Chapter 137
I knew something about Huebie. He’s ticklish. I accidentally poked him in his ribs with my elbow causing a major and complete spazz out as we were walking out of an exam our first semester of grad school. I was the only one to witness it and he swore me to secrecy. I’d never even threatened to use it as blackmail because he was so ashamed. Calling Huebie a bit “rotund” was not anything close to exaggeration. He was a couple of years older than Winn but still looked like he just graduated from high school … baby face look, and soft and round all over. Kinda like the Stay-puff Marshmallow guy from the first movie in the Ghostbusters franchise they’d rebooted yet again last year.
Yep. Worked like a charm. One good solid poke and he practically did a spazzing levitation. It was real nice to be able to breathe again.
“Relax,” I whispered with a hand on his arm. “Emergency measures only. You were squishing the poo out of me.”
He chilled immediately and I realized his “zone out” was over and he was back firing on all pistons. “Sorry. You okay?”
“Relatively speaking,” I hissed. “Help me with this guy. It looks like his head is bleeding.”
“He’s a guard,” Huebie said in alarm.
“Duh. What gave it away? The uniform or the thing that throws bullets at high speed?”
Someone hissed, “Stop kissing ass, Puta.”
It was the Spanish gang-girl. I told her, “Get over yourself and use some brains. Last thing I want to do is be blamed because one of these guys got his brain blenderized.”
She called me another rude name, so I put her on ignore though I kept an eye on her. She acted like one of the mean girls and I was so over that period in my life.
I heard some gagging up front but could do nothing about it. We were locked in so couldn’t exit the cage. I also didn’t want to go wandering around being mistaken for one of the bad guys. You could hear automatic gunfire further off, and moving further off than that. There was still a lot of noise outside, but it was hard to tell what the noise was because of all the hysteria that was starting inside the bus.
The guy I had been putting direct pressure on a head bang was trying to hold onto a walkie-talkie looking thing but couldn’t hold it, talk, and make sense at the same time.
“Hang on Dude, you moving around is only making your ouch more gooshy. Huebie? How does this thing work?”
Huebie took a quick look and then tells me which button to push and what to turn loose of when I was done talking. “Hello. Er … breaker one-nine … or however you get attention on this thing.”
A sharp command of “Identify yourself,” came out of the speaker.
“Oh. Uh … Edie Holtzinger Dunn. We’re in the bus … or on the bus that is tipped kinda kitty-kaka. Some of your people are hurt and we kinda can’t get out of this tin can. And I’d really not like to get blamed for it.”
There was a momentary silence.
“Say again?”
“Dude, we got shot at and then blown almost over on our side but not quite. Big, ugly black bus. They told us we were draftees but that’s about the only thing we’ve been told. We came from Georgia.”
“And do you know where you are at now?”
“Well, it ain’t Kansas Toto.” Huebie frogged my arm. “Ow! Stop that.” I sighed. “Sorry, someone was reminding me that was rude. My nerves are a little on edge. And we got people hurling beanee weenies at the front of the bus because … urp … I think you have one person down from a really gross … uh … head shot. We knew her as Professor Heaton. It is dark in here and kinda hard to tell for sure. Bus driver is still in his seat, and I don’t know about him. He’s not moving. Five of us plus two guards are locked back here in the cage area and the two guards got a little more than banged up when the bus got mule kicked by an explosion. One unconscious with a goose egg on his forehead and the other guy that was trying to call on this radio thing that won’t stay still that has a … I guess it is called a scalp laceration kinda thing that is bleeding like my husband would call a stuck pig. He doesn’t appreciate I am only putting direct pressure so he doesn’t bleed out. So like, can you come get us out of here? We’re stuck.”
“Personnel on their way. Tell everyone to stay away from any firearms.”
“Duh.” I got another frog. “Will you stop that Huebie!”
Calmly, like he was used to dealing with my smart butt bombs as much as Winn, he said, “This isn’t school Edie. They don’t know that you have diarrhea of the mouth and are barely more than a kid.”
I sighed again. “I am not a kid. I have a kid, and I just got married.”
