never have gotten a straight answer of how old it was, not even from Uncle Hershel who used to act as repository for all of the useless family factoids.
I took my binoculars upstairs to the hall window and took me a good look … and it was worth a look and worth a worry too. Not all the cars stopped at the lodge or the cabins around the lake but continued on up to what passed for a subdivision in these parts. It isn’t a gated community, but it does have its own security company that patrols all of the expensive vacation “cabins” in that area. The only thing cabin-like about those places however is the materials they appeared to be made from. Daddy and I saw a few as they were being built back before the real estate market crashed and most of the “logs” were just facings on the outside. The insides were done up like the most modern house you can imagine. Mom took one look and turned her nose up saying that the kitchens were magazine pretty but next to useless and the closets in the bedrooms were bigger than the pantry. Daddy said the septic systems would fail with year-round use or if the electric went out to the pumps, the heating bill would be outrageous because the fireplaces were basically just decorative rather than efficient, and that he was not at all impressed with the materials used in some of the construction. Oh sure, some of those places were done right but not the majority of them.
The vehicles that were coming in were loaded down like you wouldn’t believe. But what really got me thinking was when I watched several carloads get out and start bringing in grocery bags with them. I saw the bags came from the food stores closest to Harmon; the logos on the sacks were pretty hard to miss. My plan for tomorrow had been to make a grocery run and deposit some of the money that Daddy had brought, now I’m wondering if that is going to profit me anything at all.
Looks like I need to sit down and go over those notes Daddy left for me even more closely. Maybe he left me some instructions or ideas just in case something like this happened.
Chapter Thirty-One
Who on earth?! It’s six in the morning. Maybe it is a deputy or someone from around the lake knocking to see if anyone is here. Wait! Maybe they made it out. Oh please oh please oh please oh please ….
I looked out the peep hole then jerked open the door. “Zane?!”
“I know. I look like …” He stopped and made a noise that was close to a growl. “I’ve got a damn huge favor to ask. I wouldn’t except …”
“Oh shut up! I mean don’t shut up … ask already. And come in so I can do something about that split eyebrow. God, what happened?”
“That was yesterday and it is just about as good as it is going to get; I just banged it again a couple of hours ago loading some stuff. And … and I can’t come in until after I ask the favor. First though, have you heard from your family?”
“No,” I said unable to say anything else.
Zane sighed and the said, “That makes this harder. I wish I could at least ask your father so he wouldn’t go ballistic.”
“Zane, just ask. Daddy isn’t here and I’m the one that must make the decisions.”
“Right,” he said with a nod. “I need a place to stay … and I’ve got Max with me. Things are upside down at home. John showed up overnight and brought his wife and kids. Mom and Gran couldn’t just turn them away, they’re a mess. Apparently they got out of Mobile just ahead of that city going on lock down. John got the crap beat out of him at a gas station trying to skirt around Atlanta when someone tried to carjack them. John’s tough and beat them off but he ain’t in good shape. John and Annie don’t get along too well but Annie likes his wife Sharon so between the two of them they’ll keep things relatively smooth. Thing is John and Max … John can’t stand Terrance and never has been able to. He just can’t seem not to equate Max with … anyway it just isn’t healthy for Max to be around John because John just can’t seem to keep his mouth shut more than a day or two at a time when his nerves are up and there is no telling how long they’re going to be forced to stay here. All their money is tied up in the bank and until they ease up on the withdrawal restrictions he’s not got two pennies to rub together even though his last bank statement tells anyone with brains he’s got a healthy savings account. I was going to take Max and go to one of the uncles – they needed a spare bedroom at home anyway – but apparently all the cousins are coming home to roost too.” He stopped and eased down onto the porch like he couldn’t stand anymore. “Would it be possible for Max and I to stay here until your family shows up? Hopefully by then I’ll have something figured out.”
“Are you nuts?!” Before he could say anything I told him, “If you even think of going any place else I’ll put the kibosh on you along with the evil eye, the hex, and anything else I can think of.”
He looked up at me and then relaxed. “Your dad is going to kill me.”
“No he isn’t.”
My tone of voice stopped him about halfway up off the step he’d been sitting on. “Syd? Are you sure everything is ok?”
I took a deep breath to keep myself from sounding like I was about to faint. “I honestly don’t know Zane. I still have hope. But there’s just this … this feeling. It comes and goes so I … I don’t know how much credence to give it. So for now I’m just ignoring it in favor of hope.”
He finished standing up and he surprised me with a one-armed hug. “You know your dad and mom know what they’re doing.”
“Yeah. The problem isn’t my parents. I wouldn’t worry so much if all they had to do was to get each other out. It’s my uncle, aunt, and cousin who they won’t leave. Not that I would want them to or tell them to … that’s not who my parents are … but it adds a lot of complicating factors that … that I’m just … not real confident that even Daddy would be able to … to overcome. And they still haven’t released any real details. And with everything else that is starting to happen. Then there is all that craziness over in the Middle East breaking out … And my God … did you hear about the bomb that was set off last night?”
“Yeah, I heard,” he said in a dead voice. “All we can do is focus on what we have on our plate right now. If you don’t mind I’m going to get Max inside. We stayed in the truck for a couple of hours at Uncle Hightower’s but it was damp and cold and neither one of us slept all that great.”
“Oh geez. Of course. Don’t listen to me whine.”
He put his hand out to stop me from rushing towards his truck. “You aren’t whining. I don’t want you to think that is what I think.”
I stopped and shook my head. “Let’s just get Max in. And I’ll fix you all some breakfast. No telling what the day is going to bring.”
The window came down on the passenger door as we walked towards Zane’s truck. “Syd!”
“Hi Max. You hungry?” I asked as casually as I could.
Ignoring my question he asked anxiously, “Can we stay? Really? Zane said he would ask.”
“He did and you bet. C’mon Buddy. You can pick out which bedroom you want.”
“I brought my sleeping bag. Zane said I’m going to sleep on the sofa and he’ll sleep on the porch.”
“Which just goes to show that Zane isn’t always right all the time … thank goodness. I don’t think he’d be half so much fun if he was right every stinking time, you know?”
Max grinned and then looked around in confusion. “What about your family?”
Carefully I said, “If my family shows up then we’ll play musical beds. Don’t worry about it Buddy, I’m not. Now c’mon. I feel a batch of muffins just going crazy to get baked. How do Bacon and Egg Muffins sound?”
“Like I just gotta try one.”
I laughed for the first time in what felt like days and ushered them both in. They cleaned up while I made the muffins but by the time they were baked and consumed Max looked like he was ready to do a face plant into the plastic table cloth on the kitchen table. Zane got him up and told him to rack out for a little so that he and I could talk and Max didn’t even make a peep as they trudged up the stairs.
When Zane came back down and told me he was asleep in the small room at the head of the stairs, the one I used when I was Max’s age. I handed Zane his refilled coffee mug and asked him, “Did you leave him a flashlight?”
“He’s got his but I doubt he’ll sleep until dark. He’ll come down looking for food before then and speaking of …”
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Start talking about money or whatever it is you were going to bring up. I can see it all over your face. You know I’ve got it to use.”
“For your family.”
There was that feeling again. A ping where there used to be something that was no longer there. “Please stop Zane. I already feed you two lunch on the days you are over here. It’s just as easy for me to cook for three as it is for one … easier. At least when you are here I have a reason to cook. Lately a lot of the time I just don’t even bother … it’s a clif bar or I eat something that doesn’t need cooking.”
“I’d noticed.”
“Noticed what?”
“That you’ve been losing weight. It doesn’t look good on you. You should eat.”
I snorted. “You say the strangest things. It doesn’t matter what I look like.”