“Then act like it,” he hissed. “These guys are holding our life in their hands.”
The guy with the goose egg was awake and stuck out his hand and I handed him the radio and he proceeded to use what I guess were call signs and identifying information. Less than a minute later the Spanish girl with ‘Tude nearly falls out of the back of the bus when the rear emergency hatch is yanked open. Mademoiselle Idiot immediately starts fighting and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone wind up in plastic zip ties that fast, not even in the movies. She made more noise than the cow did the time Winn took Teena and I to a rodeo and we watched cowboys compete in a rope and tie competition. Well, she did until someone slapped a piece of gorilla tape across her mouth and then tossed her in the back of an electric wagon and pointed an scary as crap EBR at her.
The people in the front of the bus were definitely not having a good day either. Huebie, and the two soldier-ish guys, and I looked at each other and you could tell none of us wanted the damage they were creating. I was ready to let off a couple of smart butt bombs in the nuclear range of strength but a look from Huebie reminded me why it would be more constructive for me to exhibit some self-control.
So instead of ripping into them like my nerves were crying to do I snapped, “Yo, yo, yo people, seriously. This is already hard enough as it is. Calm. The frick. Down. And you do not want to know what I will do to you if you get us on the naughty list and it takes even longer for me to get back to my daughter and husband. Capiche?”
A guy that we’d done first semester with says, “Edie? Huebie? What’s going on?”
Huebie had abdicated any position of leadership. I looked at Louie and Dewey and they didn’t want to play either. So I answered, “No clue Joshua. Right now it kinda doesn’t matter. Everyone just needs to calm down so that whatever is happening doesn’t get worse.”
Most every looked away as they took Professor Heaton off the bus on a sheet covered stretcher. Me? I just got angrier. All I could think was there went some of the answers I wanted.
Huebie caught me looking, as did the other two guys, and I tried to be less like a freak and at least pretend the woman’s death pinged my moral compass. But sorry, not sorry. I knew she had something to do with me being ripped away from Teena and Winn and she participated in her own ending.
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I looked around and we were caught between the pillar of a gated entrance and a couple of stacked concrete barriers that ran down the middle. The concrete barriers were what kept us from tipping all the way over.
The bus driver and one of the guards from the front were brought out on stretchers, but their faces weren’t covered, so I knew that at least at that moment they weren’t dead, but they didn’t look like they were going to the head of the line for medical care either the way they were being bounced around carelessly. One of the other guys whispered, “Triaged.”
I glanced at him and realized he must have read my face and was answering my unasked query. I knew what triage meant, at least generally speaking, but I’d never witnessed it being used in quite that fashion.
Then our herd that had made up the entire bus started being pushed along and getting separated into different cow chute lines. Most of the front of the bus went one direction in the dark. I watched as the Spanish girl was picked up out of the wagon and literally tossed into a waiting van like a piece of unclaimed luggage and driven off. I never saw her again. The two guys were treated better but they were also treated a bit like they were armed and dangerous and joined another group of people, mostly men, coming from a different direction.
If the first group were herded like sheep, and the Spanish girl like trash, the second group was treated more like long horn cattle with attitudes. That left Huebie and I. We were bookended by female guards. I could read Huebie as well as I could often read Winn. The difference between the two men were that I knew Winn would have been letting people underestimate him on purpose, like only having only female guards had his pride was involved. Huebie on the other hand let it ding his self-confidence which took a dump.
It was no lie to say Huebie could have used a better diet and some cardio, but he wasn’t really any worse than a lot of the super smart tech guys that spent way too much time playing computer games online. It was just, like them, he had some self-esteem issues, especially when it came to females. I knew that for a fact because Eudora had explained it to me saying that Huebie reminded her of her older brother and dad who were the same type of male. Our female guards, on the other hand, could have easily passed for Amazons in an RPG.
I was trying to take it all in and put together some kind of picture when they startled me by pushing Huebie down one hallway and me down another. It was like having my woobie taken away until Huebie called to me and said in a surprisingly strong voice, “Watch the mouth Edie. These people won’t put up with it. Just remember you eventually want to go home. Okay? Just remember that.”