I could see him trying to find what Daddy called the man trap and finally he just shook his head. “It matters because I know why you’re losing weight. You’re worrying and not taking care of yourself. I’ve seen a lot of my buddies go through this. Even if … look, no matter what you have to keep … keep caring about what happens to you. You aren’t important because of someone else. You are important for your own sake. You are unique. No one else fits in the space you take up.”
There was a chill in the air and I shivered. “Zane …”
“You got a problem with me moving most of that wood into the barn and down in the cellar?”
“Huh?” I asked confused by the abrupt change of subject.
“There’s a lot of faces around here that weren’t here last time I was by. And it’s going to get cooler over the next couple of days. I don’t know if you’ve heard but they are warning in town that due to the problems cropping up all over there may be some interruptions in service.”
“The electric is going to go off? That happens all the time on this side of the lake. Sometimes the rich people on the lodge side or up in that little vacation cabin enclave will complain about it but it usually isn’t a big deal for us on the po’ side.”
He shrugged understanding, just like I did, that there were classes of people whether anyone wanted to admit it or not. He also understood because we belonged in the same class, the working poor. Zane stretched before taking another careful sip of hot coffee. “It will matter when people can’t get their computer, tv, radio, xbox, or whatever else working that is using up their time. It will be when people realize no power means no gas station or grocery store. Not even the bait ‘n tackle will open … not that they have much left on their shelves anyway. It will be when people realize no power for most people means no news and no other services either. This may be the ‘po side but most of the folks here are still used to their modern conveniences.”
Carefully I leaned against the kitchen counter. “Daddy always said we couldn’t count on being able to restock our supplies like we do in normal times. But geez … now I wish I’d gotten more fresh milk and some stuff like that. I wish I hadn’t slept through Monday, I could use that day back … right along with my crystal ball that’s in the shop.”
Concerned Zane asked, “You real short on anything? I could go into town and try …”
“Huh?! No! No … uh sorry for yelling … I just mean getting fresh isn’t worth spending the gas or taking a chance. Speaking of … if you can bring up groceries I can bring up how banged up you are.”
“Yeah … yeah I guess you can.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
“So what happened?” I asked.
“I found out the hard way something that I should have already known. Panicked people are crazy people. And crazy people can get stupid real quick. I was thinking of all thing things that I wish we had been doing – stuff like your dad had done for your family – and Annie got wise and took a long look in the pantry and started making a list of things that were missing or on low supply. I was pretty shocked. Used to be that Gran and Mom always had stuff stacked three deep or more in the pantry but Mom said they’d been letting it slide, trying to wait out food prices going up so much.”
“Never count on the cost of anything going down. It might stay the same but usually food prices are like helium filled balloons … they just don’t seem capable of coming down on their own.”
“That there should be writ on stone. So, I didn’t panic but I thought I’d be able to get out ahead of the crowds. What I didn’t count on was everyone else having the same idea. Lord, God Almighty. It was worse than that year we had all those ice storms. The stores were already picked over by the time I got there and everyone was complaining that the shelves weren’t getting restocked. All the TP, paper towels, Kleenex, napkins … er … woman stuff … it was already gone or as close to it as I’ve ever seen happen. Not even the years that the stores had trouble during the covid pandemic was this bad. Same for the produce and meat sections.”
I nodded remembering something Daddy and Mom had discussed on a regular basis. “Some of it was probably done by people getting out of the cities. Daddy used to talk about this phase of things. You gonna let me clean that face up?”
“I can do it.”
“I know but it’ll be easier for you if you let me do it and you keep talking.”
Zane consented to let me doctor on him and he continued his story. “I managed to grab a few things on Annie’s list and made it up to the check out and that’s when I ran into problems. Some men were up there claiming to be with the NSA and DHS – they were definitely feds of some flavor – and they were enforcing rationing. People had started to really make a stink. They were solving that by asking people who complained to ‘register their complaints’ in the office. Wasn’t until I got outside that I heard those that went to complain were being detained, fingerprinted, and run through civil and criminal databases. They were catching everybody for something … unpaid traffic tickets, violations of probation, suspected welfare fraud, unpaid judgments, and more. That started a mini riot as people tried to run. I was almost out of there when some guy tried to jack my truck.”
I shuddered. “Holy golden horde Batman.”
“Huh?”
“It is a term that was used for the Mongols as they descended on their enemy. Something to do with their tent colors. Daddy used to talk about the potential for a modern version as people left the cities and spread out into the suburbs and beyond and sucked up all of the resources like locusts.”
“Not quite the same Sydney.”
“I know, just what you described reminded me of what I’d heard discussed.”
“Technically I suppose John and his family could be considered part of the … ok, call them hordes … of people leaving the most affected cities but they aren’t a conquering horde, more like a fleeing one.”
“Yeah, we aren’t talking warlords just yet.”
My statement raised his eyebrows. “Yet? Your parents really were deep into the wooly boogers weren’t they.”
“And what is that supposed to mean?” I snapped.
“Uh, that … that wasn’t appropriate. I’m sorry. Syd …”
I shrugged. “Just forget it. Look things are the way they are. Maybe I’m right, maybe I’m not. Maybe I’m exaggerating and maybe the world is going to come to an end faster than anyone imagines.”
“Syd it wasn’t that bad. I mean it was bad but not … well I said mini riot, not burn the town down all out combat zone. If Atlanta blows it will get bad fast but … mostly right now I think the bomb going off has freaked everyone out.”
“Calm before the storm,” I muttered, somewhat in defiance of what I saw as his not taking me seriously.
I must have looked worried. Zane reached up and pulled me to sit down across from him. “Syd, don’t bottle it up. Don’t use old sayings to cover it up. Talk to me. I’m sorry if … if I’m not reacting the way you maybe expect me to but it doesn’t mean I ain’t listening to you.”
Finally I said what was on my mind. “I wasn’t supposed to be alone.”
Understanding I was referring to my family he said, “Don’t give up hope.”
“I … I haven’t. But I’m not foolish either,” I said with a sigh. “There is no news coming out of Savannah. Now there isn’t anything coming out of Brunswick or Yulee going south and going north Charleston’s news shut down late yesterday. I haven’t heard anything out of Jacksonville since about 2 AM and that was from a UGA blogger that said his little sister called crying about their parents being sick and that there were men in the street wearing what sounded like hazmat suits. That blog is now gone like it never existed except I have a screen shot of it. I took it off my computer and stored it on a portable drive that isn’t connected.”
Zane looked at me suspiciously and said, “Syd, whatever you are doing be careful.”
“Huh?”
“Don’t do that. Not with me. You want to hide how smart you are from other people then fine, whatever. But not with me. I’ve seen you make that computer boogie. I’ve seen you fix the store computer just by having Max install some … some kind of program that let you access it from here at the cabin. That even impressed Junior and he thinks he’s a computer geek.”
“Junior is just a gamer. He needs to stop trying to optimize that old clunker so he can game while at work, he keeps fouling up the interface between the registers and the bookkeeping program.”
“See, that’s what I’m talking about. You can be honest with me. I’m not going to sell you out or … or abandon you just because you aren’t as dumb as you sometimes play at being.”
My phone rang and we both jumped. I ran over to where I had sat it while I was doctoring his face and nearly tripped over the ottoman. I juggled the phone and finally was able to answer it. “Hello?!”
A calm, nearly mechanical female voice responded, “This is the switchboard at Baldwin State Prison. Will you accept a call from Kevin Zitterbarth?”
“Uh … sure. This … this is his cousin, Sydney Zitterbarth.” The connection went through with a warning that all conversations were recorded.
“Sydney?!”
“Yeah … yeah Kevin. What gives? I thought you were restricted to only calling your parents.”
“Hush up and listen. I don’t have a lot of time. You need to pay attention to what I’m saying. You got that?”
It was a phrase our fathers would use when they wanted us to not just think about the words they were using but about why they were using the words and what that meant. “Yeah, I get it.”
“Ok,” he said in relief. “Are … are Dad and Mom there? Patrice?”
“No,” I told him carefully. I didn’t want to say anything more so stumbled over trying to reply, “They … they …”
His voice cracked. Kevin had always been tough, prison hadn’t done anything at all to change that. To hear his voice sound close to watery told me I wasn’t the only one thinking. He said, “OK. I … I had to … look …”
I finally admitted to my own feelings. Something that Kevin would understand as he had the same thing though not as strongly as me. He generally hated his feelings when he got them.
“I know Kevin,” I told him with finality.
“You’re … you’re sure?”
I shrugged even if he couldn’t see it and answered, “I could always be wrong.”
“But you’re not are you.” It was a statement, not a question.
“Dad called. It … it sounded … final. I’m not sure why I read it that way. It wasn’t the words he used, it was just the vibes he was giving off, even long distance.”
“He didn’t say what was going on?”
“No, only that something had happened at Hunter. He didn’t know what either, just that things were jacked up crazy and the city was already shut off.”
“Ok,” he said before adding something odd. “They were asking me. I figured it was something like that. You … uh … don’t happen to know any of your dad’s friends that might have more answers?”
Carefully I answered, “Friends? You mean like at that plant? They’re probably still in Savannah too since whatever happened was so fast. And even if they aren’t you know Daddy didn’t really bring home work with him. We never socialized with anyone like that.”
“Nobody? What about at the lake?”
“Anybody my parents would have hung out with – and there weren’t really all that many – are all summer people and I don’t know where they live when they aren’t here. And the few I do remember from when we used to go to the lake parties have sold their places and I don’t know who owns them now.”
“Oh. Are you sure because I thought with you at the lake cabin …”
“It was a trick. Daddy really sent me up here because that stuff with Dan was about to heat back up with the trial and all starting. I wonder if this will delay things?” I asked in a kind of dopey, unthinking tone.
“And the money?”
I felt like Kevin had goosed me. “What money?”
“Some big legacy from Sam. Patrice mentioned it last time we talked just to rub my nose in things.”
“Huh? You mean the life insurance policy? That went to pay bills and do some fix up here at the cabin. I think they also spent some to make the house more accessible for Patrice … I know they renovated the bathrooms and added that big ramp onto the front of the house.”
“Is that all?”
“That’s a weird question. How am I supposed to know? You know good and well Daddy didn’t tell me stuff like that. It was his and Mom’s business, not mine … or yours for that matter. I suppose if there was anything left over it would have gone into some kind of retirement account. Why are you asking me this stuff when there are more important things to worry about? Or … or do you know something I don’t? About the family? Have you heard something? Heard from them?! What are you not telling me?! Is this some scheme that you and your prison buddies are cooking up?!!”
“What?! No! It’s those NS …”
There was a clicking noise and then the female voice came on the line again and asked, “Would you like to pay for three more minutes?”
“With what? My looks? You just tell my cousin until I hear from the family there isn’t any more money. My savings is almost gone and …”
There was a final dial tone and I closed the line on my end. Looking at the phone in disgust I flipped it over and with a sigh took the battery out. Zane opened his mouth to say something but I hushed him with a finger across my lips. I opened the desk drawer and pulled out a small box and put the phone and battery inside. I took the camera off of my old tower computer I had built myself then unplugged the cable from the monitor and the power plug from the tower. I also unscrewed the internet cable from the tower as well.
I grabbed my net book that had been setting by the computer, the phone and battery, and the camera from the computer and walked down to the cellar. Over in the corner with other galvanized trash cans filled with bulk grains and beans was an empty can. Taking the lid off anyone could see it was different from the others as it was lined inside with sound proofing and cardboard. I set the electronic pieces down inside the can and closed and secured the lid.
I turned and found Zane at the top of the flight of stairs. I told him, “Yes, I’m paranoid. This is probably all crazy … overkill, nutso, and any other adjective you can come up with. Go right on ahead and think I’m fit for the straight jacket brigade.”
Casually Zane shrugged and said, “Better safe than sorry.”
Surprise nearly stole my breath but after a moment I sighed in relief at his acceptance of what had to look strange as all get out. Two more seconds and all I could do was flop down on the bottom riser and start crying.
A little while later, after I managed to regain my self-control, I turned to find that Zane had come down the stairs to sit beside me. I wiped my eyes and explained the call to Zane. He listened thoughtfully then asked, “So you think your cousin is a sell out?”
“I know he is,” I told him matter of factly. “But probably because he wasn’t given much of a choice. However, he also let me know up front something was hinky … not in so many words but in a way that only him, Patrice, Sam or me would have gotten. Even though I was the youngest and rarely got included in their games I still absorbed some of them and Kevin used a phrase our fathers used often enough that it automatically clicked. And I’m pretty sure he got the phone call cut off on purpose. I hope he doesn’t get into too much trouble over it. Kevin can be a jerk … but he wasn’t always that way. He and Sam used to be inseparable. He …”
When I faltered Zane put his hand on my shoulder and said, “You don’t have to explain. All families have their issues.”
“Good. ‘Cause I’m not sure I could explain it right now anyway.”
“You really think your family is …” I could see Zane hesitating to actually use the word.
“Yeah,” I responded almost ready to break down into tears again. “They’re … they’re dead. Something bad happened at Hunter. I’m guessing something that they haven’t been able to completely contain even though they might be slowing it down as much as possible. It is spreading out from Savannah along the interstate … so some people might have gotten out before they were completely able to stop traffic. Whatever it is, it is making people sick. Our house is only a mile from Hunter. They would have gotten a heavy dose of … of whatever. I just … I can’t get into guessing what it might be right now.”
“I’ll do my own guessing after I make a few calls. Now for the other. What money was your cousin making such a big deal about?”
“Some craziness I don’t even know much about except it has something to do with Sam’s death and that it was one of the things that made me … wonder … about how my parents were treating me and why they really sent me here. I didn’t know anything about it though it was supposedly released to them two years ago after some long, bureaucratic messiness. That’s the money that has paid for all the repairs and stuff to the cabin. Daddy accidentally let slip that for some reason he and Mom personally were being given a hard time over it at one point. Beyond that I don’t understand.”
“Just your family or the other families of the GIs that were killed?”
“Don’t take this the wrong way Zane but what part of I don’t know, Daddy wouldn’t explain it to me, do you not understand?”
“Syd …”
“Don’t you know I know how this sounds? How it looks? They didn’t trust me. I don’t know why. And now I’ll never know! This … this is a god-awful mess!”
Calmly, like he dealt with borderline personality disorders every day, Zane said, “One, you can’t know for sure about your family. Yes I know it looks bad but you can’t know one hundred percent for sure. Two, you admitted it and I witnessed it … your dad is just very protective. That’s not distrust, that’s being careful of something you value.”
I shook my head. “I don’t see it that way. Protecting someone to the extent my parents did me is basically saying that the person being protected isn’t strong enough in some way to be trusted to handle whatever is going on. And now? Now I’m left handicapped. How am I supposed to do this without them if they held all the most important information?! How am I supposed to … to live without them when they made sure that … that …?!”
sssarawolf
Has No Life - Lives on TB
Thank you for the additions.
What a story! Can’t wait to see what happens next!!
I'll try and get to it this weekend or the beginning of next. Trying to finish Veta 2 so I don't lose it.
Siskiyoumom
Veteran Member
Yipee ! Thank you.
larry_minn
Contributing Member
Vets 2 places I will never see. But this story. I am “invested” in the characters more. This is what I want more. 
Would you consider bringing over your other finished chapters on this story? This is one of my favorites, and it would be great to have them all here. And, some folks might not know that you have already written more of it Thanks! Happy New Year!
we have hope for unfinished chapters
we have hope for unfinished chapters